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Jewish marriage rites are robust. Now a rabbi is innovating rituals for Jews who divorce.
(J. The Jewish News of Northern California via JTA) — For Lyssa Jaye, throwing the wood chips into the Tuolumne River felt in many ways familiar to the tashlich ritual performed on Rosh Hashanah. But rather than casting off her sins, she was tossing away feelings: shame, resentment, anger.
They were the emotions that had taken residence inside Jaye since her divorce eight years ago, along with a sense of failure. And she had come to a Jewish retreat to rid herself of them.
“I’ve been carrying around these feelings for years now,” Jaye said. “I have a completely different life now, and I needed to let them go.”
Jaye was taking part in Divorce & Discovery: A Jewish Healing Retreat, the first-ever gathering in a series conceived by Rabbi Deborah Newbrun as part of her training, held this month at Camp Tawonga in the Bay Area.
One of the requirements at the Pluralistic Rabbinical Seminary, where Newbrun was ordained last year in the first graduating class, “was that each of us had to do an innovation, or something that didn’t exist before,” she said.
Newbrun, who directed Camp Tawonga for more than two decades, has been recognized for innovative programming for such achievements as initiating Tawonga’s LGBT family camp and founding its wilderness department. She even won a prestigious 2018 Covenant Award for Jewish educators. But as she started thinking about how to fulfill the seminary requirement, her first thought was, “I don’t have any ideas left in me.”
Then she began reflecting back on her divorce years earlier. She remembered how she had approached numerous rabbis and colleagues in search of Jewish support around the grief she felt. And how they all came up empty-handed.
That’s when she realized: “I can put together something meaningful and helpful for people going through divorce.”
From the moment participants arrived at Camp Tawonga near Yosemite, they knew this would be no ordinary Jewish retreat. At the opening event, all of the facilitators, several clergy members and a therapist shared their own divorce stories, “to set the standard and normalize vulnerability, transparent sharing and establish that we all know what it’s like to have a marriage end,” Newbrun said.
Most participants were from the Bay Area, with a handful from farther afield. They were in different life stages, from those in their 30s dealing with custody battles over young children, to empty nesters in their 60s. Some had separated from their partners years ago, while others had gone their separate ways more recently. Some split amicably; a good many did not. But all had come up against a lack of Jewish resources or support when navigating this major life passage.
Rabbi Deborah Newbrun, the founder of Divorce and Discovery at the recent weekend. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Jaye said she left no stone unturned in seeking out support, an experience Newbrun said she heard echoed by many participants. Jaye attended a retreat at a local meditation center. She read self-help books. She joined a support group for divorcees. She went to therapy.
And while they all helped in different ways, none was specifically Jewish.
“I knew I needed some kind of spiritual way forward,” she said. “I needed to do this in my own language, with my own people.”
Even though the retreat came nearly a decade years after Jaye’s divorce, “it was profound. It felt like coming home, and that this is what I needed all along. This model could be extremely powerful. The rituals we did could be taught in rabbinical schools or to Jewish educators so it’s not just ‘sign this get and goodbye,’” she said, referring to the Jewish divorce document.
Rather than create new rituals, Newbrun and her facilitators took familiar Jewish rituals and retooled them.
The tashlich ritual, led by Newbrun and Maggid Jhos Singer, had a call-and-response portion, and participants also could call out what they personally wanted to cast off. “One person ‘tashliched’ their wedding ring into the river and felt it was such a perfect place to let it go!” said Newbrun.
An optional immersion in the Tuolumne River followed. Jaye, who years ago went to the mikvah alone, with only the attendant there for support, said there was no comparison with how much more healing it felt performing the ritual in community.
A session on sitting shiva for one’s marriage, led by Rabbi Sue Reinhold, allowed participants to share and mourn the loss of what they missed most about being married. That resonated for Robyn Lieberman, who does not attend synagogue services but went to every session at the retreat on innovating Jewish rituals.
“I did need to mourn what I’m losing,” said Lieberman, who had been married to an Israeli. “We had a very public, open house around Jewish religion, and a constant Israeli identity, which fulfilled my Jewish needs.”
Rabbi Jennie Chabon of Congregation B’nai Tikvah in Walnut Creek reflected on how much time she has spent with couples preparing for their wedding day, both in premarital counseling and in planning the event, and on how many marriage-related topics are covered in rabbinical school.
“And when it comes to divorce? Nothing,” Chabon said. “We’re all out here on our own trying to figure out how to wander through it.”
She was tasked with creating a havdalah ceremony with a divorce theme, in which she reimagined the wine, spices and flame typically used to mark a division between Shabbat and the rest of the week.
“There’s a fire that burns within each of us, and that flame doesn’t go out,” said Chabon, 47. “When you’re married for a long time, your identity, energy and spirit is so woven into that of another.” Her ritual was meant to affirm that “you are on fire just as you are, and you’re a blessing as an individual in the world. You don’t need a partnership or family to be whole.”
Even the Shabbat Torah service was on theme.
Rabbi Jennie Chabon reads from the Torah during a service at the Divorce and Discovery retreat. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Rather than focusing on Noah’s emergence from the ark after the flood, Chabon spoke about a lesser-known section of the week’s Torah portion, in which Noah builds a fire and offers a sacrifice to God. But if the entire earth was drenched from the flood, Chabon asked, what did he burn?
“The answer is he must have burned the ark,” Chabon said in recalling her talk at the retreat. “What does that mean for people going through this incredibly painful and tender time in their lives, when what was once a safe container and secure and protected them, they have to burn it down in order to start life anew?
“This is a perfect rebirth metaphor. But what’s being birthed is a new self and a new identity in the world as a single person,” Chabon said. “You have to release and let go of what was to make room for the blessing for who you’re going to become.”
At a ritual “hackathon” workshop presented by Newbrun, participants suggested standing during Kaddish at synagogue to mourn their marriages, and offering their children a Friday night blessing that they are whole whether they are at either parent’s home.
Not all of the sessions centered on Jewish ritual. In a session on the Japanese art of kintsugi, or mending broken pottery, attendees made vessels whose cracks they fixed with putty, symbolizing that beauty can be found in imperfection. Many danced in a Saturday-night silent disco.
Everyone was assigned to a small group, or havurah, that they met with daily, so they could establish deeper connections within the larger cohort.
“To have gone through some of these practices was very meaningful to me,” said Lieberman. “It’s not like I put a seal on my marriage and wrapped it up in a bow and put it behind me, but it was a nice catharsis for completing a transition that I’ve been very thoughtful about.”
Newbrun aims to recreate the retreat in communities around the country. Both Jaye and Lieberman said they found value in being in community with people “who get it,” without the judgment they often face.
“I was a little skeptical that all I’d have in common with people was that we were Jewish and divorced, and that that wouldn’t be enough for me to form a relationship,” said Lieberman. “But having the willingness to talk about it and explore it did open up a lot of very vulnerable conversations. The expert facilitation really made us think about the fact that divorce is not about your paper [certificate], it’s about reexamining the direction of your life and who you want to be.”
A version of this piece originally ran in J. The Jewish News of Northern California, and is reprinted with permission.
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Pope Leo Says Catholic Church ‘Unwavering’ in Its Opposition to ‘Every Form of Antisemitism’
Pope Leo XIV holds a Jubilee audience on the occasion of the Jubilee of Sport, at St. Peter’s Basilica, at the Vatican June 14, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Yara Nardi
Pope Leo XIV on Tuesday marked International Holocaust Remembrance Day with a statement reaffirming the Catholic Church’s “unwavering” opposition to antisemitism.
“On Holocaust Remembrance Day, I would like to recall that the Church remains faithful to the unwavering position of the Declaration #NostraAetate against every form of antisemitism,” the pope posted on the X social media platform. “The Church rejects any discrimination or harassment based on ethnicity, language, nationality, or religion.”
On Holocaust Remembrance Day, I would like to recall that the Church remains faithful to the unwavering position of the Declaration #NostraAetate against every form of antisemitism. The Church rejects any discrimination or harassment based on ethnicity, language, nationality, or…
— Pope Leo XIV (@Pontifex) January 27, 2026
The post concluded with a link to Nostra Aetate, a declaration from the Second Vatican Council and promulgated on Oct. 28, 1965, by Pope Paul VI that called for dialogue and respect between Christianity and other religions. The theological reform called for a position of Christian-Jewish brotherhood, advocating “the bond that spiritually ties the people of the New Covenant to Abraham’s stock.”
Leo offered his message opposing antisemitism as the Israeli Ministry of Diaspora Affairs and Combating antisemitism released its newest research into global hate against Jews.
The report documents 815 “serious” incidents around the world — including 21 murders of Jews — as well as 124 million antisemitic X postings and more than 4,000 anti-Israel demonstrations.
“On International Holocaust Remembrance Day, we are called not only to remember, but to act. The ministry stands alongside Jewish communities, monitors and collects information in real time, and pursues the perpetrators of antisemitism and hatred wherever they are,” Amichai Chikli, the Israeli minister of diaspora affairs and combating antisemitism, said in a statement.
Chikli urged a proactive strategy, arguing that “antisemitism is rising in various arenas – yet our responsibility is not to remain on the defensive, but to go on the offensive.”
Leo has repeatedly spoken out against antisemitism and promoted Nostra Aetate since he began his papacy last year.
In October, the pontiff condemned antisemitism and affirmed the Catholic Church’s commitment to combating hatred and persecution against the Jewish people, arguing his faith demands such a stance.
Speaking in St. Pete’s Square at the Vatican, Leo acknowledged the 60th anniversary of Nostra Aetate, saying, “I too confirm that the Church does not tolerate antisemitism and fights against it, on the basis of the Gospel itself.”
“This luminous document teaches us to meet the followers of other religions not as outsiders, but as traveling companions on the path of truth; to honor differences affirming our common humanity; and to discern, in every sincere religious search, a reflection of the one divine mystery that embraces all creation,” Leo continued.
He then added that the primary focus of Nostra Aetate was toward the Jewish people, explaining that Pope John XXIII, who preceded Paul VI, intended to “re-establish the original relationship.”
Nostra Aetate details the close bonds between Jews and Christians.
“The Church, therefore, cannot forget that she received the revelation of the Old Testament through the people with whom God in His inexpressible mercy concluded the Ancient Covenant,” the proclamation states. “Nor can she forget that she draws sustenance from the root of that well-cultivated olive tree onto which have been grafted the wild shoots, the Gentiles. Indeed, the Church believes that by His cross Christ, Our Peace, reconciled Jews and Gentiles making both one in Himself.”
The document also opposes antisemitism, proclaiming that “in her rejection of every persecution against any man, the Church, mindful of the patrimony she shares with the Jews and moved not by political reasons but by the Gospel’s spiritual love, decries hatred, persecutions, displays of antisemitism, directed against Jews at any time and by anyone.”
Jewish leaders have expressed optimism for interfaith relations under Leo’s leadership.
Rabbi Noam Marans, director of interreligious affairs at the American Jewish Committee (AJC), told The Algemeiner in May that “his remarks to the Jewish people have actually been extraordinary.”
At the time, just after being elected to the papacy, Leo met with Jewish leaders and other faith representatives at the Vatican. “Because of the Jewish roots of Christianity, all Christians have a special relationship with Judaism,” he said during the meeting. “Even in these difficult times, marked by conflicts and misunderstandings, it is necessary to continue the momentum of this precious dialogue of ours.”
Before the beginning of Leo’s pontificate, Israeli-Vatican relations had come under strain due to the late Pope Francis’s statements about the war to defeat Hamas in Gaza, including his suggestion that the Jewish state was committing genocide.
There has been a recent rise in promoting antisemitism among some Catholic podcasters and social media influencers, especially on the political right. Nick Fuentes, for example, has praised Adolf Hitler and even called for the extermination of Jewish people from American civilization.
The Anti-Defamation League (ADL) wrote that Fuentes “frequently makes his support known for the Traditionalist Catholic view that rejects the Nostra Aetate, the papal document that declared that modern Jews bear no guilt for the death of Christ.”
The ADL revealed that in March 2024 on Telegram, “Fuentes wrote that he and his followers ‘rightly defend the traditional Catholic view,’ blaming Jews for ‘crucifying our Lord.’”
Nostra Aetate explicitly rejects such rhetoric, stating that the death of Jesus cannot be charged “against all the Jews, without distinction, then alive, nor against the Jews of today.” It also states that “the Jews should not be presented as rejected or accursed by God, as if this followed from the Holy Scriptures.”
Recent Catholic convert Candace Owens, who joined the church in April 2024, has also used her platforms which enable her to influence millions of followers to demonize the Jewish people. A study released in December showed how Owens and fellow podcaster Tucker Carlson boosted their anti-Israel content last year.
US Vice President JD Vance also converted to Catholicism in recent years, joining the church in 2019. Vance has disputed the rise of antisemitism on the political right and failed to counter antisemitic statements when confronted with them in public settings. On Friday, Axios published secret recordings of US Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) telling donors last year that “Tucker created JD. JD is Tucker’s protégé, and they are one and the same.”
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Tim Walz: Get Anne Frank’s Name Out of Your Mouth
Former US Vice President and Democratic presidential candidate Kamala Harris and her running mate Minnesota Governor Tim Walz hold a campaign event in Eau Claire, Wisconsin, US, Aug. 7, 2024. Photo: REUTERS/Kevin Mohatt
Many Holocaust survivors I’ve interviewed have said it pains them when people compare anyone to Hitler and the Gestapo, or compare things to the Holocaust to try to get attention or make a political point.
They’ve also mentioned how people use Anne Frank’s name for political purposes, because most schoolchildren have read her diary.
Minnesota Governor Tim Walz (D), who, after a scandal involving alleged fraud in his state, announced he is not running for re-election, recently said the following: “We have got children hiding in their houses, afraid to go outside. Many of us grew up reading that story of Anne Frank…”
As January 27 is International Holocaust Remembrance Day, many, including Jews, will make false comparisons to the Holocaust, because they imagine this makes them noble and a fighter for social justice.
Anne Frank died in a concentration camp called Bergen-Belsen weeks before its liberation by British forces who found thousands of corpses and about 55,000 emaciated prisoners. The camp was of course run by Nazis. Frank hid in what was known as the annex in Amsterdam for 761 days. She had no option to be deported to another country safely, nor was she in Amsterdam illegally. She knew being discovered likely meant death.
I am sure illegal immigrants fear being deported and some legal immigrants may fear detention. Walz could have said that without invoking the name of Anne Frank. He did this because his goal is to paint Federal agents with a big red Nazi brush. It is also understandable that many are angry after a Federal agent shot Alex Pretti, with video footage showing Pretti did not brandish his gun, and Walz would be correct to rebuke Kristi Noem, Secretary of Homeland Security for her characterization of Pretti.
But it is important to know about communist propaganda.
In 1967, the Soviets realized there was a branding problem. The country regretted its support for Israel officially becoming a state in 1948, because it since had become a strong ally of America. The solution? The rebrand of Israel via Holocaust inversion.
Imagine! Those who rose from the ashes of the Holocaust had done so, only to become Nazis themselves. What a twist to the story! Israel would not be the David, but, rather, the Goliath.
It took some time, but by 1975, they passed Resolution 3379 at the United Nations, where the text stated that, “Zionism is a form of racism and racial discrimination.” Fifty years later, this effort has gone past their wildest dreams, with the help of Qatari funding. Most of the world lambasts Israel at every turn, blaming Israel as one of the world’s worst oppressors. Even those propagandists never thought there would be a day where Jews were called “Zio-Nazis.”
This is why Walz sees nothing wrong with a false Anne Frank comparison. Some Jews, blinded by their hatred of President Trump, don’t stop to think about the damage of false Nazi comparisons.
This does not mean one should not criticize any president or demand accountability. Sadly, people are captured by a narrative that is popular, and are not interested in much else.
A false comparison doesn’t strengthen a point, it only takes away credibility. When anyone makes any claim, you should ask: What is your evidence for that? If they don’t have it, you should tell them to use a correct phrase and retract a claim or characterization if it is false.
The reason false Nazi comparisons are a problem is that they have become a prominent component of antisemitism.
It is the Jewish way to fight against racism and to seek justice. But those who make false Holocaust comparisons dishonor the memories of those who died in the Holocaust.
The author is a writer based in New York.
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Soccer Clubs Around the World Mark International Holocaust Remembrance Day With Commemorative Events
FC Bayern and Munich FC Augsburg holding a poster to commemorate the Holocaust #WeRemember campaign. Photo: IMAGO/MIS via Reuters Connect
Soccer clubs around the world commemorated International Holocaust Remembrance Day on Tuesday by pledging to honor victims of Nazi persecution through campaigns, memorial events, and other gestures to show the importance of remembering the atrocities of World War II.
Germany’s professional leagues — including FC Bayern and Augsburg – held over the weekend a series of memorial events and matches across the country opened with a moment of silence dedicated to the #WeRemember campaign by the World Jewish Congress. The campaign aims to keep the memory of the Holocaust alive. This year’s Holocaust Remembrance Day marks the 81st anniversary of the liberation of the Auschwitz-Birkenau extermination camp in 1945.
Vor dem Spiel haben beide Mannschaften der Befreiung Auschwitz‘ gedacht. Im Stadion gab es eine Schweigeminute.#WeRemember #DSCKSV pic.twitter.com/U098DdMbiW
— Arminia ist wieder da (@arminiawiederda) January 23, 2026
In Italy, a commemorative ceremony in memory of Jewish Hungarian soccer player and coach Árpád Weisz was held Tuesday morning at Stadio Renato Dall’Ara and organized by Bologna FC. Those in attendance included Bologna FC CEO Claudio Fenucci, a delegation from the club’s youth sector, Bologna City Councilor for Sport Roberta Li Calzi, and Emanuele Ottolenghi, vice president of the Jewish community of Bologna.
Weisz lived in Italy and led Bologna to league and international victories. He also coached Fiorentina and Inter Milan, and was the first coach to claim Italian titles with two clubs. He additionally is credited with discovering talented players such as Giuseppe Meazza. He, his wife and two children were deported to the Auschwitz concentration camp, where they were murdered by the Nazis. He died in 1944 at the age of 47.
The FIGC, which is the governing body of soccer in Italy, is running a campaign on its official website and social media channels to commemorate the victims of the Holocaust. The campaign features an image of empty seats in a stadium, to remember those murdered by the Nazis.
“Remembering is not enough; there is an absolute need to stay aware of one of the greatest tragedies in human history,” said FIGC President Gabriele Gravina. “To know is to prevent, to fight, to protect, to respect. [Soccer], with its social impact, can serve as a powerful platform to spread messages of profound significance, especially to younger generations, who did not experience this atrocity firsthand but have both the right and the duty to understand it.”
England’s Manchester United marked Holocaust Remembrance Day by making a pledge “to listen, learn, and carry the legacies forward of the millions of innocent lives that were taken under persecution.”
The Football Association, which is the governing body of soccer in England, said in a released statement that International Holocaust Remembrance Day “is for everyone. It brings people together from all walks of life to strengthen communities and stand up against hatred and discrimination.”
“As the years pass, we’re growing more distant in time from the Holocaust and from the other, more recent genocides that are commemorated on HMD. That distance brings a risk – memory fades and the sharp reality of what happened becomes blurred, abstract, or even questioned,” the FA added. Soccer “has the power to bring people together in so many ways, can eradicate social barriers and be a force for good across communities. One of our key commitments is to do everything in our power to deliver a game free from discrimination and that will never stop, which is why IHMD is so important.”
The British club Chelsea FC hosted on Tuesday at its stadium a free exhibition, open to all visitors between 10 am and 2 pm, which highlights “the achievements, struggles, and resilience of athletes before, during, and after the Holocaust.” Visitors also learn about the role sport played in fighting against Nazi persecution, and the exhibit shares the stories of Jewish athletes persecuted under Nazi rule as well as the post-Holocaust rise of Jewish sports figures such as Mark Spitz, one of the most decorated Olympic swimmers of all time. The exhibition is produced by Yad Vashem in partnership with the Jewish Ethics Project and the soccer team’s Jewish Supporters’ Group.
Tottenham Hotspur hosted a Holocaust Memorial Day event for faith leaders and students, while Fulham FC shared on its website and YouTube channel a video of Holocaust survivor Barbara Frankiss talking to three Fulham players about her experience facing Nazi persecution and the importance of Holocaust remembrance.
We were honoured to host Haringey’s annual Holocaust Memorial Day event, uniting faith leaders and students from across our community to reflect on this year’s theme ‘Bridging Generations’.
#HolocaustMemorialDay #HMD2026 pic.twitter.com/dQIZk4VpUF
— Tottenham Hotspur (@SpursOfficial) January 27, 2026