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I am a single rabbi without children. I shouldn’t be made to feel I am not ‘doing my part.’
(JTA) — I recently attended a bris in my community where the mohel announced to the new parents and the whole room, “Raising this child is the most important and impactful thing you will ever do.”
These words were offered to anchor the already exhausted and overwhelmed couple in the sanctity of the job they are embarking upon; the holiness of shaping a person into adulthood; the pride in doing something meaningful and lasting.
At the same time, these are the sentiments that form the foundation of parents’ guilt when they have to work or when they choose to be with friends and not their children. They create the basis of self-recrimination when a child struggles and the parent is made to feel they are to blame. They foment anxiety over not enjoying aspects of parenthood or feeling lonely or isolated in the endless exhaustion of rearing children.
These are also the words that shame those of us who have no children.
The year I turned 30, I was not on any identifiable path to parenthood. I was, however, in rabbinical school and deeply committed to the ways I could and would serve the Jewish people as a rabbi. Until rabbinical school, I experienced my own private grief about not having a partner or kids, but no one had ever imposed those feelings on me or pressured me on my timeline.
As part of a counseling course in rabbinical school, I was assigned a reading where I learned that 13.9% of married women ages 30-34 experience infertility (a percentage that only increases after 35). Thirty years later, the author who shared this data did so again at an all-school gathering, reminding us that women pursuing education were largely responsible for the decline in Jewish population, since the ideal age for a woman to get pregnant is 22. He added, in essence, “Don’t come crying to me when you finish your education and realize you missed your window.”
I was shocked by his callousness and also by the overt implication that delaying parenthood for the sake of education was damaging to the Jewish people — an assertion, overt and implied, reached by many Jewish social scientists, as others have pointed out. Apparently, nothing I could do as a rabbi would ever have the same impact on Jewish peoplehood and the Jewish future as producing babies above “replacement level.”
While the presentation surprised me, the idea that the ideal role of anyone with a uterus is to bear children is embedded in our scripture and liturgy. Even the way many of us have chosen to add women into the daily amidah prayer to make it more egalitarian attests to this role: Three times a day we chant, “magen Avraham u’foked Sarah,” that God is the one who shields Abraham and remembers Sarah. This line about remembering Sarah refers to the moment when God undid Sarah’s barrenness, giving her a child (Genesis 21:1). Every time we recite these prayers we are reifying the idea that a woman’s relationship with God is directly linked to her fertility.
According to the medieval sage Maimonides, “Whoever adds even one Jewish soul it is considered as creating an entire world.” How many times do I have to sit on a beit din, or rabbinical court, before the number of conversions I witness adds up to a child? How many weddings and b’nei mitzvah and tot Shabbats and hospital visits and adult education classes? This is math I should not have to do as a rabbi or as a woman. It is not math we should ask of anyone.
I know I am not alone among my peers in expressing frustration around such rhetoric. If we truly believe that a person’s value is derived from being created b’tzelem elohim, in the image of the Divine, then we need to demonstrate this in the ways we speak and teach about parenthood and fertility, celebrating the role and value of an individual within a community with no correlation to the number of children they raise, how they parent, or how those children connect to Judaism.
While there are plenty of sources in Jewish literature and a range of sociological data that offer all kinds of reasons that Jews should “be fruitful and multiply” — often expressed with urgency after the devastation of the Holocaust — the Torah, our most ancient and sacred text, also presents a model for what it means to be a person without a child who makes a tremendous impact on the Jewish future.
According to the most straightforward reading of the Torah, Miriam, the daughter of Yocheved, sister of Aaron and Moses, does not marry and does not bear children. And yet, Miriam played a crucial role in ensuring the possibility of a Jewish future. She was the sister who watched over Moses as he floated in a basket, the girl who connected Moses’ adoptive mother with his birth mother, and the prophet who led the women in joyous dancing when the Israelites finally attained freedom.
In a recent conversation, Rabbi Rachel Zerin of Beth El Temple in West Hartford, Connecticut, pointed out that what is powerful about Miriam is that she appears content with her life. Unlike most of the women we encounter in the Hebrew Bible who do not have children, we never see Miriam praying for a child; she is never described as barren or unfulfilled and yet she is instrumental in securing the Israelites’ — our — freedom.
Through this lens, we can understand that the Torah offers us many models of a relationship to parenthood: Some of us may yearn for it and ultimately find joy in it, some of us may experience ambivalence around bringing children into the world, some of us may encounter endless obstacles to conceive or adopt, some of us may struggle with parenting the children we have, some of us many not want to be parents at all, and some of us may experience all of these at different times.
Like Miriam who fearlessly added her voice to the public conversation, we, too, can add more voices to the conversation about Jewish continuity that counteract the relentless messaging that raising children into Jewish adulthood is the most consequential thing we might do.
Yes, parenting can be miraculous and beautiful, something we should continue to celebrate. But we each have so many gifts to offer the Jewish people — our communities just need to create space for all of us to contribute in a broad variety of ways, by making fewer assumptions and speaking about parenthood with more nuance, expansiveness and compassion.
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Deal With US Within Reach ‘Only if Diplomacy Is Given Priority,’ Iran’s Foreign Minister Says
Iranian Foreign Minister Abbas Araqchi speaks during a press conference following talks with Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov in Moscow, Russia, Dec. 17, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Ramil Sitdikov/Pool
Iran‘s Foreign Minister Abbas Araqchi said on Tuesday that a deal with the US was “within reach, but only if diplomacy is given priority,” days ahead of an expected fresh round of talks between the two sides in Geneva.
The talks are set to take place on Thursday in Geneva, a senior US official said on Monday, with US envoys Steve Witkoff and Jared Kushner slated to meet with an Iranian delegation for the negotiations.
The two countries resumed negotiations earlier this month as the US builds up its military capability in the Middle East. Iran has threatened to strike US bases in the region if it is attacked.
“We have a historic opportunity to strike an unprecedented agreement that addresses mutual concerns and achieves mutual interests,” Araqchi said in a post on X.
The Iranian top diplomat said his country would resume the talks with “a determination to achieve a fair and equitable deal in the shortest possible time.”
Earlier, Iranian Deputy Foreign Minister Majid Takht-Ravanchi said Iran was ready to take all necessary steps to reach a deal with the United States.
“We are ready to reach an agreement as soon as possible. We will do whatever it takes to make this happen. We will enter the negotiating room in Geneva with complete honesty and good faith,” Takht-Ravanchi said in comments carried by state media.
White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt said on Tuesday that US President Donald Trump’s “first option” was always diplomacy but that he was “willing to use lethal force” if necessary.
“The president is always the final decision maker around here,” she told reporters at the White House.
A senior Iranian official told Reuters on Sunday that Tehran would seriously consider a combination of sending half of its most highly enriched uranium abroad, diluting the rest, and taking part in creating a regional enrichment consortium – an idea periodically raised during years of Iran-linked diplomacy.
Iran would do this in return for US recognition of Iran‘s right to “peaceful nuclear enrichment” under a deal that would also include lifting economic sanctions, the official said.
“If there is an attack or aggression against Iran, we will respond according to our defense plans … A US attack on Iran is a real gamble,” Takht-Ravanchi added.
Indirect talks between the two sides last year brought no agreement, primarily due to friction over a US demand that Iran forgo uranium enrichment on its soil, which Washington views as a pathway to a nuclear bomb.
Iran has always denied seeking such weapons.
The US joined Israel in hitting Iranian nuclear sites last June, effectively curtailing Iran‘s uranium enrichment, with Trump saying its key nuclear sites were “obliterated.” But Iran is still believed to possess stockpiles enriched previously, which Washington wants it to relinquish.
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Australia Begins Inquiry Into Antisemitism After Bondi Shooting
An Australian flag sits amongst floral tributes honoring the victims of a shooting at Jewish holiday celebration on Sunday at Bondi Beach, in Sydney, Australia, Dec. 16, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Hollie Adams
Australia on Tuesday opened a government-backed inquiry into antisemitism, after a mass shooting at a Jewish event at Bondi Beach killed 15 people in December 2025.
The attack at a Jewish Hanukkah celebration shocked a country with strict gun laws and fueled calls for tougher controls and stronger action against antisemitism.
The Royal Commission, the most powerful type of government inquiry in Australia which can compel people to give evidence, will be led by retired judge Virginia Bell.
It will consider the events of the shooting as well as antisemitism and social cohesion in Australia, and is expected to report its findings by December this year.
In her opening statement at a court in Sydney on Tuesday, Bell said security arrangements for the event would form a major part of the commission.
“The commission needs to investigate the security arrangements for that event, and to report on whether our intelligence and law enforcement agencies performed to maximum effectiveness,” Bell said.
Police say the alleged gunmen, Sajid Akram and his son Naveed Akram, were inspired by Islamic State.
Sajid Akram was shot dead by police at the scene, while Naveed Akram, who was also shot but survived, is currently facing charges including 15 counts of murder and a terror offense.
INQUIRY SCOPE LIMITED
Due to the ongoing legal proceedings, no potential witnesses in Akram’s trial will be called to give evidence to the commission, Bell said.
Bell said she plans to meet with victims’ families in private to explain some of the limitations of her inquiry.
Richard Lancaster, the top lawyer assisting Bell with the inquiry, said his team had sent dozens of requests to government and other agencies to produce documentary evidence, but the level of responses is “not presently where we would like it to be.”
There was no testimony heard or evidence given on Tuesday, and the commission is yet to determine when it will next sit.
Michele Goldman, CEO of the New South Wales Jewish Board of Deputies, said after the hearing that the inquiry would be an opportunity to showcase the community’s “horrific” experiences of antisemitism.
But some people directly impacted by the attack would find it “very hard” to be barred from sharing their accounts with the inquiry, she said.
Prime Minister Anthony Albanese had initially resisted calls to set up a Royal Commission, saying the process would take years, which attracted criticism from Jewish groups and victims’ families.
The Bondi attack followed a spate of antisemitic incidents in the country, including the firebombing of a Melbourne synagogue.
The government has already responded by tightening gun laws and introducing new legislation against hate speech.
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Iran Issues Death Sentence Linked to January Protests, Source Says
A February 2023 protest in Washington, DC calling for an end to executions and human rights violations in Iran. Photo: Reuters/ Bryan Olin Dozier
A revolutionary court in Tehran has issued a death sentence for an Iranian man accused of “enmity against god,” which if confirmed would be the first such sentence linked to mass protests in January, a source close to the man’s family said.
The source told Reuters on Tuesday that Iran‘s judiciary had not yet announced the sentence against the man, Mohammad Abbasi, and that Iran‘s Supreme Court was yet to uphold it.
Abbasi was accused of killing a security officer, an allegation his family denied, the source said.
Rights groups say thousands of people were killed in a crackdown on the protests, the worst domestic unrest in Iran since the era of its 1979 Islamic Revolution.
During the unrest, US President Donald Trump warned Tehran that he could order military action if it carried out executions.
The source said the defendant’s daughter, Fatemeh Abbasi, was handed a 25-year prison sentence over her role in protests.
“The defendants do not have access to the lawyer they wanted, and were given a public defender,” the source added.