Uncategorized
7 ways to offer support and Jewish strength to friends or loved ones facing cancer
When Shoshana Polakoff, 40, received an unexpected breast cancer diagnosis three years ago, the mother of three young children needed extra support. Her friends, family and Jewish community in the Washington Heights neighborhood of Manhattan immediately stepped up.
They organized help with after-school childcare, packed school lunches for her kids and sent her little notes of encouragement while Polakoff endured trying cancer treatments.
“I felt pounds lighter and overwhelmed by the chesed that mobilized so quickly,” said Polakoff, using the Hebrew term for kindness. “And the practical help was such an incredible gift.”
Too often, however, friends and loved ones of cancer patients are at a loss for how to respond when someone close to them is diagnosed with cancer.
“Often they feel just as thrown into this new reality as the woman herself and are not sure what to do next,” said Adina Fleischmann, chief services officer for Sharsheret, the national Jewish breast cancer and ovarian cancer organization.
This is especially the case for young people who might never have had a family member or friend diagnosed with cancer before.
Fleischmann — whose organization offers extensive resources for cancer patients, ranging from emotional support, mental health counseling and education to financial subsidies for women and their families facing breast and ovarian cancer — has some guidance for what to say, how to reach out and what kind of help might be appropriate to provide in the face of a friend or family member’s cancer diagnosis.
It’s all about providing chizuk – Hebrew for strength – to the person facing cancer.
1. Establish the “Kvetching Order”
The “Kvetching Order,” based on a concept called the Ring Theory developed by clinical psychologist Susan Silk, dictates that those close to someone struggling with a cancer diagnosis offer only support to the cancer patient, and any kvetching about their own stress outward.
Thus, the person with cancer is at the center of a circle surrounded by a ring of her or his most intimate friends and loved ones. More distant concentric rings include other friends, acquaintances, more distant family and community members.
Colloquially known as “comfort in, dump out,” the Kvetching Order establishes a flow of support directed toward the person facing cancer.
2. Be clear and specific with offers of help
Support can look and feel different to different people facing cancer; each person’s needs and life circumstances are unique. When younger women are diagnosed with cancer — as often is the case with ovarian or breast cancers, where 50% of new diagnoses are in women under age 63 — patients often need extra help managing their responsibilities as parents and/or career professionals.
“Let the woman guide the journey,” Fleischmann says of the cancer patient. “Follow her lead.”
Sharsheret suggests offering concrete, practical assistance, such as offering to take the patient’s child to after-school activities or helping with homework. Maybe offer to come over to help clean the house, do laundry, or pick up groceries and make dinner for the family.
“But give the woman the feeling of control,” Fleischmann said. “Let her be in control of your support.”
Thus, a concrete suggestion like, “Can I bring you pizza for dinner on Wednesday?” is better than a vague offer of “What can I do to help?”
3. Check in often but don’t expect a response
By all means reach out to the person facing cancer. But if they don’t respond to your phone calls, emails or texts, don’t be put off.
“Sometimes the woman may not have the time or energy to respond,” Fleischmann said. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t continue reaching out. “She will appreciate knowing that you’re thinking of her.”
Polakoff found small gestures particularly meaningful.
“Little things meant a lot,” she said. “Like just a note that said, ‘I’m thinking of you. Have a good Shabbos.’”
4. Leave cancer out of it sometimes and just be with them
Kristen Harvey, who at 23 was faced with an ovarian cancer diagnosis for the second time, said it was important to have friends around her with whom she could talk about the future.
“Just being there was the best thing,” said Harvey, who recently graduated from college and lives in Michigan. “We didn’t need to do anything. I appreciated when people came over and we just hung out and watched a movie.”
Alexis Wilson, a teacher in Jupiter, Florida, said her friendships were essential during her breast cancer treatment. Before starting chemotherapy, her friends threw her a big party to which everyone showed up in different-colored wigs and decorated her yard with signs.
“My friends played a big role,” said Wilson, 39. “I felt like I wasn’t alone.”
5. Continue your support throughout someone’s cancer journey
For some women, “maintenance treatment” can last for many years beyond the active treatments of chemotherapy, radiation or surgery. Women living with metastatic breast cancer, for example, usually continue treatment throughout their lives.
Fleischmann recommends checking in with a woman along every step of her cancer journey: not just the period of active treatment, but also during maintenance treatment, survivorship, and if she is living with metastatic or advanced cancer.
“It’s nice to know my friends and family continued to reach out once I was done with treatment,” Harvey said. “Back to normal doesn’t mean life is ever normal.”
There are often heightened emotional needs around anniversaries of certain cancer diagnoses or treatment dates, Fleischmann said, so marking these dates could be important.
6. Make sure you have your own support system
If you’re particularly close to the person with cancer, you may experience feelings of being overwhelmed yourself. It’s important to take care of your own emotional well-being and not dismiss it in the face of someone else’s more pressing illness.
“As a caregiver, you can be very easily drained without your own coping mechanisms,” Fleischmann said.
Make sure to take care of yourself physically and emotionally so that you have the capacity to attend to your friend or loved one’s needs.
7. Talk to your healthcare provider and safeguard your own health
Even while supporting a loved one or friend with breast or ovarian cancer, it’s important to safeguard your own health.
The BRCA genetic mutation that causes breast cancer and ovarian cancer is much more common among Ashkenazi Jewish women than in the general U.S. population. About 1 in 40 Ashkenazi Jewish women and men carry the mutation, compared to 1 in 400 in the general population. Ashkenazi Jewish men are also at elevated risk for melanoma and prostate and pancreatic cancer.
“Talk to your healthcare provider,” Fleischmann said. “Those whose family members are facing hereditary breast and ovarian cancer should speak with their doctor or genetic counselor to see how this may affect them, too, and learn about appropriate testing and precautions.”
—
The post 7 ways to offer support and Jewish strength to friends or loved ones facing cancer appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
Uncategorized
Amsterdam Police Probe New Blast Claimed by Same Group That Claimed Jewish School Explosion
Police officers stand outside a Jewish school following an explosion that caused minor damages, in Amsterdam, Netherlands, March 14, 2026. Photo: REUTERS/Piroschka van de Wouw
Dutch police are investigating an explosion that damaged an office building in Amsterdam and was claimed by the same extremist organization which also claimed it was behind a recent blast at a Jewish school in the area, a police spokesperson said on Monday.
It was not immediately clear if the building has a link to Amsterdam‘s Jewish community.
Officers were investigating the explosion, which led to a small fire that was quickly extinguished by security guards and caused minor damage, the spokesperson said, adding that police were examining whether the two incidents were indeed linked.
Sienna Investment Managers, which manages the building, did not immediately reply to an emailed request for comment.
Saturday’s explosion, for which the same group claimed responsibility, caused minor damage to a Jewish school. Amsterdam Mayor Femke Halsema and Dutch Prime Minister Rob Jetten condemned the attack.
The group has also claimed earlier attacks on synagogues in Rotterdam and in neighboring Belgium’s Liege. The attacks had already triggered heightened security at Jewish sites in Amsterdam.
Justice Minister David van Weel said on Saturday that a link between the explosions in Amsterdam and Rotterdam could not be excluded, but did not confirm any claims made on social media by the group.
Concerns about possible attacks against Jewish communities around the world have risen following the US and Israeli attacks on Iran and the subsequent response from Tehran.
Uncategorized
Israel Says Lebanese Displaced Won’t Return Until Its Own Citizens Are Safe
Israeli soldiers walk next to military vehicles on the Israeli side of the Israel-Lebanon border, amid escalation between Hezbollah and Israel, and amid the US-Israeli conflict with Iran, in northern Israel, March 16, 2026. Photo: REUTERS/Avi Ohayon
Israel on Monday warned that displaced Lebanese driven from their homes by its military campaign against the terrorist group Hezbollah would not be able to return until the safety of Israelis living near the border was ensured, as Israeli troops pushed into new parts of southern Lebanon.
In a briefing, Israeli military spokesperson Lieutenant Colonel Nadav Shoshani told reporters that soldiers were now conducting ground operations in “new locations,” describing the latest offensive as “limited and targeted.”
The extended operation began days after Defense Minister Israel Katz said the military had been ordered to expand its campaign. He later warned that the country could face territorial losses and damage to its infrastructure unless Hezbollah was disarmed.
Israel‘s military, which has occupied five positions in southern Lebanon since a November 2024 ceasefire with Hezbollah, sent additional forces into the country after Hezbollah fired a salvo of rockets on March 2, dragging Lebanon into an expanding regional war.
Hezbollah, a Shi’ite Muslim terrorist group backed by Iran, said its attack was in retaliation for the killing of Iran’s supreme leader on Feb. 28, the first day of the US-Israeli war with Iran. Israel has responded with an intensive bombing campaign on Lebanon.
COMPARISON WITH GAZA
The military has framed the ground offensive, launched after March 2, as a defensive effort to protect northern Israel from Hezbollah attacks, which it says have averaged at least 100 rockets and drones a day and have reached as far as central Israel.
More than 880 people in Lebanon have been killed, according to Lebanon’s health ministry, and more than 800,000 have been driven from their homes, many from the south as well as from areas near the capital, Beirut.
On Monday, Katz linked the return of displaced Lebanese residents to the safety of Israelis living near the border.
“Hundreds of thousands of Shi’ite residents of southern Lebanon who have evacuated or are evacuating their homes in southern Lebanon and Beirut will not return to areas south of the Litani line until the safety of northern residents is ensured,” he said in a statement.
He said the military had been instructed to destroy “terrorist infrastructure” in villages in southern Lebanon near the border with Israel, drawing a comparison to operations in cities in the Gaza Strip that were largely destroyed by Israeli forces.
Katz also suggested that Hezbollah’s leader, Naim Qassem, could face a fate similar to that of his predecessor, and to Iran’s supreme leader, both of whom were killed in Israeli strikes. Qassem said last week threats against his life were “worthless.”
ISRAELI TROOPS ADVANCE WEST
Over the weekend, Israeli troops encircled the key southern Lebanese town of Khiyam and were advancing west toward the Litani River, a move that could leave large swathes of southern Lebanon under Israeli control, Lebanese security sources told Reuters.
Israeli troops battled Hezbollah fighters in southern Lebanon throughout the day on Monday, and advanced towards Bint Jbeil, a Lebanese village and Hezbollah stronghold located about 4 km from the border with Israel, the sources said.
Two Israeli officials said on Sunday that Israel and Lebanon were expected to hold talks in the coming days aimed at securing a durable ceasefire which would see Hezbollah disarmed.
A Lebanese source familiar with the matter said it didn’t seem talks with Israel would be taking place soon, though they would happen eventually.
Israel‘s Ambassador to the United Nations Danny Danon told reporters that a “few players were trying to mediate and host talks,” adding: “I believe the next step will be talks but first we have to degrade the capability of Hezbollah.”
Under the November 2024 ceasefire, Hezbollah was to pull back from southern Lebanon as the Lebanese military took over.
Israel said Lebanon never upheld its part of the deal, continuing near-daily air strikes against what it said were Hezbollah positions and weapons.
Uncategorized
Still Too Early To Silence the Lions Roaring Above Iran
The sky is illuminated as an Iranian missile lands in Israel, amid the US-Israeli conflict with Iran, as seen from Tel Aviv, Israel, March 12, 2026. Photo: REUTERS/Dylan Martinez
The Iran war is full of surprises. The United Nations Security Council, often a hostile arena for Israel, condemned Tehran — not Washington and Jerusalem — on March 11 for Iran’s war conduct, particularly its strikes on Gulf Arab countries uninvolved in the conflict.
The Gulf strikes are part of the Islamic Republic’s strategy to increase international pressure to force the war’s premature end. This is intended to prevent the United States and Israel from achieving their ideal scenario — the fall of the ayatollahs’ regime — or an acceptable outcome — stopping Iran’s offensive military capabilities.
Terrible as war is, this one should continue until more of its initial goals are achieved.
That’s not to say there haven’t been successes. Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei, the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC) commander in chief, the minister of defense, the head of the military council, the deputy intelligence minister, the commander of the IRGC Aerospace Force, and other Iranian leaders met at Khamenei’s compound in Tehran on February 28. All of them died there.
In the devastating opening salvo, the Iranian leaders who had long called for Israel’s destruction and chanted “death to America” were instead killed by the countries they wished to harm.
Battle damage assessments can be difficult amid the fog of war, but some things are clear. The United States has struck approximately 6,000 targets, including more than 90 naval ships, and enjoys air superiority over large swaths of Iran. Iran’s drone and missile launches have declined by around 90 percent compared to the first day of the war. Israel assesses that 75 percent of Iran’s missile launchers have been destroyed, and the United States and its partners have intercepted thousands of Iranian drones.
US and Israeli forces are fighting wingtip-to-wingtip in the skies over Iran, and the Gulf Arab states’ fury at Iran for attacking them may portend favorable developments in the regional defense architecture envisioned in the Abraham Accords.
But there’s more work to be done. The Islamic Republic has struck at least 12 countries in an attempt to create economic pressure for the war to end.
A de facto blockade of the Strait of Hormuz is reducing global shipping and driving up commodity prices, especially oil and gas. And though he hasn’t been seen since being injured early on in the conflict, Iran’s new supreme leader, Mojtaba Khamenei, has pledged to leverage the Strait’s closure to squeeze the global economy even further to try to get Gulf countries to pressure the United States to halt the operation.
With further damage to the world’s economy looming, the United States and its partners may eventually have to try reopening the Strait. But even without doing so, options exist to reduce the blockade’s impact. The International Energy Agency already released 400 million barrels of oil from reserves, and plans are reportedly being considered for US naval and other escorts through the narrow waterway.
There’s also the regime’s nuclear program to consider. While the damage done to nuclear facilities at Isfahan and Natanz remains largely unclear, satellite imagery indicates that they have been struck during the campaign. Israel did confirm on March 12 that it struck Taleghan 2, a site utilized by the Islamic Republic for explosives testing related to its nuclear program.
But with the regime’s highly enriched uranium supply reportedly buried deep under mountains in fortified Iranian facilities, air power can only do so much damage. It’s unclear if the US or Israel are considering special operations missions to try and make sure that uranium can’t be used in a future nuclear weapon.
Meanwhile, Israel has used its air power to weaken Iran’s tools of repression.
Since the beginning of the war, Iranians have reported that checkpoints run by the regime’s Basij forces have increased in cities around the country. The “religious” militia has also been running more patrols. The Basij seek to prevent a repeat of the massive anti-regime protests in January, in which more than 30,000 innocent Iranians were reportedly slaughtered.
Earlier this month, Iranian state media reported that at least 10 members of the Basij were killed in drone attacks at several checkpoints around the Iranian capital. Later, the Israel Defense Forces confirmed carrying out the precision strikes, pledging to “continue to strike at the mechanisms and operatives of the Iranian terror regime wherever they operate.”
The most optimistic forecast for this conflict is the eradication of the Islamic regime at the hands of historically oppressed Iranian civilians. For now, conditions on the streets are still far too volatile to resume protests.
Israeli eyes in the sky, combined with targeted strikes against Basij forces, can help tilt the odds in favor of the protesters seeking to take their country back from tyrants. A lesser success would be weakening the regime’s nuclear, ballistic, and drone capabilities to dramatically decrease the threat Iran poses to the United States and the world. The United States and Israel have already severely weakened the Islamic Republic, but the mission is far from over.
David May is the research manager and a senior research analyst at the Foundation for Defense of Democracies (FDD), where Aaron Goren is a research analyst and editor. For more analysis from the authors and FDD, please subscribe HERE. Follow David and Aaron on X @DavidSamuelMay and @RealAaronGoren. Follow FDD on X @FDD. FDD is a Washington, DC-based, nonpartisan research institute focusing on national security and foreign policy.