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7 ways to offer support and Jewish strength to friends or loved ones facing cancer

When Shoshana Polakoff, 40, received an unexpected breast cancer diagnosis three years ago, the mother of three young children needed extra support. Her friends, family and Jewish community in the Washington Heights neighborhood of Manhattan immediately stepped up.

They organized help with after-school childcare, packed school lunches for her kids and sent her little notes of encouragement while Polakoff endured trying cancer treatments.

“I felt pounds lighter and overwhelmed by the chesed that mobilized so quickly,” said Polakoff, using the Hebrew term for kindness. “And the practical help was such an incredible gift.”

Too often, however, friends and loved ones of cancer patients are at a loss for how to respond when someone close to them is diagnosed with cancer.

“Often they feel just as thrown into this new reality as the woman herself and are not sure what to do next,” said Adina Fleischmann, chief services officer for Sharsheret, the national Jewish breast cancer and ovarian cancer organization.

This is especially the case for young people who might never have had a family member or friend diagnosed with cancer before.

Fleischmann — whose organization offers extensive resources for cancer patients, ranging from emotional support, mental health counseling and education to financial subsidies for women and their families facing breast and ovarian cancer — has some guidance for what to say, how to reach out and what kind of help might be appropriate to provide in the face of a friend or family member’s cancer diagnosis.

It’s all about providing chizuk – Hebrew for strength – to the person facing cancer.

1. Establish the “Kvetching Order”

The “Kvetching Order,” based on a concept called the Ring Theory developed by clinical psychologist Susan Silk, dictates that those close to someone struggling with a cancer diagnosis offer only support to the cancer patient, and any kvetching about their own stress outward.

Thus, the person with cancer is at the center of a circle surrounded by a ring of her or his most intimate friends and loved ones. More distant concentric rings include other friends, acquaintances, more distant family and community members.

Colloquially known as “comfort in, dump out,” the Kvetching Order establishes a flow of support directed toward the person facing cancer.

2. Be clear and specific with offers of help

Support can look and feel different to different people facing cancer; each person’s needs and life circumstances are unique. When younger women are diagnosed with cancer — as often is the case with ovarian or breast cancers, where 50% of new diagnoses are in women under age 63 — patients often need extra help managing their responsibilities as parents and/or career professionals.

“Let the woman guide the journey,” Fleischmann says of the cancer patient. “Follow her lead.”

Sharsheret suggests offering concrete, practical assistance, such as offering to take the patient’s child to after-school activities or helping with homework. Maybe offer to come over to help clean the house, do laundry, or pick up groceries and make dinner for the family.

“But give the woman the feeling of control,” Fleischmann said. “Let her be in control of your support.”

Thus, a concrete suggestion like, “Can I bring you pizza for dinner on Wednesday?” is better than a vague offer of “What can I do to help?”

3. Check in often but don’t expect a response

By all means reach out to the person facing cancer. But if they don’t respond to your phone calls, emails or texts, don’t be put off.

“Sometimes the woman may not have the time or energy to respond,” Fleischmann said. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t continue reaching out. “She will appreciate knowing that you’re thinking of her.”

Polakoff found small gestures particularly meaningful.

“Little things meant a lot,” she said. “Like just a note that said, ‘I’m thinking of you. Have a good Shabbos.’”

4. Leave cancer out of it sometimes and just be with them

Kristen Harvey, who at 23 was faced with an ovarian cancer diagnosis for the second time, said it was important to have friends around her with whom she could talk about the future.

“Just being there was the best thing,” said Harvey, who recently graduated from college and lives in Michigan. “We didn’t need to do anything. I appreciated when people came over and we just hung out and watched a movie.”

Alexis Wilson, a teacher in Jupiter, Florida, said her friendships were essential during her breast cancer treatment. Before starting chemotherapy, her friends threw her a big party to which everyone showed up in different-colored wigs and decorated her yard with signs.

“My friends played a big role,” said Wilson, 39. “I felt like I wasn’t alone.”

5. Continue your support throughout someone’s cancer journey

For some women, “maintenance treatment” can last for many years beyond the active treatments of chemotherapy, radiation or surgery. Women living with metastatic breast cancer, for example, usually continue treatment throughout their lives.

Fleischmann recommends checking in with a woman along every step of her cancer journey: not just the period of active treatment, but also during maintenance treatment, survivorship, and if she is living with metastatic or advanced cancer.

“It’s nice to know my friends and family continued to reach out once I was done with treatment,” Harvey said. “Back to normal doesn’t mean life is ever normal.”

There are often heightened emotional needs around anniversaries of certain cancer diagnoses or treatment dates, Fleischmann said, so marking these dates could be important.

6. Make sure you have your own support system

If you’re particularly close to the person with cancer, you may experience feelings of being overwhelmed yourself. It’s important to take care of your own emotional well-being and not dismiss it in the face of someone else’s more pressing illness.

“As a caregiver, you can be very easily drained without your own coping mechanisms,” Fleischmann said.

Make sure to take care of yourself physically and emotionally so that you have the capacity to attend to your friend or loved one’s needs.

7. Talk to your healthcare provider and safeguard your own health

Even while supporting a loved one or friend with breast or ovarian cancer, it’s important to safeguard your own health.

The BRCA genetic mutation that causes breast cancer and ovarian cancer is much more common among Ashkenazi Jewish women than in the general U.S. population. About 1 in 40 Ashkenazi Jewish women and men carry the mutation, compared to 1 in 400 in the general population. Ashkenazi Jewish men are also at elevated risk for melanoma and prostate and pancreatic cancer.

“Talk to your healthcare provider,” Fleischmann said. “Those whose family members are facing hereditary breast and ovarian cancer should speak with their doctor or genetic counselor to see how this may affect them, too, and learn about appropriate testing and precautions.”


The post 7 ways to offer support and Jewish strength to friends or loved ones facing cancer appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.

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Germany Flags Surge in Antisemitic Slogans, Extremist Symbols, Hate Speech Under Banner of ‘Palestine Solidarity’

Pro-Palestinian demonstrators during a protest against Israel to mark the 77th anniversary of the “Nakba” or catastrophe, in Berlin, Germany, May 15, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Axel Schmidt

German authorities are stepping up scrutiny of antisemitic slogans, extremist symbols, and online hate speech amid a deteriorating climate of hostility toward Jews and Israelis that officials warn is hardening into a deepening national crisis.

On Tuesday, Germany’s domestic intelligence agency, the Federal Office for the Protection of the Constitution (BfV), released new guidance aimed at raising awareness of antisemitism and extremist forms of so-called “Palestine solidarity,” with a particular focus on developments in Berlin.

According to the agency’s newly published report, a growing network of extremist activists has emerged within segments of the pro-Palestinian movement in the German capital, where anti-Israel demonstrations increasingly feature antisemitic slogans, hateful imagery, and incitements to violence.

German officials said these new resources are intended primarily for teachers, educators, and the general public, as part of broader efforts to strengthen democratic resilience and sharpen awareness of more subtle forms of antisemitism.

In a document entitled “Hidden Messages – Antisemitic Codes and Ciphers,” the agency defines antisemitism as “rejecting, hostile or violent attitudes towards Jews or towards people who are perceived as Jewish.”

Among the report’s key findings is that within secular pro-Palestinian extremism, criticism of Israel’s policies and actions is increasingly being generalized onto Jews as a whole, with anger over the Israeli-Palestinian conflict frequently mutating into antisemitic narratives.

The agency also points to a growing use of antisemitic slogans and imagery, noting recurring symbols among extremist pro-Palestinian activists, including the red inverted triangle — used to signal support for Hamas — and the watermelon motif when used to depict the outline of Israel.

It also points to the slogan “From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free,” which is widely interpreted as a call for the elimination of the State of Israel.

German officials warned that these dynamics are increasingly serving as “bridge narratives,” drawing together otherwise disparate extremist circles, including the far right, far left, and Islamist movements.

The report further notes that since the Hamas-led invasion of and massacre across southern Israel on Oct. 7, 2023, segments of Germany’s radical left have drawn closer to what they describe as the “Palestinian liberation struggle.”

Islamist and left-wing extremists are increasingly merging anti-imperialist ideology with entrenched antisemitic narratives in their propaganda around the Israel–Hamas war, including claims of a “genocide in Gaza,” depictions of the Jewish state as a “colonial power,” and labels such as “child murderer.”

Such antisemitic narratives have become a central mobilizing force since the Oct. 7 atrocities, shaping public discourse and being used to justify acts of violence and intimidation.

After more than two years of escalation, German officials warn that the threat to Jewish life has risen dramatically, with antisemitic hate speech surging as extremist actors deliberately exploit the war in Gaza for propaganda.

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Anti-Israel Rep. Thomas Massie Trails in Race as New Kentucky Ad Targets Jewish Donor With Rainbow Star of David

US Rep. Thomas Massie (R-KY) leaves a meeting of the House Republican Conference in the US Capitol on Wednesday, June 4, 2025. Photo: Tom Williams/CQ Roll Call/Sipa USA via Reuters Connect

A new poll is signaling growing trouble for US Rep. Thomas Massie in Kentucky’s Republican primary, with Trump-endorsed challenger Ed Gallrein now leading the incumbent congressman 53 percent to 45 percent among likely GOP voters in the state’s 4th Congressional District.

The poll comes as Massie faces intensifying backlash over an advertisement released by a pro-Massie super PAC targeting billionaire Republican donor Paul Singer, a prominent Jewish supporter of pro-Israel causes who has backed efforts to defeat the incumbent.

The ad characterizes Singer as a “pro-trans billionaire” and features a rainbow-colored Star of David behind his image while attacking Gallrein’s allies.

Critics condemned the imagery as antisemitic, arguing it invoked longstanding tropes about Jewish financial influence and used Jewish symbolism in a way designed to inflame cultural resentment. Many social media users accused the ad of crossing a red line at a time when antisemitic incidents in the United States remain elevated following Hamas’s Oct. 7, 2023, massacre across southern Israel.

The Kentucky ad was paid for by Hold the Line PAC — a group backing Massie that is “focused on Religious Liberty, 2A, and Restoring Election Integrity,” according to its website — not Massie’s official campaign.

The race has drawn national attention, with more than $25 million spent on ads, the most ever in a House primary election, according to AdImpact.

Outside groups have poured millions of dollars into the campaign, Because Kentucky’s 4th District is overwhelmingly Republican, the GOP primary is widely expected to determine who will ultimately hold the seat. According to data sourced from the Federal Election Commission (FEC), Massie has only garnered roughly $70,000 from in-state donors, compared to over $1.1 million from out-of-state, a whopping 94 percent of his total donations.

The latest survey showing Massie trailing was conducted on May 12 by Quantus Insights. It marks one of the clearest signs yet that US President Donald Trump’s endorsement may be reshaping the race in Gallrein’s favor. The Kentucky primary has rapidly evolved into one of the most closely watched Republican intraparty battles of the 2026 election cycle, drawing national attention over divisions surrounding Israel, antisemitism, and ideological loyalty within the GOP.

Massie, a libertarian-leaning Republican known for frequently breaking with party leadership, has a long track-record of voting against sending aid to all foreign countries, including Israel. Although he has received substantial criticism over his voting record, Massie has argued that his positions do not reflect an animus against the Jewish state but are reflective of his staunch fiscal conservatism. He has also condemned Israel’s military operations in Gaza and Lebanon, arguing that the Jewish state has targeted civilian infrastructure and should not receive assistance from the US.

Critics contend his voting record and anti-Israel rhetoric have increasingly isolated him from the Republican mainstream, particularly on issues involving Israel and national security. Skeptics also claim that Massie’s criticisms of Israel are devoid of nuance, oftentimes omitting Hamas’s tendency to use human shields, repurpose civilian infrastructure for military purposes, and intercept trucks intended to distribute food.

The race has become a major test of Trump’s continued influence over Republican primaries. Trump has repeatedly criticized Massie in recent months before formally endorsing Gallrein, framing the contest as a battle between party unity and ideological obstructionism.

“We got to get rid of this loser. This guy is bad,” Trump said at a March rally in Hebron, Kentucky. “He’s disloyal to the Republican Party. He’s disloyal to the people of Kentucky, and most importantly, he is disloyal to the United States of America. And he’s got to be voted out of office as soon as possible.”

Gallrein, a retired Navy SEAL officer, has sought to position himself as a firmly pro-Israel conservative aligned with Trump’s “America First” coalition. His campaign has emphasized strong US-Israel relations, expanded security cooperation, and staunch support for the Jewish state following Hamas’s Oct. 7 attack.

Political analysts say the outcome could reverberate far beyond Kentucky, shaping how Republican lawmakers navigate issues surrounding Israel, antisemitism, and loyalty to Trump heading into the 2026 midterm elections.

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Jewish Teens in France Tell US Ambassador About Enduring Antisemitism in Schools

Members of French Cteen chapters meet with United States Ambassador to France Charles Kushner and his wife Seryl on Monday, May 4, 2026. They discussed their experiences with antisemitism and what keeps them motivated. Photo: US Embassy in France

Nine members of the Chabad youth group CTeen France met last week with US Ambassador to France Charles Kushner to discuss their experiences of antisemitism in the years since Hamas’s Oct. 7, 2023, attack on Israel, a massacre which left nearly 1,200 people dead and led to a surge in hate crimes targeting Jews around the world.

Following an invitation, the youth aged 14-18 visited the ambassador’s official residence at rue du Faubourg Saint-Honoré in Paris for a two-hour discussion also attended by Kushner’s wife Seryl. Rabbi Mendy Mottal, CTeen’s director, and his wife Chaya also participated.

One member of the group, 18-year-old Younes, declined when offered a letter from the embassy to explain his absence from school. He explained that he did not want anyone at his school to discover he was Jewish, that only his best friend knew the secret of his true identity.

Another student, Salomé, described living 90 minutes south of Paris in Orléans and not knowing any other Jews in her region until the launch of a CTeen group. “All week at school I’m just waiting for the moment when I can see my Jewish friends,” she told the ambassador.

“These are teens who walk into their public school every morning knowing they may be the only Jew in their classroom,” said Rabbi Mendy Kotlarsky, chairman of CTeen International.

Discussing the meeting on X, Kushner wrote, “I love seeing motivated young leaders! CTeen is developing youth across France and focusing, like me, on countering antisemitism by combatting all forms of hatred in our communities.”

The teenagers received a tour of the ambassador’s residence and enjoyed Kosher refreshments before receiving two gifts: a kippah custom-made for the embassy and an embassy medal.

“These are teens regularly experiencing antisemitism on the front line,” Mottal said. “The ambassador was very moved by them and how they spoke. Frankly, so was I.” He described how Kushner “wanted to know what actually happens in the hallways, what they feel when they walk into a classroom knowing they might be the only Jews in the room.”

Kushner stated during the meeting that he intended the gathering to be the start of his collaborations with the CTeen group and that combating antisemitism in France had become a top priority.

“The fact that the ambassador sits with them, listens to their stories, and acknowledges the weight they carry on their shoulders — that means something profound to these young people,” Kotlarsky said.

The students’ fears align with survey responses from Jews in France and Europe. A 2026 Jewish Agency report found 78 percent of French Jews expressed feelings of fear in their country while 43 percent of European Jews surveyed said they experienced antisemitism in the last year either themselves or through a member of their family.

Last year authorities in France documented 1,320 antisemitic incidents recorded nationwide, a fall of 16 percent from the previous year’s high of 1,570. While Jews make up less than one percent of the French population — totaling 500,000 to amount to Europe’s highest Jewish population — they account for 53 percent of hate crime victims. French officials warned that the numbers were certainly undercounts of the actual number of incidents.

Last month, lawmaker Caroline Yadan put forward legislation to expand penalties for antisemitic speech. Dubbed the “Yadan law,” the proposed measure would ban “implicit” justifications of terrorism, advocacy for obliterating any state recognized by France, and comparing Israel to Nazi Germany. The bill’s supporters chose to withdraw the plan on April 16 after determining they were unlikely to succeed.

The centrist party Ensemble pour la République (EPR) blamed the leftist La France Insoumise (LFI) party for allegedly obstructing the bill’s progression.

In March, Dov Maimon, a senior fellow at the Jewish People Policy Institute, described the ideological dynamics in local French politics today and the threat they posed against the Jewish people.

“On one side, Jean-Luc Mélenchon’s far-left party, La France Insoumise (LFI), which didn’t hold a single seat on any municipal council, has now entered hundreds of councils and captured real cities for the first time,” Maimon wrote. “On the other side, the far right took approximately 40% of the vote and clinched dozens of mayoral races.”

Maimon warned that “the center seems to have collapsed. According to current polls, Mélenchon has a real chance of reaching that final round as the standard-bearer of the left. His political movement has weaponized hostility toward Israel, and his ties to Islamist networks are well-documented.”

In March, French authorities arrested two brothers alleged to have planned an antisemitic terror attack. Investigators found a semi-automatic firearm, a bottle of acid, and an ISIS flag during a traffic stop.

Kushner is the grandson of Holocaust survivors. His son Jared is US President Donald Trump’s son-in-law and serves as the Special Envoy for Peace where he has acted as a key foreign policy negotiator during the ongoing conflict with the Islamic regime in Iran.

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