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I am a single rabbi without children. I shouldn’t be made to feel I am not ‘doing my part.’
(JTA) — I recently attended a bris in my community where the mohel announced to the new parents and the whole room, “Raising this child is the most important and impactful thing you will ever do.”
These words were offered to anchor the already exhausted and overwhelmed couple in the sanctity of the job they are embarking upon; the holiness of shaping a person into adulthood; the pride in doing something meaningful and lasting.
At the same time, these are the sentiments that form the foundation of parents’ guilt when they have to work or when they choose to be with friends and not their children. They create the basis of self-recrimination when a child struggles and the parent is made to feel they are to blame. They foment anxiety over not enjoying aspects of parenthood or feeling lonely or isolated in the endless exhaustion of rearing children.
These are also the words that shame those of us who have no children.
The year I turned 30, I was not on any identifiable path to parenthood. I was, however, in rabbinical school and deeply committed to the ways I could and would serve the Jewish people as a rabbi. Until rabbinical school, I experienced my own private grief about not having a partner or kids, but no one had ever imposed those feelings on me or pressured me on my timeline.
As part of a counseling course in rabbinical school, I was assigned a reading where I learned that 13.9% of married women ages 30-34 experience infertility (a percentage that only increases after 35). Thirty years later, the author who shared this data did so again at an all-school gathering, reminding us that women pursuing education were largely responsible for the decline in Jewish population, since the ideal age for a woman to get pregnant is 22. He added, in essence, “Don’t come crying to me when you finish your education and realize you missed your window.”
I was shocked by his callousness and also by the overt implication that delaying parenthood for the sake of education was damaging to the Jewish people — an assertion, overt and implied, reached by many Jewish social scientists, as others have pointed out. Apparently, nothing I could do as a rabbi would ever have the same impact on Jewish peoplehood and the Jewish future as producing babies above “replacement level.”
While the presentation surprised me, the idea that the ideal role of anyone with a uterus is to bear children is embedded in our scripture and liturgy. Even the way many of us have chosen to add women into the daily amidah prayer to make it more egalitarian attests to this role: Three times a day we chant, “magen Avraham u’foked Sarah,” that God is the one who shields Abraham and remembers Sarah. This line about remembering Sarah refers to the moment when God undid Sarah’s barrenness, giving her a child (Genesis 21:1). Every time we recite these prayers we are reifying the idea that a woman’s relationship with God is directly linked to her fertility.
According to the medieval sage Maimonides, “Whoever adds even one Jewish soul it is considered as creating an entire world.” How many times do I have to sit on a beit din, or rabbinical court, before the number of conversions I witness adds up to a child? How many weddings and b’nei mitzvah and tot Shabbats and hospital visits and adult education classes? This is math I should not have to do as a rabbi or as a woman. It is not math we should ask of anyone.
I know I am not alone among my peers in expressing frustration around such rhetoric. If we truly believe that a person’s value is derived from being created b’tzelem elohim, in the image of the Divine, then we need to demonstrate this in the ways we speak and teach about parenthood and fertility, celebrating the role and value of an individual within a community with no correlation to the number of children they raise, how they parent, or how those children connect to Judaism.
While there are plenty of sources in Jewish literature and a range of sociological data that offer all kinds of reasons that Jews should “be fruitful and multiply” — often expressed with urgency after the devastation of the Holocaust — the Torah, our most ancient and sacred text, also presents a model for what it means to be a person without a child who makes a tremendous impact on the Jewish future.
According to the most straightforward reading of the Torah, Miriam, the daughter of Yocheved, sister of Aaron and Moses, does not marry and does not bear children. And yet, Miriam played a crucial role in ensuring the possibility of a Jewish future. She was the sister who watched over Moses as he floated in a basket, the girl who connected Moses’ adoptive mother with his birth mother, and the prophet who led the women in joyous dancing when the Israelites finally attained freedom.
In a recent conversation, Rabbi Rachel Zerin of Beth El Temple in West Hartford, Connecticut, pointed out that what is powerful about Miriam is that she appears content with her life. Unlike most of the women we encounter in the Hebrew Bible who do not have children, we never see Miriam praying for a child; she is never described as barren or unfulfilled and yet she is instrumental in securing the Israelites’ — our — freedom.
Through this lens, we can understand that the Torah offers us many models of a relationship to parenthood: Some of us may yearn for it and ultimately find joy in it, some of us may experience ambivalence around bringing children into the world, some of us may encounter endless obstacles to conceive or adopt, some of us may struggle with parenting the children we have, some of us many not want to be parents at all, and some of us may experience all of these at different times.
Like Miriam who fearlessly added her voice to the public conversation, we, too, can add more voices to the conversation about Jewish continuity that counteract the relentless messaging that raising children into Jewish adulthood is the most consequential thing we might do.
Yes, parenting can be miraculous and beautiful, something we should continue to celebrate. But we each have so many gifts to offer the Jewish people — our communities just need to create space for all of us to contribute in a broad variety of ways, by making fewer assumptions and speaking about parenthood with more nuance, expansiveness and compassion.
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The post I am a single rabbi without children. I shouldn’t be made to feel I am not ‘doing my part.’ appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
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This year’s Hanukkah books serve up golems, holiday magic and dinosaurs
(JTA) — From a mischievous clay golem to a ring-tailed lemur who refuses to taste a latke, this year’s crop of Hanukkah books offers something to delight young readers of all ages.
The new titles range from lighthearted tales of family celebrations to the poignant, timely story of the Jews of Mariupol, Ukraine and the miraculous survival of the city’s menorah. Families across the diverse Jewish spectrum will find something to enjoy.
“Applesauce on Top”
Lina Schwarz; illustrated by Yuko Jones
PJ Library; ages 6 months–2
In this sweet rhyming board book, a little boy and his grandmother cook latkes and applesauce, counting apples and potatoes as they get ready to celebrate Hanukkah with their family. This new title from PJ Library will be distributed to 1-year-olds.
“I Will NOT Eat Latkes!”
Martha Seif Simpson; illustrated by Lisa Hunt
Apples & Honey Press; ages 4–6
In this lighthearted story, two animal pals celebrate Hanukkah together. Nosh, a koala, tries to persuade Potchky, a ring-tailed lemur, to taste a fried latke. Potchky, in a nod to Dr. Seuss’s “Green Eggs and Ham,” refuses, declaring that he only likes potato chips. As the story unfolds, kids hear the story of Hanukkah and the brave Maccabees. Finally, Potchky finds his courage and takes a bite — and loves the latkes.
“Charley and Seymour’s Hanukkah Miracle”
Melody Howard Ritt; illustrated by Nia Gould
Kar-Ben Publishing; ages 4–8
In this fun-filled Hanukkah tale, best friends Charley Chipmunk and Seymour Squirrel love their tradition of celebrating Hanukkah together. Seymour fries the latkes and asks Charley to bring the menorah and candles. But uh-oh: Charley remembers the menorah but forgets the candles. His backpack overflows with all kinds of things that begin with the letter “c,” even cantaloupe. But no candles. Seymour comes to the rescue, using the oil from frying latkes to kindle the menorah — just like in the Hanukkah story. This delightful book is now available in paperback through PJ Library.
“Hanukkah Night at the Construction Site”
Sherri Mandell; illustrated by Viviana Garofoli
Apples & Honey Press; ages 2–3
Toddlers who love trucks will be gleeful when the Hanukkah truck rolls into town in this latest addition to the popular Construction Site series. The entourage includes a large tractor carrying a large clay menorah, a mixer and excavator that serve latkes, chocolate coins, fried jelly doughnuts and gifts, and even a band. The back pages list all the types of trucks.
“Hear Me Roar! I’m a HANUKKAHsaur”
Naomi Gruer; illustrated by Mel Zohar
Kalaniot Books; ages 4–7
Miles is a young dinosaur enthusiast. On the first night of Hanukkah, his family doesn’t have the party Miles had hoped for, but he’s excited to put on his bright green dinosaur costume and roar as loudly as he can. Each night, Miles the dinosaur tries to help celebrate Hanukkah. When things go wrong and he makes a mess in the kitchen or drops things, his family encourages him to try again. On the last night, to his delight, his family throws a big Hanukkah party, with latkes, storytelling and sufganiyot, and all his friends. Zohar’s illustrations portray a diverse, multicultural celebration, including a child in a wheelchair.
“Harriet Hubbard and the Sold Out Hanukkah”
Bonnie Grubman; illustrated by Noa Kelner
Kar-Ben Publishing; ages 2–8
In this zany rhyming adventure, feisty Harriet sets out to her local market to buy all the fixings for a Hanukkah party. But all the shelves are bare — no potatoes for latkes, no chocolate gelt and no sufganiyot. She goes home disappointed but eager to set her table with some dates and raisins. To her surprise, her diverse group of friends arrives bearing everything needed for a festive Hanukkah party, including latkes and sweets. They sing and dance under the glow of the Hanukkah menorah.
“Mrs. Claus’s Noodle Kugel”
Janie Emaus; illustrated by Bryan Langdo
Sky Pony Publishing; ages 3–8
Interfaith families will welcome this addition to their family’s library. Two friends, Anna and Michael, get a letter from Mrs. Claus saying that Santa loved their latkes last Hanukkah and asking them to send the recipe. But the two sets of grandfathers have a different idea, each urging their grandkids to cook the other grandfather’s recipe — one for noodle kugel and one for Italian fettuccine noodles. The magical Mrs. Claus arrives on the scene, creating mayhem in the kitchen, with noodles flying out of the pot and Yiddish expressions sprinkled throughout. A team of elves gets things in order, and the sweet noodle kugel is a success. Kids will laugh out loud.
“Golem, Golem, Golem: Or How Hanukkah Was Saved”
Richard Ho; illustrated by Carmel Ben Ami
Roaring Brook Press; ages 3–6
A young boy turns his clay dreidel into a clay golem, the ancient Jewish mythical figure who acts as the Jews’protector when it isn’t getting into trouble. This boy’s golem causes more good-natured mischief, making a mess and eating all the Hanukkah treats. But trouble strikes when the golem accidentally breaks the family’s beautiful menorah. In a magical turn of events, the golem finds a way to make things right — and disappears. The family celebrates under the glow of their menorah. Lively illustrations depict a multicultural family.
“The Miracle Menorah of Mariupol”
Nancy Churnin; illustrated by Marissa Moss
Creston Books LLC; ages 7–11
In this true, poignant story set in modern-day Ukraine, we learn that for years the Jews of Mariupol gathered outdoors around the synagogue’s glistening golden menorah to retell the story of Hanukkah and the miracle of the oil. In the spring of 2022, to everyone’s horror, the beloved tradition came to an end with the Russian invasion. Andrei, a brave young boy, discovered that while the synagogue was destroyed in the bombing, the menorah had miraculously survived. Andrei cleaned the soot off the menorah and contacted the rabbi, who was in Israel for medical treatment. With the rabbi’s encouragement, Andrei gathered the city’s Jews who had not fled. Together, they lit the menorah, sang the blessings and found a deeper meaning in the Hanukkah miracle. At the book’s end, Rabbi Mendel Cohen recalls the tragic events and expresses gratitude for the young boy’s courage.
“Sharing the Light: A Hanukkah Story”
Jodie Sadowsky; photography by Alejandra Martinez
Lovery, Inc. ages 1 and up
Wren and her younger brother Rory discover ways to celebrate Hanukkah together, despite some light-hearted sibling rivalry. They cook a family recipe for latkes and enjoy a festive holiday.
This article originally appeared on JTA.org.
The post This year’s Hanukkah books serve up golems, holiday magic and dinosaurs appeared first on The Forward.
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Conservative Jewish groups hail Stephen Miller’s appointment to White House chief of staff
(JTA) — Right-leaning pro-Israel groups hailed President Donald Trump’s appointment of Stephen Miller as the next White House chief of staff, welcoming the Jewish aide’s appointment as a safeguard against antisemitism in an era marked by an increase in attacks on Jews and Israel. Liberal Jewish groups expressed alarm, saying his hardline politics endangered the community.
In a letter congratulating Miller, groups including the Combat Antisemitism Movement, the Louis D. Brandeis Center for Human Rights Under Law, the Zionist Organization of America expressed an interest in working with Miller to “hold institutions accountable when they fail to protect Jewish Americans from discrimination and harassment.”
The writers, who also included the American Association of Jewish Lawyers and Jurists, the Coalition for Jewish Values and the Israeli-American Civic Action Network, described Miller’s appointment as “a meaningful reflection of the longstanding contributions of Jewish Americans to public service.”
Just days after the Republican Party incurred massive losses in the midterm elections, Trump announced that he was replacing former chief of staff Susie Wiles with Miller, who had previously served as her deputy. In a Truth Social post, he described Miller as one of his “most trusted advisors.”
The chief of staff holds one of the most powerful White House positions, acting as a gatekeeper to the president and helping to shape his daily agenda.
Liberal Jewish voices warned that Trump’s promotion of Stephen Miller to the role of White House chief of staff could make Jewish communities more vulnerable.
“We expect this appointment to only reinforce some of the most dangerous ways the administration has normalized antisemitism and broader extremism,” Amy Spitalnick, CEO of the Jewish Council for Public Affairs, told the Jewish Telegraphic Agency, noting Miller’s embrace of anti-immigrant rhetoric popular on the far right.
Spitalnick said there is a throughline between the hard-line immigration policies Miller has shaped as a longtime confidant to Trump and the flourishing of antisemitism in recent years.
“At the core of the anti-immigrant agenda Miller has spearheaded are deeply antisemitic conspiracy theories about ‘replacement’ and ‘invasion’ that have already fueled a cycle of deadly violence targeting Jews and others,” she said.
The dueling sentiments from across the Jewish political spectrum were a signal of how divided the community has become during the second Trump term over the best means of combating antisemitism: Through aggressive policing of elite institutions, which Trump favors, or through opposition to what liberal groups say is the president’s systematic corrosion of civil rights protections.
The groups on the right that welcomed Miller’s appointment have generally been pleased by the steps Trump has taken to counter antisemitism on the left. In January 2025, Trump issued an executive order requiring new measures for combatting antisemitism. The Justice Department then launched a multi-agency Task Force to Combat Anti-Semitism. This past May, the department announced the formation of an Advisory Committee on Anti-Semitism, while emphasizing a “commitment to protecting Americans from unlawful discrimination and antisemitic threats.” Much of the focus has been on allegations of antisemitic harassment on university campuses.
While it’s unclear what Miller will do on these specific issues, his supporters see his key role as likely to strengthen such efforts.
Miller has longstanding links to Trump, including on a personal level. Miller’s wedding officiant at the Trump D.C. hotel was Rabbi Aryeh Lightstone, who was involved with the administration’s Abraham Accords to establish peaceful relations between Israel and several Arab neighbors.
But Miller’s critics have pointed out that he, along with Trump and other top Republicans have embraced troubling conspiracy theories that can be linked to Jews. Namely, that Democrats want to flood America with immigrants who are likely to vote against Republicans. At Trump’s October 2024 campaign rally at Madison Square Garden, Miller declared, “America is for Americans and Americans only.”
A more extreme version of the conspiracy theory, which blames Jews for organizing an “invasion” of people of color to replace whites, fueled a number of deadly attacks over the past decade, including the massacre at the Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh in 2018.
The White House press office, which fields media communications for the chief of staff, did not respond to requests for comment.
Spitalnick also slammed the current administration for failing to “protect the civil rights of Jewish – and all – people,” by rolling back programs aimed at countering hate, including at the Office for Civil Rights in the Department of Education and extremism prevention programs at the Department of Homeland Security.
Spitalnick also referred to a 2019 letter sent by Jewish Democratic members of Congress urging Trump to dismiss Miller, who was his senior adviser at the time. The lawmakers argued that his “support for white nationalist and virulently anti-immigrant tropes is wholly unacceptable and disqualifying for a government employee.”
Regarding the current appointment, Spitalnick warned that Miller’s role could “make Jewish and so many other vulnerable communities less safe, instead of advancing the civil rights and pro-democracy policies we know are inherent to our security.”
“As the president and vice president are now seemingly pinning the U.S. election results on Israel, we should be concerned about further scapegoating of the Jewish and Israeli American communities,” she added.
The liberal pro-Israel lobby J Street, meanwhile, posted a Haaretz analysis that likened Miller to Itamar Ben-Gvir, a far-right minister in Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s coalition known for his extreme nationalistic rhetoric.
“Stephen Miller and Itamar Ben-Gvir both owe their prominence and access to power to their enablers – Trump and Netanyahu – and both traffic in racism and nativism to attempt to build power and incite fear,” the J Street post stated.
Robert Reich, U.S. secretary of labor in the Clinton administration, wrote in a Facebook post that Miller’s appointment was “not a positive development for anyone interested in mending our government or healing our nation.” Reich, who is Jewish and also served in the Ford and Carter administrations, expressed concern that Miller would have outsized influence on the president’s decisions.
“Miller is bigoted, xenophobic, and vicious — the architect and chief advocate of Trump’s loathsome immigration policy,” Reich stated, accusing him of conducting a “brutal Kristallnacht against undocumented immigrants.” Kristallnacht refers to the wave of deadly anti-Jewish violence in parts of Nazi-occupied Europe in 1938.
Katie Miller, who is also Jewish and married to Stephen Miller, defended her husband this weekend, after Michigan Democratic Sen.-elect Abdul El-Sayed called him a “broken man” on ABC’s “This Week with George Stephanopoulos.”
“Stephen has contributed far more to America at 41 than Abdul El-Sayed will in a lifetime,” she wrote on X, alongside a photo of Miller running around with their children.
This article originally appeared on JTA.org.
The post Conservative Jewish groups hail Stephen Miller’s appointment to White House chief of staff appeared first on The Forward.
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This David Schwimmer sweater ad is playing on ‘Friends’ nostalgia. So why are commenters talking about Israel?
David Schwimmer, who played Ross on Friends, is tapping into some late ’90s and early 2000s nostalgia as the star in an ad this week marketing his “dream sweater” for Quince, a clothing and home goods store.
In the ad, Schwimmer, who is Jewish, sketches the perfect red sweater in a notebook while he sits in Central Park and then begins to see it on everyone: a man riding an electric scooter, an angry taxi driver who almost runs into him, a beautiful woman riding in the back of the taxi, even a dog.
The gag is a reference to the Friends episode “The One with the Red Sweater,” where Ross’ on-again-off-again girlfriend Rachel is pregnant and has not told the father, whose identity is a mystery to the group; Joey, Monica and Phoebe know that the father left a red sweater at the apartment, so when Ross stops by and is relieved to find his sweater, they figure out he’s the dad-to-be.
“I’ve been looking for this for like a month,” he says, just after making a reference to the Yiddish-named snack, Mashuga Nuts.
The episode and the ad are apolitical. So why then are some people planning to cancel their Quince orders and boycott the company?
Schwimmer, many of the commenters on the ad are saying, is a Zionist.
“I don’t approve of you featuring a Zio in your ad,” one Instagram user commented. “Please do better.”
Schwimmer on Israel, antisemitism
Schwimmer has been outspoken about antisemitism since long before the Oct. 7 Hamas attacks on Israel and the ensuing war in Gaza. Over the course of his career, he’s spoken at multiple Anti-Defamation League events and called for other people to stand against hate, routinely saying, “Silence is complicity.”
The actor appears to have never explicitly identified as a Zionist, and his statements have focused more on galvanizing support for Jews and Israelis — rather than on the Jewish state. But this is of little importance to his critics.
His relationship with the ADL, a staunchly pro-Israel organization, is damning enough for some. Schwimmer also starred in an Israeli commercial for Meitav, an investment management company. The move puts him at odds with the growing Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions campaign, which stands against any financial relationship with Israel or Israeli companies.
After Oct. 7, Schwimmer put out a statement calling the Hamas attack an “atrocity” and a “genocide,” adding that any attempt to justify what happened is “indefensible and antisemitic.” In the same statement, he also touched on Palestinian suffering:
“One can condemn Hamas and still object to the Israeli government’s policies regarding the occupation (as many Israelis do), still believe in the Palestinian people’s right to self-determination, and still mourn the loss of Palestinian civilians and the current destruction of their homes, schools, hospitals and places of worship.”
He’s also been vocal about sexual violence that occurred on Oct. 7, sharing the controversial New York Times piece headlined “Screams Without Words,” that investigated allegations of sexual assault committed by Hamas during the attack. Critics of the piece have questioned the validity of the reporting and argued that one of its reporters is biased toward Israel. The Times has stood by the piece.
Additionally, Schwimmer has criticized universities’ responses to pro-Palestinian protests on campuses that he said have veered into antisemitism.
Schwimmer spoke at a 2025 ADL summit about the backlash he’s gotten for his advocacy, noting that while he’s been “attacked” and “abandoned,” he’s found deep meaning in speaking out and has no plans to stop. He concluded his speech calling on fellow celebrities to do the same.
“You don’t have to say anything political,” Schwimmer said. “No one is asking you to solve the conflict in the Middle East. Just say that you stand with your Jewish friends, colleagues and neighbors against hatred and discrimination.”
The controversy isn’t bothering Quince.
“We’ve seen more than 8 million views across our social channels in the first 48 hours, alongside international press coverage and recognition from the marketing community for the creative,” said Dakota Isaacs, head of brand strategy and narrative, in an email to the Forward. “It’s been especially rewarding to see fans connect with the humor and nostalgia while discovering Quince.”
The post This David Schwimmer sweater ad is playing on ‘Friends’ nostalgia. So why are commenters talking about Israel? appeared first on The Forward.
