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7 ways to offer support and Jewish strength to friends or loved ones facing cancer
When Shoshana Polakoff, 40, received an unexpected breast cancer diagnosis three years ago, the mother of three young children needed extra support. Her friends, family and Jewish community in the Washington Heights neighborhood of Manhattan immediately stepped up.
They organized help with after-school childcare, packed school lunches for her kids and sent her little notes of encouragement while Polakoff endured trying cancer treatments.
“I felt pounds lighter and overwhelmed by the chesed that mobilized so quickly,” said Polakoff, using the Hebrew term for kindness. “And the practical help was such an incredible gift.”
Too often, however, friends and loved ones of cancer patients are at a loss for how to respond when someone close to them is diagnosed with cancer.
“Often they feel just as thrown into this new reality as the woman herself and are not sure what to do next,” said Adina Fleischmann, chief services officer for Sharsheret, the national Jewish breast cancer and ovarian cancer organization.
This is especially the case for young people who might never have had a family member or friend diagnosed with cancer before.
Fleischmann — whose organization offers extensive resources for cancer patients, ranging from emotional support, mental health counseling and education to financial subsidies for women and their families facing breast and ovarian cancer — has some guidance for what to say, how to reach out and what kind of help might be appropriate to provide in the face of a friend or family member’s cancer diagnosis.
It’s all about providing chizuk – Hebrew for strength – to the person facing cancer.
1. Establish the “Kvetching Order”
The “Kvetching Order,” based on a concept called the Ring Theory developed by clinical psychologist Susan Silk, dictates that those close to someone struggling with a cancer diagnosis offer only support to the cancer patient, and any kvetching about their own stress outward.
Thus, the person with cancer is at the center of a circle surrounded by a ring of her or his most intimate friends and loved ones. More distant concentric rings include other friends, acquaintances, more distant family and community members.
Colloquially known as “comfort in, dump out,” the Kvetching Order establishes a flow of support directed toward the person facing cancer.
2. Be clear and specific with offers of help
Support can look and feel different to different people facing cancer; each person’s needs and life circumstances are unique. When younger women are diagnosed with cancer — as often is the case with ovarian or breast cancers, where 50% of new diagnoses are in women under age 63 — patients often need extra help managing their responsibilities as parents and/or career professionals.
“Let the woman guide the journey,” Fleischmann says of the cancer patient. “Follow her lead.”
Sharsheret suggests offering concrete, practical assistance, such as offering to take the patient’s child to after-school activities or helping with homework. Maybe offer to come over to help clean the house, do laundry, or pick up groceries and make dinner for the family.
“But give the woman the feeling of control,” Fleischmann said. “Let her be in control of your support.”
Thus, a concrete suggestion like, “Can I bring you pizza for dinner on Wednesday?” is better than a vague offer of “What can I do to help?”
3. Check in often but don’t expect a response
By all means reach out to the person facing cancer. But if they don’t respond to your phone calls, emails or texts, don’t be put off.
“Sometimes the woman may not have the time or energy to respond,” Fleischmann said. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t continue reaching out. “She will appreciate knowing that you’re thinking of her.”
Polakoff found small gestures particularly meaningful.
“Little things meant a lot,” she said. “Like just a note that said, ‘I’m thinking of you. Have a good Shabbos.’”
4. Leave cancer out of it sometimes and just be with them
Kristen Harvey, who at 23 was faced with an ovarian cancer diagnosis for the second time, said it was important to have friends around her with whom she could talk about the future.
“Just being there was the best thing,” said Harvey, who recently graduated from college and lives in Michigan. “We didn’t need to do anything. I appreciated when people came over and we just hung out and watched a movie.”
Alexis Wilson, a teacher in Jupiter, Florida, said her friendships were essential during her breast cancer treatment. Before starting chemotherapy, her friends threw her a big party to which everyone showed up in different-colored wigs and decorated her yard with signs.
“My friends played a big role,” said Wilson, 39. “I felt like I wasn’t alone.”
5. Continue your support throughout someone’s cancer journey
For some women, “maintenance treatment” can last for many years beyond the active treatments of chemotherapy, radiation or surgery. Women living with metastatic breast cancer, for example, usually continue treatment throughout their lives.
Fleischmann recommends checking in with a woman along every step of her cancer journey: not just the period of active treatment, but also during maintenance treatment, survivorship, and if she is living with metastatic or advanced cancer.
“It’s nice to know my friends and family continued to reach out once I was done with treatment,” Harvey said. “Back to normal doesn’t mean life is ever normal.”
There are often heightened emotional needs around anniversaries of certain cancer diagnoses or treatment dates, Fleischmann said, so marking these dates could be important.
6. Make sure you have your own support system
If you’re particularly close to the person with cancer, you may experience feelings of being overwhelmed yourself. It’s important to take care of your own emotional well-being and not dismiss it in the face of someone else’s more pressing illness.
“As a caregiver, you can be very easily drained without your own coping mechanisms,” Fleischmann said.
Make sure to take care of yourself physically and emotionally so that you have the capacity to attend to your friend or loved one’s needs.
7. Talk to your healthcare provider and safeguard your own health
Even while supporting a loved one or friend with breast or ovarian cancer, it’s important to safeguard your own health.
The BRCA genetic mutation that causes breast cancer and ovarian cancer is much more common among Ashkenazi Jewish women than in the general U.S. population. About 1 in 40 Ashkenazi Jewish women and men carry the mutation, compared to 1 in 400 in the general population. Ashkenazi Jewish men are also at elevated risk for melanoma and prostate and pancreatic cancer.
“Talk to your healthcare provider,” Fleischmann said. “Those whose family members are facing hereditary breast and ovarian cancer should speak with their doctor or genetic counselor to see how this may affect them, too, and learn about appropriate testing and precautions.”
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The post 7 ways to offer support and Jewish strength to friends or loved ones facing cancer appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
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Mamdani to attend Passover Seder as he navigates ties with Jewish groups amid rising antisemitism
New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani is set to attend a Passover Seder on Monday night at the City Winery in Manhattan, stepping into a decades-old cultural tradition that doubles as a symbolic test of his relationship with the city’s Jewish community.
Mamdani is slated to appear alongside a liberal rabbi, an Israeli musician and an observant comedian at the annual Downtown Seder hosted by nightlife impresario and entrepreneur Michael Dorf. All net proceeds from the event will be donated to Seeds of Peace, a New York-based nonprofit founded in 1993 that helps young people from conflict regions build leadership skills and engage in dialogue.
Founded in 1991 and held at the East Village’s Knitting Factory and later at the Museum of Jewish Heritage, the Downtown Seder brings together artists, activists and public figures for a contemporary retelling of the Exodus story. Dorf, who is Jewish and launched City Winery in 2008, has described the gathering as a “supplement” to traditional seders. Passover begins Wednesday evening at sundown.
“The Seder is about asking urgent questions — about freedom, responsibility, and how we care for one another,” Dorf said in a statement. “Each year, we bring together voices who challenge, inspire, and reflect the world as it is — and as it could be.”
Featured guests this year include former CNN anchor Don Lemon, Israeli musician David Broza, and comedian Modi Rosenfeld. Former Mayor Eric Adams was the featured guest at the Seder in 2023.
A City Hall spokesperson said Mamdani will also host a private Passover dinner with city workers.
Mamdani’s participation at the Seder on Monday comes at a delicate political moment. A vocal critic of Israel who supports the boycott movement and has declined to recognize Israel specifically as a Jewish state, Mamdani has faced backlash from Zionist Jewish organizations, particularly after revoking executive orders tied to antisemitism and campus protests on his first day in office and his recent refusal to back legislation aimed at curbing disruptive protests outside synagogues and schools.
Reflecting his outreach efforts since taking office, his appearance at the Seder signals an ongoing effort to engage Jewish audiences drawn to themes of justice and coexistence and who are willing to be part of the conversation.
The event that Mamdani will speak at will also feature remarks from Rabbi Amichai Lau-Lavie, a rabbi and human rights activist, who will appear via video from Israel, according to the organizers.
Last week, Mamdani helped load cars with Passover food for Orthodox families at the annual Chasdei Lev distribution event in Brooklyn. He also met with Orthodox businessman Dov Bleich at his office, who showed him a Haggadah dating to the Civil War era in New York.
In his interview with the Forward last April, Mamdani framed the Exodus story as a call for collective liberation struggles. He invoked the biblical story of Moses confronting Pharaoh as a metaphor for present political challenges. “This moment with so many Pharaohs around us — whether they be Donald Trump, ICE or this troubling rise of antisemitism — we must take a lesson from those words of the necessity of not only having our lips not tremble or falter, but that the power in doing this comes in a shared belief in the possible,” Mamdani said. As a candidate, Mamdani attended a Seder hosted by Jews for Racial and Economic Justice.
Jewish politicians mark Passover amid rising antisemitism
Other politicians have also sought to mark Passover in ways that resonate with Jews grappling with rising antisemitism.
New York City Council Speaker Julie Menin co-hosted an interfaith Seder with the Jewish Community Relations Council on Thursday at Tsion Cafe, an Ethiopian Jewish restaurant in Harlem that closed earlier this year, after the owner faced ongoing harassment and vandalism since the Oct. 7 Hamas attack on Israel. “The story of Passover is a story of hope, perseverance, grit and determination for the Jewish community,” Menin said in her remarks. She added that it is symbolic that this year all the major religious holidays — Ramadan, Lent, Easter and Passover — have converged around the same time. “This is what our city needs more of — focused on unity and inclusion,” she said.
Some see Menin’s role as the Council’s first Jewish speaker as a counterweight to Mamdani on Jewish communal issues. On Thursday, the Council passed two bills that direct the NYPD to craft a plan within 45 days for managing protests around houses of worship and schools.
Illinois Gov. JB Pritzker hosted a Seder with Jewish leaders last week at his official residence. Last year, Pritzker, among a handful of Jewish politicians in leadership roles offering the Democratic Party a path forward ahead of the midterm elections, invoked his family’s history and his role in building the Illinois Holocaust Museum & Education Center to criticize President Donald Trump’s policies, comparing them to authoritarian tactics.
Pennsylvania Gov. Josh Shapiro is set to hold a family Seder at his official residence and will mark the first anniversary of the arson attack on the first night of Passover last year by an intruder, who said he wanted to beat the governor with a sledgehammer over what he claimed was a lack of empathy toward Palestinians. Shapiro has since leaned into his Jewish identity and has spoken out on bipartisan platforms about rising hate-fueled violence.
The post Mamdani to attend Passover Seder as he navigates ties with Jewish groups amid rising antisemitism appeared first on The Forward.
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IDF Soldier from Connecticut Killed in Southern Lebanon Combat
Sgt. Moshe Yitzhak Hacohen Katz. Photo: courtesy.
i24 News – The Israel Defense Forces announced on Sunday morning the death of Sgt. Moshe Yitzhak Hacohen Katz, 22, originally from New Haven, Connecticut, who was killed during combat operations in southern Lebanon on Saturday.
According to the military, Katz was killed in a rocket attack targeting Israeli forces operating during efforts to expand a security zone in southern Lebanon. The IDF said the strike occurred overnight between Friday and Saturday, during a large-scale barrage aimed at units deployed in the area.
An initial military investigation found that one rocket directly hit an infantry unit from the 890th Battalion of the Paratroopers Brigade, killing Katz instantly. Three additional soldiers were wounded and are listed in moderate condition.
The IDF said the announcement of Katz’s death was delayed to ensure that all family members, including those in the United States, were properly notified.
The army also said that recent attacks have largely focused on the four IDF divisions operating in Lebanon. In the past 24 hours alone, approximately 250 rockets were launched toward Israeli positions, with 23 crossing into Israeli territory, according to military figures.
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AI-Generated Antisemitic Rabbi Racks Up Millions of Followers with Questionable Financial Advice

i24 News – An AI-generated character known as Rabbi Goldman has attracted millions of followers online by combining old antisemitic tropes with digital-age conspiracy theories. The avatar, presented as a caricature of a New York rabbi, plays off stereotypes of Jewish power and wealth while dispensing unsolicited “financial advice” and conspiracy-laden commentary about global elites.
In his videos, Rabbi Goldman claims that Jews have “known every secret for thousands of years,” weaving age-old prejudice into modern misinformation. Among his assertions: that the moon landing was faked, the US government will soon exert total control over its citizens, and billionaires stage yacht sinkings for insurance fraud—all allegedly foreknown by “the Jews.”
Before being removed on Sunday night, his Instagram account had racked up over 1.5 million followers. Yet the same page remains active on Facebook, which shares an owner with Instagram, with roughly 180,000 followers and thousands of interactions per post. The comments reveal an audience that is genuinely engaged with, and emboldened by, his vitriolic rhetoric.
Rabbi Goldman’s videos follow a simple formula designed to thrive in algorithm-driven ecosystems. They begin with a cryptic slogan implying secret knowledge or hidden wealth — invoking Jews as the keepers of these secrets — to draw viewers in and extend watch time, thus being featured on more people’s feeds. What follows is a cascade of AI-generated, factually dubious monologues, all culminating in a pitch: he can show you how to acquire the same “Jewish wisdom.”
That pitch leads to his website, where a manual titled How to Make and Invest Money sells for $9, and he claims it has been purchased by over 4,000 people. The real product, however, carries a fuller title — How to Make and Invest Money Like the Jews. The 62-page PDF amounts to generic, AI-spun financial advice labeled as “the Jewish method,” occasionally interspersed with random references to the Talmud. Just like the videos, it references how Jews have managed to be successful for thousands of years but offers little backup as to how that can translate to a real-world scenario.
Most of it plays off the stereotype of Jews being financially astute. But some lines, such as “Jews do not day trade… We buy the market — the entire market — and we hold it indefinitely,” remove the mask entirely.
Whether we like it or not, antisemitism thrives online—and platforms’ recent loosening of content restrictions under the banner of “free speech” has only amplified it. Social media has become an ideal environment for grifters to blend prejudice with profit. And that is, to their credit, what the creators of Rabbi Goldman have done.
They have clearly borrowed from the “manosphere” playbook—a cluster of influencers promoting hyper-masculine, materialistic lifestyles infused with misogyny and antisemitism. Like Andrew Tate and similar figures, Rabbi Goldman appeals to disaffected young men who feel alienated by the economy and society in which they live, eager to locate a scapegoat.
In Goldman’s case, the scapegoats are the elites and billionaires. But the framing of the Jews alongside the elites has, by proxy, made them the scapegoat too. By merging coded hatred with generic Instagram-style self-help language, the character transforms antisemitism into a marketable aesthetic.
So essentially, the creator of Rabbi Goldman has found a niche in an emerging market, playing off of antisemitism to sell cheaply produced slop to teenagers. Which is both entrepreneurial and morally awful. But the issue is that social media has bred the ground for this by rewarding shock content and letting antisemitism often go untouched. Even when they deleted his Instagram account, dozens of copycats popped up, including an absurdly ironic German-language version that uses the likeness of British politician Jeremy Corbyn.
And this is what happens when social media companies are reactive rather than proactive. They were chasing shadows after the account became so big. Instead, they need to cut it out at its source, be tougher on antisemitism, and be more vigilant with AI content.
And for social media users, it is hard to tell what’s real and what isn’t anymore. Just try not to get financial advice from an AI rabbi who thinks the moon landing was fake.
