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Yizkor: We Should Remember the Best Version of Our Loved Ones
In the Ashkenazi tradition, the Yizkor service stands out as an emotional highlight of each festival. On specially designated days, those who have lost parents, spouses, siblings, or children remain in the synagogue to recite memorial prayers, while those whose parents are still alive respectfully leave the sanctuary. The Hebrew word “Yizkor,” meaning “will remember,” initiates each prayer, emphasizing the enduring memory of those who have passed away and ensuring their remembrance even in their absence.
In the introduction to my latest book, Hearts & Minds on Jewish Festivals, I explore how deeply personal memories integrate into the observance of festivals. Reflecting on memories of shared experiences with my family throughout the Jewish calendar year over many years, I highlight the profound impact these memories have each time these festivals roll around again. Each treasured moment recalled enriches and profoundly enhances our celebrations:
These memories and so many more turn each festival and each significant Jewish date into a rich blend of history, tradition, Jewish laws and customs, memories, nostalgia, and new experiences. Every wine stain on the pages of the Haggadah we use, every forgotten High Holidays schedule tucked into the pages of the maḥzor, the special yomtov-connected drawings our kids made in preschool that reappear at the relevant time each year, the smell of yomtov food cooking in the kitchen—all these elements form a vivid mosaic of our Jewish experience, adding color, context, and depth to the practical aspects of the festivals and notable Jewish dates that punctuate our lives.
These reflections invite us to consider the dual nature of memory — with its inevitable mix of accuracy and embellishment — and the significant roles our remembered versions of events and experiences play in shaping our lives.
Psychology researcher and science communicator Dr. Julia Shaw, known for her exploration of memory and particularly false memories, addresses these themes in her book The Memory Illusion. She investigates how memories can be distorted, fabricated, and influenced by various factors.
Dr. Shaw explores the phenomenon of people recalling events that never happened, discussing the implications for fields like criminal law and our understanding of personal history. Interestingly, she suggests that these alterations in memory are not always detrimental; often, they serve to highlight the most favorable aspects of our loved ones and our past.
In eulogies, we often commemorate our loved ones in the most favorable light possible. The memories we recall are inherently selective and somewhat distorted, as they portray an idealized version of our departed loved ones — a version we all hope to be remembered by one day, when it is our turn to be eulogized.
When someone highlights less flattering aspects of a deceased person during a eulogy, it can shock the audience. I recall a funeral years ago for a university professor of mine, a celebrated scholar of history. His grandson’s eulogy began by acknowledging his grandfather’s reputation as a brilliant intellect and a fount of knowledge — then it shifted to a more personal note: “But there was more to him than that,” he added. “I will always remember him as the old man with dandruff on his jacket, who could be quite irritable and impatient. That was my grandpa.”
As he spoke, I couldn’t help but think, along with everyone else, “Is this really the memory to share at his funeral?”
The podcast Where There’s a Will, There’s a Wake, hosted by English actress Kathy Burke, is premised on a novel concept: “If you could plan your perfect death, what would you do?”
Each episode features celebrities who are asked to imagine their own untimely demise, take charge of their hypothetical funeral arrangements, choose their preferred way to go, create playlists, and even listen to eulogies prepared in advance by their friends.
While intriguing, this concept starkly contrasts with reality — where the memory of who we are is shaped by others, typically our family members, who preserve and interpret our legacies. Nevertheless, these curated memories, richly assembled from diverse perspectives, still do not capture the complete truth. Despite varied viewpoints, no two people will ever remember someone in exactly the same way.
During our festive gatherings over Yom Tov, we often find ourselves immersed in family stories, both old and new. As we enjoy each other’s company and celebrate together, these time-honed tales are shared and reshaped with each retelling. Over the years, details are embellished, and characters grow larger than life, creating increasingly engaging narratives.
This process not only entertains but also strengthens family bonds, imparts values, and fosters a sense of continuity and belonging. Enriched memories become an important part of our collective family heritage, celebrated during these special occasions.
The Yizkor service utilizes the power of memory to connect us with those who have passed on. We engage deeply with our memories, idealizing and appreciating the positive aspects while overlooking the flaws. This idealization is not without merit, as highlighted by a remarkable passage from the Talmud.
The Talmud (Sanhedrin 92b) unpacks Ezekiel’s seminal “dry bones” prophecy. According to the biblical narrative (Ez. 37:1-14), Ezekiel is brought to a valley filled with dry, lifeless bones and asked by God if these bones can live again. He responds that only God knows, prompting God to command Ezekiel to prophesy over the bones. Miraculously, as Ezekiel prophesies, the bones reassemble, grow flesh, and are infused with life, becoming a vast army.
This vision is interpreted in the Talmud as symbolizing the Israelites from the tribe of Ephraim who, driven by impatience, had tried to conquer the land of Israel prematurely at the dawn of Jewish history. Their failure and demise are represented by the dry bones, which are then miraculously revived by Ezekiel.
The question is: Did this event actually happen, or is Ezekiel’s vision merely symbolic? Rabbi Yehuda and Rabbi Nehemiah view the entire episode as a metaphor, suggesting it never actually occurred. Then, unexpectedly, Rabbi Eleazar, son of Rabbi Yosi HaGelili, asserts that the narrative is true, and that the revived bones went on to marry and have children.
This claim is further complicated by Rabbi Yehuda ben Beteira, who claims to be descended from those supposedly metaphorical figures, and adds that “these are the tefillin that my grandfather bequeathed to me from them.”
The thirteenth-century rabbinic luminary, Rabbi Shlomo ben Aderet (Rashba), clarifies this debate by suggesting that some aggadic passages are significant not necessarily because they occurred, but because they represent events that could have transpired. This idea means these stories transcend mere metaphor. They are potential narratives that impart lessons and carry deep messages, regardless of their historical authenticity.
In the specific case of Rabbi Yehuda ben Beteira claiming to have inherited tefillin from descendants of those revived by Ezekiel, the Rashba seemingly interprets this not as a literal historical claim but as a narrative device intended to convey deeper truths or lessons about faith, continuity, and the transmission of tradition. The focus is on the value and impact of the story rather than its factual accuracy.
This approach to memory and narrative is crucial, especially in prayers like the Yizkor service, where we remember our deceased loved ones in the best possible light. It’s not about facts, or about history — but about values and heritage.
By remembering our loved ones as the best versions of themselves — whether these memories are entirely accurate or somewhat enhanced — we not only honor their legacy but also inspire ourselves to aspire to these ideals. This process elevates the souls of the departed and enriches our own lives, demonstrating the power of memory to shape not only our perception of the past, but also our actions in the present and our aspirations for the future.
The author is a rabbi in Beverly Hills, California.
The post Yizkor: We Should Remember the Best Version of Our Loved Ones first appeared on Algemeiner.com.
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US Rep. Nick Langworthy Introduces Bill to Deport Foreign Students Who Support Terror Groups
US Rep. Nick Langworthy (R-NY). Photo: Michael Brochstein / SOPA Images via Reuters Connect
US Rep. Nick Langworthy (R-NY) has introduced legislation to deport non-citizen students who support any US-designated terrorist group, arguing that these individuals have abused the “privilege” of seeking an education in America.
“It’s a privilege to come to America to learn at our institutions, NOT [sic] a right. The antisemitic actions that have threatened the safety of Jewish students must end,” Langworthy posted on X/Twitter on Tuesday. “That’s why I just reintroduced the Veto Your Visas Act, which ensures anyone here on a student visa who supports a Foreign Terrorist Organization will be deported. Whether it’s Mahmoud Kahlil or any other perpetrator of terrorist propaganda, you will be kicked out of our country.”
The legislation would mandate that colleges and universities alert the Student and Exchange Visitor Information System (SEVIS) immediately if they learn that a student on an Exchange Visitor or Academic Student nonimmigrant visa has expressed support for an FTO. Additionally, the bill would mandate the US Secretary of State to cancel the student’s visa.
The legislation comes on the heels of the arrest of former Columbia University student Mahmoud Khalil, who spearheaded raucous and destructive protests on Columbia’s campus against Israel’s defensive military operations in Gaza. Khalil’s conduct caused the Trump administration to apprehend and attempt to deport him, although his lawyers are challenging the government in court. Khalil, a Palestinian activist raised in Syria, is a green card holder and a permanent US resident.
“I commend the Trump administration and Secretary of State Marco Rubio on taking swift action against Khalil,” Langworthy said in a statement while announcing his legislation. “It is a privilege to come to the United States to study and learn — it is not a free pass to come here and spread hate and support terrorism. This legislation would ensure anyone here on a student visa who supports a Foreign Terrorist Organization will be deported, protecting our national security and making it clear we have zero tolerance for terrorism.”
The bill is co-sponsored by Republican Reps. Vern Buchanan (FL), Brandon Gill (TX), Edwards (NC), Abraham Hamadeh (AZ), Paul Gosar (AZ), Pete Stauber (MN), and Daniel Webster ‘FL).
In the 17 months following the Palestinian terrorist group Hamas’s Oct. 7, 2023, massacre across southern Israel, universities across the US have experienced a surge in campus antisemitism. In the immediate aftermath of the terrorist attacks in Israel, hordes of students and faculty orchestrated protests and demonstrations condemning the Jewish state. Student groups at elite universities such as Harvard and Columbia issued statements blaming Israel for the attacks and expressing support for Hamas, a US-designated terrorist organization.
Many of these rowdy protests have been spearheaded by foreign students and professors on Visas or green cards. The destruction and violence caused by the unsanctioned demonstrations have drawn scrutiny toward universities that accept large numbers of students from foreign countries where terrorist groups are based or operate. In addition, legislators have increasingly condemned universities for accepting money from Qatar, a backer of Hamas.
Several high-profile universities have also come under fire for allegedly showing a significant level of tolerance for anti-Jewish sentiment festering on their campuses.
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Four More Sentenced to Jail for Amsterdam Attack Against Israeli Soccer Fans
Israeli soccer fans under assault, near Amsterdam Central station, in Amsterdam, Netherlands, Nov. 8, 2024, in this still image obtained from a social media video. X/iAnnet/via REUTERS
An Amsterdam court announced at a public hearing on Wednesday jail sentences, ranging from 11 days to three months, for four more perpetrators of the violent attack against Israeli soccer fans that took place in the streets of the Dutch capital last year.
The lengthiest sentence of three months, with the deduction of pre-trial detention, was given to a 27-year-old man who incited violence against Maccabi Tel Aviv fans on Nov. 7, 2024, with messages posted in a WhatsApp group chat that had thousands of members. He wrote “Dead Jew better than a living Jew” and messages about “Dirty cancer Jews.”
The court shared several other of his offensive messages, one of which included an image of Holocaust victim Anne Frank alongside the text “slaughter gas is for losers. I use Zyklon B,” referring to the deadly gas used in gas chambers at Nazi concentration camps. He had also shared an image of Nazi leader Adolf Hitler with the text “pull up pull up gas,” a drawing of Hitler with a swastika, and the message “Hamas Hamas all Jews on the gas.”
The 27-year-old also insulted Jews, made comments trivializing the Holocaust, and shared locations of “those Jews” so they would be attacked during the “Jew hunting” rampage that took place on Nov. 7. He even provided a time and location for attackers to gather and coordinate their assault, which took place in Amsterdam after Maccabi Tel Aviv competed against the Dutch team Ajax in a UEFA Europa League match. The court said he confessed to assisting in the violence carried out by dozens of anti-Israel and pro-Palestinian gangs.
Maccabi Tel Aviv fans were chased by assailants carrying knives and sticks, run over by cars, physically assaulted, and some were forced by their attackers to say “Free Palestine.” Amsterdam’s mayor called the attackers “antisemitic hit-and-run squads.”
A 32-year-old man, who founded the WhatsApp group where the attack was planned and promoted, was sentenced on Wednesday to six weeks in prison, minus the 26 days because of his pre-trial detention. He told attackers on the night of the premeditated and coordinated onslaught where and how they could escape police arrest, and where they could find Israelis to victimize.
A 22-year-old man was given one month in prison, with deduction for his pre-trial detention, for assisting in the violence. He shared on the WhatsApp group chat the location of Maccabi Tel Aviv supporters and urged attackers to spread out in different locations around Amsterdam. The Public Prosecutor’s Office had demanded 12 months in prison for him, but the court ruled there was not sufficient evidence that he personally assaulted Israeli soccer fans.
The fourth suspect sentenced on Wednesday, a 26-year-old, chased a Maccabi Tel Aviv supporter and physically beat the victim with his belt. He also has a criminal record with previous violent crimes. However, he does not need to do any jail time for his actions. On Wednesday, he was sentenced to 30 days in prison, of which 19 days is suspended. Eleven days remain in his sentence, but because that is equivalent to his pre-trial detention, he does not need to spend any time in prison. He was also given a two-year probation period for public assault. On Tuesday night, the night before his sentencing, he was seen at an anti-Israel demonstration in Amsterdam Central Station, according to Dutch media.
Sentencing for the attack began in December 2024, when an Amsterdam court ruled five men would face penalties ranging from six months to one month in prison, and a work sentence of 100 hours. In total, nine people have now been prosecuted for the violence. Amsterdam police said they have 122 suspects in the case.
The Lawfare Project, an international Jewish civil rights organization legally representing more than 50 victims of the attack, previously lambasted the Dutch court for what they described as “light sentences” for the assailants.
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Hamas Calls for Global Siege on US, Israeli Embassies After Renewed Strikes in Gaza
Illustrative: Pro-Hamas demonstrators gather in the heavily Orthodox Jewish neighborhood of Borough Park in New York City on Feb. 18, 2o25. Photo: Screenshot
Hamas has called for “mass demonstrations and a global siege on Israeli and American embassies around the globe,” according to Iranian state-run media, following Israel’s decision to resume military operations against the Palestinian terrorist group in Gaza after negotiations to extend a ceasefire failed.
In a statement issued on Tuesday, Hamas urged the “Arabic and Islamic world” and “free people everywhere” to mobilize against “the Israeli regime’s resuming its US-backed war of genocide against the Palestinian territory.”
The group called for immediate pressure on both Israel and the United States “to end the ongoing military onslaught,” in Gaza, according to Iran’s Press TV.
“The fascist occupation government has resumed its barbaric aggression and genocide war against our people in Gaza, violating all human norms, values, and divine laws during the holy month of Ramadan,” the statement reads”
Iran is Hamas’s chief international backer, providing the Palestinian terrorist group with weapons, funding, and training.
Israel on Monday night began conducting “extensive” strikes against Hamas targets in Gaza, before resuming ground operations in the coastal enclave on Wednesday.
“This follows Hamas’s repeated refusal to release our hostages, as well as its rejection of all of the proposals it has received from US presidential envoy Steve Witkoff and from the mediators,” the Israeli prime minister’s office said in a statement. “Israel will, from now on, act against Hamas with increasing military strength.”
In its own statement, Hamas called for mass demonstrations in cities worldwide and a coordinated siege of Israeli and American diplomatic missions “in response to the Israeli government’s resumption of its military aggression and its reversal of the ceasefire agreement, which has flouted all international and humanitarian laws and norms.”
The Palestinian Islamist group also urged demonstrators to raise Palestinian flags and mobilize resources in support of “the legitimate rights of Palestinians to freedom, independence, and an end to a simultaneous stifling blockade that the regime was enforcing against the coastal strip.”
“Let us unite all efforts at the Arab, Islamic, and international levels and be one voice against the Zionist aggression and the genocide war it is waging against more than two million Palestinians,” the statement read.
Israel recently imposed a total blockade on Gaza after the first phase of the ceasefire with Hamas expired without an agreement to extend the truce.
During the first phase, which began on Jan. 19, fighting ceased for six weeks as Hamas released 33 Israeli hostages (25 alive and eight deceased) in exchange for nearly 2,000 Palestinian prisoners, many of whom had been serving long sentences in Israeli prisons for terrorist activities.
The second phase was meant to include a complete Israeli military withdrawal from Gaza and the release of the remaining hostages taken by Hamas-led Palestinian terrorists from Israel. However, negotiations faltered when Hamas rejected a US proposal, supported by Israel, to release additional hostages and extend the ceasefire while continuing to discuss a permanent resolution.
The US, Qatar, and Egypt have been trying to bridge the differences between the Islamic terrorist group and Israel to restart negotiations in order to release remaining hostages held in Gaza and lift the blockade.
On Tuesday, Israeli Defense Minister Israel Katz said that Jerusalem will not cease military operations against Hamas until all the hostages are returned.
“Hamas must realize that the rules of the game have changed, and if it does not immediately release all the hostages, the gates of hell will open, and it will find itself facing the full intensity of the IDF [Israel Defense Forces] in the air, sea, and land, until its complete elimination,” Katz said during a visit to the Tel Nof Airbase.
“We will not stop fighting until all the hostages are returned home and all threats to the southern residents are removed,” he added.
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