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Converting to Judaism has defined my high school experience
This article was produced as part of JTA’s Teen Journalism Fellowship, a program that works with Jewish teens around the world to report on issues that affect their lives.
(JTA) — During the pandemic, my mom decided to start baking; my friend Reagan learned Osage, a Native American language; my brother taught himself how to skateboard.
I decided to channel my free time and energy into converting to Judaism.
Growing up in the Bible Belt, I was only ever exposed to Christian theology. Almost everyone around me was a Baptist. Although my parents intentionally raised my brother and me without a focus on religion, I grew up going to Christian preschool, Christian summer camps, and being surrounded by other Christians–just because there weren’t other options. While this wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, I always knew that Christianity wasn’t right for me.
At first, the idea of eternal life and an all-knowing God provided comfort, but as I got older I started to feel disconnected from Christianity. Concepts like the Holy Trinity never made sense to me, and by age 12 I thought I had given up on religion entirely.
I first started looking into Judaism towards the end of 2020. I’m not really sure what led me to this; I just stumbled upon it and found that its emphasis on making the ordinary holy, repairing the world, and the pursuit of knowledge was a perfect fit for my already existing beliefs. My parents were a little bit shocked but ultimately supportive when I told them that I wanted to convert. My mom’s main concern was that I would become the target of antisemitism. “I’m happy for you and try not to think about the what-ifs,” she said while driving me to the Jewish community center so that I could board the bus headed to the BBYO Jewish youth group’s International Convention.
In the spring of 2021, I emailed the rabbi at a local synagogue about my potential conversion. During our first conversation, he asked me if I’d heard about the custom of rabbis turning away potential candidates three times. I told him I had, but that if he turned me away I would just keep coming back. After the meeting, I signed up for conversion classes and started attending services regularly — and I wasn’t alone.
According to a 2021 Tablet survey, 43% of American rabbis are seeing more conversion candidates than before. The reasons for conversion are diverse. Some candidates fell down an internet rabbit hole that led to a passion for Judaism. Others took an ancestry test and wanted to reconnect with their Jewish heritage. Many were raised as Reform Jews but weren’t Jewish according to stricter halachic, or Jewish legal, standards and decided to convert under Conservative or Orthodox auspices. Despite the common stereotype that Jews by choice must be converting for the sake of marriage, many rabbis said that converts are less likely than ever to be converting for a Jewish partner.
After meeting with a rabbi about the potential conversion, candidates are expected to learn everything they can about Judaism. In my case, that meant 21 weeks of hour-long, weekly conversion classes in addition to independent study on Jewish mysticism, traditions, and ideas. Candidates are also expected to become active members of their local Jewish community and attend services regularly.
Once the candidate and the rabbi feel they are ready to convert, a beit din, or a court usually made up of three rabbis, is assembled. They will conduct an interview, asking the candidate about what brought them to Judaism and basic questions about what was taught during conversion classes. When the beit din has guaranteed that the candidate genuinely wants to convert, the candidate immerses in the mikveh, a pool used for ritual purification. After submerging in the mikveh, the convert is considered to be officially Jewish and is typically called up for an aliyah, ascending the platform where the Torah is read.
According to Rabbi Darah Lerner, who served in Bangor, Maine before her retirement last year, the main difference between teens converting alone and teens converting with their family is the parental approval that’s needed, but otherwise the process is very similar. “I treated them pretty much as I did with adults,” she said. For me, the only parental approval needed was my mom telling my rabbi that she and my dad were fine with me starting the conversion process. She also noted that it was easier for teens to integrate into the Jewish community because people were excited to see young people interested in Judaism.
A mikveh, like this one at Mayyim Hayyim outside of Boston, is a ritual pool where Jews by choice immerse as part of the conversion process. (Courtesy Mayyim Hayyim)
She said that the Jewish community gave the teens a place where they could ask questions and not be shut down. “If they have a pushback, or a curiosity, or a problem we allow them to ask it and we give them real answers or resources,” she said.
“I feel extremely privileged when youth come to me with these questions and these desires,” Rabbi Rachael Jackson, from Hendersonville, North Carolina. Jackson has worked with three teens in the conversion process over the past two years. Like Lerner, she doesn’t require teens to wait until they turn 18 to begin the conversion process. However, it’s not unusual for rabbis to recommend that teens wait until they turn 18 to begin their conversion.
My conversion process has defined my high school experience. I’ve been able to connect with other Jews at my school through BBYO, which has helped me find a community at school and meet people who I might not have met otherwise. Although it’s made me feel farther from the Christian community I was once a part of, Judaism has given me spiritual fulfillment, a love for Israel, and a sense of community — both in my synagogue and my BBYO chapter.
Others who have gone through the process feel much the same way. “I wouldn’t even recognize myself,” said Haven Lail, 17, from Hickory, North Carolina. “My whole personality is based on being Jewish. That’s what I love.” Adopted into a Jewish family at age 12, Lail felt drawn to Judaism because of the loving and accepting community she found.
Raised as a nondenominational Christian, Lail attended church regularly with her biological parents, but not for the religious aspect. “It was all hellfire and brimstone,” she said. Neglected by her birth parents, she only went to church because she knew there would be food there.
Lail started the conversion process at age 12 through a Hebrew high school, and four years later, she submerged in the mikveh and signed a certificate finalizing her conversion. The process was simple, but she was shocked that so few Jews knew about the conversion process. “It was a little weird,” she said.
The Talmud says that because “the Jewish people were themselves strangers, they are not in a position to demean a convert because he is a stranger in their midst.” However, it isn’t uncommon for converts to feel alienated from the rest of the Jewish community. “There’s this fear of going to college and still being othered because you still won’t quite fit in with the people who have been raised Jewish,” said one high school senior from North Carolina.
He was shocked by how alienated he felt after making his conversion public, and wanted to stay anonymous because he worries that once people find out that he converted, they’ll see him differently. “I didn’t ever really explain it to anybody except for the people really close to me,” he said. But after his rabbi called him up for an aliyah — a blessing recited during the reading of the Torah — one woman from the congregation began to bring it up to him every time she saw him. “People don’t realize that it can be a touchy thing and very, very othering,” he said.
I usually don’t mind personal questions about my conversion, but asking someone why they converted or pointing out that someone is a convert is frowned upon by Jewish law. I used to feel like everyone could tell that I wasn’t raised Jewish, but after one of my BBYO advisors thought that my conversion was just a rumor and couldn’t believe that it was true, I realized that wasn’t the case.
All of my friends and peers who were raised Jewish have memories of Jewish summer camps, Shabbat dinners with family, and a lifetime of other experiences. I often struggle with not feeling “Jewish enough” or like I missed out, especially because so many Jewish customs revolve around the home and family. My parents will often come with me to Shabbat services, but don’t participate in Jewish customs or celebrate Jewish holidays with me. “Anything that is a ritual in the home, they don’t really have the ability to have that autonomy,” said Rabbi Rachael Jackson of Agudas Israel Congregation in Hendersonville, North Carolina.
Grace Hamilton, a student at Muskingum University in New Concord, Ohio, has struggled with imposter syndrome during her conversion. Ever since she started college, she’s been questioning her place in the Jewish community and hasn’t been practicing Judaism as much as she used to. “I haven’t prayed in a really long time,” she said. She used to tell herself that once she finalized her conversion she would finally feel Jewish enough, but after a conversation with her rabbi, she realized that wasn’t the case.
According to Rabbi Rochelle Tulik at Temple B’rith Kodesh in Rochester, New York, many converts feel like they will never be Jewish enough. “That, no matter how hard they try, how many books they read or put on their shelves, no matter how often they come to services, or how many menorahs they light, somehow they’ll be caught,” she said in a Rosh Hashanah sermon she named “You Are Not an Imposter.”
Despite the struggles that many converts face, others like Rabbi Natasha Mann, who now serves as a rabbi at New London Synagogue in England, immediately felt at home within the Jewish community. “I felt like people were excited to have me there and wanted to hear what I had to say,” she said. After a family member mentioned that she might have Jewish ancestry, Mann began exploring out of curiosity. “I started looking into it, just because I felt that it was another piece of the puzzle,” she said.
Coming from an interreligious and intercultural family, she wanted to explore another aspect of her heritage, but ended up connecting with Judaism in a way that she hadn’t connected with any other religion. After two years of study, she decided to officially start her conversion process.
The Jewish community gave Mann a place where her ideas were taken seriously and she could have religious discussions, even as a teen. “I don’t know what my life would have looked like if I hadn’t found somewhere to really express and delve into that,” she said. “And luckily, I never have to.”
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Antisemitism tensions rise as NYC Young Republicans host white nationalists, conspiracy theorists at annual gala
(JTA) — The guest list at the New York Young Republican Club’s annual gala on Saturday included white nationalists, antisemitic conspiracy theorists and a Jewish City Councilwoman, who ultimately decided not to attend.
Inna Vernikov, a Jewish City Council member who represents a south Brooklyn district with a large Russian Jewish population, did not attend despite being promoted as an “honored guest.” Vernikov, who was one of a few politicians to back out, later suggested on social media that her absence was connected to antisemitism on the right.
Those who did attend the gala included a NYYRC member and former George Santos staffer who had posted a video depicting Jews as cockroaches, costing him his job on Matt Gaetz’s news show; politicians from Germany’s far-right party which the country officially labeled an extremist group; Jared Taylor, the editor of a white supremacist website called American Renaissance; and Sneako, the streamer who posts antisemitic content and has said “people are sick of hearing about the Holocaust.”
Meanwhile, avowed antisemite Nick Fuentes said he received an invite and made the trip to New York — even though the New York Young Republican Club said by email on Monday that he “was never formally invited.”
Fuentes was seen lingering outside Cipriani, the upscale restaurant where the gala took place, Politico reported, but did not attend the event itself. He recorded a stream with Sneako following the black-tie affair, saying his invite had been rescinded at the last minute to avoid a potential “revolt.”
Saturday’s gala was held during a moment of growing debate about antisemitism on the right, and as Fuentes’ seemingly ascendant role within the Republican Party has emerged as a source of anxiety among more mainstream Republicans.
The New York Young Republicans Club has generated some of the angst. Just weeks ago, the club’s statewide counterpart disbanded in the wake of leaked group chats in which officials joked about gas chambers, praised Adolf Hitler and used racist, antisemitic and homophobic slurs. (Attendees seemingly referenced those texts on Saturday, according to Talking Points Memo, joking with each other that they were “neo-Nazis.”)
The debate on the right has centered largely around how to deal with figures like Fuentes, who calls Hitler “cool” and has been interviewed by major personalities like Tucker Carlson and Piers Morgan.
Republican politicians, including non-Jewish ones such as Ted Cruz and Lindsey Graham, have scorched Carlson for his friendly interview with Fuentes. Vice President JD Vance, meanwhile, has drawn scrutiny for not condemning Carlson or Fuentes, and for previous instances of not pushing back against antisemitic conspiracies. Vance also downplayed the leaked texts as “jokes” and said critics should “grow up.” Trump, meanwhile, defended Carlson, saying, “You can’t tell him who to interview.” (He also dined with Fuentes and rapper Kanye West in 2022, but later said he didn’t know who Fuentes was.)
On Sunday, the day after the gala, Vernikov took to X to post about the Republicans’ growing antisemitism problem, saying, “I will DISASSOCIATE myself from any event, individual, or organization whether Democrat or Republican, that welcomes these vile bigots into their mist, defends them or amplifies their voices,” referring to figures like Fuentes, Carlson and Candace Owens.
Antisemitic rhetoric “has fully infiltrated the Democratic Party,” Vernikov wrote on X, adding, “Unfortunately today the same venom has entered corners of the conservative movement and the hard RIGHT WING of the Republican Party.”
Then she named names, writing, “Lunatics like Nick Fuentes, Candace Owens and Tucker Carlson, who spew bigoted, racist and antisemitic rhetoric, should be condemned and excommunicated from the Republican Party never to be welcomed again.”
Vernikov declined to comment further on the event.
The gala was hosted by Matan Even, an 18-year-old Israeli-American YouTuber known for his pranks, such as crashing a 2022 Game Awards speech to thank his “Reform Orthodox rabbi, Bill Clinton.” Even’s humor, which involved singing the “Spongebob Squarepants” theme song onstage, seemingly did not land. Even is Jewish but has recorded streams with Sneako despite the latter’s use of antisemitic conspiracy theories.
Right-wing pundit and activist Jack Posobiec was the event’s keynote speaker, and delivered a fiery speech in which he spoke about Charlie Kirk’s death while holding a rosary.
The far-right Alternative for Germany party, or AfD, was represented at the gala by about 20 lawmakers at the state, federal and EU levels. The AfD has drawn criticism for using slogans similar to the Nazi party’s and was classified this year as a right-wing extremist organization by Germany’s domestic intelligence agency.
Rep. Dan Goldman, the Democratic congressman whose district includes Lower Manhattan, where the gala was held, wrote earlier on Saturday that the NYYRC was “rolling out the red carpet for leaders of Germany’s Nazi-cosplaying AfD party.”
“I condemn it in the strongest of terms, as should my New York Republican colleagues,” he wrote. “The AfD and their bigotry is not welcome in NY-10.”
At the gala, a protester wearing a Nazi armband was removed after popping up from his seat and reportedly yelling “I guess we’re all Nazis!” In a video recorded outside after his removal, the protester, who later said he was Jewish, pointed to the Nazi symbol and said, “This is what this event represents,” naming specifically the invitations of Vish Burra — the man who posted a video depicting Jews as roaches — and of AfD officials.
The NYYRC’s Twitter account countered accusations of being “Nazis” by writing that “the only swastika in the room was held by a left-wing freak protester who we forcefully booted from the premises.”
The protester was told to “go back to Israel” by an attendee, who then accepted the swastika banner from the protester and left with it.
Stefano Forte, the club’s president, spoke defiantly about the NYYRC’s partnership with the AfD.
“You want us to denounce the AfD? You want us to denounce our allies? You want us to denounce those that stand with us?” he asked.
“Well here’s a denunciation. We unequivocally denounce the fake news media that distorts the truth to put us in danger,” he said, referring to right-wingers being labelled “Nazis” as leading to assassination attempts on Trump and Charlie Kirk.
Forte also declared that the club was “prepared to endorse” Trump for a third presidential term in 2028, drawing loud applause.
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Jewish donors help raise $1.3M for Ahmed al Ahmed, the Muslim man who disarmed a Bondi Beach attacker
(JTA) — A crowdfunding campaign to support Ahmed al Ahmed, the Muslim fruit seller shot after disarming one of the men who was attacking a Hanukkah event in Sydney, generated $1.3 in its first day — with the largest donation coming from the American Jewish billionaire Bill Ackman.
Ackman gave $66,000 to the GoFundMe for al Ahmed and promoted the campaign to his followers, tweeting, “This is the verified link for the Bondi hero.”
In a viral video on Sunday, shortly after the attack on Bondi Beach that left 15 killed and over 40 injured, al Ahmed, 43, can be seen crouching behind a car before jumping into action as one of the terrorists shoots a firearm at the Jewish celebration. Al Ahmed, a Syrian-born father of two who was unarmed, then jumped on the attacker from behind, wresting the firearm from his hands.
“In a moment of chaos and danger, he stepped forward without hesitation,” the sponsors of the GoFundMe, Car Hub Australia, wrote on the page. “His actions were selfless, instinctive, and undeniably heroic, taken without regard for his own safety. Early reports indicate he was shot twice in the process while protecting others.”
As al Ahmed’s heroic actions were shared widely on social media on Sunday, he garnered praise from Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese.
As al Ahmed recovered from his injuries in a hospital on Monday, he was visited by Chris Minns, the premier of New South Wales, the Australian state that includes Sydney.
“Ahmed is a real-life hero,” wrote Minns in a post on X alongside a photo of him visiting al Ahmed in the hospital. “Last night, his incredible bravery no doubt saved countless lives when he disarmed a terrorist at enormous personal risk.”
Praise also poured in on social media from Jewish leaders in the United States, including the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum and Vermont Independent Sen. Bernie Sanders.
“Ahmed al Ahmed, a Muslim father of two, risked his life to disarm a murderer who was shooting down Jews celebrating Hanukkah in Sydney,” wrote Sanders in a post on X. “Religion must not divide our common humanity. We must stand together and end antisemitism, Islamophobia and all hate — no exceptions.”
For others, al Ahmed’s act of bravery during the massacre appeared to be divine intervention — coming as it did at a time when many Jews feel isolated and abandoned by their non-Jewish allies.
“I’ve been thinking about this man Ahmed and his selfless act of courage, and I can’t help but feel that it as an act of God,” wrote Jewish social media influencer Alana Zeitchik in a post on Instagram. “It is a message that could only have been written by something higher than all of us. Like all actions it has a ripple effect. In this moment of immense grief and fear, his actions repair a painful tear in the collective Jewish soul that so badly needed to be tended to.”
She continued, “He will be cherished and spoken about by our people for generations.”
Among the 34,000 donors to the GoFundMe campaign so far are several who said in notes that they were Jewish and explained why they donated unusual sums, in multiples of $18.
“Ahmed, you are a true hero. As a Jewish supporter, I donated $180 USD because 18 (“chai”) represents life. Your courage embodied that meaning in the most profound way,” wrote Craig Gross. “Thank you for what you did, and may you heal fully and quickly.”
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4 members of pro-Palestinian group arrested for planning bombings across Los Angeles
(JTA) — Federal authorities have arrested four people in connection to an alleged plot to bomb locations across Southern California on New Year’s Eve.
The four suspects — Audrey Ilene Carroll, 30, Dante Garfield, 24, Zachary Aaron Page, 32, and Tina Lai, 41 — are members of the Turtle Island Liberation Front, an offshoot of a pro-Palestinian far-left extremist group, according to the Department of Justice and FBI.
Attorney General Pam Bondi announced the arrests in a post on X on Monday, writing that the arrests had foiled what “would have been a massive and horrific terror plot in the Central District of California.”
“The Turtle Island Liberation Front—a far-left, pro-Palestine, anti-government, and anti-capitalist group—was preparing to conduct a series of bombings against multiple targets in California beginning on New Year’s Eve. The group also planned to target ICE agents and vehicles,” wrote Bondi.
The group’s name is an Indigenous reference to the American continent, and the group promotes aggressive actions in support of decolonization.
“Peaceful protest will never be enough,” wrote the group in a recent social media post. “Free occupied Turtle Island from the illegal American empire. Free Palestine. Free Hawaii. Free Puerto Rico.”
Earlier this month, the group posted the address of the Wilshire Boulevard Temple, inviting followers to “join us in a protest against these genocidal monsters” while the synagogue was hosting Israeli speakers. Two people were arrested during the pro-Palestinian protest at the synagogue, which was called “abhorrent” by Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass.
The arrests in the alleged New Year’s plot took place last week in the Mojave Desert where the suspects were allegedly planning to test improvised explosive devices. The group now faces charges including conspiracy and possession of an unregistered destructive device, according to a complaint filed in the U.S. District Court for the Central District of California.
Patel said that the FBI had also arrested a “FIFTH individual believed to be linked to this radical TILF subgroup – also allegedly planning a separate violent attack.”
On Monday, a post on what appeared to be the group’s instagram account of a “Palestine Pop Up” market was flooded with comments about the arrest: “Have fun in jail,” many of the comments said.
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