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In ‘Jewish Matchmaking,’ a diverse set of Jews experience Orthodox dating practices
(JTA) — According to Jewish lore, God has been making matches since the creation of the world. Aleeza Ben Shalom has been at it only since 2007 — but the Jewish matchmaker is about to bring what she calls “the most important job in the world” to the masses.
As the host of “Jewish Matchmaking” on Netflix, Ben Shalom adapts the model of Orthodox arranged matches to Jewish singles from a variety of religious and cultural backgrounds, including secular, Reform and Conservative Jews from across the United States and Israel.
Formal matchmaking, known as shidduch dating and considered de rigueur in haredi Orthodox circles, has been depicted as oppressive and constricting on Netflix dramas such as “Shtisel” and “Unorthodox.” But Ben Shalom believes her basic approach to love and marriage makes sense for a wide array of people — and she’s out to prove it.
“I’m hoping that people will see that matchmaking and Judaism is not just something that’s old, but that’s timeless, that’s relevant,” Ben Shalom told the Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
“We can use this beautiful, ancient tradition of matchmaking and bring it to modern life, and help people to find love from any age, stage, any background. It doesn’t matter. It’s universal,” she said. “The wisdom that I share is from Judaism. It’s based in Torah, but it’s for the world. Anybody of any background, of any culture can watch this, can learn something from it and can implement it in their lives.”
Ben Shalom isn’t the first to make the case that matchmaking services can help a wide array of Jews find lasting love. Ventures such as YentaNet, a pluralistic matchmaking service that arose about a decade ago, and Tribe 12, a Jewish nonprofit working with young adults in Philadelphia where Ben Shalom got her start, have sought to pair Jewish singles who might be a good fit for each other.
But the practice is most common in haredi Orthodox communities, where the norms around shidduch dating are well known and closely followed. Daters have a “shidduch resume” outlining their education, interests and family background; parents are involved in the process; and dating is intended to move quickly toward marriage. Dates typically take place in public spaces and couples are expected not to touch until they are married.
In formal Orthodox matchmaking, the shadchan, or matchmaker, is usually compensated by the parents, receiving around $1,000 upon a couple’s engagement, although higher-end services may charge more. Some matchmakers may charge a smaller amount for the initial meeting with a client, while Ben Shalom’s company, Marriage Minded Mentor, charges $50 to $100 an hour on a sliding scale based on the client’s salary. (Sima Taparia, the star and host of “Indian Matchmaking,” the Netflix show that inspired “Jewish Matchmaking,” reportedly charges her clients around $1,330 to $8,000 for similar services.)
Matchmakers keep records of who in their communities is looking for a match, but they can also tap into networks of other matchmakers and databases of singles as they seek to pair their clients. “We don’t believe in competition, we believe in collaboration,” said Ben Shalom, who is currently based in Israel.
Ben Shalom grew up in a Conservative Jewish community where matchmaking was not the norm, and later became Orthodox. She knew her husband for three weeks before becoming engaged, then touched him for the first time during their wedding four months later.
She knows that most participants on “Jewish Matchmaking” are unlikely to follow those same restrictions. Still, she encourages them to at least try.
“I’m really trying to have you guys touch hearts,” Ben Shalom tells Harmonie Krieger, a marketing and brand consultant in her 40s, as she explains why she wants Krieger to abstain from physical contact for five dates. “You will gain clarity. If there’s no physical glue holding the relationship together, then there’s actually value-based glue that’s holding the relationship together.”
“I will accept the challenge,” Krieger says. “Maybe. Let’s see how it goes.”
Harmonie Krieger, one of the clients and cast members of the show, is challenged not to touch her dates for their first five dates. (Netflix)
Krieger is one of a number of non-Orthodox Jews who opted to be cast on “Jewish Matchmaking” after being unsatisfied with their own dating efforts. There’s Nakysha Osadchey, a Black Reform Jew who is desperate to get out of Kansas City, Missouri, where she hasn’t had luck finding a partner who understands her multicultural background. Living in Tel Aviv via Rome, Noah Del Monte, 24, is the youngest of the group, an Israeli army veteran and diplomat’s son who wants to transition from so-called “king of nightlife” to husband. In Los Angeles, Ori Basly, who works for his family’s wedding planning business, is looking for a blue-eyed, blonde-haired Israeli woman to fall in love with and bring home to his family.
The Jews cast on the show are all in different places in their lives, some grieving serious breakups or committed to specific religious identities, some picky about looks or hoping their partner will be OK with riding motorcycles. Some of them are looking for particular Jewish commitments to concepts such as tikkun olam, which means “repairing the world” and has come to represent a social justice imperative for many liberal Jews; others want to be sure they’re matched only with people who share their approaches to observing Shabbat and keeping kosher.
Nakysha Osadchey from Kansas City, Missouri is looking for someone who understands her multicultural background as a Black Reform Jew. (Netflix)
Pamela Rae Schuller, a comedian whose material frequently centers on living with Tourette syndrome, a nervous system disorder, demurred when Ben Shalom first offered to set her up about seven years ago, after attending one of Schuller’s shows in Los Angeles.
“I was picking career first. And there are a lot of complicated feelings around dating and disability,” said Schuller, who stands 4 feet 6 inches tall and frequently barks because of her syndrome. “And I never even thought about a matchmaker.”
But in 2022, Ben Shalom reached out again, this time with a possible match, and a catch — it would be for a new Netflix show she was set to host. This time, Schuller was ready.
“I have this life that I really, really love. I’m just at the point where I’ve realized I’d like someone to start to share that with,” she said. “I’m not going into this looking for anyone to complete me.”
Pamela Rae Schuller, a comedian whose material frequently deals with living with a disability, makes an appearance on “Jewish Matchmaking”. (Courtesy Pamela Rae Schuller)
Getting back into dating and then appearing on the show, which Schuller hasn’t seen yet, was both scary and exciting, she says
“I’m about to put myself out there. I think that’s scary for everyone, disability or otherwise,” Schuller said. “But I also want to see a world where we remember that every type of person dates.”
Plus, she added, “I love the idea that Netflix is willing to show diversity in Judaism, diversity in dating.”
Ensuring that she show accurately represented American Jews was the responsibility of Ronit Polin-Tarshish, an Orthodox filmmaker who worked as a consulting producer on “Jewish Matchmaking.” Her role was to ensure that Judaism was portrayed authentically. She also worked to help the Orthodox cast members feel more comfortable with their involvement on the show.
“Being Orthodox is who I am, and of course it infused every part of my work,” said Polin-Tarshish, who herself used a matchmaker to find her husband.
Multiple recent depictions of Orthodox Judaism in pop culture — including the Netflix reality show “My Unorthodox Life” — have drawn criticism from Orthodox voices for getting details of Orthodox observance wrong or seeming to encourage people to leave Orthodoxy. Both “My Unorthodox Life” and “Unorthodox,” based on the Deborah Feldman memoir of the same name, depict formerly Orthodox women who left arranged marriages they described as oppressive.
Meanwhile, other depictions of Jews have been panned for botching details. Those include a grieving widow (herself not Jewish, but mourning a Jewish husband) serving hamantaschen at the shiva in the 2014 film “This is Where I Leave You,” and a storyline on the Canadian show “Nurses” about an Orthodox man rejecting a bone graft from a non-Jew.
“So many times we watch shows as Jews and we kind of gnash our teeth, and are like, ‘They got it wrong! They got a basic thing wrong!’” said Polin-Tarshish, who previously produced the first-ever feature-length film by Orthodox women and worked on another reality show about arranged marriages across cultures. “That was my whole job, to make sure that they got it right. And thank God, baruch Hashem, I think we really did.”
Asked if her involvement on “Jewish Matchmaking” has received any pushback, Ben Shalom said she had gotten questions about how she could know whether the showrunners will accurately represent who she is.
Ben Shalom said she was confident in the production based on what she saw on “Indian Matchmaking,” but also because she believed she could pull off the delicate balance needed to represent her own community and make for great entertainment.
“You have to be smart about how you share who you are with the world, and you have to be authentic, and you have to be real, and you have to be true,” she said. “And you have to do that on reality TV with strangers that you’ve just met, and you have to do an interview. So only because I saw it done beautifully before, I knew that I had the ability to do that as well.”
Polin-Tarshish is excited for viewers at home to identify with the cast of “Jewish Matchmaking,” and to even get frustrated by some of the cast members’ actions. But most importantly, she says she is excited to have real, three-dimensional Jewish characters on screen.
“They’re real people in every sense of the word,” Polin-Tarshish said. “There are characters you’re going to love, there are characters you might even love to hate. But that’s life.”
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The post In ‘Jewish Matchmaking,’ a diverse set of Jews experience Orthodox dating practices appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
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Israeli ambassador meets with France’s Marine Le Pen, extending outreach to Europe’s far-right
(JTA) — Israeli Ambassador to France Joshua Zarka held a meeting on Wednesday with far-right French leader Marine Le Pen, marking the latest instance in a recent trend of Israeli outreach to Europe’s nationalist right.
The meeting, which was not publicly announced by either leader, was confirmed by the Israeli embassy to the French outlet Le Parisien. It was unclear what the pair discussed.
The meeting between Zarka and Le Pen, who is the former president of France’s far-right National Rally party, comes over a year since Israeli Foreign Minister Gideon Sa’ar announced that the country would lift its longstanding boycott of far-right parties in Sweden, France and Spain.
Israel continues not to engage with far-right parties in Germany, and Diaspora Minister Amichai Chikli, who has invited leaders of parties with a history of antisemitism to conferences he has organized in Israel, has cited the Alternative for Germany party as an example of one that had not adequately shed its antisemitic roots.
National Rally was founded as the National Front in 1972 by Le Pen’s father, Jean Marie le Pen, who frequently espoused racist and antisemitic rhetoric and was convicted of Holocaust denial in 1987.
The party has since tried to distance itself from its antisemitic history, with its current leader, Jordan Bardella, visiting Jerusalem last March for the country’s International Conference on Combating Antisemitism, where he delivered the keynote speech.
Diplomatic relations between Israel and France have soured in recent years, with French President Emmanuel Macron voicing public criticism of Israel’s conduct during the war in Gaza and formally recognizing Palestinian statehood at the United Nations General Assembly in September.
Last May, Le Pen shot back at Macron after he said during a television appearance that “what Benjamin Netanyahu’s government is doing today is unacceptable” and “a disgrace.”
“I find this statement unworthy of the President of the French Republic,” Le Pen responded. “He keeps increasing his criticism of Israel, perhaps because he is incapable of providing a solution to facilitate the fight against Islamist fundamentalism.”
While Le Pen has long voiced her support for Israel, last week she threw her support behind Macron’s proposal to include Lebanon in a regional ceasefire, which Israel has previously opposed.
“It is our country’s duty to protect Lebanon, its people, and its sovereignty,” wrote Le Pen in a post on X. “This country is once again a collateral victim of the tensions in the region, suffering massive bombings on its capital. I support France’s proposal to include Lebanon in the framework of the regional ceasefire.”
Israeli leaders have pushed back on Macron’s requests and refused to allow the country to be involved in direct talks between Israel and Lebanon, which was formerly a French mandate.
“We’d like to keep the French as far away as possible from pretty much everything, but particularly when it comes to peace negotiations,” Yechiel Leiter, Israel’s ambassador to the United States, told reporters earlier this week following ceasefire talks between Israel and Lebanon on Tuesday.
On Thursday, President Donald Trump announced that Israel and Lebanon had agreed to a 10-day ceasefire.
Le Pen has also been critical of the joint U.S.-Israeli strikes on Iran, telling Le Parisien last month that Trump “clearly did not fully appreciate the impact of his intervention.”
Le Pen is currently awaiting a July court ruling that will determine whether she can run in France’s presidential election next year, following her conviction last year for misusing European Parliament funds for political purposes.
This article originally appeared on JTA.org.
The post Israeli ambassador meets with France’s Marine Le Pen, extending outreach to Europe’s far-right appeared first on The Forward.
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Italian opposition leader Elly Schlein, whose father is Jewish, backs Giorgia Meloni in Trump split over Israel
(JTA) — Until this week, Giorgia Meloni, the Italian prime minister, was allies with Donald Trump and Benjamin Netanyahu and adversaries with Elly Schlein, Italy’s opposition leader.
Now, Meloni is at odds with Trump and Netanyahu, her fellow conservatives in the United States and Israel, and getting a boost from Schlein, a liberal whose father is an American Jew.
The causes of the breach: the U.S.-Israel war on Iran, and the pope.
Schlein threw her support between Meloni after Trump attacked her for defending Pope Leo XIV, who said on Friday that “God does not bless any conflict” and that Christians should never be on the side of those who drop bombs. The criticism triggered a strong response from Trump, who said on Sunday that the Catholic leader was “terrible on foreign policy” and accused him of “catering to the radical left.”
That did not go over well in Italy, where about three-quarters of people are Catholic. In a statement Monday, Meloni came to Pope Leo’s defense, calling Trump’s remarks “unacceptable,” and adding, “The Pope is the head of the Catholic Church, and it is right and proper that he call for peace and condemn all forms of war.”
The break between Trump and Meloni marked a notable public rift between the two leaders, as Meloni has long been one of Trump’s closest political allies in Europe. The rift deepened the next day, when Meloni announced that Italy had ended its defense agreement with Israel, marking another significant shift in the right-wing government’s international relations.
“In light of the current situation, the government has decided to suspend the automatic renewal of the defense agreement with Israel,” Meloni told reporters in Verona, adding, “When there are things we don’t agree with, we act accordingly.”
Trump wasn’t happy that Meloni had rebuffed his pressure to join the Iran conflict and said as much on Wednesday on Fox News.
“She’s been negative,” Trump said. “Anybody that turned us down to helping with this Iran situation, we do not have the same relationship.”
Enter Schlein and a rare moment of cross-party unity in Italy.
Schlein has led Italy’s Democratic Party since 2023. She has said she is “very proudly the daughter of a Jewish father,” the American-Italian scholar Melvin Schlein, and that she has faced antisemitism even though she herself is not Jewish.
Her father grew up in New Jersey and lived on Kibbutz Nahal Oz, one of the communities ravaged on Oct. 7, 2023, during the 1960s. He has joined his daughter in criticizing Netanyahu but told an Italian paper that while she believes in a two-state solution to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, he does not. The relative of Jews murdered in the Holocaust, he also has said he is concerned about rising antisemitism in Europe — and that while he generally shares his daughter’s politics, he is concerned that some on the left have joined with the right in adopting antisemitic ideas.
On Wednesday, speaking in the Italian Chamber of Deputies, Schlein, said she wished to express her “strongest condemnation” of Trump’s “attack on Meloni for having dutifully expressed solidarity with Pope Leo.”
She also emphasized her own opposition to the Iran war.
“I want to reiterate that Italy is a free and sovereign country, and our Constitution is clear: Italy repudiates war.” Schlein said during her speech to a standing ovation. “No foreign head of state can allow himself to attack, threaten, or disrespect our country and our government. We are adversaries in this chamber, but we are all Italian citizens and representatives of Italians, and we will not accept attacks or threats against the government and our country.”
Schlein had welcomed the suspension of the defense agreement and called on Italy to “stop obstructing” the suspension of the Association Agreement between Israel and the European Union, which governs trade and political relations between the entities.
This week, a petition by the European Citizens’ Initiative to end the agreement reached the required 1 million signatures needed to trigger a formal review by the European Commission.
“We, along with other progressive forces, have been calling for this for some time, because the dignity of this country is also measured by its respect for international law,” Schlein said.
The Israeli Foreign Ministry dismissed the suspension. While Italy is the third-biggest arms exporter to Israel, following the United States and Germany, it only accounted for 1.3% of Israeli arms imports between 2021 and 2025, according to the Stockholm International Peace Research Institute.
“We have no security agreement with Italy. We have a memorandum of understanding from many years ago that has never contained any substantive content,” the ministry said in a statement. “This will not affect Israel’s security.”
This article originally appeared on JTA.org.
The post Italian opposition leader Elly Schlein, whose father is Jewish, backs Giorgia Meloni in Trump split over Israel appeared first on The Forward.
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Our pioneering Reform synagogue has shrunk, but remains as vibrant as ever
To the editors:
As President of Temple Beth-El of Great Neck, I read Lauren Hakimi’s recent article “A pioneering Reform synagogue makes way for a booming Iranian Jewish community,” with both appreciation and concern. While the piece captures certain facts, it presents our congregation primarily through the lens of decline and demographic change. In doing so, it misses an important story.
Yes, we are preparing to sell the building that has been our home for decades, and our membership is smaller than it once was. But Temple Beth-El today is a vibrant, diverse, and deeply engaged congregation. Even a cursory look at our calendar would have shown the depth and breadth of the activities — worship, study, Israel engagement, social action and adult education — taking place at TBE.
Size is one measure of a synagogue’s success, but it is far from the only one. Even on that front, this story is incomplete. The sale of our building is not simply a response to changing numbers; it is a strategic step that will allow us to align our physical space with our mission and ensure long-term sustainability. This is a story not of retreat, but of reinvention. Further, after the sale, Temple Beth-El will be one of, if not the, most financially secure synagogues on Long Island.
We are proud of our role in the larger Great Neck community, and we cherish our values more than any building. Temple Beth-El has long been a strong voice for social justice, as Hakimi notes in mentioning our past hosting Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Today, we carry that legacy forward in our current work with interfaith food pantries and supporting undocumented immigrants.
These aren’t just social activities; they are religious imperatives. Hakimi notes that she herself received her COVID vaccine at TBE. When we opened our doors as a vaccine hub, we were not just providing a service — we were advancing our values by practicing the preservation of life for the benefit of our entire Great Neck family.
Finally, we are concerned that the reporter’s conclusion — “This is the most compelling thing anyone has told me for this story: that even Orthodox Jews benefit from having a Reform synagogue for a neighbor” — is misleading. We are proud to be good neighbors in a diverse community. But our purpose is not to justify our existence to others — it is to serve our congregants and all who seek a Judaism that is liberal, inclusive and engaged with the world.
Great Neck is not a zero-sum game of demographics, but a rich mosaic. Our synagogue’s commitment to a liberal, inclusive, and socially active Judaism is as essential to our town today as it was at our founding in 1928.
The post Our pioneering Reform synagogue has shrunk, but remains as vibrant as ever appeared first on The Forward.