By GERRY POSNER As we pass down the corridor of life, there are certainly times we can identify as moments we will never forget. I had such a moment on April 11 at my second Bar Mitzvah, at the Shaarey Zedek Synagogue, shared with Dr. Ted Lyons, or E. A. as I called him over the years. We were celebrating this life cycle event at the very same synagogue as the first one, that is – the Shaarey Zede. For me, it was some 70 years ago or 25,557 days – from April 21, 1956 to April 11, 2026. The notion of returning to the original place of Bar Mitzvah 1.0 was too powerful a force, causing me to abandon my plan to do this in Toronto where my wife, Sherna and I have lived for the last 13 plus years.
It was quite the weekend. We started just before Erev Shabbat with photos of our two families on the bimah. Ted had his whole family there, including his daughter Mara, her husband Sheldon, and their two daughters, as well as his son Sami, his wife Rose, and their three kids, all of whom live In Calgary, not to forget his sister Ellen and her husband Howard Goldstein, from Toronto. Our three kids: Ari, Rami and Amira, all of whom live in Toronto, along with two of my grandchildren, as well as my brother Michael from Toronto were also present.
After the Shabbat service, we stayed on in the building for our Shabbat dinner. There were 23 of us, including Michael’s partner, Ruth Grubert, (formerly Mozersky), also a former Winnipegger, as well as Rabbi Mass,his son Ranan, Rabbi Carnie Rose and his wife Pauline. It was a warm group and the dinner was gobbled up and appreciated by all of us. We were all surprised when independently, the respective grandchildren of the Bar Mitzvah “bochers” presented both of us with a kind of tribute – funny and sincere in their affection for their Zaidas.
Then came the big day. It lived up to and even exceeded my expectations. It was a sell-out crowd. I was overwhelmed just at that fact. The only thing missing from the building was the electronic ark. The respective families all participated with aliyahs and indeed Torah readings by Sami Lyons and the 83-year-old Bar Mitzvah boy Ted Lyons. Now, “leyning” from the Torah was not something Ted had done at the first go-round 70 years ago. (In fact, almost all of us were deficient in that area).
One particular moment during the service was especially meaningful for Sherna and me. In the first part of the service, there is a prayer called “Mi Chamocha.” My son Ari had written music for that prayer several years ago and now he was at Shaarey Zedek, where he had his Bar Mitzvah long ago. This time though the clergy had arranged to use his music and to sing his melody. (It had been used many times previously, but without Ari. ) Not only that, he was invited to play his composition at the service as Cantor Leslie Emery sang it. Those few moments – as we watched and listened, at this – my second Bar Mitzvah, at a place where my parents had been members for years and whose names are on the memorial plaque in the chapel, well, that was powerful, to put it mildly.
Ted and his family had various honours as did my family. I was given the Haftorah to chant. Now, I have few talents, but I can chant a Haftroah (not the most marketable skill), so that was not that much of an obstacle for me. In fact, I rather enjoyed doing this part of the service. Rabbi Rose had also given me permission to deliver a D’var Torah on the portion of the week, “Shemini”, and to discuss the meaning of this, my second Bar Mitzvah. Once I had the mic and the stage, I was ready to go in spite of my wife’s protestations that it was too long. And, in fact, as I rolled along into my Haftorah, after about 10 minutes, my parter in the double Bar, Ted, came up from behind me where he was sitting, and nudged me gently, or to put it more accurately, gave me the hook, announcing that it was time to wrap up. It was kind of comical, in fact. I got a large charge from that sudden intervention. To top it off, as I had been speaking, I noticed a congregant on my left near the front who had apparently passed out. It was alarming to me at first, but the medics came and were able to revive this person. I was told later that other first words out of the mouth were “Has he finally finished?”
We concluded the day with a rather large kiddish luncheon highlighted at least for me by traditional party sandwiches, which were a staple of the kiddishes of my youth. I met with so many people of my past, which was a treat and a half for me. I was so into the moment that It was hard to get me out of the building.
As I reflect on the day and the service, I recognized that for all of us, we have times in our lives, whether it be an hour, a day or a week, that we will never forget. This day was for me one such moment. It is etched in my memory to be relived through the Youtube video now in my possession. The gift that keeps on giving, I say.
My first Bar Mitzvah was good, for sure. This one was far better. I knew what I was doing.
Post script (After Gerry had sent us his story, he sent us something else that he said should have been included in the story): True, Ted and I had the Bar Mitzvah no 2. But we only had it because there was one person who did the real work and yet received no credit. She made all the arrangements with the synagogue for both the Friday night Shabbat dinner and the kiddish lunch after the service. She dealt with various people in the synagogue and basically took charge of our simcha. I speak, of course, of Harriet Lyons. That I failed to mention her was due to my excess focus on the eating of the party sandwiches and not enough on the reason we had them in the first place. Harriet teaches the weaving of tallits, but she stands tall in the arranging of Bar Mitzvahs.
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