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7 ways to offer support and Jewish strength to friends or loved ones facing cancer
When Shoshana Polakoff, 40, received an unexpected breast cancer diagnosis three years ago, the mother of three young children needed extra support. Her friends, family and Jewish community in the Washington Heights neighborhood of Manhattan immediately stepped up.
They organized help with after-school childcare, packed school lunches for her kids and sent her little notes of encouragement while Polakoff endured trying cancer treatments.
“I felt pounds lighter and overwhelmed by the chesed that mobilized so quickly,” said Polakoff, using the Hebrew term for kindness. “And the practical help was such an incredible gift.”
Too often, however, friends and loved ones of cancer patients are at a loss for how to respond when someone close to them is diagnosed with cancer.
“Often they feel just as thrown into this new reality as the woman herself and are not sure what to do next,” said Adina Fleischmann, chief services officer for Sharsheret, the national Jewish breast cancer and ovarian cancer organization.
This is especially the case for young people who might never have had a family member or friend diagnosed with cancer before.
Fleischmann — whose organization offers extensive resources for cancer patients, ranging from emotional support, mental health counseling and education to financial subsidies for women and their families facing breast and ovarian cancer — has some guidance for what to say, how to reach out and what kind of help might be appropriate to provide in the face of a friend or family member’s cancer diagnosis.
It’s all about providing chizuk – Hebrew for strength – to the person facing cancer.
1. Establish the “Kvetching Order”
The “Kvetching Order,” based on a concept called the Ring Theory developed by clinical psychologist Susan Silk, dictates that those close to someone struggling with a cancer diagnosis offer only support to the cancer patient, and any kvetching about their own stress outward.
Thus, the person with cancer is at the center of a circle surrounded by a ring of her or his most intimate friends and loved ones. More distant concentric rings include other friends, acquaintances, more distant family and community members.
Colloquially known as “comfort in, dump out,” the Kvetching Order establishes a flow of support directed toward the person facing cancer.
2. Be clear and specific with offers of help
Support can look and feel different to different people facing cancer; each person’s needs and life circumstances are unique. When younger women are diagnosed with cancer — as often is the case with ovarian or breast cancers, where 50% of new diagnoses are in women under age 63 — patients often need extra help managing their responsibilities as parents and/or career professionals.
“Let the woman guide the journey,” Fleischmann says of the cancer patient. “Follow her lead.”
Sharsheret suggests offering concrete, practical assistance, such as offering to take the patient’s child to after-school activities or helping with homework. Maybe offer to come over to help clean the house, do laundry, or pick up groceries and make dinner for the family.
“But give the woman the feeling of control,” Fleischmann said. “Let her be in control of your support.”
Thus, a concrete suggestion like, “Can I bring you pizza for dinner on Wednesday?” is better than a vague offer of “What can I do to help?”
3. Check in often but don’t expect a response
By all means reach out to the person facing cancer. But if they don’t respond to your phone calls, emails or texts, don’t be put off.
“Sometimes the woman may not have the time or energy to respond,” Fleischmann said. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t continue reaching out. “She will appreciate knowing that you’re thinking of her.”
Polakoff found small gestures particularly meaningful.
“Little things meant a lot,” she said. “Like just a note that said, ‘I’m thinking of you. Have a good Shabbos.’”
4. Leave cancer out of it sometimes and just be with them
Kristen Harvey, who at 23 was faced with an ovarian cancer diagnosis for the second time, said it was important to have friends around her with whom she could talk about the future.
“Just being there was the best thing,” said Harvey, who recently graduated from college and lives in Michigan. “We didn’t need to do anything. I appreciated when people came over and we just hung out and watched a movie.”
Alexis Wilson, a teacher in Jupiter, Florida, said her friendships were essential during her breast cancer treatment. Before starting chemotherapy, her friends threw her a big party to which everyone showed up in different-colored wigs and decorated her yard with signs.
“My friends played a big role,” said Wilson, 39. “I felt like I wasn’t alone.”
5. Continue your support throughout someone’s cancer journey
For some women, “maintenance treatment” can last for many years beyond the active treatments of chemotherapy, radiation or surgery. Women living with metastatic breast cancer, for example, usually continue treatment throughout their lives.
Fleischmann recommends checking in with a woman along every step of her cancer journey: not just the period of active treatment, but also during maintenance treatment, survivorship, and if she is living with metastatic or advanced cancer.
“It’s nice to know my friends and family continued to reach out once I was done with treatment,” Harvey said. “Back to normal doesn’t mean life is ever normal.”
There are often heightened emotional needs around anniversaries of certain cancer diagnoses or treatment dates, Fleischmann said, so marking these dates could be important.
6. Make sure you have your own support system
If you’re particularly close to the person with cancer, you may experience feelings of being overwhelmed yourself. It’s important to take care of your own emotional well-being and not dismiss it in the face of someone else’s more pressing illness.
“As a caregiver, you can be very easily drained without your own coping mechanisms,” Fleischmann said.
Make sure to take care of yourself physically and emotionally so that you have the capacity to attend to your friend or loved one’s needs.
7. Talk to your healthcare provider and safeguard your own health
Even while supporting a loved one or friend with breast or ovarian cancer, it’s important to safeguard your own health.
The BRCA genetic mutation that causes breast cancer and ovarian cancer is much more common among Ashkenazi Jewish women than in the general U.S. population. About 1 in 40 Ashkenazi Jewish women and men carry the mutation, compared to 1 in 400 in the general population. Ashkenazi Jewish men are also at elevated risk for melanoma and prostate and pancreatic cancer.
“Talk to your healthcare provider,” Fleischmann said. “Those whose family members are facing hereditary breast and ovarian cancer should speak with their doctor or genetic counselor to see how this may affect them, too, and learn about appropriate testing and precautions.”
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The post 7 ways to offer support and Jewish strength to friends or loved ones facing cancer appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
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Danny Wolf will see you now
When the Brooklyn Nets drafted Danny Wolf this summer out of the University of Michigan, scouts said they were getting a versatile big man who could get buckets, create for his teammates and rebound.
But the last few days of NBA action have shown the Jewish seven-footer picking up a surprising new habit: putting his opponents on posters.
After scuffling through the first two months of the season with a bum ankle, Wolf announced his arrival Saturday with a thundering jam on the Milwaukee Bucks’ Kyle Kuzma, for two of the forward’s career-best 22 points.
He claimed his next victim, in a 10-point, 7-rebound outing two days later, driving from the top of the arc before leaping off his left foot and dropping the hammer on the Charlotte Hornets’ Miles Bridges:
“That may get two howls!” Nets play-by-play announcer Ryan Ruocco cried.
Early returns have been limited since the Brooklyn Nets grabbed Israeli point guard Ben Saraf and Wolf with the 26th and 27th picks this summer. The learning curve for young floor generals is notoriously steep, and Saraf — who wears the number 77 to represent the Hebrew word mazal, meaning good fortune — has struggled to stay in the playing rotation.
But Wolf, an American-Israeli who was bar mitzvahed in Israel, is finding his footing — at least when he’s not taking off for a dunk. He dropped in five high-arcing three pointers against the Bucks, eliciting excited howls from Nets color commentator Sarah Kustok; before the Charlotte game, he apparently told teammates he was going to posterize somebody.
“I was kinda saying that as a joke,” he said, “but looking at it as an opportunity, and just trying to attack the rim, I did it, with rewards.”
“He manifested it,” said teammate Nic Claxton.
Let’s enjoy one more picture of Claxton and Wolf:
And here’s a Danny Wolf meme for good measure, courtesy of the Nets social media.
The post Danny Wolf will see you now appeared first on The Forward.
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Turkey Pushes for Closer Ties With Iran Despite Mounting Sanctions as Both Countries Pursue Regional Ambitions
Turkish President Tayyip Erdogan attends a press conference with German Chancellor Friedrich Merz at the Presidential Palace in Ankara, Turkey, Oct. 30, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Umit Bektas
Despite the recent reimposition of UN sanctions on Iran, Turkey has called for closer diplomatic and trade relations with the Iranian regime, as both countries seek to bolster their influence in the Middle East while openly targeting Israel.
In a new interview with the semi-official Iranian news outlet ISNA, Turkey’s Ambassador to Iran, Hicabi Kırlangıç, said Ankara was working to expand bilateral cooperation with Tehran by leveraging existing capabilities to increase economic ties between the two countries.
“One of the obstacles to expanding trade relations between Iran and Turkey is the issue of sanctions. However, we should not cling to this excuse and refrain from trying to increase trade relations,” Kırlangıç said.
“The goal is to raise the level of trade relations to $30 billion, but we are still far from this figure,” he continued, emphasizing the vast potential for economic growth and the need for careful planning to achieve it.
The Turkish diplomat’s latest remarks followed Foreign Minister Hakan Fidan’s visit on Sunday to Tehran, where he also pushed for stronger bilateral cooperation between the two countries and denounced what he called “unfair sanctions” on Iran.
In a joint press conference with Iranian Foreign Minister Abbas Araghchi, Fidan reaffirmed Turkey’s support for Tehran while calling for the country’s nuclear program to be addressed through dialogue amid ongoing discussions to restart nuclear talks with the West.
After repeated unsuccessful negotiations over Iran’s nuclear program, European countries launched the process to reinstate wide-ranging UN sanctions earlier this year under the so-called snapback mechanism, adding further pressure on Tehran, which was already facing mounting US sanctions.
Fidan called for the removal of these “unrighteous” sanctions, stressing that the Iranian regime must resolve outstanding issues “on the basis of international law.”
“Turkey has always stood with Iran and will continue to stand with Iran within the framework of international law,” the top Turkish diplomat said, adding that “these unfair sanctions should be lifted.”
During their high-level meeting in Tehran, officials from both countries vowed to significantly expand cooperation on trade, energy, border management, and regional security, noting that economic ties remain well below their potential.
As part of their announced initiatives, the two nations agreed to build a new joint rail line that will serve as a strategic trade corridor between Asia and Europe, with construction expected to take three to four years and cost roughly $1.6 billion.
Fidan also said both countries consider Israel “the biggest threat to stability in the Middle East,” pointing to the war in Gaza, tensions in Lebanon and Syria, and broader concerns over what he called “Israeli expansionist policies.”
“The international community must fulfill its responsibilities,” he said, calling for stronger global pressure on the Jewish state.
Amid international efforts to uphold the Israel-Hamas ceasefire and chart a path for post-war Gaza, Turkey — a longtime backer of Hamas — has been pushing to expand its role in Gaza’s reconstruction efforts, which experts have warned could potentially strengthen Hamas’s terrorist infrastructure.
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Israeli Real Estate Firm Denies Canceling New York Event Due to Anti-Zionist Group’s ‘Stolen Land’ Protest
Illustrative: Demonstrators attend an anti-Israel protest on the day of the two-year anniversary of the attack on Israel by Hamas, in New York City, US, Oct. 7, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Shannon Stapleton
An Israeli real estate firm has denied canceling an event set to take place in New York City on Tuesday due to a planned demonstration organized by a notorious anti-Israel group, saying the cancellation was for unrelated reasons.
A spokesperson for CapitIL, which provides information about buying real estate in Israel, said the gathering was canceled so the firm could focus its resources on holding a larger event in the coming months, according to the Times of Israel.
The Israeli publication reported that CapitIL’s event for this week had already been canceled when the local chapter of the radical anti-Zionist activist organization Pal-Awda announced the protest on Friday.
“When we as a community challenge the zionists’ genocidal settler-colonial machine we can win! And we did! We forced the cancellation of zionist land thieving CapitIL Real Estate’s planned illegal land sale in Manhattan,” Pal-Awda posted on social media on Tuesday.
“All this shows the importance and strength of our community when we turn out to challenge these genociders,” the group continued. “Please continue to follow us as we will continue to expose and, with our community’s support, challenge the zionist entity’s long tentacles here in [New York and New Jersey].”
Pal-Awda celebrated the cancellation of the so-called “illegal” sale of “stolen land” in Israel.
“This series of cancellations speaks to the power of our mobilization: with every principled protest and disruption, we are making the theft of Palestinian land untenable in our neighborhoods,” the group wrote. “As our protests have grown in size, we have seen more and more agencies and organizations similarly cancel and delay events, fearing the consequences of accountability and community outcry.”
On Friday, Pal-Awda initially advertised the planned protest.
“A zionist real estate event attempting to sell land in occupied Palestine will be held in Manhattan,” it posted. “This event is part of the zionists’ ongoing effort to ethnically cleanse Palestine. Join as we confront the white supremacist, settler-colonial project!”
The group called for supporters to gather in force.
“As the United States continues to provide political cover & military support for the ongoing indiscriminate assaults on Palestine, Lebanon, Syria, & Yemen, zionist settlers are exploiting this moment to further their settler-colonial agenda,” it said. “This expansion is facilitated by zionists from all over the world, including most prominently in the US, through real estate events where Stolen Land is sold & discounted mortgages are provided by “isr@eli” banks backed by the zionist entity’s government.”
Rabbi Marc Schneier, president of the Foundation for Ethnic Understanding, called on New York City Mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani, who takes office next month, to take an aggressive stand against such protests and push for a ban of such demonstrations in front of houses of worship.
“In my conversation with Mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani recently, I made it clear that the Jewish community will not stand idly by for such antisemitic and violent protests,” Schneier told The Algemeiner. “I hope that we will be able to work together to put my plan into action, creating a ban of protests on the property of any house of worship. This cannot be the new norm in New York City.”
Last month, Pal-Awda organized a gathering of demonstrators who called for violence against Jews outside a prominent synagogue.
The protesters were harassing those attending an event being held by Nefesh B’Nefesh, a Zionist organization that helps Jews immigrate to Israel, at Park East Synagogue in Manhattan.
“We don’t want no Zionists here!” the group of roughly 200 anti-Israel activists chanted in intervals while waving the Palestinian flag. “Resistance, you make us proud, take another settler out.”
One protester, addressing the crowd, reportedly proclaimed, “It is our duty to make them think twice before holding these events! We need to make them scared.”
Footage on social media also showed agitators chanting “death to the IDF,” referring to the Israel Defense Forces, as well as “globalize the intifada” and “intifada revolution.” Community figures described the scene as openly threatening and a stark escalation of anti-Jewish hostility in New York City.
Mamdani, a strident critic of Israel, drew immense backlash after releasing a statement which “discouraged” the language used by the protesters but also condemned the event for supposedly using “sacred spaces … to promote activities in violation of international law.”
Jewish leaders reacted with disappointment, arguing that Mamdani effectively provided political justification for a protest that targeted Jews for participating in a mainstream, fully legal pro-Israel program. Critics said the mayor-elect’s framing implied that the synagogue event, not the threatening chants outside, was the real problem, a position they described as deeply irresponsible amid rising antisemitism in the city.
Pal-Awda has vowed to hold demonstrations at “private homes, businesses, and houses of worship” if necessary “to stop the pipeline of settlement and zionist colonial expansion.”
In addition to the nixed CapitIL event, Pal-Awda also claimed on Tuesday that it caused Nefesh B’Nefesh to cancel a separate event planned for Thursday in Manhattan. The Algemeiner could not immediately confirm the veracity of that claim.
New York City has been ravaged by a surge in antisemitic incidents since Hamas’s Oct. 7, 2023, massacre across southern Israel. According to police data, Jews were targeted in the majority of hate crimes perpetrated in New York City last year. Meanwhile, pro-Hamas activists have held raucous — and sometimes violent — protests on the city’s college campuses, oftentimes causing Jewish students to fear for their safety.
Leaders of the Jewish community have raised alarm bells following the rapid political ascendance of Mamdani, a far-left democratic socialist and anti-Zionist. Mamdani is an avid supporter of boycotting all Israeli-tied entities who has been widely accused of promoting antisemitic rhetoric. He has repeatedly accused Israel of “apartheid” and “genocide;” refused to recognize the country’s right to exist as a Jewish state; and refused to explicitly condemn the phrase “globalize the intifada,” which has been associated with calls for violence against Jews and Israelis worldwide.