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‘Where do I stand?’ Queer Modern Orthodox teens navigate a changing world
This article was produced as part of JTA’s Teen Journalism Fellowship, a program that works with Jewish teens around the world to report on issues that affect their lives.
(JTA) — Until recently, Jacob Feldon considered Yeshiva University a serious candidate for his college education. As a senior at a Utah high school who has embraced Modern Orthodoxy and harbors dreams of potentially becoming a rabbi, he said he was drawn to “the idea of going to school in an observant community where I can study Torah and Talmud with some of the smartest people doing such a thing today.”
But Feldon is also bisexual and serves as a Jewish youth ambassador for Beloved Arise, a national interfaith support organization for queer youth. So Feldon took notice when Yeshiva University declined to officially recognize a Pride Alliance group on campus, and then pressed its case to the U.S. Supreme Court when mandated to do so.
“As a queer man I can’t see going into that environment right now with everything happening,” Feldon told the Jewish Telegraphic Agency. “I’m getting a pretty clear message that I won’t be welcomed, authentically welcome.”
Feldon is not the only high school student who identifies as Modern Orthodox to have complicated feelings about Yeshiva University at the moment. As the main Modern Orthodox university, the school blends secular and religious instruction and values. Its attempt to navigate a balance between being welcoming and inclusive and fighting for the right to control LGBTQ students’ official expression on campus has made national headlines — and caused some Modern Orthodox teens to question whether they would feel comfortable attending.
For LGBTQ teens, the lawsuit and other controversies around gender and sexuality in Modern Orthodoxy have created “a little hopelessness,” said Rachael Fried, executive director of the support nonprofit Jewish Queer Youth.
Fried described the mindset of Modern Orthodox LGBTQ adolescents as, “I’m trying to live an Orthodox life. I’m trying to build my future as a queer Orthodox person, and this is what the main, flagship institution of Modern Orthodoxy thinks about me. Then where is my future and what’s the hope for me and what are my dreams?”
For queer teens, the Y.U. saga is just one high-profile touchpoint in an ongoing grappling with their place within Modern Orthodoxy. Modern Orthodox communities range widely in many ways depending on their history, geography and leadership, meaning that some queer Orthodox teens say they have found acceptance and support while others say they’ve had more challenging experiences.
Rachael Fried is the executive director of the support nonprofit Jewish Queer Youth. (Courtesy JQY)
Often teens say they experience both. Like many of the queer teens interviewed for this article, Rivka Schafer and their parents first thought it best to keep their queer identity private due to the repercussions they feared with being LGBTQ in a Modern Orthodox community. When they did come out in middle school, Schafer said they received mixed reactions in their Jewish day school.
“The kids had a lot of stigma and the administration did too, but they tried to be really accepting and really supportive which was also really, really beautiful,” Schafer told JTA.
“Currently I identify as Modern Orthodox because Judaism is a really important part of my identity and I find Judaism to be really meaningful to me,” said Schafer, who is nonbinary, from their home in Teaneck, New Jersey. “So although I struggled a lot with the acceptance in the Jewish community, and stigma within the Orthodox community, I really ultimately believe it is and should be a strong part of who I am.”
But while Schafer has remained committed to their religious identity, Fried, of Jewish Queer Youth, said the Pride Alliance lawsuit and other LGBTQ-related controversies sometimes “pushes people away from Orthodoxy in a really unfortunate way.”
This is what happened to Mattie Schaffer. “I would describe it as [having] a religious identity crisis,” said Schaffer, a student at Lev Miriam Learning Studio in Passaic, New Jersey who uses he/they pronouns and identifies as queer. Schaffer, 16, said their neighborhood is a more right-wing Modern Orthodox community, colloquially called yeshivish, though his family is not.
“A part of all the alienation and isolation comes from a feeling of not having a place anywhere,” Schaffer said. “And as much as you try to conform, there just isn’t really a place for you to fit unless you want to be sticking out or be bending yourself in half.”
Modern Orthodox queer teens’ feeling “of not having a place” can be quite literal, particularly for those teens that are non-binary or transgender, said Schafer, the teen from Teaneck.
Schafer finds their nonbinary identity sometimes at odds with even the most basic rules of the Hebrew language, which assigns a gender to nearly all words, and of their synagogue. “Where do I stand? On the mechitza?” they asked, referring to the divider separating men and women in Orthodox synagogues.
The question of LGBTQ individuals in gender-separated prayer spaces recently reared up at Y.U., when one of its leading rabbis decreed that a transgender woman could not pray in either the women’s or men’s section of her university-affiliated synagogue.
But while recent months have been abundant in controversy, the last decade has shown tremendous progress for LGBTQ Modern Orthodox teens, according to multiple people in and around the community.
Rabbi Steve Greenberg, who was ordained by Yeshiva University before coming out as gay in 1999, heads the Orthodox queer advocacy group Eshel. His organization surveyed approximately 240 Orthodox synagogues and rabbis and found that 74% of interviewees were “high welcoming,” meaning that “inclusion is explicit, principled and broadly acknowledged” and queer families’ life cycle events other than marriage are celebrated. Another 22% offered “moderate welcome,” while 4% were “low welcoming/inattentive.”
Nadiv Schorer, right, married Ariel Meiri in 2020 with Orthodox rabbi Avram Mlotek officiating. (David Perlman Photography)
Approximately 10 rabbis said they were willing to perform same-sex marriages, according to Eshel’s research.
“They do their best to make it possible for LGBTQ folks to belong to Orthodox environments,” said Greenberg. “And it’s grown.”
The head of school at North Shore Hebrew Academy on Long Island, Rabbi Jeffery Kobrin, said he believed that growing conversations about LGBTQ issues in Orthodox communities has had benefits.
“I think it’s easier to be a queer teen now than it was in 2012, just because it’s more out there,” Kobrin said. “People talk about it more, people try to be more accepting of it, and people, community-wise, seem to less feel this contradiction between Orthodoxy and alternative lifestyles.”
Some teens say they have witnessed change in just the last couple of years. Benjamin Small, a gay teen who graduated from SAR High School last year and now attends Yeshivat Ma’ale Gilboa in Israel, said his rabbi, Chaim Poupko, of Congregation Avahath Torah in Englewood, New Jersey, has advocated for queer members of the Orthodox community in his synagogue.
“That would be unheard of two or three years ago,” Small said.
Few Modern Orthodox schools in the New York area have an LGBTQ support club. But Fried, JQY’s executive director, said students are learning how to organize and build community independently, in the absence of recognition from their schools and synagogues.
“That comes with people choosing themselves, feeling empowered to build their own communities and to step-up and create the groups that others are not creating for them,” she said.
Before the Y.U. court case, “the messaging that I heard from the Modern Orthodox community was ‘your identity is not wrong, and we want to support our queer members of the community,’” said Fried, whose organization gave grants to student groups affected by the Y.U. case.
But now, she said, the message that queer Modern Orthodox teens are hearing has shifted.
“Actually, your queer identity is what is problematic. It’s not just the sentence in the Torah that is about behavior, but actually your identity,” she characterized Modern Orthodox institutions as saying. “You want to gather and build community that is based around identity and that, in and of itself, is problematic, and it’s inherently a threat.”
For its part, Yeshiva University has tried to thread a narrow needle.
A person walks by the Wilf Campus of Yeshiva University in New York City, Aug. 30, 2022. (Spencer Platt/Getty Images)
“We love all of our students including those who identify as LGBTQ,” Y.U. said in a FAQ after it launched a school-sanctioned LGBTQ club. “Through our deep personal relationships and conversations with them, we have felt their struggles to fit into an orthodox world that could appear to them as not having a place for them.” (The YU Pride Alliance called the new club “a feeble attempt” at compromise and said they were not involved in its formation.)
There was no consensus among teens who spoke to JTA about how much the Y.U. saga would affect inclusion in other spaces. It’s also unclear the degree to which queer Modern Orthodox teens and their allies are incorporating the situation in their decision-making about college.
Y.U. declined to share student enrollment and admissions data, saying that the university does not generally release that information. But according to a recent Y.U. advertisement, last fall the school had “the largest incoming undergraduate class in over 20 years.”
Still, the school’s lawsuit and rhetoric has been a turnoff for 19-year-old Penny Laser, a queer student at a secular college who had envisioned possibly pursuing graduate studies in Talmud at Y.U. and grew up in a non-Orthodox household. (Laser asked to be identified using a pseudonym because she is seeking a giyur lechumra, a conversion for Jewish individuals to remove any doubt of their Orthodox Jewish legal status, and feared the Rabbinical Council of America would not grant her one if she was quoted in this article.)
“I’m not sure how I can trust or engage with Y.U. in the future,” said Laser. “A. I don’t know if it’s going to be a safe place for me, and B. I don’t want to align myself with an institution that has values like this.”
Schafer, from Teaneck, and Schaffer, from Passaic, are both not considering Y.U.
And the consequences of the Y.U. litigation goes beyond influencing the decisions of individual students, according to Fried.
“What the Y.U. situation is doing right now is forcing this conversation into the spotlight,” she said. “So different institutions and leaders are forced into having this conversation, or even thinking about where they stand. People are asking them to communicate where they stand.”
Feldon, from Utah, has hope. He thinks that the Modern Orthodox world needs queer rabbis to lead the conversation on inclusion from a halachic perspective — and he thinks that can still happen, despite the push by Modern Orthodoxy’s flagship university to block the Pride Alliance.
“I choose to believe,” said Feldon, “that we’ll get there. My dream life is where I can bring my boyfriend to minyan [prayer services] three times a day. And I choose to believe that we are on that path.”
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The post ‘Where do I stand?’ Queer Modern Orthodox teens navigate a changing world appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
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Circumcision could be ‘child abuse’ if done wrong, UK prosectors warn after deaths
(JTA) — British Jews are weighing in after authorities said they are considering deeming some circumcisions “a form of child abuse” following deaths from the procedure.
The Crown Prosecution Service, the region’s chief agency for criminal prosecutions, said that while male circumcision is not a crime, it may constitute child abuse “if carried out incorrectly or in inappropriate circumstances,” according to a draft document seen by the Guardian.
This document, which looked at circumcision as a potential “harmful practice” alongside virginity testing, breast flattening and exorcisms, has driven heated debate among Jewish and Muslim leaders since it was revealed this week.
The draft guidance follows a coroner’s report from Dec. 28 about Mohamed Abdisamad, a 6-month-old boy who died in London from a streptococcus infection caused by his circumcision in 2023.
The coroner warned of “a risk that future deaths could occur unless action is taken,” noting that “any individual may conduct a Non-Therapeutic Male Circumcision (NTMC) without any prior training.” He said there was no system to ensure that people who conduct religious circumcisions have accreditation or meet requirements for infection control.
In the past, another coroner raised similar concerns over the 2014 death of Oliver Asante-Yeboah, who developed sepsis after his circumcision by a rabbi. Male circumcision was a factor in 14 deaths in England and Wales since 2001, half of them men over 18 and half boys under 18, according to the Office for National Statistics.
Unlicensed circumcisions are a subject of mounting scrutiny in Europe, raising alarm in some Jewish communities. In May, Belgian police raided three homes in Antwerp as part of an investigation into illegal ritual circumcisions. And in 2024, a rabbi from London was arrested and imprisoned in Ireland for allegedly performing a circumcision without required credentials.
Some Jewish leaders swiftly condemned the Crown Prosecution Service document.
“Calling circumcision child abuse is fundamentally antisemitic,” said Gary Mond, founder of the Jewish National Assembly, to the Jewish News Syndicate.
Jonathan Arkush, co-chair of the Milah UK group that advocates for Jewish circumcision, told the Guardian that the document’s language about circumcision was “misleading” and he would be in touch with the prosecutors.
“The incidence of complications in circumcision performed in the Jewish community is vanishingly rare,” he said. “Circumcision is a core part of our identity.”
Other Jewish voices have urged action to enforce medically safe circumcisions. Rabbi Jonathan Romain, who oversees Reform Judaism’s religious court in Britain, said it was “time to clamp down on rogue practitioners” and called for mandatory training, monitoring and annual reports on the practice.
“Given that it is a longstanding and important tradition among Jews, Muslims and various other cultures, the best way forward is to only permit circumcision if it is practised by someone specifically qualified for it and who belongs to a nationally accredited scheme,” Romain said in a letter to the Guardian.
The Muslim Council of Britain also told the Guardian that it supports strengthening safeguards.
“Male circumcision is a lawful practice in the UK with recognised medical, religious and cultural foundations, and it should not be characterised in itself as child abuse,” said the group. “However, where procedures are carried out irresponsibly, without proper safeguards, and cause harm, they may rightly fall within the scope of criminal law.”
The post Circumcision could be ‘child abuse’ if done wrong, UK prosectors warn after deaths appeared first on The Forward.
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Tulsa’s Jewish community pushes back on Oklahoma Jewish charter school proposal
(JTA) — Leaders of Tulsa’s Jewish community are publicly pushing back against a proposal to open a publicly funded Jewish charter school in Oklahoma, saying the plan was developed without meaningful local input and could destabilize existing Jewish institutions.
In a joint statement released this week, senior figures from Tulsa’s synagogues, Jewish day school and community organizations said they opposed efforts by an outside group to create what would become the only religious school in the country entirely funded by taxpayers — an arrangement whose constitutionality is contested.
“We are deeply concerned that an external Jewish organization would pursue such an initiative in Oklahoma without first engaging in meaningful consultation with the established Oklahoma Jewish community,” the statement said. “To bypass community consultation in favor of an externally driven initiative is a serious error.”
The statement was signed by leaders from across Tulsa’s Jewish community, including the executive director of the Mizel Jewish Community Day School, rabbis from two Tulsa synagogues, and the head of Jewish Tulsa, the local federation.
The response follows an application by the National Ben Gamla Jewish Charter School Foundation to open a statewide online charter school that would combine Oklahoma academic standards with daily Jewish religious instruction.
Ben Gamla was founded by former U.S. Rep. Peter Deutsch, who told the Oklahoma Statewide Charter School Board on Monday that many families in the state are looking for a religious education option.
“There are a lot of parents that are looking for a sort of a faith-based, rigorous academic program,” Deutsch said.
Tulsa Jewish leaders rejected that claim. In their statement, they said Oklahoma already has Jewish schools and synagogue programs and that they were never consulted about any unmet need.
“Our local boards, organizations and donors have invested heavily in our local Jewish educational system through a dedication to learning,” the statement said, citing the day school and other community programs.
The application also raises a larger legal issue that board members openly acknowledged.
At Monday’s meeting, board chairman Brian Shellem said there was an “elephant in the room” given the board’s recent approval of another religious charter school — the St. Isidore of Seville Catholic Virtual School — which was later ruled unconstitutional by the Oklahoma Supreme Court and left unresolved after a 4-4 split at the U.S. Supreme Court.
Ben Gamla’s lawyers say that split leaves the door open.
“The exclusion of religious charters based on faith violates [U.S.] Supreme Court precedents that ensure equal access to public education for everyone, regardless of religion,” Eric Baxter, a senior lawyer at Becket, the religious-liberty firm representing Ben Gamla, said in a statement.
Baxter said Peter Deutsch consulted with local rabbis and parents during visits to Oklahoma in 2023.
“Contrary to claims of no engagement, Peter Deutsch consulted with local rabbis and parents during exploratory visits in 2023,” Baxter said. “Far from bypassing the community, Peter’s proposal builds on those consultations to expand faith-based choices for families, and we urge the Board to assess it on its merits.”
When asked who specifically Deutsch consulted with and whether here has been any consultation since then, Becket did not provide details. Instead, a firm spokesperson accused local Jewish institutions of trying to block competition.
“Sometimes, institutions that see potential new competitors will attempt to keep those competitors out of the market for educational providers,” said Ryan Colby, a spokesperson for Becket. He added, “While the Jewish Federation is entitled to its own opinions, it does not speak for all Jews.”
Colby added that Deutsch has spoken with Jews who support the proposal and said he expects non-Jewish families would also enroll.
The Oklahoma Statewide Charter School Board is expected to vote on the application as early as soon as its next monthly meeting on Feb. 19.
The post Tulsa’s Jewish community pushes back on Oklahoma Jewish charter school proposal appeared first on The Forward.
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Travel disrupted, fears elevated as Israel weathers uncertainty over potential US strike on Iran
(JTA) — Several European carriers canceled flights to Tel Aviv on Wednesday as turmoil over a potential U.S. strike on Iran roiled the skies and elevated fears in Israel.
President Donald Trump has threatened for days to intervene in Iran if the government proceeds with plans to execute protesters who have staged weeks of demonstrations against the autocratic religious regime there. Thousands of protesters have been killed in the streets, according to both government and opposition sources, and Tehran had planned a first execution of a protester arrested during the demonstrations on Thursday.
That execution was postponed amid sharp pressure from the United States, as signs piled up that Trump may plan to go forward with a military option against Iran. U.S. planes have moved within the region, several countries including the United States have urged nonessential personnel to leave the region and Iran briefly closed its airspace on Wednesday night.
On Thursday, reports emerged that Gulf states had talked Trump out of an imminent attack. But the uncertainty — and the recollection that Trump had appeared to waffle before striking Iran last year — has escalated fears in Israel, which is the Islamic Republic of Iran’s sworn enemy.
Iran and Israel fought a deadly 12-day war last year. This time, Israel and Iran have reportedly exchanged assurances, via Russia, that they would not strike each other first, but Iranian officials have said they could attack Israel alongside U.S. targets if Trump strikes Iran.
Daily life in Israel has not been interrupted, but Israelis are on high alert for a potential rehash of last year, when Iranian missiles sent them running to safe rooms multiple times and killed dozens of people.
So far, Lufthansa canceled some flights, then announced that it would revamp its schedule to prevent its employees from being in Israel overnight, when any Iranian retaliation is seen as more likely. A flight from New York was delayed on Wednesday while its carrier reportedly changed its route, igniting fears that the tensions had moved into a new phase. And some travelers have opted not to press on with their Israel trips, fearing being stuck in the country if conditions deteriorate.
At the same time, Israelis and Jews around the world, including tens of thousands of Persian Jews who fled following the ascendance of the Islamic Republic in 1979, are rooting for the protesters and against the regime. The American Jewish Committee issued a statement late Wednesday in support of the protesters.
“The international community has a moral responsibility to act in solidarity with the Iranian people and to advance a safer region and a more peaceful Middle East,” the organization said.
The post Travel disrupted, fears elevated as Israel weathers uncertainty over potential US strike on Iran appeared first on The Forward.