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7 ways to offer support and Jewish strength to friends or loved ones facing cancer
When Shoshana Polakoff, 40, received an unexpected breast cancer diagnosis three years ago, the mother of three young children needed extra support. Her friends, family and Jewish community in the Washington Heights neighborhood of Manhattan immediately stepped up.
They organized help with after-school childcare, packed school lunches for her kids and sent her little notes of encouragement while Polakoff endured trying cancer treatments.
“I felt pounds lighter and overwhelmed by the chesed that mobilized so quickly,” said Polakoff, using the Hebrew term for kindness. “And the practical help was such an incredible gift.”
Too often, however, friends and loved ones of cancer patients are at a loss for how to respond when someone close to them is diagnosed with cancer.
“Often they feel just as thrown into this new reality as the woman herself and are not sure what to do next,” said Adina Fleischmann, chief services officer for Sharsheret, the national Jewish breast cancer and ovarian cancer organization.
This is especially the case for young people who might never have had a family member or friend diagnosed with cancer before.
Fleischmann — whose organization offers extensive resources for cancer patients, ranging from emotional support, mental health counseling and education to financial subsidies for women and their families facing breast and ovarian cancer — has some guidance for what to say, how to reach out and what kind of help might be appropriate to provide in the face of a friend or family member’s cancer diagnosis.
It’s all about providing chizuk – Hebrew for strength – to the person facing cancer.
1. Establish the “Kvetching Order”
The “Kvetching Order,” based on a concept called the Ring Theory developed by clinical psychologist Susan Silk, dictates that those close to someone struggling with a cancer diagnosis offer only support to the cancer patient, and any kvetching about their own stress outward.
Thus, the person with cancer is at the center of a circle surrounded by a ring of her or his most intimate friends and loved ones. More distant concentric rings include other friends, acquaintances, more distant family and community members.
Colloquially known as “comfort in, dump out,” the Kvetching Order establishes a flow of support directed toward the person facing cancer.
2. Be clear and specific with offers of help
Support can look and feel different to different people facing cancer; each person’s needs and life circumstances are unique. When younger women are diagnosed with cancer — as often is the case with ovarian or breast cancers, where 50% of new diagnoses are in women under age 63 — patients often need extra help managing their responsibilities as parents and/or career professionals.
“Let the woman guide the journey,” Fleischmann says of the cancer patient. “Follow her lead.”
Sharsheret suggests offering concrete, practical assistance, such as offering to take the patient’s child to after-school activities or helping with homework. Maybe offer to come over to help clean the house, do laundry, or pick up groceries and make dinner for the family.
“But give the woman the feeling of control,” Fleischmann said. “Let her be in control of your support.”
Thus, a concrete suggestion like, “Can I bring you pizza for dinner on Wednesday?” is better than a vague offer of “What can I do to help?”
3. Check in often but don’t expect a response
By all means reach out to the person facing cancer. But if they don’t respond to your phone calls, emails or texts, don’t be put off.
“Sometimes the woman may not have the time or energy to respond,” Fleischmann said. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t continue reaching out. “She will appreciate knowing that you’re thinking of her.”
Polakoff found small gestures particularly meaningful.
“Little things meant a lot,” she said. “Like just a note that said, ‘I’m thinking of you. Have a good Shabbos.’”
4. Leave cancer out of it sometimes and just be with them
Kristen Harvey, who at 23 was faced with an ovarian cancer diagnosis for the second time, said it was important to have friends around her with whom she could talk about the future.
“Just being there was the best thing,” said Harvey, who recently graduated from college and lives in Michigan. “We didn’t need to do anything. I appreciated when people came over and we just hung out and watched a movie.”
Alexis Wilson, a teacher in Jupiter, Florida, said her friendships were essential during her breast cancer treatment. Before starting chemotherapy, her friends threw her a big party to which everyone showed up in different-colored wigs and decorated her yard with signs.
“My friends played a big role,” said Wilson, 39. “I felt like I wasn’t alone.”
5. Continue your support throughout someone’s cancer journey
For some women, “maintenance treatment” can last for many years beyond the active treatments of chemotherapy, radiation or surgery. Women living with metastatic breast cancer, for example, usually continue treatment throughout their lives.
Fleischmann recommends checking in with a woman along every step of her cancer journey: not just the period of active treatment, but also during maintenance treatment, survivorship, and if she is living with metastatic or advanced cancer.
“It’s nice to know my friends and family continued to reach out once I was done with treatment,” Harvey said. “Back to normal doesn’t mean life is ever normal.”
There are often heightened emotional needs around anniversaries of certain cancer diagnoses or treatment dates, Fleischmann said, so marking these dates could be important.
6. Make sure you have your own support system
If you’re particularly close to the person with cancer, you may experience feelings of being overwhelmed yourself. It’s important to take care of your own emotional well-being and not dismiss it in the face of someone else’s more pressing illness.
“As a caregiver, you can be very easily drained without your own coping mechanisms,” Fleischmann said.
Make sure to take care of yourself physically and emotionally so that you have the capacity to attend to your friend or loved one’s needs.
7. Talk to your healthcare provider and safeguard your own health
Even while supporting a loved one or friend with breast or ovarian cancer, it’s important to safeguard your own health.
The BRCA genetic mutation that causes breast cancer and ovarian cancer is much more common among Ashkenazi Jewish women than in the general U.S. population. About 1 in 40 Ashkenazi Jewish women and men carry the mutation, compared to 1 in 400 in the general population. Ashkenazi Jewish men are also at elevated risk for melanoma and prostate and pancreatic cancer.
“Talk to your healthcare provider,” Fleischmann said. “Those whose family members are facing hereditary breast and ovarian cancer should speak with their doctor or genetic counselor to see how this may affect them, too, and learn about appropriate testing and precautions.”
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Israel’s Eurovision Delegation Departs for Austria Led by Singer Noam Bettan
Noam Bettan, Israel’s representative for the Eurovision Song Contest 2026, poses in this undated handout photo. Photo: Courtesy of Kan, Timor Elmalach/Handout via REUTERS
The Israeli delegation for the 70th Eurovision Song Contest, led by Israel’s representative in the competition Noam Bettan, departed the Jewish state on Friday morning and traveled to Austria for the annual event taking place this month.
Israel’s national airline El Al shared photos on Facebook of Bettan aboard the plane taking him to Vienna, where he will compete in the Eurovision with his original song “Michelle.” The song features lyrics in Hebrew, French, and English. Bettan, 27, will perform the track at the Eurovision with five dancers on stage, Israel’s national broadcaster Kan announced.
The Ra’anana native, whose parents are French, will represent his home country in the Eurovision this year after winning the latest season of the Israeli televised singing competition “Hakochav Haba” (“The Next Star”) in January.
“I am very happy and excited to represent our beautiful country in the biggest music competition in Europe, on the biggest stage in the world,” Bettan said before taking off on Friday morning, as reported by Kan. “I am coming with an open heart, and I want to give all the light and love I receive from everyone, back to the whole world … We have given our souls to bring the most amazing performance possible on stage with lots of surprises. There is going to be great joy on stage! It is a great privilege and responsibility, and I will do everything to represent with honor.”
El Al CEO Levi Halevi said he is confident Bettan will be successful in the competition. “Noam is going to represent us in a challenging time when it is of great significance to represent the country with honor around the world,” he added.
The first semi-finals for the Eurovision, in which Bettan will perform, will take place on May 12, followed by another semi-final on May 14. The grand final will be held on May 16.
Thirty-five countries are participating from around the world. Ireland, Slovenia, and Spain have announced they will not air the 70th Eurovision Song Contest or compete because of Israel’s participation. Iceland and the Netherlands will also not compete in the Eurovision this year due to Israel’s inclusion, but they will broadcast the competition.
Eurovision Song Contest Asia will launch in November 2026 and will be hosted in Bangkok, Thailand.
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Albanian Prime Minister Promotes Kanye West’s Upcoming Concert in New 60,000-Seat Stadium
Ye, formerly known as Kanye West. Photo: BANG Showbiz via Reuters Connect
Albanian Prime Minister Edi Rama confirmed on Thursday an upcoming concert in the country by Ye, formerly known as Kanye West, despite a number of the rapper’s previous shows being canceled across Europe because of his past antisemitic behavior.
Rama shared a video on Facebook that features footage of the Grammy winner during his previous concerts, along with a message that announces the date of the concert in Tirana, Albania. The “Flashing Lights” singer will perform one night only on July 11.
The Yeezy founder will also reportedly have a temporary venue built for him in the city that will be called “Eagle Stadium.” It is expected to hold approximately 60,000 people and will be located near the Tirana-Durra axis, Albania’s Minister of Tourism, Culture, and Sports Blendi Gonxhja confirmed in a Facebook post, which was also shared on the ministry’s official Facebook page.
The Ministry of Culture noted that the concert will be paid for through ticket sales, but some partnered institutions will “facilitate” its progress, according to BalkanInsight.
“In every aspect, it is our obligation to welcome and facilitate the development of such events that bring numerous benefits to tourism and the economy,” the ministry reportedly said. It added that the concert “will have an extraordinary impact on the promotion of tourism and the local economy.”
The United Kingdom, France, Poland, and Switzerland have all recently canceled Ye’s concerts amid controversy over his past antisemitic actions and comments, which include selling T-shirts that feature a Nazi swastika, expressing admiration for Nazi leader Adolf Hitler, releasing a song titled “Heil Hitler,” and posting several antisemitic comments about Jews on X. Australia banned Ye from entering the country last year.
Italy is still set to have Ye headline its Hellwatt Festival in July, but Pina Picierno, vice president of the European Parliament and senior member of Italy’s Democratic Party, said the government should take action to prevent the concert from taking place. “The United Kingdom denied the visa. France effectively prevented the Marseille concert. Italy, meanwhile, is just staying idle with 68,000 tickets sold, as if nothing had happened,” Picierno told the local newspaper La Gazzetta di Reggio.
Ye apologized for his antisemitic and pro-Nazi comments in January in an advert in the Wall Street Journal. He attributed his offensive behavior to manic episodes related to untreated bipolar disorder and declared, “I am not a Nazi or an antisemite.”
As part of his world tour, Ye is set to perform this summer in India, Turkey, The Netherlands, Spain, and Portugal.
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Iran Hands Over New Proposal for Talks With US to End War
An Iranian flag lies amidst the rubble of a building of the Sharif University of Technology, which was damaged in a strike, amid the US-Israeli conflict with Iran, in Tehran, Iran, April 7, 2026. Photo: Majid Asgaripour/WANA (West Asia News Agency) via REUTERS
Tehran has submitted its latest proposal for negotiations with the United States, Iranian state media and a Pakistani official said on Friday, a move that could break a deadlock in efforts to end the Iran war.
The official, involved in Pakistani mediation over the war, said Pakistan had received the proposal late on Thursday and had forwarded it to the US.
Neither the official nor Iranian state news agency IRNA gave details, and the White House declined to comment, while saying negotiations continued. Global oil prices, which remain well above $100 a barrel, eased following news of the proposal.
The closure of the Strait of Hormuz has caused unprecedented disruption to energy markets, choking off 20% of the world’s oil and gas supplies and causing a record rally in oil prices.
The blockade of the vital sea channel has also increased concerns that there will be an economic downturn. The US Navy is blocking exports of Iranian crude oil, and on Friday the US Treasury warned shippers that they risked sanctions if they paid tolls to Iran to pass through the strait.
A ceasefire has been in place since April 8 but reports that US President Donald Trump was to be briefed on plans for new military strikes to compel Iran to negotiate had pushed global oil prices up to a four-year high at one point on Thursday.
Iran has activated air defenses and plans a wide response if attacked, having assessed that there will be a short, intensive US strike, possibly followed by an Israeli attack, two senior Iranian sources told Reuters on condition of anonymity.
‘TREACHEROUS AGGRESSION’
Washington has not said what its next steps are. Trump said on Tuesday he was unhappy with the previous proposal from Iran, and Pakistan has not set a date for new talks on ending a war that has killed thousands, mainly in Iran and Lebanon.
After US and Israeli airstrikes on Feb. 28, Iran fired at US bases, infrastructure, and US-linked companies in Gulf states, while the Iran-backed Lebanese terrorist group Hezbollah launched missiles at Israel, which responded with strikes on Lebanon.
Underlining the concerns of the Gulf states, UAE presidential adviser Anwar Gargash said the “collective international will and provisions of international law” were the primary guarantors of freedom of navigation through the strait.
“And, of course, no unilateral Iranian arrangements can be trusted or relied upon following its treacherous aggression against all its neighbors,” Gargash wrote.
Trump faces a formal US deadline on Friday to end the war or make the case to Congress for extending it under the 1973 War Powers Resolution.
The date looks set to pass without altering the course of the conflict after a senior administration official said that, for the purposes of the resolution, hostilities had terminated due to the April ceasefire between Tehran and Washington.
Financial and energy markets remained on edge because of concerns about the impasse over negotiations and worries that there could be a prolonged closure of the Strait of Hormuz.
IRAN SAYS NOT TO EXPECT QUICK RESULTS FROM TALKS
Iranian Foreign Ministry spokesman Esmaeil Baghaei cautioned on Thursday against expecting quick results from talks.
A senior official of Iran‘s Revolutionary Guards said any new US attack on Iran, even if limited, would usher in “long and painful strikes” on US regional positions, while Aerospace Force Commander Majid Mousavi was quoted by Iranian media as saying: “We’ve seen what happened to your regional bases; we will see the same thing happen to your warships.”
Trump repeated on Thursday that Iran would not be allowed to have a nuclear weapon, and said the price of gasoline – an important concern for his Republican Party before midterm elections in November – would “drop like a rock” as soon as the war ended.
Iran says its nuclear program is solely for civilian purposes.
The conflict has aggravated Iran‘s economic plight, which could head toward total collapse. However, the regime looks able to survive a standoff for now, despite the US blockade that has curtailed its energy exports.
Axios news site reported that one plan to be shared with Trump during a briefing by top US military leaders that was scheduled for Thursday involved using ground forces to take over part of the strait to reopen it to commercial shipping. Trump is also considering extending the US blockade or declaring a unilateral victory, officials have said.
Washington did not immediately announce any details of its plans.
In a sign that the US was also envisaging a scenario where hostilities cease, a State Department cable due to be delivered orally to partner nations by May 1 invited them to join a new coalition, called the Maritime Freedom Construct, to enable ships to navigate the strait.
France, Britain, and others have held talks on contributing to such a coalition but said they would help to open the strait only when the conflict ends.