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Marriage Tips from Jacob?
Jacob Meets Laban by Antonio Balestra. Photo: Wikipedia.
JNS.org – They say that the definition of a successful man is one who can earn more than his wife can spend. And the definition of a successful woman is one who can find such a man.
It’s been more than a thousand years since polygamy was prohibited in Jewish life. One can only wonder how they managed it. Today, we have difficulty satisfying just one spouse. How on earth did people handle multiple marriage partners?
This week in Vayetze, Genesis 28-32, we read of Jacob going off to Haran to find a wife. In the end, due to his father-in-law Laban’s deceptiveness, he ends up with two wives, Rachel and Leah. As the story unfolds, he adds another two wives as well, Bilhah and Zilpah. Remarkably, over the next 20 chapters, as we follow the long life of Jacob, we only find one argument, that which he had with Rachel. When she complained that she was suffering from infertility, he exclaimed, “Am I G-d? Have I deprived you of offspring?” If the Torah only mentions one incident of marital strife in all of the decades of Jacob’s life, that is quite a tribute to his success in handling his marriage to four wives.
Today, most of us struggle with a single marriage partner.
When times are tough, the tough get going … right out of the house. Too many men and women leave their marriages because of the pressures of life in our contemporary milieu. We may well live in the most affluent society in all of history, but the expectations are unreasonably high, and the standards we are expected to emulate are often beyond our reach.
She: “My husband is a shlemiel, a shlemazel, a jerk. I’m telling you, I should have married my first boyfriend! He’s made a success of his life.”
He: “And if you would only be a little more supportive, we could be managing a lot better. I get no support from you. Only bills!”
Often, marriages that are basically sound and solid face serious strain over financial stresses.
There are whole pages in the Talmud Megillah (27b-28a) recording conversations between some of the great sages who were blessed with long lives and their students, “Rabbi, how did you merit longevity?” the students asked. Each venerable rabbi gave his own suggestion as to what special practice he was scrupulous with, which may have been the righteous deed that earned him a long life.
The answers of these great learned men ranged from the sublime to the simple. One said, “I never gained honor from the humiliation of a colleague.” Another said he was always the first one to the house of study. A third said he never used the synagogue as a shortcut. Some of them are more notable than others. But the one that most impressed me was Rabbi Zeira, who said, “In all my days, I never got angry at home.” Wow! If any of all those good practices deserves a long life, surely, that’s the one. How I wish I could say that of myself.
During the Cold War between the Soviet Union and the United States, a popular slogan stressing the need for cool, calm and rational heads on both sides of the divide was “Coexistence or no existence!” It warned us of the consequences if the Cold War got too hot. With nuclear bombs at the disposal of both sides, global obliteration, horrible as it may be, had to be contemplated.
Coexistence is imperative on the micro level, too, in our personal lives and in our marriages. Open and honest communication between men and women is critically important.
Wouldn’t it be refreshing and helpful if a macho man might say, “Y’know honey, the business isn’t doing as well as it was. I could really use some more support, maybe even affection, these days.” And how many spouses, men and women, actively listen? And hear? There’s an old Jewish proverb: “Why did God give us two ears and one mouth? To listen twice as much as we speak.”
Ceasefires seem to be the order of the day. I appeal to warring marriage partners to call a ceasefire of their own and seek help and support from trusted professionals.
We’re on the same team. These are times for families to pull together, not to tear apart. Marriage counseling can and does work. There are excellent people in the helping professions in every community. Reach out to an honest broker. It may be a therapist, social worker or rabbi. They are only too happy to help. I’ve seen many families with problems who addressed their problems and are today happier than ever.
Jacob loved and respected all his wives. We only have one significant other to deal with. May we follow the lead of our founding father and be blessed with long, happy marriages and healthy and harmonious families.
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Israel Says Missile Launched by Yemen’s Houthis ‘Most Likely’ Intercepted
Houthi leader Abdul-Malik al-Houthi addresses followers via a video link at the al-Shaab Mosque, formerly al-Saleh Mosque, in Sanaa, Yemen, Feb. 6, 2024. Photo: REUTERS/Khaled Abdullah
The Israeli army said on Saturday that a missile fired from Yemen towards Israeli territory had been “most likely successfully intercepted,” while Yemen’s Houthi forces claimed responsibility for the launch.
Israel has threatened Yemen’s Iran-aligned Houthi movement – which has been attacking Israel in what it says is solidarity with Gaza – with a naval and air blockade if its attacks on Israel persist.
The Houthi military spokesperson Yahya Saree said the group was responsible for Saturday’s attack, adding that it fired a missile towards the southern Israeli city of Beersheba.
Since the start of Israel’s war in Gaza in October 2023, the Houthis, who control most of Yemen, have been firing at Israel and at shipping in the Red Sea, disrupting global trade.
Most of the dozens of missiles and drones they have launched have been intercepted or fallen short. Israel has carried out a series of retaliatory strikes.
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Iran Holds Funeral for Commanders and Scientists Killed in War with Israel
People attend the funeral procession of Iranian military commanders, nuclear scientists and others killed in Israeli strikes, in Tehran, Iran, June 28, 2025. Photo: Majid Asgaripour/WANA (West Asia News Agency) via REUTERS
Large crowds of mourners dressed in black lined streets in Iran’s capital Tehran as the country held a funeral on Saturday for top military commanders, nuclear scientists and some of the civilians killed during this month’s aerial war with Israel.
At least 16 scientists and 10 senior commanders were among those mourned at the funeral, according to state media, including armed forces chief Major General Mohammad Bagheri, Revolutionary Guards commander General Hossein Salami, and Guards Aerospace Force chief General Amir Ali Hajizadeh.
Their coffins were driven into Tehran’s Azadi Square adorned with their photos and national flags, as crowds waved flags and some reached out to touch the caskets and throw rose petals onto them. State-run Press TV showed an image of ballistic missiles on display.
Mass prayers were later held in the square.
State TV said the funeral, dubbed the “procession of the Martyrs of Power,” was held for a total of 60 people killed in the war, including four women and four children.
In attendance were President Masoud Pezeshkian and other senior figures including Ali Shamkhani, who was seriously wounded during the conflict and is an adviser to Iran’s Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, as well as Khamenei’s son Mojtaba.
“Today, Iranians, through heroic resistance against two regimes armed with nuclear weapons, protected their honor and dignity, and look to the future prouder, more dignified, and more resolute than ever,” Foreign Minister Abbas Araqchi, who also attended the funeral, said in a Telegram post.
There was no immediate statement from Khamenei, who has not appeared publicly since the conflict began. In past funerals, he led prayers over the coffins of senior commanders ahead of public ceremonies broadcast on state television.
Israel launched the air war on June 13, attacking Iranian nuclear facilities and killing top military commanders as well as civilians in the worst blow to the Islamic Republic since the 1980s war with Iraq.
Iran retaliated with barrages of missiles on Israeli military sites, infrastructure and cities. The United States entered the war on June 22 with strikes on Iranian nuclear facilities.
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Israel, the only Middle Eastern country widely believed to have nuclear weapons, said it aimed to prevent Tehran from developing its own nuclear weapons.
Iran denies having a nuclear weapons program. The U.N. nuclear watchdog has said it has “no credible indication” of an active, coordinated weapons program in Iran.
Bagheri, Salami and Hajizadeh were killed on June 13, the first day of the war. Bagheri was being buried at the Behesht Zahra cemetery outside Tehran mid-afternoon on Saturday. Salami and Hajizadeh were due to be buried on Sunday.
US President Donald Trump said on Friday that he would consider bombing Iran again, while Khamenei, who has appeared in two pre-recorded video messages since the start of the war, has said Iran would respond to any future US attack by striking US military bases in the Middle East.
A senior Israeli military official said on Friday that Israel had delivered a “major blow” to Iran’s nuclear project. On Saturday, Iran’s Revolutionary Guards said in a statement that Israel and the US “failed to achieve their stated objectives” in the war.
According to Iranian health ministry figures, 610 people were killed on the Iranian side in the war before a ceasefire went into effect on Tuesday. More than 4,700 were injured.
Activist news agency HRANA put the number of killed at 974, including 387 civilians.
Israel’s health ministry said 28 were killed in Israel and 3,238 injured.
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Pro-Palestinian Rapper Leads ‘Death to the IDF’ Chant at English Music festival
Revellers dance as Avril Lavigne performs on the Other Stage during the Glastonbury Festival at Worthy Farm, in Pilton, Somerset, Britain, June 30, 2024. Photo: REUTERS/Dylan Martinez
i24 News – Chants of “death to the IDF” were heard during the English Glastonbury music festival on Saturday ahead of the appearance of the pro-Palestinian Irish rappers Kneecap.
One half of punk duo based Bob Vylan (who both use aliases to protect their privacy) shouted out during a section of their show “Death to the IDF” – the Israeli military. Videos posted on X (formerly Twitter) show the crowd responding to and repeating the cheer.
This comes after officials had petitioned the music festival to drop the band. The rap duo also expressed support for the following act, Kneecap, who the BCC refused to show live after one of its members, Liam Óg Ó hAnnaidh – better known by stage name Mo Chara – was charged with a terror offense.
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