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This Jewish couple ended their three-country wedding tour with a colorful Oaxacan ceremony

(JTA) — For the third of their three weddings, Hallie Applebaum and Elan Raffel set up a chuppah in Oaxaca, the Mexican city where they first confessed their love for each other.

Oaxaca is a vibrant hub of Mexican folk art and incredible food, but Jewish life? Not so much. Nonetheless the couple chose there to wed in an egalitarian Jewish ceremony led by the groom’s sister, Libby Smoler, on Feb 26. And when seven family members and friends gave their own interpretations of the seven traditional blessings, one of Applebaum’s sisters wished them a lifetime of adventures and delicious meals.

The wedding came just over three years after the pair met — online, from their parents’ houses early in the pandemic.

Applebaum’s parents weren’t subtle about wading into her dating life after she moved home to Portland, Maine, in early 2020, the only one of their four children to do so. Her father showed her a video about dating apps and her mother asked her for a demonstration.

Applebaum, 35, downloaded Hinge. The next thing she knew, her mother was hooked. “She’s swiping and swiping, and saying, ‘This is fabulous,’” Applebaum recalled, adding with a joke, “I told her, ‘You have to have some standards.’”

In Los Angeles, where Applebaum had been living, she had been focused first on her job as a producer of external communications for the educational technology division of the World Bank, and her all-consuming side project as the founder of Future of Women, which hosts breakfast events around the world and hosts a podcast for women leaders.

But in her childhood home, with no timeline for when life would resume, she decided to dive into dating, drawing on her extensive experiences living and traveling abroad to experiment with what would generate the most promising results.

“I put my location as different places, like Mexico City or London, for the fun of it,” she said. “When we were so isolated, to have contact with people in these places was nice. But, then, I put myself in a more realistic location.”

That location was New York City, where she soon encountered Raffel, an attorney in the tech industry.

Elan Raffel breaks the glass during his wedding ceremony with Hallie Applebaum, in Oaxaca, Mexico, Feb. 26, 2023. (Mónica Godefroy)

The pair matched and soon learned that they had a lot in common. Like Applebaum, Raffel had moved back in with his parents at the start of the pandemic — in his case Pikesville, a heavily Jewish suburb of Baltimore. Both had attended Jewish day schools growing up; both had spent time living abroad (Applebaum in Guatemala, Ecuador and while pursuing a master’s degree at the London School of Economics and Raffel in his mother’s native Israel); and both enjoyed fine food and off-the-beaten-path adventures.

After months of phone calls and probing conversations — some fueled by “The 36 Questions that Lead to Love” as appeared in The New York Times — they decided that Raffel would join Applebaum for a camping trip in Maine’s Acadia National Park.

“We had an out,” Raffel recalled. “If either of us had a terrible experience, we could back out.”

That wasn’t needed. Instead, they extended their time together — after kicking it off with an unplanned first meeting for Raffel with Applebaum’s parents when she forgot a cooler of food at their house.

“We joke that our first date was two weeks long,” said Raffel.

Soon after, Applebaum met Raffel’s family for Rosh Hashanah dinner. Then, Raffel rented a home in Los Angeles after Applebaum returned there.

With remote work the norm, and a few months dating now behind them, they began considering living and working elsewhere. They decided on Mexico, spending one month in Merida and one month in Oaxaca.

With its vibrant food scene and colorful arts and culture, the couple both fell in love with Oaxaca, and with each other. It was there that they first said, “I love you.”

Hallie Applebaum and Elan Raffel pose with dancers who joined their public wedding procession in Oaxaca. (Mónica Godefroy)

They returned to Mexico in the summer of 2022 while their new condo in Santa Monica was undergoing renovations; it was there that they became engaged. They now regularly host Shabbat dinners in their L.A. home through the nonprofit OneTable.

The first of their three wedding ceremonies took place on Sept. 30, 2022, when they were legally married at the Los Angeles County Courthouse.

The next event took place in Israel, where Raffel’s mother had long hoped that one of her three children would marry. He was her last hope, so the couple said yes to what they thought would be a small wedding there planned by her.

But Shuli Raffel’s plans grew larger and larger, until finally, Applebaum’s parents decided to come and her London-based sister, too. Rabbi Shira Levine of Kibbutz Hanaton, rooted in the Conservative movement of Judaism, officiated a religious ceremony on Oct. 14 at Bistro de Carmel in Zichron Ya’akov with 90 guests present.

Hallie Applebaum and Elan Raffel held one wedding ceremony in Israel, where Raffel’s mother is from. (Taylor Applebaum)

Levine had guided the couple via video calls in writing their own text for the Jewish wedding contract, the ketubah.

“We spoke to the rabbi about ​our relationship, our household, and how do we make this concrete and what traditional things do we want to modify and make more egalitarian,” Applebaum said, adding, “Since I do a lot of work in women’s empowerment, it was important to me to have a woman rabbi.”

Then, over Thanksgiving weekend, the couple held an Israeli brunch in Philadelphia, attended by their grandmothers — Applebaum’s is 102 — who would not be traveling to Mexico. From there, they flew directly to Oaxaca for a menu tasting, where, because Applebaum is vegetarian, it fell to Raffel to try all the fish and meat options they might offer their guests.

The couple returned to Oaxaca for the main affair — a multi-day event that included a day-long tour to a facility where mezcal, a Oaxacan spirit, is made; visits to craftspeople; and two nights of dinners.

On Feb. 26, they had their third and final wedding in front of 72 guests at Cardenal Oaxaca, an events venue. Spicy pineapple mezcal cocktails kicked off the celebration, and a festive meal that won accolades even from foodie guests followed the ceremony.

At their Oaxaca wedding, Hallie Applebaum and Elan Raffel served guests a native corn milk epazote sponge cake with lime cream. (Hallie Applebaum)

“It was amazing,” said Ori Zohar, a guest who is also the co-founder of spice company Burlap & Barrel. “The wedding meal was a procession of Mexican and Oaxacan specialties with an international twist. Beets were grilled and paired with pumpkin seeds and pickled mustard seeds. Duck enchiladas came slathered in a black mole sauce and aged cheese. The main dishes were shared plates, so each guest got to try a little of everything before going back and polishing off the rest of their favorite.”

In one highlight of the day, the couple partook in a local custom where tall likenesses of the couple are made out of paper maché and carried, and people toast the bride and groom. It was, Applebaum said, a perfect way to show off a beloved place to their friends and family.

“Our guests went from this beautiful ceremony that his sister put together,” she said, “to being immersed in this celebration in the streets.”

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The post This Jewish couple ended their three-country wedding tour with a colorful Oaxacan ceremony appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.

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For ill and for good, this ‘Wicked’ song has become ubiquitous

In the final minutes of the second act of the Broadway musical Wicked, Glinda and Elphaba sing together one last time. They have reached their ultimate, iconic forms: Glinda is the Good Witch, ringletted and resplendent. Elphaba is the Wicked Witch of the West, caped and glittering. They suspect they will never see each other again. And so the two women sing a duet that is part yearbook note, part deathbed confession.

“Because I knew you,” Glinda sings, “I have been changed for good.”

Jenna and her husband watched from their orchestra seats. It was 2005, Wicked was the toast of Broadway, and the tickets were a splurge. When the actress playing Elphaba sang, “It well may be that we will never meet again in this lifetime, so let me say before we part: so much of me is made of what I learned from you. You’ll be with me, like a handprint on my heart,” Jenna’s eyes filled with tears. Her husband reached over and took her hand.

Four months later, they separated. On her birthday that year, Jenna’s ex-husband sent her a card. “Because I knew you,” he wrote, “I have been changed for good.”

“I love the double meaning of that,” said Jenna, now 57 and a volunteer manager at a nonprofit in Maryland. “I have been changed to be a better person, but I have also been changed permanently, for good. There’s no going back.”

The second life of ‘For Good’

Amidst cheers and ballyhoo — to borrow a phrase from Glinda — a second Wicked movie is now hitting theaters. To mark the distinction between this movie and its predecessor, the 2025 edition is called Wicked: For Good.

“For Good,” the song, has attained an unusual second life outside of the musical. In Wicked, Jewish composer-lyricist Stephen Schwartz launched a number of forever entries into the musical theater book of standards — “Defying Gravity,” “Popular,” “The Wizard and I” — but “For Good” belongs to an exclusive category: songs that have become staples at graduations, retirement celebrations and funerals. If you see a cap and gown, you are not safe from a heartfelt rendition of “For Good.” If there is a casket on a table, these days you may be as likely to hear “For Good” as you are to hear “Wind Beneath My Wings” or “Candle in the Wind.”

“As a cantor, it’s impossible to hear ‘For Good’ from Wicked without sensing that the song is doing something deeply Jewish, whether or not its creators intended it,” said Neil Michaels of Temple Israel in West Bloomfield, Michigan. “It has become, in many sanctuaries and life-cycle moments, a kind of contemporary niggun, carrying emotional truth where spoken liturgy might fall short.”

“I’ve played it for a funeral,” said Joe Wicht, who has accompanied singers for 18 years at the San Francisco piano bar Martuni’s. “I’ve played it for singers at wedding receptions, too.” But most often, he said, the song is sung “by two best friends.” Duos who request “For Good” are often about to be separated by a move, or redefined by one person getting married, he said. Sometimes, the singers are a parent and a child.

“This isn’t the kind of song where people just willy-nilly decide to sing it in a bar, a la karaoke,” he said. “It’s always sung with intent.”

“It’s always the same scenario — best friends,” he added. “I’ve never heard this song performed between two people in love.”

An anthem of friendship for this generation

Few songs aim to articulate the way that two people can alter each other’s lives and edit each other’s characters, sans romantic love. Schwartz has said in interviews that he wrote the song after sitting down with his daughter and asking her about her best friend. “If you could never see Sarah again and you had one chance to tell her what she’s meant to you,” he asked, “what would you say?”

The song, which lifts some of Schwartz’s daughter’s words directly, literalizes the way two people can blend without losing their own specificity. It begins with a solo for each woman, then they sing in counterpoint, then harmony. “For Good” is sometimes derided as schmaltzy and overearnest. But its impact is indelible: it is a song people rely on to express a kind of love that often goes unsung.

“For those of us who have lost someone,” wrote vocal coach and therapist Petra Borzynski in a recent essay, ‘For Good’ is “the song that speaks the unspeakable: that the person who is gone still lives in every choice we make, every kindness we extend, every moment we choose differently because they existed (for better, for worse).”

Borzynski sang the song for years. Then her mother died, at 59, of ovarian cancer. When Borzynski attempted to sing the song, she recalled, “my voice literally broke.”

When 75-year-old Melbourne resident Des Flannery was in his late 60s, he got into a fight with his best friend, Max. They made up when Des sent Max a written apology, Des’ daughter, Breanna, told me. In his note, Des quoted the opening lyrics from “For Good.” When Max died several years later, Des eulogized him, reciting the lyrics that had helped bring him and his friend back together.

“He wasn’t confident he could get through it without becoming a wailing mess,” his daughter, Breanna Flannery, said. “So reading it seemed the best way to get it out.” (Afterwards, women mourners crowded around Des to praise his bold, emotional writing, unaware that he had been quoting Wicked.)

Drew Wutke, a pianist at Marie’s Crisis, the famed Broadway musical singalong bar in the West Village, is used to looking up from the piano during “For Good” and seeing drinkers crying into their tequila sodas.

“It is the friendship anthem of the last 25 years,” he said.

“I don’t know another way to say it other than: it is a heaven-blessed song,” he said. “The hope that soul-friendship exists, that chosen family exists — those are the wires that get tripped when that introduction starts,” he said, humming the song’s opening notes. “Even though it is lyrically nonsensical at times.” One lyric often maligned even by fans is, “Like a seed dropped by a sky bird, in a distant wood.”

“A skybird! Please!” said Wutke. “We could have workshopped that lyric.”

I’ve heard it said…but what does it mean?

As with the rest of the musical, the universality of “For Good” is both a strength and weakness. Wicked is a musical about a woman who faces cruelty and discrimination because of her skin color. It has been called a parable about fascism, and an allegory for racism and ableism. But no Black actress played Elphaba full-time on Broadway for the musical’s first 22 years. And though one character in Wicked uses a wheelchair, the first time a wheelchair user ever played Nessarose was in last year’s movie.

Though the Wicked movies have been released during a time of rising authoritarianism, the movie’s stars and creators have limited themselves to comments like the joint statement Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande made recently, which spoke of  “times like these that feel so divided, as if we’re reading from different pages and different books.”

Though the song is deeply meaningful to listeners, the meaning those listeners derive is not consistent. “At its core, ‘For Good’ is about hineni — ‘here I am’: standing fully present in relationship,” said the cantor, Michaels. “It is the musical embodiment of the Jewish belief that who we become is inextricably shaped by the people who walk beside us.” The song, he argued, “echoes the teaching that every person you encounter teaches you something, that chevruta (sacred partnership) shapes the soul, and that human connection is one of Judaism’s most powerful agents of transformation.”

No one religion or perspective has a monopoly on interpreting Schwartz’s message. Ali, a friend of mine, and a 31-year-old interior designer from Los Angeles, grew up singing songs from Wicked with her friend Brittany. “She would always be Elphaba and I would always be Glinda, even though I secretly wanted to sing the Elphaba part,” Ali said.

Ali was active in the Catholic church, and the girls were often asked to perform at fundraisers and other events. They reserved “For Good” for the finale. “It’s about connection and sisterhood, and friendship,” Ali said. “It was a tearjerker.”

As 14 year olds, the two girls were summoned to perform in a hotel ballroom for a group of about “200 nuns and other women,” Ali remembered.  After the song, the nuns thanked them profusely for lending their voices to their cause. The two girls exited the stage to wild applause, then sat down to eat lunch and when they looked back up, “they were literally showing fetuses on the screen and just spewing anti-abortion rhetoric,” Ali remembered. The shift was shocking, she said. “From sisterhood and friendship to hating other women for having abortions.”

Changed for good? Or just good at singing?

“For Good” is usually performed in the context of honoring another person. No matter how tragic or poignant an event is, though, for a theater kid it’s also an opportunity to perform “For Good.” If that sounds cynical, it comes from personal experience: Your author performed the Elphaba part at her high school graduation. I knew that it was my job to move the audience to tears, but my thoughts were largely about how to achieve vocal clarity and resonance. Also, my ankle was broken, and my secular high school had rented out a synagogue for graduation, so I sang the song on the steps of the bima, mindful of the fact that my cast was wider than the steps and if I gestured emotionally during the “like a comet pulled from orbit” harmony I could roll forward and crash to the ground.

But Victoria, 21, who sang the song just a few years ago at her high school graduation in Port Richey, Florida, begs to differ. “I think that vocally, it is not an extremely challenging song,” she said. The real challenge, she said, is allowing yourself to feel the meaning of the song, and conveying that depth of feeling to the audience. ​​“I couldn’t help but really internalize the lyrics I was singing,” she said.

“I was reflecting on all of the relationships I had made with my fellow students, as well as my teachers,” Victoria said. “And I knew then that they had changed and helped create the person I am today, because I knew them.” Among masses who will see Wicked: For Good in the coming weeks, there will be many who weep throughout the title song, and many who call the song saccharine and sentimental. The second group is missing the point. “For Good” is meant to be saccharine. It takes on the most cringe-inducing, embarrassing topic in the world: human connection. If you love it, it probably came into your life for a reason.

The post For ill and for good, this ‘Wicked’ song has become ubiquitous appeared first on The Forward.

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Eurovision Song Contest Changes Public Voting Rules After Israel Scandal: ‘We’ve Listened and We’ve Acted’

Yuval Raphael from Israel with the title “New Day Will Rise” on stage at the second semi-final of the 69th Eurovision Song Contest in the Arena St. Jakobshalle. Photo: Jens Büttner/dpa via Reuters Connect

The European Broadcasting Union (EBU), which organizes the Eurovision Song Contest, is enforcing new rules regarding its public voting ahead of the 2026 Eurovision in Vienna, Austria, following questions about Israel’s success in the competition this year, it announced on Friday.

In the 2025 Eurovision, held in Switzerland in May, Israel’s representative Yuval Raphael won first place in the public vote with her song “New Day Will Rise” and placed second overall in the competition, behind Austria, when the jury scores were counted. A number of countries — including national broadcasters in Spain, Belgium, Ireland, and the Netherlands — claimed the public vote was rigged in favor of Israel and asked for an audit. Eurovision Director Martin Green defended the results, saying at the time that the votes were “checked and verified,” and there was “no suspicion of bias or irregularities” in the voting process.

The EBU said on Friday it is now implementing new measures regarding its voting that are “designed to strengthen trust, transparency, and audience engagement.”

“We’ve listened and we’ve acted,” Green said on Friday. “The neutrality and integrity of the Eurovision Song Contest is of paramount importance to the EBU, its members, and all our audiences. It is essential that the fairness of the contest is always protected. We are taking clear and decisive steps to ensure the contest remains a celebration of music and unity. The contest should remain a neutral space and must not be instrumentalized.”

Fans will now be able to only cast 10 votes each — a decrease from 20 — via online, text, and phone call. Juries of music experts will also return for the semifinals for the first time since 2022, forming a 50-50 split vote between jury and audience votes at the grand final of the competition.

The number of jurors is increased from five to seven and there will be a greater range in their professional backgrounds. Jurors will now include music journalists and critics, music teachers, creative professionals, such as choreographers and stage directors, and experienced music industry figures. Each jury will now include at least two jurors aged 18-25, “to reflect the appeal of the contest with younger audiences.” All jurors will also be forced to sign a formal declaration confirming that they will vote independently and impartially; not coordinate with other jurors before the contest; and “be mindful of their social media use,” for example by not sharing their preferences online before the contest ends.

One of the jurors of the 2024 Eurovision Song Contest admitted that he refused to allocate points to Israeli singer Eden Golan because of his personal bias against Israel.

The EBU’s updates rules also “discourage disproportionate promotion campaigns” by third parties, including governments or governmental agencies. The EBU is barring its participating broadcasters and artists from “actively” engaging in, facilitating, or contributing to promotional campaigns by third parties “that could influence the voting outcome and, as outlined in the updated Code of Conduct, any attempts to unduly influence the results will lead to sanctions.” The EBU will strengthen its enforcement of its voting instructions and Code of Conduct to prevent “attempts to unfairly influence the vote.”

“These measures are designed to keep the focus where it belongs — on music, creativity, and connection,” said Green. “While we are confident the 2025 contest delivered a valid and robust result, these changes will help provide stronger safeguards and increase engagement so fans can be sure that every vote counts and every voice is heard. The Eurovision Song Contest must always remain a place where music takes center stage — and where we continue to stand truly United by Music.”

The EBU said the changes to the voting system were decided upon following an “extensive consultation exercise” with EBU members after the controversy surrounding Israel in the 2025 Eurovision. The EBU will also be strengthening its enforcement of existing rules “to prevent any misuse of the contest for example through song lyrics or staging.”

In the 2024 Eurovision Song Contest, Golan finished in fifth place with a modified song titled “Hurricane.” The original version was titled “October Rain” and included lyrics that referenced the deadly Hamas-led terrorist attacks on Oct. 7, 2023, in southern Israel. However, it was disqualified by EBU for breaking its rules on political neutrality. Israel was forced to change the song’s title and lyrics.

Several countries have called for Israel to be banned from the 2026 Eurovision competition because of its military actions in the Gaza Strip during the country’s war against Hamas terrorists following the Oct. 7 massacre. Some nations have threatened to pull out of next year’s competition if Israel participates, including Spain, The Netherlands, Slovenia, Iceland, and Ireland.

The grand final of the 2026 Eurovision Song Contest will take place May 16, with the semifinals airing on May 12 and 14.

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Half of Britons Say UK Unsafe for Jews as Gov’t Hardens Anti-Israel Line

Demonstrators against antisemitism in London on Sept. 8, 2025. Photo: Campaign Against Antisemitism

Nearly half of British people now consider the country unsafe for Jewish communities, as the government maintains a strong anti-Israel stance over the Gaza war, seeking to undermine the Jewish state despite a US-brokered ceasefire that has held for over a month.

On Thursday, the London-based think tank More in Common released a study showing that six in 10 people worry about a rise in antisemitism, as British Jews continue to face an increasingly hostile environment and targeted attacks since the outbreak of the Israel-Hamas war in late 2023.

The report also found that 45 percent of people consider the UK an unsafe place for Jews, especially after the Yom Kippur terrorist attack in Manchester, which left two Jewish men dead, and incidents leading up to and during the Maccabi Tel Aviv soccer game in Britain last month. Meanwhile, 44 percent still believe the country is safe for Jewish communities.

By comparison, 37 percent of the population believe the country is unsafe for Muslims, while nearly a quarter feel personally at risk.

According to the newly released study, the British population is deeply polarized over the war in Gaza and its impact on society, with right-leaning individuals “much more likely to be concerned about antisemitism than Islamophobia,” and left-leaning groups “relatively more concerned about Islamophobia than antisemitism.”

Across the country, public patience for both anti- and pro-Israel protests is fading, with two-thirds of respondents saying the most disruptive demonstrations should be banned.

Amid growing hatred and hostility, the report also found that Jewish people are altering their behavior and avoiding religious symbols in order to feel safe.

“Many British Jews have felt targeted by other Britons for their beliefs about Israel, or for what other people assume are their beliefs, or simply for being Jewish,” the study says.

“While many Britons don’t personally know any Jews closely, the rise in antisemitism has become a top concern for the British public more widely,” it continues.

The Community Security Trust (CST) — a nonprofit charity that advises Britain’s Jewish community on security matters — recorded 1,521 antisemitic incidents from January to June this year. This was the second-highest number of antisemitic crimes ever recorded by CST in the first six months of any year, following 2,019 incidents in the first half of 2024.

In total last year, CST recorded 3,528 anti-Jewish hate crimes — the country’s second worst year for antisemitism, despite an 18 percent drop from 2023’s record of 4,296.

These latest figures come amid the British government’s ongoing campaign against Israel, which has only escalated since the Hamas-led invasion of and massacre across southern Israel on Oct. 7, 2023. 

In one of its latest efforts, UK officials are reportedly considering imposing a ban on the import of goods from Israeli communities in the West Bank, according to the Middle East Eye news outlet.

This week, the country’s armed forces refused to attend a major international conference in Israel aimed at sharing military insights from the Gaza war, according to The Telegraph.

Hosted south of Tel Aviv, the multi-day seminar drew high-ranking military officials from several countries, including the United States, France, Germany, and Canada.

Since the start of the war in Gaza, British Prime Minister Keir Starmer has been publicly critical of Israel, even falsely accusing it of genocide and leading international campaigns in various forums aimed at halting the country’s defensive campaign against the Palestinian terrorist group Hamas.

In September, the British government — along with other Western countries such as France, Australia, and Canada — recognized a Palestinian state at the UN General Assembly, a move Israeli and US officials have criticized as rewarding terrorism.

Then this week, the UK voted for a UN Security Council resolution backing the US-backed Gaza peace plan, which notably acknowledges that no such state exits but rather “calls for a credible pathway to Palestinian self-determination and statehood” once “the [Palestinian Authority] reform program is faithfully carried out and Gaza redevelopment has advanced.”

London has not clarified the apparent contradiction between its September announcement and its vote this week regarding Palestinian statehood.

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