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Jewish marriage rites are robust. Now a rabbi is innovating rituals for Jews who divorce.
(J. The Jewish News of Northern California via JTA) — For Lyssa Jaye, throwing the wood chips into the Tuolumne River felt in many ways familiar to the tashlich ritual performed on Rosh Hashanah. But rather than casting off her sins, she was tossing away feelings: shame, resentment, anger.
They were the emotions that had taken residence inside Jaye since her divorce eight years ago, along with a sense of failure. And she had come to a Jewish retreat to rid herself of them.
“I’ve been carrying around these feelings for years now,” Jaye said. “I have a completely different life now, and I needed to let them go.”
Jaye was taking part in Divorce & Discovery: A Jewish Healing Retreat, the first-ever gathering in a series conceived by Rabbi Deborah Newbrun as part of her training, held this month at Camp Tawonga in the Bay Area.
One of the requirements at the Pluralistic Rabbinical Seminary, where Newbrun was ordained last year in the first graduating class, “was that each of us had to do an innovation, or something that didn’t exist before,” she said.
Newbrun, who directed Camp Tawonga for more than two decades, has been recognized for innovative programming for such achievements as initiating Tawonga’s LGBT family camp and founding its wilderness department. She even won a prestigious 2018 Covenant Award for Jewish educators. But as she started thinking about how to fulfill the seminary requirement, her first thought was, “I don’t have any ideas left in me.”
Then she began reflecting back on her divorce years earlier. She remembered how she had approached numerous rabbis and colleagues in search of Jewish support around the grief she felt. And how they all came up empty-handed.
That’s when she realized: “I can put together something meaningful and helpful for people going through divorce.”
From the moment participants arrived at Camp Tawonga near Yosemite, they knew this would be no ordinary Jewish retreat. At the opening event, all of the facilitators, several clergy members and a therapist shared their own divorce stories, “to set the standard and normalize vulnerability, transparent sharing and establish that we all know what it’s like to have a marriage end,” Newbrun said.
Most participants were from the Bay Area, with a handful from farther afield. They were in different life stages, from those in their 30s dealing with custody battles over young children, to empty nesters in their 60s. Some had separated from their partners years ago, while others had gone their separate ways more recently. Some split amicably; a good many did not. But all had come up against a lack of Jewish resources or support when navigating this major life passage.
Rabbi Deborah Newbrun, the founder of Divorce and Discovery at the recent weekend. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Jaye said she left no stone unturned in seeking out support, an experience Newbrun said she heard echoed by many participants. Jaye attended a retreat at a local meditation center. She read self-help books. She joined a support group for divorcees. She went to therapy.
And while they all helped in different ways, none was specifically Jewish.
“I knew I needed some kind of spiritual way forward,” she said. “I needed to do this in my own language, with my own people.”
Even though the retreat came nearly a decade years after Jaye’s divorce, “it was profound. It felt like coming home, and that this is what I needed all along. This model could be extremely powerful. The rituals we did could be taught in rabbinical schools or to Jewish educators so it’s not just ‘sign this get and goodbye,’” she said, referring to the Jewish divorce document.
Rather than create new rituals, Newbrun and her facilitators took familiar Jewish rituals and retooled them.
The tashlich ritual, led by Newbrun and Maggid Jhos Singer, had a call-and-response portion, and participants also could call out what they personally wanted to cast off. “One person ‘tashliched’ their wedding ring into the river and felt it was such a perfect place to let it go!” said Newbrun.
An optional immersion in the Tuolumne River followed. Jaye, who years ago went to the mikvah alone, with only the attendant there for support, said there was no comparison with how much more healing it felt performing the ritual in community.
A session on sitting shiva for one’s marriage, led by Rabbi Sue Reinhold, allowed participants to share and mourn the loss of what they missed most about being married. That resonated for Robyn Lieberman, who does not attend synagogue services but went to every session at the retreat on innovating Jewish rituals.
“I did need to mourn what I’m losing,” said Lieberman, who had been married to an Israeli. “We had a very public, open house around Jewish religion, and a constant Israeli identity, which fulfilled my Jewish needs.”
Rabbi Jennie Chabon of Congregation B’nai Tikvah in Walnut Creek reflected on how much time she has spent with couples preparing for their wedding day, both in premarital counseling and in planning the event, and on how many marriage-related topics are covered in rabbinical school.
“And when it comes to divorce? Nothing,” Chabon said. “We’re all out here on our own trying to figure out how to wander through it.”
She was tasked with creating a havdalah ceremony with a divorce theme, in which she reimagined the wine, spices and flame typically used to mark a division between Shabbat and the rest of the week.
“There’s a fire that burns within each of us, and that flame doesn’t go out,” said Chabon, 47. “When you’re married for a long time, your identity, energy and spirit is so woven into that of another.” Her ritual was meant to affirm that “you are on fire just as you are, and you’re a blessing as an individual in the world. You don’t need a partnership or family to be whole.”
Even the Shabbat Torah service was on theme.
Rabbi Jennie Chabon reads from the Torah during a service at the Divorce and Discovery retreat. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Rather than focusing on Noah’s emergence from the ark after the flood, Chabon spoke about a lesser-known section of the week’s Torah portion, in which Noah builds a fire and offers a sacrifice to God. But if the entire earth was drenched from the flood, Chabon asked, what did he burn?
“The answer is he must have burned the ark,” Chabon said in recalling her talk at the retreat. “What does that mean for people going through this incredibly painful and tender time in their lives, when what was once a safe container and secure and protected them, they have to burn it down in order to start life anew?
“This is a perfect rebirth metaphor. But what’s being birthed is a new self and a new identity in the world as a single person,” Chabon said. “You have to release and let go of what was to make room for the blessing for who you’re going to become.”
At a ritual “hackathon” workshop presented by Newbrun, participants suggested standing during Kaddish at synagogue to mourn their marriages, and offering their children a Friday night blessing that they are whole whether they are at either parent’s home.
Not all of the sessions centered on Jewish ritual. In a session on the Japanese art of kintsugi, or mending broken pottery, attendees made vessels whose cracks they fixed with putty, symbolizing that beauty can be found in imperfection. Many danced in a Saturday-night silent disco.
Everyone was assigned to a small group, or havurah, that they met with daily, so they could establish deeper connections within the larger cohort.
“To have gone through some of these practices was very meaningful to me,” said Lieberman. “It’s not like I put a seal on my marriage and wrapped it up in a bow and put it behind me, but it was a nice catharsis for completing a transition that I’ve been very thoughtful about.”
Newbrun aims to recreate the retreat in communities around the country. Both Jaye and Lieberman said they found value in being in community with people “who get it,” without the judgment they often face.
“I was a little skeptical that all I’d have in common with people was that we were Jewish and divorced, and that that wouldn’t be enough for me to form a relationship,” said Lieberman. “But having the willingness to talk about it and explore it did open up a lot of very vulnerable conversations. The expert facilitation really made us think about the fact that divorce is not about your paper [certificate], it’s about reexamining the direction of your life and who you want to be.”
A version of this piece originally ran in J. The Jewish News of Northern California, and is reprinted with permission.
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‘Patently Antisemitic’: US Counterterror Chief Quits, Under Fire for Claiming Israel Tricked Trump Into Iran War
National Counterterrorism Center Director Joseph Kent attends a House Homeland Security hearing entitled “Worldwide Threats to the Homeland,” on Capitol Hill in Washington, DC, US, Dec. 11, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Elizabeth Frantz
Joe Kent, head of the US National Counterterrorism Center who had ties to white nationalist figures, stepped down on Tuesday in protest over the joint US-Israel strikes in Iran, claiming in a resignation letter which, according to critics, contained antisemitic tropes that President Donald Trump had been duped by Israel into entering the war.
In the letter, addressed to Trump and posted to the X social media platform, Kent said that Iran “posed no imminent threat to our nation, and it is clear that we started this war due to pressure from Israel and its powerful American lobby.”
“Early in this administration, high-ranking Israeli officials and influential members of the American media deployed a misinformation campaign that wholly undermined your America First platform and sowed pro-war sentiments to encourage a war with Iran,” Kent wrote.
Responding to the claims, former Israeli Ambassador to the United States Michael Oren said the argument that Trump had been pushed into war by Israel ignored decades of Iranian hostility and repeated attacks on Americans.
“Every day since 1979, the Iranian regime swore to destroy the United States and, in pursuit of that pledge, sought to develop strategic weapons while committing hundreds of acts of war against Americans,” Oren told The Algemeiner. “President Trump did not need to be dragged into defending the American people from this looming threat and certainly not by a purportedly cunning Israeli leader.”
“Suggestions to the contrary made by Joe Kent and others on both the right and the left are deeply insulting to the president and patently antisemitic,” he added.
In his letter, Kent said Trump was deceived by Israelis and the media “into believing that Iran posed an imminent threat to the United States, and that should you strike now, there was a clear path to a swift victory.”
“This was a lie and the same tactic the Israelis used to draw us into the disastrous Iraq war that cost our nation the lives of thousands of our best men and women.”
Kent said he could not endorse war with Iran as “a veteran who deployed to combat 11 times and as a Gold Star husband who lost my beloved wife Shannon in a war manufactured by Israel.”
Shannon Kent, his first wife, was killed in a suicide bombing by the Islamic State terrorist group in Syria in 2019.
Trump responded by saying that while Kent, who was a top aide to intelligence director Tulsi Gabbard, was a “nice guy,” he was “very weak on security.”
“When I read the statement, I realized that it’s a good thing that he’s out, because he said that Iran was not a threat,” Trump said. “Iran was a threat.”
The American Jewish Committee called Kent’s letter “deeply disturbing” and said that by “falsely blaming ‘Israel and its powerful American lobby,’” Kent had “invoked antisemitic tropes.”
“Such claims echo long-standing conspiratorial narratives about Jewish power and influence that have fueled hatred, discrimination, and violence for generations and should never be amplified by government leaders,” the organization said in a statement.
Gerard Filitti, a legal analyst at the New York-based think tank, The Lawfare Project, said Kent’s letter was “textbook antisemitic dog-whistling dressed up as patriotism,” with a darker agenda that aligned him with the anti-Israel wing of the Republican Party.
Kent was charging that “American officials, American intelligence, and the American president himself were manipulated by Jewish power into a war that serves no American interest,” Filitti noted in an op-ed published in the Times of Israel.
“That is not a foreign policy critique. That is a conspiracy theory with a body count of history behind it, and Americans deserve a full accounting of who Kent is.”
Filitti outlined the repeated scrutiny Kent faced during his US congressional runs in Washington state over links to far-right and white nationalist figures, including Nick Fuentes, who said Kent once told him, “I love what you’re doing.” Kent later distanced himself publicly but was also interviewed by a Fuentes-linked outlet and said American culture was “anti-white” and “anti-straight-white-male.”
The controversy extended beyond Fuentes. The Associated Press reported Kent’s campaign paid a Proud Boys member as a consultant, while critics also pointed to his ties to Patriot Prayer founder Joey Gibson and to Greyson Arnold, a Christian nationalist who called Hitler “misunderstood.” When the connections drew attention, Kent repeatedly said he was unaware of their views.
Kent’s resignation will bolster his standing with the isolationist wing of the Republican Party associated with Tucker Carlson, especially as the Trump administration reportedly braces for a Carlson interview with him, according to Axios.
In his letter, Kent wrote that Iran “posed no imminent threat to our nation,” framing that as a confident judgment despite having said something very different before taking office, Filitti noted, treating warnings about Iranian assassination plots as credible.
In a September 2024 post on X, he wrote that “Iran has been after Trump since January of 2020 after he ordered the targeted killing of the terrorist Qasem Soleimani. This isn’t a new threat.”
The timing of Kent’s abrupt reversal was too politically convenient, according to Filitti.
“Either Kent was wrong then, or he is lying now,” he said.
“His [Kent’s] resignation letter doesn’t represent a whistleblower’s courage; it represents a fired official’s revisionism, dressed up in the language of patriotism and laced with the oldest smear in the canon,” Filitti said.
He added that the former counterterrorism chief should be questioned under oath about what he knew of Iran’s threat posture while advising the president, and why he later walked back his views.
Nevertheless, even if Kent is appealing to the Carlson, Megyn Kelly, and Candace Owens lane of the far-right, recent polls show that bloc is not representative of most MAGA voters. An NBC survey conducted about a week into the war found roughly 90 percent of self-identified MAGA Republicans supported the strikes, compared with far lower backing among Republicans outside that camp.
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Nigeria: 25 Killed, Over 200 Injured in Triple Bombing Terror Attacks
A Nigerian police truck stands at the deserted Maiduguri Monday Market the morning after multiple explosions struck the northeastern city of Maiduguri, Borno State, Nigeria, March 17, 2026. Photo: REUTERS/Ahmed Kingimi
Three simultaneous explosions hit Maiduguri, the capital of Nigeria’s northeast state Borno, on Monday night, killing dozens of people as terrorism continues to wreak havoc across Sub-Saharan Africa.
The death count was initially reported as 23, but Nigerian Vice President Kashim Shettima stated on Tuesday that it had since risen to 25.
No group has yet claimed responsibility for the bombings, which also left more than 200 people hospitalized after suicide bombers targeted the gate of the University of Maiduguri Teaching Hospital, the Post Office flyover area, and Maiduguri Monday Market.
Following the attacks, medical services rushed victims to hospitals before police and military moved in to secure the scenes and begin investigations.
Bagoni Alkali, an eyewitness of the explosions who helped bring victims to the hospital, told the Associated Press that over 200 people were injured and receiving care in the accident and emergency department.
“Investigations are ongoing to further ascertain the circumstances surrounding the incidents and to bring perpetrators to justice,” according to Borno police.
Caleb Jonah survived the attack on the hospital with injuries to his legs and hands.
“I was coming to the hospital to check [in on] a patient when I saw two men struggling with the security men at the gate,” he said. “Before I could process what was going on I heard the deafening blast and I passed out.”
Mohammed Hassan — who works in a volunteer force backing counter-terrorism military operations — described the attack as one of the deadliest in Maiduguri in years and noted that hospitals were “in dire need of blood.”
In a Monday statement, Borno’s Governor Babagana Umara Zulum said that “my thoughts and prayers are with the families of the victims and those injured as a result of the blast. The act is utterly condemnable, barbaric, and inhumane.”
Nigeria’s President Bola Tinubu called the attacks “desperate acts of the evil-minded terrorist groups” and said that “our gallant military and civilian task forces will curtail and put them down.”
Nigerian politician Rotimi Amaechi, who previously served as governor of Rivers and ex-minister of transportation, condemned Tinubu in a Tuesday statement.
“This government is killing Nigerians. I repeat, President Tinubu’s government is killing Nigerians, literally destroying lives. He has failed in the most sacred duty of protecting the lives of the citizens of this country,” Amaechi said.
“The Monday bombings in Maiduguri are not just a tragedy; it is a damning indictment of a leadership that has grown complacent, incompetent, and indifferent to the sufferings and deaths of Nigerians at the hands of ravaging bandits,” he added.
Noting that Tinubu had issued his statement during a trip to the United Kingdom, Amaechi said that “while families mourn and communities live in fear, those in power issue hollow statements and make empty promises. In fact, now, they don’t bother to make promises anymore. They just move on as if nothing happened. Tinubu would rather be dining and partying in London while Nigeria burns. They just don’t care!”
Nigeria’s military said on Monday that its forces had also engaged suspected Islamist terrorists outside Maiduguri. The leading jihadist organizations which the state has battled for years have included Boko Haram and its splinter group Islamic State West Africa Province (ISWAP). Another of the region’s most lethal Islamist organizations is Jama’a Nusrat ul-Islam wa al-Muslimin (JNIM), an Al Qaeda-linked group which the Africa Center for Strategic Studies has named as responsible for 83 percent of deaths regionally.
On Wednesday, Nigeria’s military fought Islamic extremists again, killing 80 who attacked a base. Troops had reportedly anticipated the attack and called on Nigeria’s air force to deliver precision strikes.
Over the last decade, Islamist terrorism has surged in the Sahel region of central Africa, where 17 out of every 20 attacks classified as serious have taken place. The Sahel — also called the Sahelian acacia savanna — runs south of the Sahara Desert across the African continent.
Burkina Faso has seen the most attacks, accounting for 20 percent of the world’s terrorist killings since 2020. Neighboring Mali and Niger have also seen increases in terrorism, with analysts regarding the countries’ recent military coups as a key factor in destabilizing state security. New leaders have rejected Western military assistance and chosen Russian mercenaries instead. This rise in chaos has bled over into Nigeria, which now accounts for 6 percent of global terrorism deaths.
In November, the Combating Terrorism Center at West Point published new research identifying Africa as the primary theater now in the continued fight against Islamist extremists. Analysts found that 86 percent of all terrorism-related deaths occurred in just 10 countries, with seven of them in Africa and five in the Sahel region.
A report released last month from India’s Observer Research Foundation (ORF), one of the top-ranked think tanks in the world, detailed how forests had become a key strategic territory for the terrorists seeking to impose Shariah in the Sahel, notably JNIM and the Islamic State Sahel Province (ISSP), formerly known as the Islamic State in the Greater Sahara (ISGS).
“In recent years, forests across the Sahel and its southern periphery have evolved into core infrastructure for terrorist operations, enabling recruitment, financing, logistics, and even parallel governance,” wrote ORF’s Samir Bhattacharya and Shrestha Medhi. “As a matter of fact, this spatial transformation is a key reason behind the rapid expansion of terrorist violence across the Sahel.”
Bhattacharya and Medhi explained that “terrorist groups in the Sahel have learned that while holding cities is costly and difficult to sustain, controlling forests is relatively easier. Forests provide concealment from aerial surveillance and, due to limited road access, constrain mechanized military responses. They also create jurisdictional ambiguity, with overlapping authority between ranger forces and regular troops.”
The ORF report described three key advantages which this forest strategy provides for Sahel Islamists: inadequate armed patrol more focused on conservation than counterterrorism, dense vegetation which enables ambushes among the limited infrastructure, and already-existing black-market economies they can plunder to fund further attacks. The Sahel’s forest regions also obscure smuggling, gold mining, cattle grazing, and wildlife poaching.
According to Bhattacharya and Medhi, JNIM “has increasingly prioritized rural hinterlands, border zones, and conservation areas over urban centers.”
The group has embedded itself within the W-Arly-Pendjari Complex (WAP Complex), which UNESCO has designated as a World Heritage site and describes as “the largest and most important continuum of terrestrial, semi-aquatic and aquatic ecosystems in the West African savannah belt. The property is a refuge for wildlife species that have disappeared elsewhere in West Africa or are highly threatened.” The preserve contains the largest populations of elephants in West Africa as well as other large mammals including cheetahs, leopards, and the region’s only viable lion population.
The ORF report described how the WAP complex — which includes territory in Benin, Burkina Faso, and Niger — has become “central” to the strategy of operating within forest regions. “By embedding itself within the park system, JNIM has secured a cross-border sanctuary that allows its militants to evade security forces by moving seamlessly between jurisdictions.”
Within the forests, JNIM operates as a governing authority and attempts to present itself as a superior alternative. “Where governments ban mining or grazing in the name of security or conservation, militants portray themselves as facilitators of livelihoods by loosening such restrictions,” Bhattacharya and Medhi wrote.
The terrorist conflicts represent an intra-religious war within Islam, as Muslim political leaders in Nigeria invoked their faith to call for justice.
“May Allah also bring this madness to an end. No religion sanctions the killing of the innocent,” Shettima wrote on Facebook. “Whatever is motivating them, may Allah either guide them onto the right path, or may Allah vanquish them from the surface of the earth.”
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Expelled Oberlin Chabad rabbi says he ‘made a mistake’ with explicit social media chats
A police report obtained by the Forward sheds light on the removal of a Chabad rabbi from the campus of Oberlin College last week, after the school administration became aware of a police report that alleged he engaged in sexually explicit conversations online concerning minors.
Rabbi Scott (Shlomo) Elkan, former co-director of Oberlin Chabad, allegedly sent sexually explicit texts, photos and videos through the messaging app Kik concerning three young people, ages 7, 12 and 13, according to the report.
In December 2025 messages to an adult on the platform, Elkan allegedly sent photos of himself giving a child a bath, alluded to touching the child’s genitals, and said he had been aroused when the child was sitting on his lap, the report stated.
Investigators said he also shared media of the child’s underwear that he appeared to have ejaculated on.
According to the report, the Oberlin Police Department closed the case after a 20-day investigation, with no charges filed.
In a phone interview with the Forward, Elkan said he regretted his participation in the chat, but that his messages were not based on real events. He did not address the photos.
“To be clear, what had happened was an online chat with an anonymous adult on purely fictional, you know, fantastical things that’s not rooted in any kind of reality whatsoever,” Elkan said. “And I entered that, and I should not have, and I take responsibility for that.”
Elkan added that he has been engaged in “professional care and spiritual counseling to deal with all of the stresses and all of the factors that led me to engaging in an unhealthy behavior.”
According to the report, in an interview with police, Elkan confirmed the Kik account belonged to him and said the chats were “escapism” from the stress of his everyday life. He denied ever viewing or possessing child pornography.
Elkan told the Forward that “oftentimes people think of rabbis as godlike and infallible,” and he “made a mistake in one of the weakest few moments of my life.”
“There was no crime. Nothing illegal. Poor judgment, yes,” Elkan said. “And there’s not a victim. The victims here are the Jewish community and my family.”
The fallout on campus
Oberlin president Carmen Twillie Ambar wrote an email last week alerting students and staff of the news that Elkan, who had worked at Oberlin Chabad since 2010, had been banned from campus — without sharing specifics.
“In the police report, Elkan admits to egregious actions in his personal life — including engaging in online sexual conversations concerning children and objectionable behavior,” Ambar wrote. “This behavior violates Oberlin’s values, shocks the conscience, and makes it clear that we cannot allow him continued access to our campus and community.”
Elkan criticized how Oberlin handled the situation, saying the email that the college sent to the community about his departure was vague and allowed speculation to spread. He also said the email was made public during the meeting in which campus officials informed him that he had been banned.
“That’s where my hurt, and I think so much of the hurt of the community lies. Because every time we stuck our neck out for the college, and every time we work for the best interest of them and the community, what feels like the very first opportunity they had to show us that same support, they chose a very different route,” Elkan said. “So I take responsibility for my actions, and I hold the college incredibly responsible for how this has played out.”
Andrea Simakis, a spokesperson for Oberlin, said in a statement that representatives of the college met with Elkan via Zoom just prior to releasing the campus message “to let him know we were going to send it, why we were sending it, and that we were banning him from campus.”
Simakis added that the language in the campuswide email “reflects the information in the police report, which we obtained through a public records request.”
Along with serving as a Chabad rabbi, Elkan also certified Oberlin’s kosher kitchen and sometimes led Passover services and other religious celebrations on campus, according to Ambar’s email.
Chabad rabbis are not typically employed by universities, instead operating independently through the Chabad umbrella, with Chabad functioning as recognized campus religious organizations.
Elkan resigned from his position with Chabad last Friday, a Chabad spokesperson told the Forward. Chabad did not provide further comment.
In the email to the community, Ambar said Oberlin had not previously received reports concerning Elkan’s behavior and was now asking a third party to investigate whether members of the campus community had been affected.
Ambar added that the news would be especially difficult for “those who sought spiritual leadership and guidance from Elkan,” but “the seriousness of this matter requires clear and swift action.” Rabbi Allison Vann, who had led High Holy Day services on campus with Cleveland Hillel, will work with students for the remainder of the semester.
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