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7 ways to offer support and Jewish strength to friends or loved ones facing cancer

When Shoshana Polakoff, 40, received an unexpected breast cancer diagnosis three years ago, the mother of three young children needed extra support. Her friends, family and Jewish community in the Washington Heights neighborhood of Manhattan immediately stepped up.

They organized help with after-school childcare, packed school lunches for her kids and sent her little notes of encouragement while Polakoff endured trying cancer treatments.

“I felt pounds lighter and overwhelmed by the chesed that mobilized so quickly,” said Polakoff, using the Hebrew term for kindness. “And the practical help was such an incredible gift.”

Too often, however, friends and loved ones of cancer patients are at a loss for how to respond when someone close to them is diagnosed with cancer.

“Often they feel just as thrown into this new reality as the woman herself and are not sure what to do next,” said Adina Fleischmann, chief services officer for Sharsheret, the national Jewish breast cancer and ovarian cancer organization.

This is especially the case for young people who might never have had a family member or friend diagnosed with cancer before.

Fleischmann — whose organization offers extensive resources for cancer patients, ranging from emotional support, mental health counseling and education to financial subsidies for women and their families facing breast and ovarian cancer — has some guidance for what to say, how to reach out and what kind of help might be appropriate to provide in the face of a friend or family member’s cancer diagnosis.

It’s all about providing chizuk – Hebrew for strength – to the person facing cancer.

1. Establish the “Kvetching Order”

The “Kvetching Order,” based on a concept called the Ring Theory developed by clinical psychologist Susan Silk, dictates that those close to someone struggling with a cancer diagnosis offer only support to the cancer patient, and any kvetching about their own stress outward.

Thus, the person with cancer is at the center of a circle surrounded by a ring of her or his most intimate friends and loved ones. More distant concentric rings include other friends, acquaintances, more distant family and community members.

Colloquially known as “comfort in, dump out,” the Kvetching Order establishes a flow of support directed toward the person facing cancer.

2. Be clear and specific with offers of help

Support can look and feel different to different people facing cancer; each person’s needs and life circumstances are unique. When younger women are diagnosed with cancer — as often is the case with ovarian or breast cancers, where 50% of new diagnoses are in women under age 63 — patients often need extra help managing their responsibilities as parents and/or career professionals.

“Let the woman guide the journey,” Fleischmann says of the cancer patient. “Follow her lead.”

Sharsheret suggests offering concrete, practical assistance, such as offering to take the patient’s child to after-school activities or helping with homework. Maybe offer to come over to help clean the house, do laundry, or pick up groceries and make dinner for the family.

“But give the woman the feeling of control,” Fleischmann said. “Let her be in control of your support.”

Thus, a concrete suggestion like, “Can I bring you pizza for dinner on Wednesday?” is better than a vague offer of “What can I do to help?”

3. Check in often but don’t expect a response

By all means reach out to the person facing cancer. But if they don’t respond to your phone calls, emails or texts, don’t be put off.

“Sometimes the woman may not have the time or energy to respond,” Fleischmann said. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t continue reaching out. “She will appreciate knowing that you’re thinking of her.”

Polakoff found small gestures particularly meaningful.

“Little things meant a lot,” she said. “Like just a note that said, ‘I’m thinking of you. Have a good Shabbos.’”

4. Leave cancer out of it sometimes and just be with them

Kristen Harvey, who at 23 was faced with an ovarian cancer diagnosis for the second time, said it was important to have friends around her with whom she could talk about the future.

“Just being there was the best thing,” said Harvey, who recently graduated from college and lives in Michigan. “We didn’t need to do anything. I appreciated when people came over and we just hung out and watched a movie.”

Alexis Wilson, a teacher in Jupiter, Florida, said her friendships were essential during her breast cancer treatment. Before starting chemotherapy, her friends threw her a big party to which everyone showed up in different-colored wigs and decorated her yard with signs.

“My friends played a big role,” said Wilson, 39. “I felt like I wasn’t alone.”

5. Continue your support throughout someone’s cancer journey

For some women, “maintenance treatment” can last for many years beyond the active treatments of chemotherapy, radiation or surgery. Women living with metastatic breast cancer, for example, usually continue treatment throughout their lives.

Fleischmann recommends checking in with a woman along every step of her cancer journey: not just the period of active treatment, but also during maintenance treatment, survivorship, and if she is living with metastatic or advanced cancer.

“It’s nice to know my friends and family continued to reach out once I was done with treatment,” Harvey said. “Back to normal doesn’t mean life is ever normal.”

There are often heightened emotional needs around anniversaries of certain cancer diagnoses or treatment dates, Fleischmann said, so marking these dates could be important.

6. Make sure you have your own support system

If you’re particularly close to the person with cancer, you may experience feelings of being overwhelmed yourself. It’s important to take care of your own emotional well-being and not dismiss it in the face of someone else’s more pressing illness.

“As a caregiver, you can be very easily drained without your own coping mechanisms,” Fleischmann said.

Make sure to take care of yourself physically and emotionally so that you have the capacity to attend to your friend or loved one’s needs.

7. Talk to your healthcare provider and safeguard your own health

Even while supporting a loved one or friend with breast or ovarian cancer, it’s important to safeguard your own health.

The BRCA genetic mutation that causes breast cancer and ovarian cancer is much more common among Ashkenazi Jewish women than in the general U.S. population. About 1 in 40 Ashkenazi Jewish women and men carry the mutation, compared to 1 in 400 in the general population. Ashkenazi Jewish men are also at elevated risk for melanoma and prostate and pancreatic cancer.

“Talk to your healthcare provider,” Fleischmann said. “Those whose family members are facing hereditary breast and ovarian cancer should speak with their doctor or genetic counselor to see how this may affect them, too, and learn about appropriate testing and precautions.”


The post 7 ways to offer support and Jewish strength to friends or loved ones facing cancer appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.

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France 24, Mother Jones Receive UN Award for Work Built on Word of Discredited Ex-Contractor Who Lied About Israel

Anthony Aguilar, a former contractor for the Gaza Humanitarian Foundation (GHF) who previously served as a US Army Green Beret. Photo: Screenshot

The UN press corps on Friday gave an award to news outlets France 24 and Mother Jones for their reporting based on the testimony of Anthony Aguilar, a US Army veteran and former contractor for the Gaza Humanitarian Foundation (GHF) who has made discredited claims against Israel.

France 24 and Mother Jones were awarded the Bronze medal in the Ricardo Ortega Memorial Prize category at the UN Correspondents Gala Awards, an event hosted by the UN Correspondents Association at the global body’s headquarters in New York City. The award is for broadcast coverage of the UN, its agencies, and field operations.

According to France 24, its journalists were the first to interview Aguilar on camera on the morning of July 23, 2025. Aguilar claimed he witnessed human rights abuses perpetrated by the Israeli military and others at sites run by the GHF, which until the Gaza ceasefire went into place was an Israel- and US-backed program that delivered aid directly to Palestinians, with the goal of blocking Hamas from diverting supplies for terrorist activities and selling the remainder at inflated prices.

France 24 and Mother Jones both published a story based on Aguilar’s testimony.

However, it was revealed last year that Aguilar’s most explosive claim, about the death of a Gazan boy, was false and that he was fired by the GHF for his conduct and pushing misinformation.

Aguilar claimed he witnessed the Israel Defense Forces (IDF) shoot a child — Abdul Rahim Muhammad Hamdene, known as Abboud — as the GHF was distributing humanitarian aid on May 28.

After Aguilar made his claim, he rapidly rose to prominence, presenting himself as a whistleblower exposing supposed Israeli war crimes. His story gained traction internationally, going viral on social media. He subsequently embarked on an extensive media tour, in which he accused Israel of indiscriminately killing Palestinian civilians as part of an attempt to “annihilate” and “disappear” the civilian population in Gaza.

However, Aguilar, who erroneously labeled the boy in question as “Amir,” gave inconsistent accounts of the alleged incident in separate interviews to different media outlets, calling into question the veracity of his narrative.

The GHF launched its own investigation at the end of July, ultimately locating Abboud alive with his mother at an aid distribution site on Aug. 23. The organization confirmed his identity using facial recognition software and biometric testing.

Abboud was escorted in disguise to an undisclosed safe location by the GHF team for his safety, according to The Daily Wire, which noted that the spreading of Aguilar’s false tale put the boy’s life in danger, as his alleged death was a powerful piece of propaganda for Hamas.

Fox News Digital reported that Abboud and his mother were safely extracted from the Gaza Strip in September.

In footage obtained by both news outlets, the boy can be seen playfully interacting with a GHF representative and appearing excited ahead of their planned extraction.

During the summer, as Aguilar’s claims were receiving widespread media attention, the GHF released a chain of text messages showing that Aguilar was terminated for his conduct. It also held a press conference to present evidence showing that Aguilar “falsified documents” and “presented misleading videos to push his false narrative.”

There was no apparent mention of the revelations about Aguilar’s narrative when the award was given out on Friday.

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University of Sydney Fires Staff Member Over Antisemitic Abuse of Students

Illustrative: An anti-Israel protest at the University of Sydney in Australia, April 26, 2024. Photo: Dean Lewins via Reuters Connect

The University of Sydney in Australia has dismissed an employee who was filmed shrieking at Jewish students over their support for Israel, a tirade in which she described them as “depraved” and inhuman.

“They’re shredding children!” staff member Rose Nakad screamed at the students in October, repeating pro-Hamas propaganda Hamas falsely accusing Israel of targeting Palestinian children in Gaza. “You are a f—king filthy Zionist. Nothing to do with being a Jew, you disgusting, depraved person.”

On Monday — just one day removed from the Bondi Beach massacre in which gunmen opened fire on Jews celebrating the start of Hanukkah in Sydney, hospitalizing dozens of people in addition to the 15 individuals who were murdered — the university denounced Nakad’s conduct as “distressing and utterly unacceptable.” It had previously suspended Nakad, signaling its appreciation of the gravity of her misconduct amid a global surge in antisemitism.

“The behavior that took place on our campus in October this year was deeply distressing and utterly unacceptable. We immediately suspended the staff member pending a formal process and have now terminated their employment on the grounds of serious misconduct,” the university said in a statement.

“This decision followed careful consideration in line with our clear expectations of behavior and our obligation to make sure our campuses are safe and welcoming for all,” the university continued. “Hate speech, antisemitism, and harassment have no place at our university and when our codes of conduct are breached, we do not hesitate to take disciplinary action.”

It added, “We continue to work on making our campus safe for all and if our codes are breached, we do not hesitate to take disciplinary action.”

In footage obtained by Sky News, Nakad approached several students celebrating the Jewish holiday of Sukkot. She asked if they were “Zionists” and continued to harass them as they asked her to leave.

“A Zionist is the lowest form of rubbish,” Nakad said to the students, according to the video. “Zionists are the most disgusting thing that has ever walked this earth.” The staff member described herself as an “indigenous Palestinian,”

Australia had seen its share of antisemitic outrages before the Bondi Beach shooting, as previously reported by The Algemeiner.

In December 2024, for example, the home of Lesli Berger, former president of the New South Wales Jewish Board of Deputies, was vandalized, having been graffitied with a swastika. Next to the infamous Nazi symbol the vandal spray-painted the words “Jordan Gayter,” believed to be a misspelling of the German phrase for “Juden Gatter,” or “Jewish Gate.”

In November 2023, mere weeks after Hamas’s Oct. 7, 2023, massacre across southern Israel, a Jewish man was assaulted by an anti-Israel mob because he took down an advertisement of a pro-Palestinian rally. Someone then thumped him on the back of his head, knocking him to the ground. Then three men joined in and proceeded to punch and kick him while calling him a “pro-Jew dog” among other names.

The onslaught concussed the man and, causing other injuries, fractured his spine. He reportedly spent four days in the hospital and later told a local media outlet that he is “very lucky” to be alive.

In one notorious episode in the immediate aftermath of the Oct. 7 attack, hundreds of pro-Hamas protesters gathered outside the Sydney Opera House chanting “gas the Jews,” “f—k the Jews,” and other epithets.

The explosion of post-Oct. 7 hate also included vandalism and threats of gun violence. For example, a male assailant repeatedly punched a Jewish man while screaming “dirty rotten Jew c—t”; a group of young men jumped a Jewish boy, whom they called a “dirty Jew”; and pro-Hamas protesters “spat on, threatened, and kicked” an elderly Jewish woman during a demonstration held to raise awareness of antisemitism.

Anti-Israel sentiment has also led to vandalism. In June 2024, the US consulate in Sydney was vandalized and defaced by a man carrying a sledgehammer who smashed the windows and graffitied inverted red triangles on the building. The inverted red triangle has become a common symbol at pro-Hamas rallies. The Palestinian terrorist group, which has ruled Gaza for nearly two decades, has used inverted red triangles in its propaganda videos to indicate Israeli targets about to be attacked. According to the Anti-Defamation League (ADL), “the red triangle is now used to represent Hamas itself and glorify its use of violence.”

Now, in the closing weeks of 2025, antisemitism in Australia has led to the deadliest terrorist attack in the country’s history.

Australian officials said they identified the mass shooters at Bondi Beach as Sajid Akram, 50, who was killed at the scene, and his son Naveed Akram, 24, who was in critical condition in a hospital. The younger suspect reportedly came to the attention of Australia’s domestic intelligence agency in 2019 for his ties to a Sydney-based cell of the Islamic State (ISIS) terrorist group.

Follow Dion J. Pierre @DionJPierre.

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Tributes Pour in for Jewish Director Rob Reiner, Wife After Couple Found Dead, Son Arrested on Murder Charges

(From left) Rob Reiner, Michele Singer, Romy Reiner, Nick Reiner, Maria Gilfillan and Jake Reiner attend the Los Angeles Premiere of ”Spinal Tap II: The End Continues” at The Egyptian Theatre in Los Angeles, California, US, Sept. 9, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Aude Guerrucci

Dozens of people in Hollywood have expressed profound sadness following the news that visionary Jewish filmmaker Rob Reiner and his wife, Michele Singer Reiner, were found dead in their Los Angeles home on Sunday night and that their middle son is being charged with murder.

Reiner, 78, was born in the Bronx, New York, in 1947. In the 1970s he co-starred in the sitcom “All in the Family” before becoming the famous director behind movies such as “This Is Spinal Tap,” “Stand by Me,” “The Princess Bride,” “When Harry Met Sally…” and “A Few Good Men.” Earlier this year, Reiner released the sequel, “Spinal Tap: The End Continues.” He also directed the 2015 film called “Being Charlie,” inspired by his son Nick’s longtime battle with heroin addiction and the impact that his substance abuse had on the family.

On Sunday, Reiner and his wife, 68, were found dead by what police described as an apparent homicide at their home in Brentwood, California. Their middle son, Nick, is being held at Los Angeles’ Twin Towers Jail, having been arrested on murder charges in connection with their deaths. The 32-year-old reportedly has his bail set at $4 million. “As a result of the initial investigation, it was determined that the Reiners were the victims of homicide. The investigation further revealed that Nick Reiner, the 32-year-old son of Robert and Michele Reiner, was responsible for their deaths,” the Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) said in a statement on Monday.

“I saw them night before last looking healthy and happy,” Jane Fonda wrote in an Instagram post. “I am reeling with grief. Stunned.” She shared a photo of the late couple on Instagram and wrote that they were “wonderful, caring, smart, funny, generous people, always coming up with ideas for how to make the world better, kinder.”

Fonda also said the couple had recently been helping her to relaunch the Committee for the First Amendment, a group that champions freedom of expression from government censorship.

“My heart is broken,” Zooey Deschanel said in a tribute to Reiner, who played her father on the show “New Girl.” She called Reiner “the absolute warmest, funniest, most generous of spirits. A truly good human being. An incredible artist and such a playful and fun collaborator.”

“I cherish the time we spent working together and the many films he made that have shaped who I am,” she added. “Rob and his lovely wife Michele were always so kind and it brought me so much joy any time I was lucky enough to see them. I’m absolutely devastated. Sending so much love to their family and friends.”

The estate of Norman Lear, the legendary producer who created “All in the Family,” released a statement remembering the close relationship between the two men. “Norman often referred to Rob as a son,” the statement said. “The world is unmistakably darker tonight.”

Jerry Seinfeld said Reiner had one of the biggest influences on his career aside from Larry David, who co-created “Seinfeld,” and the late George Shapiro, who was Seinfeld’s manager and a producer on the renowned sitcom. Reiner also helped save “Seinfeld” from almost being canceled, Seinfeld said. He shared a photo of himself alongside Reiner and his father, the late actor Carl Reiner.

“Our show would have never happened without him. He saw something no one else could,” Seinfeld explained in an Instagram post. “When nobody at the network liked the early episodes, he saved us from cancellation. That I was working with Carl Reiner’s son, who happened to be one of the kindest people in show business, seemed unreal.”

“I was naive at the time to how much his passion for us meant,” Seinfeld added. “Rob and Michele married right as our show was starting and they became an imprint for me of how it’s supposed to work, each one broadening the other. Their death, together, is impossibly sad.”

Kathy Bates, who won an Oscar for her leading role in Reiner’s 1990 horror “Misery,” said in a statement to Entertainment Weekly that Reiner was a “brilliant and kind, a man who made films of every genre to challenge himself as an artist.”

“I’m horrified hearing this terrible news. Absolutely devastated. I loved Rob,” she added. “He changed the course of my life … My heart breaks for them both. My thoughts are with their family.” She also said the late director was someone who “fought courageously for his political beliefs” and praised his wife as a “gifted photographer.”

Novelist Stephen King, who wrote the books that inspired Reiner’s films “Stand by Me” and “Misery,” praised the late director in a post on X as a “wonderful friend, political ally, and brilliant filmmaker.”

“You always stood by me,” King added.

Paul Feig, the director of “Bridesmaids,” posted a photo of himself and Reiner at Comic-Con and wrote that the latter “was my true hero.”

“One never knows if it’s proper to post during something as tragic as this,” Feig said. “But I just want the world to know what so many of us know in the industry. Robert was the best.”

Reiner and his wife are survived by two sons Jake and Nick, and their youngest daughter Romy, who reportedly called 911 on Sunday after discovering the bodies of her parents.

Rob and Nick allegedly got into a “very loud argument” on Saturday night while attending a Christmas party hosted by former talk show host Conan O’Brien, People magazine reported, citing multiple sources. Rob and his wife were found dead at their home the next day.

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