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How do teenagers fit Judaism into their after-school activities? Spoiler: Many don’t.
This article was produced as part of JTA’s Teen Journalism Fellowship, a program that works with teens across the world to report on issues that impact their lives.
(JTA) — When youth group leader Evan Shrier first started organizing events for his peers at Temple Kol Tikvah in Woodland Hills, California, he was excited to take on the leadership role. Two years later, he struggles to keep the spark alive in his work now that so few young people show up after their b’nai mitzvah.
“I got to watch it grow and watch 20-30 people, mostly high schoolers and some 8th graders, coming to events, and now it just hasn’t really been the same,” Shrier, 17, said. “We still try to put on really fun events, but it doesn’t feel very rewarding when there’s one person besides the board that comes to them.”
Shrier is experiencing what many religious leaders witness every year: a drop off of synagogue participation after b’nei mitzvah. As teens grow older, some struggle with making time for religious activities because their focus is pulled by sports and extracurricular activities that build their college resumes.
“When I apply to college for kinesiology and to be on the track team they’re going to look at my sports medicine and running team” experience, says Shrier. “They’re not going to look as much at Kol Tikvah.” While he still makes time for Kol Tikvah, he says he needs to prioritize activities that get him merit scholarships for college.
A 2016 report commissioned by the San Francisco-based Jim Joseph Foundation found that Jewish teens feel torn on how to balance their secular and non-secular activities, and more often choose to prioritize the former.
Most surveyed said that they don’t consider Jewish activities as chosen free time. Instead, they look at them as a meaningful third category between school obligations and fun pastimes. The students — between 12-and-a-half and 17 years of age — said that having Jewish friends impacted their involvement in Jewish activities.
The report also found that encouraging “cognitive competence” among teens is a key factor for engagement in Jewish activities. “They’re seeing the world around them, they’re building their identity, they’re developing values,” stated Rabbi David Kessel, former BBYO chief program officer, in the report. “And if we help them do so in a sophisticated and engaging way by providing these content-rich experiences, they will come and they will resonate with it.”
Many organizations are working hard to provide such “content-rich experiences.” For example, BBYO provides leadership training, community service and Jewish education for teens. The Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism funds the social justice program L’Taken for high schoolers across the United States, where they learn how to lobby senators and representatives in Washington, D.C. Another organization, Moving Traditions, teaches the importance of personal wellbeing, justice and caring relationships through a Jewish lens. The emphasis on leadership and tikkun olam — social justice — in these organizations bridges teen’s Jewish and secular interests through meaningful and “[non-]boring Jewish content,” said Kessel.
Kessel and the 2016 Jim Joseph study also suggest that teens are more likely to engage in Jewish activities that are compelling and add value to their lives. Said Shrier: “I carry myself through life a lot differently with the values I see in Judaism and that I’ve created for myself through my connection with Judaism. There’s a lot of things I do now that I wouldn’t do if I hadn’t connected with the temple, and I’m really happy that I do them.”
However, teens are involved in other enriching, secular activities that compete with Jewish extracurriculars, causing the teens to grapple with how to spend their limited time.
Ava Naiditch, 16, of Los Angeles, ranks soccer as her most important extracurricular. As a Reform Jew, she resonates with the youth group culture at her temple and wants to stay involved in activities such as confirmation, but has a life-long commitment to her sport. She says she can’t stop soccer now to make more time for her Jewish activities because it would feel like quitting and abandoning years of dedication and hard work.
Academic pursuits also pull teens’ attention away from synagogue. Orli Adamski, 15, from New York City, serves on the editorial board for jGirls+ Magazine, a publication for teen journalists, and may pursue writing in college. The magazine offered her professional, resume-building experience, which was her primary goal in joining. “It being a Jewish magazine was just a bonus,” Adamski said.
However, for some teens, pulling away from synagogue does not mean they cut themselves off from their Jewish community.
Julien Deculus hasn’t been active in the synagogue where he got bar mitzvahed seven years ago, but the 20-year-old is still close to friends he made at the Los Angeles temple.
“The relationships I fostered at temple extended outside temple youth groups so I did not feel like I was losing connection to the Kol Tikvah family,” he said.
The relationships teens develop at temples connect them more with Judaism than synagogue itself in some cases.
“I do care about Judaism but I care more about the connection and the friendships that come along with it,” said Nathan Gaffin, 16, a junior from Waltham, Massachusetts. “I can confidently say that if I didn’t have a lot of friends at my temple, I would not go as much, although I still do feel Judaism is very important.”
Gaffin co-founded the Jewish Student Union at his high school, where only about 30 out of 1,800 students are Jewish. “It’s very important to have that small, safe space where we can say what we want without feeling threatened, we can have fun, and make connections with people that are similar to us,” he said. Gaffin’s club addresses topics like antisemitism in pop culture and at school along with intersectionality within Judaism. He also makes sure there is time for light-hearted activities and just hanging out.
Gaffin dedicates a lot of his time to his tennis team, while also working as an assistant Hebrew school teacher at his synagogue, and on the board of his temple chapter of United Synagogue Youth. During the tennis season, Gaffin misses a lot of his Hebrew school classes, but says “he doesn’t feel like he’s missing out on too much,” but wishes he could make time for both.
Naiditch regrets not staying involved in Jewish activities because, like Gaffin, they provided a “safe place” where she felt comfortable discussing the prejudice Jews face. Especially with the recent backlash regarding rapper Kanye West’s antisemitic tweets, talk amongst ignorant teens has spread antisemitism around her school. She realizes how uncomfortable she feels and misses the connection she had at her synagogue. Naiditch wants to join her temple’s confirmation class, even though it conflicts with her Youth and Government meetings.
Making the time to engage in Jewish activities isn’t a big concern for Charlotte Saada. “If it weren’t for my parents’ connection to Judaism, I wouldn’t be as connected as I am,” says the 16-year-old from Los Angeles, whose family attends a Conservative synagogue.
She takes part in her family’s religious activities, like weekly Shabbat, but acknowledges that once she moves out and becomes more independent, she will likely not maintain her family’s traditions because she’s “too lazy” and would rather spend her time building her crocheting business.
Time management is a challenge for all young people, but Shrier, the youth group leader, won’t trade in his Jewish connection. “Even though I don’t have the time, I love the temple and the little time that I have to give I want to give,” he said.
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At Chabad Hanukkah party in California, hours after Bondi Beach massacre, joy defied grief’s shadow
PACIFIC PALISADES, CALIFORNIA – A familiar sight at public gatherings, especially Jewish ones — young men in Hasidic garb wrapping black leather tefillin straps around the arms of strangers — felt different here Sunday evening as Rabbi Shimon Goldberg helped Rick Entin fulfill the commandment at a Hanukkah block party in the Palisades. The mitzvahs of tefillin and lighting candles had become acts of defiance and joy as the gathering grieved the 15 people killed at a Chabad Hanukkah event in Sydney.
The attack cut deeply in the close-knit Chabad community, whose brand — and vulnerability — lies in the proud public practicing of Jewish rituals. Some of them were personally connected to Rabbi Eli Schlanger, the Chabad emissary who had organized the Sydney event, and died in the attack.
Yet they were celebrating Hanukkah on Sunday with a group that knew something about resilience: 11 months earlier, the Palisades fire tore through this area, destroying thousands of homes, including Entin’s just up the street. For many, the Hanukkah event was the first time they had been in Jewish community in the Palisades since the inferno. This was the occasion the Palisades Chabad — whose campus was damaged in the fire — had planned to commemorate, and from which its leaders would not be deterred.
“Whoever was strategizing this terrorist attack, they want the Jews not just in Sydney, but even in Los Angeles to fear showing up for a Hanukkah event,” said Goldberg, head of a local Chabad-affiliated nonprofit, as he placed a tefillin box atop Entin’s forehead. “This we won’t allow them to do.”
The 38th annual Palisades candlelighting was always going to be bittersweet; many there remained displaced by the fire, and some remain unsure whether they will rebuild. Jewish leaders who planned the event said they did not need to change the program due to the terrorist attack — it was already about celebration in the face of loss.
So, too, is Hanukkah, a holiday that tells of a miraculous jug of oil found amid great ruin. And both Chabad and Kehillat Israel, a Reconstructionist synagogue in the Pacific Palisades that co-sponsored the event, had, miraculously, found the spark on an otherwise gloomy day.
Overlooking the street that had been blocked off for the event were vacant lots where homes had stood a year earlier. But melancholy was hard to come by as one walked through the teeming masses at the event. Kids sat for glitter tattoos and balloon animals; lines snaked for latkes and jelly donuts and hot chocolate, all free. Old friends exchanging long-overdue hugs could be heard saying I’m so sorry about your house. On stage before the candlelighting, a gaggle of youngsters delivered a spirited rendition of “I’m a little latke.”
“It’s almost like the Maccabees,” said Chayim Frenkel, Kehillat Israel’s longtime cantor. “They went into the Temple, cleaned it up, found the menorah, found the oil. And surrounded by the rubble of what the Greeks did, we brought light and hope.”
The Palisades Chabad members in attendance were putting on a doubly brave face: The fire had damaged part of the school on the campus of Chabad of Pacific Palisades, according to Rabbi Zushe Cunin, its director. Classes have still not returned to the building.
“It’s been hard,” Cunin said. “So much trauma, a lot of people have not resolved things, their house, their insurance, their struggles. But Hanukkah is a time to rise above that. Tonight is about strengthening our resolve.”
Cunin’s son, Mordechai, was among the group channeling that resolve through tefillin. The mitzvah — which is required only of Jewish men — was one the late Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, the last Lubavitcher Rebbe, had implored his followers to promote in order to hasten the arrival of the Messiah. Mordechai and his yeshiva buddies reported having wrapped at least 10 men that day, including three first-time wearers.
It was not lost on the tefillin crew that Schlanger — whose nephew is Mordechai’s classmate — died doing what they were doing now — helping Jewish people from all walks of life connect to Judaism. But to Goldberg, that was only reason to lean in.
“When someone leaves this physical world, their soul is still there, but they can’t do mitzvos,” Goldberg said. “When we think of Rabbi Eli, we are his hands and feet. He can’t put on tefillin today — but we can put on tefillin for him.”
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In the fight against K-12 antisemitism, we are grateful for allies – but are not afraid to call out antisemitism when we see it
Recent articles in the Forward spotlighted important conversations around combating K-12 antisemitism that took place at the Jewish Federations of North America’s General Assembly, but missed critical distinctions about our commitment to working with partners throughout the K-12 space and our stance on teachers’ unions. In particular, they ignored the distinction between the two largest teachers’ unions in the US – the National Education Association (NEA) and the American Federation of Teachers (AFT).
Federations throughout North America work closely with educators and educational leadership. We are grateful to the many educators committed to doing right by their students and by the Jewish community, and to our many allies in the education space – including the AFT, led by Randi Weingarten, and its New York affiliate, the UFT, which recently partnered with the Jewish Community Relations Council of New York on a curriculum and training about Jewish Americans.
We are committed to ensuring teachers have access to the content and knowledge they need to accurately educate about Jewish communities, Israel and antisemitism and to provide safe learning environments for Jewish students. Increasingly, however, we also see instances of organizations and individuals encouraging teachers to use materials and trainings that seek to disconnect educators from those positive resources, or worse, to provide resources that harm Jewish students and foster classroom antisemitism.
Some union spaces have become toxic even for Jewish teachers. The recent debate at the NEA’s Representative Assembly about boycotting the ADL, as well as a union resource guide linking to a third-party source erasing Israel off the map and sympathizing with the Holocaust, were shocking. We are grateful that NEA leadership vetoed the boycott resolution and apologized for the link, but we are reminded of the need for vigilance and organizing so that this type of resource is not recommended – even inadvertently – to educators. We stand ready to work with the NEA to help ensure that biased and ultimately harmful teaching materials are legitimized.
Both nationally and at the local level, Federations are proud of the educational partnerships that make our schools better and stronger. We are grateful every day to the educators who teach our children and seek out accurate information and ways to teach critical thinking that enable the foundation of our future democracy – and our safety within it. We are eager for additional partners and partnerships. But at the same time, we will not stand by when antisemitism is enabled in the classroom.
Our commitment is to promote policies and actions that enable Jewish children and teachers to be safe in school and take pride in their identity, and to ensure that Jewish identity, culture and resilience are celebrated and accurately taught.
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Her daughter left the Bondi Beach Hanukkah celebration just before the shooting, then asked, ‘Mommy, why do they hate us so much?’
The daughter of an American expatriate living about two miles from the mass killing at a Hanukkah celebration in suburban Sydney, Australia, escaped the carnage by coming home to change clothes, her mother said.
“She’d been there earlier that afternoon, on the bridge where they were shooting. She came home, changed her clothes, and was getting ready to go again,” said Michelle Stein-Evers, a former Los Angeles resident and a co-founder of the Alliance of Black Jews in 1995.
“She and her friends were on their way back to Bondi to go to the party and have something to eat, and they were stopped by the police,” Stein-Evers said. “She found out why, and she started calling everyone to let us know. Her best friend’s cousin was killed. Another best friend’s cousin was shot in the leg.”
Her daughter, who is 22, had previously locked down her Facebook account out of privacy concerns and requested that her name not be used. As the massacre unfolded Sunday, she turned to social media to search for information.
“‘Oh my God, there’s bodies everywhere,’” Stein-Evers said her daughter told her.
She also asked where her father was, amid rumors — later proven untrue — that the neighborhood where he had gone to play tennis was also affected.
Stein-Evers said the events were unfolding within minutes of their home, where she was alone after her daughter headed back toward the beach.
“It was scary. It was nothing but sirens — sirens and sirens — and helicopters,” she said.
Stein-Evers said she knew the first victim publicly identified among the dead, Rabbi Eli Schlanger, who helped organize the celebration.
“He was, by consensus, one of the nicest guys in the Jewish community in Sydney,” she said.
Antisemitic incidents have been rising in Sydney and across Australia since the Hamas attack on Israel on Oct. 7, 2023, Stein-Evers said, adding that her daughter stopped attending the prestigious University of Sydney because of campus protests.
“She was constantly being heckled, asked, ‘Where are you from? Are you Jewish? Are you an Arab? Why aren’t you with us?’” Stein-Evers said. Her daughter would not respond to the questions and eventually enrolled in distance learning through a college in Melbourne.
Stein-Evers, who has lived in the Middle East — including in Muslim-majority countries — as well as Europe and the United States, said she now has concerns about her own safety.
“I was never scared to be a Jew in America. I was never scared in Germany,” she said — a fear she said is now shared by her daughter.
“When she came home last night, she was in tears,” Stein-Evers said. “‘Mommy, why do they hate us so much?’”
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