Uncategorized
Jewish marriage rites are robust. Now a rabbi is innovating rituals for Jews who divorce.
(J. The Jewish News of Northern California via JTA) — For Lyssa Jaye, throwing the wood chips into the Tuolumne River felt in many ways familiar to the tashlich ritual performed on Rosh Hashanah. But rather than casting off her sins, she was tossing away feelings: shame, resentment, anger.
They were the emotions that had taken residence inside Jaye since her divorce eight years ago, along with a sense of failure. And she had come to a Jewish retreat to rid herself of them.
“I’ve been carrying around these feelings for years now,” Jaye said. “I have a completely different life now, and I needed to let them go.”
Jaye was taking part in Divorce & Discovery: A Jewish Healing Retreat, the first-ever gathering in a series conceived by Rabbi Deborah Newbrun as part of her training, held this month at Camp Tawonga in the Bay Area.
One of the requirements at the Pluralistic Rabbinical Seminary, where Newbrun was ordained last year in the first graduating class, “was that each of us had to do an innovation, or something that didn’t exist before,” she said.
Newbrun, who directed Camp Tawonga for more than two decades, has been recognized for innovative programming for such achievements as initiating Tawonga’s LGBT family camp and founding its wilderness department. She even won a prestigious 2018 Covenant Award for Jewish educators. But as she started thinking about how to fulfill the seminary requirement, her first thought was, “I don’t have any ideas left in me.”
Then she began reflecting back on her divorce years earlier. She remembered how she had approached numerous rabbis and colleagues in search of Jewish support around the grief she felt. And how they all came up empty-handed.
That’s when she realized: “I can put together something meaningful and helpful for people going through divorce.”
From the moment participants arrived at Camp Tawonga near Yosemite, they knew this would be no ordinary Jewish retreat. At the opening event, all of the facilitators, several clergy members and a therapist shared their own divorce stories, “to set the standard and normalize vulnerability, transparent sharing and establish that we all know what it’s like to have a marriage end,” Newbrun said.
Most participants were from the Bay Area, with a handful from farther afield. They were in different life stages, from those in their 30s dealing with custody battles over young children, to empty nesters in their 60s. Some had separated from their partners years ago, while others had gone their separate ways more recently. Some split amicably; a good many did not. But all had come up against a lack of Jewish resources or support when navigating this major life passage.
Rabbi Deborah Newbrun, the founder of Divorce and Discovery at the recent weekend. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Jaye said she left no stone unturned in seeking out support, an experience Newbrun said she heard echoed by many participants. Jaye attended a retreat at a local meditation center. She read self-help books. She joined a support group for divorcees. She went to therapy.
And while they all helped in different ways, none was specifically Jewish.
“I knew I needed some kind of spiritual way forward,” she said. “I needed to do this in my own language, with my own people.”
Even though the retreat came nearly a decade years after Jaye’s divorce, “it was profound. It felt like coming home, and that this is what I needed all along. This model could be extremely powerful. The rituals we did could be taught in rabbinical schools or to Jewish educators so it’s not just ‘sign this get and goodbye,’” she said, referring to the Jewish divorce document.
Rather than create new rituals, Newbrun and her facilitators took familiar Jewish rituals and retooled them.
The tashlich ritual, led by Newbrun and Maggid Jhos Singer, had a call-and-response portion, and participants also could call out what they personally wanted to cast off. “One person ‘tashliched’ their wedding ring into the river and felt it was such a perfect place to let it go!” said Newbrun.
An optional immersion in the Tuolumne River followed. Jaye, who years ago went to the mikvah alone, with only the attendant there for support, said there was no comparison with how much more healing it felt performing the ritual in community.
A session on sitting shiva for one’s marriage, led by Rabbi Sue Reinhold, allowed participants to share and mourn the loss of what they missed most about being married. That resonated for Robyn Lieberman, who does not attend synagogue services but went to every session at the retreat on innovating Jewish rituals.
“I did need to mourn what I’m losing,” said Lieberman, who had been married to an Israeli. “We had a very public, open house around Jewish religion, and a constant Israeli identity, which fulfilled my Jewish needs.”
Rabbi Jennie Chabon of Congregation B’nai Tikvah in Walnut Creek reflected on how much time she has spent with couples preparing for their wedding day, both in premarital counseling and in planning the event, and on how many marriage-related topics are covered in rabbinical school.
“And when it comes to divorce? Nothing,” Chabon said. “We’re all out here on our own trying to figure out how to wander through it.”
She was tasked with creating a havdalah ceremony with a divorce theme, in which she reimagined the wine, spices and flame typically used to mark a division between Shabbat and the rest of the week.
“There’s a fire that burns within each of us, and that flame doesn’t go out,” said Chabon, 47. “When you’re married for a long time, your identity, energy and spirit is so woven into that of another.” Her ritual was meant to affirm that “you are on fire just as you are, and you’re a blessing as an individual in the world. You don’t need a partnership or family to be whole.”
Even the Shabbat Torah service was on theme.
Rabbi Jennie Chabon reads from the Torah during a service at the Divorce and Discovery retreat. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Rather than focusing on Noah’s emergence from the ark after the flood, Chabon spoke about a lesser-known section of the week’s Torah portion, in which Noah builds a fire and offers a sacrifice to God. But if the entire earth was drenched from the flood, Chabon asked, what did he burn?
“The answer is he must have burned the ark,” Chabon said in recalling her talk at the retreat. “What does that mean for people going through this incredibly painful and tender time in their lives, when what was once a safe container and secure and protected them, they have to burn it down in order to start life anew?
“This is a perfect rebirth metaphor. But what’s being birthed is a new self and a new identity in the world as a single person,” Chabon said. “You have to release and let go of what was to make room for the blessing for who you’re going to become.”
At a ritual “hackathon” workshop presented by Newbrun, participants suggested standing during Kaddish at synagogue to mourn their marriages, and offering their children a Friday night blessing that they are whole whether they are at either parent’s home.
Not all of the sessions centered on Jewish ritual. In a session on the Japanese art of kintsugi, or mending broken pottery, attendees made vessels whose cracks they fixed with putty, symbolizing that beauty can be found in imperfection. Many danced in a Saturday-night silent disco.
Everyone was assigned to a small group, or havurah, that they met with daily, so they could establish deeper connections within the larger cohort.
“To have gone through some of these practices was very meaningful to me,” said Lieberman. “It’s not like I put a seal on my marriage and wrapped it up in a bow and put it behind me, but it was a nice catharsis for completing a transition that I’ve been very thoughtful about.”
Newbrun aims to recreate the retreat in communities around the country. Both Jaye and Lieberman said they found value in being in community with people “who get it,” without the judgment they often face.
“I was a little skeptical that all I’d have in common with people was that we were Jewish and divorced, and that that wouldn’t be enough for me to form a relationship,” said Lieberman. “But having the willingness to talk about it and explore it did open up a lot of very vulnerable conversations. The expert facilitation really made us think about the fact that divorce is not about your paper [certificate], it’s about reexamining the direction of your life and who you want to be.”
A version of this piece originally ran in J. The Jewish News of Northern California, and is reprinted with permission.
—
The post Jewish marriage rites are robust. Now a rabbi is innovating rituals for Jews who divorce. appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
Uncategorized
Israeli Muay Thai Fighter Returns Home After Victory Over Anti-Israel Turkish Rival
Israeli Muay Thai fighter Ahavat Gordon. Photo: YouTube screenshot
Israeli Muay Thai fighter Ahavat Hashem Gordon returned home to Israel on Monday morning after winning a match in Lithuania on Saturday night against a Turkish rival who reportedly had posted on social media a series of threats against the Israeli athlete as well as anti-Israel messages before their fight.
The 19-year-old Israeli, who is nicknamed “Golden Boy,” defeated Turkish fighter Ali Koyuncu, 25, after just two rounds at the Lithuanian UTMA 17 held at the Zalgirio Arena in Kaunas. Gordon has no UTMA losses and put on an aggressive performance in the Muay Thai fight, where the fighters using MMA gloves. In the second round, Koyuncu injured his foot shortly before Gordon knocked him to the floor with a blow to the head. When the fighters were pulled apart, Koyuncu was seen heavily bleeding from the side of his head. The judges then made the call to end the fight and Gordon was named the winner.
At the pre-fight weigh-in on Friday, Gordon was draped in an Israeli flag and wore a kippah, tzitzit, and a Star of David necklace. Koyuncu tried to grab his Israeli opponent by the throat and as officials attempted to hold the two men back from each other, the Turkish fighter managed to kick Gordon in the stomach.
Koyuncu additionally raised his middle finger at Gordon and made antisemitic threats, which led to the Israeli Embassy in Lithuania requesting increased security around Gordon ahead of the fight, according to Israel Hayom. Before getting into the ring, Koyuncu also reportedly posted a video on social media that featured a message about the “bloodshed” he hoped Gordon would suffer.
“I always try to avoid bringing politics into sports. The moment he brought it in, there was no turning back,” Gordon added about his opponent. “I’m glad I showed the whole world that the people of Israel are strong. It’s incredible and it’s a privilege. I gave strength and showed that a Jewish Israeli can step into the ring wearing a kippah and tzitzit and not hide who he is … I asked him why he wrote what he wrote and told him not to do it again. I do respect him for stepping into the ring because that takes a lot, but beyond that I don’t respect him.”
Gordon thanked the public for their supportive messages, especially those he received from IDF troops. “Soldiers who watched the fight in Gaza, it moved me almost to tears,” he said. “Did I receive antisemitic responses about this fight? Yes, absolutely,” he admitted. “Not only me, but my family also did. I also heard about incidents in the crowd. We’re doing what we need to do, and we’re doing the right thing.”
Uncategorized
Israel Warns Lebanon of Strikes if Hezbollah Enters Any US-Iran War, Lebanese Officials Say
A man works on an electric pole next to a damaged building, in the aftermath of an Israeli strike on Friday, in Tamnine el Tahta, Bekaa valley, Lebanon, Feb. 21, 2026. Photo: REUTERS/Mohamed Azakir
Israel has warned Lebanon that it would strike the country hard, targeting civilian infrastructure including the airport, in the event that Hezbollah gets involved in any US-Iran war, two senior Lebanese officials said on Tuesday.
The Lebanese officials, speaking on condition of anonymity, said the Israeli message was delivered indirectly. The office of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and the Lebanese presidency did not immediately respond to requests for comment.
Iran and the US will hold a third round of nuclear talks on Thursday in Geneva, Oman’s Foreign Minister Badr Albusaidi said on Sunday, amid growing concerns about the risk of military conflict.
Lebanese Prime Minister Nawaf Salam, whose government has sought the disarmament of Iran-backed Hezbollah since taking office a year ago, urged the terrorist group not to take Lebanon into “another adventure,” speaking in a newspaper interview published on Tuesday.
Israel dealt heavy blows to Hezbollah during a war in 2024, killing its leader Hassan Nasrallah along with thousands of its fighters and destroying much of its arsenal.
Shi’ite Muslim Hezbollah was established by Iran‘s Revolutionary Guards in 1982.
Hezbollah‘s new leader Naim Qassem said in a televised address last month that the group was “not neutral” in the standoff between Washington and Tehran, and that it was “targeted by the potential aggression.”
“We are determined to defend ourselves. We will choose in due course how to act, whether to intervene or not,” Qassem said.
Hezbollah‘s last war with Israel began after it opened fire in solidarity with its Palestinian ally Hamas at the start of the Gaza conflict in 2023, prompting months of cross-border fighting before Israel mounted its devastating offensive.
PM SALAM WARNS HEZBOLLAH AGAINST ‘ANOTHER ADVENTURE’
“The Gaza adventure imposed a big cost on Lebanon. We hope that we will not be dragged into another adventure,” Salam told Nida al-Watan newspaper in the interview published on Tuesday.
The US State Department is pulling out non-essential government personnel and their eligible family members from the US embassy in Beirut, a senior State Department official said on Monday.
Since a US-backed ceasefire between Israel and Lebanon in 2024, Israel has carried out regular strikes against what it has identified as Hezbollah targets in Lebanon, accusing the group of seeking to rearm.
Israeli strikes have killed around 400 people in Lebanon since the ceasefire, according to a Lebanese toll.
Hezbollah says it has respected the ceasefire in southern Lebanon. In January, the US-backed Lebanese army said it had established operational control over the south, in line with the objective of establishing a monopoly on arms.
Israel said the effort was an encouraging beginning but far from sufficient.
Uncategorized
EU Memo Raises Security Concerns Over Mass Escape From Islamic State-Linked Syria Camp
Members of the Syrian government security forces stand guard as a group of female detainees gather at al-Hol camp after the government took control of it following the withdrawal of Syrian Democratic Forces (SDF), in Hasaka, Syria, Jan. 21, 2026. Photo: REUTERS/Khalil Ashawi
An EU internal memo has raised security concerns about the escape of thousands of people from a detention camp holding relatives of suspected Islamic State fighters in northeastern Syria, suggesting terrorist groups could recruit from them.
The memo, sent from the Cyprus presidency of the Council of the European Union to member states and dated Feb. 23, said the status of third-country nationals who had fled the camp at al-Hol remained unclear and that it was reported that a majority of them had escaped.
“This raises concerns about how terrorist groups might seek to capitalize on the current situation to increase recruitment efforts among escapees,” said the memo, which was reviewed by Reuters.
PRISONERS INCLUDED THOUSANDS OF FOREIGNERS
Al-Hol, near the Iraqi border, was one of the main detention camps for relatives of suspected Islamic State fighters who were detained during the US-backed campaign against the jihadist group in Syria.
Control of the camp changed hands in January, when Syrian government forces under President Ahmed al-Sharaa drove the Kurdish-led Syrian Democratic Forces from the area.
The SDF had guarded the facility for years.
The camp‘s population was 23,407 people the day before the government takeover, including 6,280 foreigners from more than 40 nationalities, Reuters reported last week, citing official data from the camp.
The US military said on Feb. 13 it had completed a mission to transfer 5,700 adult male Islamic State fighters from jails in Syria to Iraq. It had originally said up to 7,000 prisoners could eventually be transferred. The EU memo noted that the initial target was not met.
‘CHAOTIC TAKEOVER‘
In a section entitled “Security concerns stemming from the evolving situation in northeast Syria,” the EU memo said the “chaotic takeover led to the collapse of security and services in the al-Hol camp, triggering the escape of a significant portion of its population.”
The UN refugee agency in Syria and the Syrian government “have confirmed that an uncontrolled exodus has occurred over the past few weeks,” it added.
Damascus has accused the SDF of withdrawing from al-Hol on Jan. 20 without any coordination. The SDF has said its forces had been “compelled” to withdraw from the camp to areas surrounding cities which it said were under threat.
A Syrian government security source told Reuters last week that the security authorities, working in cooperation with international partners, had established a unit to “pursue those who are wanted.”
The SDF had guarded prisons holding thousands of Islamic State militants in northeast Syria, in addition to al-Hol and a second camp at Roj, which also holds relatives of suspected jihadists.
The EU memo said the capacity of Damascus “to manage these facilities is assessed as limited and facing significant operational challenges.” It noted that the government’s stated intent to gradually phase out al-Hol camp had “been overtaken by recent events, which raise grave security concerns.”
The EU memo said that al-Hol and Roj camps were hosting around 25,000 people, primarily women and children, “with many of these being highly radicalized and living in degrading humanitarian and security conditions.”
Roj camp remains under the control of the SDF for now.
Last week, the SDF released 34 Australian nationals from Roj, only for them to return later. The Australian government has ruled out helping families of IS terrorists return home. Roj is also home to British-born Shamima Begum.
The EU memo said there was “reason for concern regarding the possible escape of families” from Roj once the Syrian government takes control.
Syria‘s Information Ministry and the US Central Command did not immediately respond to requests for comment.
The memo came amid an uptick of Islamic State violence in Syria.
Islamic State terrorists killed four Syrian government security personnel in northern Syria on Monday, the Syrian state news agency reported, in what would be the group’s deadliest attack on government forces since the ouster of President Bashar al-Assad.
The assault on a checkpoint west of Raqqa city underlined an escalation in attacks by the jihadist group against President Ahmed al-Sharaa’s government, two days after the jihadist group declared “a new phase of operations” against it.
Islamic State issued no immediate claim of responsibility for Monday’s attack. On Saturday, the group claimed two attacks targeting Syrian army personnel in northern and eastern Syria, in which a Syrian soldier and a civilian were killed.
The Syrian state news agency said forces foiled Monday’s attack and killed one of the militants. It quoted a security source as saying Islamic State carried out the attack.
The terrorist group, however, only claimed responsibility on Tuesday for a separate attack on an army headquarters in the city of Mayadin in Deir al-Zor in eastern Syria that killed one soldier.
The group had carried out an attack in the same city days earlier.
The Syrian government joined the US-led coalition to combat Islamic State last year. In January, government forces seized control of Raqqa from the Kurdish-led Syrian Democratic Forces, along with much of the surrounding territory in northern and eastern Syria.
Meanwhile, US forces on Monday began withdrawing from their largest military base in the northeast, according to three Syrian military and security sources – part of a broader pullout of US troops who deployed to Syria a decade ago to fight Islamic State.