If you are in New York City and struggling with suicidal thoughts, you can call 1-888-NYC-WELL for free and confidential crisis counseling. You can also dial the 24/7 National Suicide Prevention hotline at 988 or go to SuicidePreventionLifeline.org.
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Yeshiva University is left in mourning after a beloved gay alum dies by suicide
(New York Jewish Week) — Before eulogizing their friend on Thursday night, Beth Weiss draped a rainbow flag with a Jewish star over the podium.
It was a potent symbol of the twin identities that Weiss and others who knew Herschel Siegel said he had struggled to reconcile, particularly as a student and 2021 graduate of Yeshiva University. Siegel died by suicide Friday in Atlanta, where he grew up and had been living.
Weiss said during the eulogy they recalled having “a conversation with a gay friend about what it felt like to be queer in the Orthodox world” for the first time with Siegel, a classmate at Y.U., the Modern Orthodox flagship in uptown Manhattan.
“I can’t tell you how invaluable conversations and connections like that are,” Weiss said. “We talked about our dreams for the future, but also the reality of how our future might look because of our queerness.”
Weiss’ comments, delivered at a memorial held on the Y.U. campus and organized by some of Siegel’s friends from college, reflect a narrative solidifying around Siegel’s death. Many believe — based on their conversations with Siegel, his social media posts and their own experiences — that Siegel had considered that there may have been no place for him as a gay man in the Orthodox community where he grew up and attended college.
Even as some in Siegel’s community have downplayed the focus on his sexuality following his death, friends say his suicide should be a wakeup call at a time when Yeshiva University is deeply divided over whether and how to include LGBTQ students. In recent years, the school has fought not to have to recognize an LGBTQ student group, even petitioning the Supreme Court for relief. A trans woman was also told she could no longer pray in a synagogue affiliated with the school.
Weiss told the New York Jewish Week that there are many “Orthodox queer people who are possibly suffering, who feel like they are alone, and who feel like they don’t have a future,” adding, “I know that Herschel felt that way at points in his life because he told me.”
Experts caution that it is a mistake to attribute suicides to single causes. Still, there is no question that LGBTQ youth are at increased risk, particularly when they are not accepted in their communities. According to a 2023 survey by the Trevor Project, a nonprofit focused on suicide prevention in the LGBTQ community, 41% of LGBTQ young people seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year.
Siegel made his struggle transparent. In an Instagram post from March that has circulated widely after his death, he wrote about how the word “abomination” in a Torah portion brought up trauma for him as a gay man within the Orthodox community.
“According to that trauma, my very EXISTENCE as a gay, Jewish, Male was an abomination,” Siegal wrote. “And even decades later, that fear-based thought pattern erupted into my consciousness, at the most unexpected of times.”
He then asked, “Do we ever REALLY heal from the deeply traumatic memories within us? Or is it rather a Journey, like many other emotions, and then we come to realize that one day we are at ease while riding ‘the trauma-coaster’?”
Siegel ended the post on a positive note, sharing gratitude for anyone who “has ever experienced a profoundly traumatizing event within your lives. … The fact that we made it this far is something to be proud of in and of itself!”
He died a month later, on the eve of the Shabbat when the weekly Torah portion includes the Jewish legal prohibition on homosexual intercourse, calling it an “abomination.”
“I think about the bravery, the heroism, the strength of this kid,” said Mordechai Levovitz, a therapist and the clinical director of Jewish Queer Youth, an organization that seeks to support and empower Jewish LGBTQ teens, with a focus on the Orthodox community. “I think any person at all willing to endure a community in a religion that is very cruel to him — and yet sees the value because there is also still value — is someone that I think we can look up to, and that we can learn from, and that we can be inspired by.”
He added, “But also, we can admit and witness and bear the fact that it is because of the community that we created that this kid could not find a future for himself and thought that it would perhaps be better off if he was not here, or if he did not exist.”
Not everyone who has commented on Siegel’s death is connecting it with his sexuality. Rabbi Ilan D. Feldman of Beth Jacob Atlanta, Siegel’s synagogue, wrote an email to the congregation saying that “our thoughts and tefillos [prayers] go out to the Siegel family, whose agony can never be fully fathomed, and who will be embraced and supported by us, their community.” Siegel is survived by his parents and five siblings.
Feldman presided over a funeral on Sunday that people who were present said was attended by about 200 people, with more than 450 tuning in on Zoom. Levovitz said that at the funeral, the rabbi referred to Siegel as being “mentally ill.” Mental illness is considered the strongest predictor of suicide.
Feldman told the New York Jewish Week over the phone that “even by reducing this story to a one-dimensional story of a guy who was gay, who committed suicide, we’re actually doing a disservice to gay people.” He also said Siegel’s family is distressed by the narrative, which they believe is untrue.
“The storyline of this particular case is an openly gay person who had wonderful relationships with the entire Orthodox community, including haredi Orthodox leaders,” Feldman said. “And now we’re going take this guy after his death, during his shiva while his family is grieving, and start talking about [how] gays are marginalized and whether this drove him to suicide, when this is the one case where an Orthodox community embraced a gay person with love and with no exceptions.”
But he acknowledged that there is “a big difference between pressures from the Jewish community and pressures from Jewish tradition,” which under Orthodox interpretations does not permit homosexuality.
“If he ever felt pressure, it was relieved by the love that he received in the community, but the pressure may have been there because Jewish tradition is inconsistent with gay activity,” Feldman said.
A source in the Atlanta community who said he had known Siegel since Siegel was a child said Siegel’s death comes on the heels of another suicide in the Atlanta Orthodox community, also of a young person who identified as a member of the LGBTQ community.
“There is a cloud of sadness. People just feel confused and lost. This is the second time in six months,” the source said. “It’s just resonating very hard for people. Young people taking their lives, it’s not supposed to be something that is normal and is regularly happening.”
Hundreds of people attended the funeral for Herschel Siegel last weekend in Atlanta. (Courtesy)
Chaim Nissel, a dean at Yeshiva University who was an associate provost during Siegel’s tenure as a student, spoke at the Thursday night gathering and said he had known Siegel well, and even had the student visit his home. (Nissel was originally named in the lawsuit by the YU Pride Alliance against the university but was dropped after Y.U. argued that he did not have authority over whether the LGBTQ student club was approved.)
“He struggled to reconcile his identity and love of Torah,” Nissel said. “He died from mental illness.”
Yeshiva University had previously released a statement about Siegel’s death.
“We are deeply saddened by the passing of Herschel Siegel, a member of the Yeshiva University family,” the statement said. “We express our deepest condolences to his family. May his memory be a blessing.”
Siegel’s family did not respond to a request for comment. People close to the family said they were too distraught to speak to the press. The source from Atlanta who knew Siegel since he was a child said the family was “angry for the way that this is being spun,” suggesting that Siegel’s sexuality should not be the only focus.
“I do resent anyone that is trying to make this about him being gay,” the source said. “It’s the chicken or the egg situation. Did being gay in the Orthodox community make his depression more triggering, or was it that he was depressed, and felt alone, which made being gay so much harder?”
Even his closest friends say it’s impossible to untangle those forces.
“Herschel struggled with mental illness and struggled with accepting himself as a gay Orthodox man,” said Emily Ornelas, a friend who was close to Siegel when he was at Y.U.
“That’s a reality,” Orneles said. “Gay people in any organized religion struggle with that. But I do wholeheartedly believe that by the end of his life, he had come to terms with and accepted himself and was able to love himself for who he was in whatever capacity he could. I feel that is true.”
Ornelas says she is choosing to remember the many bright spots in her friend’s life, rather than focus solely on trying to identify reasons for his death. She recalled the way he connected with children when the two staffed a Passover retreat, as well as his energy in his many theater performances at Y.U., the way his smile lit up a room.
“I remember that his hugs were absolutely crushing,” Ornelas said. “I think he could have cracked my ribs easily. I remember that when he smiled, he smiled literally with every single one of his teeth. You could probably count them. I can hear his voice. He has a very particular affect to the way he spoke, and I think it was like a tiny bit of a Southern drawl. He was just like a really big part of my life — and all of our lives — for a very long time.”
At the memorial service, Weiss exhorted others who might feel tormented about being gay in an Orthodox community to hold on, despite their pain.
“You are not alone,” they said, holding back tears. “You have a future, and you have people who love and see you fully. You have people who celebrate all the wonderful, beautiful parts of you. And if it feels like you don’t have those people yet, we are here waiting for you with open hearts.”
They then shifted to a “a message to everyone else here with us tonight” — those who identify as allies, and those who are just deeply sad about their friend’s tragic death.
“Be like Herschel,” Weiss said. “Be like Herschel and embrace and love each of us with enthusiasm and with joy. Be like Herschel and see us as the full, valid and nuanced human beings that we are. Be like Herschel, and support us unconditionally. Be like Herschel so that we can continue to be here even though Herschel can’t. And be like Herschel, so that this never ever happens again.”
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The post Yeshiva University is left in mourning after a beloved gay alum dies by suicide appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
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The PA Just Made More ‘Pay-for-Slay’ Payments; Here’s How the US and EU Could Stop It
The opening of a hall that the Palestinian Authority named for a terrorist who killed 125 people. Photo: Palestinian Media Watch.
Palestinian Media Watch (PMW) reported yesterday that the Palestinian Authority (PA) is continuing its Pay-for-Slay payments outside the PA areas, beyond US and EU donor oversight.
Families in Jordan and Syria confirmed the salaries were paid earlier this week. Yesterday, families in Lebanon also reported receiving their Pay-for-Slay payments. Families in Egypt were told to expect the payments, “Thursday or the beginning of next week.”
So, how is the PA keeping these monthly terror salaries flowing without triggering EU and US scrutiny?
The PA’s own budget exposed the foreign Pay-for-Slay payments
The PA’s 2017 budget book included a breakdown of how many “Martyrs and wounded” families receive monthly allowances — both inside and outside PA-controlled areas. (The PA has not published the figures about the number of Martyr family recipients since 2017.)
Although the file is no longer available online, PMW downloaded it at the time.
The relevant section on page 622 states:
13,500 families of Martyrs and wounded received monthly allowances. The Institution [for Care of the Families of the Martyrs and the Wounded] pays monthly allowances to the families of the Martyrs and the wounded through the institution’s branches abroad.
The budget continues:
21,500 families of martyrs and wounded inside the homeland (the PA areas and Israel) received allowances. Providing financial allowances to the families of the Martyrs and the wounded inside the homeland through the institution’s branches.
This was the PA admitting — in its budget — that it maintained an organized foreign-branch system to pay 13,500 terror “allowances” outside the “homeland.”
The minimum foreign Pay-for-Slay total: NIS 18.9 million per month
Under PA regulations, the minimum monthly payment to “Martyrs’ families” is 1,400 shekels.
The 2017 figure for overseas recipients:
- 13,500 families × 1,400 shekels = 18,900,000 shekels per month
This figure of 18.9 million is clearly a minimum for 2026:
- Payments rise based on family status (+400 shekels for a wife and +60 shekels for each child). For simplicity, PMW has ignored the extras.
- The number of eligible “Martyrs” families has certainly increased since 2017.
- PMW did not calculate the exiled Palestinian released terrorist prisoners who have continued to receive monthly payments.
The method: The PA hides foreign payments under the PLO heading
This money avoids EU and US donor scrutiny because the PA does not pay terrorists’ families outside the country through the PA’s local Commission of Prisoners. Instead, the PA routes payments through the PLO, where donors are not demanding transparency.
Donors scrutinize PA payments; donors do not scrutinize PLO payments. The PA exploits that gap.
Looking at the PA transfers to the PLO in 2025 confirms PMW’s analysis.
In 2025, the PA reported transferring to the PLO 269,434,600 shekels, averaging 22.5 million shekels per month, listed as “transfer expenses” — the budget category used to describe the terrorist payments.
That number aligns cleanly with what the PA already documented in 2017:
- Foreign terror payments in 2017 were NIS 18.9 million/month (minimum)
- A 2025 monthly transfer average of NIS 22.5 million/month to cover these “transfer expenses” reflects an expected increase over eight years
Case study: Ahlam Tamimi — paid in Jordan, protected from scrutiny
This month, Ahlam Tamimi should have received 6,000 shekels, bringing her total PA salary since arrest to 1,158,800 shekels.
Tamimi is one of the most notorious freed terrorists. She orchestrated the Sbarro restaurant bombing, in which 15 people — including 8 children — were murdered. Two victims were US citizens. After being released in the Gilad Shalit deal, Tamimi was exiled to Jordan.
According to PA law, released prisoners continue receiving monthly salaries. Tamimi has therefore continued receiving her PA salary while living outside PA areas. As a celebrated PA figure, there is no reason her payment would have stopped, meaning she certainly would have received her salary this week with the thousands of other Jordanian Pay-for-Slay recipients.
If the US and EU want to seriously eliminate Pay-for-Slay, they must stop ignoring PA transfers to the PLO.
PMW recommends that the US and EU demand full disclosure of the recipients of “transfer expenses” in the PLO’s budget, including the names and countries of where the PA is paying terrorists and their families beyond donor oversight.
As long as the donors turn the other way and ignore the foreign payments, even the PA “reform” of Pay-for-Slay will remain a sham, and Pay-for-Slay will continue, on schedule, every month.
The author is the Founder and Director of Palestinian Media Watch, where a version of this article first appeared.
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Chabad attack suspect had previously sought ‘spiritual guidance’ from rabbi
The 36-year-old man arrested after repeatedly crashing into the entrance of the Chabad-Lubavitch world headquarters in Brooklyn on Wednesday night has a history of engaging with Chabad.
Rabbi Levi Azimov, who leads Chabad of South Brunswick in New Jersey, said the suspect, who has not yet been identified by police, attended a Purim service at Chabad in March of last year. He visited there twice more, seeking spiritual guidance, Azimov told the Forward.
“I was able to talk to him for a few minutes and see that he’s not exactly stable,” Azimov said.
Video confirmed by eyewitnesses shows the suspect repeatedly ramming his grey Honda sedan into the doors at 770 Eastern Parkway in the Crown Heights neighborhood, the main headquarters of the Chabad movement and one of the most recognized Jewish buildings in the world.
The video shows the driver yelling at bystanders to move out of the way before he drove down a ramp leading to the doors.
Video from Daniel David Yeroshalmi via Storyful:
Police arrived at the scene around 8:45 p.m. and arrested the individual. There were no reported injuries. A bomb squad conducted a sweep of the vehicle and found no explosive devices, police said.
According to Chabad spokesperson Yaacov Behrman, the suspect had arrived at 770 Eastern Parkway earlier in the night and removed two metal bollards that block cars from going down the driveway toward the building.
The incident took place on the 75th anniversary of the date that Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson became the leader of the Lubavitch movement. Thousands were gathered Wednesday night at the movement’s headquarters — Schneerson’s former home.
Rabbi Motti Seligson, a spokesperson for the movement, said on X that the ramming “seems intentional, but the motivations are unclear.” The evening’s festivities would carry on elsewhere undeterred, he said. Rabbi Mordechai Lightstone, Chabad’s social media director, said in a post on X that the attack did not appear to be antisemitic.
The attack follows a rash of antisemitic incidents across the city. On Tuesday, a rabbi was punched in Forest Hills, Queens, and last week, a playground frequented by Orthodox families in the Borough Park neighborhood in Brooklyn was graffitied with swastikas two days in a row. In both incidents, the suspects have been arrested. Antisemitic incidents accounted for 57% of reported hate crimes in New York City in 2025.
The incident is being investigated as a hate crime, said Police Commissioner Jessica Tisch.
Additional reporting by Jacob Kornbluh and Louis Keene.
The post Chabad attack suspect had previously sought ‘spiritual guidance’ from rabbi appeared first on The Forward.
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Shiri Shapira’s Yiddish stories reflect the anxieties of millennials
שירי שאַפּיראַס ליטעראַרישע שאַפֿונג איז שױן באַקאַנט די לײענערס פֿון „פֿאָרװערטס“. די העלדן פֿון אירע דערצײלונגען, װאָס זײַנען אַרײַן אינעם בוך „די צוקונפֿט“, זײַנען ישׂראלדיקע מענער און פֿרױען פֿון אַ גאַנץ יאָר, די מחברטע בתוכם. זײערע דאגות זײַנען װעגן פּרנסה, משפּחה, געזונט און וכּדומה. אָבער הינטער אָט דעם טאָג־טעגלעכן שטײגער שטעקט אַ נײַע פּערזענלעכע דערפֿאַרונג, װאָס אַנטפּלעקט זיך אין אַ קריטישן מאָמענט און עפֿנט אָפֿט מאָל אַ נײַע תּקופֿה אין זײער לעבן.
בײַם 13־יאָריקן מײדל אין דער דערצײלונג „די צוקונפֿט“, װאָס עפֿנט דאָס בוך, האָט זיך די נײַע תּקופֿה אָנגעהױבן אין 2001. די טעראָר־אַטאַקע אױף ניו־יאָרק האָט זיך צונױפֿגעפֿאַלן מיט אַ טעראָר־אָנפֿאַל אין איר שטאָט:
„אין יאָר 2001 איז געקומען דער ערשטער טעראָר־אָנפֿאַל אין אונדזער שטאָט. די השפּעות אויפֿן טאָג־טעגלעכן לעבן זענען געווען גרויס. מע האָט אָנגעפֿירט אָנסופֿיקע שמועסקרײַזן צום אָנדענק פֿון איין קרבן פֿון אונדזער שול, וועמען איך האָב ניט געקענט; יעדן פֿרימאָרגן האָב איך געדאַרפֿט קוקן אויף זײַן שמייכלענדיק, פּרישטשעוואַטע פּנים אויפֿן בילד, וואָס מע האָט געהאַט פֿאַרגרעסערט און אויפֿגעהאָנגען לעבן דעם שולטויער.“
אַזױ האָט דאָס יאָר 2001 אַרײַנגעבראַכט די „טעראָר־אָנפֿאַלן פֿון דער צוקונפֿט […] הױך ביז אין הימל אַרײַן, גלאַנציקע, זילבערנע“, װאָס זײַנען געװאָרן אַ באַשטאַנדטײל פֿון דער נײַער טאָג־טעגלעכקײט אי פֿאַר שאַפּיראַ אי פֿאַר מדינת־ישׂראל אי פֿאַר דער גאַנצער װעלט.
דאָס װאָרט „צוקונפֿט“ איז סײַ דער טיטל פֿונעם גאַנצן בוך און סײַ דאָס קעפּל פֿון דער ערשטער און דער לעצטער דערצײלונג. דער דאָזיקער באַגריף דינט װי אַ שליסל צו שאַפּיראַס שאַפֿונג. בײַ דער מחברטע און אירע העלדן איז די צוקונפֿט געפֿערלעך און אומזיכער. אַזאַ מין געפֿיל שפּיגלט אָפּ די אַלגעמײנע שטימונג פֿונעם „מילעניאַל“ דור (געבױרן צװישן די 1980ער און 1990ער יאָרן), צו װעלכן זי געהערט.
„די צוקונפֿט“ איז אױך דער נאָמען פֿון אײנער פֿון די װיכטיקסטע ייִדישע צײַטשריפֿטן, װאָס איז פּובליקירט געװאָרן אין ניו־יאָרק צװישן די יאָרן 1892 און 2010. אין אַ קאַפּיטל זכרונות דערצײלט שאַפּיראַ װעגן דעם, װי זי האָט קאַטאַלאָגירט אַרטיקלען פֿונעם דאָזיקן זשורנאַל פֿאַרן ייִדישן ביבליאָגראַפֿישן פּראָיעקט אינעם העברעיִשן אוניװערסיטעט אין ירושלים. אַזױ בױט זי אַ טעמאַטישע בריק צו ייִדיש, װאָס פֿאַרנעמט אַ חשובֿן טײל פֿון איר לעבן.
לכתּחילה האָט זי געהאָפֿט, אַז זי װעט קענען לײענען די צײַטשריפֿט און „זיך לערנען אָן אַ שיעור וועגן ייִדישער געשיכטע.“ אָבער אַנשטאָט דעם האָט זי געלײענט די טאָגלעכע נײַעס װעגן טעראָריסטישע אָנפֿאַלן אין ישׂראל בעת דער אַזױ־גערופֿענער „יחידים־אינטיפֿאַדע“. די ישׂראלדיקע הײַנטצײַטיקײט מאַכט בטל דעם שײנעם צוקונפֿט־חלום פֿון די אַמאָליקע ייִדישע סאָציאַליסטן: „ווער רעדט נאָך וועגן עפּעס אַ צוקונפֿט? די צוקונפֿט איז שוין אַ געוועזענע זאַך.“
שירי שאַפּיראַ פֿאַרמאָגט אַ שאַרפֿן חוש פֿאַר צײַט און הײַנטצײַטיקײט. די צײַט אין אירע מעשׂיות פֿליסט כּסדר מאָנאָטאָן אָבער צומאָל ברענגט זי אַרײַן בײַטן אינעם לעבן פֿון יחידים און פֿונעם כּלל. די סתּירה צװישן דעם גלײַכמעסיקן צײַטגאַנג און דעם פּלוצעמדיקן צײַטבראָך פֿילט מען ספּעציעל שאַרף אין ישׂראל. יעדער טאָג טראָגט אין זיך אַ פּאָטענציעלע סכּנה.
װי אַזױ קען אַ פּשוטער בשׂר־ודם זיך געבן אַן עצה אין דעם הײַנטיקן פּאָליטישן װירװאַר? װאָס איז טאַקע די נאַטור פֿון דער צײַט?
שאַפּיראַ דערמאָנט זיך: „מיידלווײַז האָב איך געהאַט אַ רושם, אַז פֿאַר דער פֿאַרגאַנגענהייט בין איך אָנגעקומען צו שפּעט, און אַז פֿאַר דער צוקונפֿט טויג ניט קיין מענטש, וועמענס פֿאַרגאַנגענהייט איז אים פֿאַרווערט.“ אַ סבֿרא, אַזאַ מין קשיות האָבן זי געשטױסן צו שטודירן פֿילאָסאָפֿיע אינעם אוניװערסיטעט.
דער פֿילאָסאָפֿישער יסוד איז װיכטיק פֿאַרן פֿאַרשטײן שאַפּיראַס ליטעראַרישער שאַפֿונג. אָבער װי אַ געניטע שרײַבערין קען זי קונציק אַרײַנפֿלעכטן די פֿילאָסאָפֿישע חקירות אינעם נאַראַטיװן לײַװנט פֿון אירע דערצײלונגען.
שאַפּיראַס העלדן לעבן אין ישׂראל און רעדן העברעיִש. לרובֿ קענען זײ ניט קײן ייִדיש. זי אַלײן איז אַ העברעיִשע שרײַבערין װאָס האָט איבערגעזעצט אַ היפּשע צאָל ליטעראַרישע װערק פֿון דײַטשיש אױף העברעיִש. איז אױף װאָס דאַרף מען ייִדיש? אַן ענטפֿער אױף אַזאַ פֿראַגע לאָזט זיך געפֿינען אין אירע דערצײלונגען.
דאָס עלטערע פּאָרפֿאָלק בני און דליה, אין דער דערצײלונג „ערדציטערניש“, האָט איבערגעלעבט אַן ערדציטערניש אין ירושלים. זײער מאָדערנע דירה איז ניט געשעדיקט געװאָרן, אָבער אַ סך געבײַדעס אינעם פּאַלעסטינער פּליטים־לאַגער שואַפֿאַט אינעם מזרחדיקן טײל פֿון דער שטאָט זײַנען יאָ חרובֿ געװאָרן און אַרום 700 מענטשן זײַנען אומגעקומען. זײער אַראַבישע אױפֿראַמערין איז פֿאַרפֿאַלן געװאָרן און קײנער װײסט ניט, װאָס עס איז מיט איר געשען.
בײַ דעם פּאָרפֿאָלק גייט דאָס לעבן װײַטער װי פֿריִער. זײ האָבן אין גיכן פֿאַרגעסן אָן דער אױפֿראַמערין, בפֿרט אַז זײ האָבן אַפֿילו ניט געװוּסט, װי אַזױ מען זאָל אַרױסרעדן איר נאָמען. ייִדן און אַראַבער זײַנען תּושבֿים פֿון דער אײגענער שטאָט אָבער באַװױנען פֿאַרשײדענע װעלטן.
יעדן אָװנט עסן בני און דליה װעטשערע, קוקן אַ טעלעװיזיע־פּראָגראַם און כאַפּן בעת־מעשׂה אַ דרעמל. אָבער עפּעס נײַס קומט טאַקע פֿאָר אין זײער לעבן. זײ פֿאַרשרײַבן זיך אױף ייִדיש־קורסן. כאָטש זײ געדענקען כּמעט גאָרנישט פֿון ייִדיש, װאָס זײערע עלטערן האָבן אַ מאָל גערעדט האָפֿן, אַז „זיי וועלן זיך לערנען כאָטש עפּעס, איידער סע קומט דאָס קומעדיקע ערדציטערניש.“
דאָס ערדציטערניש דינט װי אַ מעטאַפֿאָר פֿאַר דראַמאַטישע און טראַגישע געשעענישן, װאָס טרעפֿן זיך אין ישׂראל. אַזוינע אומגליקן רײַסן איבער דעם מאָנאָטאָנעם צײַטגאַנג אָבער אין גיכן גײט דאָס לעבן װײַטער װי פֿריִער. און אין די דאָזיקע מאָמענטן קומט ייִדיש אַרײַן װי אַ מין געשפּענסט פֿון דער ייִדישער געשיכטע, בײַ װעמען מען קען אָנלערנען „כאָטש עפּעס“ פֿאַרן קומעדיקן איבערבראָך.
שאַפּיראַ דערמאָנט זיך װעגן אַ געפֿיל, װאָס האָט זי מײדלװײַז באַאומרויִקט: „איך בין געווען גאָר יונג און האָב געמיינט, אַז אַלע מענטשן אַחוץ מיר געבן זיך אַן עצה אין אַלע פֿאַלן, אַז אַלע זענען גוט פֿאַרוואָרצלט אין זייער לעבן, און נאָר איך שוועב אין דער לופֿטן, ניט וויסנדיק וווּ זיך אַהינצוטאָן.“ און דװקא ייִדיש שאַפֿט אַ מין גײַסטיקן מקום־מלקט װוּ מען קען „זיך אַהינטאָן“ און געפֿינען היסטאָרישע װאָרצלען.
צומאָל װערט שאַפּיראָס טאָן ביטער־איראָניש, בפֿרט װען ס׳גײט װעגן דעם לײדיקן גורל פֿונעם שרײַבער אין דער הײַנטיקער געזעלשאַפֿט. די העלדין פֿון דער דערציילונג „זעלבסטפּאָרטרעט װי אַ העברעיִשע שרײַבערין“ חלומט װעגן אַן אידעאַלן לײענער:
„ער קומט צום אָוונט לכּבֿוד מײַן ערשט בוך, מײַן דעביוט. […] דאָ זיצט אַ מאַן, שיין ווי די וועלט, און הערט זיך צו צו מײַן פּלאַפּלערײַ וועגן דער שווערער,
אויסגעצויגענער אַרבעט אויפֿן טעקסט, אַפּלאָדירט ענערגיש, ווען די מוזיקערס ענדיקן זייער טייל.“
דער מאַן האָט צװײ מאָל איבערגעלײענעט איר בוך און האָט טיף פֿאַרשטאַנען איר נשמה. זײער באַגעגעניש ענדיקט זיך אין בעט: „דערגרייכנדיק צום שפּיץ, לאָזט ער אַרויס אַ זיסן זיפֿץ, אַ זאַטן געזאַנג, ווי אַן ענטוזיאַסטישע, שאַרפֿזיניקע רעצענזיע.“
שאַפּיראַס דערצײלונגען זײַנען פֿײַנע מוסטערן פֿון דער עכטער ערנסטער ליטעראַטור, װאָס זוכט ענטפֿערס אױף די הײסע פֿראַגן פֿונעם מענטשלעכן קיום. זײ שפּיגלען אָפּ די איצטיקע צײַט װי אַ פֿליסיקער מאָמענט פֿונעם גרױסן היסטאָרישן איבערבראָך.
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