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The Challenge You Are Facing Right Now Might Be Needed to Help You Grow
Reading from a Torah scroll in accordance with Sephardi tradition. Photo: Sagie Maoz via Wikimedia Commons.
Years ago, former Israeli Chief Rabbi Yisrael Meir Lau shared an incredible story that continues to resonate deeply. Two elite Israeli soldiers, part of a highly specialized anti-terror unit, were sent on a critical mission: to capture or eliminate a notorious terrorist hiding in Lebanon. The operation brought them to the terrorist’s home, where they burst in to find his wife and three young children. The soldiers searched the home meticulously, but the target was nowhere to be found.
As one soldier guarded the family, the woman suddenly spoke — astonishingly, in Hebrew. She claimed she was Jewish and, to prove it, revealed a chai necklace around her neck. Skeptical, the soldiers demanded further evidence. The woman directed them to a record hidden beneath her mattress, saying it would confirm her story. They found the record as described. Its cover bore the words Kol Nidrei.
The woman then shared her extraordinary tale. “I grew up in Minneapolis and my parents were Holocaust survivors. When I went to college, I fell in love with a man of Lebanese descent. We planned to marry and move to Lebanon, but my parents were devastated. My mother, furious and heartbroken, gave me an ultimatum: If I married him, I would cease to be her daughter.”
“Confused, but deeply in love, I left. At the airport, as I stood in line to check my baggage, my father appeared. With tears in his eyes, he reassured me that no matter what, I would always be his daughter and always have a home to return to. He gave me this chai necklace as a parting gift, asking me to wear it always. Then, he handed me his most treasured possession — a record of Kol Nidrei, his favorite cantorial piece. He begged me to play it from time to time and remember my roots.”
The soldiers, moved by her story, believed her. The commander spoke plainly: “Your husband will eventually be captured or killed. Either way, you have no life here. Come with us, return to Israel, and reclaim your place among your people.”
And she did. The woman and her children left Lebanon and rebuilt their lives in Israel. She remarried — a Jewish man this time — and her parents flew to Israel to attend the wedding. They met their grandchildren for the first time, a joyous reunion that had once seemed impossible. The children were enrolled in religious schools, and today, the family lives as religious Jews in Israel.
This story feels especially poignant in light of this week’s Torah portion, Vayishlach. Jacob is preparing to face his brother Esav, who remains furious over the stolen birthright blessing. Alone and vulnerable in the night, Jacob is confronted by a mysterious figure. The Torah tells us: “A man wrestled with him until the break of dawn.”
Who was this man, and why did he engage Jacob in this all night struggle?
The great medieval commentator, the Rashbam, identifies this man as an angel sent by God. His mission was to compel Jacob to confront his fears and fulfill his destiny by meeting Esav face-to-face. Based on this, my friend, Yeshiva University President Rabbi Ari Berman, suggests that this is part of a larger theme in the book of Genesis — that whenever the Patriarchs are confronted with a potentially life-altering situation and facing their covenantal destiny, an anonymous ish, a “person,” appears to help the Torah figure move in the right direction.
Later in the Torah, we see this again with Joseph. When Jacob sends him to check on his brothers near Shechem, Joseph becomes lost. Out of nowhere, an ish appears and tells him his brothers have moved on to Dosan. Thanks to this encounter, Joseph finds his brothers, who throw him into a pit and eventually sell him into slavery. Though it appears to be a tragedy, this event sets the stage for Joseph to descend to Egypt and fulfill his covenantal destiny.
Sometimes we too need to confront our most difficult challenges to become the people we were meant to be. But God also helps us get there. He sends special people or an odd circumstance to help us reach that place. We just need to learn to see those people or experiences as possibilities for growth. The problem is that we lack perspective, and when we are going through something unfortunate or difficult, we often think it is just a step back. Losing a job, ending a relationship, or encountering failure can feel devastating, yet these experiences often open doors we never imagined. Facing Esav in Jacob’s case, or going down to Egypt in Joseph’s situation, could only be perceived at the time as negative and unfortunate situations. But both circumstances ultimately put Jacob and Joseph where they needed to be to become the great men they ultimately became.
I don’t know how marrying a Lebanese terrorist could be seen as anything short of disastrous, and this young woman certainly made the wrong choice at that time in her life. But after the fact, it put her in a situation where she was given another choice to make, to leave her husband, return to her people and become committed to Judaism in a way that perhaps she might never have — had she remained in Minneapolis her whole life. God works in mysterious ways.
May Hashem help us find the strength to embrace life’s challenges with faith and openness. And may we have the clarity to recognize the ish — the people and moments that guide us toward our covenantal destiny, helping us become the individuals we were meant to be.
Rabbi Mark Wildes is the founder and director of the Manhattan Jewish Experience (MJE), a vibrant community for young Jewish professionals, and the author of The 40 Day Challenge: Daily Jewish Insights to Prepare for the High Holidays and Beyond the Instant: Jewish Wisdom for Lasting Happiness in a Fast-Paced Social Media World.
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Love Thy Neighbor as Thyself. Really?
JNS.org – If I asked you to name the most famous line in the Bible, what would you answer? While Shema Yisrael (“Hear O’Israel”) might get many votes, I imagine that the winning line would be “love thy neighbor as thyself” (Leviticus 19:18). Some religions refer to it as the Golden Rule, but all would agree that it is fundamental to any moral lifestyle. And it appears this week in our Torah reading, Kedoshim.
This is quite a tall order. Can we be expected to love other people as much as we love ourselves? Surely, this is an idealistic expectation. And yet, the Creator knows us better than we know ourselves. How can His Torah be so unrealistic?
The biblical commentaries offer a variety of explanations. Some, like Rambam (Maimonides), say that the focus should be on our behavior, rather than our feelings. We are expected to try our best or to treat others “as if” we genuinely love them.
Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi, in his classic text called the Tanya, argues that the actual feelings of love are, in fact, achievable provided that we focus on a person’s spirituality rather than how they present themselves physically. If we can put the soul over the body, we can do it.
Allow me to share the interpretation of the Ramban (Nachmanides), a 13th-century Torah scholar from Spain. His interpretation of the verses preceding love thy neighbor is classic and powerful, yet simple and straightforward.
“Do not hate your brother in your heart. You shall rebuke him, but do not bear a sin because of him” by embarrassing him in public. “Do not take revenge, and do not bear a grudge against your people. You shall love your fellow as yourself, I am God” (Leviticus 19:17-18).
What is the connection between these verses? Why is revenge and grudge-bearing in the same paragraph as love your fellow as yourself?
A careful reading shows that within these two verses are no less than six biblical commandments. But what is their sequence all about, and what is the connection between them?
The Ramban explains it beautifully, showing how the sequence of verses is deliberate and highlighting the Torah’s profound yet practical advice on how to maintain healthy relationships.
Someone wronged you? Don’t hate him in your heart. Speak to him. Don’t let it fester until it bursts, and makes you bitter and sick.
Instead, talk it out. Confront the person. Of course, do it respectfully. Don’t embarrass anyone in public, so that you don’t bear a sin because of them. But don’t let your hurt eat you up. Communicate!
If you approach the person who wronged you—not with hate in your heart but with respectful reproof—one of two things will happen. Either he or she will apologize and explain their perspective on the matter. Or that it was a misunderstanding and will get sorted out between you. Either way, you will feel happier and healthier.
Then you will not feel the need to take revenge or even to bear a grudge.
Here, says the Ramban, is the connection between these two verses. And if you follow this advice, only then will you be able to observe the commandment to Love Thy Neighbor. If you never tell him why you are upset, another may be completely unaware of his or her wrongdoing, and it will remain as a wound inside you and may never go away.
To sum up: Honest communication is the key to loving people.
Now, tell me the truth. Did you know that not taking revenge is a biblical commandment? In some cultures in Africa, revenge is a mitzvah! I’ve heard radio talk-show hosts invite listeners to share how they took “sweet revenge” on someone, as if it’s some kind of accomplishment.
Furthermore, did you know that bearing a grudge is forbidden by biblical law?
Here in South Africa, people refer to a grudge by its Yiddish name, a faribel. In other countries, people call it a broiges. Whatever the terminology, the Torah states explicitly: “Thou shalt not bear a grudge!” Do not keep a faribel, a broiges or resentment of any kind toward someone you believe wronged you. Talk to that person. Share your feelings honestly. If you do it respectfully and do not demean the other’s dignity, then it can be resolved. Only then will you be able to love your fellow as yourself.
May all our grudges and feelings of resentment toward others be dealt with honestly and respectfully. May all our grudges be resolved as soon as possible. Then we will all be in a much better position to love our neighbors as ourselves.
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‘Nonsense’: Huckabee Shoots Down Report Trump to Endorse Palestinian Statehood
US Ambassador to Israel Mike Huckabee looks on during the day he visits the Western Wall, Judaism’s holiest prayer site, in Jerusalem’s Old City, April 18, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Ronen Zvulun
i24 News – US Ambassador to Israel Mike Huckabee on Saturday dismissed as nonsensical the report that President Donald Trump would endorse Palestinian statehood during his tour to the Persian Gulf this week.
“This report is nonsense,” Huckabee harrumphed on his X account, blasting the Jerusalem Post as needing better sourced reporting. “Israel doesn’t have a better friend than the president of the United States.”
Trump is set to visit Saudi Arabia, Qatar, and the United Arab Emirates. The leader’s first trip overseas since he took office comes as Trump seeks the Gulf countries’ support in regional conflicts, including the Israel-Hamas war in Gaza and curbing Iran’s advancing nuclear program.
However, reports citing administration insiders claimed that Trump has also set his sights on the ambitious goal of expanding the Abraham Accords. These agreements, initially signed in 2020, normalized relations between Israel and the UAE, Bahrain, Morocco, and Sudan. The accords are widely held to be among the most important achievements of the first Trump administration.
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US to Put Military Option Back on Table If No Immediate Progress in Iran Talks
US President Donald Trump’s Middle East envoy-designate Steve Witkoff gives a speech at the inaugural parade inside Capital One Arena on the inauguration day of Trump’s second presidential term, in Washington, DC, Jan. 20, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Carlos Barria
i24 News – Unless significant progress is registered in Sunday’s round of nuclear talks with Iran, the US will consider putting the military option back on the table, sources close to US envoy Steve Witkoff told i24NEWS.
American and Iranian representatives voiced optimism after the previous talks that took place in Oman and Rome, saying there was a friendly atmosphere despite the two countries’ decades of enmity.
However the two sides are not believed to have thrashed out the all-important technical details, and basic questions remain.
The source has also underscored the significance of the administration’s choice of Michael Anton, the State Department’s policy planning director, as the lead representative in the nuclear talks’ technical phases.
Anton is “an Iran expert and someone who knows how to cut a deal with Iran,” the source said, saying that the choice reflected Trump’s desire to secure the deal.
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