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7 ways to offer support and Jewish strength to friends or loved ones facing cancer
When Shoshana Polakoff, 40, received an unexpected breast cancer diagnosis three years ago, the mother of three young children needed extra support. Her friends, family and Jewish community in the Washington Heights neighborhood of Manhattan immediately stepped up.
They organized help with after-school childcare, packed school lunches for her kids and sent her little notes of encouragement while Polakoff endured trying cancer treatments.
“I felt pounds lighter and overwhelmed by the chesed that mobilized so quickly,” said Polakoff, using the Hebrew term for kindness. “And the practical help was such an incredible gift.”
Too often, however, friends and loved ones of cancer patients are at a loss for how to respond when someone close to them is diagnosed with cancer.
“Often they feel just as thrown into this new reality as the woman herself and are not sure what to do next,” said Adina Fleischmann, chief services officer for Sharsheret, the national Jewish breast cancer and ovarian cancer organization.
This is especially the case for young people who might never have had a family member or friend diagnosed with cancer before.
Fleischmann — whose organization offers extensive resources for cancer patients, ranging from emotional support, mental health counseling and education to financial subsidies for women and their families facing breast and ovarian cancer — has some guidance for what to say, how to reach out and what kind of help might be appropriate to provide in the face of a friend or family member’s cancer diagnosis.
It’s all about providing chizuk – Hebrew for strength – to the person facing cancer.
1. Establish the “Kvetching Order”
The “Kvetching Order,” based on a concept called the Ring Theory developed by clinical psychologist Susan Silk, dictates that those close to someone struggling with a cancer diagnosis offer only support to the cancer patient, and any kvetching about their own stress outward.
Thus, the person with cancer is at the center of a circle surrounded by a ring of her or his most intimate friends and loved ones. More distant concentric rings include other friends, acquaintances, more distant family and community members.
Colloquially known as “comfort in, dump out,” the Kvetching Order establishes a flow of support directed toward the person facing cancer.
2. Be clear and specific with offers of help
Support can look and feel different to different people facing cancer; each person’s needs and life circumstances are unique. When younger women are diagnosed with cancer — as often is the case with ovarian or breast cancers, where 50% of new diagnoses are in women under age 63 — patients often need extra help managing their responsibilities as parents and/or career professionals.
“Let the woman guide the journey,” Fleischmann says of the cancer patient. “Follow her lead.”
Sharsheret suggests offering concrete, practical assistance, such as offering to take the patient’s child to after-school activities or helping with homework. Maybe offer to come over to help clean the house, do laundry, or pick up groceries and make dinner for the family.
“But give the woman the feeling of control,” Fleischmann said. “Let her be in control of your support.”
Thus, a concrete suggestion like, “Can I bring you pizza for dinner on Wednesday?” is better than a vague offer of “What can I do to help?”
3. Check in often but don’t expect a response
By all means reach out to the person facing cancer. But if they don’t respond to your phone calls, emails or texts, don’t be put off.
“Sometimes the woman may not have the time or energy to respond,” Fleischmann said. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t continue reaching out. “She will appreciate knowing that you’re thinking of her.”
Polakoff found small gestures particularly meaningful.
“Little things meant a lot,” she said. “Like just a note that said, ‘I’m thinking of you. Have a good Shabbos.’”
4. Leave cancer out of it sometimes and just be with them
Kristen Harvey, who at 23 was faced with an ovarian cancer diagnosis for the second time, said it was important to have friends around her with whom she could talk about the future.
“Just being there was the best thing,” said Harvey, who recently graduated from college and lives in Michigan. “We didn’t need to do anything. I appreciated when people came over and we just hung out and watched a movie.”
Alexis Wilson, a teacher in Jupiter, Florida, said her friendships were essential during her breast cancer treatment. Before starting chemotherapy, her friends threw her a big party to which everyone showed up in different-colored wigs and decorated her yard with signs.
“My friends played a big role,” said Wilson, 39. “I felt like I wasn’t alone.”
5. Continue your support throughout someone’s cancer journey
For some women, “maintenance treatment” can last for many years beyond the active treatments of chemotherapy, radiation or surgery. Women living with metastatic breast cancer, for example, usually continue treatment throughout their lives.
Fleischmann recommends checking in with a woman along every step of her cancer journey: not just the period of active treatment, but also during maintenance treatment, survivorship, and if she is living with metastatic or advanced cancer.
“It’s nice to know my friends and family continued to reach out once I was done with treatment,” Harvey said. “Back to normal doesn’t mean life is ever normal.”
There are often heightened emotional needs around anniversaries of certain cancer diagnoses or treatment dates, Fleischmann said, so marking these dates could be important.
6. Make sure you have your own support system
If you’re particularly close to the person with cancer, you may experience feelings of being overwhelmed yourself. It’s important to take care of your own emotional well-being and not dismiss it in the face of someone else’s more pressing illness.
“As a caregiver, you can be very easily drained without your own coping mechanisms,” Fleischmann said.
Make sure to take care of yourself physically and emotionally so that you have the capacity to attend to your friend or loved one’s needs.
7. Talk to your healthcare provider and safeguard your own health
Even while supporting a loved one or friend with breast or ovarian cancer, it’s important to safeguard your own health.
The BRCA genetic mutation that causes breast cancer and ovarian cancer is much more common among Ashkenazi Jewish women than in the general U.S. population. About 1 in 40 Ashkenazi Jewish women and men carry the mutation, compared to 1 in 400 in the general population. Ashkenazi Jewish men are also at elevated risk for melanoma and prostate and pancreatic cancer.
“Talk to your healthcare provider,” Fleischmann said. “Those whose family members are facing hereditary breast and ovarian cancer should speak with their doctor or genetic counselor to see how this may affect them, too, and learn about appropriate testing and precautions.”
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The post 7 ways to offer support and Jewish strength to friends or loved ones facing cancer appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
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Cairo Begins Training Program for Future Gaza Police Force
Egypt’s Foreign Minister Badr Abdelatty attends a joint press conference with Palestinian Prime Minister Mohammad Mustafa in Cairo, Egypt March 1, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Mohamed Abd El Ghany
i24 News – Cairo has launched a major initiative to train Palestinian police officers who are expected to join a future security force in Gaza once the ongoing conflict concludes.
The program was first announced last summer by Egyptian Foreign Minister Badr Abdelatty during a meeting with Palestinian Prime Minister Mohammad Mustafa.
The training began with an initial cohort of more than 500 officers in March, and resumed in September with new groups. The program aims to prepare a total of 5,000 police officers, all from Gaza, with funding provided by the Palestinian Authority.
“We aspire to a definitive end to the fighting and hope to serve our homeland and fellow citizens,” said a 26-year-old trainee, expressing satisfaction with the program. He added that the goal is to establish a security force “autonomous, loyal only to Palestine, and free from external influence.”
An anonymous Palestinian lieutenant, who left Gaza with his family in 2024, described the program as offering “high-level operational training, with modern equipment for border control.” The curriculum also covers the aftermath of the October 7, 2023 Hamas offensive and its implications for the Palestinian cause.
The training emphasizes the Palestine Liberation Organization (PLO) as the sole legitimate representative of the Palestinian people and reinforces the aim of building an independent Palestinian state.
A senior Palestinian Authority official confirmed that President Mahmoud Abbas instructed Interior Minister Ziad Hab al-Reeh to coordinate with Egypt in establishing these security units for Gaza.
As part of broader reconciliation efforts, Palestinian factions—including Hamas and Fatah, agreed in late 2024 under Egyptian mediation to create a 10,000-strong police force. Half of the officers will be trained by Egypt, and the other half drawn from Gaza’s police ranks, which have been under Hamas control since 2007.
The force is planned to operate under a technocratic committee approved by all Palestinian movements, tasked with administering Gaza post-conflict. A Hamas official told AFP that the organization supports the security and governance arrangements agreed upon during the talks.
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Israel’s Netanyahu Seeks Pardon in Years-Long Corruption Trial
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu speaks at the plenum of the Knesset, Israel’s parliament, in Jerusalem, November 10, 2025. REUTERS/Ronen Zvulun
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu asked the country’s president on Sunday for a pardon in his long-running corruption trial, arguing that criminal proceedings were hindering his ability to govern and a pardon would be good for Israel.
Netanyahu, the country’s longest-serving prime minister, denies the bribery, fraud, and breach of trust charges. His lawyers said in a letter to the president’s office that the prime minister still believes the legal proceedings would result in a complete acquittal.
“My lawyers sent a request for pardon to the president of the country today. I expect that anyone who wishes for the good of the country support this step,” Netanyahu said in a brief video statement released by his political party, the Likud.
Neither the prime minister, who has been on trial for five years, nor his lawyers made any admission of guilt.
Opposition leader Yair Lapid said Netanyahu should not be pardoned without admitting guilt, expressing remorse, and immediately retiring from political life.
Pardons in Israel have typically been granted only after legal proceedings have concluded and the accused has been convicted. Netanyahu’s lawyers argued that the president can intervene when public interest is at stake, as in this case, with a view to healing divisions and strengthening national unity.
President Isaac Herzog’s office described the request as “extraordinary” with “significant implications.” The president “will responsibly and sincerely consider the request” after receiving relevant opinions, his office said.
US President Donald Trump wrote to Herzog this month, urging him to consider granting the prime minister a pardon, saying the case against him was “a political, unjustified prosecution.”
Herzog’s office said the request would be forwarded to the pardons department in the justice ministry, as is standard practice, to collect opinions, which would be submitted to the president’s legal adviser, who will formulate a recommendation for the president.
Israel’s Justice Minister, Yariv Levin, is a member of Netanyahu’s Likud party and a close ally of the prime minister.
In the letter, Netanyahu’s lawyers argued that criminal proceedings against him had deepened societal divisions and that ending the trial was necessary for national reconciliation. They also wrote that increasingly frequent court hearings were burdensome while the prime minister was attempting to govern.
“I am required to testify three times a week … That is an impossible demand that is not made of any other citizen,” Netanyahu said in the video statement, emphasizing that he had received the public’s trust by repeatedly winning elections.
Netanyahu was indicted in 2019 in three separate but related cases that center around accusations that he granted favors to prominent business figures in exchange for gifts and sympathetic media coverage.
The prime minister has repeatedly denied any wrongdoing.
Coalition allies issued statements supporting Netanyahu’s request for a pardon, including National Security Minister Itamar Ben-Gvir and Finance Minister Bezalel Smotrich.
Opposition politician Yair Golan, a former deputy chief of the military, called on the prime minister to resign, urging the president not to grant a pardon.
Netanyahu is one of the country’s most polarizing political figures, who was first elected prime minister in 1996. He has since served in government and opposition and returned to the prime minister’s office following the 2022 election.
The next election is due by October 2026, and many polls indicate that his coalition, the most right-wing in Israel’s history, would struggle to win enough seats to form a government.
Throughout his career, Netanyahu has cultivated a reputation for prioritizing security and economic issues, but he has also been dogged by the corruption charges. He was prime minister on October 7, 2023, when Hamas launched its attack on Israel, widely regarded as the most traumatic event in the country’s history and the deadliest assault on Jews since the Holocaust.
Since then, he has overseen the devastating war in Gaza, which has killed tens of thousands of Palestinians and leveled much of the territory, drawing broad international criticism and condemnation. Israel has severely weakened Hamas and also Lebanese terrorist group Hezbollah and this year launched a war against Iran that destroyed critical military infrastructure.
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After drawing BDS backlash, progressive Jewish writer Peter Beinart apologizes for speaking at Tel Aviv U
(JTA) — Peter Beinart began his first social media post after his latest speaking engagement with an apology.
“By speaking earlier this week at Tel Aviv University, I made a serious mistake,” the progressive Jewish writer posted on X, a day after a scheduled appearance at the Israeli school.
The morning before, he had defended his plans, saying he saw “value in speaking to Israelis about Israel’s crimes.” Now, he said, “I let my desire for that conversation override my solidarity with Palestinians, who in the face of ethnic cleansing, apartheid and genocide have asked the world boycott Israeli institutions that are complicit in their oppression.”
Beinart’s apology came in the face of steep criticism from some on the anti-Israel left, where Beinart has long been one of the most prominent Jewish voices. The Palestinian Campaign for the Academic and Cultural Boycott of Israel, a founding member of the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions movement, publicly and privately called on Beinart to cancel his talk, and he endured a bruising volley of castigation online.
Emphasizing that he had not been paid for his speech, Beinart said he had been motivated by wanting to influence Israeli Jews as he said he had with American Jews “with whom I strongly disagree, both to listen and in hopes of changing their minds.” But he said he had come to understand that he could have done that without speaking at an Israeli university, and that he had erred by not consulting Palestinians when making his plans.
“It’s embarrassing to admit such a serious mistake,” Beinart wrote. “I dearly wish I had not made this one, which has caused particular harm because international pressure is crucial to ensuring Palestinian freedom. This was a failure of judgment. I am sorry.”
PACBI did not publicly respond to Beinart’s apology. But the mea culpa ignited a wave of criticism of its own from Jewish and pro-Israel voices who said it typified an absolutist ethos in the progressive pro-Palestinian movement that they have long denounced.
“The dynamics of the radical left, especially the American one (which draws on puritanical patterns) demonstrated here include social pressure, incessant border-drawing, threats of boycotts, repeated demands to confess sins, and the perception of confession as a submission that redeems the guilty from the fate of traitors to the revolution,” tweeted the Israeli scholar Tomer Persico, who is currently on the faculty of the University of California, Berkeley. “This is a political-social space that is purist to the point of self-destruction.”
An Israeli trauma psychologist said Beinart’s apology reflected a stance she had seen before from abused women or people trapped in cults. “They start treating ordinary acts of agency — talking to someone outside the circle or forming a judgment on their own — as betrayals that must be confessed,” wrote Orli Peter in a widely viewed post. “This isn’t moral clarity; it’s fear wearing the mask of conscience.”
Some said Beinart’s apology landed in a historical pattern in which Jews who have sought to ally themselves with antisemitic movements are cast out themselves, sometimes with mortal consequences.
“No Jew is ever good enough for the Jew-hater,” tweeted the Scottish Jewish pundit Ben Freeman. “The goal posts are always moved. The Jew is always left begging for acceptance. They are the ultimate parvenu. Always seeking approval, never gaining it. A Jewish tragedy if ever there was one.”
Some moderate pro-Palestinian voices also weighed in critically. “This is truly embarrassing and deeply self-deprecatory behavior,” tweeted Ahmed Fouad Alkhatib, a Gazan emigre who is critical of much of contemporary pro-Palestinian activism and who himself spoke to an Israeli news organization this week.
“Asking for forgiveness because you spoke to Israeli students who belong to your tribe, are your people, and part of your community is not going to make you more liked, accepted, or embraced by the rabid elements of the ‘pro-Palestine’ movement and the BDS cultists who have long stopped viewing their efforts as a tactic and devolved into demonizing Jews, Israelis, and Zionists as the actual end goal,” Alkhatib added.
Before his apology, Beinart had spoken to a number of Tel Aviv students, including some who attended because they disagree with his views on Israel. Gabi Schiller, a social media activist who has worked at the pro-Israel advocacy group StandWithUs, wrote that some of her Tel Aviv University classmates had spoken with Beinart after his talk to challenge him on his ideas, including his promotion of a one-state solution.
“Putting aside the content of what they discussed, what took place in that moment was inherently valuable, despite how much I oppose Beinart’s stances: the exchange of opinion and ideas in an academic space in a respectful way,” Schiller wrote on Instagram, where she posts under the account name Yehudim Omrim. The experience, she said, was “increasingly impossible on North American campuses around domestic politics and certainly around the Israeli-Palestinian conflict where anti-normalization has become the new litmus test to be permitted into social spaces.”
The post After drawing BDS backlash, progressive Jewish writer Peter Beinart apologizes for speaking at Tel Aviv U appeared first on The Forward.
