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How Judy Blume’s ‘Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret’ broke taboos around interfaith marriage

(JTA) — When Judy Blume’s young adult novel “Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret” appeared in 1970, intermarried families were a small segment of the American Jewish population. Perhaps 17% of Jews were married to someone who wasn’t Jewish; today, 42% of married Jews have a spouse who is not Jewish, and in the past decade, 61% of Jews married non-Jewish partners

Through the 1960s, middle-grade and young adult fiction rarely acknowledged the existence of these families, reflecting and reinforcing their outsider status. Today it is routine for authors to address the reality of inter-religious and culturally mixed families, portraying them with insight and compassion. (See “Not Your All-American Girl” by Wendy Wan-Long Shang and Madelyn Rosenberg, “Becoming Brianna” by Terri Libenson and “The Whole Story of Half a Girl” by Veera Hiranandani.)

This change was made possible partly by Blume’s story of sixth-grader Margaret Simon and her one-sided conversations with God. 

Blume’s status as a pioneer in young adult literature is usually associated with her honest approach to the emotional, physical and sexual milestones of growing up, with her works still attracting readers and still finding an honored place on lists of banned books. That legacy is being celebrated in April with a new documentary, Amazon Prime Video’s “Judy Blume Forever,” and a theatrical release by Lionsgate of a feature film version of “Are You There God?”

Yet her treatment of contested identity in intermarried families is as revolutionary as her openness about bras, menstruation and sexual feelings. Actors Lena Dunham and Molly Ringwald, comedian Samantha Bee and many authors, including Raina Telgemeier, Tayari Jones and Gary Shteyngart, have cited Blume’s influence on both their lives and their work. Book lists for intermarried families frequently list the novel as a resource.

Margaret Simon is 11 years old at the start of “Are You There God?” Her Jewish dad and Christian mom have pointedly ignored the possibility that their daughter might have questions about her identity. Along with other issues of teen angst, she feels compelled to decide if she is Jewish, Christian or neither. Without any guidance, the last alternative leaves her in a frightening void. As she pointedly asks God, in her ongoing series of questions for Him, “I can’t go on being nothing forever, can I?”

Margaret’s parents, Barbara Hutchins and Herb Simon, fell in love and defied their respective parents by marrying out of their faiths. They assure Margaret that she has no religion, but can choose one when she is older, oblivious to the fact that this solution seems more of a burden than a promise of future freedom. Their avoidance of any serious engagement with either religion or culture renders any possible choice unlikely. 

Blume situates Margaret’s search within the specific landscape of post-World War II America. When the Simons decide to leave their Upper West Side home in New York City and move to suburban New Jersey, their decision suggests a coded reference to their religious status. Long Island is “too social,” an implied euphemism for “too Jewish.” Living there might have made it harder for their relatively unusual situation to be discreetly ignored. On the other hand, the more affluent Westchester and Connecticut are “too expensive” and “too inconvenient.” Farbrook, New Jersey has enough Jews for it to feel right for Herb, but not so many as to make their mixed family stand out. 

Margaret also suspects that her parents’ are determined to put distance between the Simons and Sylvia, her paternal grandmother, who lives in New York City. This gregarious woman shows up at their new home unannounced and toting deli foods, making it clear that Margaret’s one unambiguous connection to Judaism is not going to disappear. While Barbara’s parents utterly rejected her when she married a Jew, Sylvia has pragmatically decided to accept what she cannot change. In the postwar era, more Jews began to abandon or minimize religious practice, while still maintaining ethnically distinct customs. Like holiday observance or synagogue attendance, ethnic Jewish culture is also absent from the Simon home. Sylvia’s Jewish food, her frequent trips to Florida, even her combination of sarcasm and smothering warmth, provide Margaret with markers of the tradition her parents have eschewed. 

Still, when Sylvia repeatedly asks Margaret if her (nonexistent) boyfriends are Jewish, the young girl is baffled. Given her own lack of consciousness of herself as Jewish, why would Margaret care?

Rachel McAdams and Abby Ryder Fortson in the forthcoming film adaptation of “Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.” (Dana Hawley/Lionsgate © 2022)

In the larger world of Farbrook, Margaret’s new friends seem to have more secure identities, conveniently defined by membership either in the “Y” (Young Men’s Christian Association) or the Jewish Community Center. Perfunctory attendance at Hebrew school until after one’s bar mitzvah is the furthest extent of her peers’ Jewishness. Margaret explains that her parents are “nothing” and that, prior to their marriage, they were Jewish and Christian, as if those identities could be cast off like an article of clothing. When Mr. Benedict, her enthusiastic young teacher, distributes a questionnaire, Margaret completes the prompt “I hate” with “religious holidays.” He attempts to draw her out about this troubling answer, and she scornfully observes that her teacher acted as if “he had uncovered some deep, dark mystery.” 

On one level, he has. Her mother’s blandly universal definition of God as a “nice idea,” who “belongs to everybody,” is clearly a denial of the fractures in her family members’ lives. 

Blume also captures the essence of mid-century non-Orthodox Judaism as comfortably accessible, yet also somewhat empty. On a visit to Grandma Sylvia’s elegant temple, the atmosphere is quietly decorous, the sanctuary filled with well-appointed congregants and beautifully arranged flowers. Sylvia’s rabbi greets Margaret with an enthusiastic “Good Yom Tov,” which he translates as “Happy New Year,” although it is actually a generic holiday greeting. 

When Margaret later visits Presbyterian and Methodist churches, she notes the remarkable similarity among all three experiences.

The novel’s one incident of specific religious practice involves Margaret’s brief, unfinished confession in a classmate’s Catholic church. Having participated in bullying, Margaret tries to assuage her guilt through a ritual alien to both her father’s Judaism and her mother’s Protestant Christianity. She even momentarily confuses the priest with the silent God of her conversations. Nothing could be further from her parents’ rejection of religion, or from Grandma Sylvia’s loving assurance to Margaret that “I knew you were a Jewish girl at heart.”

When Margaret’s Christian grandparents decide to resume contact, the suppressed anger in the Simon home finally erupts. Herb is furious, and accuses his in-laws of only wanting to meet Margaret “to make sure she doesn’t have horns!” — a caustic reference to a persistent antisemitic myth. Blume had subtly foreshadowed this disruption of the status quo in a parallel event at school. When a Jewish student, backed by his parents, refuses to sing Christmas carols, the implicit agreement of the town’s Jews to quietly conform is broken. A Christian girl, in what seems an act of retaliation, then refuses to sing Hanukkah songs. These acts of resistance reinforce Margaret’s marginal status. Her intermarried family represents neither conformity with postwar norms nor an assertion of Jewish pride.

Blume appears to tip the scales in her portrayal of Mary and Paul Hutchins, Margaret’s maternal grandparents. Entirely unlikeable, simultaneously pushy and cold, they insist that the granddaughter they had never acknowledged is Christian. After their failed visit, Grandma Sylvia returns, along with her sweet and obviously Jewish new boyfriend, Mr. Binamin (“rhymes with cinnamon”). Readers rooting for the triumph of Margaret’s Jewish roots may breathe a sigh of relief here, but hope for a satisfying ending is illusory. Margaret’s search for a stable sense of self is still unfinished, and will not be satisfied by choosing membership in either the Y or the JCC. 

For young readers, the novel’s discussion of religious identity proved as life-changing as its honest portrayal of puberty and menstruation. “I related to that kind of conflict of religion,” the comedian Chelsea Handler, who grew up in a mixed Jewish-Mormon home, told Blume in 2020. “At that time, I just found out my mom was Mormon, on top of thinking she was Jewish, and your books were such a reprieve for me and such a joy.”

More than 50 years ago, Judy Blume tackled a difficult subject, about both changing demographics and the search for authenticity in American Jewish life. Margaret’s conclusion that “twelve is very late to learn” about the essence of who you are still poses a challenge, while her persistent search for a meaningful identity offers a degree of optimism.


The post How Judy Blume’s ‘Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret’ broke taboos around interfaith marriage appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.

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Yiddish has a long list of words for ‘cemetery‘

נישט אַלע ווייסן אַז אויף ייִדיש איז דאָ אַ גאַנצער וואָקאַבולאַר וועגן דעם, וווּ מע לייגט ייִדן נאָכן טויט.

וואָס טוט מען טאַקע מיט אַ מת? מע באַגראָבט אים אָדער מע באַהאַלט אים, אָדער מע איז אים מקבר, אָדער מע ברענגט אים צו קבֿר־ישׂראל. „באַגראָבן“ האָט דאָך אויך אַ פֿאַרשפּרייטן מעטאַפֿאָרישן טײַטש, „רויִנירן“. אָט איז דאָ אַ ווערטערשפּיל: „שטאַרבן איז נאָך ווי ס’איז, אָבער דאָס אַרײַנלייגן אין דר’ערד, דאָס באַגראָבט אַ מענטשן!“

וועגן דעם אָרט, וווּ ס’ליגן ייִדן נאָכן טויט, איז דאָ אַ לאַנגע רשימה ווערטער, כּמעט אַלע אייפֿעמיזמען. נאָך די הונדערט יאָר ליגן ייִדן און ייִדישע טעכטער, קודם־כּל, אויף אַ בית־עולם. אויף לשון־קודש איז „עולם“, פֿאַרשטייט זיך, טײַטש „וועלט“ און אויף ייִדיש — „אַ גרופּע מענטשן“; אָבער אויף לשון־קודש האָט „עולם“ נאָך אַ טײַטש, „אייביקייט“. איז אַ בית־עולם דאָס אָרט, וווּ מע בלײַבט אויף אייביק. דאָס אייגענע איז שייך צום אַרמיש־שטאַמיקע „בית־עלמין“.

אַ פֿאַל פֿון לשון סגי־נהור, דאָס הייסט וווּ מע זאָגט איין זאַך אָבער מע מיינט דאָס פֿאַרקערטע, איז „בית־חיים“, טײַטש „דאָס הויז פֿון לעבן“. אַן אַנדער וואָרט, נישט קיין אייפֿעמיזם, איז „בית־הקבֿרות“, דאָס הייסט, דאָרטן, וווּ ס’געפֿינען זיך קבֿרים.

אָבער נישט אַלע ווערטער נעמען זיך פֿון לשון־קודש. מע זאָגט דאָך אויך „דאָס פֿעלד“, „דאָס גוטע־אָרט“, „דאָס הייליקע אָרט“, „דאָס ריינע אָרט“. אַ טשיקאַווער משל דערפֿון: איך בין אַ מאָל געפֿאָרן אין דער שטאָט גער, נישט ווײַט פֿון וואַרשע, וואָס ביזן חורבן איז זי געווען דער זיץ פֿונעם באַקאַנטן גערער רבין. אין 2007 זענען אין דער שטאָט געבליבן גאַנצע דרײַ ייִדן, האָב איך געהאַט די זכיה זיך צו באַקענען, און צו כאַפּן אַ ייִדישן שמועס, מיט צוויי. (וויפֿל מאָל אין לעבן איז מיר אויסגעקומען צו שמועסן אויף ייִדיש מיט אַ ייִד, וואָס האָט איבערגעלעבט דעם חורבן און וווינט נאָך אין זײַן מיזרח־אייראָפּעיִשער היימשטאָט?)

איינער פֿון זיי, וועלוול קאַרפּמאַן, האָט מיט אַ פּאָר יאָר שפּעטער געגעבן אַן אינטערוויו דער ייִדישער ראַדיאָ־אוידיציע פֿונעם פּוילישן ראַדיאָ (צום באַדויערן, האָט מען די ראַדיאָ־אוידיציע דערנאָכדעם אָפּגעשאַפֿט). ווען די זשורנאַליסטקע האָט אים אַ פֿרעג געטאָן וועגן דעם גורל פֿונעם גערער בית־עולם, האָט ער זי איבערגעפֿרעגט: „איר מיינט ס’גוטע־אָרט?“ יעדעס מאָל, וואָס זי האָט ווײַטער געזאָגט „בית־עולם“, האָט ער געענטפֿערט „ס’גוטע־אָרט“.

אויך בײַ די אומות־העולם זענען די ווערטער דערפֿאַר אייפֿעמיזמען. דאָס פֿאַרשפּרייטסטע וואָרט אין אייראָפּע איז ס’ענגלישע cemetery, ס’פֿראַנצייזישע cimetière אד”גל, פֿון אַן אַלטגריכישן ווערב פֿאַר „ליגן/לייגן שלאָפֿן“. גאָר אַ מאָל, פֿאַר דער הײַנטיקער צײַט־רעכענונג, איז ס’גריכישע וואָרט געווען טײַטש „שלאָפֿשטוב“; בײַ די קריסטן בשעתּו האָט עס באַקומען דעם מאָדערנעם טײַטש. אַ ווײַטער קרובֿ פֿון דעם וואָרט איז ס’ייִדישע „היים“, אַ פּנים, ווײַל אין דער היים שלאָפֿט מען, אָבער נישט פּונקט אַזוי ווי אויפֿן בית־עולם…

דאָס דײַטשישע Friedhof איז דער „שלום־הויף“; און Kirchhof „קלויסטערהויף“ איז מגולגל געוואָרן אינעם פּוילישן Kirkut „ייִדישער בית־עולם“!

און אַזוי ווי מאַמע־לשון האָט פּאַראַלעלע וואָקאַבולאַרן פֿאַר ייִדן און פֿאַר קריסטן איז גאָר קיין חידוש נישט, וואָס אויפֿן אָרט, וווּ ס’ליגן קריסטן זאָגט מען „צווינטער“ אָדער „צמענטער“, מסתּמא, פֿון פּוילישן cmentarz פֿונעם זעלביקן גריכישן שורש וואָס cemetery.

The post Yiddish has a long list of words for ‘cemetery‘ appeared first on The Forward.

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IHOP denies inviting Florida GOP candidate who said ‘Americans shouldn’t die for Israel’

(JTA) — James Fishback, the fringe GOP candidate courting the online far right in his long-shot bid for governor of Florida, had a bit of food-service drama this week — and it wasn’t about the “goyslop” he previously claimed was being served in the state’s school cafeterias.

Waffle House, he alleged, had banned him from every restaurant in the state after he announced his intent to campaign at the chain’s Florida locations. The reason, he claimed, was because he said that “Americans shouldn’t die for Israel.”

But not to worry, Fishback quickly announced: Another breakfast chain, International House of Pancakes, had extended an invitation to him personally.

“Hey, wanna come over?” reads a direct message Fishback posted to social media, a photo of which appears to come from IHOP’s official corporate account. An elated Fishback soon posted photos from a campaign stop at an IHOP, which he deemed “International House of Patriots.”

Not so, an IHOP spokesperson told the Jewish Telegraphic Agency.

“Since our founding, IHOP and its franchisees have been committed to providing warm and welcoming dining experiences for all guests. We are not working with James Fishback or his campaign in any capacity,” the spokesperson told JTA in an email. “Additionally, we have confirmed that the image circulating on social media is not authentic.”

Fishback did not return a request for comment by JTA about IHOP’s claim. The former investment banker has used terms on the campaign trail considered dogwhistles to the online far right and boasts a large online profile that has included interviews with Tucker Carlson and antisemitic podcaster Myron Gaines. He has also praised the followers of antisemitic streamer Nick Fuentes.

Asked by JTA why he had made his earlier “goyslop” comments, Fishback replied, “Because it’s funny. Get a life.”

He then posted the exchange to his X account under the caption, “Journalists are insufferable.”

Earlier in the same conversation, asked about recently revealed racist and antisemitic messages from a Florida Young Republicans regional group chat, Fishback replied, “I condemn all forms of hatred.”

The post IHOP denies inviting Florida GOP candidate who said ‘Americans shouldn’t die for Israel’ appeared first on The Forward.

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Iran Names Khamenei’s Hardline Son Mojtaba as New Supreme Leader

FILE PHOTO: Mojtaba Khamenei, the second son of Iran’s late Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, visits Hezbollah’s office in Tehran, Iran, October 1, 2024. Office of the Iranian Supreme Leader/WANA (West Asia News Agency)/Handout via REUTERS/File Photo

Iran on Monday named Mojtaba Khamenei to succeed his father Ali Khamenei as Supreme Leader, signaling that hardliners remain firmly in charge in Tehran a week into its conflict with the United States and Israel.

Mojtaba, a mid-ranking cleric with influence inside Iran’s security forces and vast business networks under his father, had been seen as a frontrunner in the lead up to the vote by the assembly, a body of 88 clerics charged with choosing the new leader after Ali Khamenei.

“By a decisive vote, the Assembly of Experts, appointed Ayatollah Seyyed Mojtaba Hosseini Khamenei as the third Leader of the sacred system of the Islamic Republic of Iran,” the assembly said in a statement issued just after midnight Tehran time.

The position gives Mojtaba the final say in all matters of state in the Islamic Republic.

Mojtaba’s appointment will likely draw the ire of US President Donald Trump, who said on Sunday that Washington should have a say in the selection. “If he doesn’t get approval from us, he’s not going to last long,” he told ABC News. Israel, ahead of the announcement, threatened to target whoever was chosen.

Mojtaba’s father, Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei, was killed in one of the first strikes launched against Iran more than a week ago.

The US military on Sunday reported a seventh American has died from wounds sustained during Iran’s initial counter-attack a week ago, a day after Trump presided over the return to the United States of the remains of the six others who died.

The US-Israeli attacks have killed at least 1,332 Iranian civilians and wounded thousands, according to Iran’s U.N. ambassador.

As Trump pressed for an “unconditional surrender,” Mohammad Bagher Qalibaf, Iran’s parliament speaker, said Tehran was not seeking a ceasefire to the war and would punish aggressors.

Israel continued to target senior Iranian figures, including Abolqasem Babaian, the recently appointed head of the military office of the supreme leader, saying he was killed in a Saturday strike.

BLACK SMOKE HANGS OVER TEHRAN

As fighting escalated on day nine of the US-Israeli campaign against Iran, thick black smoke hung over Tehran on Sunday, residents said, after strikes on oil storage facilities had lit up the night sky with plumes of orange flame.

Iran’s foreign ministry spokesperson Esmaeil Baghaei said the large-scale attack marked a “dangerous new phase” of the conflict and amounted to a war crime.

“By targeting fuel depots, the aggressors are releasing hazardous materials and toxic substances into the air,” he wrote on X.

Israeli military spokesman Lieutenant Colonel Nadav Shoshani told reporters the depots were used to fuel Iran’s war effort, including producing or storing propellant for ballistic missiles. “They are a legal military target,” he said.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said his government would press on with the assault and strike Iran’s rulers “without mercy.”

“We have an organized plan with many surprises to destabilize the regime and enable change,” he said in a video statement.

US special envoy Steve Witkoff and Trump’s son-in-law Jared Kushner will visit Israel on Tuesday, according to Axios, citing a senior US official.

Trump told reporters on Air Force One that he was not seeking negotiations to end the conflict, which has driven up global energy prices, disrupted business and snarled air travel.

“At some point, I don’t think there will be anybody left maybe to say, ‘We surrender,’” he said.

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