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This Jewish couple ended their three-country wedding tour with a colorful Oaxacan ceremony
(JTA) — For the third of their three weddings, Hallie Applebaum and Elan Raffel set up a chuppah in Oaxaca, the Mexican city where they first confessed their love for each other.
Oaxaca is a vibrant hub of Mexican folk art and incredible food, but Jewish life? Not so much. Nonetheless the couple chose there to wed in an egalitarian Jewish ceremony led by the groom’s sister, Libby Smoler, on Feb 26. And when seven family members and friends gave their own interpretations of the seven traditional blessings, one of Applebaum’s sisters wished them a lifetime of adventures and delicious meals.
The wedding came just over three years after the pair met — online, from their parents’ houses early in the pandemic.
Applebaum’s parents weren’t subtle about wading into her dating life after she moved home to Portland, Maine, in early 2020, the only one of their four children to do so. Her father showed her a video about dating apps and her mother asked her for a demonstration.
Applebaum, 35, downloaded Hinge. The next thing she knew, her mother was hooked. “She’s swiping and swiping, and saying, ‘This is fabulous,’” Applebaum recalled, adding with a joke, “I told her, ‘You have to have some standards.’”
In Los Angeles, where Applebaum had been living, she had been focused first on her job as a producer of external communications for the educational technology division of the World Bank, and her all-consuming side project as the founder of Future of Women, which hosts breakfast events around the world and hosts a podcast for women leaders.
But in her childhood home, with no timeline for when life would resume, she decided to dive into dating, drawing on her extensive experiences living and traveling abroad to experiment with what would generate the most promising results.
“I put my location as different places, like Mexico City or London, for the fun of it,” she said. “When we were so isolated, to have contact with people in these places was nice. But, then, I put myself in a more realistic location.”
That location was New York City, where she soon encountered Raffel, an attorney in the tech industry.
Elan Raffel breaks the glass during his wedding ceremony with Hallie Applebaum, in Oaxaca, Mexico, Feb. 26, 2023. (Mónica Godefroy)
The pair matched and soon learned that they had a lot in common. Like Applebaum, Raffel had moved back in with his parents at the start of the pandemic — in his case Pikesville, a heavily Jewish suburb of Baltimore. Both had attended Jewish day schools growing up; both had spent time living abroad (Applebaum in Guatemala, Ecuador and while pursuing a master’s degree at the London School of Economics and Raffel in his mother’s native Israel); and both enjoyed fine food and off-the-beaten-path adventures.
After months of phone calls and probing conversations — some fueled by “The 36 Questions that Lead to Love” as appeared in The New York Times — they decided that Raffel would join Applebaum for a camping trip in Maine’s Acadia National Park.
“We had an out,” Raffel recalled. “If either of us had a terrible experience, we could back out.”
That wasn’t needed. Instead, they extended their time together — after kicking it off with an unplanned first meeting for Raffel with Applebaum’s parents when she forgot a cooler of food at their house.
“We joke that our first date was two weeks long,” said Raffel.
Soon after, Applebaum met Raffel’s family for Rosh Hashanah dinner. Then, Raffel rented a home in Los Angeles after Applebaum returned there.
With remote work the norm, and a few months dating now behind them, they began considering living and working elsewhere. They decided on Mexico, spending one month in Merida and one month in Oaxaca.
With its vibrant food scene and colorful arts and culture, the couple both fell in love with Oaxaca, and with each other. It was there that they first said, “I love you.”
Hallie Applebaum and Elan Raffel pose with dancers who joined their public wedding procession in Oaxaca. (Mónica Godefroy)
They returned to Mexico in the summer of 2022 while their new condo in Santa Monica was undergoing renovations; it was there that they became engaged. They now regularly host Shabbat dinners in their L.A. home through the nonprofit OneTable.
The first of their three wedding ceremonies took place on Sept. 30, 2022, when they were legally married at the Los Angeles County Courthouse.
The next event took place in Israel, where Raffel’s mother had long hoped that one of her three children would marry. He was her last hope, so the couple said yes to what they thought would be a small wedding there planned by her.
But Shuli Raffel’s plans grew larger and larger, until finally, Applebaum’s parents decided to come and her London-based sister, too. Rabbi Shira Levine of Kibbutz Hanaton, rooted in the Conservative movement of Judaism, officiated a religious ceremony on Oct. 14 at Bistro de Carmel in Zichron Ya’akov with 90 guests present.
Hallie Applebaum and Elan Raffel held one wedding ceremony in Israel, where Raffel’s mother is from. (Taylor Applebaum)
Levine had guided the couple via video calls in writing their own text for the Jewish wedding contract, the ketubah.
“We spoke to the rabbi about our relationship, our household, and how do we make this concrete and what traditional things do we want to modify and make more egalitarian,” Applebaum said, adding, “Since I do a lot of work in women’s empowerment, it was important to me to have a woman rabbi.”
Then, over Thanksgiving weekend, the couple held an Israeli brunch in Philadelphia, attended by their grandmothers — Applebaum’s is 102 — who would not be traveling to Mexico. From there, they flew directly to Oaxaca for a menu tasting, where, because Applebaum is vegetarian, it fell to Raffel to try all the fish and meat options they might offer their guests.
The couple returned to Oaxaca for the main affair — a multi-day event that included a day-long tour to a facility where mezcal, a Oaxacan spirit, is made; visits to craftspeople; and two nights of dinners.
On Feb. 26, they had their third and final wedding in front of 72 guests at Cardenal Oaxaca, an events venue. Spicy pineapple mezcal cocktails kicked off the celebration, and a festive meal that won accolades even from foodie guests followed the ceremony.
At their Oaxaca wedding, Hallie Applebaum and Elan Raffel served guests a native corn milk epazote sponge cake with lime cream. (Hallie Applebaum)
“It was amazing,” said Ori Zohar, a guest who is also the co-founder of spice company Burlap & Barrel. “The wedding meal was a procession of Mexican and Oaxacan specialties with an international twist. Beets were grilled and paired with pumpkin seeds and pickled mustard seeds. Duck enchiladas came slathered in a black mole sauce and aged cheese. The main dishes were shared plates, so each guest got to try a little of everything before going back and polishing off the rest of their favorite.”
In one highlight of the day, the couple partook in a local custom where tall likenesses of the couple are made out of paper maché and carried, and people toast the bride and groom. It was, Applebaum said, a perfect way to show off a beloved place to their friends and family.
“Our guests went from this beautiful ceremony that his sister put together,” she said, “to being immersed in this celebration in the streets.”
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Tim Walz: Get Anne Frank’s Name Out of Your Mouth
Former US Vice President and Democratic presidential candidate Kamala Harris and her running mate Minnesota Governor Tim Walz hold a campaign event in Eau Claire, Wisconsin, US, Aug. 7, 2024. Photo: REUTERS/Kevin Mohatt
Many Holocaust survivors I’ve interviewed have said it pains them when people compare anyone to Hitler and the Gestapo, or compare things to the Holocaust to try to get attention or make a political point.
They’ve also mentioned how people use Anne Frank’s name for political purposes, because most schoolchildren have read her diary.
Minnesota Governor Tim Walz (D), who, after a scandal involving alleged fraud in his state, announced he is not running for re-election, recently said the following: “We have got children hiding in their houses, afraid to go outside. Many of us grew up reading that story of Anne Frank…”
As January 27 is International Holocaust Remembrance Day, many, including Jews, will make false comparisons to the Holocaust, because they imagine this makes them noble and a fighter for social justice.
Anne Frank died in a concentration camp called Bergen-Belsen weeks before its liberation by British forces who found thousands of corpses and about 55,000 emaciated prisoners. The camp was of course run by Nazis. Frank hid in what was known as the annex in Amsterdam for 761 days. She had no option to be deported to another country safely, nor was she in Amsterdam illegally. She knew being discovered likely meant death.
I am sure illegal immigrants fear being deported and some legal immigrants may fear detention. Walz could have said that without invoking the name of Anne Frank. He did this because his goal is to paint Federal agents with a big red Nazi brush. It is also understandable that many are angry after a Federal agent shot Alex Pretti, with video footage showing Pretti did not brandish his gun, and Walz would be correct to rebuke Kristi Noem, Secretary of Homeland Security for her characterization of Pretti.
But it is important to know about communist propaganda.
In 1967, the Soviets realized there was a branding problem. The country regretted its support for Israel officially becoming a state in 1948, because it since had become a strong ally of America. The solution? The rebrand of Israel via Holocaust inversion.
Imagine! Those who rose from the ashes of the Holocaust had done so, only to become Nazis themselves. What a twist to the story! Israel would not be the David, but, rather, the Goliath.
It took some time, but by 1975, they passed Resolution 3379 at the United Nations, where the text stated that, “Zionism is a form of racism and racial discrimination.” Fifty years later, this effort has gone past their wildest dreams, with the help of Qatari funding. Most of the world lambasts Israel at every turn, blaming Israel as one of the world’s worst oppressors. Even those propagandists never thought there would be a day where Jews were called “Zio-Nazis.”
This is why Walz sees nothing wrong with a false Anne Frank comparison. Some Jews, blinded by their hatred of President Trump, don’t stop to think about the damage of false Nazi comparisons.
This does not mean one should not criticize any president or demand accountability. Sadly, people are captured by a narrative that is popular, and are not interested in much else.
A false comparison doesn’t strengthen a point, it only takes away credibility. When anyone makes any claim, you should ask: What is your evidence for that? If they don’t have it, you should tell them to use a correct phrase and retract a claim or characterization if it is false.
The reason false Nazi comparisons are a problem is that they have become a prominent component of antisemitism.
It is the Jewish way to fight against racism and to seek justice. But those who make false Holocaust comparisons dishonor the memories of those who died in the Holocaust.
The author is a writer based in New York.
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Soccer Clubs Around the World Mark International Holocaust Remembrance Day With Commemorative Events
FC Bayern and Munich FC Augsburg holding a poster to commemorate the Holocaust #WeRemember campaign. Photo: IMAGO/MIS via Reuters Connect
Soccer clubs around the world commemorated International Holocaust Remembrance Day on Tuesday by pledging to honor victims of Nazi persecution through campaigns, memorial events, and other gestures to show the importance of remembering the atrocities of World War II.
Germany’s professional leagues — including FC Bayern and Augsburg – held over the weekend a series of memorial events and matches across the country opened with a moment of silence dedicated to the #WeRemember campaign by the World Jewish Congress. The campaign aims to keep the memory of the Holocaust alive. This year’s Holocaust Remembrance Day marks the 81st anniversary of the liberation of the Auschwitz-Birkenau extermination camp in 1945.
Vor dem Spiel haben beide Mannschaften der Befreiung Auschwitz‘ gedacht. Im Stadion gab es eine Schweigeminute.#WeRemember #DSCKSV pic.twitter.com/U098DdMbiW
— Arminia ist wieder da (@arminiawiederda) January 23, 2026
In Italy, a commemorative ceremony in memory of Jewish Hungarian soccer player and coach Árpád Weisz was held Tuesday morning at Stadio Renato Dall’Ara and organized by Bologna FC. Those in attendance included Bologna FC CEO Claudio Fenucci, a delegation from the club’s youth sector, Bologna City Councilor for Sport Roberta Li Calzi, and Emanuele Ottolenghi, vice president of the Jewish community of Bologna.
Weisz lived in Italy and led Bologna to league and international victories. He also coached Fiorentina and Inter Milan, and was the first coach to claim Italian titles with two clubs. He additionally is credited with discovering talented players such as Giuseppe Meazza. He, his wife and two children were deported to the Auschwitz concentration camp, where they were murdered by the Nazis. He died in 1944 at the age of 47.
The FIGC, which is the governing body of soccer in Italy, is running a campaign on its official website and social media channels to commemorate the victims of the Holocaust. The campaign features an image of empty seats in a stadium, to remember those murdered by the Nazis.
“Remembering is not enough; there is an absolute need to stay aware of one of the greatest tragedies in human history,” said FIGC President Gabriele Gravina. “To know is to prevent, to fight, to protect, to respect. [Soccer], with its social impact, can serve as a powerful platform to spread messages of profound significance, especially to younger generations, who did not experience this atrocity firsthand but have both the right and the duty to understand it.”
England’s Manchester United marked Holocaust Remembrance Day by making a pledge “to listen, learn, and carry the legacies forward of the millions of innocent lives that were taken under persecution.”
The Football Association, which is the governing body of soccer in England, said in a released statement that International Holocaust Remembrance Day “is for everyone. It brings people together from all walks of life to strengthen communities and stand up against hatred and discrimination.”
“As the years pass, we’re growing more distant in time from the Holocaust and from the other, more recent genocides that are commemorated on HMD. That distance brings a risk – memory fades and the sharp reality of what happened becomes blurred, abstract, or even questioned,” the FA added. Soccer “has the power to bring people together in so many ways, can eradicate social barriers and be a force for good across communities. One of our key commitments is to do everything in our power to deliver a game free from discrimination and that will never stop, which is why IHMD is so important.”
The British club Chelsea FC hosted on Tuesday at its stadium a free exhibition, open to all visitors between 10 am and 2 pm, which highlights “the achievements, struggles, and resilience of athletes before, during, and after the Holocaust.” Visitors also learn about the role sport played in fighting against Nazi persecution, and the exhibit shares the stories of Jewish athletes persecuted under Nazi rule as well as the post-Holocaust rise of Jewish sports figures such as Mark Spitz, one of the most decorated Olympic swimmers of all time. The exhibition is produced by Yad Vashem in partnership with the Jewish Ethics Project and the soccer team’s Jewish Supporters’ Group.
Tottenham Hotspur hosted a Holocaust Memorial Day event for faith leaders and students, while Fulham FC shared on its website and YouTube channel a video of Holocaust survivor Barbara Frankiss talking to three Fulham players about her experience facing Nazi persecution and the importance of Holocaust remembrance.
We were honoured to host Haringey’s annual Holocaust Memorial Day event, uniting faith leaders and students from across our community to reflect on this year’s theme ‘Bridging Generations’.
#HolocaustMemorialDay #HMD2026 pic.twitter.com/dQIZk4VpUF
— Tottenham Hotspur (@SpursOfficial) January 27, 2026
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So many Jews stars in this comedy, so few chances for them to shine
At the heart of Fantasy Life, which marks Matthew Shear’s directorial debut, is a sweet relationship between dropout law student Sam (Shear) and mother-of-three Dianne (Amanda Peet). Sam is — as the movie clunkily establishes — a clumsy mess with some mental health issues; she is a former child actor who, at 51, feels washed up as an artist.
They are brought together when her husband’s parents suggest Sam as an emergency babysitter for her young daughters. Sam’s “mannying” opportunity arises when he visits his therapist after getting laid off, because he needs to confess a compulsive antisemitic tic he has developed. His imperturbable therapist (Judd Hirsch) employs his wife (Andrea Martin) as office administrator and it is she who extends both repeated good wishes to his parents and the possibility of him looking after her granddaughters. Over the course of the seasons around which the film is structured, Sam becomes the girls’ nanny and, since Dianne’s rock bassist husband David (Alessandro Nivola) is away on tour they get to know each other. The two find solace and hope in each other.

Although Nivola portrays David as a douche, and although there is sexual tension between the two leads, their relationship is treated gently and with nuance. David and Dianne’s marriage is on the rocks, but is limping along. Much to the relief of Dianne’s wealthy parents (Bob Balaban and Holland Taylor) as well as to the movie audience, the film does not — as it threatens — lurch into the tabloid spectacle of “Manny Beds Mommy.”
Shear is best known for his acting, with supporting roles in a number of Noah Baumbach films and, most recently, a similar ensemble role in Nathan Silver’s Between the Temples. As a director, Shear is clearly in love with Peet who, thus encouraged, gives a luminous performance. Shear, who also wrote the film, tries too hard to evoke the three distinguishing characteristics of his role: appealing, awkward, smart. It’s his movie but he does not look like he’s enjoying starring in the action. Perhaps he should have just cast his look-alike Adam Pally (Dr. Peter Prentice in The Mindy Project) as Sam.
Shear’s experience in the film industry has given him access to some high profile actors. His willingness to use them means that he sets the bar for his first film too high. After all, sending what is effectively his student film to SXSW for its premiere is a bold statement as is casting Zosia Mamet along with the aforementioned Balaban, Taylor, Nivola, Hirsch, Martin and Peet. Having this many celebrity names in a single production earns it attention, I guess. But it also means more scrutiny for a production than you might otherwise expect, or even want.
Though Shear succeeds in gently evoking an odd, imbalanced relationship between two people on either side of a familiar community but in different stages of life, he often does so in ways that are crudely conceived, not fully realized, or lacking a unified aesthetic. The film bills itself as a comedy, but there are few laughs and the drama lacks sustained intensity.
The film grew out of an idea Shear had brought to Pizza Club — what his friend the actor Ashley Zukerman (who does not appear in Fantasy Life) described as a few friends “going out for pizza under the guise of helping each other with projects.” Shear has been picking up bits of stories here and there, and you can feel the elements of authenticity: For example, Dianne gets recognized at a restaurant, but the star-struck waitress thinks she’s Lake Bell.
Too often, though, the scenes feel contrived. A detail announces itself as a choice rather than something organic, or a scene’s very presence seems justified only by what it’s meant to explain. It’s easy to hear the director telling the actors what to do — “Judd, do that thing with your hands”; “Andrea, just stand around helplessly tearing your hair out.” Scenes function less as drama than as annotation, dutifully clarifying Sam’s social awkwardness or her agent’s thinly veiled contempt for Dianne. Or to highlight some relationship development — let’s show how Dianne and Sam view the manny-Mommy relationship differently by showing two bumping into each other when he has the kids: He looks at her, she is happy to see him and kids, but is quite as happy to move off again.
As far as the production goes, the design is unobtrusive and the cinematography is crisp and clear. And, though he under-uses the excellent actors at his disposal — Balaban has a far wider range than the one note of disgust at the schmuck manny that he evinces repeatedly — he does not betray them. The celebrity pantheon actually adds to a homely feeling. It’s almost a joke itself, when you recognize almost every character in the movie because they are well-known actors. And that sense of familiarity is totally in keeping with the movie’s New York vibe.
Fantasy Life will conclude the New York Jewish Film Festival on Jan. 28.
The post So many Jews stars in this comedy, so few chances for them to shine appeared first on The Forward.

