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A first kiss, then marriage: Two rabbis-to-be tie the knot at a fun-filled California wedding
(JTA) — Zoe Dressner and Margeaux Wolberg had just one month free between graduating from college and when they were due in Jerusalem to begin rabbinical school. So, they figured, in addition to packing, finding an apartment and nailing down the logistics of a 6,000-mile move, why not get married?
At 23 and 22, respectively, the women are much younger than the average college-educated brides — but the decision to marry felt like a natural step in the relationship that began just months into college, accelerated because of the pandemic and, they knew, was headed for a shared destination in the rabbinate.
“The only questions left were do we go directly after college or take a year off, and which school do we apply to,” said Dressner. “Luckily, we both felt really attached to the Reform movement, which meant we were both set on attending Hebrew Union College. We’re lucky that it worked out.”
They had been together for less than a year when all colleges and universities in the United States shuttered their campuses because of the descending pandemic.
“We lived with my family and her family. We weren’t in college with our friends anymore,” Dressner said. “We figured that if this is working, then it must be legit, and it was.”
Their love story traversed three of Judaism’s denominations. Both women were first-year students in the joint program between Columbia University and List College, the undergraduate school of the Conservative movement’s Jewish Theological Seminary,when Dressner asked her classmates in an introductory Bible class whether anyone would like to check out a Reconstructionist Shabbat service. She got only one taker: Wolberg.
One feature of the wedding stood out: a bouncy house. “I need to be pushed out of my comfort zone,” Dressner said. (Courtesy)
The next morning, on a cold January day, they walked from Morningside Heights to the Society for the Advancement of Judaism, commonly known as SAJ, a Reconstructionist synagogue about two miles south of the JTS campus, and back. As they chatted, they learned they had something in common that was relatively rare for students at List College: Their Jewish passion had been stoked in the Reform movement, through their synagogues and the NFTY youth group — Wolberg in San Francisco and Dressner in East Brunswick, New Jersey.
Three months after their Shabbat morning stroll, the two women opened up to each other that their new friendship was turning into something more.
Neither had ever dated another woman. In fact, Dressner was the first person Wolberg ever dated at all.
“She was my first kiss,” Wolberg said. “And now we’re married.”
Once they planned to wed, they decided it would mostly fall on Wolberg to plan the wedding, while Dressner would plan the proposal. Back in New York, on Dec. 23, 2021, Dressner’s itinerary took them from a light show at the Brooklyn Botanical Garden to sipping warm cider on a rooftop bar to dinner at a kosher steakhouse. They also exchanged rings.
“We started the day by walking around Morningside Heights and recalling special memories together: dates, places we’d lived, etc.” Wolberg said. “I wasn’t surprised that we were getting engaged that day, but the whole day’s plan was a surprise.”
Their wedding similarly packed a lot into a short time. After heading to Calfornia from New York, they had a five-day window in which to marry before leaving for Israel. They set their sights on Sunday, June 12, but their preferred venue could accommodate them only on June 10, the Friday before.
The pair married amid the redwood trees at Old Mill Park in Marin County, holding a daytime reception that reflected a slew of their passions: Mediterranean food, progressive politics (informational posters about same-sex marriage and gun control) and Tevas, the outdoor sandals that both nature enthusiasts have long favored.
Dressner and Wolberg married amid the redwood trees at Old Mill Park in Marin County, California. (Hellena Cedeño Photography)
Then the couple headed to Kabbalat Shabbat services at San Francisco’s Congregation Emanu-El. (Beth Singer, Emanu-El’s rabbi, had performed their wedding ceremony after another rabbi and cantor had to cancel.) A catered dinner followed, at which their grandparents and siblings recited the sheva brachot, the blessings said during the first week of a marriage. They went back Saturday morning for services, then headed to Wolberg’s parents’ house for a family lunch. That night, they held a party for their friends.
The couple said they appreciated that Shabbat services became a continuation of their celebration. They also said that one feature of the wedding stood out: the bouncy house.
That was Dressner’s idea. Given their ages, she said, she thought, “Why not?”
But although some of their parents were initially skeptical about it, most of the guests partook. And one could also see the massive inflatable slide that the couple zoomed down together as a metaphor for their relationship.
“I’m much more reserved personality-wise, and sometimes I need to be pushed out of my comfort zone,” Dressner said. “I learn a lot from the wonderful way Margeaux approaches the world so differently.”
Meanwhile, Wolberg said that among the traits she loves most about her partner is that she has long considered herself a bit of an eccentric (her love of Renaissance music was part of what endeared her to Dressner), and thought it might be difficult to find someone who would put up with her many quirks.
“Zoe wholeheartedly accepts me,” she said. “My quirks are the things she loves the most. She’s not just putting up with me, but really loves all of me for exactly who I am.”
This story is part of JTA’s Mazels series, which profiles unique and noteworthy Jewish life events from births to b’nai mitzvah to weddings and everything in between.
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Rob Reiner asked the big questions. His death leaves us searching for answers.
Can men and women just be friends? Can you be in the revenge business too long? Why don’t you just make 10 louder and have that be the top number on your amp?
All are questions Rob Reiner sought to answer. In the wake of his and his wife’s unexpected deaths, which are being investigated as homicides, it’s hard not to reel with questions of our own: How could someone so beloved come to such a senseless end? How can we account for such a staggering loss to the culture when it came so prematurely? How can we juggle that grief and our horror over the violent murder of Jews at an Australian beach, gathered to celebrate the first night of Hanukkah, and still light candles of our own?
The act of asking may be a way forward, just as Rob Reiner first emerged from sitcom stardom by making inquiries.
In This is Spinal Tap, his first feature, he played the role of Marty DiBergi, the in-universe director of the documentary about the misbegotten 1982 U.S. concert tour of the eponymous metal band. He was, in a sense, culminating the work of his father, Carl Reiner, who launched a classic comedy record as the interviewer of Mel Brooks’ 2,000 Year Old Man. DiBergi as played by Reiner was a reverential interlocutor — one might say a fanboy — but he did take time to query Nigel Tufnell as to why his amp went to 11. And, quoting a bad review, he asked “What day did the Lord create Spinal Tap, and couldn’t he have rested on that day too?”
But Reiner had larger questions to mull over. And in this capacity — not just his iconic scene at Katz’s Deli in When Harry Met Sally or the goblin Yiddishkeit of Miracle Max in The Princess Bride — he was a fundamentally Jewish director.
Stand By Me is a poignant meditation on death through the eyes of childhood — it asks what we remember and how those early experiences shape us. The Princess Bride is a storybook consideration of love — it wonders at the price of seeking or avenging it at all costs. A Few Good Men is a trenchant, cynical-for-Aaron Sorkin, inquest of abuse in the military — how can it happen in an atmosphere of discipline.
In his public life, Reiner was an activist. He asked how he could end cigarette smoking. He asked why gay couples couldn’t marry like straight ones. He asked what Russia may have had on President Trump. This fall, with the FCC’s crackdown on Jimmy Kimmel, he asked if he would soon be censored. He led with the Jewish question of how the world might be repaired.
Guttingly, in perhaps his most personal project, 2015’s Being Charlie, co-written by his son Nick he wondered how a parent can help a child struggling with addiction. (Nick was questioned by the LAPD concerning his parents’ deaths and was placed under arrest.)
None of the questions had pat answers. Taken together, there’s scarcely a part of life that Reiner’s filmography overlooked, including the best way to end it, in 2007’s The Bucket List.
Judging by the longevity of his parents, both of whom lived into their 90s, it’s entirely possible Reiner had much more to ask of the world. That we won’t get to see another film by him, or spot him on the news weighing in on the latest democratic aberration, is hard to swallow.
Yet there is some small comfort in the note Reiner went out on. In October, he unveiled Spinal Tap II: The Beginning of the End, a valedictory moment in a long and celebrated career.
Reiner once again returned to the role of DiBergi. I saw a special prescreening with a live Q&A after the film. It was the day Charlie Kirk was assassinated. I half-expected Reiner to break character and address political violence — his previous film, God & Country, was a documentary on Christian Nationalism.
But Reiner never showed up — only Marty DiBergi, sitting with Nigel Tuffnell (Christopher Guest), David St. Hubbins (Michael McKean) and Derek Smalls (Harry Shearer) at Grauman’s Chinese Theater in Los Angeles. The interview was broadcast to theaters across the country, with viewer-submitted questions like “What, in fact, did the glove from Smell the Glove smell like?” (Minty.) And “Who was the inspiration for ‘Big Bottom?’” (Della Reese.)
DiBergi had one question for the audience: “How did you feel about the film?”
The applause was rapturous, but DiBergi still couldn’t get over Nigel Tuffnell’s Marshall amp, which now stretched beyond 11 and into infinity.
“How can that be?” he asked. “How can you go to infinity? How loud is that?”
There’s no limit, Tuffnell assured him. “Why should there be a limit?”
Reiner, an artist of boundless curiosity and humanity, was limitless. His remit was to reason why. He’ll be impossible to replace, but in asking difficult questions, we can honor him.
The post Rob Reiner asked the big questions. His death leaves us searching for answers. appeared first on The Forward.
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22 arrested in Amsterdam protest over contentious Hanukkah concert featuring IDF cantor
(JTA) — Dozens of people were arrested on Sunday after protesting outside Amsterdam’s Royal Concert Hall, where multiple Hanukkah concerts were taking place.
The day’s concert lineup came under scrutiny last month after the concert hall, known as the Concertgebouw, announced that it was canceling a planned Hanukkah concert featuring an Israeli performer over his ties to the Israeli army. Shai Abramson is the chief cantor of the Israel Defense Forces.
After an uproar, the concert hall and Hanukkah concert organizer struck a deal: A public Hanukkah concert would take place on Sunday evening without Abramson on the docket, while smaller, private performances featuring Abramson would take place inside the building earlier in the day.
Pro-Palestinian protesters were not deterred by the detente. Dozens gathered outside the Concertgebouw on Sunday evening, where there was also a large police presence as well as a sizable pro-Israel contingent of demonstrators.
Footage from the scene showed clashes between pro-Palestinian protesters and police. The Dutch Police said in a statement that the demonstrations had largely “proceeded smoothly,” with 22 arrests on mostly minor charges.
“Police intervened several times to keep the protesters at bay and maintain public order. Riot police used batons,” the statement said. “Protesters also set off several smoke bombs. One police officer sustained minor injuries during the action.”
Amsterdam is home to a strong pro-Palestinian activist movement that has clashed before with police, including during the 2024 student encampments and surrounding a Maccabi Tel Aviv soccer match last year in which Jewish fans were targeted with street violence.
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Drive-by shooting targets Jewish family’s Hanukkah display, police in California town say
(JTA) — A California home decorated for Hanukkah was targeted Friday night in a drive-by shooting, with police saying the assailants fired what appeared to be an airsoft gun from a car.
During the attack on the home, which had several inflatable Hanukkah decorations in its yard, the assailants drove by in a vehicle and allegedly unloaded 20 shots.
Later, the occupants of the vehicle allegedly shouted “F–ck the Jews” and “Free Palestine, N–ger,” according to an account of the incident posted to X by a resident of the home, Rodgir Cohen.
“Just as a reaction, people just, through ignorance and hate, respond with negativity and violence,” Cohen told CBS News. “For random acts of hate crimes, it’s scary to be in the midst of a victim and it’s scary.”
Cohen told a different local news outlet that he and his son had encountered the alleged assailants in person shortly before the shooting.
The City of Redlands said no injuries or damage was reported, and the weapon used was believed to be an airsoft gun after an investigation found no shell casings and the surveillance video of the incident showed no muzzle flash.
Local officials condemned the incident, which came during the same weekend as a major antisemitic attack on Jews celebrating Hanukkah in Sydney, Australia.
“As our friends in the Jewish community begin their celebration of Hanukkah, several tragic incidents have occurred across the globe, targeting people simply because of their faith,” the City of Redlands wrote in a statement. “Unfortunately, Redlands is not immune to these hateful acts, as a local family was targeted because of their festive home decorations celebrating Hanukkah. ”
The incident is currently being investigated as a hate crime, and Redlands Police said they believed the family was targeted because of the Hanukkah decorations. They also said they would provide additional patrols in the area and around local places of worship.
The Los Angeles chapter of the Anti-Defamation League decried the incident. “Last night’s shooting into the home of a Jewish family on Shabbat in Redlands, CA is another dangerous and despicable act of violence impacting the Jewish community in Southern California,” David Englin, the group’s senior regional director, said in a statement. “This cannot be tolerated or accepted as normal.”
Last year, the ADL reported that California had 1,344 antisemitic incidents, the second-highest number of any state besides New York. Of those incidents, 1,000 were antisemitic harassment, while 311 were vandalism and 33 were assault.
Congregation Emanu El, a Reform synagogue in Redlands, wrote on Facebook Sunday that it was in communication with the family, who were past members, as well as with Redlands Police.
“Please know that the safety and well-being of our community remains our highest priority,” wrote Congregation Emanu El President Greg Weissman. “We will continue to stay in close contact with local authorities and share updates as appropriate. Thank you for your care for one another and for our community.”
Cohen is a lecturer in religion at Cal State Fullerton and a former political candidate in Redlands who ran on a tough-on-crime platform. His wife Heftsibah Cohen told a local news outside that she initially thought fireworks were going off before checking a surveillance tape.
“We always know there’s antisemitism and hate and racism out there. It’s always out there,” she said. “But when it comes by your house, it’s that reminder of how real it is.”
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