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Jewish marriage rites are robust. Now a rabbi is innovating rituals for Jews who divorce.

(J. The Jewish News of Northern California via JTA) — For Lyssa Jaye, throwing the wood chips into the Tuolumne River felt in many ways familiar to the tashlich ritual performed on Rosh Hashanah. But rather than casting off her sins, she was tossing away feelings: shame, resentment, anger.

They were the emotions that had taken residence inside Jaye since her divorce eight years ago, along with a sense of failure. And she had come to a Jewish retreat to rid herself of them.

“I’ve been carrying around these feelings for years now,” Jaye said. “I have a completely different life now, and I needed to let them go.”

Jaye was taking part in Divorce & Discovery: A Jewish Healing Retreat, the first-ever gathering in a series conceived by Rabbi Deborah Newbrun as part of her training, held this month at Camp Tawonga in the Bay Area.

One of the requirements at the Pluralistic Rabbinical Seminary, where Newbrun was ordained last year in the first graduating class, “was that each of us had to do an innovation, or something that didn’t exist before,” she said.

Newbrun, who directed Camp Tawonga for more than two decades, has been recognized for innovative programming for such achievements as initiating Tawonga’s LGBT family camp and founding its wilderness department. She even won a prestigious 2018 Covenant Award for Jewish educators. But as she started thinking about how to fulfill the seminary requirement, her first thought was, “I don’t have any ideas left in me.”

Then she began reflecting back on her divorce years earlier. She remembered how she had approached numerous rabbis and colleagues in search of Jewish support around the grief she felt. And how they all came up empty-handed.

That’s when she realized: “I can put together something meaningful and helpful for people going through divorce.”

From the moment participants arrived at Camp Tawonga near Yosemite, they knew this would be no ordinary Jewish retreat. At the opening event, all of the facilitators, several clergy members and a therapist shared their own divorce stories, “to set the standard and normalize vulnerability, transparent sharing and establish that we all know what it’s like to have a marriage end,” Newbrun said.

Most participants were from the Bay Area, with a handful from farther afield. They were in different life stages, from those in their 30s dealing with custody battles over young children, to empty nesters in their 60s. Some had separated from their partners years ago, while others had gone their separate ways more recently. Some split amicably; a good many did not. But all had come up against a lack of Jewish resources or support when navigating this major life passage.

Rabbi Deborah Newbrun, the founder of Divorce and Discovery at the recent weekend. (Photo/Margot Yecies)

Jaye said she left no stone unturned in seeking out support, an experience Newbrun said she heard echoed by many participants. Jaye attended a retreat at a local meditation center. She read self-help books. She joined a support group for divorcees. She went to therapy.

And while they all helped in different ways, none was specifically Jewish.

“I knew I needed some kind of spiritual way forward,” she said. “I needed to do this in my own language, with my own people.”

Even though the retreat came nearly a decade years after Jaye’s divorce, “it was profound. It felt like coming home, and that this is what I needed all along. This model could be extremely powerful. The rituals we did could be taught in rabbinical schools or to Jewish educators so it’s not just ‘sign this get and goodbye,’” she said, referring to the Jewish divorce document.

Rather than create new rituals, Newbrun and her facilitators took familiar Jewish rituals and retooled them.

The tashlich ritual, led by Newbrun and Maggid Jhos Singer, had a call-and-response portion, and participants also could call out what they personally wanted to cast off. “One person ‘tashliched’ their wedding ring into the river and felt it was such a perfect place to let it go!” said Newbrun. 

An optional immersion in the Tuolumne River followed. Jaye, who years ago went to the mikvah alone, with only the attendant there for support, said there was no comparison with how much more healing it felt performing the ritual in community.

A session on sitting shiva for one’s marriage, led by Rabbi Sue Reinhold, allowed participants to share and mourn the loss of what they missed most about being married. That resonated for Robyn Lieberman, who does not attend synagogue services but went to every session at the retreat on innovating Jewish rituals.

“I did need to mourn what I’m losing,” said Lieberman, who had been married to an Israeli. “We had a very public, open house around Jewish religion, and a constant Israeli identity, which fulfilled my Jewish needs.”

Rabbi Jennie Chabon of Congregation B’nai Tikvah in Walnut Creek reflected on how much time she has spent with couples preparing for their wedding day, both in premarital counseling and in planning the event, and on how many marriage-related topics are covered in rabbinical school.

“And when it comes to divorce? Nothing,” Chabon said. “We’re all out here on our own trying to figure out how to wander through it.”

She was tasked with creating a havdalah ceremony with a divorce theme, in which she reimagined the wine, spices and flame typically used to mark a division between Shabbat and the rest of the week.

“There’s a fire that burns within each of us, and that flame doesn’t go out,” said Chabon, 47. “When you’re married for a long time, your identity, energy and spirit is so woven into that of another.” Her ritual was meant to affirm that “you are on fire just as you are, and you’re a blessing as an individual in the world. You don’t need a partnership or family to be whole.”

Even the Shabbat Torah service was on theme.

Rabbi Jennie Chabon reads from the Torah during a service at the Divorce and Discovery retreat. (Photo/Margot Yecies)

Rather than focusing on Noah’s emergence from the ark after the flood, Chabon spoke about a lesser-known section of the week’s Torah portion, in which Noah builds a fire and offers a sacrifice to God. But if the entire earth was drenched from the flood, Chabon asked, what did he burn?

“The answer is he must have burned the ark,” Chabon said in recalling her talk at the retreat. “What does that mean for people going through this incredibly painful and tender time in their lives, when what was once a safe container and secure and protected them, they have to burn it down in order to start life anew?

“This is a perfect rebirth metaphor. But what’s being birthed is a new self and a new identity in the world as a single person,” Chabon said. “You have to release and let go of what was to make room for the blessing for who you’re going to become.”

At a ritual “hackathon” workshop presented by Newbrun, participants suggested standing during Kaddish at synagogue to mourn their marriages, and offering their children a Friday night blessing that they are whole whether they are at either parent’s home.

Not all of the sessions centered on Jewish ritual. In a session on the Japanese art of kintsugi, or mending broken pottery, attendees made vessels whose cracks they fixed with putty, symbolizing that beauty can be found in imperfection. Many danced in a Saturday-night silent disco.

Everyone was assigned to a small group, or havurah, that they met with daily, so they could establish deeper connections within the larger cohort.

“To have gone through some of these practices was very meaningful to me,” said Lieberman. “It’s not like I put a seal on my marriage and wrapped it up in a bow and put it behind me, but it was a nice catharsis for completing a transition that I’ve been very thoughtful about.”

Newbrun aims to recreate the retreat in communities around the country. Both Jaye and Lieberman said they found value in being in community with people “who get it,” without the judgment they often face.

“I was a little skeptical that all I’d have in common with people was that we were Jewish and divorced, and that that wouldn’t be enough for me to form a relationship,” said Lieberman. “But having the willingness to talk about it and explore it did open up a lot of very vulnerable conversations. The expert facilitation really made us think about the fact that divorce is not about your paper [certificate], it’s about reexamining the direction of your life and who you want to be.”

A version of this piece originally ran in J. The Jewish News of Northern California, and is reprinted with permission.


The post Jewish marriage rites are robust. Now a rabbi is innovating rituals for Jews who divorce. appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.

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When roast goose was a Hanukkah delicacy, and latkes were fried in its schmaltz

As someone who grew up with the tradition of eating potato latkes with smetene, or sour cream, I was completely thrown when I first read Sholem Aleichem’s storyKhanike-gelt,” about the gifts of money traditionally given on Hanukkah.

In the story, a boy in a shtetl describes what the first night of Hanukkah was like at his house. Near the beginning, the father tells his two young sons to go call their mother from the kitchen so that she can hear him bless the Hanukkah candles.

“Mama, quick, time to light the Hanukkah candles!”

“Oy, Hanukkah candles!” Mama exclaimed, tossed aside her utensils (she had slaughtered geese, was frying the goose fat and was making leavened latkes) and hurried into the living room, with Brayne the cook close behind.

I remember wondering: How could she make latkes with goose fat — schmaltz, in Yiddish — when this Hanukkah delicacy is supposed to be eaten with sour cream? After all, there’s no mixing meat and milk in a kosher home.

As it turns out, eating latkes with sour cream wasn’t nearly as popular in the shtetl as having them fried in goose fat. Accounts from the 19th and early 20th centuries report that geese were confined and force-fed during the autumn to fatten them up, Yiddish folklore scholar Barbara Kirshenblatt-Gimblett wrote in this YIVO article.

Goose market in Kraków. Engraving by Alois Schönn, 1869 Courtesy of YIVO / Moldovan Family Collection

“They were slaughtered before Hanukkah in order to render enough fat to last through the winter, when butter was scarce. The thick goose skins were rendered with the fat, which was later strained; the cracklings, grivn (or grieven or gribenes), a great delicacy, were stored separately,” Kirshenblatt-Gimblett explained.

Not only were Hanukkah pancakes and fritters fried in goose fat; goose fat was also rendered for Passover at this time and Passover utensils were specially taken out of storage for the purpose.

Some people even made a living selling kosher-for-Passover goose fat, as described in another Sholem Aleichem story, “Gendz” (Geese), a monologue by a woman, Basye, who sells living geese and goose fat. In it, she describes, amid various humorous digressions typical of Sholem Aleichem’s stories, her tough life and the struggles of Jewish women in general.

“Geese famously render lots of schmaltz,” Yiddish food scholar Eve Jochnowitz told me. “Early winter is when they were likely to be slaughtered to provide meat and oil that would serve for the holiday and stay frozen all winter, thanks to the cold.” In fact, she added, a sandwich of goose fat and grated radishes was a beloved snack among the shtetl Jews.

Roasted goose was a traditional holiday entree during the Middle Ages among Jews living in the Rhineland and Eastern Europe, wrote food writer Ronnie Fein. Even the Talmudist Rabbi David Halevi (also known as the “Taz”) noted that goose grivn was a gift given to those who were honored within the community.

In a New York Times article about Hanukkah goose, Gefilteria co-founder Jeffrey Yoskowitz wrote that, on the shabbos of Hanukkah, well-to-d0 Jews would host a feast with roast goose, latkes fried in its schmaltz and most likely pickled vegetables. He quoted the French food writer Édouard de Pomiane, who wrote in 1929 that the goose was a “beneficent animal” for the Jews of Poland as it supplied so much to a household, including feathers for bedding, flesh for roasting and fats for rendering.

And Michael Wex writes in his book Rhapsody in Schmaltz, that the smell of smoking goose fat became the traditional “scent” of Hanukkah.

Ashkenazi Jews who immigrated to the United States often brought the tradition of Hanukkah geese along with them. In her book 97 Orchard: An Edible History of Five Immigrant Families in One New York Tenement, Jane Ziegelman said that many 19th century Jewish homemakers raised geese on the Lower East Side, just as they did in the Old Country. But now, they did it in tenement yards and basements, a practice surely disapproved of by sanitary inspectors.

On Hanukkah, she writes, these makeshift goose farms were at their busiest. Restaurants even put up signs reading “Goose liver is here.”

But New York Jewish immigrants weren’t the only ones raising geese. In this home movie, filmed about 1928, shared by Cindra Sereghy-Scull, you can see geese outside her late Aunt Vilma’s home in Cleveland, Ohio.

Chances are, one of those geese was served for Hanukkah dinner that year.

 

The post When roast goose was a Hanukkah delicacy, and latkes were fried in its schmaltz appeared first on The Forward.

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Surprise, we’re going to Auschwitz! What happens when an influencer stumbles upon a Holocaust memorial

Online lifestyle influencers generally produce relatively interchangeable videos in predictable genres: unboxing clothes, makeup tutorials, relationship content. That’s what Radhica Isac thought she was sharing when she posted a video presenting her boyfriend with a surprise for his 30th birthday. Except that viewers were horrified by the gift.

In the video, which got 7.4 million views on TikTok, Isac gives her boyfriend, Matty Taylor, a fancy birthday cake — the gift is hidden inside. Taylor lifts off a piece of the icing to reveal a slip of paper, which he holds up for the camera, grinning. “We’re going to Auschwitz!” it says.

There’s obviously a lot to feel weird about here. A trip to a concentration camp hidden inside a cake as a romantic surprise is certainly an unusual framing of the violent history of the Holocaust. And Taylor is wearing a Hugo Boss sweater — a German company that was run by an active member of the Nazi party and famously produced SS uniforms using forced labor from the camps — which feels incredibly on the nose.

“I clearly thought it’s a sweet thoughtful video,” Isac, 25, told me over a video call. “I was very much clueless because I myself am not a history fan. And I don’t know much about history, so for me it was pretty much just a thoughtful present for my boyfriend that really wanted to go there. I was completely oblivious.”

When she looked through the comments on her post, where shocked viewers sharply criticized every detail, she ended up seeing photos of the camps, the brutality of which she said shocked both her and her boyfriend. Previously, the only thing she knew about Auschwitz was that “a lot of people have died in the past in there.”

That simple fact does not make Auschwitz so different from the other sites her boyfriend, a history buff with family she said fought for the U.K. in World War II, wants to visit; people died in the Battle of the Bulge, Normandy and in Pompeii too. (That last destination she described as “not very similar but similar in a way” to Auschwitz.) She said she didn’t know anything about the Holocaust.

“Obviously, when I started reading the comments, I started seeing their point of view,” she said. But she also defended the video: “My excitement had nothing to do with the place itself, and the celebration wasn’t about Auschwitz.”

This is an understandable take. It is a nice thing to plan a dream trip for your romantic partner. And there is nothing inherently wrong with wanting to go to Auschwitz. Lots of Jews and non-Jews alike pilgrimage to the camp to better understand the history of the atrocities, to feel close to lost family members and to take part in reinforcing the mantra of “never again.” It’s generally considered an important part of keeping the memory of the Holocaust alive.

It’s just that usually, these trips are a somber occasion, not paired with clapping and a festive sparkler like the one stuck in the birthday cake.

Isac is far from the first to see Auschwitz as a travel destination — people have been taking selfies and doing photo shoots on the train tracks into the camp and at Holocaust memorials for years. It’s something plenty of people find tawdry and upsetting, but others think is fine — after all, they’re going to the camps, presumably learning, and sharing some sort of information. Even amidst the criticism, plenty of commenters who did know about the Holocaust told Isac her gift was a good one, and approved of the video.

But there’s an effect to turning the Holocaust into a bit of social media fodder, regardless of the sincerity of the intention: It normalizes and commodifies the camps and, by extension, the history they commemorate, turning them into just another backdrop, another way to brag or show off a piece of aspirational life. It flattens the uniqueness of the history — the mechanical targeted slaughter becomes one of many historical destinations.

There’s no dearth of Holocaust education; it is part of nearly every curriculum in the U.S. (Isac said she thinks it was also part of her lessons in Moldova, had she been paying attention, but she said she was a bad student. “I was busy hanging out with friends and stuff and talking in lessons,” she told me.) There’s a cottage industry of novels, movies and TV shows, aimed at all ages, delving into the history.

This knowledge is, according to many educators and experts, one of the main ways to fight antisemitism, fascism and hate. When politicians and public figures — Kanye West, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Elon Musk — are accused of antisemitism, one of the first orders of business as part of their apology tour is to visit a Holocaust museum or take a trip to a concentration camp to publicly repent and better understand the impact of their words. But something isn’t clicking.

Musk and Greene both made visits to Auschwitz and the U.S. Holocaust Memorial respectively. (West turned down an invite.) Nevertheless, Greene voted against the Antisemitism Awareness Act because, she said, she wants to be able to continue to say that Jews killed Jesus. And Musk has continued to share antisemitic conspiracy theories on X since his visit to Auschwitz. In retrospect, the visits appear to have been more of an efficient way to launder their reputations than a true act of contrition.

That is, one has to imagine, how we arrive at a moment in which Isac — who told me she wants to be a beauty and fashion influencer — came to assume her video about Auschwitz would land just as well as all her usual videos, with compliments and sweet notes. “Let me know what you think of this surprise idea!” she says cheerfully at the end of the birthday video.

Speaking to the influencer, it seems clear that her video wasn’t malicious. The trip will be educational, and she said she is glad that she has already learned a lot through the comments on her video.

Still, the aesthetics framing Auschwitz as a destination, just one aspirational piece of advertising amidst a stream of posts about the best skincare serum or lip gloss, effectively turns the site of a singular atrocity into an interchangeable bit of aspirational #couplegoals lifestyle content. And when history starts to feel replaceable, that’s when it begins to be forgettable too.

This isn’t Isac’s fault; she’s just part of a trend that’s already underway. After all, a good number of people approved of her gift, and didn’t see anything wrong with the aesthetics of the video. For her part, the influencer said she won’t delete the video — though she also said she wouldn’t have presented the gift the same way if she had known more. But, she said, “what’s done is done” — and, she still thinks the video is sweet.

“I am proud that he does want to remember these things and he wants to know more,” she said. “Not everybody wants expensive things like trips to Bali and the Maldives. Someone might enjoy a historic place to visit.”

The post Surprise, we’re going to Auschwitz! What happens when an influencer stumbles upon a Holocaust memorial appeared first on The Forward.

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China Expresses Outrage Over Senior Taiwanese Official’s Reported Trip to Israel

A Taiwan flag can be seen on an overpass ahead of National Day celebrations in Taipei, Taiwan, Oct. 8, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Ann Wang

China has strongly condemned a senior Taiwanese official’s reported secret trip to Israel, describing the issue of Taiwan as a “red line” for the Chinese government and warning the Jewish state not to send “wrong signals” to those pushing for the island’s independence.

The Reuters news agency reported on Thursday that Taiwan’s high-profile Deputy Foreign Minister Francois Wu made a recent, previously unpublicized visit to Israel, citing three sources familiar with the trip.

China considers Taiwan, a nearby island run by a democratic government, as a renegade Chinese province that must be reunited with the mainland — by force, if necessary. Due to pressure from Beijing, few countries have formal diplomatic ties with Taiwan. Israel only recognizes Beijing but not Taipei, which has been increasingly looking to Israel for defense cooperation.

Taiwanese diplomats travel abroad, but trips to countries such as Israel are rare.

The anonymous sources told Reuters that Wu had visited Israel in recent weeks. Two of the sources said the trip happened this month.

China responded with outrage to the reported trip.

“The one-China principle is the consensus of the international community and a basic norm of international relations,” China’s embassy in Israel said in a statement. “It is also the prerequisite and foundation for establishing and developing diplomatic ties between China and countries around the world, including Israel.”

The embassy then invoked the China-Israel Joint Communiqué on the Establishment of Diplomatic Relations, which states that Israel recognizes that the Chinese government “is the sole legal government representing the whole of China and that Taiwan is an inalienable part of the territory of the People’s Republic of China.”

Describing the issue of Taiwan as a “red line,” the embassy said it “firmly objects” to Israel’s reported contact with Taiwanese officials.

“The Taiwan question concerns China’s sovereignty and territorial integrity and constitutes an inviolable red line at the very core of China’s core interests,” the statement continued. “The Chinese side firmly objects to any form of official exchanges with the Taiwan authorities, which seriously violate the one-China principle. We once again urge the Israeli side to faithfully abide by the one-China principle, correct the erroneous actions, and stop sending any wrong signals to separatist forces advocating Taiwan independence, so as to uphold the overall interests of China-Israel relations through concrete actions.”

Taiwan’s foreign ministry has declined to comment on whether Wu visited Israel.

“Taiwan and Israel share the values of freedom and democracy, and will continue to pragmatically promote mutually beneficial exchanges and cooperation” in areas such as trade, technology and culture and welcome more “mutually beneficial forms of cooperation,” it said in a statement.

Israel‘s foreign ministry has similarly not commented on the matter.

An Israeli official told Israel Hayom that the visit took place but downplayed its importance. The official reportedly said that Wu met with two members of Israel’s parliament, known as the Knesset, from the Opposition and the Coalition. However, Israel’s Foreign Ministry boycotted the visit as part of its policy of non-confrontation with Beijing on the issue of Taiwan, according to the report.

Still, Taiwan views Israel as an important democratic partner and has been a strong backer of the Jewish state since the Palestinian terrorist group Hamas’s Oct. 7, 2023, invasion of and massacre across southern Israel, amid the ensuing war in Gaza.

In October of this year, Taiwanese President Lai Ching-te said that Israel is a model for Taiwan to learn from in strengthening its defenses, citing the Biblical story of David versus Goliath on the need to stand up to authoritarianism.

“The Taiwanese people often look to the example of the Jewish people when facing challenges to our international standing and threats to our sovereignty from China. The people of Taiwan have never become discouraged,” he said. “Israel’s determination and capacity to defend its territory provides a valuable model for Taiwan. I have always believed that Taiwan needs to channel the spirit of David against Goliath in standing up to authoritarian coercion.”

He made the remarks during a dinner of the American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC) in Taiwan.

That same month, Wu met in Taipei with Yinon Aaroni, Director General of Israel‘s Ministry of Welfare and Social Affairs, while in September Taiwan President Lai Ching-te met six Israeli lawmakers at his office.

Taiwan has a de facto embassy in Tel Aviv, while Israel has a similar representative office in Taipei. There is no similar arrangement between Taiwan and the Palestinians, with whom China has a close relationship. China recognized a Palestinian state in 1988. Taiwan has said it does not plan to recognize a Palestinian state.

Lai in October announced a new multi-layered air defense system called “T-Dome” to defend itself against a possible future attack by China. It is partly modeled on Israel‘s air defense system.

Lai told the AIPAC dinner that T-Dome had been inspired by Israel’s Iron Dome missile defense system, as well as US President Donald Trump’s “Golden Dome” missile defense shield.

“I believe that trilateral Taiwan-US-Israel cooperation can help achieve regional peace, stability, and prosperity,” he said.

The Chinese embassy’s statement chiding Israel this week came days after China slammed the Jewish state earlier this month for recently joining a United Nations declaration condemning Beijing’s human rights record.

Israel had endorsed a US-backed declaration, signed by 15 other countries — including the United Kingdom, Australia, and Japan — that expressed “deep and ongoing concerns” over human rights violations in China.

In a rare move, Jerusalem broke with its traditionally cautious approach to China — aimed at preserving diplomatic and economic ties — by signing on to the statement. The signatory countries denounced China’s repression of ethnic and religious minority groups, citing arbitrary detentions, forced labor, mass surveillance, and restrictions on cultural and religious expression.

According to the statement, minority groups — particularly Uyghurs, other Muslim communities, Christians, Tibetans, and Falun Gong practitioners — face targeted repression, including the separation of children from their families, torture, and the destruction of cultural heritage.

In response, China’s Foreign Ministry accused the signatories of “slandering and smearing” the country and interfering in its internal affairs “in serious violation of international law and basic norms of international relations.”

Meanwhile, Beijing continues to strengthen relations with Iran, whose Islamic government openly seeks Israel’s destruction, and expand its influence in the Middle East.

China, a key diplomatic and economic backer of Tehran, has moved to deepen ties with the regime in recent years, signing a 25-year cooperation agreement, holding joint naval drills, and continuing to purchase Iranian oil despite US sanctions.

China is the largest importer of Iranian oil, with nearly 90 percent of Iran’s crude and condensate exports going to Beijing.

Iran’s growing ties with China come at a time when Tehran faces mounting economic sanctions from Western powers, while Beijing itself is also under US sanctions.

According to some media reports, China may be even helping Iran rebuild its decimated air defenses following the 12-day war with Israel in June.

These diplomatic moves come amid an already tense relationship with China, strained since the start of the war in Gaza. In September, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu accused Beijing, along with Qatar, of funding a “media blockade” against the Jewish state.

At the time, the Chinese embassy in Israel dismissed such accusations, saying they “lack factual basis [and] harm China-Israel relations.”

That same month, however, the Institute for National Security Studies (INSS), an Israeli think tank, released a report showing China has increasingly used state media and covert campaigns to spread anti-Israel and antisemitic narratives in the United States.

The report examined how China’s state media portrays Israel and the United States as solely responsible for the war in Gaza, depicting them as destabilizing actors while spreading anti-Israel and antisemitic messages.

“It is evident that China and its proxies play a significant role in the current wave of antisemitism and anti-Israel sentiment in the United States,” Ofir Dayan, a research associate in the Israel-China Policy Center at INSS, wrote in the report.

According to Dayan, China’s dissemination of anti-Israel narratives is not intended to directly harm Israel but rather to undermine the US, while preserving its valuable diplomatic and economic ties with Jerusalem.

“Israel is used as a tool to advance Beijing’s claim that Washington destabilizes both the international system and the regions where it operates,” the report said.

While China’s primary aim is to target the United States, Israel ends up suffering “collateral damage” as a result, the study found.

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