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Are you willing to live with a cheater?

Most people experience a great deal of pain and loneliness after a divorce, death of a spouse or end of a significant relationship.  It’s one of the most unsettling times in a person’s life and it’s perfectly understandable to want to fall in love again.  However, in our haste to feel wanted and needed and desired, we need to think about the consequences of starting a relationship with a married man or woman.

  STATISTICS

     Current research indicates that both men and women are almost equally likely to cheat on their partner, a statistic that used to heavily favor men in the past.

• About 15-20% of married couples cheat.  The rate of cheating increases with age for both married men and married women.

• 13% of women and 20% of men admitted to having sex with someone who is not their spouse while married.

• What’s new, is that there has been a 40% increase in the number of women cheating.

• Men are 3x’s more likely to use dating sites and apps for casual sex • 1 in every 6 people in dating apps are using the app to cheat on their partner.

• Most people who cheat have been married for 20-30 years and are between the age of 50 and 60

• More that 50% of cheating spouses, both men and women say they confessed to their spouse about their affair.

• Men are more likely to report cheating on their spouse multiple times.

• Married men are about 25% more likely to report having one-night stands than women.

• Married women report their highest rate of infidelity in their 60s. 

• According to the American Psychological Association (APA), infidelity in the United States accounted for 20-40% of divorces.

• People who are under 30 and over 70 were least likely to divorce after an affair, compared to those in their 50s and 60s 

Dear Beatty,

I am a 59 years old professional, attractive, affluent, divorcee with grown children. My ex- husband was a serial cheater, who broke my heart over and over again throughout our 25 year marriage. He left me 4 years ago for his long-term girlfriend.  Last month I met Bob, a married man, on an online dating site.  We emailed and spoke on the phone on an almost daily basis and when we finally met in person, we both felt a very strong emotional and physical connection.  He told me that although he has been unhappy with his marriage for many years, he has no plans to divorce his wife and disrupt his children’s life.  He said that as long as I could accept this situation, that he was committed to having a relationship with me.  I know that this is not the best way to begin a relationship.  However, I am very attracted to him and I am leaning toward accepting this arrangement on his terms. Do you think that this could possibly work for me.

ANNA B.

Sag Harbor, NY

Dear Anna,

I’m sorry to rain on your parade.  HOWEVER—you’ve already lived with a serial cheater who broke your heart over and over again.  Why do you believe that this arrangement could possibly be in your best interest?  The only person who I see benefiting from this is Bob.  He continues to live with his wife and children, without disrupting his life AND he has a mistress on the side.  It’s a win/win situation for him and a very dicey predicament for you. How do you imagine this relationship playing out?  Would you be able to go out with him in public and socialize with friends?  Probably not, since you both live in the same community and know many of the same people.  Are you willing to spend your time with him hidden away in a hotel or at your home?  Try and think about what this reality would be  for you – knowing that his wife and children are really his number one priority. He has made that very clear to you. It also is very clear that you are repeating history with a man who is a cheater, who is neither committed to you or his wife.  It’s all about him as it was with your ex husband. 

For 25 years you enabled a man who hurt you and betrayed you.  Why do you think that you put up with that sort of disrespect and abuse?  Haven’t you been hurt enough?   Why would you want to put yourself in a similar situation where ultimately you will be the one to be hurt?  A good therapeutic experience would enable you to see and deal with some of your issues, including your lack of self-esteem.  Do you not feel that you deserve better?  Do you not want to be your partner’s number one priority?  Why settle for crumbs? Why repeat history?  Do you not feel that you are worthy of love, respect, fidelity and commitment?  These and many other possible issues need to be looked at and addressed.  I would like you to consider them seriously before agreeing to put yourself into another very risky and self-destructive situation.   Please let me know if I can be of help.

BEATTY

Beatty would love to hear from you and welcomes your questions and comments.  Email her at BeattyCohan.msw@gmail.com or visit BeattyCohan.com for more information.

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Basketball: How has Israel become one of the best basketball countries in Europe in the last few years?

When Israeli Deni Avdija became the first Israeli to be drafted as the highest Israeli draftee in NBA history in 2020 – then emerged as a key NBA wing in Portland, it was not so much the breakthrough it appeared to be, but a portent of things to come. Israeli basketball development has been decades in the making, and in recent years its clubs have made Europe take notice.

This is why Maccabi Tel Aviv, Hapoel Tel Aviv, and the national basketball team of Israel are now the subjects of serious discussion in European basketball. It is only natural that fans and bettors reading form, depth of the roster, and momentum would look at our Euroleague predictions and then evaluate how Israeli teams would fit into the continental picture.

A rich history: The Maccabi Tel Aviv mythos

The contemporary narrative dates back to before Avdija. Maccabi Tel Aviv won its maiden European Cup in 1977, beating Mobilgirgi Varese and providing a nation under pressure with a sporting icon. Tal Brody’s declaration: “We are on the map” became not just a quote, it became a declaration of Jewish confidence, Israeli strength and a basketball dream.

Maccabi turned out to be the team of the nation since it bore Israeli identity past the borders. Maccabi has been a cultural ambassador before globalization transformed elite lists into multinational conundrums. Its yellow jerseys were the symbol of excellence, rebellion, and identification for the Israeli people at home and Jewish communities abroad.

The six European championships for the club provided a benchmark that has influenced the Winner League and Israeli basketball. Children were not just spectators of Maccabi, they dreamed of Europe as something accessible. Coaches studied in the continental competition. Sponsors and broadcasters realized that basketball had the potential to be the most exportable Israel team sport.

The modern pillars of Israeli basketball’s success

The recent ascendancy of Israel is no magic. It is the result of history, astute recruiting, youth-building and pressure-tested league culture. The nation has made its size its strength: clubs find talent at a young age and enhance the potential with foreign professionals.

Nurturing homegrown talent: The Deni Avdija effect

The most obvious example is that of Avdija. He was a high-ranking contributor in the system of Maccabi Tel Aviv, was chosen as a teenager, and was picked number 9 by Washington in the 2020 NBA Draft. His career was a reminder that an Israeli prospect could be more than a local star; he could be a lottery pick with two-way NBA potential.

Israeli NBA player Omri Casspi had already opened that door, and Avdija opened it even further for the next generation. Their achievements captivated the expectations of youthful players in Tel Aviv, Jerusalem, Holon, Herzliya, etc. An Israeli teenager is now able to envision a path from youth leagues to the Winner League, the EuroLeague, and ultimately – NBA minutes.

It is that dream that has been followed by investment. Israeli clubs put more emphasis on skills training, strength training, and analytics, as well as international youth tournaments. The success of the national program in the face of the best of Europe has also helped.

A global approach: The role of international and naturalized stars

The other pillar of the Israeli basketball program is the openness of Israel to global talent. The Winner League has been an important destination, not a stopover, for American guards and forwards. Most come in with NCAA or G league experience and become leaders due to the fact that the league requires scoring, speed and tactical flexibility.

It is enriched with naturalized players and Jewish players, who are able to use the Law of Return to come to Israel to play. Inspired by legendary players like Tal Brody, current imports who can bond both professionally and personally with Israelis have provided teams with uncharacteristic diversity in their rosters. The outcome has been a mixture of Israeli competitiveness, American shot making, Balkan toughness, and European spacing.

Making waves in Europe: Israel’s modern Euroleague footprint

Even in challenging seasons, Maccabi Tel Aviv has remained the flagship team. Currently, Maccabi is out of a playoff spot in the EuroLeague, but Hapoel Tel Aviv has shot up in playoff discussion. That juxtaposition speaks volumes: Israel is no longer represented by one lone, iconic club. Its profile has expanded.

Nevertheless, it is true that the reputation of Maccabi in the EuroLeague does count. Menora Mivtachim Arena in Tel Aviv is one of the most intimidating arenas for EuroLeague teams to play in: loud and emotional. Recent security and travel realities have affected the usual home-court advantage but the name of the club is still a potent brand.

It is the reason why there is an interesting betting discussion within Israeli teams. The name Maccabi still retains a historical impact, but analysts also need to quantify the present defensive performance, injuries, substitution of venues and guards, and fatigue in the schedule. The emergence of Hapoel has provided another Israeli point of reference and markets have to regard the nation as a multi-club force.

What’s next? The future of Israeli basketball on the world stage

Sustainability is the second test. The Israeli national basketball team desires more serious EuroBasket performances and a future world cup. It requires Avdija types – fit and powerful, more domestic big men, and guards capable of playing elite defense to get there.

The pipeline is an optimistic one. Israeli schools are more professional, teams are bolder with young talents, and the Winner League is a test ground where potential talents have to contend with older, tougher imports each week. Not all players will turn into an Avdija, yet additional players ought to be prepared to participate in EuroCup, EuroLeague, and even NBA games.

To the Jews in the Canadian diaspora, the impact is not only sporting, it is also emotional. Israeli basketball brings pride, drama and a common language to the continents. To the European fan, it provides tempo, creativity and unpredictability. To analysts, it provides a sign that a small nation, with memory, ambition and adaptation, can rise to become a true basketball power. Israel has ceased to be the unexpected guest on the table of Europe. It is a part of it, season after season.

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In recent years, we have been looking for something more than a house in Israel – we have been looking for a home

Savyoney Givat Shmuel - in the centre of Israel

For many Jewish families in the diaspora, Israel has always been more than a destination. It is the land of tefillah, memory, family history and belonging. But in recent years, many families have begun asking a practical question too: should Israel also become a place where we have a home?

Not necessarily immediate aliyah. Sometimes it begins with a future option, something good to have just in case, or simply roots with a stronger connection to Eretz Yisroel.

But what does it mean?

A Jewish home is shaped not only by what is inside the front door, but by what surrounds it: neighbours, synagogues, schools, parks, local services, safe streets and the rhythm of Jewish life. For observant families, these are not small details. They are the things that turn a house into a place of belonging.

This is not a new idea. It is a need that has helped shape Jewish communities in Israel before. The Savyonim idea is rooted in the story of Savyon, the Israeli community established in the 1950s by South African Jews who wanted to create a green, safe and community-minded environment in Israel. It was a diaspora dream translated into life in the Jewish homeland.

That idea feels relevant again today. Many Jewish families abroad are now making plans around where they can feel connected in the years ahead.

Recent figures point in the same direction. Reports based on Israel’s Ministry of Finance data showed that foreign residents bought around 1,900 homes in Israel in 2024, about 50% more than the previous year, with Jerusalem emerging as the most popular place to buy. In January 2026, foreign residents still purchased 146 homes, broadly similar to January 2025, even as the wider housing market remained cautious.

Lior David

For Lior David, International Sales & Marketing Manager at Africa Israel Residences, part of the continued interest may lie in the fact that today’s residential projects are increasingly built around the wider needs of Jewish families abroad: not only buying a property in Israel, but finding a setting that can support community, continuity and everyday Jewish life. That idea is reflected in Savyonim, the company’s residential concept, which places the surrounding environment at the heart of choosing a home.

Savyoney Ramat Sharet in Jerusalem

This can be seen in Savyoney Givat Shmuel, where the surrounding environment includes synagogues, parks, educational institutions, local commerce, playgrounds and transport links, and in Savyoney Ramat Sharet in Jerusalem, located in one of the city’s established green neighbourhoods.

For families abroad, these things matter. Jerusalem and Givat Shmuel are never just another location. They are home to strong Jewish communities, established religious life and surroundings that allow a family to imagine not only buying property, but building a Jewish home in Israel.

Together, these projects reflect a broader understanding: that for many Jews in the diaspora, the decision to create a home in Israel is not only practical, but rooted in identity, continuity and community. The Savyonim story began with a Zionist community from abroad that succeeded in building a real home in Israel; today, that same vision continues in a contemporary form.

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When a Personal Loan Can Be a Smarter Option Than Carrying Credit Card Debt

A lot of people keep credit card debt longer than they planned because the monthly minimum looks manageable, but that is the trap. The payment feels small enough to live with, but much of it goes to interest when the balance is high. That means the debt can drag on for years, even if you keep paying on time.

A personal loan can be a smarter option when you already know the debt will not be gone quickly. Instead of carrying a revolving balance with a high rate and no firm payoff date, you move the debt into a fixed loan with regular payments and a clear endpoint. That does not solve every debt problem, but in the right situation, it can reduce interest costs and make repayment more realistic.

The Core Difference Between These Two Types of Debt

Credit cards are flexible, so you can borrow, repay, and borrow again without applying every time. That flexibility is useful for day-to-day spending, emergencies, and short-term borrowing. It becomes expensive when a large balance sits there month after month.

A personal loan is structured. You borrow one amount upfront, then repay it over a set term, often between one and five years. The payment usually stays the same each month. That structure matters because it forces steady progress. 

When a Personal Loan Usually Makes More Sense

A personal loan tends to be the better choice when the debt is already turning into a medium-term problem rather than a short-term one. That often means you are no longer using the card for convenience. You are using it as borrowed money and paying a high price for that access.

It can be a smart move in cases like these:

  • You are carrying a balance for several months and do not see a realistic way to clear it soon
  • Your card interest rate is much higher than the loan rate you qualify for
  • You have debt across two or three cards and want one payment instead of several
  • You need a fixed monthly amount so you can build a proper budget
  • You want a firm payoff date instead of open-ended repayment

The Biggest Practical Advantage Is Predictability

If your monthly budget is already tight, uncertainty makes everything harder. Credit card minimum payments can rise as rates change or balances grow. Multiple cards also mean multiple due dates, different limits, and a higher chance of missing one payment.

A personal loan can make life simpler. You know the payment amount, the term, and the month the debt should be gone. That makes it easier to plan around rent, groceries, utilities, childcare, and other fixed costs. For many households, that predictability is just as valuable as the interest savings.

When you are comparing offers, a reputable financial institution like, for example, Innovation Federal Credit Union can explain the full cost of borrowing, not just the headline rate. That matters because the real question is not whether the payment looks fine today. The real question is whether the loan will make your debt cheaper, easier to manage, and less likely to come back.

Where People Make Mistakes

Paying off a card with a loan helps only if the card balance stays low afterwards. If the card fills up again, you end up with both the loan and new revolving debt. That is usually worse than the original problem.

Another mistake is focusing only on the monthly payment. A longer loan term can make the payment feel easier, but it may also increase the total amount of interest paid over time. A smaller payment is not automatically a better deal.

Before signing anything, check these points carefully:

  • The loan interest rate
  • Any origination or administration fees
  • The total amount you will repay over the full term
  • Whether you can make extra payments without penalty
  • Whether the monthly payment truly fits your budget
  • What you will do with the credit cards after the balance is paid off

When a Personal Loan Is Not the Better Option

If your credit is weak, the loan rate may not be much better than your card rate. In that case, the savings may be too small to justify the switch. If fees are high, the benefit can shrink even more.

It also may not help if the real issue is cash flow. If your income is not covering regular monthly bills, replacing card debt with a loan does not solve the shortage. The payment may look neater, but the pressure remains. In that case, the better step may be a hard review of spending, extra income, or professional debt advice.

A credit card can still be a better tool when you can pay off purchases quickly and in full. Used that way, a card can be convenient and cost nothing in interest. The problem starts when short-term borrowing quietly becomes long-term debt.

How to Decide

Pull together the numbers for every card you carry. Write down the balance, the interest rate, the minimum payment, and how much you usually pay each month. Then compare that with the full cost of a personal loan offer.

Look at these questions:

  • How much interest will I pay if I keep the debt on my cards
  • How much interest and fees will I pay with the loan
  • How long will each option take to clear
  • Can I manage the loan payment even in a tight month
  • Am I ready to stop using the paid-off cards for routine spending

If the loan gives you a lower total cost, a clear payoff schedule, and a payment you can genuinely handle, it may be the smarter move. 

A Good Loan Strategy Includes a Behaviour Plan

If you use a personal loan to clear card balances, decide in advance what happens next. Some people keep one card open for emergencies and put the others away. Others lower their limits or remove saved card details from shopping apps. Small changes like that can prevent the old pattern from restarting.

Set up automatic payments if possible. Put the loan due date just after payday. Build even a small emergency fund alongside repayment so an unexpected car repair or vet bill does not go straight back on the card. Those steps may sound basic, but they often make the difference between lasting progress and another round of debt.

To Sum Up

A personal loan can be a smarter option than carrying credit card debt when the debt is already lingering, the loan rate is meaningfully lower, and the monthly payment fits your budget without strain. The real advantage is not only lower interest. It is structure, clarity, and a realistic path to being done with the debt.

That said, a loan works best when it is paired with changed habits. If the card balance returns after the transfer, the loan will not have solved much. 

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