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This New York-based dating coach has sage advice for Jewish singles

(New York Jewish Week) — On the Netflix reality show “Jewish Matchmaking,” matchmaker and star Aleeza Ben Shalom jet-sets around the world, meets her clients one-on-one, and dives deep into her little black book in order to make connections based on what attributes people seek in a partner and what sort of values they have.
“Jewish Matchmaking” may be entertaining, but it’s not exactly representative of how most Jews meet their romantic partners today. As anyone who’s been on a date in the past 10 or 20 years knows, outside the Orthodox community, the primary way people get together is via online dating apps. This cultural shift has paved the way for new types of matchmakers, like Jewish “online dating coach” Erika Ettin. Her process may be different than it was back in the day, but the goal remains the same: to find finds and catch catches.
Ettin, who finesses her clients’ online dating profiles and helps them establish their dating priorities, has a pragmatic approach to modern dating. “I don’t believe in bashert,” she told the New York Jewish Week, using the Yiddish word for “preordained” that is colloquially used to mean “soulmate.” “I don’t believe in one person for everyone. I think many people can make you happy for different reasons.”
Ettin, 42, founded her modern-day matchmaking business, A Little Nudge, in 2011. The name, Ettin clarifies, is pronounced “nuhdge” — as in gentle encouragement — and not the Yiddish “noodge,” meaning to annoy or pester. “Only my mom is allowed to call me that,” Ettin quips. “But I’m giving people a push. I’m giving them the tools they need to get out there.”
Though Ettin’s clients are not exclusively Jewish, she estimates that some 15 percent of them are — “which is a lot more than the national average!” Ettin joked. (A recent Pew study found that Jews make up about 2.4% of the U.S. population.)
Through her business, Ettin offers three levels of service, with pricing from $500: The standard “little nudge” includes a Zoom consultation, after which Ettin will write a client’s online dating profile and select their pictures. Her aim, she said, is to help people put their best proverbial foot forward while simultaneously ensuring that they don’t represent themselves inaccurately.
“Anything that lets your personality shine, shows your quirks and stays positive,” she advises. “But it’s more than a profile. It’s being proactive on the sites that makes you successful.”
The next tier is A Little Nudge Plus, in which Ettin also presents her clients with some handpicked matches and helps draft those initial, particularly anxiety-inducing messages. Finally, there’s “A Little Nudge Platinum,” the whole enchilada of Ettin’s services, in which clients hand over their dating reins: Ettin will swipe and message on her client’s behalf — but only to the point of setting up the first meeting. “Ultimately, they’re the ones going on the date,” she said.
Ettin’s approach to dating is born out of first-hand experience: Formerly an economist at Fannie Mae in Washington, D.C., Ettin was an early adopter of online dating in 2001. Using the Jewish dating site JDate, she relied on her savvy with statistics to usher her through the complicated process, from talking online (and later, via app) to meeting in real life.
“I put two things I really liked together: online dating and spreadsheets,” Ettin said, explaining that she initially created the spreadsheet to ensure she didn’t write to the same person twice. Soon, however, she realized she could employ this tracking system to ask questions like, “What’s my response rate if I write to somebody? If I make little tweaks, is the probability of getting a response higher? What’s my conversion rate if this person writes back? Do we go on a date?”
Eventually, friends started to notice how successful she was at garnering online dates and requested her assistance with their profiles, inspiring Ettin to quit her job at Fannie Mae and make the jump to full-time date doctoring. “Best decision I ever made,” she declared.
Recently, Ettin made another big, long-awaited jump: After 19 years in Washington, she moved to Brooklyn Heights in December 2022. Ettin had found she was making frequent trips to New York, both to meet with clients and — “here’s where it gets fun,” she said — to compete in the live pun competition Punderdome (she even won the show’s last outing in June).
“I finally decided, if not now, then when?” she said, quoting Jewish sage Hillel. “There’s usually something holding you back — either you’re taking a class, or you’re in a relationship, or you’re… something. It was the first time in a long time where nothing was keeping me anymore.”
So far, Ettin is adjusting to her new scene in Brooklyn Heights nicely, calling it the perfect mix of “quiet and quaint,” perfect for walking her dog, Scruffy, a mutt she suspects is a terrier dachshund mix. She often heads to Times Square to “feed my Broadway addiction,” she said.
“Everything about me makes sense here,” said Ettin, who declined to share her relationship status. (“I generally try not to mix personal and professional,” she said.)
Of course, the same issues that plague any New Yorker plague her as well, like attempting to cook a seven-pound brisket for Passover in her New York-sized oven. (Per Ettin’s review, it was “a mess, but delicious.”) For 20 years, Ettin has hosted a Passover seder in her home; it’s one of many ways she celebrates her cultural Judaism.
Growing up in Cherry Hill, New Jersey, Ettin was raised Jewish and had a bat mitzvah. It wasn’t until she was a student at Cornell University that she began to connect with her culture on a deeper level. That’s mainly because she missed the taste of matzah ball soup — a powerful motivator for an 18-year-old living away from home for the first time. Ettin attended Reform synagogue in college, and upon relocating to Washington, helped to lead services for young professionals at the historic Sixth & I synagogue alongside Jewish rocker Rick Recht.
Despite what “Sex and the City” and Instagram meme accounts have led many to believe, Ettin doesn’t necessarily subscribe to the notion that dating is harder in New York City than other locales. “Every city has its quirks,” she said. “And there are so many options, and I know that does frustrate people. The paradox of choice, right? When you have so many things to choose from, you’re not actually happy with your choice. There’s always another person a swipe away.”
“But I think dating in New York can be great,” she added. “Most people complain about their own city, but every city can’t be the worst, you know? Are you going to come across every stereotype you think you’re going to come across in New York City? Absolutely, but are you also going to come across amazing people who are looking for what you’re looking for? Yeah, but it takes digging.”
One trend Ettin has noticed among her Jewish clients: Many of them want to meet someone who is also Jewish, even if they’re not particularly observant. That’s good news for any Jewish single looking for a partner — and maybe even better news for any bubbe-figure who wants a loved one to be searching for a Jewish partner.
Ettin’s advice for meeting another Jewish New Yorker is simple: “Pay for the filters on the dating apps so they can filter religion,” she said. “Because it cracks me up when they say ‘This is a dealbreaker’ and then they refuse to pay the $20 to actually use the filter to filter for religion.”
This advice holds true for whatever your dealbreakers are, Ettin advises. “If those checkboxes are there on the dating sites, use those to your advantage,” she said. “On the flip side, just because the option is there doesn’t mean you have to use it. Just because you can search by every inch of height, does not mean you need to.”
While her speciality may be online dating, Ettin believes it’s still possible for people to connect and fall in love IRL in NYC. “Put yourself in places where you want to be, anyway, and then if you meet someone it’s an added bonus,” she advises. “If going to synagogue is important to you, find one that you really like and then you’re already in your element. If you meet someone there, it’s an added bonus. If you want to take some kind of Israeli cooking class, you’re already enjoying yourself because it’s something you want to be doing. If you meet someone it’s an added bonus.”
No matter your situation, or what you’re seeking in a partner, central to much of Ettin’s advice is asking for the things you want. “I think it’s not only OK but encouraged to tell people exactly the types of behaviors you want,” she said. “If you are in a relationship and you want flowers three times a year, tell your partner, ‘I want flowers three times a year.’ You’re not going to be upset when they then give you flowers because you told them — you’ll be happy.”
These types of communication tools were invaluable to Elizabeth Cutler, a former client who recently moved from a career in government “into the creating writing chapter” of her life. She said Ettin “really helped me refresh myself and to present the best version of myself” and to “really listen to my instincts.”
“Everyone is trying to do what they think they’re supposed to do in dating, and sometimes that gets a little mixed up with putting forward authentic selves,” Cutler, 35, said of the wisdom she learned. “It’s good to give people grace around that.”
On “Jewish Matchmaking,” Ben Shalom famously says she has “the hardest job in the world.” Ettin’s approach, meanwhile, is a bit more practical. “The desire to meet someone or find a partner is never going to go away,”she said. “If the economy changes, or anything changes, people will still have the desire to meet a partner. I think I will always have work to do.”
Ultimately, when it comes to love, Ettin doesn’t believe in luck. “I believe in hard work,” she said.
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The post This New York-based dating coach has sage advice for Jewish singles appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
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Houthi Terrorists Raid UN Premises in Yemen, Detain At Least 11 People

Houthi policemen ride on the back of a patrol pick-up truck during the funeral of Houthi terrorists killed by recent US-led strikes, in Sanaa, Yemen, Feb. 10, 2024. Photo: REUTERS/Khaled Abdullah
Yemen‘s Iran-backed Houthi rebels raided United Nations offices in the Yemeni capital Sanaa on Sunday and detained at least 11 UN personnel, the body said.
UN Secretary-General Antonio Guterres said the Houthis, an internationally designated terrorist group, forcibly entered World Food Program premises, seized UN property, and attempted to enter other UN offices in the capital.
The raid followed an Israeli strike on Sanaa on Thursday that killed the prime minister of Yemen‘s Houthi-run government and several other ministers.
UN Special Envoy for Yemen Hans Grundberg said in a separate statement that the 11 staff were detained in both Sanaa and the port city of Hodeidah.
UNICEF, the UN Development Program and the office of the UN High Commissioner for Refugees are among other UN agencies with offices in one or both of the two cities.
Grundberg said the detentions were in addition to 23 other UN staff previously detained, some since 2021, and one who died in detention this year.
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Israel Moves EU Approval for Diaspora Bond to Luxembourg From Ireland Amid Hostility Over Gaza

Anti-Israel protesters demonstrate in front of the Central Bank of Ireland against the sale of Israeli bonds throughout the EU, in Dublin, Ireland, May 27, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Clodagh Kilcoyne
Israel has moved the process of securing EU approval for its diaspora bond prospectus to Luxembourg from Ireland amid increasing opposition in Dublin to its central bank’s role in approving the program on behalf of the European Union.
Irish lawmakers and anti-Israel campaign groups have called on the central bank to stop facilitating the sale of the bonds over the last year due to Israel‘s near two-year military campaign against the Palestinian terrorist group Hamas in Gaza.
Israel‘s diaspora bonds are relatively small and sold mainly in Jewish communities around the world to help supplement the state’s bond sales that finance its budget deficit that has risen due to the war. Israel launched a diaspora bond campaign in October 2023 to raise money amid the conflict.
Non-EU countries must choose one EU member state to apply to for approval of a prospectus where securities are traded in the EU and Ireland‘s central bank had been asked to approve Israel‘s diaspora bond program each year since 2021.
A joint committee of Irish lawmakers recommended in August that the government seek to amend EU regulations so as to allow each individual European central bank to refuse to act as the competent authority for such bond prospectuses.
Protesters have also demonstrated outside the central bank’s offices.
Ireland has been one of the fiercest critics of Israel on the international stage since Hamas’s Oct. 7, 2023, massacre across southern Israel, amid the ensuing war in Gaza, leading the Jewish state to shutter its embassy in Dublin.
Last year, Ireland officially recognized a Palestinian state, a decision that Israel described as a “reward for terrorism.” This year, the Irish government is drafting legislation to ban trade with territories under Israeli administration, including the West Bank, Gaza, East Jerusalem, and the Golan Heights. The measure seeks to prohibit the import of goods and services originating from what the legislation refers to as “occupied Palestinian territories,” including Israeli communities in the West Bank and East Jerusalem.
The Irish central bank had consistently said it is legally obliged to approve any prospectus once the relevant conditions are met.
In a letter to a lawmaker published by the central bank, Governor Gabriel Makhlouf said the approval for Israel‘s program would be transferred to Luxembourg upon the expiry of the prior year’s prospectus on Monday.
The new prospectus published on the website of Israel Bonds, the country’s borrowing vehicle for diaspora bonds, said its program for the next year had been approved by Luxembourg.
Israel‘s finance ministry did not immediately comment on the reasons for moving its EU bond prospectus approval.
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China, Russia Join Iran in Rejecting European Move to Restore Sanctions on Tehran

Iranian President Masoud Pezeshkian attends the Shanghai Cooperation Organization (SCO) Summit 2025, in Tianjin, China, Sept. 1, 2025. Photo: Iran’s Presidential website/WANA (West Asia News Agency)/Handout via REUTERS
UN Security Council permanent members China and Russia backed Iran on Monday in rejecting a move by European countries to reimpose UN sanctions on Tehran loosened a decade ago under a nuclear agreement.
A letter signed by the Chinese, Russian, and Iranian foreign ministers said a move by Britain, France, and Germany to automatically restore the sanctions under a so-called “snapback mechanism” was “legally and procedurally flawed.”
China and Russia were signatories to Iran‘s 2015 nuclear deal with world powers, along with the three European countries, known as the E3. US President Donald Trump pulled the United States out of the agreement in his first term in 2018.
The Europeans launched the “snapback mechanism” last week, accusing Iran of violating the deal, which had provided relief from international financial sanctions in return for curbs to Iran‘s nuclear program.
The letter published by Iran‘s Foreign Minister Abbas Araqchi in a post on X on Monday said that the course taken by Britain, France, and Germany “abuses the authority and functions of the UN Security Council.”
Iran has long since broken through the limits on uranium production set under the 2015 deal, arguing that it is justified in doing so as a consequence of Washington having pulled out of the agreement. The deal expires in October this year, and the snapback mechanism would allow sanctions that were lifted under it to take effect again.
Iran and the E3 held talks aimed at a new nuclear agreement after Israel and the US bombed Iran‘s nuclear installations in mid-June. But the E3 deemed that talks in Geneva last week did not yield sufficient signals of readiness for a new deal from Iran.
“Our joint letter with my colleagues, the foreign ministers of China and Russia, signed in Tianjin, reflects the firm position that the European attempt to invoke snapback is legally baseless and politically destructive,” Iran‘s foreign minister said in his post on X.