The month of Elul is a time when we traditionally focus on improving ourselves and our connection with God.

In Judaism, the concept of returning to a better version of ourselves and a closer relationship with God is called Teshuva, which literally means “returning.” This shows us that our natural state of being is one of purity and closeness to God.

This year, with the trauma we experienced and are still going through, we Jews have felt attacked in ways that we haven’t been in 80 years. For many, the classical situation seems to have been reversed. Teshuvah in the classical sense comes about because a person created distance between themselves and God; this year, however, a lot of people have felt the opposite — that God has created distance, with many asking, “Where is God in all these tragedies?”

God seems to be very quiet in light of the horrific circumstances we face, and that has posed a challenge of faith to many people.

This situation brings to mind a Hassidic story involving Rabbi Levi Yitzhak from Berditchev. One year, he told his top students to seek out and learn from a simple old lady who had done a very high level of teshuvah. They found her house, told her that the rabbi had sent them, and asked her about her teshuvah process.

She told them, “I wrote down a list of everything I did wrong this year — I didn’t always make blessings, I spoke evil words about others, and so on. Then I wrote a list of everything that I’m upset with God for. ‘Hashem, you killed my cow, my child got sick,’ and so on …. and then I said, ‘Hashem, let’s make a deal. I’ll forgive you for everything you did, and you forgive me for my list.’

That was the most authentic teshuvah done that year.

We know, obviously, that God doesn’t sin. There is always a meaningful reason for what takes place in our lives. However, at the same time, we have to be real with our experience and approach God from that place. If we feel abandoned or mistreated, we need to express that to God; that is how we can maintain an authentic personal relationship.

So how do we hold these things together — the feeling of abandonment on the one hand, and the drive to create a deeper connection on the other?

I believe we learn this from King David in Tehillim/Psalms (22:1) where he says: “Keli Keli Lama Azavtani – My God, My God, why have you abandoned me?”

The first time I read this, I was a bit upset, because it appears that King David has lost his faith. How could he ask such a question?

However, my concerns were put to rest when I heard a teaching of Rabbi Shimshon Raphael Hirsch, who says that the word “Lama” shouldn’t be read as the meaning “why,” but rather with the meaning “what for.” Yes, you seem to have abandoned me, but there must be a reason for that.

Rather than asking why, a question to which we often can’t get an answer, we ask “what” — what should I do about this, what am I meant to learn from this? These questions are much more empowering.

Jewish wisdom teaches us that when we feel abandoned by God, it’s usually a response to us abandoning God in some way first. So the distance created by God is in order to get us to build ourselves, become more resilient, patient, calm, and loving, to help others, to unify as a people, and to yearn for a return to a close relationship with God, is exactly what teshuvah is all about.

This year, there has been so much trauma that we just can’t grasp it or make sense of it; and it is ongoing. We may feel abandoned. The key for many of us, rather than blaming God, is to understand that God is asking us to stay strong, be united, and act in ways that will bring Him back into the picture, so that He can show us that He never truly abandons His people, and that He will redeem us from the current pain in a spectacular way, just as He has many other times over the last 2000 years.

May it be soon.

After spending six years living in Asia, Rabbi Dov Ber Cohen moved to Israel and ended up discovering the depth, beauty, truth and wisdom of Judaism. Dov Ber Cohen is now a senior Lecturer at Aish HaTorah World Center in Jerusalem, and Founder/Director of Living in Tune: Authentic Jewish Mindfulness (www.litmindfulness.org).

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