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Former Winnipegger Rabbi Shawn Zell’s new book a reflection on loss of loved ones
By MYRON LOVE Rabbi Shawn Zell’s newest publication, “Meaningful Mourning: Reflecting on the Life and Death of a Loved One,” is a thought-provoking and comprehesive contemplation of dealing with the process of grieving. In essence, “Meaningful Mourning” is a follow up to the former Winnipegger’s earlier book, “For Those Who Grieve,” which was published three years ago.
In an earlier interview with the Jewish Post regarding “For Those Who Grieve,”, Rabbi Zell noted that “one of the greatest frustrations when it comes to a shivah house is that, all too often, the atmosphere leaves much to be desired” – with people telling jokes, catching up on gossip and generally avoiding the subject of death and dying rather than rather than “sharing words of comfort and reflection and anecdotes and recollections of the deceased.”
“For Those Who Grieve,” he continues, aims to replace “tired and worn” readings in current shivah books with his own compositions which, he hopes, will give readers “new food for thought” that may “serve as a source of comfort to the bereaved and render the atmosphere of the shivah house more meaningful.”
‘What compelled me to write Meaningful Mourning”, Rabbi Zell says, “is to offer suggestions that may help clergy as well as others are uncomfortable dealing with.”
He cites, as an example, the funeral of a mentally-handicapped individual in our community roughly 50 years ago where Rabbi Peretz Weizman officiated. The individual was hit by a bus.
“I still recall Rabbi Weizman’s well-thought out words that the deceased had a tragic life and died a tragic death.”
Rabbi Zell also spoke of a more recent funeral at which he officiated where the widow was very angry that her husband had died. “The deceased had become involved in a dispute with the city over some property. His wife was adamant that he not try to fight city hall. He persisted and died of a heart attack. I tried to focus on appreciation of his life.”
In the introduction to “Meaningful Mourning,” he notes that “rifts in families are not uncommon. But how many readings in our canon broach such subjects?” he asks.
“And,” he continues, while Judaism makes it quite clear that you should choose life over death, there are occasions when one gives up one’s life to protect others.”
“Meaningful Mourning” consists of 15 chapters, each with a specific theme and each divided into a series of two-page readings – consisting of an exposition of how each day of the week, each month of the year, every Jewish festival, can provide comfort to mourners. Each reading also consists of a relevant poem and psalm.
In the first chapter, for example – which focuses on the daily order of creation, one comment in particular caught my attention – and made me think: When someone I know died suddenly, I sometimes wonder what that individual had planned for the rest of the day, what celebrations were coming up, what trip might the deceased have been looking forward to?
I recall one fellow coming to the evening minyans at my shul to say kaddish for his brother. Then, one day, he didn’t appear. I subsequently heard that he had developed an infection and died unexpectedly. I remember thinking that he wasn’t supposed to die. He still had several months left to say kaddish.
As Zell points out in “Meaningful Mourning,” “unlike the creation process, death does not necessarily wait for the deceased to complete everything he hoped to accomplish. In many cases, death has been compared to an unfinished symphony.
“From the Jewish perspective, the Angel of Death has little, if any, regard for projects yet to be completed, plans yet to be realized and dreams yet to be fulfilled.”
Another reading speaks of the signs of the zodiac and their connections to the equivalent Jewish months. “The sign for the month of Shvat is Aquarius, the water carrier,” Zell observes. “In Judaism, water is prayed for because water is seen as a blessing. But what happens when the natural flow of water is interrupted? How do we respond when tranquil water is usurped by troubled or turbulent water i.e., death?
“In a perfect world, the mourner would find solace in believing that he enriched with happiness and joy the one who was summoned from above.”
The accompanying reading with this topic is a poem intended to bring some comfort for mourners who are overcome with remorse or regret.
In “One Small Step,” Zell riffs on the immortal words of astronaut Neil Armstrong, the first man to step foot on the moon. “Little did Neil Armstrong realize that he was echoing the words of many a religious leader counselling a bereaved individual,” the rabbi comments. “Mourning that is proper and effective is a process of small steps and giant leaps.”
A leap of faith is necessary for several reasons, Zell adds, most of all so that the mourner is not consumed by pangs of guilt for not having been a better child, sibling or spouse. He quotes Ecclesiastes in saying that “when the dead is at rest, let his remembrance rest.”
“I hope that the readings in this book help to lessen the pain for the bereaved,” he writes.
Zell, who was formerly the spiritual leader of Congregation Tiferet Israel in Dallas, grew up in Winnipeg. The son of the late Ida and Phil Zell was initially ordained as a Conservative rabbi in the mid-1980s. He served in pulpits in that capacity in Sioux City, Iowa, and Clark, New Jersey. In 2004-2006 – while between congregations, he received his Orthodox smicha. He currently lives in retirement in New Jersey..
“Meaningful Mourning” is his fourth book – and his third focusing on different aspects of death and mourning. The book was published by Scribal Scion Publishers out of Teaneck, New Jersey.
Local News
Richard Morantz and Sheree Walder contribute $1 million to ongoing Shaarey Zedek Synagogue Capital Campaign
By MYRON LOVE “We really welcome the decision of Richard Morantz and Sheree Walder to donate $1-million to our ongoing capital campaign,” said Rena Secter Elbaze, the Shaarey Zedek Synagogue’s executive director, on October 9. “They and their families have a long history of supporting our community organizations and the State of Israel. Their contribution to the Shaarey Zedek is inspirational.”
The husband and wife team officially presented the cheque to Elbaze at a brief ceremony at the synagogue the morning of October 9, in the newly renamed Richard Morantz and Sheree Walder Auditorium.
In their remarks, both Morantz, the president and CEO of Globe Property Management, and Walder, a lawyer who is a former partner in the law firm Myers LLP, spoke of their long family connection to the Shaarey Zedek. “My mother’s family were Jewish pioneers in Winnipeg,” Walder noted. “My great-grandfather, Samuel Cohen, for whom I am named, was an original member of Shaarey Zedek Synagogue. I started coming here with my own grandfather, Sidney Cohen, when I was about two years old. I remember exactly which pew we sat in and how my grandfather helped me to follow along in the siddur during services. Shaarey Zedek has always been a place of great comfort for me.”
Morantz added that his own bar mitzvah took place at Shaarey Zedek Synagogue on April 29, 1972. “I learned my maftir from the legendary Rabbi Berkal,” he recalled. “We continued to celebrate here with our own children’s bar and bat mitzvahs. I am very grateful that we got to watch our own children shine on the bimah.”
It was the Hamas-led assault on Israel and subsequent tsunami of antisemitism worldwide that prompted the couple to consider stepping up and contributing to the Shaaray Zedek campaign in such a magnanimous way.
“I have never been a religious person,” Morantz remarked. “While I may be more secular, I strongly believe in the traditions of Judaism. I had a charmed upbringing in the 60s and 70s in River Heights. It is not the case that I experienced no antisemitism, but those experiences were very minimal. Post-October 7th, I found myself, for the first time in my life, having to judge every situation and every person I came across before divulging the fact that I am Jewish or discussing Israel. I came to the realization, during the process of considering this donation, that a primary driver for us is that this synagogue is a safe place for Jews, where we can comfortably be ourselves.”
Walder pointed out that while her mother’s large family were Jewish pioneers, her father was a Romanian Holocaust survivor, with almost no family after the war. “Family matters a great deal to us,” she said. “In addition to strongly agreeing with Richard that the tragedy of October 7th and continuing and growing anti Semitism are big drivers for us in making this donation, we also want to see Shaarey Zedek be a safe and special part of the lives of our now adult children and the generations that will follow them. It is very fulfilling to us that we are contributing to making that happen.”
Walder further credits the encouragement of her old friend and law school classmate, Neil Duboff, for helping to clinch the decision for her and her husband to make the donation. “Neil has worked so hard for the synagogue and our community for so many years and we applaud his efforts and commitment,” she noted.
(Duboff is a past president of the Shaarey Zedek and chaired the capital campaign.)
Walder also mentioned the support of Gail Asper in making the decision. “I met Gail on our first day of law school in 1981,” she recalled, “and we have been very close ever since. While we can all agree that Gail certainly knows how to talk, she also really knows how to listen. Through all of our discussions with her about making this donation, she listened hard, she came up with solid answers, and she was instrumental in leading us to the decision to donate. Shaarey Zedek is extremely lucky to have such a talented fundraiser.”
“We have to make special mention of Rena Secter Elbaze,” Morantz noted. “Rena literally blew me away when I met her for a tour of the synagogue. Her passion and knowledge are remarkable. We believe that our synagogue is in great hands and we feel much comfort and confidence making this donation.
“We are very proud of the recent renovations and upgrades to the synagogue,” he added. “This place is absolutely beautiful. We also feel privileged to have met with Rabbi Carnie Rose. We know he will be a great asset to the synagogue and all of its members for a long time to come.
“We are so honoured to be here with you today and to feel that we are making a difference to this special place”.
He concluded his remarks with an observation by Elie Wiesel that “a synagogue is a house of memory as well as a house of prayer. It reminds us of who we are and where we come from.”
Local News
Winnipegger Charlotte Kittner traces ancestry back to the Jewish expulsion from Spain
By MYRON LOVE Ladino was long the spoken language of the Jews from the Iberian peninsula and North Africa just as Yiddish was the day to day language of the Jews of Eastern Europe. Charlotte Kittner is most likely the only Winnipegger – and one of the few left in the world – who still speaks Ladino.
But Ladino is just one of eight languages that Kittner, who turned 100 in August, can speak – the others being Bulgarian, Romanian, Czech, Spanish, French, Hebrew, Turkish and English.
Charlette (Sarlota) Kittner was born in Bulgaria – in a Jewish community whose members were largely descended from the Jews who were forced out of Spain in 1492 (and Portugal a few years later) by the Spanish expulsion.
A few days after her birth, that part of Bulgaria became part of Romania. She was so small at birth, she recounts, that the doctor had little hope she would survive more than a few years. She slept in a drawer of a chiffonier lined with many layers of cotton for the first year.
The youngest of three sisters, she recalls growing up comfortably in a warm and observant community. Her father, Avram, who operated a textile factor, attended synagogue on Shabbat and all the Yom Tovim.
The family – along with all the other Jewish families in Romania, fell on hard times with the advent of World War II. Although Romania was an ally of Nazi Germany and was never occupied, members of the Romanian Iron Guard – the local equivalent of the Nazis – could be just as sadistic and murderous as their German counterparts. Although most Romanian Jews outside of Bucharest were murdered, those living in the capital city, while facing much discrimination and many restrictions – were spared internment and deportation.
Kittner notes that mother, Minduch, died in 1945 and she lost her father in 1946.
During the war Charlotte and her sister, Lisa, were assigned to a factory making linens and garments for the Nazis.
She recalls that life was tough after liberation and continued to be difficult after the coming of Communism in immediate post-war Romania.
After the war, Kittner trained as an accountant and found work with a large manufacturer. That is where she met her husband, Mike (Misu) Kittner. They were married in Bucharest in November,1952.
Kittner’s sisters, Suzanna and Lisa, both made aliyah after the war. Charlotte and Mike followed in 1964. They lived in Israel for three years. Charlotte quickly learned Hebrew and found work as an accountant.
But life in Israel was difficult economically in those days. Mike’s brothers, Fred and Serge, had previously settled in Winnipeg and encouraged Mike and Charlotte to join them. They did – in May 1967.
The next year, Chralotte’s sister Lisa and husband, Nick, also moved to Winnipeg.
Their other sister, Suzanna, and her husband, Selu, a well known painter, remained in Israel.
Over the years, Kittner has visited Israel – where she has numerous nephews, nieces and cousins – as well as having taken trips back to Romania and to other European countries.
Once in Winnipeg, she and Mike quickly found work in the garment industry. She was first hired as a bookkeeper by Stall and Son. After a short time she moved over to Silpit Industries, where she served as chief accountant for many years. Kittner has favourable memories of her boss, the late community leader Harry Silverberg. She later worked for another Silverberg firm, Brown and Rutherford, a lumber processing operation.
Mike only worked in the garment industry for a short time. He found his niche in insurance sales – where he excelled. He also founded Broadway Agencies and became a booking agent for budding new performing artists in Europe whom he brought to Winnipeg to appear in popular local night clubs.
Mike and Charlotte’s nephew, Brad Kittner, recalls as a youngster going with his
parents, aunts and uncles to those clubs and watching what he describes as “these fabulous singers.” He says that they inspired him to pursue his own successful career as a karaoke singer and performer for hire.
Charlotte and Mike first lived in East Kildonan for a year, then moved to Partridge Avenue in West Kildonan. A few years later, they bought a new house on Drimes Place, north of Templeton, in northwest Winnipeg.
While Mike Kittner passed away in 1991, Charlotte continued to work into her 70s.
Through the years, she has led a busy social life with family and friends. As Brad Kittner notes, even at 100, “Aunt Charlotte continues hosting friends and family for full course meals and gatherings at her place.”
Charlotte celebrated her hundredth birthday with more than 20 relatives and friends at the Ichiban Restaurant.
Although hard of hearing and somewhat frail of body, her mind remains relatively clear. She still enjoys reading fiction, doing crosswords and looking forward to her weekly card games with her sister-in-law, Sylvia, who also lives at Chateau West on Jefferson, and other friends.
May she live to 120!
Local News
Over 2000 supporters turned out for walk for Israel despite overcast skies, rain
By MYRON LOVE October 5 started out overcast and rainy. The rain – which fortunately stopped just before the Walk for Israel began – didn’t prevent over 2,000 supporters of Israel – both members of our Jewish community and those from outside of our community from turning out for the second annual Walk for Israel commemorating the horrific events of October 7 – two years ago – the darkest day in post-Holocaust Jewish history
As with last year, the 45-minute walk began and ended at the Asper Campus. While last year the walk was followed by speeches from community leaders and various politicians, this year the only speaker was Paula Parks, President of the Jewish Federation of Winnipeg, who pointed out that the ongoing anti-Israel and antisemitic demonstrations- post October 7- have strengthened the bonds within our community and spurred more people to affiliate with our communal organizations. She further noted that more of us are speaking out and we need to continue to do that.
“The number of people who participated was inspirational,” says Gustavo Zentner, the representative for Manitoba and Saskatchewan for the Centre for Israel and Jewish Affairs. “We had numerous allies as well as members of our Jewish community. We had people from all walks of life.”
“We had a fantastic turnout,” added Jeff Lieberman, the Jewish Federation of Winnipeg’s CEO. “Paula spoke very well. Her comments were meaningful.”
He expressed his hope that the hostages would be released very soon, the war would be ended, and Israelis can finally live in peace.
The commemoration’s focus this year was primarily on visual images rather than words. The walk featured a number of photos taken by local members of the Winnipeg Jewish community who visited the Nova site in person or attended the Nova exhibit that travelled to various parts of Canada and the United States. The photos were displayed for the day along the fence on Doncaster Avenue – the first stage of the walk. Participants were handed Israeli flags and kalaniot (red anemones) flowers, the official flower of Israel, and were encouraged to place them around the photos on the fence.
As well, as part of the October 7 commemoration, 33 paintings depicting some of those taken hostage on October 7 were put on display along Main Street of the Campus from the week of October 3-October 10. The paintings were the work of well-known Israeli illustrator, cartoonist, humourist, performance artist and political activist, Zeev Engelmayer.
The walk on October 5 concluded with Israeli shimshinim – Israeli youth representatives here in Winnipeg from Israel – and other young people from our community reciting a prayer for the hostages (who were finally freed last week), and members of the IDF, followed by the singing of “O Canada” and “Hatikvah.”