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Jewish marriage rites are robust. Now a rabbi is innovating rituals for Jews who divorce.
(J. The Jewish News of Northern California via JTA) — For Lyssa Jaye, throwing the wood chips into the Tuolumne River felt in many ways familiar to the tashlich ritual performed on Rosh Hashanah. But rather than casting off her sins, she was tossing away feelings: shame, resentment, anger.
They were the emotions that had taken residence inside Jaye since her divorce eight years ago, along with a sense of failure. And she had come to a Jewish retreat to rid herself of them.
“I’ve been carrying around these feelings for years now,” Jaye said. “I have a completely different life now, and I needed to let them go.”
Jaye was taking part in Divorce & Discovery: A Jewish Healing Retreat, the first-ever gathering in a series conceived by Rabbi Deborah Newbrun as part of her training, held this month at Camp Tawonga in the Bay Area.
One of the requirements at the Pluralistic Rabbinical Seminary, where Newbrun was ordained last year in the first graduating class, “was that each of us had to do an innovation, or something that didn’t exist before,” she said.
Newbrun, who directed Camp Tawonga for more than two decades, has been recognized for innovative programming for such achievements as initiating Tawonga’s LGBT family camp and founding its wilderness department. She even won a prestigious 2018 Covenant Award for Jewish educators. But as she started thinking about how to fulfill the seminary requirement, her first thought was, “I don’t have any ideas left in me.”
Then she began reflecting back on her divorce years earlier. She remembered how she had approached numerous rabbis and colleagues in search of Jewish support around the grief she felt. And how they all came up empty-handed.
That’s when she realized: “I can put together something meaningful and helpful for people going through divorce.”
From the moment participants arrived at Camp Tawonga near Yosemite, they knew this would be no ordinary Jewish retreat. At the opening event, all of the facilitators, several clergy members and a therapist shared their own divorce stories, “to set the standard and normalize vulnerability, transparent sharing and establish that we all know what it’s like to have a marriage end,” Newbrun said.
Most participants were from the Bay Area, with a handful from farther afield. They were in different life stages, from those in their 30s dealing with custody battles over young children, to empty nesters in their 60s. Some had separated from their partners years ago, while others had gone their separate ways more recently. Some split amicably; a good many did not. But all had come up against a lack of Jewish resources or support when navigating this major life passage.
Rabbi Deborah Newbrun, the founder of Divorce and Discovery at the recent weekend. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Jaye said she left no stone unturned in seeking out support, an experience Newbrun said she heard echoed by many participants. Jaye attended a retreat at a local meditation center. She read self-help books. She joined a support group for divorcees. She went to therapy.
And while they all helped in different ways, none was specifically Jewish.
“I knew I needed some kind of spiritual way forward,” she said. “I needed to do this in my own language, with my own people.”
Even though the retreat came nearly a decade years after Jaye’s divorce, “it was profound. It felt like coming home, and that this is what I needed all along. This model could be extremely powerful. The rituals we did could be taught in rabbinical schools or to Jewish educators so it’s not just ‘sign this get and goodbye,’” she said, referring to the Jewish divorce document.
Rather than create new rituals, Newbrun and her facilitators took familiar Jewish rituals and retooled them.
The tashlich ritual, led by Newbrun and Maggid Jhos Singer, had a call-and-response portion, and participants also could call out what they personally wanted to cast off. “One person ‘tashliched’ their wedding ring into the river and felt it was such a perfect place to let it go!” said Newbrun.
An optional immersion in the Tuolumne River followed. Jaye, who years ago went to the mikvah alone, with only the attendant there for support, said there was no comparison with how much more healing it felt performing the ritual in community.
A session on sitting shiva for one’s marriage, led by Rabbi Sue Reinhold, allowed participants to share and mourn the loss of what they missed most about being married. That resonated for Robyn Lieberman, who does not attend synagogue services but went to every session at the retreat on innovating Jewish rituals.
“I did need to mourn what I’m losing,” said Lieberman, who had been married to an Israeli. “We had a very public, open house around Jewish religion, and a constant Israeli identity, which fulfilled my Jewish needs.”
Rabbi Jennie Chabon of Congregation B’nai Tikvah in Walnut Creek reflected on how much time she has spent with couples preparing for their wedding day, both in premarital counseling and in planning the event, and on how many marriage-related topics are covered in rabbinical school.
“And when it comes to divorce? Nothing,” Chabon said. “We’re all out here on our own trying to figure out how to wander through it.”
She was tasked with creating a havdalah ceremony with a divorce theme, in which she reimagined the wine, spices and flame typically used to mark a division between Shabbat and the rest of the week.
“There’s a fire that burns within each of us, and that flame doesn’t go out,” said Chabon, 47. “When you’re married for a long time, your identity, energy and spirit is so woven into that of another.” Her ritual was meant to affirm that “you are on fire just as you are, and you’re a blessing as an individual in the world. You don’t need a partnership or family to be whole.”
Even the Shabbat Torah service was on theme.
Rabbi Jennie Chabon reads from the Torah during a service at the Divorce and Discovery retreat. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Rather than focusing on Noah’s emergence from the ark after the flood, Chabon spoke about a lesser-known section of the week’s Torah portion, in which Noah builds a fire and offers a sacrifice to God. But if the entire earth was drenched from the flood, Chabon asked, what did he burn?
“The answer is he must have burned the ark,” Chabon said in recalling her talk at the retreat. “What does that mean for people going through this incredibly painful and tender time in their lives, when what was once a safe container and secure and protected them, they have to burn it down in order to start life anew?
“This is a perfect rebirth metaphor. But what’s being birthed is a new self and a new identity in the world as a single person,” Chabon said. “You have to release and let go of what was to make room for the blessing for who you’re going to become.”
At a ritual “hackathon” workshop presented by Newbrun, participants suggested standing during Kaddish at synagogue to mourn their marriages, and offering their children a Friday night blessing that they are whole whether they are at either parent’s home.
Not all of the sessions centered on Jewish ritual. In a session on the Japanese art of kintsugi, or mending broken pottery, attendees made vessels whose cracks they fixed with putty, symbolizing that beauty can be found in imperfection. Many danced in a Saturday-night silent disco.
Everyone was assigned to a small group, or havurah, that they met with daily, so they could establish deeper connections within the larger cohort.
“To have gone through some of these practices was very meaningful to me,” said Lieberman. “It’s not like I put a seal on my marriage and wrapped it up in a bow and put it behind me, but it was a nice catharsis for completing a transition that I’ve been very thoughtful about.”
Newbrun aims to recreate the retreat in communities around the country. Both Jaye and Lieberman said they found value in being in community with people “who get it,” without the judgment they often face.
“I was a little skeptical that all I’d have in common with people was that we were Jewish and divorced, and that that wouldn’t be enough for me to form a relationship,” said Lieberman. “But having the willingness to talk about it and explore it did open up a lot of very vulnerable conversations. The expert facilitation really made us think about the fact that divorce is not about your paper [certificate], it’s about reexamining the direction of your life and who you want to be.”
A version of this piece originally ran in J. The Jewish News of Northern California, and is reprinted with permission.
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Israel Sees Momentum in Latin America After Argentina’s Milei Officially Launches Isaac Accords
Argentine President Javier Milei meets with Israeli Foreign Minister Gideon Saar in Buenos Aires during Saar’s diplomatic and economic visit to strengthen ties between the two countries. Photo: Screenshot
With the official launch of the Isaac Accords by Argentina’s President Javier Milei, Israel aims to expand its diplomatic and security ties across Latin America, with the initiative designed to promote government cooperation and fight antisemitism and terrorism.
Milei formally launched the Isaac Accords last week during a meeting in Buenos Aires with Israeli Foreign Minister Gideon Saar, who has been on a regional diplomatic tour.
Modeled after the Abraham Accords — a series of historic US-brokered normalization agreements between Israel and several Arab countries, this new initiative aims to strengthen political, economic, and cultural cooperation between the Jewish state and Latin American governments.
The Argentine leader called his country a “pioneer” alongside the United States in promoting the new framework, emphasizing its role in fostering closer ties between Israel and the region across key strategic fields.
“While the vast majority of the free world decided to turn its back on the Jewish state, we extended a hand to it,” Milei said during a speech at the 90th anniversary of the Delegation of Argentine Israelite Associations (DAIA), the country’s Jewish umbrella organization.
“While the vast majority turned a deaf ear to the growth of antisemitism in their lands, we denounced it with even greater fervor, because evil cannot be met with indifference,” he continued.
Thank you
President @JMilei for your moral clarity & support. You are a true friend.
— Israel Foreign Ministry (@IsraelMFA) November 30, 2025
Shortly after Milei’s announcement, Saar praised him as “a double miracle, for Argentina and for the Jewish people,” describing his connection to Judaism and Israel as “sincere, powerful, and moving.”
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu also praised Milei, describing his “moral clarity, vision, and courage” as signals of “a new era of common sense, mutual interests, and shared values between Israel and Latin America.”
The first phase of the Isaac Accords will focus on Uruguay, Panama, and Costa Rica, where potential projects in technology, security, and economic development are already taking shape as the initiative seeks to deepen cooperation in innovation, commerce, and cultural exchange.
In February, Argentina’s Foreign Minister Pablo Quirno will visit Israel to work with Saar and Netanyahu on advancing the initiative’s operational framework.
Milei also announced plans to relocate the country’s embassy to Jerusalem next spring, fulfilling a promise made last year, as the two allies continue to strengthen their bilateral ties.
The top Israeli diplomat commended Milei, describing his support for Israel on the international stage as “courageous and forceful.”
The Isaac Accords will also aim to encourage partner countries to move their embassies to Jerusalem, formally recognize Hamas and Hezbollah as terrorist organizations, and shift longstanding anti-Israel voting patterns at the United Nations.
Less than a year after the Hamas-led invasion of and massacre across southern Israel on Oct. 7, 2023, Argentina became the first Latin American country to designate the Palestinian Islamist group as a terrorist organization, with Paraguay following suit earlier this year.
As Israel moves to strengthen its diplomatic and economic ties in Latin America, Saar announced on Monday that Ecuador has opened an additional diplomatic mission in Jerusalem, further bolstering their bilateral relations.
“Several Latin American countries – Guatemala, Paraguay and Honduras – have already moved their embassies to Jerusalem,” the Israeli diplomat wrote in a post on X.
“The opening of Ecuador’s office in Jerusalem is another milestone on this important path. I commend [Ecuador’s President Daniel Noboa] and the people of Ecuador for this significant decision,” he continued.
Foreign Minister @gidonsaar :
“Another diplomatic mission in our eternal capital, Jerusalem.
Together with Ecuador’s Ambassador to Israel, Cristina Ceballos, and Hebrew University President Prof. Tamir Shefer, I inaugurated Ecuador’s new Innovation Office – granted… pic.twitter.com/a4BeZi9uyN
— Israel Foreign Ministry (@IsraelMFA) December 1, 2025
Saar also announced that Bolivia has lifted visa requirements for Israelis entering the country, signaling closer cooperation between the two countries.
“This decision will allow many Israelis to visit Bolivia again after many years, enjoy its vibrant culture and remarkable scenery, and strengthen the ties between our nations,” Saar posted on X.
תודה לך, נשיא בוליביה רודריגו פז על ביטול דרישת הויזה לישראלים.
החלטה זו תאפשר לישראלים רבים לחזור לבוליביה לאחר שנים רבות, להנות מתרבותה העשירה ומנופיה עוצרי הנשימה ולחזק את הקשרים בין עמינו.
— Gideon Sa’ar | גדעון סער (@gidonsaar) December 1, 2025
President Rodrigo Paz, a center-right politician, took office this year following years of left-wing government in Bolivia during which the country severed relations with Israel. Paz’s election signaled a shift in policy toward the Jewish state.
Last week, Saar kicked off his regional diplomatic trip in Paraguay, signing a security cooperation memorandum and meeting with President Santiago Peña, whom he praised as “one of the most impressive leaders on the international stage today.”
“Paraguay is developing major defense capabilities. Israel’s defense industry has experience and capabilities that we want to share with you,” the Israeli official said during a press conference with Paraguay’s Foreign Minister Rubén Ramírez Lezcano.
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Pope Leo meets with Erdogan, says two-state solution is the ‘only’ path forward in Middle East
(JTA) — Following a visit in Turkey last week, Pope Leo XIV said that he had spoken with Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan about their shared support for a two-state solution, which Leo called the “only solution” to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.
Leo’s comments to reporters Sunday came while he traveled from Turkey to Lebanon on the papal plane as part of his first international tour since being elected to the papacy in May.
During his address, Leo thanked Erdogan, who has consistently voiced support for Hamas and fostered hostile relations with Israel, for helping coordinate the trip and for hosting him on his personal helicopter.
Asked by a reporter whether he had spoken with Erdogan about the conflict in Gaza, Leo said that the Turkish leader was “certainly in agreement” about the proposal for a two-state solution, adding that he believed that Turkey has an “important role that it could play in all of this.”
Leo also said that he hoped to play a “mediating role” in the conflict and criticized Israel for rejecting a two-state solution. (Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has long rejected Palestinian statehood, and the U.S.-brokered ceasefire deal between Israel and Hamas does not include provisions for a Palestinian state, though it positions itself as part of a roadmap to statehood.)
“We all know that at present Israel still does not accept this solution, but we see it is the only solution that could offer, let us say, an answer to the conflict they continue to live,” Leo said in Italian to reporters. “We are also friends of Israel, and we are trying to act as a mediating voice for both sides, helping to bring about a solution that is fair for everyone.”
In September, Leo met with Israeli President Isaac Herzog and told the leader that he believed the two-state solution was the only way out of the conflict in Gaza.
Leo’s remarks echoed similar appeals he made shortly after his election. In May, he made two public addresses where he called for a ceasefire in Gaza and decried the suffering of families in the enclave during the conflict.
On Thursday, Erdogan praised Leo’s advocacy for Palestinians and called for a Palestinian state based on the “1967 borders,” which refer to a state in the West Bank and Gaza with East Jerusalem as its capital.
“We commend (Pope Leo’s) astute stance on the Palestinian issue,” Erdogan said during an address in Ankara. “Our debt to the Palestinian people is justice, and the foundation of this is to immediately implement the vision of a two-state solution based on the 1967 borders. Similarly, preserving the historic status of Jerusalem is crucial.”
Leo’s trip to the region comes the same week that the “popemobile” that belonged to his predecessor, Pope Francis, debuted in Gaza in its retrofitted version as a mobile pediatric health clinic.
The post Pope Leo meets with Erdogan, says two-state solution is the ‘only’ path forward in Middle East appeared first on The Forward.
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Meet Zevi Eckhaus, the Jewish college football bowl-bound quarterback who prays at the 18-yard line
(JTA) — After a game, it’s not uncommon for football players to kneel in a prayer circle at midfield. But Zevi Eckhaus, the Washington State Cougars’ Jewish starting quarterback, tends to do so in a particular spot on the gridiron.
“Every game, I go to the 18-yard line, get down on a knee, and pray,” Eckhaus said, referring to the number that has a special place in Jewish tradition.
“Every time I put on my pads and go outside and throw a football, I know that’s with God’s help,” the 6-feet, 209-pound quarterback told The Cholent, a newsletter in Seattle, in a recent interview.
On Saturday, Eckhaus led the Cougars’ offense to a 32-8 win, clinching a berth in a Division I college football bowl game. That game will be the final one at the collegiate level for Eckhaus, a redshirt senior.
“I’d love to play football as long as I possibly can,” Eckhaus told The Cholent. While there’s been no buzz around Eckhaus as an NFL prospect, the Canadian Football League’s Montreal Alouettes have secured his negotiation rights, should he choose to go north of the border.
Eckhaus was raised in an Orthodox Jewish household, attending the Chabad-affiliated Cheder Menachem Los Angeles through elementary and most of middle school. Students at Cheder Menachem learned Jewish text for most of the school day, then crammed “two hours of what they called English, which was essentially math, science, everything kind of in a bunch,” he told Cougfan.com last year. (The school’s website says it provides “an exemplary well rounded Judaic and general academic education.”)
Eckhaus said he “started davening with tefillin” when he was 13. He went away from it for a while, but said that, “Thankfully, I’ve had interactions in my life that brought me back to davening every single day with Rashi and Rabbeinu Tam” — that is, the two distinct sets of tefillin worn by Chabad and other particularly stringent Orthodox movements.
Eckhaus said the student-athlete lifestyle doesn’t lend itself to being observant.
“Shabbos is still tricky because we play on Saturdays,” he said in the recent interview. “Eating kosher all the time is also hard because of the cafeteria and being at the facility most of the day.”
But Eckhaus said he’s found a balance between the rigorous schedule as a Division I quarterback and finding time for prayer and Jewish community.
“I wake up every morning and put on tefillin. I read mishnayos every week,” he said, referring to the foundational collection of Jewish legal theory. “There’s a small Hillel group here I can meet with sometimes. I try to keep as much as I can with my religion.”
There’s not much of a Jewish community in Pullman, Washington, but Eckhaus said the rabbi from nearby Spokane occasionally comes to town and organizes events.
“If he does that, I usually try to get involved with that,” he told Cougfan.com. “The Jewish students I stay in contact with, I try to get involved with them.”
Last season, the Cougars played against Fresno State on Yom Kippur. Eckhaus was not yet the starting quarterback, but was still present on the sidelines — and still observing the sacred day.
“I didn’t have any form of technology,” he told Cougfan.com later that year. “I didn’t eat or drink for 25 hours, and Coach [Jake] Dickert even went out of his way to have a private room set aside for me after the game for me to finish out the final prayer.” This year, Eckhaus said he was cleared to miss a practice held during Yom Kippur.
While the schedule can at times conflict with his religious observance, Eckhaus said he’s gotten no trouble from his teammates.
“Everybody comes from different backgrounds, families, upbringings, religions,” he said. “There are so many differences on a football team, yet still so much love, trust, and connection because of what you go through together.”
Eckhaus has previously been teammates with two Palestinian offensive linemen, and said “those guys were some of the nicest to me.”
“There’s no bickering or tension around religion, at least not in my experience,” Eckhaus told The Cholent.
After spending three years at Bryant University in Rhode Island — during which he was named the conference’s 2023 Offensive Player of the Year — Eckhaus transferred to Washington State in 2024. A backup all season, Eckhaus was thrust into the starting role for last year’s Holiday Bowl because the Cougars’ starter entered the transfer portal.
“It’s pretty cool that this game will be on Hanukkah,” Eckhaus said ahead of that bowl game, which they went on to lose 52-35 to the Syracuse Orange.
There are few Jewish players in NCAA Division I football. The most notable among them currently is Jake Retzlaff, the former quarterback at Brigham Young University, affiliated with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Retzlaff transferred to Tulane after he drew a suspension for violating the school’s famously strict honor code. The suspension followed allegations of sexual assault in a civil lawsuit that was later dismissed and Retzlaff’s admission that he had engaged in premarital sex, which BYU prohibits. Tulane is currently ranked 24th in the country.
Sam Salz, meanwhile, became likely the first Orthodox player to appear in a Division I NCAA football game last year, and spent three years as a walk-on with the Texas A&M Aggies.
Eckhaus took over the Cougars’ starting quarterback role four weeks into this season, and has registered 1,760 passing yards, 20 total touchdowns and nine interceptions. The date and opponent of Washington State’s bowl game will be announced Dec. 7.
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