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7 ways to offer support and Jewish strength to friends or loved ones facing cancer
When Shoshana Polakoff, 40, received an unexpected breast cancer diagnosis three years ago, the mother of three young children needed extra support. Her friends, family and Jewish community in the Washington Heights neighborhood of Manhattan immediately stepped up.
They organized help with after-school childcare, packed school lunches for her kids and sent her little notes of encouragement while Polakoff endured trying cancer treatments.
“I felt pounds lighter and overwhelmed by the chesed that mobilized so quickly,” said Polakoff, using the Hebrew term for kindness. “And the practical help was such an incredible gift.”
Too often, however, friends and loved ones of cancer patients are at a loss for how to respond when someone close to them is diagnosed with cancer.
“Often they feel just as thrown into this new reality as the woman herself and are not sure what to do next,” said Adina Fleischmann, chief services officer for Sharsheret, the national Jewish breast cancer and ovarian cancer organization.
This is especially the case for young people who might never have had a family member or friend diagnosed with cancer before.
Fleischmann — whose organization offers extensive resources for cancer patients, ranging from emotional support, mental health counseling and education to financial subsidies for women and their families facing breast and ovarian cancer — has some guidance for what to say, how to reach out and what kind of help might be appropriate to provide in the face of a friend or family member’s cancer diagnosis.
It’s all about providing chizuk – Hebrew for strength – to the person facing cancer.
1. Establish the “Kvetching Order”
The “Kvetching Order,” based on a concept called the Ring Theory developed by clinical psychologist Susan Silk, dictates that those close to someone struggling with a cancer diagnosis offer only support to the cancer patient, and any kvetching about their own stress outward.
Thus, the person with cancer is at the center of a circle surrounded by a ring of her or his most intimate friends and loved ones. More distant concentric rings include other friends, acquaintances, more distant family and community members.
Colloquially known as “comfort in, dump out,” the Kvetching Order establishes a flow of support directed toward the person facing cancer.
2. Be clear and specific with offers of help
Support can look and feel different to different people facing cancer; each person’s needs and life circumstances are unique. When younger women are diagnosed with cancer — as often is the case with ovarian or breast cancers, where 50% of new diagnoses are in women under age 63 — patients often need extra help managing their responsibilities as parents and/or career professionals.
“Let the woman guide the journey,” Fleischmann says of the cancer patient. “Follow her lead.”
Sharsheret suggests offering concrete, practical assistance, such as offering to take the patient’s child to after-school activities or helping with homework. Maybe offer to come over to help clean the house, do laundry, or pick up groceries and make dinner for the family.
“But give the woman the feeling of control,” Fleischmann said. “Let her be in control of your support.”
Thus, a concrete suggestion like, “Can I bring you pizza for dinner on Wednesday?” is better than a vague offer of “What can I do to help?”
3. Check in often but don’t expect a response
By all means reach out to the person facing cancer. But if they don’t respond to your phone calls, emails or texts, don’t be put off.
“Sometimes the woman may not have the time or energy to respond,” Fleischmann said. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t continue reaching out. “She will appreciate knowing that you’re thinking of her.”
Polakoff found small gestures particularly meaningful.
“Little things meant a lot,” she said. “Like just a note that said, ‘I’m thinking of you. Have a good Shabbos.’”
4. Leave cancer out of it sometimes and just be with them
Kristen Harvey, who at 23 was faced with an ovarian cancer diagnosis for the second time, said it was important to have friends around her with whom she could talk about the future.
“Just being there was the best thing,” said Harvey, who recently graduated from college and lives in Michigan. “We didn’t need to do anything. I appreciated when people came over and we just hung out and watched a movie.”
Alexis Wilson, a teacher in Jupiter, Florida, said her friendships were essential during her breast cancer treatment. Before starting chemotherapy, her friends threw her a big party to which everyone showed up in different-colored wigs and decorated her yard with signs.
“My friends played a big role,” said Wilson, 39. “I felt like I wasn’t alone.”
5. Continue your support throughout someone’s cancer journey
For some women, “maintenance treatment” can last for many years beyond the active treatments of chemotherapy, radiation or surgery. Women living with metastatic breast cancer, for example, usually continue treatment throughout their lives.
Fleischmann recommends checking in with a woman along every step of her cancer journey: not just the period of active treatment, but also during maintenance treatment, survivorship, and if she is living with metastatic or advanced cancer.
“It’s nice to know my friends and family continued to reach out once I was done with treatment,” Harvey said. “Back to normal doesn’t mean life is ever normal.”
There are often heightened emotional needs around anniversaries of certain cancer diagnoses or treatment dates, Fleischmann said, so marking these dates could be important.
6. Make sure you have your own support system
If you’re particularly close to the person with cancer, you may experience feelings of being overwhelmed yourself. It’s important to take care of your own emotional well-being and not dismiss it in the face of someone else’s more pressing illness.
“As a caregiver, you can be very easily drained without your own coping mechanisms,” Fleischmann said.
Make sure to take care of yourself physically and emotionally so that you have the capacity to attend to your friend or loved one’s needs.
7. Talk to your healthcare provider and safeguard your own health
Even while supporting a loved one or friend with breast or ovarian cancer, it’s important to safeguard your own health.
The BRCA genetic mutation that causes breast cancer and ovarian cancer is much more common among Ashkenazi Jewish women than in the general U.S. population. About 1 in 40 Ashkenazi Jewish women and men carry the mutation, compared to 1 in 400 in the general population. Ashkenazi Jewish men are also at elevated risk for melanoma and prostate and pancreatic cancer.
“Talk to your healthcare provider,” Fleischmann said. “Those whose family members are facing hereditary breast and ovarian cancer should speak with their doctor or genetic counselor to see how this may affect them, too, and learn about appropriate testing and precautions.”
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The post 7 ways to offer support and Jewish strength to friends or loved ones facing cancer appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
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Israel Exposes Iranian Terror Network as IRGC-Linked Cells Expand Attacks Across Europe
Charred remains of ambulances belonging to Hatzola, a Jewish community organization, which were set on fire in an incident that the police say is being treated as an antisemitic hate crime, in northwest London, Britain, March 23, 2026. Photo: REUTERS/Hannah McKay
Israel has exposed a far-reaching Iranian-backed terrorist network targeting Israeli officials and overseas assets, as the Islamist regime intensifies a widening campaign of attacks against Jewish and Israeli targets across Europe through proxy groups.
On Monday, Israel’s foreign intelligence agency the Mossad, the Israel Defense Forces, and the country’s domestic security agency the Shin Bet released a joint statement confirming that authorities had uncovered and dismantled an Iranian-backed network after several of its members were arrested in Azerbaijan last month.
Following the onset of the US-Israeli war against Iran, the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC), the regime’s elite military force responsible for overseas terrorist operations and the coordination of proxy groups, has escalated efforts to establish cells abroad and carry out attacks, widening what officials describe as a sustained campaign of destabilization beyond the Middle East.
According to Israeli intelligence, members of the cell had smuggled explosive drones into Azerbaijan while gathering intelligence on potential targets under direct instructions from Iranian operatives as part of an organized effort to lay the groundwork for planned attacks.
With the arrest of the cell’s members, authorities were able to expose the broader terrorist network and its chain of command, including several senior operatives who were later killed during the US-Israeli campaign against Iran that began on Feb. 28.
Among those killed was Rahman Moqadam, head of the Special Operations Division within IRGC intelligence and the senior commander overseeing the network.
Moqadam allegedly recruited and trained operatives both inside and outside Iran to gather intelligence on Israeli political leaders, security officials, Israeli and Western military facilities, ports, and Israeli shipping routes worldwide.
Last month, Azerbaijan foiled a series of planned attacks linked to Iranian operatives on its territory, including plots targeting the Israeli embassy in Baku, a synagogue, and Jewish community leaders, as well as the Baku–Tbilisi–Ceyhan pipeline, which runs through Georgia and Turkey and supplies roughly a third of Israel’s oil imports.
Police arrested at least seven Azeri nationals in connection with the investigation.
At the time, government authorities said law enforcement “prevented terrorist acts and intelligence operations in Azerbaijan organized by Iran’s Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC).”
According to Israeli security officials, Mahdi Yekeh-Dehghan was identified as the network’s regional commander in Azerbaijan after Turkish authorities arrested six suspects, including an Iranian national, in January during coordinated raids across five provinces on charges of political and military espionage for Iran.
Yekeh-Dehghan is said to have directed the cell’s operations, including efforts to smuggle explosive drones from Iran through Turkey to Cyprus and to collect intelligence on US forces at Incirlik Air Base in southern Turkey.
Since the start of the war, European governments have tightened domestic security amid mounting fears that Iran could, in retaliation, activate proxy networks across the continent against Israeli and Western interests.
But even with increased security and heightened intelligence monitoring, Europe has seen a string of attacks targeting Jewish and Israeli institutions, several of them claimed by Harakat Ashab al-Yamin al-Islamiya, a newly emerged Iran-linked terror organization.
Just in April, the group claimed responsibility for a wave of attacks across the UK, Germany, North Macedonia, and the Netherlands, many of them concentrated in London.
Since emerging in early March, it has taken credit for at least 15 attacks against Jewish and Western targets across Europe.
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University of Michigan regents race turns into Israel litmus test for Democrats
A Republican businesswoman from a well-known Jewish family who narrowly lost a bid for the University of Michigan Board of Regents in 2022 suggested on Monday that Democrats may have handed her a second chance by nominating a candidate who is facing backlash for past praise of Hezbollah.
In an interview, Lena Epstein said the choice creates a “clear contrast” in a race that could be shaped by campus antisemitism and wars in the Middle East.
The Michigan Democratic convention on Sunday nominated civil rights attorney Amir Makled to run for the eight-member board tasked with governing the state’s university in the general election over incumbent regent Jordan Acker, who is Jewish. Acker had drawn criticism from pro-Palestinian students and activists over the university’s response to protests following the Oct. 7, 2023, Hamas attack and the war in Gaza.
Makled, who legally represented some demonstrators and backed calls for divestment from Israel, has since faced scrutiny over past social media posts viewed as pro-Hezbollah and antisemitic. He called Hezbollah leader Hassan Nasrallah a “martyr” after he was killed by Israeli strikes in 2024.
The controversy led the Service Employees International Union last week to rescind its endorsement of Makled. The posts were later deleted.
“Eyes are open, chills are going down people’s spines, terrified at the prospect of Makled representing their families at the University of Michigan Board of Regents,” said Epstein, a 2008 graduate of the University of Michigan’s Stephen M. Ross School of Business.
Epstein said she is now reaching out to Jewish Democrats who previously opposed her, framing the race as a nonpartisan effort to confront antisemitism and tensions over Israel on campus. Epstein lost her 2022 bid by just 0.7 percentage points in an election year when Democrats swept every statewide office. Democrats currently hold six seats on the regents board.
The Republican Party nominated Epstein last month alongside Michael Schostak, who is also Jewish and running for another open seat against incumbent Paul Brown. “When it comes to Israel and combating antisemitism on campus, there will be no greater regent than me,” Epstein said.
Epstein’s past controversies

Epstein is a third-generation owner and the chief executive of Vesco Oil Corporation, the business her grandfather Eugene Epstein founded in Southfield, Michigan, in 1947. Her mother’s family founded Winkelman’s department store in Detroit.
She is no stranger to controversy.
Epstein, who served as the Trump campaign co-chair in Michigan in 2016, made headlines after a country club her family had belonged to for generations canceled a scheduled fundraiser for her when she ran for Congress in 2018.
That year, days before she lost her bid for a U.S. House seat to Rep. Haley Stevens, who is now running in a Democratic primary for an open Senate seat, Epstein caused an uproar by inviting a Messianic rabbi to offer a prayer for the victims of the Pittsburgh Tree of Life synagogue massacre.
In 2023, Epstein faced scrutiny during her bid for chair of the Michigan Republican Party after saying she considered herself a “Jewish Messianic believer of Christ.” Mainstream Judaism does not accept Messianic Jews because they believe in the divinity of Christ and try to convert Jews to Christianity. Epstein later withdrew from the race.
In the interview on Monday, Epstein said she “never was” a Messianic Jew and apologized to anyone offended by it, calling it “nothing more than a blip.”
Epstein said she remains “very, very proud” of her Jewish identity and said she is actively involved in the community, including membership at Temple Beth El in Bloomfield Hills, a Reform congregation, where she said her eight-year-old daughter attends religious school, and participation in family milestones such as a recent bar mitzvah at Adat Shalom Synagogue, a Conservative congregation in Farmington Hills. She said she studies the Torah every Tuesday night with her mother and with a Chabad rabbi.
“I’m 100% Jewish,” she continued. “I apologize if any of that discussion offended anybody. But I definitely want to be very, very clear that my existence as a Jew, my love of Judaism, my commitment and passion for Judaism have never been stronger, and it’s been a lifelong pursuit.”
A test of Democrats’ Israel divide

Michigan is one of a few states in which voters play a direct role in choosing university overseers.
Makled’s nomination comes at a fraught moment for the Democratic Party, testing its coalition and approach to Israel policy amid the wars in Gaza and Iran. Michigan, home to the largest concentration of Arab Americans in the United States, was also the birthplace of the 2024 Uncommitted movement, which protested the Biden administration’s support for Israel in the war against Hamas that led more than 100,000 voters in Michigan to leave their primary ballots blank.
Anonymous text messages to state Democratic Party donors claimed that Acker, who met with Israeli President Isaac Herzog in January, would “put Israel first.” Acker’s home was vandalized in 2024 by pro-Palestinian protesters, some of whose homes were later raided by federal authorities.
Days before the convention, The Guardian reported that Acker had allegedly made “lewd” comments about a Democratic strategist in a private group chat. A lawyer for Acker said he had “doubts about the authenticity” of the evidence.
Makled is an ally of Abdul El-Sayed, a progressive U.S. Senate candidate from Michigan rising in the polls. El-Sayed, the son of Egyptian immigrants and a critic of Israel, faced backlash for appearing alongside streamer Hasan Piker, who has been accused of antisemitic rhetoric. In an interview with CNN aired Sunday, El-Sayed said that the Israeli government is “evil” like Hamas. “Killing tens of thousands of people makes you pretty damn evil,” El-Sayed said. “It’s not how evil is this one versus that one — Hamas: Evil, Israeli government: Evil. We can say both.”
Appearing at the El-Sayed campaign rally with Piker earlier this month, Makled told the Jewish Telegraphic Agency that he stood by his defense of the pro-Palestinian encampment while condemning the attack on Acker’s home.
At the Democratic convention on Sunday, Stevens, who is perceived as the preferred candidate of pro-Israel voters, was booed by delegates.
JTA contributed to this report.
The post University of Michigan regents race turns into Israel litmus test for Democrats appeared first on The Forward.
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Child Pregnancies Surge in Gaza Amid Reports of Hamas Fighters Demanding Sex From ‘Wives of Martyrs’ for Food
Hamas gunmen stand guard on the day that hostages held in Gaza since the deadly Oct. 7, 2023, attack, are handed over to the International Committee of the Red Cross (ICRC), as part of a ceasefire and hostages-prisoners swap deal between Hamas and Israel, in Khan Younis, southern Gaza Strip, Oct. 13, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Ramadan Abed
The sexual depravity that Hamas proudly broadcast to the world during its Oct. 7, 2023, rampage across southern Israel has now show up in Gaza, with video testimonies emerging of pervasive abuse, coercion for food, and an increase in both child marriages and child pregnancies.
In a new bombshell report, the Daily Mail presented findings from both the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) into rising child marriages and an anonymous journalist at Jusoor News who filmed Gaza residents reporting on the exploitation of women.
According to the UNFPA, while pre-war numbers of child brides fell to 11 percent in 2022, a decrease from 26 percent in 2009, marriage records from 2025 showed that at least 400 girls between 14 and 16 had become wives. This number likely only counts a fraction of the total as many such religious ceremonies to theologically justify child abuse go unreported.
Nestor Owomuhangi, whose official title is “UNFPA Representative to Palestine,” explained that war and collapsing humanitarian conditions had exacerbated this regression.
“We are witnessing the dismantling of a generation’s future,” Owomuhangi said.
Multiple men told Jusoor News they had seen or heard of Hamas members abusing women, with one reporting that a Hamas charity organization had blackmailed his neighbor and sought to become her pimp. “They wanted her to whore herself in exchange for a food parcel, or an aid voucher, or 100 shekels,” he said.
Exchange rates on Monday placed 100 shekels as equal to $33.48.
A fighter in Hamas’s military wing, the Qassam Brigades, confirmed the sex crimes, saying that Hamas members took advantage of the “wives of martyrs” in a tent in the Gharabli area in Deir al-Balah. He was told to say nothing but chose to tear down the tent, declaring, “We told them it was an insult to our honor and dignity.”
Another anonymous man in Gaza said “we were contacted by the wife of a friend. She had asked a Qassam Brigades commander to help her, but he took advantage of her. His behavior is disgraceful. We investigated the matter and found her in a tent in the Gharabli area where a bunch of Qassam members were taking advantage of her.”
He also reported that “we informed the leadership, but we were told we had to keep silent about it.”
An unnamed woman said she had experienced sexual harassment from a man at a Hamas charity who appeared religious when she sought help. “I asked him how he could talk to me like that. And he should be ashamed,” she said. “I told him I would expose him. He said, ‘You cannot expose me; I am the government here.’”
One anonymous elderly woman said that “one charity in Gaza is unfortunately the biggest perpetrator. From its chairman all the way down to its doorman, it’s being done by all their employees and members, as though it’s an organization set up for sexual harassment, psychological abuse, and harassing young women.”
Reports of rising sexual abuse against girls and widows come as Hamas continues to resist pressure to disarm in accordance with the US-backed ceasefire and peace plan for Gaza.
On Sunday, the New York Times reported that two Hamas officials had said the Palestinian terrorist group planned to surrender thousands of automatic rifles and small weapons which belonged to Gaza police and other internal security organizations. However, this would not entail full disarmament, which according to the peace plan is a key prerequisite for beginning major reconstruction of Gaza and for Israel, whose military currently controls 53 percent of the enclave, to further withdraw its force.
According to several reports, Hamas recently rejected the Board of Peace’s eight-month phased plan for the terrorist group to disarm. US President Donald Trump proposed the Board of Peace in September to oversee his plan to end the Israel-Hamas war in Gaza, subsequently saying it would address other conflicts.
Meanwhile, Hamas is further tightening its grip on the nearly half of Gazan territory it still controls, where the vast majority of the population lives.
Since the initial ceasefire took effect in October, Hamas has imposed a brutal crackdown, sparking clashes with rival militias as it seeks to eliminate any opposition.
The Meir Amit Intelligence and Terrorism Information Center (ITIC) — an Israel-based research institute — released a report last month explaining how the US-Israeli war against the Islamic regime in Iran had disrupted the second phase of the ceasefire agreement in Gaza, which required Hamas to disarm in order for Israeli troops to withdraw.
Earlier this month, Hamas demanded that the Israel Defense Forces exit first before giving up weapons.
ITIC’s analysts warned that this delay could enable Hamas — which still controls approximately 47 percent of Gaza — to rearm. The Islamist terrorists are reportedly smuggling in guns from Egypt and creating weapons internally.
In late March, Turkey reaffirmed its longstanding support for Hamas when the terrorist group’s senior negotiator Khalil Al-Khaya and its political bureau delegation met with Turkish intelligence chief Ibrahim Kalın. Kalın had also met with senior Hamas leaders in Istanbul the previous week.
According to the Middle East Monitor, the Hamas delegation “expressed its appreciation to President Recep Tayyip Erdogan for Turkey’s efforts to achieve peace in Gaza.”
