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7 ways to offer support and Jewish strength to friends or loved ones facing cancer

When Shoshana Polakoff, 40, received an unexpected breast cancer diagnosis three years ago, the mother of three young children needed extra support. Her friends, family and Jewish community in the Washington Heights neighborhood of Manhattan immediately stepped up.

They organized help with after-school childcare, packed school lunches for her kids and sent her little notes of encouragement while Polakoff endured trying cancer treatments.

“I felt pounds lighter and overwhelmed by the chesed that mobilized so quickly,” said Polakoff, using the Hebrew term for kindness. “And the practical help was such an incredible gift.”

Too often, however, friends and loved ones of cancer patients are at a loss for how to respond when someone close to them is diagnosed with cancer.

“Often they feel just as thrown into this new reality as the woman herself and are not sure what to do next,” said Adina Fleischmann, chief services officer for Sharsheret, the national Jewish breast cancer and ovarian cancer organization.

This is especially the case for young people who might never have had a family member or friend diagnosed with cancer before.

Fleischmann — whose organization offers extensive resources for cancer patients, ranging from emotional support, mental health counseling and education to financial subsidies for women and their families facing breast and ovarian cancer — has some guidance for what to say, how to reach out and what kind of help might be appropriate to provide in the face of a friend or family member’s cancer diagnosis.

It’s all about providing chizuk – Hebrew for strength – to the person facing cancer.

1. Establish the “Kvetching Order”

The “Kvetching Order,” based on a concept called the Ring Theory developed by clinical psychologist Susan Silk, dictates that those close to someone struggling with a cancer diagnosis offer only support to the cancer patient, and any kvetching about their own stress outward.

Thus, the person with cancer is at the center of a circle surrounded by a ring of her or his most intimate friends and loved ones. More distant concentric rings include other friends, acquaintances, more distant family and community members.

Colloquially known as “comfort in, dump out,” the Kvetching Order establishes a flow of support directed toward the person facing cancer.

2. Be clear and specific with offers of help

Support can look and feel different to different people facing cancer; each person’s needs and life circumstances are unique. When younger women are diagnosed with cancer — as often is the case with ovarian or breast cancers, where 50% of new diagnoses are in women under age 63 — patients often need extra help managing their responsibilities as parents and/or career professionals.

“Let the woman guide the journey,” Fleischmann says of the cancer patient. “Follow her lead.”

Sharsheret suggests offering concrete, practical assistance, such as offering to take the patient’s child to after-school activities or helping with homework. Maybe offer to come over to help clean the house, do laundry, or pick up groceries and make dinner for the family.

“But give the woman the feeling of control,” Fleischmann said. “Let her be in control of your support.”

Thus, a concrete suggestion like, “Can I bring you pizza for dinner on Wednesday?” is better than a vague offer of “What can I do to help?”

3. Check in often but don’t expect a response

By all means reach out to the person facing cancer. But if they don’t respond to your phone calls, emails or texts, don’t be put off.

“Sometimes the woman may not have the time or energy to respond,” Fleischmann said. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t continue reaching out. “She will appreciate knowing that you’re thinking of her.”

Polakoff found small gestures particularly meaningful.

“Little things meant a lot,” she said. “Like just a note that said, ‘I’m thinking of you. Have a good Shabbos.’”

4. Leave cancer out of it sometimes and just be with them

Kristen Harvey, who at 23 was faced with an ovarian cancer diagnosis for the second time, said it was important to have friends around her with whom she could talk about the future.

“Just being there was the best thing,” said Harvey, who recently graduated from college and lives in Michigan. “We didn’t need to do anything. I appreciated when people came over and we just hung out and watched a movie.”

Alexis Wilson, a teacher in Jupiter, Florida, said her friendships were essential during her breast cancer treatment. Before starting chemotherapy, her friends threw her a big party to which everyone showed up in different-colored wigs and decorated her yard with signs.

“My friends played a big role,” said Wilson, 39. “I felt like I wasn’t alone.”

5. Continue your support throughout someone’s cancer journey

For some women, “maintenance treatment” can last for many years beyond the active treatments of chemotherapy, radiation or surgery. Women living with metastatic breast cancer, for example, usually continue treatment throughout their lives.

Fleischmann recommends checking in with a woman along every step of her cancer journey: not just the period of active treatment, but also during maintenance treatment, survivorship, and if she is living with metastatic or advanced cancer.

“It’s nice to know my friends and family continued to reach out once I was done with treatment,” Harvey said. “Back to normal doesn’t mean life is ever normal.”

There are often heightened emotional needs around anniversaries of certain cancer diagnoses or treatment dates, Fleischmann said, so marking these dates could be important.

6. Make sure you have your own support system

If you’re particularly close to the person with cancer, you may experience feelings of being overwhelmed yourself. It’s important to take care of your own emotional well-being and not dismiss it in the face of someone else’s more pressing illness.

“As a caregiver, you can be very easily drained without your own coping mechanisms,” Fleischmann said.

Make sure to take care of yourself physically and emotionally so that you have the capacity to attend to your friend or loved one’s needs.

7. Talk to your healthcare provider and safeguard your own health

Even while supporting a loved one or friend with breast or ovarian cancer, it’s important to safeguard your own health.

The BRCA genetic mutation that causes breast cancer and ovarian cancer is much more common among Ashkenazi Jewish women than in the general U.S. population. About 1 in 40 Ashkenazi Jewish women and men carry the mutation, compared to 1 in 400 in the general population. Ashkenazi Jewish men are also at elevated risk for melanoma and prostate and pancreatic cancer.

“Talk to your healthcare provider,” Fleischmann said. “Those whose family members are facing hereditary breast and ovarian cancer should speak with their doctor or genetic counselor to see how this may affect them, too, and learn about appropriate testing and precautions.”

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The post 7 ways to offer support and Jewish strength to friends or loved ones facing cancer appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.

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Iran Faces Nationwide Protests Amid Economic Collapse as Israel Voices Support for Demonstrators

Protesters demonstrate against poor economic conditions in Tehran, Iran, with some shopkeepers closing their stores on Dec. 29, 2025, in response to ongoing hardships and fluctuations in the national currency. Photo: ZUMA Press Wire via Reuters Connect

Iran on Monday experienced a second straight day of expanding nationwide anti-government protests, with violent clashes between demonstrators and security forces escalating as the country grapples with unprecedented domestic crises amid Israel’s open support for the protesters.

On Sunday, thousands of people joined protests across Tehran as shopkeepers closed their stores and went on strike over the country’s deepening economic crisis and the rial — the nation’s currency — plummeting to record lows, Iranian media reported.

Demonstrators are now calling to extend strikes into a third day on Tuesday, with closures reported across key markets and protests spreading nationwide amid mounting economic pressure and growing calls for regime change.

With public unrest sweeping the nation and disrupting commercial districts, security forces have escalated their crackdown, clashing violently with protesters while firing tear gas at shopkeepers.

In widely circulated social media videos, protesters can be heard chanting slogans such as “Death to the dictator” and “[Iranian Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei] will be toppled this year,” while also calling for Iranian President Masoud Pezeshkian to step down.

On Monday, Pezeshkian made his first official response to the protests, announcing that government officials had been instructed to engage in talks with community leaders.

“I have instructed the interior minister to hear the legitimate demands of the protesters by engaging in dialogue with their representatives, so the government can fully address the issues and respond responsibly,” the Iranian leader said in a televised speech.

According to Iranian media, Pezeshkian also appointed former economy minister Abdolnaser Hemmati as the new head of the central bank, announcing a leadership change amid growing criticism over the rial’s historic decline and accelerating inflation.

Meanwhile, Israel has openly expressed support for the protests, denouncing the Islamist regime’s ongoing oppression and pointing to the country’s dire economic and social conditions.

“People in Iran are exhausted with the regime and the collapsed economy,” Israel’s Foreign Ministry wrote in a post on its Persian-language X account.

Former Israeli Prime Minister Naftali Bennett also voiced his support for the protesters, saying they deserve a better future and affirming that the international community stands with them.

​”The Iranian people have a glorious past, and they can have an even more glorious future. That future depends on every one of you,” Bennett said in a video posted on X. 

“So, to all the brave men and women now rising up across your country, all the nations of the free world stand with you in your just struggle. Change is possible, there will be a better Middle East,” he continued.

Meanwhile, the Mossad — Israel’s national intelligence agency — used its X account in Farsi to urge the Iranian people to stand up to the regime, indicating agents would join them in support.

“Let’s come out to the streets together,” the Mossad wrote. “The time has come. We are with you. Not just from afar and verbally. We are with you in the field as well.”

Iranian authorities warned that anyone accused of disrupting the country’s economic system would face punishment, calling such acts part of a “foreign-backed effort to destabilize the country.”

The Iranian Interior Ministry blamed the growing unrest on “hostile psychological operations,” claiming that foreign exchange fluctuations were driven by “enemy inducements” rather than economic factors, while urging the public to resist outside propaganda.

Iran has been facing a brutal economic and ecological crisis, with crippling pressure on its water and energy resources, forcing the government to take steps to relocate its capital amid mounting economic and foreign sanctions.

As the country’s domestic crises deepen, the government has also intensified its internal crackdown.

According to Iran Human Rights Monitor (IHR), a Norway-based NGO that tracks the death penalty in the country, at least 1,791 people have been executed this year, marking a staggering rise from the 993 executions recorded in 2024.

Most of those executed were accused of collaborating with Mossad and aiding covert operations in Iran, such as assassinations and sabotage targeting the country’s nuclear program.

With at least 61 women among those executed, Iran remains the world’s leading executioner on a per capita basis, using capital punishment as a tool of repression, fear, and ideological control.

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Trump Warns Iran of Possible Strike, Urges Hamas to Disarm After Meeting Netanyahu

US President Donald Trump greets Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu upon arrival for meetings at Trump’s Mar-a-Lago club in Palm Beach, Florida, US, Dec. 29, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Jonathan Ernst

US President Donald Trump said on Monday the United States could support another major strike on Iran were it to resume rebuilding its ballistic missile or nuclear weapons programs and warned Hamas of severe consequences if it does not disarm.

Speaking beside Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu following a meeting at his Mar-a-Lago estate in Florida, Trump suggested Tehran may be working to restore its weapons programs after a massive US strike in June.

“I’ve been reading that they’re building up weapons and other things, and if they are, they’re not using the sites we obliterated, but possibly different sites,” Trump told reporters during a press conference.

“We know exactly where they’re going, what they’re doing, and I hope they’re not doing it because we don’t want to waste fuel on a B-2,” he added, referring to the bomber used in the earlier strike. “It’s a 37-hour trip both ways. I don’t want to waste a lot of fuel.”

Trump, who has broached a potential nuclear deal with Tehran in recent months, said his talks with Netanyahu focused on advancing the fragile Gaza peace deal he brokered and addressing Israeli concerns over Iran and over Hezbollah in Lebanon.

Iran, which fought a 12-day war with Israel in June, said last week that it had conducted missile exercises for the second time this month.

Netanyahu said last week that Israel was not seeking a confrontation with Iran, but was aware of the reports, and said he would raise Tehran’s activities with Trump.

A SECOND PHASE IN GAZA?

Trump said he wanted to move to the second phase of the ceasefire deal between Israel and the Palestinian terrorist group Hamas reached in October after two years of fighting in Gaza, a progression that entails international peacekeeping forces deployed in the Palestinian enclave.

Israel and Hamas accuse each other of major breaches of the deal and look no closer to accepting the much more difficult steps envisaged for the next phase. Hamas, which has refused to disarm, has been reasserting its control as Israeli troops remain entrenched in about half the territory.

Israel has indicated that if Hamas is not disarmed peacefully, it will resume military action to make it do so.

During his Monday comments, Trump heaped the blame on the terrorist group for not disarming more promptly, arguing that Israel had lived up to its side of the deal and warning that Hamas was inviting grave consequences.

“There will be hell to pay,” Trump warned when asked what he will do if Hamas does not lay down its arms. He has made similar statements at previous intervals during the fighting.

Netanyahu said this month that Trump had invited him for the talks, as Washington pushes to establish transitional governance for the Palestinian enclave amid Israeli reluctance to move forward.

The deployment of the international security force was mandated by a Nov. 17 UN Security Council resolution.

While Washington has brokered three ceasefires involving its longtime ally – between Israel and Hamas, Israel and Iran, and Israel and Lebanon – Netanyahu is wary of Israel‘s foes rebuilding their forces after they were considerably weakened in multiple wars.

Overall, Trump’s comments suggested he remains firmly in Netanyahu’s camp, even as some aides have privately questioned the Israeli leader’s commitment to the Gaza ceasefire. His comments also suggested he is willing to risk additional hostilities related to Gaza and Iran, even as Trump has taken credit for resolving Israel‘s wars in both places.

Trump struck a warm tone as he greeted Netanyahu before their meeting, going so far as to say that Israeli President Isaac Herzog had told him he planned to pardon Netanyahu of corruption-related charges – a conversation Herzog’s office immediately denied took place.

Netanyahu reciprocated, telling reporters after the meeting that he was gifting Trump the country’s Israel Prize, which he said has historically been reserved for Israelis.

NEXT STEPS IN GAZA CEASEFIRE PLAN

Trump’s plan to end the Gaza war ultimately calls for Israel to withdraw from the Palestinian territory and Hamas to give up its weapons and forgo a governing role.

The first phase of the ceasefire included a partial Israeli withdrawal, an increase in aid and the exchange of Israeli hostages kidnapped by Hamas for Palestinian detainees and prisoners.

An Israeli official in Netanyahu’s circle said that the prime minister would demand that the first phase of the ceasefire be completed by Hamas returning the remains of the last Israeli hostage left in Gaza, before moving ahead to the next stages. The family of the deceased hostage, Ran Gvili, joined the prime minister’s visiting entourage.

Israel has yet to open the Rafah crossing between Gaza and Egypt, also a condition of Trump’s plan, saying it will only do so once Gvili’s remains are returned.

Trump said that he and Netanyahu did not agree fully on the issue of the West Bank but the Republican leader did not lay out what the disagreement was.

TURKEY, SYRIA ALSO DISCUSSED

Before the meeting, Trump told reporters he would talk to Netanyahu about the possibility of stationing Turkish peacekeepers in Gaza. That is a fraught subject – while Trump has frequently praised Turkish President Tayyip Erdogan, Israel and Turkey have a much more circumspect relationship.

While the fighting in Gaza has abated, it has not stopped entirely. Although the ceasefire officially began in October, Israeli strikes have killed more than 400 Palestinians — according to Hamas-controlled Gaza health officials — and Palestinian terrorists have killed three Israeli soldiers.

Netanyahu said on Monday that Israel was keen to ensure a peaceful border with Syria, and Trump said he was sure Israel would get along with President Ahmed al-Sharaa, who took power after longtime strongman Bashar al-Assad was deposed last year.

But Israel has been suspicious of the new leader, who was once a member of al-Qaeda, going so far as to bomb government buildings in Damascus this July.

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Global Antisemitism Sparks Surge in Aliyah From Western Countries as Jews Leave US, UK, France for Israel

New olim disembark at Tel Aviv’s Ben Gurion Airport on the first charter aliyah flight after he Oct. 7, 2023, Hamas attacks, arriving to begin new lives in Israel. Photo: The Algemeiner

As global antisemitism continues to skyrocket, Israel recorded a surge in Jewish immigration from Western nations specifically in 2025, despite an overall decline in Jews abroad moving to their ancient homeland.

Israel welcomed over 21,900 Jews from more than 100 countries this year amid ongoing hostility abroad. The figure represented a drop of about one-third from last year’s numbers, due largely to a steep dip in Russian emigration.

However, aliyah – the process of Jews immigrating to Israel – from the United States, France, the United Kingdom, and other Western countries surged sharply this year, according to data released Monday by Israel’s Immigration and Absorption Ministry.

This growing migration pattern comes as Jewish communities around the world, especially in Europe, have faced a troubling surge in antisemitic incidents and anti-Israel sentiment since the Hamas-led invasion of and massacre across southern Israel on Oct. 7, 2023.

Jewish leaders have consistently called on authorities to take swift action against the rising wave of targeted attacks and anti-Jewish hate crimes, ranging from the vandalism of murals and businesses to violent physical assaults, that their communities continue to face. 

“Aliyah to Israel in 2025 is a moving testament to Jewish resilience and the strength of the Zionist spirit, even amid security and national challenges,” Jewish Agency chairman Maj. Gen. (res.) Doron Almog said in a statement.

“In the shadow of the war, thousands of young people and families chose to bind their fate with Israel and build a shared future here,” he continued. “Aliyah is Israel’s growth engine, demographically, socially, economically, and morally.”

Continuing a steady upward trend, arrivals from France jumped 45 percent this year to 3,300, up from 2,200 in 2024, while immigration from the UK rose almost 20 percent to 840 immigrants. 

Ministry data also showed 420 newcomers from Canada, 220 from South Africa, and 180 from Australia.

These latest figures come as Jewish communities worldwide warn of escalating threats in the wake of a deadly attack on a Hanukkah celebration at Sydney’s Bondi Beach that left 15 dead and at least 40 injured.

Earlier this year, a string of deadly terrorist attacks also targeted Jewish communities abroad, including the Yom Kippur assault in Manchester that killed two Jewish men, the firebombing of a march for Israeli hostages in Boulder, Colorado – which killed one and injured 13 – and the murder of two Israeli Embassy staffers in Washington, DC.

According to Nefesh B’Nefesh (NBN), a nonprofit that promotes and facilitates aliyah from the US and Canada, overall North American immigration rose about 12 percent this year to 4,150 new arrivals, the highest annual total the organization has seen in four years.

“These olim [or new immigrants] underscore that aliyah is not solely a personal milestone, but a national and historic endeavor,” NBN executive director Rabbi Yehoshua Fass said in a statement.

“Together, these new olim are already helping to address Israel’s national needs and strengthen its future, and we recognize the significance of their decision to establish their lives in the State of Israel at this pivotal moment in the country’s history,” he continued.

Among all countries, Russia accounted for the largest number of immigrants in 2025, with about 8,300 arriving, continuing a trend seen every year since the 1990s. Yet, this figure represents nearly a 60 percent decline from 19,500 last year and is only a fraction of the 74,000 immigrants who arrived in 2022 following Russia’s invasion of Ukraine.

The ministry also showed that about a third of all new immigrants during the year were aged 18–35, highlighting a continued trend of younger Jews making aliyah.

Since the start of the war in Gaza, the Israeli government has been working to boost the country’s capacity to attract and absorb rising numbers of new arrivals, introducing initiatives such as partnering with Israeli companies to provide immediate employment and offering a zero percent income tax rate for immigrants arriving in 2026.

Earlier this year, the government also unveiled a $46.4 million program to support immigrant integration and attract skilled Jewish candidates with in-demand expertise, including a reform to expedite professional licensing for new arrivals.

According to Jewish Agency data, roughly 30,000 Jews worldwide began the immigration process in 2025, with particularly significant increases seen in the UK and Australia.

Despite these figures, Israel still faces a net migration deficit, with more people leaving than arriving — a trend experts warn is expected to continue next year.

In 2024, approximately 80,000 Israelis left the country while only 24,000 returned, creating an unprecedented negative migration balance of almost 58,000 people, according to the Israeli Bureau of Statistics.

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