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This Jewish couple ended their three-country wedding tour with a colorful Oaxacan ceremony

(JTA) — For the third of their three weddings, Hallie Applebaum and Elan Raffel set up a chuppah in Oaxaca, the Mexican city where they first confessed their love for each other.

Oaxaca is a vibrant hub of Mexican folk art and incredible food, but Jewish life? Not so much. Nonetheless the couple chose there to wed in an egalitarian Jewish ceremony led by the groom’s sister, Libby Smoler, on Feb 26. And when seven family members and friends gave their own interpretations of the seven traditional blessings, one of Applebaum’s sisters wished them a lifetime of adventures and delicious meals.

The wedding came just over three years after the pair met — online, from their parents’ houses early in the pandemic.

Applebaum’s parents weren’t subtle about wading into her dating life after she moved home to Portland, Maine, in early 2020, the only one of their four children to do so. Her father showed her a video about dating apps and her mother asked her for a demonstration.

Applebaum, 35, downloaded Hinge. The next thing she knew, her mother was hooked. “She’s swiping and swiping, and saying, ‘This is fabulous,’” Applebaum recalled, adding with a joke, “I told her, ‘You have to have some standards.’”

In Los Angeles, where Applebaum had been living, she had been focused first on her job as a producer of external communications for the educational technology division of the World Bank, and her all-consuming side project as the founder of Future of Women, which hosts breakfast events around the world and hosts a podcast for women leaders.

But in her childhood home, with no timeline for when life would resume, she decided to dive into dating, drawing on her extensive experiences living and traveling abroad to experiment with what would generate the most promising results.

“I put my location as different places, like Mexico City or London, for the fun of it,” she said. “When we were so isolated, to have contact with people in these places was nice. But, then, I put myself in a more realistic location.”

That location was New York City, where she soon encountered Raffel, an attorney in the tech industry.

Elan Raffel breaks the glass during his wedding ceremony with Hallie Applebaum, in Oaxaca, Mexico, Feb. 26, 2023. (Mónica Godefroy)

The pair matched and soon learned that they had a lot in common. Like Applebaum, Raffel had moved back in with his parents at the start of the pandemic — in his case Pikesville, a heavily Jewish suburb of Baltimore. Both had attended Jewish day schools growing up; both had spent time living abroad (Applebaum in Guatemala, Ecuador and while pursuing a master’s degree at the London School of Economics and Raffel in his mother’s native Israel); and both enjoyed fine food and off-the-beaten-path adventures.

After months of phone calls and probing conversations — some fueled by “The 36 Questions that Lead to Love” as appeared in The New York Times — they decided that Raffel would join Applebaum for a camping trip in Maine’s Acadia National Park.

“We had an out,” Raffel recalled. “If either of us had a terrible experience, we could back out.”

That wasn’t needed. Instead, they extended their time together — after kicking it off with an unplanned first meeting for Raffel with Applebaum’s parents when she forgot a cooler of food at their house.

“We joke that our first date was two weeks long,” said Raffel.

Soon after, Applebaum met Raffel’s family for Rosh Hashanah dinner. Then, Raffel rented a home in Los Angeles after Applebaum returned there.

With remote work the norm, and a few months dating now behind them, they began considering living and working elsewhere. They decided on Mexico, spending one month in Merida and one month in Oaxaca.

With its vibrant food scene and colorful arts and culture, the couple both fell in love with Oaxaca, and with each other. It was there that they first said, “I love you.”

Hallie Applebaum and Elan Raffel pose with dancers who joined their public wedding procession in Oaxaca. (Mónica Godefroy)

They returned to Mexico in the summer of 2022 while their new condo in Santa Monica was undergoing renovations; it was there that they became engaged. They now regularly host Shabbat dinners in their L.A. home through the nonprofit OneTable.

The first of their three wedding ceremonies took place on Sept. 30, 2022, when they were legally married at the Los Angeles County Courthouse.

The next event took place in Israel, where Raffel’s mother had long hoped that one of her three children would marry. He was her last hope, so the couple said yes to what they thought would be a small wedding there planned by her.

But Shuli Raffel’s plans grew larger and larger, until finally, Applebaum’s parents decided to come and her London-based sister, too. Rabbi Shira Levine of Kibbutz Hanaton, rooted in the Conservative movement of Judaism, officiated a religious ceremony on Oct. 14 at Bistro de Carmel in Zichron Ya’akov with 90 guests present.

Hallie Applebaum and Elan Raffel held one wedding ceremony in Israel, where Raffel’s mother is from. (Taylor Applebaum)

Levine had guided the couple via video calls in writing their own text for the Jewish wedding contract, the ketubah.

“We spoke to the rabbi about ​our relationship, our household, and how do we make this concrete and what traditional things do we want to modify and make more egalitarian,” Applebaum said, adding, “Since I do a lot of work in women’s empowerment, it was important to me to have a woman rabbi.”

Then, over Thanksgiving weekend, the couple held an Israeli brunch in Philadelphia, attended by their grandmothers — Applebaum’s is 102 — who would not be traveling to Mexico. From there, they flew directly to Oaxaca for a menu tasting, where, because Applebaum is vegetarian, it fell to Raffel to try all the fish and meat options they might offer their guests.

The couple returned to Oaxaca for the main affair — a multi-day event that included a day-long tour to a facility where mezcal, a Oaxacan spirit, is made; visits to craftspeople; and two nights of dinners.

On Feb. 26, they had their third and final wedding in front of 72 guests at Cardenal Oaxaca, an events venue. Spicy pineapple mezcal cocktails kicked off the celebration, and a festive meal that won accolades even from foodie guests followed the ceremony.

At their Oaxaca wedding, Hallie Applebaum and Elan Raffel served guests a native corn milk epazote sponge cake with lime cream. (Hallie Applebaum)

“It was amazing,” said Ori Zohar, a guest who is also the co-founder of spice company Burlap & Barrel. “The wedding meal was a procession of Mexican and Oaxacan specialties with an international twist. Beets were grilled and paired with pumpkin seeds and pickled mustard seeds. Duck enchiladas came slathered in a black mole sauce and aged cheese. The main dishes were shared plates, so each guest got to try a little of everything before going back and polishing off the rest of their favorite.”

In one highlight of the day, the couple partook in a local custom where tall likenesses of the couple are made out of paper maché and carried, and people toast the bride and groom. It was, Applebaum said, a perfect way to show off a beloved place to their friends and family.

“Our guests went from this beautiful ceremony that his sister put together,” she said, “to being immersed in this celebration in the streets.”

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The post This Jewish couple ended their three-country wedding tour with a colorful Oaxacan ceremony appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.

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Atlanta Jewish Film Festival apologizes for selecting anti-Zionist juror

(JTA) — The Atlanta Jewish Film Festival apologized and announced it would review its internal processes after the Israeli consulate withdrew its support over an anti-Zionist juror.

The Israeli Consulate in the Southeastern United States withdrew its support for the annual festival Friday after learning one of the student jurors in the human rights category “shared antisemitic and anti-Israel content,” the consulate said in a statement.

The film festival Friday acknowledged the consulate’s decision on Friday and issued an apology on Sunday, saying that it “fell short” in assessing jurors.

“Recent conversations within the Jewish community have made clear that the Atlanta Jewish Film Festival fell short in our internal processes regarding the recent jury matter,” the festival said in its Sunday night statement. “This situation has surfaced clear deficiencies, gaps, and adherence issues in our existing organizational processes and policies, including those related to antisemitism, BDS (Boycott, Divestment, Sanctions), and cultural boycotts.”

But the festival said that because the juror selection process had already been finalized, the juror at issue could not be removed ahead of the festival, which runs through March 15.

Neither the festival nor the Israeli consulate named the juror, but local media reporting identified him as Anwar Karim, a film student at Morehouse College and a Spike Lee Fellow at the Gersh Agency.

Karim’s social media presence and film portfolio include discussion of the war in Gaza. In one video, a political poem titled “Devil’s Work,” Karim raps over news clips and social media videos from Gaza, sometimes preceded by parallel images from the Holocaust. In the same video, he draws in other social justice issues like cobalt mining in Congo and the war on drugs. Images in the video include a photo of the Starbucks logo with bloody Israeli flag stickers a shrinking Palestine map, and archival clips of prominent Black and anti-Zionist intellectuals like Angela Davis and Stokely Carmichael.

“As a Jewish film festival, we have a responsibility, particularly at this fraught time, to stand firmly against antisemitism and to affirm the Jewish people’s right to self-determination,” the Atlanta Jewish Film Festival said in its Sunday statement.

Karim did not respond to a request for comment.

Consul General Eitan Weiss told Southern Jewish Life that when the consulate saw Karim wearing a green keffiyeh in his festival program photo, they were surprised, did some research on the juror, and gave the festival some time to address the issue before deciding whether to withdraw its support.

Then, in a statement issued on Feb. 20, the festival said it had “concluded that the student could participate appropriately within the structure of our deliberations.” The consulate announced its withdrawal the same day.

Six documentaries are up for the human rights prize, including profiles of Raoul Wallenberg and Henrietta Szold, a chronicle of a sex abuse scandal in an Australian Orthodox community and the history of a Jew who successfully took on Henry Ford’s antisemitism. Two films deal directly with Israel: One tackles abortion there, while the other examines UNRWA, the United Nations agency supporting Palestinian refugees that Israel says has undermined efforts at peace.

The other two jurors in the human rights category are the executive director of an organization that promotes LGBTQ stories in film and a senior director at the Carter Center, the human rights institute founded by President Jimmy Carter.

Since Oct. 7, festivals have become a battleground for activism in the Israel-Gaza war, becoming a point of contention among jurors, panelists, and contestants. In 2024, an Albany book festival canceled a panel with a Jewish author after two of her co-moderators refused to share the stage with her because of her “Zionist” beliefs. In January, Australia’s Adelaide Book Festival collapsed entirely after nearly 200 writers said they would boycott the program when a Palestinian-Australian author who justified “armed struggle” was disinvited from the festival. And this month, the Berlinale film festival was embroiled in tensions after its jury president, the director Wim Wenders, responded to a question about Gaza by rebuffing calls to criticize Israel.

The post Atlanta Jewish Film Festival apologizes for selecting anti-Zionist juror appeared first on The Forward.

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How a new generation of comics is changing the face of Jewish comedy — and Judaism itself

Jewish comedy is, of course, a long and vaunted tradition: Joan Rivers, Mel Brooks, Woody Allen, Lenny Bruce, Larry David.

No one had to tell audiences that they were Jewish. Sure, there was Jewish content to some of their jokes — Bruce’s most famous bit is about the difference between Jews and non-Jews. But the literal mention of Judaism wasn’t what made their comedy feel so Jewish. It was their affect, their posture, their accents, their discussion of psychoanalysis or overbearing mothers. The self-deprecating, dry, kvetching tone. The test for whether comedy was Jewish was like the test for obscenity: You know it when you see it.

Today, though, everyone is in therapy. Everyone is anxious. Everyone can poke fun at their crazy families. Everyone — or plenty of people, at least — uses at least a few Yiddishisms. Schlep, klutz and mensch are hardly limited to members of the tribe.

Maybe that’s why a new crop of Jewish comics, many of whom have made their name posting their sets and crowdwork clips to YouTube, are so explicit about exactly what kind of comedy they’re doing.

Raanan Herschberg’s sharp new special is called Morbidly Jewish. Ariel Elias titles her YouTube special “A Jewish Star.” Josh Edelman’s latest act is “The Jew Rogaine Show.” “I’m Jewish btw lol,” reads the caption of a viral clip comedian Lucas Zelnick posted, talking about the names of various Jewish day schools. Gianmarco Soresi, an Italian Jew who talks about his Judaism in many of his viral clips, captions them with the hashtag #Jewish.

What it means to be Jewish in the U.S. has changed since the early days of Jewish comics on the Borscht Belt. We’ve assimilated, spread out across the country and the accent is fading away.  You have to tell people you’re Jewish for them to know, most of the time. So, many Jewish comics are doing exactly that.

But beyond the label, what makes their comedy Jewish? For some, it seems like stolen valor, a way of claiming membership in a lauded tradition of comics, when mostly they’re just rehashing old jokes.

Josh Edelman — no relationship to Alex Edelman — spends much of The Jew Rogaine Show riffing about how, for example, his mother would brag about how many people he shot if he were a school shooter. “Thus concludeth the Jewish portion,” he says abruptly halfway through his set, as though Jewish comedy is limited to jokes that literally mention Jews, a switch that can be turned on and off.

But the best of the new, online Jewish comics, however, are birthing a new type of comedy — and with it, a new vision of Jewishness.

A Jewish comedy, divided

There are many comics who include some amount of Jewish comedy in their sets. In Sarah Squirm: Live + in the Flesh, though largely focused on gross-out comedy about bodily fluids, S.N.L. star Sarah Sherman also jokes about Ashkenazi digestion and having a Jewish president. Iliza Shlesinger mostly jokes about being a millennial woman, but also talks about her encounters with Christians as a Jew in Texas.

But there’s a range of comics who lean much more into their Judaism these days, making it central to their comedy, and labeling it Jewish. And among them, there seem to be two genres: comedy explaining Jewishness to non-Jews, and comedy that affirms Jews’ Jewishness.

Raanan Herschberg’s newest special, Morbidly Jewish, is in the first category. Herschberg takes on rising antisemitism with surprising nuance for a set that also includes jokes about masturbation.

In fact, that bit is one of the most complex, in which Herschberg tries to find a porn star to watch whose politics align perfectly with his — after Oct. 7, he said he stopped watching Mia Khalifa, a Lebanese porn star because she wrote a tweet celebrating the deaths of civilians. But an Israeli performer he turned to instead didn’t believe Palestinians deserved a homeland, which he also found distasteful.

“How could I, in good conscience, continue masturbating to this woman?” he says. “I started looking for a pornstar with, you know, a more nuanced view of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.”

It’s a brilliant bit, skewering the idea — an increasingly common one post-Oct. 7 — that there is political purity to be had at all times, in all moments of consumption, even the most base ones. It allows audiences a window into the internal battle of a certain cadre of progressive American Jews attempting to parse the post-Oct. 7 landscape. And, yet, the bit is not remotely preachy; it’s mostly a raunchy, funny joke.

Herschberg’s comedy is quite Jewish in content, sure, but it also has the je ne sais quoi feel of old-school Jewish comedy — the self-deprecation, dry wit and, not for nothing, some creative riffs about his mom — with an ability to bring audiences into the experiences of Jews, whether political purity tests or trying to decide what really counts as antisemitism.

Modi Rosenfeld, a gay Orthodox Jew, is firmly in the other category: Jewish jokes, by Jews and for Jews. In his special, Know Your Audience, he spends much of the time joking about intra-communal things, like the difference between prayer styles at Ashkenazi and Sephardic synagogues. He does explain, and act out, some of these jokes, but they aren’t all that funny if you don’t have the lived experience of, say, sitting through the speed-mumbling that defines so many Orthodox Ashkenazi services, or the lengthy warbling flourishes of Sephardic davening.

So much of the Jewish comedy of yore was pivotal in helping Jews assimilate further into American society. “See, look at us,” it said. “We’re funny and approachable.” Jewish comics became American stars. But Rosenfeld is not shooting for assimilation; he is helping fortify the in-group.

When Rosenfeld asks, at one point, if anyone in the audience is not Jewish, only a few hands go up. And he makes it clear his set is not for them, albeit in a jovial tone: “I don’t know how you got in here,” he says, laughing.

Innovation in Jewish comedy

Then there are Jewish comedians who, while being deeply Jewish, are doing something else altogether. Their comedy feels deeply Jewish, while spending little time talking about it. And, in the style of the previous generation of Jewish comics, they’re also inventing a totally new style.

Adam Friedland gained fame as one of a trio of men who hosted Cum Town, the nihilistic cult podcast of the so-called dirtbag left, and now sometimes does stand-up about his parents, Oct. 7 and Israel. But his real comedic innovation is his shockingly popular YouTube channel, where he interviews politicians and celebrities, ribbing them while also eliciting real revelations. He has interviewed such guests as Zohran Mamdani, Ritchie Torres, Mia Khalifa — yes, that’s the same Lebanese porn star Herschberg joked about — and extremist looksmaxxing streamer Clavicular.

In each interview, Friedland makes himself into a kind of clumsy fall guy who asks such bizarre questions that guests are often stunned into surprising revelations. But then he will pivot into such heartfelt earnestness that it’s disarming. In the episode with Torres, after a contentious exchange over Israel, Friedland turned surprisingly personal in tone, describing the year he spent living in Israel and his family’s connections to Judaism.

“Me saying this to you right now will hurt people in my family,” he says, his voice cracking. “The world is seeing something that is terrible. And it’s being done in my name.”

For all Friedland’s deadpan awkwardness (“Have you seen a movie?” he asks musician and actress FKA Twigs, who responds, in confusion, “A movie? In my life?”) it is clear that he is, in fact, very smart and prepared for his interviews. He emerges as the master in every exchange, despite — or because of — his performance of clumsiness. It makes for a darkly subversive show, each episode poking such sly fun at his guests that they only sometimes notice and even less often know how to roll with any given riff. And it’s catchy enough that Friedland has become a kind of figurehead of a new paradigm in content; in the past year, he has been profiled by GQ, and covered in the pages of The New York Times and The New Yorker.

In a way, Friedland fits into a model outlined by Nathan Fielder, whose quasi-reality show, The Rehearsal, blurs the line between performance and reality, joking and earnestness, into something that is simultaneously funny and deeply unsettling. Even Alex Edelman, whose biographical comedy special Just For Us tells the story of his decision to attend a white supremacist meeting in Queens, toes a strange line of ambivalence over just how bad these racists are; he finds himself hoping they’ll like him.

The throughline here of this comedy is a destabilizing ambiguity. The situations can be funny in their absurdity, but they’re undergirded by a deep discomfort because they force the viewers, squirming, to ponder whether the joke or scenario posed by the comedian is, in fact, so outlandish and funny or if it’s actually completely earnest.

This form of comedy manages to touch upon truths that are hard to address directly, ones that are well-suited to our increasingly nihilistic, red-pilled society where earnestness is so often perceived as cringe.

It relies on comedians playing the role of an awkward outsider — willing to be weird or unattractive. It’s an inheritor to the self-deprecation that was so core to earlier Jewish comedy, and to a long Jewish history of outsider status, now remade into a truth-telling device.

This comedy might not be overtly Jewish. But something about this new cadre of comics’ ability to create a new genre, to define new boundaries, and to navigate a tightrope of nuance, feels, to me, almost Talmudic. It feels like these comedians so confidently own their Jewishness that they hardly need to mention it — but nevertheless, it’s foundational to who they are, and how they joke.

A splintered comedy for a splintered community

Jason Zinoman, the comedy critic at The New York Times, wrote a piece asking whether the Golden Age of Jewish comedy had come to an end, crumbling in the face of rising antisemitism.

Zinoman argued that it’s not, pointing out that Jewish comedy has always thrived in the face of fear. Political comedy, too, he points out, is having a moment, and much of today’s politics revolves around Jews, antisemitism and Israel — plenty of creative fuel. Navigating the intense political divides over Israel after Oct. 7, or when a “Free Palestine” comment on social media is antisemitic or not, has certainly fueled many a Jewish comedian’s set.

But in a way, the Golden Age of Jewish comedy is over, in the sense that there is no single sense of what makes comedy Jewish. There are so many kinds that appeal to so many audiences. Some, like Rosenfeld, have turned inwards, while others, like Herschberg, have used comedy to communicate the deep confusion many Jews feel about navigating their identity. And still more, like Friedman, have tried to create something new, a way of being Jewish that still feels completely identifiable as such without many of the obvious markers.

It’s a funhouse mirror of what’s happened to the Jewish community in general in the past few years as it has fractured over Israel and Zionism. Some Jews have become either outspoken Zionists or outspoken anti-Zionists. Others — including some synagogues and minyans — have tried to chart a middle course, navigating stormy waters without tipping either way. And others are trying to invent a new way to understand their identity and beliefs. But none of them have left their identity behind.

The same goes for the Jewish comedy — it’s all Jewish, even when it’s not doing it very traditionally. You know it when you see it.

The post How a new generation of comics is changing the face of Jewish comedy — and Judaism itself appeared first on The Forward.

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Trump highlights last year’s Iran strikes in State of the Union delivered as US forces prep for possible new ones

(JTA) — President Donald Trump devoted most of his State of the Union address Tuesday night to familiar themes of economic strength and immigration enforcement, but about an hour into the speech he turned to foreign conflicts and issues closely watched by Jewish audiences, including Gaza and Iran.

Speaking to a joint session of Congress for the first State of the Union address of his second term, Trump cast his administration as a global peacemaker while also emphasizing military power.

“We’re proudly restoring safety for Americans at home, and we are also restoring security for Americans abroad,” Trump said, declaring that the United States had “never been stronger.”

In a speech that coincided with the fourth anniversary of the ongoing war between Russia and Ukraine, Trump claimed credit for ending a series of international conflicts, listing flashpoints across multiple regions. Among them, he cited tensions involving Israel and Iran and what he described as “the war in Gaza, which proceeds at a very low level, it’s just about there.” He thanked Steve Witkoff and his son-in-law Jared Kushner, both of whom have played advisory roles on Middle East policy, along with Secretary of State Marco Rubio.

Turning specifically to Gaza, Trump highlighted a ceasefire agreement and efforts to secure the release of hostages. “Under the ceasefire I negotiated, every single hostage, both living and dead, has been returned home,” Trump said. He described the recovery of the bodies of deceased captives in emotional terms, recounting conversations with grieving families and praising the cooperation of Israeli authorities.

The president’s remarks echoed his longstanding effort to frame himself as uniquely capable of brokering Middle East agreements, a message likely aimed at both domestic supporters and international audiences. The status of Gaza and the fate of hostages have been central concerns for many American Jews since the outbreak of the war.

Trump then shifted to Iran, adopting a more confrontational tone. He referenced the U.S. military’s Operation Midnight Hammer which he said “obliterated Iran’s nuclear weapons program.” The strikes targeting Iranian facilities are believed to have caused significant damage but the extent of the impact has not been confirmed by independent assessments.

Reiterating a core pillar of U.S. policy, Trump said his administration would not allow Tehran to acquire a nuclear weapon.

“My preference is to solve this problem through diplomacy, but one thing is certain, I will never allow the world’s number one sponsor of terror, which they are by far, to have a nuclear weapon,” Trump said. “No nation should ever doubt America’s resolve. We have the most powerful military on Earth.”

At least two dozen Democrats stood in a show of approval following Trump’s pledge to prevent Iran from obtaining nuclear arms.

Iran’s nuclear ambitions and regional influence have long been top priorities for pro-Israel advocates and many Jewish organizations, making the issue a recurring feature of Trump’s rhetoric.

While Trump’s comments on Gaza and Iran drew attention, the president did not address other issues that have loomed large in Jewish communal discourse. He made no mention of rising antisemitism in the United States, nor did he acknowledge increasingly visible divisions within his own political coalition over Israel.

Instead, Trump quickly returned to domestic themes, closing the speech, which lasted nearly two hours, as he began it — emphasizing economic performance, border security and what he portrayed as stark contrasts with Democrats.

The post Trump highlights last year’s Iran strikes in State of the Union delivered as US forces prep for possible new ones appeared first on The Forward.

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