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In ‘Jewish Matchmaking,’ a diverse set of Jews experience Orthodox dating practices
(JTA) — According to Jewish lore, God has been making matches since the creation of the world. Aleeza Ben Shalom has been at it only since 2007 — but the Jewish matchmaker is about to bring what she calls “the most important job in the world” to the masses.
As the host of “Jewish Matchmaking” on Netflix, Ben Shalom adapts the model of Orthodox arranged matches to Jewish singles from a variety of religious and cultural backgrounds, including secular, Reform and Conservative Jews from across the United States and Israel.
Formal matchmaking, known as shidduch dating and considered de rigueur in haredi Orthodox circles, has been depicted as oppressive and constricting on Netflix dramas such as “Shtisel” and “Unorthodox.” But Ben Shalom believes her basic approach to love and marriage makes sense for a wide array of people — and she’s out to prove it.
“I’m hoping that people will see that matchmaking and Judaism is not just something that’s old, but that’s timeless, that’s relevant,” Ben Shalom told the Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
“We can use this beautiful, ancient tradition of matchmaking and bring it to modern life, and help people to find love from any age, stage, any background. It doesn’t matter. It’s universal,” she said. “The wisdom that I share is from Judaism. It’s based in Torah, but it’s for the world. Anybody of any background, of any culture can watch this, can learn something from it and can implement it in their lives.”
Ben Shalom isn’t the first to make the case that matchmaking services can help a wide array of Jews find lasting love. Ventures such as YentaNet, a pluralistic matchmaking service that arose about a decade ago, and Tribe 12, a Jewish nonprofit working with young adults in Philadelphia where Ben Shalom got her start, have sought to pair Jewish singles who might be a good fit for each other.
But the practice is most common in haredi Orthodox communities, where the norms around shidduch dating are well known and closely followed. Daters have a “shidduch resume” outlining their education, interests and family background; parents are involved in the process; and dating is intended to move quickly toward marriage. Dates typically take place in public spaces and couples are expected not to touch until they are married.
In formal Orthodox matchmaking, the shadchan, or matchmaker, is usually compensated by the parents, receiving around $1,000 upon a couple’s engagement, although higher-end services may charge more. Some matchmakers may charge a smaller amount for the initial meeting with a client, while Ben Shalom’s company, Marriage Minded Mentor, charges $50 to $100 an hour on a sliding scale based on the client’s salary. (Sima Taparia, the star and host of “Indian Matchmaking,” the Netflix show that inspired “Jewish Matchmaking,” reportedly charges her clients around $1,330 to $8,000 for similar services.)
Matchmakers keep records of who in their communities is looking for a match, but they can also tap into networks of other matchmakers and databases of singles as they seek to pair their clients. “We don’t believe in competition, we believe in collaboration,” said Ben Shalom, who is currently based in Israel.
Ben Shalom grew up in a Conservative Jewish community where matchmaking was not the norm, and later became Orthodox. She knew her husband for three weeks before becoming engaged, then touched him for the first time during their wedding four months later.
She knows that most participants on “Jewish Matchmaking” are unlikely to follow those same restrictions. Still, she encourages them to at least try.
“I’m really trying to have you guys touch hearts,” Ben Shalom tells Harmonie Krieger, a marketing and brand consultant in her 40s, as she explains why she wants Krieger to abstain from physical contact for five dates. “You will gain clarity. If there’s no physical glue holding the relationship together, then there’s actually value-based glue that’s holding the relationship together.”
“I will accept the challenge,” Krieger says. “Maybe. Let’s see how it goes.”
Harmonie Krieger, one of the clients and cast members of the show, is challenged not to touch her dates for their first five dates. (Netflix)
Krieger is one of a number of non-Orthodox Jews who opted to be cast on “Jewish Matchmaking” after being unsatisfied with their own dating efforts. There’s Nakysha Osadchey, a Black Reform Jew who is desperate to get out of Kansas City, Missouri, where she hasn’t had luck finding a partner who understands her multicultural background. Living in Tel Aviv via Rome, Noah Del Monte, 24, is the youngest of the group, an Israeli army veteran and diplomat’s son who wants to transition from so-called “king of nightlife” to husband. In Los Angeles, Ori Basly, who works for his family’s wedding planning business, is looking for a blue-eyed, blonde-haired Israeli woman to fall in love with and bring home to his family.
The Jews cast on the show are all in different places in their lives, some grieving serious breakups or committed to specific religious identities, some picky about looks or hoping their partner will be OK with riding motorcycles. Some of them are looking for particular Jewish commitments to concepts such as tikkun olam, which means “repairing the world” and has come to represent a social justice imperative for many liberal Jews; others want to be sure they’re matched only with people who share their approaches to observing Shabbat and keeping kosher.
Nakysha Osadchey from Kansas City, Missouri is looking for someone who understands her multicultural background as a Black Reform Jew. (Netflix)
Pamela Rae Schuller, a comedian whose material frequently centers on living with Tourette syndrome, a nervous system disorder, demurred when Ben Shalom first offered to set her up about seven years ago, after attending one of Schuller’s shows in Los Angeles.
“I was picking career first. And there are a lot of complicated feelings around dating and disability,” said Schuller, who stands 4 feet 6 inches tall and frequently barks because of her syndrome. “And I never even thought about a matchmaker.”
But in 2022, Ben Shalom reached out again, this time with a possible match, and a catch — it would be for a new Netflix show she was set to host. This time, Schuller was ready.
“I have this life that I really, really love. I’m just at the point where I’ve realized I’d like someone to start to share that with,” she said. “I’m not going into this looking for anyone to complete me.”
Pamela Rae Schuller, a comedian whose material frequently deals with living with a disability, makes an appearance on “Jewish Matchmaking”. (Courtesy Pamela Rae Schuller)
Getting back into dating and then appearing on the show, which Schuller hasn’t seen yet, was both scary and exciting, she says
“I’m about to put myself out there. I think that’s scary for everyone, disability or otherwise,” Schuller said. “But I also want to see a world where we remember that every type of person dates.”
Plus, she added, “I love the idea that Netflix is willing to show diversity in Judaism, diversity in dating.”
Ensuring that she show accurately represented American Jews was the responsibility of Ronit Polin-Tarshish, an Orthodox filmmaker who worked as a consulting producer on “Jewish Matchmaking.” Her role was to ensure that Judaism was portrayed authentically. She also worked to help the Orthodox cast members feel more comfortable with their involvement on the show.
“Being Orthodox is who I am, and of course it infused every part of my work,” said Polin-Tarshish, who herself used a matchmaker to find her husband.
Multiple recent depictions of Orthodox Judaism in pop culture — including the Netflix reality show “My Unorthodox Life” — have drawn criticism from Orthodox voices for getting details of Orthodox observance wrong or seeming to encourage people to leave Orthodoxy. Both “My Unorthodox Life” and “Unorthodox,” based on the Deborah Feldman memoir of the same name, depict formerly Orthodox women who left arranged marriages they described as oppressive.
Meanwhile, other depictions of Jews have been panned for botching details. Those include a grieving widow (herself not Jewish, but mourning a Jewish husband) serving hamantaschen at the shiva in the 2014 film “This is Where I Leave You,” and a storyline on the Canadian show “Nurses” about an Orthodox man rejecting a bone graft from a non-Jew.
“So many times we watch shows as Jews and we kind of gnash our teeth, and are like, ‘They got it wrong! They got a basic thing wrong!’” said Polin-Tarshish, who previously produced the first-ever feature-length film by Orthodox women and worked on another reality show about arranged marriages across cultures. “That was my whole job, to make sure that they got it right. And thank God, baruch Hashem, I think we really did.”
Asked if her involvement on “Jewish Matchmaking” has received any pushback, Ben Shalom said she had gotten questions about how she could know whether the showrunners will accurately represent who she is.
Ben Shalom said she was confident in the production based on what she saw on “Indian Matchmaking,” but also because she believed she could pull off the delicate balance needed to represent her own community and make for great entertainment.
“You have to be smart about how you share who you are with the world, and you have to be authentic, and you have to be real, and you have to be true,” she said. “And you have to do that on reality TV with strangers that you’ve just met, and you have to do an interview. So only because I saw it done beautifully before, I knew that I had the ability to do that as well.”
Polin-Tarshish is excited for viewers at home to identify with the cast of “Jewish Matchmaking,” and to even get frustrated by some of the cast members’ actions. But most importantly, she says she is excited to have real, three-dimensional Jewish characters on screen.
“They’re real people in every sense of the word,” Polin-Tarshish said. “There are characters you’re going to love, there are characters you might even love to hate. But that’s life.”
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The post In ‘Jewish Matchmaking,’ a diverse set of Jews experience Orthodox dating practices appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
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From golems to Horton to banana menorahs: This year’s Hanukkah kids’ books light up the imagination
(JTA) — From Who-ville to Schmoozeville, and from island getaways to cozy homes, this year’s crop of Hanukkah books for kids of all ages take families on journeys to imaginative settings, some familiar from the pantheon of children’s literature and Jewish ideas. Families from across the diverse Jewish spectrum will enjoy the new titles that celebrate the popular eight-day holiday, also known as the Festival of Lights.
Three titles garnered the recommendation of the Association of Jewish Libraries — “Construction Site, Hanukkah Lights,” “Banana Menorah” and “Lost and Found Hanukkah.”
Hanukkah begins at sundown on Sunday, Dec. 14.
“Construction Site Hanukkah Lights”
Sherri Duskey Rinker and Shawna J.C. Tenney
Chronicle Books; ages 2-4
The youngest children — particularly those who are vehicle-obsessed — will enjoy lifting the flaps of this rhyming story, in which a dump truck, a crane and a cement mixer transform a construction site into a Hanukkah wonderland with a dazzling giant menorah and a huge pile of shiny gold Hanukkah gelt.
“Happy HanukKat”
Jessica Hickman; illustrated by Elissambura
Kar-Ben Publishing; ages 1-4
Jessica Hickman’s sweet, rhyming board book about a lively Jewish family of kittens will tickle the youngest kids, who will have fun celebrating each night of the holiday with the Hanukkah party-loving cat family. Elissambura’s playful illustrations feature kitties in Hanukkah party hats and sweaters.
“Golem Loves Latkes: A Tasty Hanukkah Tale”
Doreen Klein Robinson; illustrated by Anna Krajewska
Intergalactic Afikomen; ages 3-10
In Doreen Klein Robinson’s fun-filled story, an endearing little girl loves to visit her bubbie for Hanukkah in the happy village of Schmoozeville, where everyone likes to schmooze – chat, in Yiddish. But this year, the usually friendly townsfolk are bickering about the best topping for fried potato latkes — applesauce or sour cream. The young girl makes a clay dreidel that spins to life as a golem, the centuries-old Jewish mystical clay figure who protects Jews. When the latke-loving golem gobbles up all of Schmoozeville’s crispy latkes, the clever girl takes the golem’s message to the warring camps: Enjoy your latkes however you like and celebrate the true meaning of the holiday. Anna Krajewska’s lively, colorful illustrations add to the mayhem and score points for featuring a youthful, active bubbie.
“Dr. Seuss’s Horton Hears a Hanukkah Party!”
Leslie Kimmelman; illustrated by Tom Brannon, based on “Horton Hears a Who!” by Dr. Seuss
Random House; ages 3-7
Horton the Elephant looms large in Leslie Kimmelman’s rhyming riff on the classic “Horton Hears a Who!” by Dr. Seuss. The original features an elephant who champions the small against the mighty — a perfect character for the Hanukkah story. In this version, only Horton hears the faint sound of celebration that goes on night after night, so his jungle friends tease him. On the eighth night Horton sees the sparkling menorah belonging to a rabbi, who invites Horton and his pals to his family’s celebration. Tom Brannon’s illustrations translate the essence of Seuss’s floppy-eared Horton to a Jewish setting.
“Banana Menorah”
Lee Wind; illustrated by Karl West
Apples & Honey Press; ages 3-5
In Lee Wind’s light-hearted story, Skylar, a spirited young girl, and her two fathers are vacationing on an island far from home on the first night of Hanukkah. But both dads forgot to pack a menorah. The clever girl improvises with what’s on hand — the first night, it’s a banana menorah, the next, a granola bar. When they get home in time for the fourth candle and light their three menorahs, Skylar misses the new ones. For the rest of the holiday, her family celebrates with friends and all kinds of menorahs. Karl West’s animated illustrations add to the fun for a playful, creative holiday. Instructions for a banana menorah at the end — though there are also mass market versions available to buy.
“Lost and Found Hanukkah”
Joy Preble; illustrated by Lisa Anchin
Chronicle Books; ages 5-8
LGBT families and homemade menorahs are part of Joy Preble’s heartwarming story about Nate, who loves celebrating Hanukkah and lighting his family’s three menorahs, including one he made. When he and his two fathers move to a new apartment, Nate’s menorah gets lost. At Amy’s Judaica shop, Nate befriends the latke-loving, furry store kitty named Kugel, who runs out of the shop. When Nate’s dads fry up a batch of latkes for the holiday, the clever boy hatches a plan to find Kugel. By story’s end, everyone is reunited in time to celebrate Hanukkah and Nate carves a perfect new menorah. Lisa Anchin’s large cartoon-style illustrations reflect the story’s warmth and love.
“The Book of Candles: Eight Poems for Hanukkah”
Laurel Snyder; illustrated by Leanne Hatch
Clarion Books; ages 4-8
Children will enjoy following a young girl, her siblings, their parents and — again — a kitten as they light Hanukkah candles every night. Each night’s poem flows lyrically to the next. The award-winning Laurel Snyder adds a note for each candle that illuminates the themes of the holiday and turns the story into a teachable moment. Leanne Hatch’s cartoon-style illustrations capture the cozy, wintry setting and glow of the flickering flames
“A Dragon Called Spark: A Hanukkah Story”
Lily Murray; illustrated by Kirsti Beautyman
Kalaniot Books; ages 4-7
In Lily Murray’s imaginative tale, a young girl named Eva feels lonely when she and her family move somewhere new and she is far from friends at the start of Hanukkah. For comfort, Eva turns to Spark, her imaginary friend, a diminutive flying dragon. But Eva is worried that Spark is lonely and hopes for a Hanukkah miracle — a friend for herself and for Spark. When she meets Charlie, her neighbor, they become friends and she tells him about Spark, whom he can’t see. The power of friendship shines in this poignant story. Kirsty Beautyman’s illustrations capture the magic of the tale, which gets high marks for featuring a multiracial friendship.
“Eight Fairy Nights”
Imagined and illustrated by Bub
BookBaby; ages 4-8
Bub’s unique Hanukkah story introduces young kids to a fairytale version of the Hanukkah story and the Maccabees — who are lauded for their courage. Readers then meet eight fairies with eight virtues, one for each night. The book captures Bub’s enthusiasm for celebrating Hanukkah, and his weakness for riddles. Without referencing God’s hand in the Hanukkah miracle, “Eight Fairy Nights,” may be especially appealing to secular and humanist Jews.
The post From golems to Horton to banana menorahs: This year’s Hanukkah kids’ books light up the imagination appeared first on The Forward.
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America’s oldest Jewish congregation launches a kosher food pantry on the Upper West Side
(JTA) — On Thanksgiving morning, as volunteers gathered at Congregation Shearith Israel for the synagogue’s 11th annual “packathon,” they also marked a new milestone: Their synagogue was opening a kosher food pantry on the Upper West Side of Manhattan.
Shearith Israel, an Orthodox congregation that is also known as The Spanish and Portuguese Synagogue, was established in 1654, making it the oldest congregation in the United States.
The synagogue’s Thanksgiving-morning volunteer event draws a large crowd each year in part because of its location along the Macy’s parade route. But its Thanksgiving tradition stretches back centuries: In 1789, when George Washington announced the first national Thanksgiving, Shearith Israel’s leader at the time, Gershom Mendes Seixas, held the country’s first Jewish Thanksgiving service.
With a history older than the founding of the United States, Louis Solomon, the president, or parnas, of Shearith Israel, said the congregation was looking for a way to celebrate the country’s upcoming 250th birthday.
“It’s been a part of our culture for 3,000 years, but certainly a part of our culture in America for 372 years, to give back, to try to do what we can,” said Solomon. “So the congregation has gotten itself together and thought about, what is it that we could actually do?”
Over the summer, Shearith Israel reached out to Alexander Rapaport, the executive director of Masbia, a kosher soup kitchen and food pantry, to propose an idea: Masbia could open a location in their synagogue.
“They’re celebrating America turning 250 years, and they’re thinking of what they can do, something special,” said Rapaport. “And one of the things they think that could be is opening up a food pantry in their place.”
At the event on Thursday morning where the new Masbia Relief Annex was announced, volunteers from local faith groups, including the Jewish Center, the Latter-Day Saints and the West End Church, watched the parade and assembled 2,000 packages of food.
Solomon said Shearith Israel had pledged to contribute $50,000 to the new Masbia annex, and was asking local faith groups to collectively match their donation.
The new food distribution center is scheduled to open sometime before Hanukkah, and will allow Masbia to serve Manhattan through the use of Doordash, which provides the nonprofit with free delivery services.
Rapaport said that this month, due to the tightened federal rules around the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, Doordash had provided Masbia with 11,000 free deliveries. So far, Rapaport said they were on track to hit that number.
“We’re hoping that DoorDash is our go-to thing, because that eliminates the breadline stigma, and it just brings people food. It also gives us flexibility,” said Rapaport.
Masbia currently has three locations, two in Brooklyn and one in Queens. Now, Rapaport said the new space will allow the food nonprofit to provide delivery service in Manhattan as well.
“We’re here to help people. It’s a new borough, it’s not a borough that we were in. We’re going to reach out to the community and see where the need is, and slowly take on hopefully,” said Rapaport. “The first week we’ll only serve a few dozen people, but then if it grows to hundreds, we’ll be very happy.”
The post America’s oldest Jewish congregation launches a kosher food pantry on the Upper West Side appeared first on The Forward.
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Hezbollah Leader Leaves Open Possibility of New War With Israel
Lebanon’s Hezbollah Chief Naim Qassem gives a televised speech from an unknown location, July 30, 2025, in this screen grab from video. Photo: Al Manar TV/REUTERS TV/via REUTERS
The head of Lebanese terrorist group Hezbollah said on Friday it retained the right to respond to Israel‘s killing days ago of its top military commander and left open the possibility of a new conflict with Israel.
Naim Qassem spoke in a televised address as fears grew in Lebanon that Israel could escalate its bombardment of the country to compel Iran-backed Hezbollah to relinquish its arsenal across the country, which the group has repeatedly rejected.
Israel‘s killing of Hezbollah’s top military commander Haytham Ali Tabtabai in a strike on Beirut’s southern suburbs on Nov. 23 sharpened those worries.
Qassem said the group would “set the timing” for any retaliation, and said threats of a broader air campaign had no impact on the group – but that renewed war was possible.
“Do you expect a war later? It’s possible sometime. Yes, this possibility is there, and the possibility of no war is also there,” Qassem said.
Qassem did not explicitly say what the group’s position would be in a new war but said Lebanon should prepare a plan to confront Israel that relies on “its army and its people.”
Qassem also said he hoped Pope Leo’s upcoming visit to Lebanon “will play a role in bringing about peace and ending the [Israeli] aggression.”
Lebanon is under growing pressure from both Israel and the United States to more swiftly disarm Hezbollah and other militant groups across the country.
Moments after Qassem’s speech ended, Israeli military spokesperson Avichay Adraee said the Lebanese army’s efforts to seize Hezbollah weapons in the country’s south were “inadequate.”
“Hezbollah continues to manipulate them and work covertly to maintain its arsenal,” Adraee said in a post on X.
But Hezbollah has said it is unwilling to let go of its arms as long as Israel continues its strikes on Lebanese territory and its occupation of five points in the country’s south.