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Jewish marriage rites are robust. Now a rabbi is innovating rituals for Jews who divorce.
(J. The Jewish News of Northern California via JTA) — For Lyssa Jaye, throwing the wood chips into the Tuolumne River felt in many ways familiar to the tashlich ritual performed on Rosh Hashanah. But rather than casting off her sins, she was tossing away feelings: shame, resentment, anger.
They were the emotions that had taken residence inside Jaye since her divorce eight years ago, along with a sense of failure. And she had come to a Jewish retreat to rid herself of them.
“I’ve been carrying around these feelings for years now,” Jaye said. “I have a completely different life now, and I needed to let them go.”
Jaye was taking part in Divorce & Discovery: A Jewish Healing Retreat, the first-ever gathering in a series conceived by Rabbi Deborah Newbrun as part of her training, held this month at Camp Tawonga in the Bay Area.
One of the requirements at the Pluralistic Rabbinical Seminary, where Newbrun was ordained last year in the first graduating class, “was that each of us had to do an innovation, or something that didn’t exist before,” she said.
Newbrun, who directed Camp Tawonga for more than two decades, has been recognized for innovative programming for such achievements as initiating Tawonga’s LGBT family camp and founding its wilderness department. She even won a prestigious 2018 Covenant Award for Jewish educators. But as she started thinking about how to fulfill the seminary requirement, her first thought was, “I don’t have any ideas left in me.”
Then she began reflecting back on her divorce years earlier. She remembered how she had approached numerous rabbis and colleagues in search of Jewish support around the grief she felt. And how they all came up empty-handed.
That’s when she realized: “I can put together something meaningful and helpful for people going through divorce.”
From the moment participants arrived at Camp Tawonga near Yosemite, they knew this would be no ordinary Jewish retreat. At the opening event, all of the facilitators, several clergy members and a therapist shared their own divorce stories, “to set the standard and normalize vulnerability, transparent sharing and establish that we all know what it’s like to have a marriage end,” Newbrun said.
Most participants were from the Bay Area, with a handful from farther afield. They were in different life stages, from those in their 30s dealing with custody battles over young children, to empty nesters in their 60s. Some had separated from their partners years ago, while others had gone their separate ways more recently. Some split amicably; a good many did not. But all had come up against a lack of Jewish resources or support when navigating this major life passage.
Rabbi Deborah Newbrun, the founder of Divorce and Discovery at the recent weekend. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Jaye said she left no stone unturned in seeking out support, an experience Newbrun said she heard echoed by many participants. Jaye attended a retreat at a local meditation center. She read self-help books. She joined a support group for divorcees. She went to therapy.
And while they all helped in different ways, none was specifically Jewish.
“I knew I needed some kind of spiritual way forward,” she said. “I needed to do this in my own language, with my own people.”
Even though the retreat came nearly a decade years after Jaye’s divorce, “it was profound. It felt like coming home, and that this is what I needed all along. This model could be extremely powerful. The rituals we did could be taught in rabbinical schools or to Jewish educators so it’s not just ‘sign this get and goodbye,’” she said, referring to the Jewish divorce document.
Rather than create new rituals, Newbrun and her facilitators took familiar Jewish rituals and retooled them.
The tashlich ritual, led by Newbrun and Maggid Jhos Singer, had a call-and-response portion, and participants also could call out what they personally wanted to cast off. “One person ‘tashliched’ their wedding ring into the river and felt it was such a perfect place to let it go!” said Newbrun.
An optional immersion in the Tuolumne River followed. Jaye, who years ago went to the mikvah alone, with only the attendant there for support, said there was no comparison with how much more healing it felt performing the ritual in community.
A session on sitting shiva for one’s marriage, led by Rabbi Sue Reinhold, allowed participants to share and mourn the loss of what they missed most about being married. That resonated for Robyn Lieberman, who does not attend synagogue services but went to every session at the retreat on innovating Jewish rituals.
“I did need to mourn what I’m losing,” said Lieberman, who had been married to an Israeli. “We had a very public, open house around Jewish religion, and a constant Israeli identity, which fulfilled my Jewish needs.”
Rabbi Jennie Chabon of Congregation B’nai Tikvah in Walnut Creek reflected on how much time she has spent with couples preparing for their wedding day, both in premarital counseling and in planning the event, and on how many marriage-related topics are covered in rabbinical school.
“And when it comes to divorce? Nothing,” Chabon said. “We’re all out here on our own trying to figure out how to wander through it.”
She was tasked with creating a havdalah ceremony with a divorce theme, in which she reimagined the wine, spices and flame typically used to mark a division between Shabbat and the rest of the week.
“There’s a fire that burns within each of us, and that flame doesn’t go out,” said Chabon, 47. “When you’re married for a long time, your identity, energy and spirit is so woven into that of another.” Her ritual was meant to affirm that “you are on fire just as you are, and you’re a blessing as an individual in the world. You don’t need a partnership or family to be whole.”
Even the Shabbat Torah service was on theme.
Rabbi Jennie Chabon reads from the Torah during a service at the Divorce and Discovery retreat. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Rather than focusing on Noah’s emergence from the ark after the flood, Chabon spoke about a lesser-known section of the week’s Torah portion, in which Noah builds a fire and offers a sacrifice to God. But if the entire earth was drenched from the flood, Chabon asked, what did he burn?
“The answer is he must have burned the ark,” Chabon said in recalling her talk at the retreat. “What does that mean for people going through this incredibly painful and tender time in their lives, when what was once a safe container and secure and protected them, they have to burn it down in order to start life anew?
“This is a perfect rebirth metaphor. But what’s being birthed is a new self and a new identity in the world as a single person,” Chabon said. “You have to release and let go of what was to make room for the blessing for who you’re going to become.”
At a ritual “hackathon” workshop presented by Newbrun, participants suggested standing during Kaddish at synagogue to mourn their marriages, and offering their children a Friday night blessing that they are whole whether they are at either parent’s home.
Not all of the sessions centered on Jewish ritual. In a session on the Japanese art of kintsugi, or mending broken pottery, attendees made vessels whose cracks they fixed with putty, symbolizing that beauty can be found in imperfection. Many danced in a Saturday-night silent disco.
Everyone was assigned to a small group, or havurah, that they met with daily, so they could establish deeper connections within the larger cohort.
“To have gone through some of these practices was very meaningful to me,” said Lieberman. “It’s not like I put a seal on my marriage and wrapped it up in a bow and put it behind me, but it was a nice catharsis for completing a transition that I’ve been very thoughtful about.”
Newbrun aims to recreate the retreat in communities around the country. Both Jaye and Lieberman said they found value in being in community with people “who get it,” without the judgment they often face.
“I was a little skeptical that all I’d have in common with people was that we were Jewish and divorced, and that that wouldn’t be enough for me to form a relationship,” said Lieberman. “But having the willingness to talk about it and explore it did open up a lot of very vulnerable conversations. The expert facilitation really made us think about the fact that divorce is not about your paper [certificate], it’s about reexamining the direction of your life and who you want to be.”
A version of this piece originally ran in J. The Jewish News of Northern California, and is reprinted with permission.
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Netanyahu Applauds Eurovision Runner-Up Noam Bettan: ‘Everyone Is Very Proud of You’
Noam Bettan, representing Israel, performs “Michelle” during the dress rehearsal 2 of the Grand Final of the 2026 Eurovision Song Contest, in Vienna, Austria, May 15, 2026. Photo: REUTERS/Lisa Leutner
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu congratulated Israeli singer Noam Bettan on finishing in second place in this year’s Eurovision Song Contest on Saturday, despite boos and anti-Israel protests in the audience and boycotts from several countries due to Israel’s participation.
“Noam, what an amazing victory, what an achievement, and how much pride, strength, confidence, and artistry,” Netanyahu told the 28-year-old singer during a phone call. “You are on a path to greatness. In any case, you have the gratitude of the entire nation. Everyone is very, very proud of you.”
The prime minister also applauded the singer for standing “tall against those hollow verbal potshots.”
“You did it exactly as it should be done,” Netanyahu told Bettan. “You did a wonderful job. And I saw that the audience, as usual, was more supportive than the judges. Well done to you. Keep moving forward, rise and succeed, and many blessings.”
During their call, Bettan thanked Netanyahu for his kind words and said it was “a great privilege” to represent Israel in the Eurovision Song Contest, “to bring honor, to represent us in a positive light, and to bring some light and goodness into this world.”
“And I have a certain hope, because I felt there was a very great unity tonight, and I hope so much that it stays with us and continues in two days, in a year, and in 50 years,” Bettan noted. “I want unity so much, and I truly hope it continues.”
Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu spoke with singer Noam Bettan, who represented Israel in the Eurovision Song Contest and won an impressive second place in the competition > >https://t.co/dxTAe2NiRQ pic.twitter.com/lVMZYl2JlQ
— Prime Minister of Israel (@IsraeliPM) May 17, 2026
The 2026 Eurovision Song Contest took place at the Wiener Stadthalle in Vienna, Austria.
Bulgaria won with the upbeat dance track “Bangaranga,” performed by Dara. The victory marked the first ever Eurovision win for the Balkan nation, which will host next year’s competition. Bettan finished second with “Michelle,” a trilingual song in Hebrew, French, and English that is about putting oneself first when in a toxic relationship.
Anti-Israel protesters who disrupted Bettan’s performance during the semifinals last week were removed from the audience inside Vienna’s Wiener Stadthalle after chanting “stop, stop the genocide” and “Free, free Palestine.”
“One audience member, close to a microphone, loudly expressed their views as the Israeli artist began his performance, and during the song, which was heard on the live broadcast,” Austrian national broadcaster ORF and the European Broadcasting Union, which organizes the Eurovision, said in a joint statement about the incident. “They were later removed for continuing to disturb the audience. Three other people were also removed from the arena by security for disruptive behavior.”
Bettan told Reuters he also heard boos from a few pro-Palestinian protesters in the audience when he first went on stage for the semifinals.
Spain, Ireland, the Netherlands, Slovenia, and Iceland refused to participate in this year’s Eurovision because of Israel’s inclusion, in protest of the country’s military operation in the Gaza Strip targeting Hamas terrorists who orchestrated the deadly attack in southern Israel on Oct. 7, 2023.
Israel also finished second in the 2025 Eurovision Song Contest.
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Harry Styles Responds ‘Correct’ to Fan Shouting ‘Long Live Palestine’ at Amsterdam Concert
Harry Styles poses on the red carpet during for the BRIT Awards at the Co-op Live Arena, in Manchester, Britain, Feb. 28, 2026. Photo: REUTERS/Temilade Adelaja
British pop star Harry Styles on Saturday night interacted with a fan who shouted a slogan in support of Palestinians during the kickoff of his “Together, Together” world tour in Amsterdam.
The “Aperture” singer was performing in Amsterdam’s Johan Cruijff Arena on the opening night of his tour and stopped to adjust his earpiece on stage when an audience member shouted, “Viva, Viva Palestina!” which means “Long Live, Long Live Palestine” in Spanish. The former One Direction singer replied to the comment saying, “Correct.” A clip of the interaction was posted on social media.
One of the charity partners for the “Together, Together” tour is Choose Love, which provides humanitarian aid to Palestinians in the Gaza Strip and West Bank, including food and medical treatment.
The tour will include more than 60 performances around the world, including in The Netherlands, the United Kingdom, Australia, Mexico, and Brazil. Styles’ only shows in the United States will be 30 consecutive nights at New York City’s Madison Square Garden. The singer’s fourth solo album, “Kiss All the Time. Disco, Occasionally,” was released in March.
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Israel Warns of Escalating Terror Threat in West Bank as Iran, Turkey, Hamas Seek to Stoke Extremism
Israeli soldiers walk during an operation in Tubas, in the West Bank, Nov. 26, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Mohamad Torokman
Israeli security officials have warned of a rapidly deteriorating security situation in the West Bank, citing deepening Iranian and Turkish involvement alongside Hamas efforts to expand terrorist infrastructure and orchestrate attacks across the territory.
According to the Israeli news outlet Walla, defense officials point to a growing role by Iran, Turkey, and Hamas in financing, directing, and sustaining terrorism, while also leveraging Gaza-linked networks to expand coordination, incitement, and operational activity across the West Bank.
With Israeli communities in the West Bank steadily expanding, the local military command is under significant strain, operating with 22 battalions while confronting a wide range of security challenges, including dismantling terrorist infrastructure, disrupting terrorist financing channels, locating weapons caches, protecting settlements, and stopping arms smuggling from Jordan.
Israeli officials have previously warned that large-scale terrorist attacks targeting local communities could serve as a destabilizing flashpoint amid the wars in Gaza and Iran.
Last year, Israeli forces uncovered documents suggesting Hamas is actively preparing plans for raids on settlements in the area.
Israel’s domestic intelligence agency, the Shin Bet, arrested six Arab Israeli citizens last month suspected of transferring millions of shekels from Hamas’s Turkish branch into the West Bank as part of an underground terrorist financing network believed to have smuggled more than three million shekels to fund attacks against Israel.
Experts also point to a growing threat from the Jenin Brigades in the northern West Bank — an alliance of Palestinian Islamic Jihad and Hamas operatives that has transformed refugee camps into bases for shootings, bombings, and ambushes.
The group’s operations are reportedly sustained by a complex financing system that moves Iranian funds through Palestinian banking channels, siphons off Israeli-collected tax revenues, and makes use of international facilitators.
“By sustaining this West Bank front through Hamas and Palestinian Islamic Jihad networks, Tehran forces Israel to fight simultaneously across multiple fronts, drains resources that could otherwise consolidate gains in Gaza, and keeps the Palestinian issue politically radioactive enough to sabotage broader Arab-Israeli alignment,” Jose Lev Alvarez, a writing fellow at the Middle East Forum think tank, explained in a recent article.
“Tehran [then] advances its axis-of-resistance doctrine at minimal cost — no Iranian boots, no direct missile exchanges, just calibrated chaos designed to obstruct any credible day-after plan for Gaza and derail normalization agreements with Saudi Arabia or Gulf states demanding Palestinian stability,” he continued.
Last year, the Israel Defense Forces (IDF) warned that Iran was driving a growing terrorist threat in the West Bank, with concerns that Iranian-backed arms smuggling could enable an Oct. 7-style attack.
Israeli intelligence and security forces have since intensified operations across the territory amid fears that Iranian-supplied weapons are increasingly reaching Palestinian terrorists and escalating the risk of a large-scale assault.
Israeli intelligence assessments have also warned that terrorists operating in the West Bank are believed to possess weapons capable of breaching Israeli defenses, including what officials described as “standard Iranian weapons.”
According to Joe Truzman, a senior research analyst at the Foundation for Defense of Democracies (FDD), a Washington, DC-based think tank, Israeli officials should be closely monitoring the West Bank as Hamas regroups and rearms in the Gaza Strip after more than two years of war.
“Hamas and its allied factions understand that igniting violence in the territory would divert Israel’s attention during a critical time of rebuilding the group’s infrastructure in Gaza,” Truzman told The Algemeiner last year.
“The release of convicted terrorists to the West Bank under the [Israel-Hamas] ceasefire agreement may be a factor in the resurgence of organized violence in the territory,” he continued.
As of last February, Israeli security forces foiled nearly 1,000 terrorist plots over the past year, with senior military officials increasingly worried that the volatile situation in the West Bank could lead to a large-scale attack similar to Hamas’s Oct. 7, 2023, onslaught against Israeli settlements and communities near the security barrier.
According to a survey released last year by the Jerusalem Center for Security and Foreign Affairs, 70 percent of all respondents — and 81 percent of Jewish respondents — expressed fear of an Oct. 7-style attack coming from the West Bank. In contrast, 53 percent of Arab respondents said they were not worried about such an attack.
In response to these concerns, the IDF has established a special command to address potential threats in the West Bank and launched a nearly unprecedented counterterror operation in the northern part of the territory.