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A first kiss, then marriage: Two rabbis-to-be tie the knot at a fun-filled California wedding
(JTA) — Zoe Dressner and Margeaux Wolberg had just one month free between graduating from college and when they were due in Jerusalem to begin rabbinical school. So, they figured, in addition to packing, finding an apartment and nailing down the logistics of a 6,000-mile move, why not get married?
At 23 and 22, respectively, the women are much younger than the average college-educated brides — but the decision to marry felt like a natural step in the relationship that began just months into college, accelerated because of the pandemic and, they knew, was headed for a shared destination in the rabbinate.
“The only questions left were do we go directly after college or take a year off, and which school do we apply to,” said Dressner. “Luckily, we both felt really attached to the Reform movement, which meant we were both set on attending Hebrew Union College. We’re lucky that it worked out.”
They had been together for less than a year when all colleges and universities in the United States shuttered their campuses because of the descending pandemic.
“We lived with my family and her family. We weren’t in college with our friends anymore,” Dressner said. “We figured that if this is working, then it must be legit, and it was.”
Their love story traversed three of Judaism’s denominations. Both women were first-year students in the joint program between Columbia University and List College, the undergraduate school of the Conservative movement’s Jewish Theological Seminary,when Dressner asked her classmates in an introductory Bible class whether anyone would like to check out a Reconstructionist Shabbat service. She got only one taker: Wolberg.
One feature of the wedding stood out: a bouncy house. “I need to be pushed out of my comfort zone,” Dressner said. (Courtesy)
The next morning, on a cold January day, they walked from Morningside Heights to the Society for the Advancement of Judaism, commonly known as SAJ, a Reconstructionist synagogue about two miles south of the JTS campus, and back. As they chatted, they learned they had something in common that was relatively rare for students at List College: Their Jewish passion had been stoked in the Reform movement, through their synagogues and the NFTY youth group — Wolberg in San Francisco and Dressner in East Brunswick, New Jersey.
Three months after their Shabbat morning stroll, the two women opened up to each other that their new friendship was turning into something more.
Neither had ever dated another woman. In fact, Dressner was the first person Wolberg ever dated at all.
“She was my first kiss,” Wolberg said. “And now we’re married.”
Once they planned to wed, they decided it would mostly fall on Wolberg to plan the wedding, while Dressner would plan the proposal. Back in New York, on Dec. 23, 2021, Dressner’s itinerary took them from a light show at the Brooklyn Botanical Garden to sipping warm cider on a rooftop bar to dinner at a kosher steakhouse. They also exchanged rings.
“We started the day by walking around Morningside Heights and recalling special memories together: dates, places we’d lived, etc.” Wolberg said. “I wasn’t surprised that we were getting engaged that day, but the whole day’s plan was a surprise.”
Their wedding similarly packed a lot into a short time. After heading to Calfornia from New York, they had a five-day window in which to marry before leaving for Israel. They set their sights on Sunday, June 12, but their preferred venue could accommodate them only on June 10, the Friday before.
The pair married amid the redwood trees at Old Mill Park in Marin County, holding a daytime reception that reflected a slew of their passions: Mediterranean food, progressive politics (informational posters about same-sex marriage and gun control) and Tevas, the outdoor sandals that both nature enthusiasts have long favored.
Dressner and Wolberg married amid the redwood trees at Old Mill Park in Marin County, California. (Hellena Cedeño Photography)
Then the couple headed to Kabbalat Shabbat services at San Francisco’s Congregation Emanu-El. (Beth Singer, Emanu-El’s rabbi, had performed their wedding ceremony after another rabbi and cantor had to cancel.) A catered dinner followed, at which their grandparents and siblings recited the sheva brachot, the blessings said during the first week of a marriage. They went back Saturday morning for services, then headed to Wolberg’s parents’ house for a family lunch. That night, they held a party for their friends.
The couple said they appreciated that Shabbat services became a continuation of their celebration. They also said that one feature of the wedding stood out: the bouncy house.
That was Dressner’s idea. Given their ages, she said, she thought, “Why not?”
But although some of their parents were initially skeptical about it, most of the guests partook. And one could also see the massive inflatable slide that the couple zoomed down together as a metaphor for their relationship.
“I’m much more reserved personality-wise, and sometimes I need to be pushed out of my comfort zone,” Dressner said. “I learn a lot from the wonderful way Margeaux approaches the world so differently.”
Meanwhile, Wolberg said that among the traits she loves most about her partner is that she has long considered herself a bit of an eccentric (her love of Renaissance music was part of what endeared her to Dressner), and thought it might be difficult to find someone who would put up with her many quirks.
“Zoe wholeheartedly accepts me,” she said. “My quirks are the things she loves the most. She’s not just putting up with me, but really loves all of me for exactly who I am.”
This story is part of JTA’s Mazels series, which profiles unique and noteworthy Jewish life events from births to b’nai mitzvah to weddings and everything in between.
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Circumcision could be ‘child abuse’ if done wrong, UK prosectors warn after deaths
(JTA) — British Jews are weighing in after authorities said they are considering deeming some circumcisions “a form of child abuse” following deaths from the procedure.
The Crown Prosecution Service, the region’s chief agency for criminal prosecutions, said that while male circumcision is not a crime, it may constitute child abuse “if carried out incorrectly or in inappropriate circumstances,” according to a draft document seen by the Guardian.
This document, which looked at circumcision as a potential “harmful practice” alongside virginity testing, breast flattening and exorcisms, has driven heated debate among Jewish and Muslim leaders since it was revealed this week.
The draft guidance follows a coroner’s report from Dec. 28 about Mohamed Abdisamad, a 6-month-old boy who died in London from a streptococcus infection caused by his circumcision in 2023.
The coroner warned of “a risk that future deaths could occur unless action is taken,” noting that “any individual may conduct a Non-Therapeutic Male Circumcision (NTMC) without any prior training.” He said there was no system to ensure that people who conduct religious circumcisions have accreditation or meet requirements for infection control.
In the past, another coroner raised similar concerns over the 2014 death of Oliver Asante-Yeboah, who developed sepsis after his circumcision by a rabbi. Male circumcision was a factor in 14 deaths in England and Wales since 2001, half of them men over 18 and half boys under 18, according to the Office for National Statistics.
Unlicensed circumcisions are a subject of mounting scrutiny in Europe, raising alarm in some Jewish communities. In May, Belgian police raided three homes in Antwerp as part of an investigation into illegal ritual circumcisions. And in 2024, a rabbi from London was arrested and imprisoned in Ireland for allegedly performing a circumcision without required credentials.
Some Jewish leaders swiftly condemned the Crown Prosecution Service document.
“Calling circumcision child abuse is fundamentally antisemitic,” said Gary Mond, founder of the Jewish National Assembly, to the Jewish News Syndicate.
Jonathan Arkush, co-chair of the Milah UK group that advocates for Jewish circumcision, told the Guardian that the document’s language about circumcision was “misleading” and he would be in touch with the prosecutors.
“The incidence of complications in circumcision performed in the Jewish community is vanishingly rare,” he said. “Circumcision is a core part of our identity.”
Other Jewish voices have urged action to enforce medically safe circumcisions. Rabbi Jonathan Romain, who oversees Reform Judaism’s religious court in Britain, said it was “time to clamp down on rogue practitioners” and called for mandatory training, monitoring and annual reports on the practice.
“Given that it is a longstanding and important tradition among Jews, Muslims and various other cultures, the best way forward is to only permit circumcision if it is practised by someone specifically qualified for it and who belongs to a nationally accredited scheme,” Romain said in a letter to the Guardian.
The Muslim Council of Britain also told the Guardian that it supports strengthening safeguards.
“Male circumcision is a lawful practice in the UK with recognised medical, religious and cultural foundations, and it should not be characterised in itself as child abuse,” said the group. “However, where procedures are carried out irresponsibly, without proper safeguards, and cause harm, they may rightly fall within the scope of criminal law.”
The post Circumcision could be ‘child abuse’ if done wrong, UK prosectors warn after deaths appeared first on The Forward.
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Tulsa’s Jewish community pushes back on Oklahoma Jewish charter school proposal
(JTA) — Leaders of Tulsa’s Jewish community are publicly pushing back against a proposal to open a publicly funded Jewish charter school in Oklahoma, saying the plan was developed without meaningful local input and could destabilize existing Jewish institutions.
In a joint statement released this week, senior figures from Tulsa’s synagogues, Jewish day school and community organizations said they opposed efforts by an outside group to create what would become the only religious school in the country entirely funded by taxpayers — an arrangement whose constitutionality is contested.
“We are deeply concerned that an external Jewish organization would pursue such an initiative in Oklahoma without first engaging in meaningful consultation with the established Oklahoma Jewish community,” the statement said. “To bypass community consultation in favor of an externally driven initiative is a serious error.”
The statement was signed by leaders from across Tulsa’s Jewish community, including the executive director of the Mizel Jewish Community Day School, rabbis from two Tulsa synagogues, and the head of Jewish Tulsa, the local federation.
The response follows an application by the National Ben Gamla Jewish Charter School Foundation to open a statewide online charter school that would combine Oklahoma academic standards with daily Jewish religious instruction.
Ben Gamla was founded by former U.S. Rep. Peter Deutsch, who told the Oklahoma Statewide Charter School Board on Monday that many families in the state are looking for a religious education option.
“There are a lot of parents that are looking for a sort of a faith-based, rigorous academic program,” Deutsch said.
Tulsa Jewish leaders rejected that claim. In their statement, they said Oklahoma already has Jewish schools and synagogue programs and that they were never consulted about any unmet need.
“Our local boards, organizations and donors have invested heavily in our local Jewish educational system through a dedication to learning,” the statement said, citing the day school and other community programs.
The application also raises a larger legal issue that board members openly acknowledged.
At Monday’s meeting, board chairman Brian Shellem said there was an “elephant in the room” given the board’s recent approval of another religious charter school — the St. Isidore of Seville Catholic Virtual School — which was later ruled unconstitutional by the Oklahoma Supreme Court and left unresolved after a 4-4 split at the U.S. Supreme Court.
Ben Gamla’s lawyers say that split leaves the door open.
“The exclusion of religious charters based on faith violates [U.S.] Supreme Court precedents that ensure equal access to public education for everyone, regardless of religion,” Eric Baxter, a senior lawyer at Becket, the religious-liberty firm representing Ben Gamla, said in a statement.
Baxter said Peter Deutsch consulted with local rabbis and parents during visits to Oklahoma in 2023.
“Contrary to claims of no engagement, Peter Deutsch consulted with local rabbis and parents during exploratory visits in 2023,” Baxter said. “Far from bypassing the community, Peter’s proposal builds on those consultations to expand faith-based choices for families, and we urge the Board to assess it on its merits.”
When asked who specifically Deutsch consulted with and whether here has been any consultation since then, Becket did not provide details. Instead, a firm spokesperson accused local Jewish institutions of trying to block competition.
“Sometimes, institutions that see potential new competitors will attempt to keep those competitors out of the market for educational providers,” said Ryan Colby, a spokesperson for Becket. He added, “While the Jewish Federation is entitled to its own opinions, it does not speak for all Jews.”
Colby added that Deutsch has spoken with Jews who support the proposal and said he expects non-Jewish families would also enroll.
The Oklahoma Statewide Charter School Board is expected to vote on the application as early as soon as its next monthly meeting on Feb. 19.
The post Tulsa’s Jewish community pushes back on Oklahoma Jewish charter school proposal appeared first on The Forward.
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Travel disrupted, fears elevated as Israel weathers uncertainty over potential US strike on Iran
(JTA) — Several European carriers canceled flights to Tel Aviv on Wednesday as turmoil over a potential U.S. strike on Iran roiled the skies and elevated fears in Israel.
President Donald Trump has threatened for days to intervene in Iran if the government proceeds with plans to execute protesters who have staged weeks of demonstrations against the autocratic religious regime there. Thousands of protesters have been killed in the streets, according to both government and opposition sources, and Tehran had planned a first execution of a protester arrested during the demonstrations on Thursday.
That execution was postponed amid sharp pressure from the United States, as signs piled up that Trump may plan to go forward with a military option against Iran. U.S. planes have moved within the region, several countries including the United States have urged nonessential personnel to leave the region and Iran briefly closed its airspace on Wednesday night.
On Thursday, reports emerged that Gulf states had talked Trump out of an imminent attack. But the uncertainty — and the recollection that Trump had appeared to waffle before striking Iran last year — has escalated fears in Israel, which is the Islamic Republic of Iran’s sworn enemy.
Iran and Israel fought a deadly 12-day war last year. This time, Israel and Iran have reportedly exchanged assurances, via Russia, that they would not strike each other first, but Iranian officials have said they could attack Israel alongside U.S. targets if Trump strikes Iran.
Daily life in Israel has not been interrupted, but Israelis are on high alert for a potential rehash of last year, when Iranian missiles sent them running to safe rooms multiple times and killed dozens of people.
So far, Lufthansa canceled some flights, then announced that it would revamp its schedule to prevent its employees from being in Israel overnight, when any Iranian retaliation is seen as more likely. A flight from New York was delayed on Wednesday while its carrier reportedly changed its route, igniting fears that the tensions had moved into a new phase. And some travelers have opted not to press on with their Israel trips, fearing being stuck in the country if conditions deteriorate.
At the same time, Israelis and Jews around the world, including tens of thousands of Persian Jews who fled following the ascendance of the Islamic Republic in 1979, are rooting for the protesters and against the regime. The American Jewish Committee issued a statement late Wednesday in support of the protesters.
“The international community has a moral responsibility to act in solidarity with the Iranian people and to advance a safer region and a more peaceful Middle East,” the organization said.
The post Travel disrupted, fears elevated as Israel weathers uncertainty over potential US strike on Iran appeared first on The Forward.
