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How Adam Sandler’s ‘You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah’ drew on real-life Jewish celebrations

(JTA) — To prepare for their role in creating Adam Sandler’s latest movie, crew members hit the Toronto bar and bat mitzvah circuit.

Production designer Perry Blake and set decorator Julia Altschul, guided by a local consultant on the Jewish coming-of-age ceremony, crashed 10 parties within a matter of weeks.

“We saw how amazing and big and outlandish and extravagant they were,” Blake told the Jewish Telegraphic Agency. “With a movie, you usually set your sights high — bigger than the real world. But that was like, wow, the real world is really amazing.”

The team borrowed several features from the events they attended, from 30-foot-wide videos honoring the bar and bat mitzvah celebrants to costly DJs to fanciful lighting displays. All of those led to to the lavish sets in “You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah,” which hits Netflix on Friday.

One circus-themed party inspired the dazzling Carnivale-themed bar mitzvah that opens the film.

“We actually hired one of the people who was working at this circus bar mitzvah to be in our movie,” said Altschul. “She was a stilt walker and she had different outfits. So at the circus bar mitzvah she was a bearded lady and then at ours, she was this really amazing, flamboyant butterfly girl.”

The world of extravagant, euphoric and angst-charged parties for 13-year-olds is the setting of Sandler’s new comedy, a coming-of-age drama that is also an onscreen vehicle for his real-life Jewish family. Sandler plays the befuddled, uncool dad Danny Friedman to Stacy and Ronnie Friedman, portrayed by his real-life daughters, Sunny and Sadie Sandler, while his wife Jackie Sandler has a smaller role as the mother of Stacy’s best friend Lydia.

Idina Menzel, Sandler’s co-star in “Uncut Gems,” reunites with him for “You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah.” (Scott Yamano/Netflix)

The friendship between Stacy and Lydia makes up the backbone of the film, which is based on Fiona Rosenbloom’s 2005 book of the same name. The two girls start out planning their dream bat mitzvah parties together, but a rift over Hebrew school stud Andy Goldfarb (Dylan Hoffman) threatens to destroy both their friendship and their Jewish rites of passage.

Sandler has previously appeared in movies with Jewish themes, including the comedy “You Don’t Mess With the Zohan,” about a legendary Israeli soldier, and acclaimed dramas “The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)” and “Uncut Gems.” (The Jewish actress Idina Menzel starred opposite Sandler in “Uncut Gems,” about the diamond business, and again plays his character’s wife in the new film.)

But none has portrayed a centerpiece of Jewish family life so thoroughly, and so earnestly. “You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah” shows Stacy practicing her Torah portion; agonizing over her “mitzvah project,” a service initiative that many congregations encourage; and meeting with her hipster, often-on-the-treadmill rabbi, played by comedian Sarah Sherman. (The movie, directed by Sammi Cohen and written by Allison Peck, filmed in part at a real Toronto Conservative synagogue, Beth Tzedec.)

For Stacy, Lydia and their friends, the point of the milestone is the party. The movie explores the intense pressure that families, especially in affluent communities, can face to throw the best-ever bash. Bar and bat mitzvah parties in the United States can cost between $10,000 and $40,000, or upwards of $100,000 for families in New York City and Los Angeles, according to The Bash, an event-planning platform — though the price tag can easily rise higher for families that choose pricey venues and entertainment. One 2015 celebration in New Jersey that featured teen idol Nick Jonas reportedly topped $1 million.

Sandler’s character battles back against the pressure. After Stacy demands a private yacht on the Hudson River and pop star Olivia Rodrigo on a jet ski, her father responds: “When I got bar mitzvahed, we had a party in Grandma’s basement. We all split this giant matzo ball. That was the fun. You know what the theme was? Being Jewish!”

One coming-of-age party in particular fueled the crew’s imagination: star Sunny Sandler’s real-life bat mitzvah, which took place in Los Angeles just a few months before the film started shooting. Blake attended the ceremony and the celebration along with Cohen and Peck.

“That was Adam Sandler’s daughter, so it was pretty over-the-top, too,” said Blake.

The event was notable not only for its famous attendees, including Jennifer Aniston, a close family friend, and Jewish director Judd Apatow, who is Sandler’s former roommate. Like the fictional party at the climax of the film, Sunny Sandler’s bat mitzvah was Candyland-themed. Blake took photos of its impressive candy buffet and pink-and-purple color scheme, which directly inspired the movie set.

The crew worked with Heather Glowinsky, the proprietor of Rockpaper Events in Toronto, to sample other glitzy celebrations. But though the crew had fun building elaborate party scenes, they said they also sought to convey the significance of a ritual that unites Jewish families.

“The coolest thing was just seeing that it’s so much about family,” Blake said. “Just seeing the old grandma table with one kid there, or the parents all hanging out and they just know each other, and all the kids know each other from going to Hebrew school.”

Altschul, who has a Jewish father but did not have a bat mitzvah celebration herself, said the bar-and-bat-mitzvah-crashing season made her rethink her own connection to Jewish tradition.

“I realized how much I know about being Jewish,” she said. “I really didn’t consider myself so Jewish, and then I realized that my grandma and my dad had actually instilled so many things in me. So that was a nice discovery.”


The post How Adam Sandler’s ‘You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah’ drew on real-life Jewish celebrations appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.

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Marco Rubio Says US Denying Visas to Foreigners ‘Celebrating’ Assassination of Charlie Kirk

Marco Rubio speaks after he is sworn in as Secretary of State by US Vice President JD Vance at the Eisenhower Executive Office Building in Washington, DC, Jan. 21, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque

Secretary of State Marco Rubio said Monday that the US is denying visas to foreigners who publicly celebrate the killing of conservative activist Charlie Kirk, a move he cast as part of a broader posture against extremist rhetoric.

While traveling in the Middle East, Rubio told reporters that the State Department has been denying visas to individuals glorifying Kirk’s murder online. He added that officials are also reviewing existing visas and that he expects some to be revoked.

“It isn’t just about Charlie Kirk. If you’re a foreigner and you’re out there celebrating the assassination of someone who was speaking somewhere, I mean, we don’t want you in the country,” Rubio said. “Why would we want to give a visa to someone who think it’s good that someone was murdered in the public square? That’s just common sense to me.”

When asked if the US has actually revoked any visas yet, Rubio responded, “We’ve revoked visas of people. I don’t know if we’ve revoked visas of people that are inside the country. We’ve most certainly been denying visas.”

Rubio also addressed the issue in a social media post on X while sharing a video from a Fox News interview during which he was asked if he planned to restrict visa access or revoke visas for those celebrating Kirk’s killing.

“America will not host foreigners who celebrate the death of our fellow citizens,” Rubio said in the post accompanying the video. “Visa revocations are under way. If you are here on a visa and cheering on the public assassination of a political figure, prepare to be deported. You are not welcome in this country.”

Kirk, a prominent conservative activist and founder of the influential Turning Point USA organization, was shot and killed last week while speaking at Utah Valley University. Authorities have formally charged 22‑year‑old Tyler Robinson of Utah with aggravated murder and several related offenses, including discharge of a firearm, obstruction of justice, and witness tampering.

Rubio’s announcement comes amid intensifying efforts by the Trump administration to expel foreigners who express support for violence or terrorism. The administration has launched an overhaul of the US visa system, part of what officials describe as an effort to root out individuals deemed a potential threat to the country. The sweeping measures include expanded social media vetting for new applicants, continuous monitoring of the 55 million current visa holders, and the revocation of thousands of student visas.

Several of the online posts praising Kirk’s assassination have emerged from the Middle East, with individuals condemning the slain political activist over his vocal support for Israel. During his life, Kirk repeatedly spoke in defense of the Jewish state and expressed support for its military campaign in Gaza.

Deputy Secretary of State Christopher Landau concurred with Rubio’s statement, calling on consular officials to prevent the distribution of visas to anyone “praising, rationalizing, or making light of” the murder of Kirk.

Rubio has not explained the standards the State Department is using to determine what qualifies as “celebrating” the assassination. Some critics have speculated that this ambiguity could set up legal challenges from advocacy groups, who are already warning about the First Amendment and due process implications.

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‘Down With Fascists’: Columbia Activist Who Said ‘Zionists Don’t Deserve to Live’ Celebrates Charlie Kirk’s Murder

Khymani James, Columbia University student who filmed himself saying Zionists should be murdered. Photo: Screenshot

A former leader of the anti-Israel movement at Columbia University expressed full support for the murder of conservative activist Charlie Kirk last week.

Khymani James, who made the posts, was a “campus a leader in the pro-Palestinian student protest encampment” at Columbia, according to The New York Times.

In the aftermath of Kirk’s assassination, James posted on X, “More. MORE!!!,” referencing the killing. He followed up that post by saying, “Down with all the fascists 😍.” (He later also called California Gov. Gavin Newsom a fascist.)

In another post, James wrote, “‘Be careful what you post’ and it’s people rightfully celebrating the inevitable and just fate of fascists. anywho… NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED 😩🤣.”

In addition to the posts he wrote, James also reposted statements such as “Thoughts and prayers for the bullet,” “rest in piss,” and “saw that s–t and started giggling and kicking my feet and shouting YOOOOOO.”

In James’s biography on the social platform X, he notes, “Anything I said, I meant it. DEATH TO EMPIRE.”

This is not the first time James has rhetorically supported violence. Last year, he was on video saying, “Zionists don’t deserve to live,” and proclaiming that people should “be grateful that I’m not just going out and murdering Zionists.”

He also said, “I don’t fight to injure or for there to be a winner or a loser. I fight to kill.”

The comments triggered widespread backlash, and James was suspended by Columbia. The incident also resulted in what was widely seen as an apology for James on behalf of Columbia University Apartheid Divest (CUAD), one of the most notorious anti-Israel campus groups in the US. Months later, however, the group retracted its previous apology.

“All CUAD organizers were complicit in not maintaining our political line, keeping the statement public on our Instagram, and in neglecting the mental and physical safety of Khymani,” the post read. CUAD apologized for causing “irrevocable harm” to him.

Despite James’s comments about the possibility of murdering Zionists, CUAD’s post claimed that he was criticized and socially ostracized for “fight[ing] back against state violence.”

James also responded to this post, writing on X, “Thank you to my comrades for posting this beautiful, powerful letter. I never wrote the neo-liberal apology posted in late April, and I’m glad we’ve set the record straight once and for all. I will not allow anyone to shame me for my politics.”

“Anything I said, I meant it,” he concluded.

Kirk, 31, was shot and killed during a speaking event at Utah Valley University, where he was engaging in dialogue with students. He is survived by his wife and two young children. A young Utah man — Tyler Robinson, 22 — was taken into custody last week as the suspected shooter, about 33 hours after the assassination, according to state and federal law enforcement.

Kirk was an outspoken supporter of Israel and advocate against antisemitism. He regularly debated students on the subject of Israel and brought his ideas to young people at a time when, according to recent polling, that age group was turning decidedly against the Jewish state.

“There’s a dark Jew hate out there, and I see it,” Kirk told a student during a podcast episode which aired earlier this year. “Don’t get yourself involved in that. I’m telling you it will rot your brain. It’s bad for your soul. It’s bad. It’s evil. I think it’s demonic.”

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Spain’s PM Sánchez Faces Backlash for Fueling Anti-Israel Hostility Amid Surge in Antisemitic Incidents

Cycling – Vuelta a Espana – Stage 21 – Alalpardo to Madrid – Madrid, Spain – Sept. 14, 2025: Barriers are smashed by anti-Israel protesters during Stage 21. Photo: REUTERS/Ana Beltran

Spanish Prime Minister Pedro Sánchez is facing backlash from his country’s political leaders and Jewish community, who accuse him of fueling antisemitic hostility after incidents at the Vuelta a España disrupted the prestigious cycling race.

Amid a sharp rise in anti-Jewish hate crimes and anti-Israel sentiment, Lorenzo Rodríguez, mayor of Castrillo Mota de Judíos in northern Spain, accused the country’s leader of “fueling a discourse of hatred” against Israel and the Jewish people.

“The government is fostering antisemitism that will prove deeply damaging for Spain,” Rodríguez said in an interview with the local outlet El Español.

“Sánchez’s moves are less about serious foreign policy and more about deflecting attention from his trials and failures in governance,” he continued. “Spain isn’t leading anything — it’s merely whitewashing Hamas and other terrorist groups.”

On Sunday, anti-Israel protests forced the finale of the Vuelta a España cycle race to be abandoned as police tried to quell demonstrations against the participation of an Israeli team.

In his interview, Rodríguez blamed Sánchez for fostering a hostile climate in Spain, saying the country is witnessing “hatred toward an entire people.”

He also criticized the Spanish leader for failing to take a strong stand on other international crises, including those in Russia and Venezuela.

“We all recognize that the Palestinian people are suffering, but the solution cannot be to blame the Jewish people,” Rodríguez said.

“People are afraid. There’s growing concern because our town was recently targeted,” he continued. “We are being singled out and threatened even though we have nothing to do with this war.”

Before the incidents on Sunday that led to the race’s cancellation, Sánchez expressed “admiration for the Spanish people mobilizing for just causes like Palestine” through their protests.

Madrid’s Mayor José Luis Martínez-Almeida strongly condemned Sánchez’s statement, accusing him of encouraging hostility and fueling tensions.

“The prime minister is directly responsible for this violence, as his statements this morning helped instigate the protests,” Martinez-Almeida said after the race was canceled.

“Today is the saddest day since I took office as mayor of this great city,” he continued.

Santiago Abascal, leader of the far-right Vox party, also criticized Sánchez’s remarks, accusing him of stoking division to maintain his hold on power.

“The psychopath has taken his militias to the streets,” Abascal wrote in a post on X. “He doesn’t care about Gaza. He doesn’t care about Spain. He doesn’t care about anything. But he wants violence in the streets to maintain power.”

Shortly after the incidents, the Federation of Jewish Communities of Spain (FCJE) publicly denounced the violence, urging authorities to respond quickly and decisively.

“Violence and intimidation have no place in a democratic society and cannot be excused under the guise of freedom of expression,” FCJE said in a statement.

“These violent demonstrations fuel hatred and contribute to a concerning rise in antisemitism in Spain, which we have been warning about over the past two years,” the statement read. “It is unacceptable that violence is justified on ideological grounds and hostility is directed toward the Jewish community”

Since the start of the war in Gaza, Spain has become one of Israel’s fiercest critics, a stance that has only intensified in recent months, coinciding with a shocking rise in antisemitic incidents targeting the local Jewish community — from violent assaults and vandalism to protests and legal actions.

On Monday, Sánchez called for Israel to be barred from international sports events after pro-Palestinian activists disrupted the finale of the Vuelta cycling race in chaotic scenes in Madrid.

“The sports organizations should ask whether it’s ethical for Israel to continue participating in international competitions. Why was Russia expelled after invading Ukraine, yet Israel is not expelled after the invasion of Gaza?” Sánchez said while speaking to members of his Socialist Party.

“Until the barbarity ends, neither Russia nor Israel should be allowed to participate in any international competition,” the Spanish leader continued.

Israeli Foreign Minister Gideon Saar condemned Sánchez’s remarks, labeling him “an antisemite and a liar.”

“Did Israel invade Gaza on Oct. 7th or did the Hamas terror state invade Israel and commit the worst massacre against the Jews since the Holocaust?” the top Israeli diplomat wrote in a post on X.

The Palestinian terrorist group Hamas started the war in Gaza on Oct. 7, 2023, when it led an invasion of southern Israel, murdered 1,200 people, and kidnapped 251 hostages while perpetrating widespread sexual violence against the Israeli people.

Israel responded with an ongoing military campaign aimed at freeing the hostages and dismantling Hamas’s military capabilities and political rule in Gaza.

As part of its anti-Israel campaign, Spain announced on Tuesday that it will boycott next year’s Eurovision Song Contest if Israel participates, citing the country’s military offensive against Hamas in the war-torn enclave.

Last week, Sánchez also unveiled new policies targeting Israel over the war in Gaza, including an arms embargo and a ban on certain Israeli goods.

The Spanish government announced it would bar entry to individuals involved in what it called a “genocide against Palestinians,” block Israel-bound ships and aircraft carrying weapons from Spanish ports and airspace, and enforce an embargo on products from Israeli communities in the West Bank.

In one of its latest attempts to curb Israel’s defensive campaign in Gaza, Spain has canceled a €700 million ($825 million) deal for Israeli-designed rocket launchers, as the government conducts a broader review to systematically phase out Israeli weapons and technology from its armed forces.

Saar has denounced Sánchez’s latest actions, accusing the government in Madrid of antisemitism and of pursuing an escalating anti-Israel campaign aimed at undermining the Jewish state on the international stage.

“The government of Spain is leading a hostile, anti-Israel line, marked by wild, hate-filled rhetoric,” Saar wrote in a post on X, accusing Sánchez’s “corrupt” administration of trying to “divert attention from grave corruption scandals.”

“The obsessive activism of the current Spanish government against Israel stands out in light of its ties with dark, tyrannical regimes — from Iran’s ayatollahs to [Nicolás] Maduro’s government in Venezuela,” the Israeli diplomat continued.

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