If you are in New York City and struggling with suicidal thoughts, you can call 1-888-NYC-WELL for free and confidential crisis counseling. You can also dial the 24/7 National Suicide Prevention hotline at 988 or go to SuicidePreventionLifeline.org.
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Yeshiva University is left in mourning after a beloved gay alum dies by suicide
(New York Jewish Week) — Before eulogizing their friend on Thursday night, Beth Weiss draped a rainbow flag with a Jewish star over the podium.
It was a potent symbol of the twin identities that Weiss and others who knew Herschel Siegel said he had struggled to reconcile, particularly as a student and 2021 graduate of Yeshiva University. Siegel died by suicide Friday in Atlanta, where he grew up and had been living.
Weiss said during the eulogy they recalled having “a conversation with a gay friend about what it felt like to be queer in the Orthodox world” for the first time with Siegel, a classmate at Y.U., the Modern Orthodox flagship in uptown Manhattan.
“I can’t tell you how invaluable conversations and connections like that are,” Weiss said. “We talked about our dreams for the future, but also the reality of how our future might look because of our queerness.”
Weiss’ comments, delivered at a memorial held on the Y.U. campus and organized by some of Siegel’s friends from college, reflect a narrative solidifying around Siegel’s death. Many believe — based on their conversations with Siegel, his social media posts and their own experiences — that Siegel had considered that there may have been no place for him as a gay man in the Orthodox community where he grew up and attended college.
Even as some in Siegel’s community have downplayed the focus on his sexuality following his death, friends say his suicide should be a wakeup call at a time when Yeshiva University is deeply divided over whether and how to include LGBTQ students. In recent years, the school has fought not to have to recognize an LGBTQ student group, even petitioning the Supreme Court for relief. A trans woman was also told she could no longer pray in a synagogue affiliated with the school.
Weiss told the New York Jewish Week that there are many “Orthodox queer people who are possibly suffering, who feel like they are alone, and who feel like they don’t have a future,” adding, “I know that Herschel felt that way at points in his life because he told me.”
Experts caution that it is a mistake to attribute suicides to single causes. Still, there is no question that LGBTQ youth are at increased risk, particularly when they are not accepted in their communities. According to a 2023 survey by the Trevor Project, a nonprofit focused on suicide prevention in the LGBTQ community, 41% of LGBTQ young people seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year.
Siegel made his struggle transparent. In an Instagram post from March that has circulated widely after his death, he wrote about how the word “abomination” in a Torah portion brought up trauma for him as a gay man within the Orthodox community.
“According to that trauma, my very EXISTENCE as a gay, Jewish, Male was an abomination,” Siegal wrote. “And even decades later, that fear-based thought pattern erupted into my consciousness, at the most unexpected of times.”
He then asked, “Do we ever REALLY heal from the deeply traumatic memories within us? Or is it rather a Journey, like many other emotions, and then we come to realize that one day we are at ease while riding ‘the trauma-coaster’?”
Siegel ended the post on a positive note, sharing gratitude for anyone who “has ever experienced a profoundly traumatizing event within your lives. … The fact that we made it this far is something to be proud of in and of itself!”
He died a month later, on the eve of the Shabbat when the weekly Torah portion includes the Jewish legal prohibition on homosexual intercourse, calling it an “abomination.”
“I think about the bravery, the heroism, the strength of this kid,” said Mordechai Levovitz, a therapist and the clinical director of Jewish Queer Youth, an organization that seeks to support and empower Jewish LGBTQ teens, with a focus on the Orthodox community. “I think any person at all willing to endure a community in a religion that is very cruel to him — and yet sees the value because there is also still value — is someone that I think we can look up to, and that we can learn from, and that we can be inspired by.”
He added, “But also, we can admit and witness and bear the fact that it is because of the community that we created that this kid could not find a future for himself and thought that it would perhaps be better off if he was not here, or if he did not exist.”
Not everyone who has commented on Siegel’s death is connecting it with his sexuality. Rabbi Ilan D. Feldman of Beth Jacob Atlanta, Siegel’s synagogue, wrote an email to the congregation saying that “our thoughts and tefillos [prayers] go out to the Siegel family, whose agony can never be fully fathomed, and who will be embraced and supported by us, their community.” Siegel is survived by his parents and five siblings.
Feldman presided over a funeral on Sunday that people who were present said was attended by about 200 people, with more than 450 tuning in on Zoom. Levovitz said that at the funeral, the rabbi referred to Siegel as being “mentally ill.” Mental illness is considered the strongest predictor of suicide.
Feldman told the New York Jewish Week over the phone that “even by reducing this story to a one-dimensional story of a guy who was gay, who committed suicide, we’re actually doing a disservice to gay people.” He also said Siegel’s family is distressed by the narrative, which they believe is untrue.
“The storyline of this particular case is an openly gay person who had wonderful relationships with the entire Orthodox community, including haredi Orthodox leaders,” Feldman said. “And now we’re going take this guy after his death, during his shiva while his family is grieving, and start talking about [how] gays are marginalized and whether this drove him to suicide, when this is the one case where an Orthodox community embraced a gay person with love and with no exceptions.”
But he acknowledged that there is “a big difference between pressures from the Jewish community and pressures from Jewish tradition,” which under Orthodox interpretations does not permit homosexuality.
“If he ever felt pressure, it was relieved by the love that he received in the community, but the pressure may have been there because Jewish tradition is inconsistent with gay activity,” Feldman said.
A source in the Atlanta community who said he had known Siegel since Siegel was a child said Siegel’s death comes on the heels of another suicide in the Atlanta Orthodox community, also of a young person who identified as a member of the LGBTQ community.
“There is a cloud of sadness. People just feel confused and lost. This is the second time in six months,” the source said. “It’s just resonating very hard for people. Young people taking their lives, it’s not supposed to be something that is normal and is regularly happening.”
Hundreds of people attended the funeral for Herschel Siegel last weekend in Atlanta. (Courtesy)
Chaim Nissel, a dean at Yeshiva University who was an associate provost during Siegel’s tenure as a student, spoke at the Thursday night gathering and said he had known Siegel well, and even had the student visit his home. (Nissel was originally named in the lawsuit by the YU Pride Alliance against the university but was dropped after Y.U. argued that he did not have authority over whether the LGBTQ student club was approved.)
“He struggled to reconcile his identity and love of Torah,” Nissel said. “He died from mental illness.”
Yeshiva University had previously released a statement about Siegel’s death.
“We are deeply saddened by the passing of Herschel Siegel, a member of the Yeshiva University family,” the statement said. “We express our deepest condolences to his family. May his memory be a blessing.”
Siegel’s family did not respond to a request for comment. People close to the family said they were too distraught to speak to the press. The source from Atlanta who knew Siegel since he was a child said the family was “angry for the way that this is being spun,” suggesting that Siegel’s sexuality should not be the only focus.
“I do resent anyone that is trying to make this about him being gay,” the source said. “It’s the chicken or the egg situation. Did being gay in the Orthodox community make his depression more triggering, or was it that he was depressed, and felt alone, which made being gay so much harder?”
Even his closest friends say it’s impossible to untangle those forces.
“Herschel struggled with mental illness and struggled with accepting himself as a gay Orthodox man,” said Emily Ornelas, a friend who was close to Siegel when he was at Y.U.
“That’s a reality,” Orneles said. “Gay people in any organized religion struggle with that. But I do wholeheartedly believe that by the end of his life, he had come to terms with and accepted himself and was able to love himself for who he was in whatever capacity he could. I feel that is true.”
Ornelas says she is choosing to remember the many bright spots in her friend’s life, rather than focus solely on trying to identify reasons for his death. She recalled the way he connected with children when the two staffed a Passover retreat, as well as his energy in his many theater performances at Y.U., the way his smile lit up a room.
“I remember that his hugs were absolutely crushing,” Ornelas said. “I think he could have cracked my ribs easily. I remember that when he smiled, he smiled literally with every single one of his teeth. You could probably count them. I can hear his voice. He has a very particular affect to the way he spoke, and I think it was like a tiny bit of a Southern drawl. He was just like a really big part of my life — and all of our lives — for a very long time.”
At the memorial service, Weiss exhorted others who might feel tormented about being gay in an Orthodox community to hold on, despite their pain.
“You are not alone,” they said, holding back tears. “You have a future, and you have people who love and see you fully. You have people who celebrate all the wonderful, beautiful parts of you. And if it feels like you don’t have those people yet, we are here waiting for you with open hearts.”
They then shifted to a “a message to everyone else here with us tonight” — those who identify as allies, and those who are just deeply sad about their friend’s tragic death.
“Be like Herschel,” Weiss said. “Be like Herschel and embrace and love each of us with enthusiasm and with joy. Be like Herschel and see us as the full, valid and nuanced human beings that we are. Be like Herschel, and support us unconditionally. Be like Herschel so that we can continue to be here even though Herschel can’t. And be like Herschel, so that this never ever happens again.”
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The post Yeshiva University is left in mourning after a beloved gay alum dies by suicide appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
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New young (and not so young) talent added to list of Jewish high achievers at most recent Winnipeg Music Festival
By MYRON LOVE The most recent (107th annual) Winnipeg Music Festival – which takes place annually in March – produced another group of Jewish musical stars – including several who were new to the competition. Joining repeat high achievers – such as Yale Rayburn-Vander Hout, Gregory Hyman, Alex Schaeffer, Juliet Eskin and Noah Kravetsky – this year the winner’s circle also included: Lyla Chisick, Lotan Berenstein, Benji Greenberg and Shani Groisman..
While the overwhelming majority of the music festival entrants are pre-teens and teenagers, Greenberg, who is 38, and Groisman – who recently celebrated her 20th birthday – are exceptions to that pattern.
Shani, who finished first in the PIANO SOLO, LATE ROMANTIC COMPOSERS, GRADE/LEVEL 10 category – is an accomplished pianist, singer, and music teacher, who has participated in numerous international and local festivals and piano competitions. As a teacher, she teaches students ranging from beginners to Level 5.
The daughter of Marina and Boris Groisman arrived in Winnipeg from Israel 10 years ago. Shani says that she began taking piano lessons when she was 5.
“This competition was something new for me,” observes the Grant Park High School graduate. . “I entered for the challenge. David Moroz, my teacher at the (University of Manitoba’s) Desautels School of Music was very supportive. I am looking forward to next year’s festival.”
Benji Greenberg reports that it was her singing teacher, Geneva Halverson, who encouraged her to enter the competition, A lawyer by training, who currently works as a children’s advocate for Manitoba Advocate for children and youth, Benji notes that while she has always enjoyed singing and has appeared over the years in musical productions in high school and shows staged by the Manitoba Bar Association, it was only about a year ago that she decided to take singing lessons “to learn to sing properly”.
The daughter of Debbie and Harley Greenberg, Benji competed in two categories – Musical Theatre 1965 to 2000, and Musical Theatre pre-1965 – for singers 16 and over. In both categories, she was runner-up to Yale Rayburn Vander Hout, a veteran of four years now in the competition.
“I loved being on stage,” Benji says. “I am looking forward to the next year’s competition.”
Yale Rayburn-Vander Hout continues to build on his accomplishments at the yearly festival. Last year, his third year in the competition, the 18-year-old son of Samantha and Peter was awarded the prestigious Gilbert and Sullivan Society Trophy – awarded for the most outstanding performance in a competition of winners of Gilbert & Sullivan classes.
A former Gray Academy student, he graduated from the University of Winnipeg Collegiate, and is currently in his first year at the Desautels Faculty of Music, where he is studying under the guidance df Donna Fletcher, the co-founder of Dry Cold Productions.
Yale – who has already graced our local stages, notes that he is hoping to pursue a career in musical theatre.
Gregory Hyman is a multi-faceted artist who can do it all. The 17-year-old son of Hartley and Rishona Hyman is a singer/songwriter/musician (guitar) who records and performs under the stage name, GMH. His versatility shone through once again in his seventh Music Festival, in which he registered three first-place finishes – once for guitar (20th and 21st century composers), and twice for vocals (popular and contemporary music and TV and movie music).
The St. John’s-Ravenscourt student has been busy on stage the past couple of months – headlining his own show at Sidestage on Osborne on March 2 and opening for musician/singer/’songwriter Goody Grace at the Park Theatre on March 16. His next solo performance was scheduled for the Rec Room on Friday, May 9.
Gregory has put out three albums – which readers can check out on any of the music streaming platforms as well as his own Instagram page (thegmh). He also continues to host his own podcast – “Talk and Rock with GMH”- now in its fifth season – in which he interviews various people in the music business across Canada.
Fifteen-year-old Alex Schaeffer registered one first place finish this year in the Canadian musicals 16 and under category. For the son of Marc Schaeffer and Kae Sasake, this was his fourth year competing in the festival
Both Alex and his older sister, Hannah (both Grant Park students), continue their nascent careers on stage. Alex made his big stage debut last year as one of the Von Trapp children in MTC’s production of “The Sound of Music” – followed by an appearance in the Manitoba Opera production of Carmen as a member of the children’s chorus.
Both Hannah and Alex recently performed in Grant Park High School’s production of A Chorus Line (Hannah played Cassie, and Alex played Paul), and Meraki Theatre’s production of Twelfth Night (Hannah played Malvolio, Alex played Antonio).
This summer Hannah and Alex will be performing in three different shows with Meraki Theatre and Rem Lezar Theatre at the Winnipeg Fringe Festival.
In the fall. Hannah will be off to to Oakville. Ontario to attend Sheridan College where she will be studying Musical Theatre Performance.
Juliet Eskin, 15, also stood out. In this her fourth go-round at the festival, the daughter of the musically talented Kelly Robinon and Josh Eskin took home three golds in: the viola solo, level 7 categories; Romantic composer, Baroque and Concerto; and was recommended by the adjudicator to compete for the Swedish Musical Club Trophy.
Juliet originally took up violin – adding the viola a couple of years ago. Outside of the music festival, she is the violist in the Assiniboine String Quartet and just finished performing in Evil Dead the Musical at MTYP, as well as singing the role of Sheila in A Chorus Line.
Rounding out this year’s returning Jewish WMF star was pianist Nate Kravetsky. playing piano.
Twelve-year-old Nate and older brother Noah, 15, the sons of Dr. Azriel Kravetsky and Dr. Carrie Palatnick, both attend Gray Academy – and have been taking piano lessons from Erica Schultz since they were five years old. Last year, Nate won gold in three classes: Baroque, Sonatina and Canadian Composer. In this year’s music festival, he completed in two classes: sonatina and own choice. He won gold in both classes.
His favourite thing about learning piano, Nate says, is getting to express himself and play a contemporary piece from a movie or video game when the festival is over.
This year’s music festival was the first for 11-year-old songstress Lyla Chisick – and the daughter of Daniel and Baillee Chisick acquitted herself quite well. She competed in five categories and achieved gold in three: solo performances in Own Choice; Musicals, 2965 to 1999; and 20th and 21st century English Art Song.
Lyla reports that she began taking voice lessons from Jessica Kos-Whicher abougt 18 months ago. “I really love singing,” she says. “It is a great activity.
“I am looking forward to next year’s festival.”
Lyla, Gregory and Yale were also recommend for the Provincials which will be held the weekend of May 24-26. Yale was recommended in the musical theatre category, while Gregory and Lyla were recommended in the TV and Movie category. Gregory was also recommended in the Popular Contemporary category, while Lyla was further recommended in the Vocal Primary category.
We look forward to the continued musical success off Yale, Gregory, Shani, Benji, Alex, Nate, Juliet and Lyla and what new talent may be unveiled at next year’s Winnipeg Music festival.
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Women Wage Peace to hold Toronto event in memory of Vivian Silver
By BERNIE BELLAN (Posted MAY 11) In December 2023 we reported on a new fund that was being established in the name of the late Vivian Silver, who was a victim of the Hamas massacre on October 7, 2023.
The announcement of that fund came at a memorial event that was held here in Winnipeg on December 14, 2023. Among those in attendance were Vivian’s two sons: Yonatan and Chen Zeigen.
Vivian Silver was also one of the founders of “Women Wage Peace,” which has recently opened a Winnipeg chapter. Here is how Vivian’s role is described in information provided by Women Wage Peace: “A Canadian-born peace activist, Vivian dedicated her life to pursuing gender equality and fostering dialogue and partnership between Israelis and Palestinian communities. In 2014 she co-founded Women Wage Peace — Israel’s largest grassroots peace movement with recently developed chapters in Australia, Europe, South America, and here in Canada.”
At that December 14, 2023 event in Winnipeg, both of Vivian’s sons spoke of their mother. Here are some excerpts from their remarks:
Chen Zeigen said: We have seen our mother transformed into a symbol, but for us she will always remain a loving mother and grandmother.”
Chen noted that no matter what his mother was doing to help others, family was always important to her. “We’ll keep remembering her for the person she was, in all of her political activities and achievements.… They were part of it. But to me they were kind of secondary,” Chen said.
“She would march for her causes at noon and tuck us into bed at night,” he said. “She would orchestrate international peace rallies during the week and bake elaborate cakes for her grandchildren’s birthdays.”
“Winnipeg was a home away from home for our mother,” he added. “We would come here summers to be with our bobe and zaide” (the late Roslyn and Meyer Silver).
“To us, her sons, it didn’t matter what path we chose in life so long as it was meaningful to us. No matter what we did, she always had a hug for us.”
Yonatan Zeigen added: “It is said that the older you get the harder it is to make meaningful friends. That was not the case with our mother….She served as an unending source of energy and enthusiasm…She saw a mission in remaining involved in kibbutz responsibility.
“Her memory reminds us to keep hoping for a peaceful future,” Yonatan said.
In her name, he added, he and his brother were establishing a fund to recognize those working towards a shared society between Jews and Arabss.The Vivian Silver Memorial Fund. The proceeds will go towards recipients in Israel selected by her sons that exemplify her activism.
On Wednesday, June 4 in Toronto, Women Wage Peace Canada East, sponsored by the New Israel Fund Canada, will be presenting “In her Voice – the Vivian Silver Legacy Event.” The event will be raising funds for the Vivian Silver Impact Award.
We spoke with one of the organizers of the event, Lynne Mitchell, who grew up in Winnipeg with Vivian, having attended Peretz School with her and later, when they were both teens, were involved as president (Vivian) and vice president of Red River Region BBYO.
Lynne was at that December 2023 memorial event in Winnipeg and she recalls discussing – after the event, with Chen and Yonatan, what might be the most appropriate way they could honour Vivian’s legacy
Eventually, as Lynne describes it, the people organizing the Toronto event are sort of a “hodge podge…of Women Wage Peace Canada East, my family, and some grass roots people who wanted to be involved in it, including a Palestinian women – who remembers Vivian.”
“Our lead sponsor is the New Israel Fund of Canada,” Lynne explained, “because Vivian was on their board years ago and their executive director (whose name is Ben Murane) was captivated by her message also.”
“In Her Voice” will feature a variety of different media, including “music and art to create opportunities for reflection, inspiration, and hope.”
There will also be presentations by Vivian’s sons and a number of other speakers, including from a Palestinian woman who worked with Vivian in Israel for many years in NISPED-AJEEC Negev Institute for Peace and Economic Development)
The first recipients of the Vivian Silver Impact Award will also speak on video – one a Palestinian and the other an Israeli Jew.
Lynne Mitchell added that there are two things that the organizers of the event are hoping attendees will take from the event: “What makes a peacemaker and what can I do?”
One of the speakers,, recently arrived from Ramallah, has also long been dedicated to finding a peaceful path forward between Palestinian and Jewish Israelis. Lynne said that he was quite “astonished at how polarized our respective societies are here in Toronto.”
I asked her whether she thought it was any different in any other city and she admitted that it isn’t
But, just to put a more hopeful tinge to the ongoing tension between Canadian Jews and Palestinians, Lynne mentioned something else that is reflective of the willingness of at least some members of both communities to engage in a more meaningful dialogue.
“There are going to be two MCs for the evening,” Lynne noted. One will be her daughter, while the other will be a Palestinian Canadian woman .
There will be at least two members of the Winnipeg chapter of Women Wage Peace coming from Winnipeg to the event: Chana Thau and Esther Blum. In addition, Vivian’s sister Rachelle, along with her husband and one of her grandsons will be coming, along with Vivian’s brother Neil (who lives in Calgary), as well as many cousins of Vivian’s who live in Toronto.
Toward the end of my conversation with Lynne I referred to the terrible rift that had developed within our own Winnipeg Jewish community over BB Camp and said that there are many who have said we should remain silent about everything that’s gone on – to which Lynne responded: “No, we need to learn from it and not condemn each other and silence each other. That was Vivian’s perspective.”
If you are interested in attending or “donating to In Her Voice,” tickets can be purchased online at nifcan.org/inhervoice.
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JACQUELINE HOCHMAN JUNE 7, 1938 – APRIL 1, 2025
Jacqueline “Jackie” Hochman passed away peacefully on April 1, 2025 at the Simkin Centre in Winnipeg at the age of 86.
Jackie was born on June 7, 1938. She is predeceased by her husband Sam, daughter Robyn, parents Samuel and Bertha “Birdie” Niznick, and brother Allyn.
Jackie will be deeply missed by her remaining children, Marshall and Shawn (Karen), her grandchildren, Hannah, Daniel (Jodi), and Freya (and her partner, Spencer), and her great-granddaughter, Haisley.
Her children and grandchildren were her world. Jackie will be remembered for her fierce love and unwavering devotion to family. Sam, her husband of 65 years, loved her with every fibre of his being. May her memory be a blessing. In lieu of flowers, the family kindly requests that donations be made to the Saul and Claribel Simkin Centre.
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