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James Gershfield’s new book a paean to his illustrious father
By MYRON LOVE About 25 years ago (or so), I took a class given by Rabbi Allan Green, then still the rabbi at the Beth Israel Synagogue – delving into the meaning of the opening prayers that are recited daily during the morning service. It was one of the more interesting classes that I have taken. Regrettably, he didn’t follow up with more classes exploring the origins and meaning of the prayers we recite in shul.
After reading James Gershfield’s new biography of his father, the late Rabbi Rabbi Edward M. Gershfield, who passed away in 2019 at the age of 86, and his passion for the meanings of words and prayers, I think I would have enjoyed studying with him.
James Gershfield’s “Rabbi Scholar Father Friend: The Life, Thought, Humor, and Wisdom of Rabbi Edward M. Gershfield” is, in a sense, a sequel to “Rainy River Girl,” a memoir of his mother, Toby Gershfield, co-written and published by her son – a former computer software developer who decided a couple of years ago to change direction and founded Scribal Scion Publishing LLC, a small publishing company dedicated to publishing – under the Scribal Scion imprint – Jewish books that inspire and comfort.
As reported a few weeks back in the pages of the Jewish Post, “Rainy River Girl” is the story of Toby Gershfield’s early years growing up in the small southwestern Ontario community where her father Dr. Nathan Helman served as the town dentist. Her mother, Sophie, was the daughter of the esteemed Rabbi Israel Kahanovitch – Western Canada’s foremost rabbi in the interwar years and beyond.
While “Rabbi Scholar Father Friend” does have aspects of a biography – largely in the opening and closing chapters – the 180 page book is more an ode to a beloved and illustrious father.
In his short introduction to “Rabbi Scholar Father Friend”, Gershfield observes that “every person is unique, which is a ‘truism,’ as my late father would say. However, some people have a very unusual combination of personal strengths, knowledge, insights and personality that make it worthwhile to get to know them and their life stories”.
He notes that his father combined a variety of qualities that made the elder Gershfield’s life, thought, humour, and wisdom worth studying. His father, he writes, “was a rabbi, a scholar, a father, and a friend. He was also a beloved teacher, an innovative thinker, a gifted orator, a respected adviser to other rabbis, an expert on comparative Jewish and Roman law, a beautiful singer of Jewish prayers, and a talented Hebrew scribe who administered and wrote many Jewish divorce documents, known as Gittin.”
Ed Gershfield was born and grew up in Winnipeg. “Rabbi Scholar Father Friend” chronicles his early years here. The future rabbi actually had a largely secular education – having attended Machray Elementary School and St John’s.
While he did attend synagogue – the Tiferes Israel (aka the Mezhiricher shul) regularly with his father, it was at Talmud Torah (evening school) that his love of Judaism was inculcated. The most important influences were his cheder teacher Mr. Klein and Rabbi Avraham Kravetz, the school’s principal. It was Rabbi Kravetz who recognized promise in the young Gershfield and encouraged him to consider the rabbinical life.
Rabbi Kravetz encouraged his young protégé to enrol in the Jewish Theological Seminary with the idea that, according to James Gershfield, after he received his ordination he would return to Winnipeg to lead a new Jewish Studies Department that Rabbi Kravetz was hoping to establish at the University of Manitoba. When that didn’t materialize, the newly ordained Rabbi Gershfield decided to remain in Manhattan.
Although he did serve as a congregational rabbi for a couple of years early in his career – and again in the early 1980s, his true passions was for teaching and scholarship. In addition to his study at the JTS, he earned an MA in Latin from Columbia University and a PhDl in the study of Jewish law, as compared to Roman Law.
He was one of America’s pre-eminent experts in the field. He also became a specialist in granting Jewish divorces (gittin). His son devotes entire chapters to the subject of gittin and his father’s study of Roman law.
Readers, I am sure, will also enjoy Rabbi Gershfield’s thoughts on Jews and Judaism, examples of his words and wisdom and humour, some of his stories and his analyses of the meanings of some Hebrew words, expressions and prayers in the siddur.
“This book was written from my perspective as his son,” writes James Gershfield, “and is based on both my personal experiences and the knowledge that I have gained about his life from people who knew him, and from his writings and audio recordings.
“Once my father turned 80 years old, I felt that there were many times in my life when I had not paid enough attention to what he was saying, and I was sure that there were many things that he said that I didn’t remember. So, I made an extra effort during the next several years to listen carefully to any stories that he would tell, and to write them down so that I could remember them and preserve them. Many of those stories and thoughts are in this book.”
Rabbi Gershfield passed away in 2019 at the age of 86.
“While I worked as a software engineer for over forty years,” notes James in the book, “I gradually came to understand that you don’t need to be a pulpit rabbi to have a strong connection to Judaism and Jewish learning. As I got older, I gradually figured out a way to connect with my father in a way that we could both understand each other. That is the intended meaning behind the title of this book: “Rabbi Scholar Father Friend”. My relationship with him developed over time from him being my rabbi, which never changed, to a scholar, to my father and finally to being my friend.”
“Rabbi Scholar Father Friend” is available in both paperback and hard cover on Amazon.
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Why People in Israel Can Get Emotionally Attached to AI—and How to Keep It Healthy
Let’s start with the uncomfortable truth that’s also kind of relieving: getting emotionally attached to a Joi.com AI isn’t “weird.” It’s human. Our brains are attachment machines. Give us a voice that feels warm, consistent, and attentive—especially one that shows up on demand—and our nervous system goes, “Oh. Safety. Connection.” Even if the rational part of you knows it’s software, the emotional part responds to the experience.
Now, if we’re talking about Jewish people in Israel specifically, it’s worth saying this carefully: there isn’t one “Jewish Israeli psychology.” People differ wildly by age, religiosity, community, language, politics, relationship status, and life history. But there are some real-life conditions common in Israel—high tech adoption, a fast-paced social environment, chronic background stress for many, and strong cultural emphasis on connection—that can make AI companionship feel especially appealing for some individuals. Not because of religion or ethnicity as a trait, but because of context and pressure.
So if you’ve noticed yourself—or someone you know—getting attached to an AI companion, the goal isn’t to panic or label it as unhealthy by default. The goal is to understand why it feels good and make sure it stays supportive rather than consuming.
Why attachment happens so fast (the psychology in plain language)
Attachment isn’t just about romance. It’s about regulation. When you feel seen, your body calms down. When you feel ignored, your body gets edgy. AI companions can offer something that’s rare in real life: consistent responsiveness. No scheduling. No misunderstandings (most of the time). No “I’m too tired to talk.” Just a steady stream of attention.
From an attachment perspective, that steadiness can act like a soft emotional “hug.” For someone with anxious attachment, it can feel like relief: finally, a connection that doesn’t disappear. For someone with avoidant tendencies, it can feel safe because it’s intimacy without the risk of being overwhelmed by a real person’s needs. For someone simply lonely or stressed, it can feel like a quiet exhale.
And unlike human relationships, AI won’t judge your worst timing. You can message at 2:00 a.m., when your thoughts are loud and the apartment is silent, and you’ll still get an answer that sounds caring. That alone is powerful.
Why it can feel especially relevant in Israel (for some people)
Israel is a small country with a big emotional load for many people—again, not universally, but often enough that it shapes daily life. A lot of people live with a background hum of stress, whether it’s personal, economic, or tied to the broader environment. When life feels intense, the appeal of a stable, gentle interaction grows. Not because you’re fragile—because you’re tired.
Add a few more very normal realities:
High tech comfort is cultural. Israel has a strong tech culture. People are used to tools that solve problems quickly. If you’re already comfortable with digital solutions, trying an AI companion doesn’t feel like a strange leap.
Time is tight. Between work, family responsibilities, reserve duty for some, long commutes, or simply the pace of urban life, many people don’t have the energy for long, messy social processes. AI can feel like connection without the logistics.
Social circles can be both close and complicated. Israeli society can be community-oriented, which is beautiful—until it’s also intense. In tight-knit circles, dating and relationships sometimes come with social pressure, opinions, and “everyone knows everyone.” A private AI chat can feel like a relief: no gossip, no explanations, no performance.
Language and identity complexity. Many Jewish Israelis move between languages and cultures (Hebrew, Russian, English, French, Amharic, Arabic for some). AI chat can become a low-stakes space to express yourself in the language you feel most “you” in—without feeling judged for accent, vocabulary, or code-switching.
None of this means “Israelis are more likely” in any absolute sense. It means there are situational reasons why AI companionship can feel particularly soothing or convenient for some people living there.
The good side: when AI attachment is healthy
Emotional attachment isn’t automatically a problem. Sometimes it’s simply a sign that something is working: you feel supported. You feel calmer. You’re expressing yourself more. You’re practicing communication instead of shutting down. You’re less likely to make impulsive choices from loneliness.
Healthy use often looks like:
You feel better after chatting, not worse.
You can still enjoy your real life—friends, work, hobbies, family.
You don’t hide it in shame; you just treat it like a tool or pastime.
You use the AI to practice skills you bring into real relationships: clarity, boundaries, confidence, emotional regulation.
In that version, AI companionship is closer to journaling with feedback, or a comforting ritual—like a cup of tea at the end of the day, not a replacement for dinner.
Where it can slip into unhealthy territory (quietly)
The danger isn’t “having feelings.” The danger is outsourcing your emotional world to something that will never truly share responsibility.
Warning signs usually look like:
You cancel plans with humans because the AI feels easier.
You feel anxious when you’re not chatting, like you’re missing something.
You start needing the AI to reassure you constantly.
Your standards for human relationships collapse (“Humans are too complicated, AI is enough”).
You feel a “crash” after chatting—more lonely, more restless, more disconnected.
The biggest red flag is when the AI becomes your only reliable source of comfort. That’s not because AI is evil. It’s because any single source of emotional regulation—human or non-human—can become a dependency.
How to keep it healthy (without killing the fun)
Here’s the approach that works best: don’t ban it, contain it.
Give it a role.
Decide what the AI is for in your life: playful flirting, stress relief, practicing communication, roleplay, bedtime decompression. A defined role prevents the relationship from becoming vague and all-consuming.
Set a “time container.”
Not as punishment—just as hygiene. For example: 20 minutes at night, or during commute time, or only on certain days. Ending while you still feel good is the secret. Don’t chat until you feel hollow.
Keep one human anchor active.
A friend you text, a weekly family dinner, a class, a gym routine, a community event—something that keeps your real social muscles moving. In Israel, community can be a huge protective factor when it’s supportive. Use it.
Use consent and boundary language even with AI.
It sounds odd, but it trains your brain in healthy dynamics:
“Slow down. Keep it playful, not intense.”
“No jealousy talk. I don’t like that vibe.”
“Tonight I want comfort, not advice.”
If you can do that with an AI, you’ll be better at doing it with humans.
Watch the “replacement” impulse.
If you catch yourself thinking, “I don’t need anyone else,” pause and ask: is that empowerment—or is it avoidance? Sometimes it’s a protective story your brain tells when it’s tired of disappointment.
Check in with your body after.
Not your thoughts—your body. Calm? Lighter? More grounded? Good sign. Agitated? Empty? Restless? Time to adjust.
And if you’re noticing that AI use is feeding anxiety, sleep problems, isolation, or obsessive thinking, it may help to talk to a mental health professional—especially someone who understands attachment patterns. That’s not a dramatic step. It’s basic self-care.
People in Israel—Jewish Israelis included—can get attached to AI for the same reason people everywhere do: it offers consistent attention in an inconsistent world. Add the local realities of stress, pace, and social complexity, and it can feel even more comforting for some individuals. The healthiest path isn’t to judge yourself for it. It’s to use it intentionally, keep your human life active, and treat the AI as a supportive tool—not the center of your emotional universe.
Features
Three generations of Wernicks all chose to become rabbis
By GERRY POSNER Recently I was at a Shabbat service at Beth Tzedec Synagogue in Toronto and the day unfolded in some unexpected ways for me.
It began when I was asked to be a Gabbai for the service, that is to stand up at the table where the Torah is placed and to check the Torah reading to make sure there are no errors. I have done this before and it has always gone smoothly. I attribute that fact in large part to the Torah reading ability of the reader at Beth Synagogue. He is fast, fluent and flawless. Well, on this particular day after he had completed the first two portions, he began the shlishi or third aliyah. I could not find his reading anywhere. It was as if he had started somewhere fresh, but not where he was supposed to be. I looked at the other Gabbai and he did not seem to recognize what had happened either. So, I let it go. I had no idea where the Torah reader was. He then did another and still I was lost. He came to what was the 6th aliyah when a clergy member walked over to him and indicated to him that he had read the fourth and fifth aliyah, but that he had missed the third one. The Torah reader then said to me “this is what you are here for.” Now, it might have been one thing if I had missed it entirely. Alas, I saw the error, but let it go as I deferred to the Torah reader since he never makes a mistake. He ended up going back to do the third aliyah before continuing on. This was a very unusual event in the synagogue. I felt responsible in large part for this gaffe. A lesson learned.
The feeling of embarrassment was compounded by the fact that on this particular day the service was highlighted, at least for me, because of the rabbi delivering the sermon. This rabbi, Eugene Wernick, was none other than the father of my present rabbi, Steven Wernick of Beth Tzedec Synagogue. He was also the same rabbi who was the rabbi at Shaarey Zedek between 1979-1986 and who had officiated at my father’s funeral in 1981, also a few years later at my oldest son’s Bar Mitzvah in Winnipeg in 1984. As I listened to him speak, I was taken back to the 1980s, when Rabbi Gene was in the pulpit at Shaarey Zedek. Of course, he is older now than in his Shaarey Zedek days, but the power of his voice was unchanged. If anything, it’s even stronger. As in the past, his message was relevant to all of us and resonated well. Listening to him was a treat for me. Still, my regret in not calling out the mistake from the Torah reading was compounded by the fact that I messed up in front of my former rabbi, Eugene Wernick – never mind my present rabbi, Steven Werinck.
On this Shabbat morning, aside from all the other people present, there were not only the two Rabbis Wernick, but one Michelle Wernick was also there. Michelle, daughter of Rabbi Steven Wernick, is a first year student at the Jewish Theological Seminary. She is following in the family business – much like with the Rose rabbinical family in Winnipeg.
As it turned out, there was a Bat Mitzvah that day. And the Bat Mitzvah family had a very real Winnipeg connection as in the former Leah Potash, mother of the Bat Mitzvah girl, Emmie Bank and the daughter of Reuben and Gail Potash (Thau). It occurred to me that there might be a few Winnipeg people in the crowd. As I scanned the first few rows, I was not disappointed. Sitting there was none other than Chana Thau and her husband Michael Eleff. I managed to have a chat with Chana (even during the Musaf service). In the row right behind Chana and Michael was a face I had not seen in close to sixty years. I refer to Allan Berkal, the eldest son of the former rabbi and chazan at Shaarey Zedek, Louis Berkal. I still remember the first time I met Allan at Hebrew School in 1954 when his family moved to Winnipeg from Grand Forks, North Dakota. That was many maftirs ago. So this was another highlight moment for me.
Of course, there are other Winnipeggers who attend Beth Tzedec most Shabbats. I speak of Morley Goldberg and his wife, the former Marcia Billinkoff Schnoor. As well, Bernie Rubenstein and his wife, the former Sheila Levene were also present for this particular Shabbat. In all, this Shabbat had a particularly Winnipeg flavour to it. Truth be told, you do not have to go far in Toronto at any synagogue and the Winnipeg connections emerge.