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7 ways to offer support and Jewish strength to friends or loved ones facing cancer
When Shoshana Polakoff, 40, received an unexpected breast cancer diagnosis three years ago, the mother of three young children needed extra support. Her friends, family and Jewish community in the Washington Heights neighborhood of Manhattan immediately stepped up.
They organized help with after-school childcare, packed school lunches for her kids and sent her little notes of encouragement while Polakoff endured trying cancer treatments.
“I felt pounds lighter and overwhelmed by the chesed that mobilized so quickly,” said Polakoff, using the Hebrew term for kindness. “And the practical help was such an incredible gift.”
Too often, however, friends and loved ones of cancer patients are at a loss for how to respond when someone close to them is diagnosed with cancer.
“Often they feel just as thrown into this new reality as the woman herself and are not sure what to do next,” said Adina Fleischmann, chief services officer for Sharsheret, the national Jewish breast cancer and ovarian cancer organization.
This is especially the case for young people who might never have had a family member or friend diagnosed with cancer before.
Fleischmann — whose organization offers extensive resources for cancer patients, ranging from emotional support, mental health counseling and education to financial subsidies for women and their families facing breast and ovarian cancer — has some guidance for what to say, how to reach out and what kind of help might be appropriate to provide in the face of a friend or family member’s cancer diagnosis.
It’s all about providing chizuk – Hebrew for strength – to the person facing cancer.
1. Establish the “Kvetching Order”
The “Kvetching Order,” based on a concept called the Ring Theory developed by clinical psychologist Susan Silk, dictates that those close to someone struggling with a cancer diagnosis offer only support to the cancer patient, and any kvetching about their own stress outward.
Thus, the person with cancer is at the center of a circle surrounded by a ring of her or his most intimate friends and loved ones. More distant concentric rings include other friends, acquaintances, more distant family and community members.
Colloquially known as “comfort in, dump out,” the Kvetching Order establishes a flow of support directed toward the person facing cancer.
2. Be clear and specific with offers of help
Support can look and feel different to different people facing cancer; each person’s needs and life circumstances are unique. When younger women are diagnosed with cancer — as often is the case with ovarian or breast cancers, where 50% of new diagnoses are in women under age 63 — patients often need extra help managing their responsibilities as parents and/or career professionals.
“Let the woman guide the journey,” Fleischmann says of the cancer patient. “Follow her lead.”
Sharsheret suggests offering concrete, practical assistance, such as offering to take the patient’s child to after-school activities or helping with homework. Maybe offer to come over to help clean the house, do laundry, or pick up groceries and make dinner for the family.
“But give the woman the feeling of control,” Fleischmann said. “Let her be in control of your support.”
Thus, a concrete suggestion like, “Can I bring you pizza for dinner on Wednesday?” is better than a vague offer of “What can I do to help?”
3. Check in often but don’t expect a response
By all means reach out to the person facing cancer. But if they don’t respond to your phone calls, emails or texts, don’t be put off.
“Sometimes the woman may not have the time or energy to respond,” Fleischmann said. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t continue reaching out. “She will appreciate knowing that you’re thinking of her.”
Polakoff found small gestures particularly meaningful.
“Little things meant a lot,” she said. “Like just a note that said, ‘I’m thinking of you. Have a good Shabbos.’”
4. Leave cancer out of it sometimes and just be with them
Kristen Harvey, who at 23 was faced with an ovarian cancer diagnosis for the second time, said it was important to have friends around her with whom she could talk about the future.
“Just being there was the best thing,” said Harvey, who recently graduated from college and lives in Michigan. “We didn’t need to do anything. I appreciated when people came over and we just hung out and watched a movie.”
Alexis Wilson, a teacher in Jupiter, Florida, said her friendships were essential during her breast cancer treatment. Before starting chemotherapy, her friends threw her a big party to which everyone showed up in different-colored wigs and decorated her yard with signs.
“My friends played a big role,” said Wilson, 39. “I felt like I wasn’t alone.”
5. Continue your support throughout someone’s cancer journey
For some women, “maintenance treatment” can last for many years beyond the active treatments of chemotherapy, radiation or surgery. Women living with metastatic breast cancer, for example, usually continue treatment throughout their lives.
Fleischmann recommends checking in with a woman along every step of her cancer journey: not just the period of active treatment, but also during maintenance treatment, survivorship, and if she is living with metastatic or advanced cancer.
“It’s nice to know my friends and family continued to reach out once I was done with treatment,” Harvey said. “Back to normal doesn’t mean life is ever normal.”
There are often heightened emotional needs around anniversaries of certain cancer diagnoses or treatment dates, Fleischmann said, so marking these dates could be important.
6. Make sure you have your own support system
If you’re particularly close to the person with cancer, you may experience feelings of being overwhelmed yourself. It’s important to take care of your own emotional well-being and not dismiss it in the face of someone else’s more pressing illness.
“As a caregiver, you can be very easily drained without your own coping mechanisms,” Fleischmann said.
Make sure to take care of yourself physically and emotionally so that you have the capacity to attend to your friend or loved one’s needs.
7. Talk to your healthcare provider and safeguard your own health
Even while supporting a loved one or friend with breast or ovarian cancer, it’s important to safeguard your own health.
The BRCA genetic mutation that causes breast cancer and ovarian cancer is much more common among Ashkenazi Jewish women than in the general U.S. population. About 1 in 40 Ashkenazi Jewish women and men carry the mutation, compared to 1 in 400 in the general population. Ashkenazi Jewish men are also at elevated risk for melanoma and prostate and pancreatic cancer.
“Talk to your healthcare provider,” Fleischmann said. “Those whose family members are facing hereditary breast and ovarian cancer should speak with their doctor or genetic counselor to see how this may affect them, too, and learn about appropriate testing and precautions.”
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The post 7 ways to offer support and Jewish strength to friends or loved ones facing cancer appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
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Was Khamenei Hit? Satellite Images Show Heavy Damage at His Compound
Iran’s Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei speaks in a televised message, after the ceasefire between Iran and Israel, in Tehran, Iran, June 26, 2025. Photo: Office of the Iranian Supreme Leader/WANA (West Asia News Agency)/Handout via REUTERS
i24 News – Satellite images published Saturday by The New York Times show heavy damage at the Tehran residence of Iran’s Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei, with plumes of black smoke and multiple buildings destroyed or partially collapsed.
The images, captured by Airbus satellites, indicate that facilities used to host senior Iranian officials were among the structures hit.
Israeli sources said the strikes were carried out as part of Operation “Roaring Lion,” targeting senior commanders of the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps.
Among those named was General Mohammad Pakpour, the current commander of the Guard forces, who assumed the role after his predecessor Hossein Salami was killed in an earlier operation. The sources added that Ali Shamkhani, secretary of Iran’s Supreme National Security Council, and former council secretary Ali Larijani were also potential targets.
In light of the scale of the destruction, Israeli officials are assessing multiple scenarios, including the possibility that Khamenei himself may have been at risk during the strikes. Iranian authorities have so far denied that Khamenei, the president, or other senior officials were injured.
Preliminary assessments suggest the strikes may have significantly disrupted the Revolutionary Guard’s strategic command capabilities, delivering a direct blow to its senior leadership structure. Officials in Israel and the United States are continuing to monitor developments closely as they await confirmation on the status of the Iranian figures believed to have been targeted.
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US Strikes on Iran Spark Travel Chaos as Airlines Cancel Flights
An Iranian flag flutters, as Israel and the US launched strikes on Iran, in Tehran, Iran, February 28, 2026. Photo: Majid Asgaripour/WANA (West Asia News Agency) via REUTERS
Airlines suspended flights across the Middle East on Saturday, including to and from the world’s busiest travel hub Dubai, after the US and Israel launched strikes on Iran.
Flight maps showed airspace over Iran, Iraq, Kuwait, Israel and Bahrain virtually empty after the strikes began, and Iran retaliated with missiles. Blasts were reported in Qatar, home to the biggest US military base in the region, as well as in Abu Dhabi and Dubai, key east-west transit hubs.
“You have crews, planes and passengers stranded all over the world. It’s a massive logistical nightmare,” a Gulf airline source said.
Dubai Airports suspended all flights at Dubai International and at Al Maktoum International until further notice, urging passengers not to travel. Emirates and flydubai temporarily halted operations, while Etihad suspended all departures from Abu Dhabi until 1000 GMT on Sunday.
PASSENGERS STRANDED ACROSS EUROPE
Students traveling from Paris to Dubai said their college trip was abandoned. “We still have some students that went there earlier and they’re stuck in Dubai and we don’t know when they’ll be able to come back,” said Benjamin Gnatek.
At Charles de Gaulle airport, Thai-bound traveler Roman Simon said his onward flight via Doha was cancelled. “Now, we’re trying to find a solution to still make our trip to Thailand,” he told Reuters.
At Doha’s Hamad International Airport, gates were nearly empty as stranded passengers queued to make hotel arrangements, a Reuters witness said.
As countries in the region closed their airspace, aircraft were forced to divert around Larnaca, Jeddah, Cairo and Riyadh. Flightradar24 briefly went down due to surging demand.
AIRSPACE COULD BE CLOSED FOR ‘SOME TIME’
The escalation dimmed hopes for progress on Tehran’s nuclear dispute with the West and reignited conflict after weeks of U.S. military buildup. Middle Eastern airports, among the world’s busiest transit hubs, warned of prolonged disruption.
“Passengers and airlines can expect airspace to be shut for quite some time,” said Eric Schouten, head of aviation security advisory Dyami.
Airlines canceled on Saturday about half of their flights to Qatar and Israel and about 28 percent of their flights to Kuwait, after the United States and Israel launched strikes on Iran, according to preliminary Cirium data.
That number seems likely to rise. In total, about 24% of flights to the Middle East were cancelled, the data showed.
The region has become more important for global aviation since the Russia-Ukraine war forced airlines to avoid both countries’ airspace.
Conflict zones add to operational risks, raising fears of accidental shoot‑downs and lengthening routes, which increases fuel costs.
BRITISH AIRWAYS, LUFTHANSA, CATHAY SUSPEND FLIGHTS
The European Union’s aviation regulator EASA on Saturday recommended its airlines stay out of the airspace affected by the ongoing military intervention.
British Airways, owned by IAG, said it had canceled flights to Tel Aviv and Bahrain until March 3, as well as Saturday’s flights to Amman.
The Russian Ministry of Transport said on Saturday that Russian air carriers had suspended flights to Iran and Israel.
Germany’s Lufthansa said it was suspending flights to and from Dubai on Saturday and Sunday and halting the Tel Aviv, Beirut and Oman routes until March 7.
Air France and Iberia also cancelled flights to Tel Aviv and Beirut, while Wizz Air suspended flights to Israel, Dubai, Abu Dhabi and Amman.
India put carriers on alert as Air India and IndiGo suspended services.
Hong Kong’s Cathay Pacific Airways suspended operations in the region, affecting passenger flights to and from Dubai and Riyadh, as well as freighter services operating through Al Maktoum airport in Dubai.
REGIONAL CARRIERS AFFECTED
Qatar Airways and Kuwait Airways temporarily suspended flights, while Turkish Airlines also cancelled flights to several Middle Eastern destinations.
Kuwait’s aviation authority said it was halting all flights to Iran until further notice, according to the state news agency, while Oman Air said it had suspended all flights to Baghdad due to the regional developments.
KLM, the Dutch arm of Air France-KLM, has brought forward the suspension of its Amsterdam–Tel Aviv service, cancelling the flight scheduled for Saturday after strikes in Iran, a spokesperson said.
The airline had announced on Wednesday that flights would be halted from Sunday, March 1. Only one flight to Tel Aviv had been scheduled for Saturday.
Virgin Atlantic said it had decided to temporarily avoid Iraqi airspace, resulting in some re-routing of its flights.
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US-Israeli Attack Triggers Fear and Panic in Iran
Buildings stand, after Israel and the US launched strikes on Iran, in Tehran, Iran, February 28, 2026. Photo: Majid Asgaripour/WANA (West Asia News Agency) via REUTERS
Iranians fled cities in search of safety, and long queues formed at fuel stations as an attack on Iran by the United States and Israel spread fear and panic throughout the country.
When the strikes began on Saturday morning, explosions rocked Tehran and columns of smoke rose into the sky, shaking the city at the start of the Iranian working week.
Residents reached by phone described scenes of chaos and alarm as they rushed to collect their children from school or made preparations to leave home for now.
“We are going to our hometown in Yazd, Tehran is not safe anymore. They said roads are safe, but I am worried,” said Gholamreza, a Tehran shopkeeper and father of two. “I am leaving everything behind in Tehran.”
It marks the latest upheaval for Iranians weeks after thousands of people were killed in a government crackdown on nationwide unrest, and comes just eight months after last year’s 12-day war with Israel, during which the United States bombed Iranian nuclear sites.
Iran’s top security body said it expected attacks to continue on Tehran and some other cities, and urged people to “travel to other cities where possible so that you may remain safe from the harm of these two regimes’ acts of aggression.” Schools and universities would be closed until further notice.
“We are scared, we are terrified. My children are shaking, we have nowhere to go, we will die here,” said Minou, a 32-year-old mother of two from the northern city of Tabriz, one of many areas where explosions were reported.
“What is going to happen to my children?” she said, crying as she spoke by phone.
US President Donald Trump said the operation would end a security threat to the United States and offer Iranians a chance to topple their rulers. The Pentagon said that US strikes against Iran were named “OPERATION EPIC FURY.”
An Iranian from the central city of Yazd said he hoped the attack would topple the clerical establishment that has run the country since the 1979 Islamic Revolution. “Let them bomb,” the resident of Yazd said.
Samira Mohebbi, speaking from the northern city of Rasht, disagreed.
“I am against this regime, to hell with them. But I don’t want my country to be attacked by foreign forces, I don’t want my Iran to turn into Iraq,” she said, referring to the neighboring country that suffered years of chaos and bloodshed following the U.S.-led invasion that toppled Saddam Hussein.
‘THEY FOOLED US AGAIN’
Security forces blocked roads in the area of Tehran that is home to the offices of Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, President Masoud Pezeshkian and parliament, witnesses said.
The latest round of negotiations between the United States and Iran in Geneva on Thursday failed to secure a breakthrough over Tehran’s nuclear programme, though Omani mediators reported progress.
“They said the nuclear talks are going well. They fooled us again,” said a resident of Tehran.
Zohreh, 28, said she would leave the port city of Bushehr with her three-year-old daughter and go to her parents’ home in a village in northern Iran.
“Why are we paying this price? I want my daughter to grow up safe and in peace,” she said.
Western governments have long suspected Iran aims to build a nuclear bomb. Tehran has always denied this.
Witnesses said people were rushing to buy hard currency.
In Isfahan, another area where attacks were reported, some said they were unable to withdraw cash from ATMs.
Reza Saadati, 45, said he was taking his family to the city of Urumieh near the Turkish border. “If the border is open, we will cross and then fly to Istanbul,” he said.
Mohammad Esmaili, 63, speaking from the town of Ilam, some 500 km (300 miles) from Tehran, said he would leave the town with his family. “God knows what will happen to us. Pray for us,” he said.
“People are shocked, scared. What is going to happen to us? Save us please,” said a woman from Tehran.