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When It Comes to Forgiveness, Should We Follow Erika Kirk’s Lead?
A Torah scroll. Photo: Wikimedia Commons.
“I forgive you!”
Those words are meant to be liberating. They suggest magnanimity and grace, as well as a strength of character that transcends the darkest human impulses. But sometimes, forgiveness can be confusing, or even disturbing.
Last week, Charlie Kirk’s widow, Erika, stunned the world by publicly forgiving her husband’s murderer. “That young man … I forgive him, I forgive him because it was what Christ did, and it’s what Charlie would do.”
News bulletins led with the story, and podcasters and bloggers couldn’t get enough of it. Most praised her declaration as a shining example of Christian love and mercy — an extraordinary display of turning the other cheek. And yes, on one level, it is moving: a grieving widow finding the strength to release her pain and anger rather than being consumed by it.
But others found it unsettling. And truthfully, Judaism is deeply cautious about such an act of forgiveness. After all, what right does Erika Kirk have to forgive a murderer for murder? She can forgive him for the pain he caused her — that much is hers to grant. But she cannot absolve him for the life he stole. Only the victim himself could do that, and as much as she may imagine that’s what Charlie would have done, he is gone.
And beyond that, justice demands that such a heinous crime be punished. Otherwise, what is left of law, of morality, of human dignity?
The Rambam makes this caution concrete. If you wrong another person, there can be no teshuva until you go and ask forgiveness from them directly. God will not erase a sin committed against your fellow human unless you first seek reconciliation with the person you wronged.
But even once human forgiveness is granted, you are not off the hook with God. Because when you hurt another person, you also wrong God Himself — the One who created that person in His image.
This tension between forgiveness and justice isn’t just a private, personal dilemma. Whole societies have had to wrestle with it.
After World War II, the world was faced with horrors on a scale that defied imagination. Those few Jews who had survived the concentration camps and death marches were walking skeletons, barely able to function.
The Nazi atrocities were so vast and so grotesque, that trying to address them via normal legal channels was deemed utterly impossible. Some suggested that it would be best to move on, bury the past rather than let it fester – as it had with Germany after World War I, which created the perfect storm for the next world war to erupt a quarter of a century later.
But brighter heads prevailed, and the Nuremberg Trials were a bold statement that there can be no reconciliation without accountability. You can’t just forgive mass murderers and architects of genocide – people who set out to murder an entire people – in the name of peace. Clemency without justice would have mocked the victims and denied the truth.
Half a century later, another society faced its own reckoning. When apartheid finally collapsed in South Africa, the country stood at a dangerous crossroads. The white minority feared violent retribution, the black majority demanded justice, and the entire nation was teetering on the edge of civil war.
This time, a different kind of solution was devised. Archbishop Desmond Tutu presided over the Truth and Reconciliation Commission, which wasn’t perfect by any means – but it was ingenious. It didn’t simply grant blanket forgiveness in the name of “moving on.”
The TRC set a bar. Amnesty would only be offered to those who came forward, confessed their crimes in detail, and faced their victims in person. The premise was down-to-earth yet profound: reconciliation can only occur when truth is spoken, guilt is acknowledged, and victims can find some measure of catharsis.
Both Nuremberg and South Africa teach the same lesson: real reconciliation is never cheap if it is going to be meaningful. You can’t just wave the magic “I forgive you” wand and wish away the bad stuff.
Forgiveness must always be bound up with accountability, acknowledgement of wrong, and some kind of reckoning. Otherwise, it’s not reconciliation at all — it’s denial. And even then, even once you have faced up to what you have done wrong, it doesn’t imply that you have reconciled with God. That is the next step in the process.
When you wrong another person, you’ve committed two sins at once: you’ve harmed them, and you’ve also rebelled against God, who created them in His image.
Making amends with your friend, your neighbor, your colleague — that’s essential. Rambam says you cannot move forward until you’ve done it. But even if they forgive you, you are not finished. You still need to turn to God and admit, ‘I fell short of what You expect from me.’
That is the beating heart of Yom Kippur. We don’t just fast and wear white as if the day itself works some kind of cleansing magic. We come together to confront the truth of who we are, and to speak it out loud in viddui — confession. We don’t sugarcoat and we don’t hide. We stand in front of each other, and in front of God, and we say: ashamnu, bagadnu — we have sinned, we have betrayed.
It is truth first, reconciliation second. And when those two steps come together — when we seek forgiveness from people we have wronged, and then seek forgiveness from God Himself — only then is atonement real. Only then is reconciliation complete.
So what about October 7th? Can we – now that an end to the war is finally in sight, and all the remaining hostages are hopefully on their way home – do what Erika Kirk did and say to Hamas, “we forgive you”?
The answer is a resounding no. To do that would be neither acceptable, nor appropriate. You cannot forgive mass murder, rape, and barbarity with a wave of the hand, nor can you forgive on behalf of those who were slaughtered, mutilated, or abducted.
First, there must be acknowledgment by Hamas — a confession of wrongdoing. Then, there must be a process of reconciliation with those whom they harmed. Only after that, if it ever happened, could the question of human forgiveness and divine forgiveness even be contemplated.
Until then, notwithstanding the need to end the conflict and rebuild, justice must be pursued, the truth must be spoken, and our dignity as a people must demand that forgiveness can never be cheap.
The author is a writer in Beverly Hills, California.
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British Jews Say Yom Kippur Attack Was Just a Matter of Time as Israel Demands UK Crack Down on ‘Incitement’
People gather near the scene, after an attack in which a car was driven at pedestrians and stabbings were reported at a synagogue in north Manchester, Britain, on Yom Kippur, Oct. 2, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Phil Noble
British Jewish leaders warned that Thursday’s terrorist attack on a synagogue in Manchester was a long-feared tragedy, accusing the government of fueling a hostile environment and rising anti-Jewish hatred through its anti-Israel rhetoric.
On Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement and holiest day of the year in Judaism, a man identified by police as Jihad al-Shamie, 35, drove a car onto the grounds of the Heaton Park Hebrew Congregation synagogue in Manchester, northern England, and went on a stabbing spree, leaving two Jewish men dead and at least three others critically injured.
The attack occurred as the congregation gathered to observe Yom Kippur and ended seven minutes later, when police shot the assailant dead.
The chief rabbi of the United Kingdom, Sir Ephraim Mirvis, said the attack was a tragedy the British Jewish community had long feared — “the day we hoped we would never see, but which deep down, we knew would come.”
“For so long we have witnessed an unrelenting wave of Jew hatred on our streets, on campuses, on social media, and elsewhere — this is the tragic result,” Mirvis wrote in a post on X.
“This not only an assault on the Jewish community, but an attack on the very foundations of humanity and the values of compassion, dignity, and respect which we all share,” he continued.
Our hearts are shattered.
Emerging from the holy fast of Yom Kippur, British Jews are now grasping the full extent of today’s terror attack at the Heaton Park Synagogue in Manchester.
This is the day we hoped we would never see, but which deep down, we knew would come.
For…
— Chief Rabbi Sir Ephraim Mirvis (@chiefrabbi) October 2, 2025
Pinchas Goldschmidt, president of the Conference of European Rabbis, also condemned the deadly terrorist attack, calling on the British government to take stronger action to “stamp out murderous ideologies.”
“Jews in Manchester, England, woke up this morning to pray, and were murdered in their own synagogue. Governments from the world over should spare us the statements about fighting antisemitism and instead ensure Jews are safe,” Goldschmidt wrote in a post on X.
Israeli Foreign Minister Gideon Saar strongly denounced the attack and accused British authorities of inciting hatred, saying the local Jewish community in Britain is “currently suffering from a horrific wave of antisemitism.”
“The truth must be told: blatant and rampant antisemitic and anti-Israeli incitement, as well as calls of support for terror, have recently become a widespread phenomenon in the streets of London, in cities across Britain, and on its campuses,” the top Israeli diplomat said in a post on X.
“The authorities in Britain have failed to take the necessary action to curb this toxic wave of antisemitism and have effectively allowed it to persist,” Saar continued.
“We expect more than words from the Starmer government,” he added, referring to British Prime Minister Keir Starmer. “We expect and demand a change of course, effective action, and enforcement against the rampant antisemitic and anti-Israeli incitement in Britain.”
I am appalled by the murderous attack near the Heaton Park Synagogue in Manchester on the morning of the holiest day for the Jewish people: Yom Kippur.
My deepest condolences go to the families who have lost their loved ones,and I wish a swift and full recovery to the injured.…— Gideon Sa’ar | גדעון סער (@gidonsaar) October 2, 2025
As the investigation continues and the local Jewish community mourns the victims of the deadly attack, the British government has called for an anti-Israel protest scheduled for Saturday in London to be canceled. The demonstration is being organized by a group called Defend Our Juries to oppose the British government’s decision in July to ban the group Palestine Action under anti-terrorism laws.
Raucous anti-Israel, pro-Palestinian demonstrations erupted in London on Yom Kippur on Thursday, following the attack in Manchester.
Pro-Pals took over the streets of central London last night. Set off fireworks in the busiest parts. Chanted for Israel’s destruction. And I don’t see a single police officer. So do racist thugs run our capital now? It’s like a nightmare dystopia. @metpoliceuk pic.twitter.com/AA6VqwNQ4K
— Heidi Bachram
(@HeidiBachram) October 2, 2025
Home Secretary Shabana Mahmood urged demonstrators to “step back” from plans to hold marches this weekend.
“I do think that carrying on in this way does feel un-British, it feels wrong,” Mahmood said.
However, the anti-Israel group behind protests against the ban on Palestine Action announced it still intends to proceed with the march.
In a statement, the group called on local police to “prioritize protecting the community, rather than arresting those peacefully holding signs” in support of Palestine Action.
Mahmood also said she was “disappointed” that pro-Palestinian protests went ahead on Thursday in the aftermath of the synagogue attack.
As British Jews gathered to observe Yom Kippur, widespread anti-Israel demonstrations erupted across the UK. In Manchester, a pro-Palestinian protest unfolded in the city center, while in London, clashes broke out between police and demonstrators opposing the Israeli navy’s interception of a Gaza-bound flotilla.
Decent folk mourn the horrific terrorist murder of Jews in Manchester
Yet this bunch see fit to hoot and toot in London; perhaps they are pro Hamas? pic.twitter.com/cI5Dm1xHoN
— Richard Tice MP
(@TiceRichard) October 2, 2025
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Trump Gives Hamas Until Sunday Night to Reach Gaza Deal or ‘All HELL’ Will Break Out
US President Donald Trump in the Oval office of the White House in Washington, DC, US, Sept. 30, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Ken Cedeno
US President Donald Trump gave Palestinian Hamas terrorists until Sunday evening to accept his proposal to end the nearly two-year-old war with US ally Israel in the Gaza Strip or “all HELL” would break out.
“An agreement must be reached with Hamas by Sunday Evening at SIX (6) PM, Washington, DC time,” Trump posted on social media on Friday. “Every Country has signed on! If this LAST CHANCE agreement is not reached, all HELL, like no one has ever seen before, will break out against Hamas.”
The plan specifies an immediate ceasefire, an exchange of all hostages held by Hamas for Palestinian prisoners held by Israel, a staged Israeli withdrawal from Gaza, the disarmament of Hamas, and the introduction of a transitional government led by an international body.
Trump first presented his plan to leaders and officials from Egypt, Indonesia, Jordan, Saudi Arabia, Turkey, Pakistan, Qatar, and the United Arab Emirates, on the sidelines of last week’s UN General Assembly.
Mediators Qatar and Egypt then shared the 20-point plan with Hamas late on Monday after Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu appeared alongside Trump at the White House and endorsed the document, saying it satisfied Israel‘s war aims.
‘INTENSIVE DISCUSSION’ UNDER WAY ON HAMAS RESPONSE
Hamas was not involved in the negotiations that led to the proposal, which calls on the Islamist group to disarm, a demand it has previously rejected.
Asked whether his group had finalized its response to Trump’s Gaza plan, a Hamas official told Reuters late on Thursday: “Not yet, intensive discussion is under way.” The official said Hamas had held talks with Arab mediators, Turkey and Palestinian factions to shape “the Palestinian response.”
On Tuesday, Trump said he would give Hamas three to four days to accept the plan. On Friday he described Hamas as a “ruthless and violent threat in the Middle East.”
In his Truth Social post on Friday, Trump made an apparent reference to Israel‘s offensive in Gaza City. He said remaining Hamas terrorists in Gaza are trapped and “will be hunted down, and killed” without a deal, and warned “innocent Palestinians” to leave for safer areas of Gaza.
Israel blocked Gaza City’s main road on Thursday and has told its million residents to flee south, warning it was their last chance to escape a major offensive.
TRUMP PLAN ‘A WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY,’ UN AID CHIEF SAYS
“President Trump’s Gaza initiative opens a window of opportunity. It offers both a chance for Palestinians to receive life-saving aid at the scale urgently needed, and to bring the hostages home,” UN aid chief Tom Fletcher said in a statement on Friday. “We are ready and eager to act.”
Trump’s plan calls for aid to Gaza to be distributed without interference by neutral international groups, with the UN promising 170,000 metric tons ready to enter.
Israel began its offensive in Gaza after the Oct. 7, 2023, Hamas-led attack on Israel in which some 1,200 people were killed and 251 taken as hostages back to Gaza. Israel responded with a military campaign aimed at freeing the hostages and dismantling Hamas’s military capabilities and political rule in neighboring Gaza.
Trump said in his Friday post that “more than 25,000 Hamas ‘soldiers’ have already been killed.” Hamas rarely discloses fatalities among its fighters.
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Israeli Military Intercepts Final Gaza Flotilla Boat as Pro-Hamas Protests Erupt in Europe
Sailing boats, part of the Global Sumud Flotilla aiming to reach Gaza and break Israel’s naval blockade, sail off Koufonisi islet, Greece, Sept. 26, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Stefanos Rapanis
The Israeli military intercepted the last boat in a flotilla attempting to break Israel’s blockade of Gaza on Friday, a day after stopping most of the vessels and detaining some 450 activists including Swedish campaigner Greta Thunberg.
The organizers of the Global Sumud Flotilla said the Marinette was intercepted some 42.5 nautical miles (79 km) from Gaza. Israeli army radio said the navy had taken control of the last ship in the flotilla, detained those aboard, and that the vessel was being led to Ashdod port in Israel.
In a statement, the Global Sumud Flotilla said Israeli naval forces had now “illegally intercepted all 42 of our vessels — each carrying humanitarian aid, volunteers, and the determination to break Israel’s illegal siege on Gaza.”
For nearly two decades Gaza has been ruled by the Palestinian terrorist group Hamas, which openly seeks Israel’s destruction and started the current war with its Oct. 7, 2023, invasion of and massacre across southern Israel.
However, in another attempt to challenge Israel‘s naval blockade, a new flotilla comprising 11 vessels was attempting to make its way to Gaza on Friday, organizers said, including a vessel carrying medics and journalists.
A live-tracker shared by the organizers showed the boats sailing southeast in the Mediterranean between the Greek island of Crete and Egypt, while live footage from one of the boats showed activists chanting for a “Free Palestine.”
MARINETTE PASSENGERS CLAIM TO SEE A WAR SHIP
A camera broadcasting from the Marinette showed someone holding up a note saying “We see a ship! It’s a war ship”, before a boat is seen approaching and soldiers boarding. A voice is heard telling the people on board not to move and to put their hands in the air.
An Israeli foreign ministry spokesperson did not immediately respond to a request for comment about the boat’s status.
The flotilla, which set sail in late August, marked the latest attempt by activists to challenge the Israeli naval blockade of the territory where Israel has been waging an offensive to dismantle Hamas and free the hostages kidnapped by the terrorist group during its Oct. 7 attack.
Israeli officials have repeatedly denounced the mission as a stunt. The foreign ministry had said the flotilla was previously warned that it was approaching an active combat zone and violating a “lawful naval blockade,” and asked organizers to change course. It had offered to transfer aid to Gaza.
The Israeli foreign ministry on Friday said that four Italians had been deported. “The rest are in the process of being deported. Israel is keen to end this procedure as quickly as possible,” it said in a statement. All the flotilla participants were “safe and in good health,” it added.
The Italian government identified the four Italians as parliamentarians who would fly back to Rome on Friday.
Pro-Palestinian demonstrators took to the streets in cities across Europe as well as in Karachi, Buenos Aires, and Mexico City on Thursday to protest the flotilla’s interception.
On Friday, tens of thousands of Italians demonstrated, as part of a day-long general strike called by unions in support of the flotilla.
BEN-GVIR CALLS ACTIVISTS ‘TERRORISTS’
During a visit to Ashdod on Thursday night, Israel‘s far-right National Security Minister Itamar Ben-Gvir was filmed calling the activists “terrorists” as he stood in front of them.
“These are the terrorists of the flotilla,” he said, speaking in Hebrew and pointing at dozens of people sitting on the ground. His spokesperson confirmed the video was filmed at Ashdod port on Thursday night.
Some activists are heard shouting “Free Palestine.”
Cyprus said one of the flotilla boats had docked in Cyprus with 21 foreigners aboard. Crew from the vessel, “Summer Time”, said it was an observer mission carrying doctors and journalists.
“Nobody has the right to be a pirate of the sea and enforce whatever they want to do and I think we are equal,” Palestinian crew member Osama Qashoo told journalists.
Israel faced international condemnation and protest after it intercepted all of the 40 or so boats in the flotilla and detained more than 450 activists from different countries.