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7 ways to offer support and Jewish strength to friends or loved ones facing cancer

When Shoshana Polakoff, 40, received an unexpected breast cancer diagnosis three years ago, the mother of three young children needed extra support. Her friends, family and Jewish community in the Washington Heights neighborhood of Manhattan immediately stepped up.

They organized help with after-school childcare, packed school lunches for her kids and sent her little notes of encouragement while Polakoff endured trying cancer treatments.

“I felt pounds lighter and overwhelmed by the chesed that mobilized so quickly,” said Polakoff, using the Hebrew term for kindness. “And the practical help was such an incredible gift.”

Too often, however, friends and loved ones of cancer patients are at a loss for how to respond when someone close to them is diagnosed with cancer.

“Often they feel just as thrown into this new reality as the woman herself and are not sure what to do next,” said Adina Fleischmann, chief services officer for Sharsheret, the national Jewish breast cancer and ovarian cancer organization.

This is especially the case for young people who might never have had a family member or friend diagnosed with cancer before.

Fleischmann — whose organization offers extensive resources for cancer patients, ranging from emotional support, mental health counseling and education to financial subsidies for women and their families facing breast and ovarian cancer — has some guidance for what to say, how to reach out and what kind of help might be appropriate to provide in the face of a friend or family member’s cancer diagnosis.

It’s all about providing chizuk – Hebrew for strength – to the person facing cancer.

1. Establish the “Kvetching Order”

The “Kvetching Order,” based on a concept called the Ring Theory developed by clinical psychologist Susan Silk, dictates that those close to someone struggling with a cancer diagnosis offer only support to the cancer patient, and any kvetching about their own stress outward.

Thus, the person with cancer is at the center of a circle surrounded by a ring of her or his most intimate friends and loved ones. More distant concentric rings include other friends, acquaintances, more distant family and community members.

Colloquially known as “comfort in, dump out,” the Kvetching Order establishes a flow of support directed toward the person facing cancer.

2. Be clear and specific with offers of help

Support can look and feel different to different people facing cancer; each person’s needs and life circumstances are unique. When younger women are diagnosed with cancer — as often is the case with ovarian or breast cancers, where 50% of new diagnoses are in women under age 63 — patients often need extra help managing their responsibilities as parents and/or career professionals.

“Let the woman guide the journey,” Fleischmann says of the cancer patient. “Follow her lead.”

Sharsheret suggests offering concrete, practical assistance, such as offering to take the patient’s child to after-school activities or helping with homework. Maybe offer to come over to help clean the house, do laundry, or pick up groceries and make dinner for the family.

“But give the woman the feeling of control,” Fleischmann said. “Let her be in control of your support.”

Thus, a concrete suggestion like, “Can I bring you pizza for dinner on Wednesday?” is better than a vague offer of “What can I do to help?”

3. Check in often but don’t expect a response

By all means reach out to the person facing cancer. But if they don’t respond to your phone calls, emails or texts, don’t be put off.

“Sometimes the woman may not have the time or energy to respond,” Fleischmann said. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t continue reaching out. “She will appreciate knowing that you’re thinking of her.”

Polakoff found small gestures particularly meaningful.

“Little things meant a lot,” she said. “Like just a note that said, ‘I’m thinking of you. Have a good Shabbos.’”

4. Leave cancer out of it sometimes and just be with them

Kristen Harvey, who at 23 was faced with an ovarian cancer diagnosis for the second time, said it was important to have friends around her with whom she could talk about the future.

“Just being there was the best thing,” said Harvey, who recently graduated from college and lives in Michigan. “We didn’t need to do anything. I appreciated when people came over and we just hung out and watched a movie.”

Alexis Wilson, a teacher in Jupiter, Florida, said her friendships were essential during her breast cancer treatment. Before starting chemotherapy, her friends threw her a big party to which everyone showed up in different-colored wigs and decorated her yard with signs.

“My friends played a big role,” said Wilson, 39. “I felt like I wasn’t alone.”

5. Continue your support throughout someone’s cancer journey

For some women, “maintenance treatment” can last for many years beyond the active treatments of chemotherapy, radiation or surgery. Women living with metastatic breast cancer, for example, usually continue treatment throughout their lives.

Fleischmann recommends checking in with a woman along every step of her cancer journey: not just the period of active treatment, but also during maintenance treatment, survivorship, and if she is living with metastatic or advanced cancer.

“It’s nice to know my friends and family continued to reach out once I was done with treatment,” Harvey said. “Back to normal doesn’t mean life is ever normal.”

There are often heightened emotional needs around anniversaries of certain cancer diagnoses or treatment dates, Fleischmann said, so marking these dates could be important.

6. Make sure you have your own support system

If you’re particularly close to the person with cancer, you may experience feelings of being overwhelmed yourself. It’s important to take care of your own emotional well-being and not dismiss it in the face of someone else’s more pressing illness.

“As a caregiver, you can be very easily drained without your own coping mechanisms,” Fleischmann said.

Make sure to take care of yourself physically and emotionally so that you have the capacity to attend to your friend or loved one’s needs.

7. Talk to your healthcare provider and safeguard your own health

Even while supporting a loved one or friend with breast or ovarian cancer, it’s important to safeguard your own health.

The BRCA genetic mutation that causes breast cancer and ovarian cancer is much more common among Ashkenazi Jewish women than in the general U.S. population. About 1 in 40 Ashkenazi Jewish women and men carry the mutation, compared to 1 in 400 in the general population. Ashkenazi Jewish men are also at elevated risk for melanoma and prostate and pancreatic cancer.

“Talk to your healthcare provider,” Fleischmann said. “Those whose family members are facing hereditary breast and ovarian cancer should speak with their doctor or genetic counselor to see how this may affect them, too, and learn about appropriate testing and precautions.”


The post 7 ways to offer support and Jewish strength to friends or loved ones facing cancer appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.

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At Least 20% of Mamdani Transition Appointees Have Radical Anti-Zionist Ties, ADL Report Finds

New York City mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani holds a press conference at the Unisphere in the Queens borough of New York City, US, Nov. 5, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Kylie Cooper

Scores of New York City Mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani’s transition and administrative appointees have histories of antisemitic rhetoric, support for terrorist groups, or affiliations with organizations hostile to Israel and the Jewish community, according to a new report by the Anti-Defamation League (ADL).

In a detailed document released this week, the ADL said it reviewed more than 400 individuals appointed on Nov. 24 to serve on 17 transition committees responsible for staffing the incoming administration and shaping its policy agenda. The ADL said at least 20 percent of these appointees have either a “documented history of making anti-Israel statements” or ties to radical anti-Zionist organizations that “openly promote terror and harass Jewish people.” Among these groups are Students for Justice in Palestine (SJP), Jewish Voice for Peace (JVP), and Within Our Lifetime (WOL), all of which routinely glorify the Palestinian terrorist group Hamas terrorist group, harass Jewish students on campus, and stage protests outside synagogues.

According to the ADL, Mamdani’s appointees include individuals who have promoted classic antisemitic tropes, vilified supporters of Jewish self-determination, sought to undermine the legitimacy of Israel, expressed sympathy for Hamas, and celebrated the Oct. 7, 2023, massacre carried out by the Iran-backed terrorist group. Several appointees were also flagged for alleged connections to Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan, who has compared Jews to termites, described Judaism as a “dirty religion,” called the Jewish people “Satan,” publicly questioned the Holocaust, shared anti-Israel conspiracy theories, and blamed Jews for pedophilia and sex trafficking. Others, according to ADL, dismissed reports of Hamas atrocities as “propaganda” or publicly justified the Oct. 7 atrocities as a form of justified “resistance.”

The ADL said, for example, that Gianpaolo Baiocchi, who was recently appointed to the Committee on Community Organizing, participated in an anti-Israel encampment at New York University (NYU). He defended the encampments, claiming that “there was no expression of anti-semitism [sic], bigotry, or any hate speech.” However, previous reports of these encampments reveal that demonstrators often used slogans such as “Destroy Zionist business interests everywhere,” “Death to Israeli real estate,” “Enough with de-escalation trainings; where are the escalation trainings?” and “Death to America.”

Zakiyah Shaakir-Ansari, who was tapped to the Committee on Youth & Education, posted a picture of herself posing in front of a banner displaying an inverted red triangle — a common symbol at pro-Hamas rallies used by the Palestinian terrorist group in its propaganda videos to indicate Israeli targets about to be attacked — and the words “long live the resistance” written in large font. 

Alina Shen, who was selected to serve on the Committee on Housing, was an organizer for the anti-Israel organization CAAAV: Organizing Asian Communities. During her tenure, CAAAV labeled Israel a “settler colonial” entity and affirmed that “resistance” against the country is justified. 

“We support the Palestinian revolt against the zionist [sic], colonial power of israel [sic]…CAAAV stands in solidarity with the people of Palestine, the freedom fighters who are fighting for their future,” the organization wrote during the 2021 Israel-Hamas war. 

Additionally, several transition appointees have expressed vocal support for Farrakhan. Jacques Léandre, tapped to join the Committee on Legal Affairs, attended a 2022 Saviours’ Day conference in which Farrakhan lambasted “the Jews and their power.” He also lauded Farrakhan for displaying “courage, integrity, and compassion.”

Tamika Mallory, the former Women’s March co-chair who was forced out of the organization amid allegations of antisemitism, was also appointed to Mamdani’s transition team, to serve on the Committee on Community Safety. She has faced ongoing criticism for her praise of Farrakhan.

Mysonne Linen, appointed to the Committee on the Criminal Legal System, also maintains a personal relationship with Farrakhan, according to the ADL. 

“Many of Mayor-elect Mamdani’s Transition Committee appointments are inconsistent with his campaign commitments to prioritize the safety of New York’s Jewish community,” the ADL wrote in its report. “The composition of these Transition Committees will directly influence the administration’s policies and approach to Jewish community concerns, and the current appointments raise serious questions as to whether those concerns will not be adequately represented or addressed.”

At the same time, the ADL acknowledged several steps taken by Mamdani that it described as positive. Following a deadly antisemitic shooting at a Hanukkah celebration in Sydney, Australia earlier this month, Mamdani condemned the attack as “a vile act of antisemitic terror” and pledged to keep Jewish New Yorkers safe. He also visited the resting place of Chabad-Lubavitch leader Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson in Queens and met with leaders of the Satmar community and the New York Board of Rabbis.

Still, Jewish leaders remain concerned. After meeting with Mamdani, Rabbi Ammiel Hirsch of New York’s Stephen Wise Free Synagogue warned that the mayor-elect’s anti-Zionist rhetoric could endanger Jewish safety in the city and strain relations with the Jewish community.

Mamdani, a far-left democratic socialist and anti-Zionist, is an avid supporter of boycotting all Israeli-tied entities who has been widely accused of promoting antisemitic rhetoric. He has repeatedly accused Israel of “apartheid” and “genocide”; refused to recognize the country’s right to exist as a Jewish state; and refused to explicitly condemn the phrase “globalize the intifada,” which has been associated with calls for violence against Jews and Israelis worldwide.

Leading members of the Jewish community in New York have expressed alarm about Mamdani’s victory, fearing what may come in a city already experiencing a surge in antisemitic hate crimes.

A Sienna Research Institute poll released in early November revealed that a whopping 72 percent of Jewish New Yorkers believe that Mamdani will be “bad” for the city. A mere 18 percent hold a favorable view of Mamdani, according to the results, while 67 percent view him unfavorably.

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Belgian Musicians, Italian Broadcast Union Pressure Their Countries to Boycott Eurovision Over Israel’s Participation

A photographer takes a picture of a TV screen in Wiener Stadthalle, the venue of next year’s Eurovision in Vienna, Austria, Nov. 18, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Leonhard Foeger

Two collective groups in Belgium and Italy are pressuring their respective countries to withdraw participation in the 2026 Eurovision Song Contest because of Israel’s involvement in the competition, which is set to take place in Vienna, Austria, in May.

A group of 170 Belgian artists and cultural figures signed a petition that called on the country’s national broadcaster RTBF to “honor its public service mission” and pull out of the 70th edition of the Eurovision Song Contest “as long as a state trampling underfoot the very foundations of our common humanity is welcome.” They accused Israel of conducting a “war of extermination waged against the Palestinian people” in the Gaza Strip and of using cultural events to “art-wash” its military actions.

“In our view, this constitutes a serious breach of the ethical and moral obligations of public broadcasters,” read the petition, as reported by French-language Belgian daily La Libre. “Participating in Eurovision allows Israel to maintain the illusion that it is a modern and exemplary Western democracy, and thus to more easily conceal its criminal actions.”

The signatories also claimed that “for years, the Israeli government has used major artistic and cultural events for propaganda purposes in order to divert attention from its regime of occupation, colonization, and apartheid against the Palestinian people.” They further denounced the Belgian broadcaster VRT, which nominates Belgium’s representative who will compete in the Eurovision, and claimed the European Broadcasting Union (EBU), which organizes the competition, of displaying double standards for allowing Israel to compete while excluding Russia following its invasion of Ukraine in 2022.

The national broadcasters of Spain, Ireland, Iceland, the Netherlands, and Slovenia have already announced they will not participate in the 2026 Eurovision or broadcast the final on their national television channels, after it was confirmed in early December that Israel will be allowed to compete in next year’s contest.

The union group USB-RAI Coordination, at Italy’s state broadcaster RAI, launched a petition that urged RAI to join the countries “making the courageous decision” to boycott Eurovision 2026 because of Israel’s involvement. The union branch was founded two years ago and has currently around 50 members at the state broadcaster, according to Euronews. Their petition already has more than 7,000 signatures.

“By withdrawing Italy from Eurovision and deciding not to broadcast the event, RAI would not only be taking an ethically and empathetically justifiable stance, but would also be setting a moral example on the international stage,” the USB said in a statement. “Such a gesture would demonstrate how much Italy values ​​human dignity, equality, and justice for all peoples. We would make our voice heard globally, showing that we do not turn a blind eye to injustice.”

Italy is one of the “Big Five” countries (with France, Spain, Germany, and the United Kingdom) that have supported the Eurovision Song Contest since the first competition in 1956. In a statement on Dec. 5, RAI confirmed its participation in the contest and said Italy has “always been among the countries that believed in and invested in the Eurovision Song Contest, contributing significantly, including financially, to its development and international success.”

“In recent years our commitment has grown steadily, testifying to the value we attach to an event that is the longest-running international music show, capable of uniting diverse cultures in a shared celebration,” the broadcaster added. “RAI’s involvement in the competition confirms the determination to strengthen Italy’s role in the promotion of music, culture, and entertainment at international level. RAI supports the participation of the Israeli public broadcaster Kan in the next edition [of the Eurovision].”

On Dec. 11, last year’s Eurovision winner Nemo announced on social media they will return their trophy to the EBU in protest of Israel’s participation in the Eurovision. A day later, Charlie McGettigan, who won the 1994 Eurovision with fellow Irish singer Paul Harrington with the song “Rock ‘n’ Roll Kids,” said he was returning his trophy to the EBU for the same reason.

The Austrian public broadcaster ORF, host of the upcoming Eurovision Song Contest, confirmed last week that it will not prohibit the Palestinian flag in the audience nor censor any booing directed at Israel’s performance.

“We will allow all official flags that exist in the world, if they comply with the law and are in a certain form – size, security risks, etc,” said the show’s executive producer, Michael Kroen. “We will not sugarcoat anything or avoid showing what is happening, because our task is to show things as they are.”

In an effort to pressure Portugal to boycott the 2026 Eurovision, several Portuguese artists announced in a joint statement that they would not go to Vienna to take part in the event because of Israel’s participation.

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Iran Accuses Israel of False Flag Attacks on Jews Abroad as Regime’s Executions Reach Record Levels

People walk near a mural of Iran’s Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, amid the Iran-Israel conflict, in Tehran, Iran, June 23, 2025. Photo: Majid Asgaripour/WANA (West Asia News Agency) via REUTERS

Iran continues to accuse Israel of orchestrating false-flag attacks against Jews and Israelis abroad to stoke fears of antisemitism in the wake of the Bondi Beach massacre, even as the regime escalates its own domestic crackdown, with public executions reaching record levels.

Speaking to commanders of the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC) on Sunday, Iranian military chief Maj. Gen. Abdolrahim Mousavi referred to the deadly attack on a Hanukkah celebration at Sydney’s Bondi Beach, which killed 15 people and wounded at least 40 others, as “not the first time that Jews have been targeted in an attempt to portray Israel as a victim,” accusing the Jewish state of committing similar crimes in the past.

“The Zionist regime has assassinated members of the Jewish community and their affiliates in other countries to prevent reverse migration, escape internal turmoil, and instill antisemitism,” Mousavi said. 

However, as the Islamist regime in Iran continues to issue baseless accusations, Australian and Israeli authorities are actually investigating whether Tehran had a role in orchestrating the mass shooting targeting Sydney’s Jewish community, citing the regime’s long history of plotting terrorist attacks abroad.

According to Iranian media, Mousavi also accused the United States and Israel of wrongdoing, saying “the events of the past two years have exposed their criminal nature to the world.”

“Enemies of the country are lawbreakers, warmongers, and deceivers, and they do not adhere to any international law or humanitarian norms,” he said. 

In the immediate aftermath of the Dec. 14 massacre at Bondi Beach, the Iranian Foreign Ministry publicly condemned the “violent attack” in Sydney, though tje statement was vague and made no mention of antisemitism, the local Jewish community, or any specific target.

However, Iranian state and semi-official media pushed a starkly different narrative, spreading conspiracy theories that framed the attack as a plot orchestrated by Israel. Other outlets expressed support for the attack, even praising it, claiming that the rabbi who was killed during the massacre, Eli Schlanger, was a “staunch advocate of genocide in Gaza.”

The Iranian news agency Mehr openly called “the Zionist regime” the main suspect, portraying the attack as a “false flag” operation allegedly designed to serve Israeli interests.

Earlier this year, Britain, the United States, France, and 11 other allies issued a joint statement condemning a rise in Iranian assassination and kidnapping plots in the West, as a new report warned Tehran has been intensifying efforts to target Jewish communities abroad.

With a surge in assassination, kidnapping, and harassment plots targeting individuals in multiple countries, Western allies urged Iranian authorities to halt these illegal actions, noting how the regime continues to promote antisemitism abroad and recruits criminal networks to carry out attacks against Jews.

Iran is facing mounting international pressure not only over its terror operations abroad but also for its escalating brutal internal crackdown amid growing domestic tensions and crises.

According to Iran Human Rights Monitor (IHR), a Norway-based NGO that tracks the death penalty in the country, at least 1,791 people have been executed this year, marking a staggering rise from the 993 executions recorded in 2024.

Most of those executed were accused of collaborating with Mossad — Israel’s national intelligence agency — and aiding covert operations in Tehran, such as assassinations and sabotage targeting the country’s nuclear program.

With at least 61 women among those executed, Iran remains the world’s leading executioner on a per capita basis, using capital punishment as a tool of repression, fear, and ideological control.

Last week, a group of survivors, together with the Iran Human Rights Documentation Center (IHRDC), filed a criminal complaint in Argentina accusing Iranian authorities of crimes against humanity committed during the 2022 Woman, Life, Freedom protests.

In a first-ever legal action of its kind, survivors of the regime’s atrocities filed a criminal complaint against 40 named Iranian officials, alleging gender persecution, murder, torture, and other brutal acts, including targeted blinding, in response to the regime’s brutal 2022 crackdown.

With this lawsuit, plaintiffs are asking the Argentine court to investigate senior figures in Iran’s intelligence services, military, police, the IRGC, and civilian government for their roles in a widespread and systematic assault on civilians.

Among those filing the complaint is Mahsa Piraei, one of Minoo Majidi’s three children, seeking justice for her 62-year-old mother who was shot dead in September 2022.

According to autopsy reports, more than 167 metal pellets were fired into her back at point-blank range.

“In our own country, we could not find justice for my mother’s killing, as the judiciary is neither fair nor independent,” Piraei said. “But today, I am happy that this crime has not crushed our hope for justice, and that our efforts are finally bearing fruit.”

“With the help of human rights lawyers, we are taking our case to courts outside of Iran,” she continued. “I believe that our perseverance as families seeking justice, and our commitment to upholding human dignity, is a global cause that knows no borders.”

The 2022 Woman, Life, Freedom protests erupted nationwide after Mahsa Amini, a young Kurdish woman, died in a Tehran police station following her arrest for allegedly violating Iran’s hijab rules, igniting a nationwide uprising calling for human rights and individual freedoms.

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