Uncategorized
Jewish marriage rites are robust. Now a rabbi is innovating rituals for Jews who divorce.
(J. The Jewish News of Northern California via JTA) — For Lyssa Jaye, throwing the wood chips into the Tuolumne River felt in many ways familiar to the tashlich ritual performed on Rosh Hashanah. But rather than casting off her sins, she was tossing away feelings: shame, resentment, anger.
They were the emotions that had taken residence inside Jaye since her divorce eight years ago, along with a sense of failure. And she had come to a Jewish retreat to rid herself of them.
“I’ve been carrying around these feelings for years now,” Jaye said. “I have a completely different life now, and I needed to let them go.”
Jaye was taking part in Divorce & Discovery: A Jewish Healing Retreat, the first-ever gathering in a series conceived by Rabbi Deborah Newbrun as part of her training, held this month at Camp Tawonga in the Bay Area.
One of the requirements at the Pluralistic Rabbinical Seminary, where Newbrun was ordained last year in the first graduating class, “was that each of us had to do an innovation, or something that didn’t exist before,” she said.
Newbrun, who directed Camp Tawonga for more than two decades, has been recognized for innovative programming for such achievements as initiating Tawonga’s LGBT family camp and founding its wilderness department. She even won a prestigious 2018 Covenant Award for Jewish educators. But as she started thinking about how to fulfill the seminary requirement, her first thought was, “I don’t have any ideas left in me.”
Then she began reflecting back on her divorce years earlier. She remembered how she had approached numerous rabbis and colleagues in search of Jewish support around the grief she felt. And how they all came up empty-handed.
That’s when she realized: “I can put together something meaningful and helpful for people going through divorce.”
From the moment participants arrived at Camp Tawonga near Yosemite, they knew this would be no ordinary Jewish retreat. At the opening event, all of the facilitators, several clergy members and a therapist shared their own divorce stories, “to set the standard and normalize vulnerability, transparent sharing and establish that we all know what it’s like to have a marriage end,” Newbrun said.
Most participants were from the Bay Area, with a handful from farther afield. They were in different life stages, from those in their 30s dealing with custody battles over young children, to empty nesters in their 60s. Some had separated from their partners years ago, while others had gone their separate ways more recently. Some split amicably; a good many did not. But all had come up against a lack of Jewish resources or support when navigating this major life passage.
Rabbi Deborah Newbrun, the founder of Divorce and Discovery at the recent weekend. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Jaye said she left no stone unturned in seeking out support, an experience Newbrun said she heard echoed by many participants. Jaye attended a retreat at a local meditation center. She read self-help books. She joined a support group for divorcees. She went to therapy.
And while they all helped in different ways, none was specifically Jewish.
“I knew I needed some kind of spiritual way forward,” she said. “I needed to do this in my own language, with my own people.”
Even though the retreat came nearly a decade years after Jaye’s divorce, “it was profound. It felt like coming home, and that this is what I needed all along. This model could be extremely powerful. The rituals we did could be taught in rabbinical schools or to Jewish educators so it’s not just ‘sign this get and goodbye,’” she said, referring to the Jewish divorce document.
Rather than create new rituals, Newbrun and her facilitators took familiar Jewish rituals and retooled them.
The tashlich ritual, led by Newbrun and Maggid Jhos Singer, had a call-and-response portion, and participants also could call out what they personally wanted to cast off. “One person ‘tashliched’ their wedding ring into the river and felt it was such a perfect place to let it go!” said Newbrun.
An optional immersion in the Tuolumne River followed. Jaye, who years ago went to the mikvah alone, with only the attendant there for support, said there was no comparison with how much more healing it felt performing the ritual in community.
A session on sitting shiva for one’s marriage, led by Rabbi Sue Reinhold, allowed participants to share and mourn the loss of what they missed most about being married. That resonated for Robyn Lieberman, who does not attend synagogue services but went to every session at the retreat on innovating Jewish rituals.
“I did need to mourn what I’m losing,” said Lieberman, who had been married to an Israeli. “We had a very public, open house around Jewish religion, and a constant Israeli identity, which fulfilled my Jewish needs.”
Rabbi Jennie Chabon of Congregation B’nai Tikvah in Walnut Creek reflected on how much time she has spent with couples preparing for their wedding day, both in premarital counseling and in planning the event, and on how many marriage-related topics are covered in rabbinical school.
“And when it comes to divorce? Nothing,” Chabon said. “We’re all out here on our own trying to figure out how to wander through it.”
She was tasked with creating a havdalah ceremony with a divorce theme, in which she reimagined the wine, spices and flame typically used to mark a division between Shabbat and the rest of the week.
“There’s a fire that burns within each of us, and that flame doesn’t go out,” said Chabon, 47. “When you’re married for a long time, your identity, energy and spirit is so woven into that of another.” Her ritual was meant to affirm that “you are on fire just as you are, and you’re a blessing as an individual in the world. You don’t need a partnership or family to be whole.”
Even the Shabbat Torah service was on theme.
Rabbi Jennie Chabon reads from the Torah during a service at the Divorce and Discovery retreat. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Rather than focusing on Noah’s emergence from the ark after the flood, Chabon spoke about a lesser-known section of the week’s Torah portion, in which Noah builds a fire and offers a sacrifice to God. But if the entire earth was drenched from the flood, Chabon asked, what did he burn?
“The answer is he must have burned the ark,” Chabon said in recalling her talk at the retreat. “What does that mean for people going through this incredibly painful and tender time in their lives, when what was once a safe container and secure and protected them, they have to burn it down in order to start life anew?
“This is a perfect rebirth metaphor. But what’s being birthed is a new self and a new identity in the world as a single person,” Chabon said. “You have to release and let go of what was to make room for the blessing for who you’re going to become.”
At a ritual “hackathon” workshop presented by Newbrun, participants suggested standing during Kaddish at synagogue to mourn their marriages, and offering their children a Friday night blessing that they are whole whether they are at either parent’s home.
Not all of the sessions centered on Jewish ritual. In a session on the Japanese art of kintsugi, or mending broken pottery, attendees made vessels whose cracks they fixed with putty, symbolizing that beauty can be found in imperfection. Many danced in a Saturday-night silent disco.
Everyone was assigned to a small group, or havurah, that they met with daily, so they could establish deeper connections within the larger cohort.
“To have gone through some of these practices was very meaningful to me,” said Lieberman. “It’s not like I put a seal on my marriage and wrapped it up in a bow and put it behind me, but it was a nice catharsis for completing a transition that I’ve been very thoughtful about.”
Newbrun aims to recreate the retreat in communities around the country. Both Jaye and Lieberman said they found value in being in community with people “who get it,” without the judgment they often face.
“I was a little skeptical that all I’d have in common with people was that we were Jewish and divorced, and that that wouldn’t be enough for me to form a relationship,” said Lieberman. “But having the willingness to talk about it and explore it did open up a lot of very vulnerable conversations. The expert facilitation really made us think about the fact that divorce is not about your paper [certificate], it’s about reexamining the direction of your life and who you want to be.”
A version of this piece originally ran in J. The Jewish News of Northern California, and is reprinted with permission.
—
The post Jewish marriage rites are robust. Now a rabbi is innovating rituals for Jews who divorce. appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
Uncategorized
Pope Urges Angola to Overcome Divisions at Mass Attended by 100,000 People
Pope Leo XIV arrives to lead a Holy Mass during his apostolic journey in Africa, in Kilamba, Luanda province, Angola, April 19, 2026. REUTERS/Guglielmo Mangiapane
Pope Leo urged Angolans on Sunday to overcome divisions after decades of bloody conflict in an address to an estimated 100,000 people who flocked to a Mass in a dirt field near the capital Luanda.
In one of the biggest events of his four-nation Africa tour, the pope called Angola, which experienced a bloody, 27-year civil war from 1975 to 2002, a “beautiful yet wounded country.”
He urged Angolans to “build together a country where old divisions are overcome once and for all, where hatred and violence disappear.”
At the end of the Mass, the pope decried the recent ramp-up in the Ukraine war, calling “for the weapons to fall silent and for the path of dialogue to be followed.”
He also praised the ceasefire between Israel and Lebanon, to end fighting between Israeli forces and Iran-backed Hezbollah, as a “reason for hope.”
Believers began arriving before dawn at Kilamba, a sprawling housing complex, braving hot and humid conditions to hear the address from the pope, who has become outspoken on war and inequality and angered US President Donald Trump.
By the time the Mass began, throngs of people filled the site, dancing and shouting as Leo drove through in his white popemobile.
Among those welcoming Leo was Sister Christina Matende, who arrived around 6 a.m. (0500 GMT) for the Mass.
“The pope coming here is a joy,” she said. “We are living in a moment of a lot of difficulties.”
Angola is one of the leading oil-producing countries in sub-Saharan Africa, but its population of 36.6 million people is still confronting extreme poverty, with more than 30% living on less than $2.15 per day, according to the World Bank.
More than half of the country identifies as Catholic.
POPE DENOUNCES ‘DESPOTS AND TYRANTS’
Leo, the first US pope, is visiting Angola on the third leg of a four-nation Africa tour. In a speech to the country’s political leaders on Saturday, he decried the exploitation of natural resources on the continent.
The pope blasted “despots and tyrants” who he said guarantee wealth but do not deliver on their promises, leading to suffering and deaths.
He also urged political leaders to focus on helping all their people, and not just corporate interests.
“History will then vindicate you, even if in the near term some may oppose you,” he said.
Anielka Caliata, 25, who was in the crowd waiting for the pope in Kilamba on Sunday, said she was grateful for the way the pope has debuted a forceful speaking style on his Africa tour.
“Our country needs a lot of this message and I think the pope will help us to think and reflect about that, knowing that all of us need to work together and do our best to have peace,” she said, as she stood with her fiancé and parents.
Uncategorized
UK Police Examine Iran Links to Arson Attacks on Jewish Targets
FILE PHOTO: Chief Rabbi Ephraim Mirvis visits the scene after four ambulances belonging to Hatzola, a Jewish community organisation, were set on fire in an incident that the police say is being treated as an antisemitic hate crime, in northwest London, Britain, March 23, 2026. REUTERS/Hannah McKay/File Photo
British police said they are investigating possible Iran links to a series of arson attacks on Jewish targets in London, which the UK chief rabbi said showed a sustained campaign of violence against the Jewish community was gathering momentum.
After the latest attack, at Kenton United Synagogue in the Harrow area of the city shortly after midnight, the third such incident in a week, UK counter-terrorism police said they were heading up investigations into the incidents.
A pro-Iranian government group, which says it is also behind a spate of attacks across Europe on US, Israeli and Jewish targets, has said it was responsible.
“As the conflict in the Middle East continues to evolve, counter-terrorism policing and our partners remain alive to the threat of Iranian hostile activity in the UK,” Vicki Evans, Britain’s senior national coordinator for Counter Terrorism Policing, told reporters.
“We are aware of public reporting that suggests this group may have links to Iran. As you would expect, we will continue to explore that question as our investigation evolves.”
‘SUSTAINED CAMPAIGN OF VIOLENCE’
Chief Rabbi Ephraim Mirvis said the Kenton fire, which did not cause any significant damage, was the third “cowardly” attack on Jewish sites in the British capital in less than a week.
“A sustained campaign of violence and intimidation against the Jewish community of the UK is gathering momentum,” Mirvis said on X. “Thank God, no lives have been lost, but we cannot, and must not, wait for that to change before we understand just how dangerous this moment is for all of our society.”
On Friday night, there was an attempted arson attack on a business premises with links to the Jewish community, while a few days earlier police arrested two suspects over an attempted arson attack on another synagogue in the capital.
Meanwhile an area around the Israeli embassy in London was cordoned off following an online report that it had been targeted with drones carrying “dangerous substances.” Police later said items they found did not contain any harmful or hazardous substances.
Last month, several ambulances belonging to the Jewish volunteer emergency service Hatzola, which were parked near a synagogue in Golders Green, were torched.
Police said they had boosted their presence in the area, and it was officers on a “deterrence” patrol shortly after midnight who spotted a window at the Kenton synagogue had been damaged. They found an accelerant had been thrown inside.
British Prime Minister Keir Starmer said he was appalled by the attempted antisemitic arson attacks. “This is abhorrent and it will not be tolerated. Attacks on our Jewish community are attacks on Britain,” he wrote on X.
PRO-IRANIAN GROUP CLAIMS RESPONSIBILITY
The Pro-Iranian group Harakat Ashab al-Yamin al-Islamiyya (HAYI) or Movement of the Companions of the Right Hand of Islam, has said it is responsible, and posted a video purporting to show the attack on the Kenton synagogue on social media.
“This same group has claimed several incidents over recent months at places of worship, business and financial institutions across Europe,” Evans said. “These locations all appear to be linked to Jewish or Israeli interests.”
British police and security services have warned for a number of years of Iran hiring proxies to carry out attacks on its behalf. Last month, two men were charged with being tasked by Tehran to carry out hostile surveillance on the Israeli Embassy and other Jewish targets.
“This is recruiting violence as a service, and the people who conduct that violence often have little or no allegiance to the cause and are taking quick cash for their crimes,” Evans said.
Uncategorized
Trump Says US Delegation to Go to Pakistan for Iran Talks, Threatens New Strikes
Ships and tankers in the Strait of Hormuz off the coast of Musandam, Oman, April 18, 2026. Photo: REUTERS/Stringer/File Photo
US President Donald Trump said on Sunday his envoys would return to Pakistan for new talks with Iran, while threatening new attacks on Iran’s bridges and power plants unless it accepts his terms.
Trump said the US delegation would arrive on Monday evening, a timetable that leaves just a day for talks to make progress before a two-week ceasefire ends.
“We’re offering a very fair and reasonable DEAL, and I hope they take it because, if they don’t, the United States is going to knock out every single Power Plant, and every single Bridge, in Iran,” he posted on social media. “NO MORE MR. NICE GUY!”
However, there was no immediate confirmation from Iran that it would attend any new talks. Iran’s Tasnim news agency reported that there had been no decision taken to send a delegation while a US blockade of Iranian ports was in place.
A White House official said the US delegation would be headed by Vice President JD Vance, who led the war’s first peace talks a week ago. Trump’s envoy Steve Kushner and the president’s son-in-law Jared Kushner would also attend. Earlier, Trump had told ABC News and MS Now that Vance would not go.
Iran’s chief negotiator, Mohammad Baqer Qalibaf, earlier said the two sides had made progress but were still far apart on nuclear issues and the Strait of Hormuz.
The vital shipping strait remained closed on Sunday, a day after Iran fired on two vessels that tried to cross.
Iran, which has blocked off the strait to ships apart from its own since the United States and Israel attacked on February 28, had announced on Friday it would reopen it. But it reversed that decision on Saturday after Trump declined to lift a US blockade of Iranian ports.
“Iran decided to fire bullets yesterday in the Strait of Hormuz — A Total Violation of our Ceasefire Agreement!” Trump wrote in Sunday morning’s post. “That wasn’t nice, was it?”
STRAIT OF HORMUZ STILL SHUT
Trump’s renewed threat to hit Iran’s power plants and bridges fits a pattern of such warnings throughout the war, several of which preceded moves to de-escalate. He abruptly announced the ceasefire two weeks ago just hours after declaring that Iran’s “whole civilization will die tonight.”
Iran has said that if the United States attacks its civilian infrastructure it would hit power stations and desalination plants of Gulf Arab neighbors.
Now in its eighth week, the war has created the most severe shock to global energy supplies in history, sending oil prices surging because of the de facto closure of the strait, which before the war carried one-fifth of the world’s oil shipments.
Two liquefied petroleum gas tankers were seen on ship-tracking websites moving eastbound towards the strait early on Sunday morning, but the semi-official Tasnim news agency reported that Iran’s armed forces turned them back. Marine traffic data showed no other movements after midnight.
Friday’s announcement that the strait would reopen caused the sharpest one-day drop in oil prices in years, while stock markets hit fresh all-time highs on the expectation that the disruption would soon end. But with the strait yet to reopen, markets could face new volatility when they reopen on Monday.
Amrita Sen, founder of the Energy Aspects think tank, predicted oil prices would rise on Monday when traders returned to their desks having realized they might have been prematurely optimistic last week.
“Events over the weekend with Iran firing on merchant vessels and shutting the strait again highlight just how precarious the situation is,” she said.
Thousands of people have been killed by US-Israeli strikes on Iran and in an Israeli invasion of Lebanon conducted in parallel. Iran responded to attacks with missiles and drones against its Arab neighbors that host US bases.
PAKISTANI CAPITAL LOCKS DOWN FOR TALKS
Two giant US C-17 cargo planes landed at Pakistan’s Nur Khan air base on Sunday afternoon carrying security equipment and vehicles in preparation for the US delegation’s arrival, two Pakistani security sources said.
City authorities in the capital Islamabad halted public transport and heavy goods traffic through the city. Rolls of barbed wire were rolled out near the Serena Hotel where last week’s talks were held. The hotel told all guests on Sunday to leave.
Pressure for a way out of the war has mounted on Trump as his fellow Republicans prepare to defend narrow majorities in Congress in the November midterm elections, with US gasoline prices high, inflation rising and his own approval ratings down.
When US and Iranian negotiators met last weekend in Islamabad, Washington proposed a 20-year suspension of all Iranian nuclear activity, while Iran suggested a halt of 3 to 5 years, according to people familiar with the proposals.
A statement from Iran’s Supreme Leader Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei said Iran’s navy was ready to inflict “new bitter defeats” on its enemies.
Apart from the two-week ceasefire in the Iran war set to expire early on Wednesday, Israel and Lebanon announced a separate ceasefire last week.
More than a million Lebanese were displaced by the Israeli invasion, which Israel said was in pursuit of Hezbollah, a powerful Shi’ite armed group allied with Iran that fired across the border in support of Tehran.
A French soldier serving in a U.N. peacekeeping mission in Lebanon was killed, and three personnel from the mission were wounded, two of them severely, in an incident U.N. officials said was probably caused by Hezbollah fire. An Israeli soldier was also killed in a separate incident, the Israeli military said.