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How Adam Sandler’s ‘You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah’ drew on real-life Jewish celebrations

(JTA) — To prepare for their role in creating Adam Sandler’s latest movie, crew members hit the Toronto bar and bat mitzvah circuit.

Production designer Perry Blake and set decorator Julia Altschul, guided by a local consultant on the Jewish coming-of-age ceremony, crashed 10 parties within a matter of weeks.

“We saw how amazing and big and outlandish and extravagant they were,” Blake told the Jewish Telegraphic Agency. “With a movie, you usually set your sights high — bigger than the real world. But that was like, wow, the real world is really amazing.”

The team borrowed several features from the events they attended, from 30-foot-wide videos honoring the bar and bat mitzvah celebrants to costly DJs to fanciful lighting displays. All of those led to to the lavish sets in “You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah,” which hits Netflix on Friday.

One circus-themed party inspired the dazzling Carnivale-themed bar mitzvah that opens the film.

“We actually hired one of the people who was working at this circus bar mitzvah to be in our movie,” said Altschul. “She was a stilt walker and she had different outfits. So at the circus bar mitzvah she was a bearded lady and then at ours, she was this really amazing, flamboyant butterfly girl.”

The world of extravagant, euphoric and angst-charged parties for 13-year-olds is the setting of Sandler’s new comedy, a coming-of-age drama that is also an onscreen vehicle for his real-life Jewish family. Sandler plays the befuddled, uncool dad Danny Friedman to Stacy and Ronnie Friedman, portrayed by his real-life daughters, Sunny and Sadie Sandler, while his wife Jackie Sandler has a smaller role as the mother of Stacy’s best friend Lydia.

Idina Menzel, Sandler’s co-star in “Uncut Gems,” reunites with him for “You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah.” (Scott Yamano/Netflix)

The friendship between Stacy and Lydia makes up the backbone of the film, which is based on Fiona Rosenbloom’s 2005 book of the same name. The two girls start out planning their dream bat mitzvah parties together, but a rift over Hebrew school stud Andy Goldfarb (Dylan Hoffman) threatens to destroy both their friendship and their Jewish rites of passage.

Sandler has previously appeared in movies with Jewish themes, including the comedy “You Don’t Mess With the Zohan,” about a legendary Israeli soldier, and acclaimed dramas “The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)” and “Uncut Gems.” (The Jewish actress Idina Menzel starred opposite Sandler in “Uncut Gems,” about the diamond business, and again plays his character’s wife in the new film.)

But none has portrayed a centerpiece of Jewish family life so thoroughly, and so earnestly. “You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah” shows Stacy practicing her Torah portion; agonizing over her “mitzvah project,” a service initiative that many congregations encourage; and meeting with her hipster, often-on-the-treadmill rabbi, played by comedian Sarah Sherman. (The movie, directed by Sammi Cohen and written by Allison Peck, filmed in part at a real Toronto Conservative synagogue, Beth Tzedec.)

For Stacy, Lydia and their friends, the point of the milestone is the party. The movie explores the intense pressure that families, especially in affluent communities, can face to throw the best-ever bash. Bar and bat mitzvah parties in the United States can cost between $10,000 and $40,000, or upwards of $100,000 for families in New York City and Los Angeles, according to The Bash, an event-planning platform — though the price tag can easily rise higher for families that choose pricey venues and entertainment. One 2015 celebration in New Jersey that featured teen idol Nick Jonas reportedly topped $1 million.

Sandler’s character battles back against the pressure. After Stacy demands a private yacht on the Hudson River and pop star Olivia Rodrigo on a jet ski, her father responds: “When I got bar mitzvahed, we had a party in Grandma’s basement. We all split this giant matzo ball. That was the fun. You know what the theme was? Being Jewish!”

One coming-of-age party in particular fueled the crew’s imagination: star Sunny Sandler’s real-life bat mitzvah, which took place in Los Angeles just a few months before the film started shooting. Blake attended the ceremony and the celebration along with Cohen and Peck.

“That was Adam Sandler’s daughter, so it was pretty over-the-top, too,” said Blake.

The event was notable not only for its famous attendees, including Jennifer Aniston, a close family friend, and Jewish director Judd Apatow, who is Sandler’s former roommate. Like the fictional party at the climax of the film, Sunny Sandler’s bat mitzvah was Candyland-themed. Blake took photos of its impressive candy buffet and pink-and-purple color scheme, which directly inspired the movie set.

The crew worked with Heather Glowinsky, the proprietor of Rockpaper Events in Toronto, to sample other glitzy celebrations. But though the crew had fun building elaborate party scenes, they said they also sought to convey the significance of a ritual that unites Jewish families.

“The coolest thing was just seeing that it’s so much about family,” Blake said. “Just seeing the old grandma table with one kid there, or the parents all hanging out and they just know each other, and all the kids know each other from going to Hebrew school.”

Altschul, who has a Jewish father but did not have a bat mitzvah celebration herself, said the bar-and-bat-mitzvah-crashing season made her rethink her own connection to Jewish tradition.

“I realized how much I know about being Jewish,” she said. “I really didn’t consider myself so Jewish, and then I realized that my grandma and my dad had actually instilled so many things in me. So that was a nice discovery.”


The post How Adam Sandler’s ‘You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah’ drew on real-life Jewish celebrations appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.

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McGill cancels talk with former Hamas insider turned Israel advocate, citing fears of violence

McGill University has canceled an on-campus event planned by Jewish students—and temporarily halted bookings for all extracurricular activities—following threats of violence along with a death threat, as outlined in a […]

The post McGill cancels talk with former Hamas insider turned Israel advocate, citing fears of violence appeared first on The Canadian Jewish News.

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US Lawmakers Introduce Bipartisan Bill to Strip Funding From Universities That Boycott Israel

US Rep. Josh Gottheimer (D-NJ) at a press conference in Bergenfield, New Jersey, US on June 5, 2023. Photo: Kyle Mazza/NurPhoto via Reuters Connect

US Reps. Virginia Foxx (R-NC) and Josh Gottheimer (D-NJ) on Tuesday introduced bipartisan legislation to cut off federal funding from universities that engage in boycotts of Israel.

The legislation, titled “The Protect Economic Freedom Act,” would render universities that participate in the boycott, divestment, and sanctions (BDS) movement against Israel ineligible for federal funding under Title IV of the Higher Education Act, prohibiting them from receiving federal student aid. The bill would also mandate that colleges and universities submit evidence that they are not participating in commercial boycotts against the Jewish state. 

“Enough is enough. Appeasing the antisemitic mobs on college campuses threatens the safety of Jewish students and faculty and it undermines the relationship between the US and one of our strongest allies. If an institution is going to capitulate to the BDS movement, there will be consequences — starting with the Protect Economic Freedom Act,” Foxx, chairwoman of the House Committee on Education and the Workforce, said in a statement. 

Gottheimer added that the legislation is necessary to thwart the surging tide of antisemitism on college campuses. Although the lawmaker noted that students are allowed to engage in free expression regarding the ongoing war in Gaza, he argued that blanket boycotts against Israel endanger the lives of Jewish students and community members. 

“The goal of the antisemitic BDS movement is to annihilate the democratic State of Israel, America’s critical ally in the global fight against terror. While students and faculty are free to speak their minds and disagree on policy issues, we cannot allow antisemitism to run rampant and risk the safety and security of Jewish students, staff, faculty, and guests on college campuses,” Gottheimer said in a statement. “The new bipartisan Protect Economic Freedom Act will give the Department of Education a critical new tool to combat the antisemitic BDS movement on college campuses. Now more than ever, we must take the necessary steps to protect our Jewish community.”

The legislation instructs the US Department of Education to keep a record of universities that refuse to confirm their non-participation in anti-Israel boycotts. The list of universities in non-compliance with the legislation would be made publicly available. 

In the year following the Palestinian terrorist group Hamas’s massacre acrosssouthern Israel, universities across the country have found themselves embroiled in controversies regarding campus antisemitism. In the immediate aftermath of the terrorist attacks in Israel, hordes of students and faculty orchestrated protests and demonstrations condemning the Jewish state. Student groups at elite universities such as Harvard and Columbia issued statements blaming Israel for the attacks and expressing support for Hamas. 

Several high-profile universities have also shown a significant level of tolerance for anti-Jewish sentiment festering on their campuses. Northwestern University, for example, capitulated to demands of anti-Israel activists to remove Sabra Hummus from campus dining halls because of its connections to Israel. At Stanford University, Jewish students have reported being forced to condemn Israel before being allowed to enter campus parties. Students at the University of Pennsylvania and Brown University launched unsuccessful attempts to convince the university to divest endowment funds from companies tied to Israel.

The post US Lawmakers Introduce Bipartisan Bill to Strip Funding From Universities That Boycott Israel first appeared on Algemeiner.com.

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Harvard Chaplains Omit Antisemitism From Statement on Antisemitic Incident

Demonstrators take part in an “Emergency Rally: Stand With Palestinians Under Siege in Gaza,” amid the ongoing conflict between Israel and Hamas, at Harvard University in Cambridge, Massachusetts, US, Oct. 14, 2023. Photo: REUTERS/Brian Snyder

Harvard University’s Office of the Chaplain and Religious and Spiritual Life is being criticized by a rising Jewish civil rights activist for omitting any mention of antisemitism from a statement addressing antisemitic behavior.

The sharp words followed the office’s response to a hateful demonstration on campus in which pro-Hamas students stood outside Harvard Hillel and called for it to banned from campus. Such a demand is not new, as it began earlier this semester at the direction of the National Students for Justice in Palestine (NSJP) organization, which coordinates the lion’s share of anti-Zionist activity on college campuses.

As seen in footage of the demonstration, the students chanted “Zionists aren’t welcome here!” and held signs which accused the organization — the largest campus organization for Jewish students in the world — of embracing “war criminals” and genocide.

Addressing the behavior, Harvard Chaplains issued a statement, which is now being pointed to as a symbol of higher education’s indifference to the unique hatred of antisemitism, as well as its permutation as anti-Zionism.

“We have noticed a trend of expression in which entire groups of students are told they ‘are not welcome here’ because of their religious, cultural, ethnic, or political commitments and identities, or are targeted through acts of vandalism,” the office said, seemingly circumventing the matter at hand. “We find this trend disturbing and anathema to the dialogue and connection across lines of difference that must be a central value and practice of a pluralistic institution of higher learning.”

It continued, “Student groups who are singled out in this way experience such language and acts of vandalism as a painful attack that undermines the acceptance and flourishing of religious diversity here at Harvard. Let us all endeavor to care for one another in these divisive times.”

Recent Harvard graduate Shabbos Kestenbaum, who addressed the Republican National Convention in August to discuss the ways which progressive bias in higher education fosters anti-Zionism and anti-Western ideologies, described the statement as a moral failure in a post on X/Twitter on Tuesday.

“Disappointing,” he said. “After Harvard Jews were told by masked students ‘Zionists aren’t welcome here’ outside of the Hillel, the Chaplain Office finally released a statement that did not include the words Jew, Zionism, Israel, or antisemitism. A total abdication of religious responsibility.”

Kestenbaum noted in a later statement that Harvard’s chief diversity and inclusion officer, Sherri Ann Charleston, has so far declined to speak on the issue at all. He charged that when Charleston “isn’t plagiarizing, she and DEI normalize antisemitism,” referring to evidence, first reported by the Washington Free Beacon, that Charleston is a serial plagiarist who climbed the hierarchy of the higher education establishment by pilfering other people’s  scholarship.

Harvard University president Alan Garber — installed after former president Claudine Gay resigned following revelations that she is also a serial plagiarist — has, experts have said, been inconsistent in managing the campus’ unrest.

During summer, The Harvard Crimson reported that Harvard downgraded “disciplinary sanctions” it levied against several pro-Hamas protesters it suspended for illegally occupying Harvard Yard for nearly five weeks, a reversal of policy which defied the university’s previous statements regarding the matter. Unrepentant, the students, members of the group Harvard Out of Occupied Palestine (HOOP), celebrated the revocation of the punishments on social media and promised to disrupt the campus again.

Earlier this semester, however, Garber appeared to denounce a pro-Hamas student group which marked the anniversary of Hamas’s Oct. 7 attacks on Israel by praising the brutal invasion as an act of revolutionary justice that should be repeated until the Jewish state is destroyed, despite having earlier announced a new “institutional neutrality” policy which ostensibly prohibits the university from weighing in on contentious political issues. While Garber ultimately has said more than Gay when the same group praised the Oct. 7 massacre last academic year, his administration’s handling of campus antisemitism has been ambiguous, according to observers — and described even by students who benefited from its being so as “caving in.”

The university’s perceived failure to address antisemitism has had legal consequences.

Earlier this month, a lawsuit accusing it of ignoring antisemitism was cleared to proceed to discovery, a phase of the case which may unearth damaging revelations about how college officials discussed and crafted policy responses to anti-Jewish hatred before and after Hamas’s massacre across southern Israel last Oct. 7.

The case, filed by the Louis D. Brandeis Center for Human Rights Under Law, centers on several incidents involving Harvard Kennedy School professor Marshall Ganz during the 2022-2023 academic year.

Ganz allegedly refused to accept a group project submitted by Israeli students for his course, titled “Organizing: People, Power, Change,” because they described Israel as a “liberal Jewish democracy.” He castigated the students over their premise, the Brandeis Center says, accusing them of “white supremacy” and denying them the chance to defend themselves. Later, Ganz allegedly forced the Israeli students to attend “a class exercise on Palestinian solidarity” and the taking of a class photograph in which their classmates and teaching fellows “wore ‘keffiyehs’ as a symbol of Palestinian support.”

During an investigation of the incidents, which Harvard delegated to a third party firm, Ganz admitted that he believed “that the students’ description of Israel as a Jewish democracy … was similar to ‘talking about a white supremacist state.’” The firm went on to determine that Ganz “denigrated” the Israeli students and fostered “a hostile learning environment,” conclusions which Harvard accepted but never acted on.

Follow Dion J. Pierre @DionJPierre.

The post Harvard Chaplains Omit Antisemitism From Statement on Antisemitic Incident first appeared on Algemeiner.com.

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