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In ‘Jewish Matchmaking,’ a diverse set of Jews experience Orthodox dating practices
(JTA) — According to Jewish lore, God has been making matches since the creation of the world. Aleeza Ben Shalom has been at it only since 2007 — but the Jewish matchmaker is about to bring what she calls “the most important job in the world” to the masses.
As the host of “Jewish Matchmaking” on Netflix, Ben Shalom adapts the model of Orthodox arranged matches to Jewish singles from a variety of religious and cultural backgrounds, including secular, Reform and Conservative Jews from across the United States and Israel.
Formal matchmaking, known as shidduch dating and considered de rigueur in haredi Orthodox circles, has been depicted as oppressive and constricting on Netflix dramas such as “Shtisel” and “Unorthodox.” But Ben Shalom believes her basic approach to love and marriage makes sense for a wide array of people — and she’s out to prove it.
“I’m hoping that people will see that matchmaking and Judaism is not just something that’s old, but that’s timeless, that’s relevant,” Ben Shalom told the Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
“We can use this beautiful, ancient tradition of matchmaking and bring it to modern life, and help people to find love from any age, stage, any background. It doesn’t matter. It’s universal,” she said. “The wisdom that I share is from Judaism. It’s based in Torah, but it’s for the world. Anybody of any background, of any culture can watch this, can learn something from it and can implement it in their lives.”
Ben Shalom isn’t the first to make the case that matchmaking services can help a wide array of Jews find lasting love. Ventures such as YentaNet, a pluralistic matchmaking service that arose about a decade ago, and Tribe 12, a Jewish nonprofit working with young adults in Philadelphia where Ben Shalom got her start, have sought to pair Jewish singles who might be a good fit for each other.
But the practice is most common in haredi Orthodox communities, where the norms around shidduch dating are well known and closely followed. Daters have a “shidduch resume” outlining their education, interests and family background; parents are involved in the process; and dating is intended to move quickly toward marriage. Dates typically take place in public spaces and couples are expected not to touch until they are married.
In formal Orthodox matchmaking, the shadchan, or matchmaker, is usually compensated by the parents, receiving around $1,000 upon a couple’s engagement, although higher-end services may charge more. Some matchmakers may charge a smaller amount for the initial meeting with a client, while Ben Shalom’s company, Marriage Minded Mentor, charges $50 to $100 an hour on a sliding scale based on the client’s salary. (Sima Taparia, the star and host of “Indian Matchmaking,” the Netflix show that inspired “Jewish Matchmaking,” reportedly charges her clients around $1,330 to $8,000 for similar services.)
Matchmakers keep records of who in their communities is looking for a match, but they can also tap into networks of other matchmakers and databases of singles as they seek to pair their clients. “We don’t believe in competition, we believe in collaboration,” said Ben Shalom, who is currently based in Israel.
Ben Shalom grew up in a Conservative Jewish community where matchmaking was not the norm, and later became Orthodox. She knew her husband for three weeks before becoming engaged, then touched him for the first time during their wedding four months later.
She knows that most participants on “Jewish Matchmaking” are unlikely to follow those same restrictions. Still, she encourages them to at least try.
“I’m really trying to have you guys touch hearts,” Ben Shalom tells Harmonie Krieger, a marketing and brand consultant in her 40s, as she explains why she wants Krieger to abstain from physical contact for five dates. “You will gain clarity. If there’s no physical glue holding the relationship together, then there’s actually value-based glue that’s holding the relationship together.”
“I will accept the challenge,” Krieger says. “Maybe. Let’s see how it goes.”
Harmonie Krieger, one of the clients and cast members of the show, is challenged not to touch her dates for their first five dates. (Netflix)
Krieger is one of a number of non-Orthodox Jews who opted to be cast on “Jewish Matchmaking” after being unsatisfied with their own dating efforts. There’s Nakysha Osadchey, a Black Reform Jew who is desperate to get out of Kansas City, Missouri, where she hasn’t had luck finding a partner who understands her multicultural background. Living in Tel Aviv via Rome, Noah Del Monte, 24, is the youngest of the group, an Israeli army veteran and diplomat’s son who wants to transition from so-called “king of nightlife” to husband. In Los Angeles, Ori Basly, who works for his family’s wedding planning business, is looking for a blue-eyed, blonde-haired Israeli woman to fall in love with and bring home to his family.
The Jews cast on the show are all in different places in their lives, some grieving serious breakups or committed to specific religious identities, some picky about looks or hoping their partner will be OK with riding motorcycles. Some of them are looking for particular Jewish commitments to concepts such as tikkun olam, which means “repairing the world” and has come to represent a social justice imperative for many liberal Jews; others want to be sure they’re matched only with people who share their approaches to observing Shabbat and keeping kosher.
Nakysha Osadchey from Kansas City, Missouri is looking for someone who understands her multicultural background as a Black Reform Jew. (Netflix)
Pamela Rae Schuller, a comedian whose material frequently centers on living with Tourette syndrome, a nervous system disorder, demurred when Ben Shalom first offered to set her up about seven years ago, after attending one of Schuller’s shows in Los Angeles.
“I was picking career first. And there are a lot of complicated feelings around dating and disability,” said Schuller, who stands 4 feet 6 inches tall and frequently barks because of her syndrome. “And I never even thought about a matchmaker.”
But in 2022, Ben Shalom reached out again, this time with a possible match, and a catch — it would be for a new Netflix show she was set to host. This time, Schuller was ready.
“I have this life that I really, really love. I’m just at the point where I’ve realized I’d like someone to start to share that with,” she said. “I’m not going into this looking for anyone to complete me.”
Pamela Rae Schuller, a comedian whose material frequently deals with living with a disability, makes an appearance on “Jewish Matchmaking”. (Courtesy Pamela Rae Schuller)
Getting back into dating and then appearing on the show, which Schuller hasn’t seen yet, was both scary and exciting, she says
“I’m about to put myself out there. I think that’s scary for everyone, disability or otherwise,” Schuller said. “But I also want to see a world where we remember that every type of person dates.”
Plus, she added, “I love the idea that Netflix is willing to show diversity in Judaism, diversity in dating.”
Ensuring that she show accurately represented American Jews was the responsibility of Ronit Polin-Tarshish, an Orthodox filmmaker who worked as a consulting producer on “Jewish Matchmaking.” Her role was to ensure that Judaism was portrayed authentically. She also worked to help the Orthodox cast members feel more comfortable with their involvement on the show.
“Being Orthodox is who I am, and of course it infused every part of my work,” said Polin-Tarshish, who herself used a matchmaker to find her husband.
Multiple recent depictions of Orthodox Judaism in pop culture — including the Netflix reality show “My Unorthodox Life” — have drawn criticism from Orthodox voices for getting details of Orthodox observance wrong or seeming to encourage people to leave Orthodoxy. Both “My Unorthodox Life” and “Unorthodox,” based on the Deborah Feldman memoir of the same name, depict formerly Orthodox women who left arranged marriages they described as oppressive.
Meanwhile, other depictions of Jews have been panned for botching details. Those include a grieving widow (herself not Jewish, but mourning a Jewish husband) serving hamantaschen at the shiva in the 2014 film “This is Where I Leave You,” and a storyline on the Canadian show “Nurses” about an Orthodox man rejecting a bone graft from a non-Jew.
“So many times we watch shows as Jews and we kind of gnash our teeth, and are like, ‘They got it wrong! They got a basic thing wrong!’” said Polin-Tarshish, who previously produced the first-ever feature-length film by Orthodox women and worked on another reality show about arranged marriages across cultures. “That was my whole job, to make sure that they got it right. And thank God, baruch Hashem, I think we really did.”
Asked if her involvement on “Jewish Matchmaking” has received any pushback, Ben Shalom said she had gotten questions about how she could know whether the showrunners will accurately represent who she is.
Ben Shalom said she was confident in the production based on what she saw on “Indian Matchmaking,” but also because she believed she could pull off the delicate balance needed to represent her own community and make for great entertainment.
“You have to be smart about how you share who you are with the world, and you have to be authentic, and you have to be real, and you have to be true,” she said. “And you have to do that on reality TV with strangers that you’ve just met, and you have to do an interview. So only because I saw it done beautifully before, I knew that I had the ability to do that as well.”
Polin-Tarshish is excited for viewers at home to identify with the cast of “Jewish Matchmaking,” and to even get frustrated by some of the cast members’ actions. But most importantly, she says she is excited to have real, three-dimensional Jewish characters on screen.
“They’re real people in every sense of the word,” Polin-Tarshish said. “There are characters you’re going to love, there are characters you might even love to hate. But that’s life.”
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The post In ‘Jewish Matchmaking,’ a diverse set of Jews experience Orthodox dating practices appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
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Janet Mills Drops Out of Maine Senate Democratic Primary, Clearing Path for Anti-Israel Candidate Graham Platner
Democratic US Senate candidate Graham Platner speaks at a campaign town hall meeting in Ogunquit, Maine, US, Oct. 22, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Brian Snyder
Maine Gov. Janet Mills on Thursday announced that she is ending her campaign in the Democratic primary for US Senate, a move that effectively clears the path for progressive challenger Graham Platner to secure the nomination in a high-stakes race against incumbent Republican Sen. Susan Collins.
In a statement, Mills cited the financial demands of a competitive statewide campaign, acknowledging she lacked the resources to continue. Her withdrawal came after weeks of trailing Platner in grassroots fundraising and momentum, despite support from establishment Democrats.
“While I have the drive and passion, commitment and experience, and above all else — the fight — to continue on, I very simply do not have the one thing that political campaigns unfortunately require today: the financial resources,” Mills said.
“That is why today I have made the incredibly difficult decision to suspend my campaign for the United States Senate,” she continued.
The development represents a sharp ideological shift in the Democratic field. Mills, a two-term governor, had been viewed by party leaders as a pragmatic candidate with broad appeal and a traditionally strong stance on US alliances, including support for Israel. Mills’s candidacy failed to gain traction in the state, with observers pointing to a Democratic primary electorate that is both incensed and deeply desirous for a shakeup from the status quo.
Platner, in contrast to Mills, has built his campaign on an anti-establishment message and drawn increasing scrutiny in part for his rhetoric on the Middle East. Some of his past statements criticizing Israel have alarmed more centrist Democrats and foreign policy observers, who argue his framing downplays Israel’s security concerns and risks alienating key constituencies in a general election.
Platner has repeatedly accused Israel of “genocide” in Gaza and vowed to vote against further military assistance to the Jewish state. Earlier this month, Platner accused Israel of “exterminating” people in Gaza and refused to clarify his stance on whether Israel should remain a Jewish state. Most of his criticisms of Israel’s military conduct in Gaza omit any mention of the Hamas terrorist organization, framing Israel as an aggressor with intent of wiping out the Palestinian population.
Further, Platner came under scrutiny last year after it was revealed that the Democratic insurgent possesses a tattoo of a Totemkopf — a symbol historically used by Nazi military units. Though Platner has emphatically denied any knowledge of the tattoo’s connections to Nazism, skeptics have pointed out that the oyster farmer identifies as a military historian, raising serious doubts about his claims.
Concerns about Platner’s conduct and Totemkompf tattoo are already emerging as a potential liability in a race Democrats had hoped to make competitive. Collins, a moderate Republican with a long record of electoral success in Maine, has historically attracted independents and crossover voters, groups that could be wary of candidates perceived as ideologically extreme.
Mills’s exit also highlights a broader dynamic within the Democratic Party, as insurgent candidates in several primaries continue to gain traction over more traditional figures. While that energy has reshaped races across the country, it has also raised questions about general election viability in closely divided states.
Many observers have argued that Platner’s ascendance in the Democratic Party serves as another signal that the party is shifting further away from Israel and becoming more tolerant of antisemitism. Across the country, support for Israel has emerged as a litmus test within Democratic primary competitions, with candidates vowing to curtail support for Israel and being pressured to condemn the Jewish state as a perpetrator of “genocide.”
Despite Platner’s vulnerabilities and personal baggage, he has racked up a bevy of endorsements from Democratic power-players such as Rep. Ro Khanna (CA) and Sen. Elizabeth Warren (MA). On Thursday, the Democratic Party officially endorsed Platner as the nominee to take on Collins.
As of now, polling indicates a close race in the Maine general election, with several polls showing Platner with a narrow lead over Collins. However, the Republican National Committee (RNC) has not yet aired ads against Platner, and the Republicans are expected to weaponize Platner’s history of controversial commentary in the lead-up to Election Day in November.
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Analysis: As Democrats unite behind Platner, Schumer’s future as leader faces tests
National Democrats on Thursday moved swiftly to unite behind Graham Platner — a progressive candidate whose past Nazi-linked tattoo and sharp criticism of Israel have alarmed some Jewish groups — after he became the presumptive nominee for Maine’s Senate seat.
The move made political sense. Platner, a Marine veteran and oyster farmer, had already been leading in polls against Gov. Janet Mills, who dropped out of the race on Thursday, citing fundraising struggles. Once Platner became the de facto Democratic nominee against incumbent Republican Sen.Susan Collins, party unity was all but automatic.
But that unity comes with serious risks.
Joel Rubin, a Democratic commentator and foreign policy expert, called Platner’s candidacy for a much-desired seat a “nightmare scenario” for the party.
“For Jewish Democrats, wanting to defeat Collins, to have a candidate who makes them very uncomfortable on Jewish issues could potentially dampen support for him,” Rubin said in an interview. “Typically, Jewish Democrats are the most enthusiastic of democratic constituencies for Democratic candidates.”
Senate Democratic leader Chuck Schumer, who had recruited Mills to run, is focused on winning back the majority, and Maine is a must-win in the pursuit to flip at least four Republican seats. “After years of allowing Trump’s abuses of power, Senator Collins has never been more vulnerable and we will work with the presumptive Democratic nominee Graham Platner to defeat her,” Schumer said in a joint statement with Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand of New York, who heads the Democratic campaign arm.
Schumer navigates new tensions
Schumer could play a pivotal role in mobilizing national donors, including Jewish donors, to support the Platner campaign.
Nonetheless, Schumer, who has seen his popularity decline since he supported a Republican spending bill to avert a shutdown last year, may be helping build a majority that won’t back him, as his longtime support for Israel increasingly becomes a liability in a party where many voters object to the United States providing funds to the Jewish state.
Platner has aligned himself with a new guard of candidates who could emerge from competitive primaries ready to challenge Democratic leadership — as well as the longstanding Democratic consensus in support of Israel.
Abdul El-Sayed, a U.S. Senate candidate from Michigan rising in the polls, and Zach Wahls, a progressive candidate from Iowa, have both said they oppose Schumer as leader.
These insurgents could also alienate moderate and pro-Israel Jewish voters in closely contested races in the fall. Figures like Platner and El-Sayed have adopted language and positions that would have been politically risky — if not disqualifying — in earlier cycles. Now, those stances are survivable.
And even if they win their races in the general election and Schumer stays on as leader, his role is getting harder to maintain as the party’s base has shifted, especially amid the wars in Gaza and Iran.
For years, Schumer has cast himself as an institutional anchor on issues important to the Jewish community, including support for Israel. In a speech for Jewish audiences, he bragged about preserving Democratic unity on Israel aid. In 2024, he told the Forward that “having a majority leader who’s committed to Israel is vital for Israel’s relationship with the U.S.”
But shifting dynamics suggest the balance may be slipping.
Earlier this month, 40 Senate Democrats voted to block $295 million for the transfer of bulldozers — used by the Israeli military to demolish homes in the West Bank and Gaza — and 36 of them also supported a measure to block the sale of 1,000-pound bombs to the Jewish state. Those counts shattered a previous high of 27 Democrats who backed a similar pair of resolutions last year.
Schumer was in the minority of his party on both votes.
If a future roster of Democratic senators includes more legislators elected on platforms critical of Israel and skeptical of party leadership, Schumer’s ability to manage internal divisions could be tested in ways it hasn’t been before. Schumer came under fire from progressives in February after telling a Jewish group that he will keep “fighting” for military assistance to Israel.
In a recent interview with Politico, Sanders asserted he has now become the leader for Senate Democrats on Israel policy. “I mean, we got 40 votes, and Schumer got seven,” he said. “We have more support for our position than Chuck has for his.”
What Jewish Democrats are watching
For many Jewish voters, Platner’s rise and the party’s embrace of him are another signal of changes many are finding hard to swallow.
Platner faced backlash last year after acknowledging that a black skull-and-crossbones tattoo on his chest resembled a Nazi symbol. He has since covered it up. In past Reddit posts, Platner made incendiary comments, including in defending a man with a Nazi SS lightning bolt tattoo who impersonated a federal officer at a Black Lives Matter protest in Las Vegas in 2020.
Last month, Platner accused Israel of committing genocide in Gaza and suggested the U.S. should cut off all aid to Israel.
Platner has done some outreach to the Jewish community across Maine. Recently, his campaign hosted a Passover Seder in Bath, Maine with some 50 community members, during which he discussed rising antisemitism. It was co-hosted with Steven Koltai, the state chair of the progressive Jewish political fundraising group J Street, who is a key Platner supporter.
For now, Democrats have little choice but to unite behind the presumptive nominee. But if candidates like Platner help deliver a majority, the real test will be holding it together.
The post Analysis: As Democrats unite behind Platner, Schumer’s future as leader faces tests appeared first on The Forward.
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Hamas Exploits Gaza Ceasefire to Tighten Civilian Control, Rebuild Military Power as Second Phase Talks Stall
Palestinians displaced during the two-year Israel-Hamas war shelter at a tent camp in Khan Younis in the southern Gaza Strip, Feb. 10, 2026. Photo: REUTERS/Ramadan Abed
As the second phase of the Gaza ceasefire agreement remains stalled, Israeli officials warn that the Palestinian terrorist group Hamas is quietly exploiting the pause in fighting to tighten its control over civilian life while simultaneously rebuilding its military capabilities behind the scenes.
Under the leadership of military wing commander and de facto Gaza ruler Izz ad-Din al-Haddad, Hamas is reinforcing its authority across the enclave, further undermining already fragile efforts to advance the truce.
Al-Haddad is said to be operating three parallel systems intended to secure the terrorist group’s survival and restore its military capabilities, according to a report by the Israeli news outlet Walla, which cited security sources.
The first line of effort seems to focus on reestablishing Hamas’s civilian governance and restoring its authority across the war-torn enclave, with its presence still visibly entrenched through checkpoints, strict regulation of goods, and the takeover of key civilian institutions, including hospitals.
Under the ceasefire, the Israeli military currently controls 53 percent of Gaza, while Hamas remains entrenched in the nearly half of Gazan territory it still controls, where the vast majority of the population lives.
The Palestinian terrorist group has also been reactivating internal security mechanisms to enforce day-to-day order while carrying out extensive intelligence operations aimed at identifying alleged collaborators with Israel and any opposition.
Hamas’s second line of effort has been focused on a violent internal campaign against armed militias and local gangs, particularly in southern Gaza, as the group seeks to reassert control and shore up its weakened position by targeting Palestinians it labels as “lawbreakers and collaborators with Israel.”
With its security control tightening, Hamas’s brutal crackdown has escalated, sparking widespread clashes and violence as the group seeks to seize weapons and eliminate any opposition.
A third line of effort reportedly centers on rebuilding military capabilities, including recruiting new operatives, conducting training both in the field and at command sites, restoring intelligence and surveillance systems, and rebuilding underground infrastructure and weapons stockpiles.
Israeli officials estimate that Hamas’s military wing, the al-Qassam Brigades, is rebuilding its forces, with its ranks now totaling roughly 27,000 members.
Despite Israeli intelligence assessments that Hamas’s smuggling capabilities have been significantly degraded, the group is reportedly seeking to rebuild its arsenal through local means by recovering Israeli Air Force munitions remnants and converting them into improvised explosive devices.
The Islamist group is also attempting to revive rocket and mortar production using makeshift materials, while reorganizing stockpiles buried under rubble or left largely intact.
Israeli officials have repeatedly warned that Hamas’s ongoing rebuilding efforts are allowing the group to retain control over much of the war-torn enclave and steadily sustain its influence despite over two years of military conflict.
According to a report by the Arabic newspaper Asharq Al-Awsat, a new draft proposal has been presented to Israel and Hamas, with talks potentially beginning this week on moving forward with the second phase of US President Donald Trump’s Gaza peace plan.
Earlier this year, the US-backed plan to end the war in Gaza hit major roadblocks after proposals surfaced that would allow Hamas to retain some small arms.
Israel has previously warned that the Islamist group must fully disarm for the second phase of the ceasefire to move forward, pointing to tens of thousands of rifles and an active network of underground tunnels still under the terrorist group’s control.
If Hamas does not give up its weapons, Israeli officials have vowed not to withdraw troops from Gaza any further or approve any rebuilding efforts, effectively stalling the ceasefire agreement.
The new draft allegedly proposes creating an “Implementation Verification Committee,” to be formed under Nickolay Mladenov, the high representative for Gaza on Trump’s Board of Peace, bringing together guarantor states, the International Stabilization Force, and a Peace Council to ensure compliance by all parties.
Under this proposed draft, the Peace Council would be granted authority over Gaza’s governance, reconstruction, and development until a reformed Palestinian Authority is able to resume its responsibilities.
The document also reportedly states that Hamas and other extremist Palestinian factions would have no role in governing the Gaza Strip, and that governance would be based on “one authority, one law, and one weapon,” as all armed groups would cease military activity and a phased disarmament process would transfer weapons to the incoming body.
By this framework, Israel’s withdrawal would take place in stages under an agreed timetable, contingent on verifiable progress in the process of disarmament.