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At a live event with Netflix’s ‘Jewish Matchmaking,’ fans of the show find their people
(New York Jewish Week) — Aleeza Ben Shalom, star of the Netflix hit “Jewish Matchmaking,” stood in the middle of a tight circle of fans — both men and women, young and old — doling out dating advice. Maintaining the same warmth she displays on her TV show, Ben Shalom spoke to as many people as she could as mothers pushed their daughters to the front of the line, single women hung on her every word and superfans asked for hugs and selfies.
Ben Shalom, who lives in Israel, was in New York on Wednesday night to make an appearance at a promotional, sold-out event for the series as well as her book, “Get Real, Get Married.” Some 200 people filled the auditorium at The Town School on the Upper East Side, having paid $54 for a ticket (or $72 if they wanted to attend the VIP meet-and-greet beforehand).
“Thanks everybody for watching the show — you watched the show right? We can’t get a season two unless you watched all the episodes,” Ben Shalom quipped as she greeted the crowd from the auditorium’s stage.
A dating reality show, “Jewish Matchmaking” premiered on Netflix on May 3 to much fanfare. Created by the same team behind the streaming service’s hit “Indian Matchmaking,” “Jewish Matchmaking” spotlights a diverse group of Jews who are looking for love in Israel and across the United States. Viewers watch as Ben Shalom tries to set folks up with their bashert — soulmate — and explains Yiddish/Hebrew words and Jewish customs while doling out gentle, sensible dating advice.
In a short time, the eight-episode series has developed a loyal fan base, while reviewers have called “Jewish Matchmaking” “smart and sweet.”
As for the reason for the show’s success, “There’s everything from the girl that doesn’t want to marry someone that eats bacon, to someone like me who wants someone that prays three times a day in shul,” Brooklynite Fay Brezel, one of the show’s Orthodox stars, told the New York Jewish Week. “I think that’s what people really love about the show: It makes everybody proud to be Jewish no matter where you are with it.”
On Wednesday, Ben Shalom and Brezel were joined onstage by several other members of the cast, including Shaya Rosenberg, whom Brezel briefly dated on the show, as well as Miami resident and eyebrow expert Dani Bergman; Sephardic event organizer David Behar of Miami; Los Angeles-based “unicorn” Harmonie Krieger; outdoorsy Noah Dreyfus of Denver (and Jackson Hole) and Chicago musician Stuart Chaseman.
Aleeza Ben Shalom, fifth from left, with cast members from her hit Netflix show “Jewish Matchmaking,” on stage at The Town School, May 17, 2023. (Julia Gergely)
As for the audience, it skewed female — though like the cast of the show, they represented a diverse cross-section of Jews, including Sephardic, Israeli and Ashkenazi, as well as Reform, haredi Orthodox and everything in between.
Attendees’ reasons for buying a ticket to the event were just as varied. One woman, who wished to remain anonymous, said she came to the event because the show moved her so much. “I am not a reality TV person at all,” she said. “I just felt so inspired by the show. Aleeza was such a warm, positive presence to see on Netflix, and she gave me so much hope for myself that I’ll be able to find someone and so much hope for the Jewish people.”
And yet the woman, who lives in New York, said she also hoped to ask Ben Shalom for dating advice.
Others came to meet and praise their favorite cast members. “I have never felt more validated in my life,” one viewer gushed to Bergman. (Bergman, for her part, told the New York Jewish Week that hearing such sentiments has been the best and most unexpected part of the show.)
More than a few single women were sent to the event at the behest of their worried Jewish parents. “I’m young, I’m 24, I have a lot of great things going on in my life,” said Yael Chanukov, a Manhattan-based actress who recently appeared in two episodes of “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. “But my parents are so concerned about me finding someone. They bought me the ticket, sent me the email confirmation and said I had to ask Aleeza for advice.”
Chanukov came solo, though she said she would have brought her roommate if she had been in town. “I really loved the show, so I am happy to be here regardless,” she added.
Another woman who wished to remain anonymous said that her parents in Long Island watched the show and immediately bought her tickets to the event, telling her she had to talk to Ben Shalom about her dating life. “I had nothing going on tonight and I live nearby. I’m single, so I figured, why not?” she shrugged. “Anything could help.”
As for the advice Ben Shalom gave her? “She told me to stay open and stay hopeful,” the woman said.
Sacha-Aviva Sellam, 30, came because she was inspired by the diversity of Jewish experiences on the show. “I loved the show and found it very relatable,” Selam, who is of North African descent, told the New York Jewish Week. “[Ben Shalom] had a sensibility for all Jews, and Netflix was careful to include and uplift everyone — not just the ultra-Orthodox or the stereotypical ‘bagels and lox’ Jewish experience, which is not me.”
“I’m not here specifically because I’m single, but would I like it very much if I happened to meet someone here somehow? Of course,” she joked.
During the event, guests got to hear from the cast about their favorite parts of the show — for Brezel, it has been messages to her that people have become more observant after watching. “When was the last time that you heard somebody say that they are going to be more careful with mitzvot after watching something on Netflix?” she said. “I don’t think that’s ever happened.”
Behind-the-scenes details that weren’t filmed or didn’t make the final cut were also shared — like Krieger’s vulnerable, late-night calls with Ben Shalom; Dreyfus taking Ben Shalom on a six-mile hike in Jackson Hole; Brezel’s mother baking the production team cookies in Brooklyn, and Ben Shalom helping Bergman hang a mezuzah on the doorpost of her Miami home.
During a Q&A session, everything was on the table. One man jokingly asked Bergman to rate his eyebrows — she gave him a solid 7.5. A young woman of Orthodox background asked Brezel how to be more vulnerable with matchmakers. The answer? It’s not necessary, Brezel responded, unless they are someone with whom you have a genuine connection — like Ben Shalom.
Of course, Ben Shalom delivered on what had brought so many there that evening: She shared her best dating tips, including that connection starts the moment you walk in the room — so present your best self inside and outside. She even brought some audience members on the stage for live matchmaking. Four volunteers from the audience — all women — were invited on stage; other audience members asked questions about their lives and dating preferences. After a few rounds of questions, Ben Shalom asked if anyone in the room knew of a good match — and, Jewish geography being what it is, four women headed into the evening with the contact information of three or four potential dates.
“I didn’t think I’d have so much fun during this experience — I feel like I’m more of like a type-A personality but [“Jewish Matchmaking”] really brought out my fun side,” Brezel, who brought friends and family friends to the event, told the New York Jewish Week. “Everywhere I go people are stopping me and asking for selfies. It’s such a crazy experience.”
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Circumcision could be ‘child abuse’ if done wrong, UK prosectors warn after deaths
(JTA) — British Jews are weighing in after authorities said they are considering deeming some circumcisions “a form of child abuse” following deaths from the procedure.
The Crown Prosecution Service, the region’s chief agency for criminal prosecutions, said that while male circumcision is not a crime, it may constitute child abuse “if carried out incorrectly or in inappropriate circumstances,” according to a draft document seen by the Guardian.
This document, which looked at circumcision as a potential “harmful practice” alongside virginity testing, breast flattening and exorcisms, has driven heated debate among Jewish and Muslim leaders since it was revealed this week.
The draft guidance follows a coroner’s report from Dec. 28 about Mohamed Abdisamad, a 6-month-old boy who died in London from a streptococcus infection caused by his circumcision in 2023.
The coroner warned of “a risk that future deaths could occur unless action is taken,” noting that “any individual may conduct a Non-Therapeutic Male Circumcision (NTMC) without any prior training.” He said there was no system to ensure that people who conduct religious circumcisions have accreditation or meet requirements for infection control.
In the past, another coroner raised similar concerns over the 2014 death of Oliver Asante-Yeboah, who developed sepsis after his circumcision by a rabbi. Male circumcision was a factor in 14 deaths in England and Wales since 2001, half of them men over 18 and half boys under 18, according to the Office for National Statistics.
Unlicensed circumcisions are a subject of mounting scrutiny in Europe, raising alarm in some Jewish communities. In May, Belgian police raided three homes in Antwerp as part of an investigation into illegal ritual circumcisions. And in 2024, a rabbi from London was arrested and imprisoned in Ireland for allegedly performing a circumcision without required credentials.
Some Jewish leaders swiftly condemned the Crown Prosecution Service document.
“Calling circumcision child abuse is fundamentally antisemitic,” said Gary Mond, founder of the Jewish National Assembly, to the Jewish News Syndicate.
Jonathan Arkush, co-chair of the Milah UK group that advocates for Jewish circumcision, told the Guardian that the document’s language about circumcision was “misleading” and he would be in touch with the prosecutors.
“The incidence of complications in circumcision performed in the Jewish community is vanishingly rare,” he said. “Circumcision is a core part of our identity.”
Other Jewish voices have urged action to enforce medically safe circumcisions. Rabbi Jonathan Romain, who oversees Reform Judaism’s religious court in Britain, said it was “time to clamp down on rogue practitioners” and called for mandatory training, monitoring and annual reports on the practice.
“Given that it is a longstanding and important tradition among Jews, Muslims and various other cultures, the best way forward is to only permit circumcision if it is practised by someone specifically qualified for it and who belongs to a nationally accredited scheme,” Romain said in a letter to the Guardian.
The Muslim Council of Britain also told the Guardian that it supports strengthening safeguards.
“Male circumcision is a lawful practice in the UK with recognised medical, religious and cultural foundations, and it should not be characterised in itself as child abuse,” said the group. “However, where procedures are carried out irresponsibly, without proper safeguards, and cause harm, they may rightly fall within the scope of criminal law.”
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Tulsa’s Jewish community pushes back on Oklahoma Jewish charter school proposal
(JTA) — Leaders of Tulsa’s Jewish community are publicly pushing back against a proposal to open a publicly funded Jewish charter school in Oklahoma, saying the plan was developed without meaningful local input and could destabilize existing Jewish institutions.
In a joint statement released this week, senior figures from Tulsa’s synagogues, Jewish day school and community organizations said they opposed efforts by an outside group to create what would become the only religious school in the country entirely funded by taxpayers — an arrangement whose constitutionality is contested.
“We are deeply concerned that an external Jewish organization would pursue such an initiative in Oklahoma without first engaging in meaningful consultation with the established Oklahoma Jewish community,” the statement said. “To bypass community consultation in favor of an externally driven initiative is a serious error.”
The statement was signed by leaders from across Tulsa’s Jewish community, including the executive director of the Mizel Jewish Community Day School, rabbis from two Tulsa synagogues, and the head of Jewish Tulsa, the local federation.
The response follows an application by the National Ben Gamla Jewish Charter School Foundation to open a statewide online charter school that would combine Oklahoma academic standards with daily Jewish religious instruction.
Ben Gamla was founded by former U.S. Rep. Peter Deutsch, who told the Oklahoma Statewide Charter School Board on Monday that many families in the state are looking for a religious education option.
“There are a lot of parents that are looking for a sort of a faith-based, rigorous academic program,” Deutsch said.
Tulsa Jewish leaders rejected that claim. In their statement, they said Oklahoma already has Jewish schools and synagogue programs and that they were never consulted about any unmet need.
“Our local boards, organizations and donors have invested heavily in our local Jewish educational system through a dedication to learning,” the statement said, citing the day school and other community programs.
The application also raises a larger legal issue that board members openly acknowledged.
At Monday’s meeting, board chairman Brian Shellem said there was an “elephant in the room” given the board’s recent approval of another religious charter school — the St. Isidore of Seville Catholic Virtual School — which was later ruled unconstitutional by the Oklahoma Supreme Court and left unresolved after a 4-4 split at the U.S. Supreme Court.
Ben Gamla’s lawyers say that split leaves the door open.
“The exclusion of religious charters based on faith violates [U.S.] Supreme Court precedents that ensure equal access to public education for everyone, regardless of religion,” Eric Baxter, a senior lawyer at Becket, the religious-liberty firm representing Ben Gamla, said in a statement.
Baxter said Peter Deutsch consulted with local rabbis and parents during visits to Oklahoma in 2023.
“Contrary to claims of no engagement, Peter Deutsch consulted with local rabbis and parents during exploratory visits in 2023,” Baxter said. “Far from bypassing the community, Peter’s proposal builds on those consultations to expand faith-based choices for families, and we urge the Board to assess it on its merits.”
When asked who specifically Deutsch consulted with and whether here has been any consultation since then, Becket did not provide details. Instead, a firm spokesperson accused local Jewish institutions of trying to block competition.
“Sometimes, institutions that see potential new competitors will attempt to keep those competitors out of the market for educational providers,” said Ryan Colby, a spokesperson for Becket. He added, “While the Jewish Federation is entitled to its own opinions, it does not speak for all Jews.”
Colby added that Deutsch has spoken with Jews who support the proposal and said he expects non-Jewish families would also enroll.
The Oklahoma Statewide Charter School Board is expected to vote on the application as early as soon as its next monthly meeting on Feb. 19.
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Travel disrupted, fears elevated as Israel weathers uncertainty over potential US strike on Iran
(JTA) — Several European carriers canceled flights to Tel Aviv on Wednesday as turmoil over a potential U.S. strike on Iran roiled the skies and elevated fears in Israel.
President Donald Trump has threatened for days to intervene in Iran if the government proceeds with plans to execute protesters who have staged weeks of demonstrations against the autocratic religious regime there. Thousands of protesters have been killed in the streets, according to both government and opposition sources, and Tehran had planned a first execution of a protester arrested during the demonstrations on Thursday.
That execution was postponed amid sharp pressure from the United States, as signs piled up that Trump may plan to go forward with a military option against Iran. U.S. planes have moved within the region, several countries including the United States have urged nonessential personnel to leave the region and Iran briefly closed its airspace on Wednesday night.
On Thursday, reports emerged that Gulf states had talked Trump out of an imminent attack. But the uncertainty — and the recollection that Trump had appeared to waffle before striking Iran last year — has escalated fears in Israel, which is the Islamic Republic of Iran’s sworn enemy.
Iran and Israel fought a deadly 12-day war last year. This time, Israel and Iran have reportedly exchanged assurances, via Russia, that they would not strike each other first, but Iranian officials have said they could attack Israel alongside U.S. targets if Trump strikes Iran.
Daily life in Israel has not been interrupted, but Israelis are on high alert for a potential rehash of last year, when Iranian missiles sent them running to safe rooms multiple times and killed dozens of people.
So far, Lufthansa canceled some flights, then announced that it would revamp its schedule to prevent its employees from being in Israel overnight, when any Iranian retaliation is seen as more likely. A flight from New York was delayed on Wednesday while its carrier reportedly changed its route, igniting fears that the tensions had moved into a new phase. And some travelers have opted not to press on with their Israel trips, fearing being stuck in the country if conditions deteriorate.
At the same time, Israelis and Jews around the world, including tens of thousands of Persian Jews who fled following the ascendance of the Islamic Republic in 1979, are rooting for the protesters and against the regime. The American Jewish Committee issued a statement late Wednesday in support of the protesters.
“The international community has a moral responsibility to act in solidarity with the Iranian people and to advance a safer region and a more peaceful Middle East,” the organization said.
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