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How ‘holding space’ became a post-Oct. 7 mantra of grief and comfort
As Sukkot and the anniversary of the Oct. 7 attacks approached, I received separate emails from two different Jewish organizations with what to me was an unfamiliar use of the word “holding.”
The first, from the progressive group New Jewish Narrative, had the subject line “Holding complexity on October 7th.”
The second, from the women’s educational group Svivah, read, “Holding Their Light, Holding Our Loss.”
In each case, I could imagine a synonym that might work just as well, like “offering” or “providing” nuance, or “remembering” their light and “mourning” our loss.
But I trusted both organizations in their use of language, and I’m glad I did. It turns out the term “holding” has become widespread among many Jewish writers and activists, usually in therapeutic or comforting contexts.
I also found out that I’m late to the “holding” party, and that the term sort of blew up last year when two Hollywood stars used the expression in a video that went viral.
When Jewish writers use “holding” this way, it means something like “to leave room for,” the way a good friend or therapist indulges your feelings without trying to contradict or explain them away.
“How do we talk about October 7th? How do we share everyone’s grief and also hold how isolating and scary it has been?” Svivah wrote, in an email promoting an event marking the two-year anniversary of the Hamas attacks. “ “How do we hold the enormity of the loss — knowing that each and every life lost was a whole world?”
“Holding” in this sense is usually followed by “space,” as in this recent message from Hillel International ahead of Sukkot:
This year, as the holiday overlaps with the two-year commemoration of the October 7 attacks, may we enter the sukkah holding space for both joy and grief, honoring the victims and their families while embracing traditions that root us in resilience.
The term “holding space” as it is understood today was popularized by Canadian writer and facilitator Heather Plett in a 2015 blog post. Plett defined it to Psychology Today as “being willing to walk alongside another person in whatever journey they’re on, without judging them, making them feel inadequate, trying to fix them, or trying to impact the outcome.”
Since then, “holding space” has become a common term in therapeutic, coaching and spiritual communities, emphasizing the importance of being present and supportive.
It’s also the definition that launched a thousand memes. Late last year, “Wicked” stars Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande were being interviewed by journalist Tracey E. Gilchrist, who told Erivo that “people are taking the lyrics of ‘Defying Gravity’ and really holding space with that, and feeling power in that.” Fans and haters couldn’t get enough of the two stars’ deeply emotional response.
I apparently missed the “holding space” hullabaloo that followed, but the phrase apparently triggered people inclined to dismiss therapy-speak as jargony, cloying or imprecise.
Despite the mockery, “holding space” has become useful, especially at a time of deep political and cultural polarization, and particularly in a Jewish world still reeling from the attacks, the war and a rise in antisemitism.
Rabbis and other Jewish influentials using the term suggest that people are hungry for settings where they can express their feelings without rancor. That hunger has only increased with the trauma that followed Oct. 7, when many Jews felt isolated and unable to express their grief in public, and wary of airing their political views even in Jewish settings.
Last year, one year after the attacks, Sarah Sokolic, the co-founder and executive director of Lab/Shul, told JTA how her New York-based congregation planned to negotiate its political divides on the one-year anniversary of Oct. 7.
“We have community members that span the spectrum of Zionist, anti-Zionist, and every nuance in between, and holding nuance and holding space for both … is something that we’ve really leaned into,” Sokolic said.
Similarly, the Network of Jewish Human Service Agencies is holding a series of monthly online seminars for Jewish professionals called “Holding Space.” In announcing the series over the summer, NJHSA said it was in response to the war in the Middle East, but also to the upheavals surrounding political violence, anti-Israel protests around the country and immigration raids that “are compounding widespread anxiety and fear.”
“[A]mid this turmoil, the demands of leadership, caregiving, and showing up for others remain relentless,” it explained, “That’s why The Network is reaffirming its commitment to holding space for you — to pause, connect, reflect, and support one another.”
In February, after the bodies of hostages Shiri, Ariel and Kfir Bibas were returned to Israel for burial, Rabbi Chaya Bender of Bnai Israel Congregation in Wilmington, Delaware offered her own take on “holding space” as the congregation dealt with its emotions.
“This past Saturday, I spoke about holding space for horror,” she said in a sermon. “When emotions are so large, and are so raw, the only thing that one can do is to pause and to allow the feelings to flow. In the aftershock of horror, of tremendous loss, it is not the time to act. After the initial shock waves have subsided and grief begins to become true mourning, that is one when can act.”
The second anniversary of the attacks coincides with the first day of Sukkot, a holiday in which Jews move out of their comfortable homes and eat and sleep in temporary booths set up in their backyards, balconies and communal spaces. For some, it is a holiday about hospitality — having friends and relatives over for a meal, and even inviting biblical forebears, known as “ushpizin,” to take a symbolic seat at the table.
On Sukkot, “holding space” is both literal and metaphorical.
On the first day of the holiday, the Hostages Families and Survivors Forum planned to gather in front of the White House in a “Sukkah of Hope.” With talk of a peace agreement in the air, the group announced, “We’ll honor those we lost, hold space for the 48 hostages still in Gaza, and continue the fight to bring them home.”
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The post How ‘holding space’ became a post-Oct. 7 mantra of grief and comfort appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
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‘For As Long As Necessary’: Katz Says Campaign Against Iran Entering Decisive Stage
Israel’s Defense Minister Israel Katz and his Greek counterpart Nikos Dendias make statements to the press, at the Ministry of Defense in Athens Greece, Jan. 20, 2026. Photo: REUTERS/Louisa Gouliamaki
i24 News – Israel Katz said Saturday that the confrontation with Iran had entered a “decisive phase,” as US and Israeli strikes on Iranian targets continued and regional tensions escalated.
Speaking after a security assessment at Israel’s defense headquarters alongside Eyal Zamir, chief of staff of the Israel Defense Forces, and senior military and intelligence officials, the Israeli defense minister said the campaign against the Islamic Republic would continue “for as long as necessary.”
“The global and regional struggle against Iran, led by American President Donald Trump and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, is intensifying and entering its decisive phase,” Katz said.
Katz also praised US strikes on Kharg Island, a key Iranian oil hub, describing them as a “severe blow” to the Iranian regime. He said the attacks were an appropriate response to Iranian threats against the strategic Strait of Hormuz and to what he called Tehran’s attempts to pressure the international community.
At the same time, Katz said the Israeli Air Force was continuing a “powerful wave of attacks” against targets in Tehran and other parts of Iran.
He accused the Iranian leadership of using “regional and global terrorism” and strategic blackmail in an effort to deter Israel and the United States from pursuing their military campaign, warning that such actions would be met with a “strong and uncompromising response.”
Katz added that the outcome of the conflict would ultimately depend on the Iranian population. “Only the Iranian people can put an end to this situation through a determined struggle, until the overthrow of the terrorist regime and the salvation of Iran,” he said.
According to the minister, the confrontation now pits the Iranian regime’s determination to survive against growing military pressure from Israel and its allies.
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Trump Rejects Efforts to Launch Iran Ceasefire Talks, Sources Say
US President Donald Trump speaks on the day he honors reigning Major League Soccer (MLS) champion Inter Miami CF players and team officials with an event in the East Room of the White House in Washington, DC, US, March 5, 2026. Photo: REUTERS/Jonathan Ernst
President Donald Trump’s administration has rebuffed efforts by Middle Eastern allies to start diplomatic negotiations aimed at ending the Iran war that started two weeks ago with a massive US-Israeli air assault, according to three sources familiar with the efforts.
Iran, for its part, has rejected the possibility of any ceasefire until US and Israeli strikes end, two senior Iranian sources told Reuters, adding that several countries had been trying to mediate an end to the conflict.
The lack of interest from Washington and Tehran suggests both sides are digging in for an extended conflict, even as the widening war inflicts civilian casualties and Iran’s closure of the Strait of Hormuz sends oil prices soaring.
US strikes on Iran’s Kharg Island, the country’s main oil export hub, on Friday night underscored Trump’s determination to press ahead with his military assault. Iran’s new Supreme Leader Mojtaba Khamenei has vowed to keep the Strait of Hormuz shut and threatened to step up attacks on neighboring countries.
The war has killed more than 2,000 people, mostly in Iran, and created the biggest-ever oil supply disruption as maritime traffic has halted in the Strait of Hormuz, through which a fifth of the world’s oil is transported.
ATTEMPTS TO OPEN LINES OF COMMUNICATION
Oman, which mediated talks before the war, has tried multiple times to open a line of communication, but the White House has made clear it is not interested, according to two sources, who like others in this story were granted anonymity in order to speak freely about diplomatic matters.
A senior White House official confirmed Trump has rebuffed those efforts to start talks and is focused on pressing ahead with the war to further weaken Tehran’s military capabilities.
“He’s not interested in that right now, and we’re going to continue with the mission unabated. Maybe there’s a day, but not right now,” the official said.
During the first week of the war, Trump wrote on his Truth Social platform that Iran’s leadership and military were so battered by US-Israeli strikes that they wanted to talk, but that it was “Too Late!” He has a history of shifting foreign policy stances without warning, making it hard to rule out that he might test the waters for restarting diplomacy.
“President Trump said new potential leadership in Iran has indicated they want to talk and eventually will talk. For now, Operation Epic Fury continues unabated,” a second senior White House official said when asked to comment on this story.
The Iranian sources said Tehran has rejected efforts by several countries to negotiate a ceasefire until the US and Israel end their airstrikes and meet Iran’s demands, which include a permanent end to US and Israeli attacks and compensation as part of a ceasefire.
Egypt, which was involved in mediation before the war, has also tried to reopen communications, according to three security and diplomatic sources. While the efforts do not appear to have made progress, they have secured some military restraint from neighboring countries hit by Iran, according to one of the sources.
Egypt’s foreign ministry, the government of Oman and the Iranian government did not respond to requests for comment.
POSITIONS HARDEN ON ALL SIDES
The war’s impact on global oil markets has significantly increased the cost for the United States.
Some US officials and advisers to Trump urge a quick end to the war, warning that surging gasoline prices could exact a high political price from the president’s Republican Party, with US midterm elections looming.
Others are pressing Trump to maintain the offensive against the Islamic Republic to destroy its missile program and prevent it from obtaining a nuclear weapon, according to Reuters reporting.
Trump’s rejection of diplomatic efforts could indicate that, for now, the administration has no plans for a quick end to the war.
Indeed, both the United States and Iran appear even less willing to engage than during the opening days of the war, when senior US officials reached out to Oman to discuss de-escalating, according to several sources.
One source said Iran’s top security official, Ali Larijani, and Foreign Minister Abbas Araghchi had also sought to use Oman as a conduit for ceasefire discussions that would have involved U.S. Vice President JD Vance.
But those discussions have not materialized.
Instead, Iran’s position has hardened, said a third senior Iranian source.
“Whatever was communicated previously through the diplomatic channels is irrelevant now,” said the source.
“The Guards strongly believe that if they lose control over the Strait of Hormuz, Iran will lose the war,” the source added, referring to the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps, an elite paramilitary force that controls large parts of the economy.
“Therefore, the Guards will not accept any ceasefire, ceasefire talks, or diplomatic efforts, and Iran’s political leaders will not engage in such talks despite attempts by several countries.”
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US Strikes More Than 90 Iranian Military Targets on Kharg Island, CENTCOM Says
A satellite image shows an oil terminal at Kharg Island, Iran, February 25, 2026. Photo: 2026 Planet Labs PBC/Handout via REUTERS
United States forces executed a large-scale precision strike on Kharg Island in Iran on Friday night, the US Central Command said on Saturday.
“US forces successfully struck more than 90 Iranian military targets on Kharg Island, while preserving the oil infrastructure,” CENTCOM said.
The strike destroyed naval mine storage facilities, missile storage bunkers, and multiple other military sites, the US military said in a post on X.
President Donald Trump threatened on Friday to strike the oil infrastructure of Iran’s Kharg Island hub, unless Tehran stopped attacking vessels in the Strait of Hormuz.