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The Loneliness of American Jews Post-October 7: A Reflection on True Friendship, Antisemitism, and Double Standards
The world revealed a terrible ugliness and horrific hate on October 7, 2023, when Hamas launched a brutal terror attack on Israel, and started the ongoing war against Hamas, Palestinian Islamic Jihad, Hezbollah, and their supporters.
The global rise in anti-Jewish bigotry and hatred have been shocking, but not surprising. The hatred of Jews being so openly expressed, and often masked as anti-Zionism and anti-Israel activism, has left a deep scar on the Jewish community worldwide.
For American Jews, this tragedy has not only been a moment of profound sorrow, but also a time of painful revelation. When the terror attack began and the world reacted, many American Jews began to grapple with the uncomfortable realization of who their real friends are. The rise in anti-Jewish racism and bigotry, and the hypocritical double standards justifying antisemitic, anti-Israel, and anti-Zionist sentiments have exacerbated a profound sense of loneliness and alienation.
The Shock of Silence
In the immediate aftermath of the October 7 attack, Jewish communities across the United States looked to their friends, colleagues, and allies for support and solidarity. Many of us found solidarity among our own Jewish communities and the few allies who rose as upstanders.
While many stood in solidarity, offering condolences and condemning the violence, a distressing number of erstwhile allies were conspicuously silent. The absence of unequivocal support from individuals and organizations who had previously championed human rights and social justice was a stark and painful revelation.
This silence was not just an absence of words; it was a loud declaration of where allegiances truly lay. For many American Jews, it felt like a betrayal, a stark reminder that our pain and suffering were not seen as legitimate or worthy of the same empathy extended to other marginalized groups.
The Rise of Antisemitism
Antisemitism is anti-Jewish racism. No matter if it is called anti-Israel or anti-Zionist, it is anti-Jewish.
The resurgence of antisemitism has been another bitter pill to swallow. According to the Anti-Defamation League, antisemitic incidents in the United States have been on the rise for several years, and the aftermath of the October 7 attack has only intensified this trend. Synagogues have been vandalized, Jewish individuals harassed or attacked, and anti-Jewish rhetoric has proliferated online and in public discourse.
The surge in antisemitism is not just a reaction to the conflict in Israel, but a reflection of deep-seated prejudices that have been allowed to fester. The false dichotomy between being anti-Zionist and antisemitic has provided a convenient cover for those who harbor ill will towards Jews. The vilification of Israel often spills over into a broader hatred of Jews, making it increasingly difficult for American Jews to feel safe and accepted in our own country.
Every day, my social media accounts are filled with anti-Jewish hatred, personal threats, and even death-threats against me as an individual. And the hatred online does not stay online. I have needed security to be hired for my speaking engagements outside of Israel. News reports, and countless stories shared with me by individuals and organizations, reveal the ever-increasing targeting, bullying, harassment, hate crimes, vandalism, and terrorism.
Hypocrisy and Double Standards
One of the most insidious aspects of this experience has been the hypocritical double standards employed to justify anti-Jewish racism and anti-Zionism. Many who speak out passionately against other forms of racism and discrimination are conspicuously quiet when it comes to antisemitism. The selective application of principles of justice and human rights is glaring.
Critics of Israel often frame their arguments in the language of human rights, yet they ignore the existential threats faced by the Jewish State and its people. They hold Israel to an impossible standard, one not applied to any other nation. This hypocrisy extends to the justification of violence against Israelis and Jews, which is often downplayed or excused in ways that violence against other groups would never be.
My own liberal, progressive, and LGBTQ communities have revealed terribly anti-Israel and anti-Zionist factions that I actively speak out and stand against — and some of these are former fiends and organizations I used to be involved with.
It is vital that we stand up for our people, our values, and our rights and security, even if it means we stand up against some of the communities that were supposed to include and represent us. The harsh reality of their words and actions let us know who supports us and who is against us.
In the first months after October 7th, I felt as if two-thirds of my friends were not real friends, or had become former-friends. In the following months it felt like almost three-quarters of them were former-friends.
I was pained when people directly expressed anti-Israel, anti-Zionist, and anti-Jewish sentiments in their social media posts, in marching and attending the protests, riots, and encampments, and even in direct messages to me. But I shifted away from that pain towards the hopeful outcomes of my activism and advocacy. These former-friends revealed to me that they never were the types of people who should have been my friends to begin with.
Finding True Friends
In these challenging times, American Jews have found solace and support in unexpected places. True friends have emerged, those who understand that standing against antisemitism and supporting Israel’s right to exist is not mutually exclusive with advocating for Palestinian rights. These allies recognize that condemning terrorism and supporting Jewish communities in their time of need is a matter of basic human decency.
Jewish organizations and some interfaith groups have also played a crucial role in providing support and fostering solidarity. By coming together, sharing experiences, and working towards mutual understanding, these groups have helped to mitigate the feelings of isolation and loneliness that many American Jews have been experiencing.
I have been traveling across the United States and Canada on a speaking, advocacy, and media tour. As keynote speaker, my goal is to empower, inspire, and motivate Jews and allies towards being activists and advocates for the Jewish people, Israel, and the values we find important.
While I consistently am met with hatred and threats in many of these cities (and across social media), I have also made new friends and have witnessed communities coming together and new bonds being formed.
Moving Forward
The path forward is fraught with challenges, but it is also filled with opportunities for growth and solidarity. American Jews must continue to advocate for our rights and work towards educating others about the realities of anti-Jewish racism, hatred, and bigotry. We also must share the truths and the complexities of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Building bridges with other communities and finding common ground will be essential in combating the double standards and prejudices that persist.
In the aftermath of the October 7 attack, and the ever-increasing anti-Jewish hatred, violence, and threats, the loneliness felt by American Jews is a painful reminder of the work that still needs to be done. But it is also a testament to the resilience and strength of the Jewish people — and why the Zionist movement exists. We have faced adversity time and again. By standing together and reaching out to true friends, American Jews can continue to fight against antisemitism and for a more just and compassionate world. We are fighting for our existence today and for the future of our people, here in America, Israel, and around the world.
Am Israel Chai.
Yuval David is an Emmy and Multi-Award-Winning Actor, Filmmaker, Journalist, and Jewish LGBTQ+ activist and advisor. A creative and compelling storyteller, on stage and screen, news and across social media, Yuval shares the narrative of Jewish activism and enduring hope. Follow him on Instagram and X.
The post The Loneliness of American Jews Post-October 7: A Reflection on True Friendship, Antisemitism, and Double Standards first appeared on Algemeiner.com.
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Survey: Jews in smaller communities feel less heard when raising concerns about antisemitism
(JTA) — Jews living in smaller communities are less likely than those in large communities to feel their concerns about antisemitism are taken seriously by law enforcement and would-be allies, a new survey from the Jewish Federations of North America has found.
Jews in smaller communities were “lacking a sense of allyship in the communities around them,” said Mimi Kravetz, the chief impact and growth officer for JFNA.
“Jews in small communities tell us that they feel deeply concerned that they’re looking for support, that their leadership is looking for network and resources, because it can feel like they’re on their own,” Kravetz told the Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
The JFNA survey, which was compiled from its March 2025 study of Jewish Life in North America, found that 22% of Jews live in small communities. Defined as Jewish communities with fewer than 5,000 Jews living within five miles of their zip code, small Jewish communities are also more likely to be found in the South or in rural or suburban areas.
Although the survey found no statistically significant difference in the antisemitism experienced by Jews in smaller and larger communities, it found that Jews in small communities are more likely to feel that antisemitism is invalidated or dismissed.
Among respondents, 58% of Jews in small communities reported feeling more likely to be invalidated, compared with 48% of Jews overall.
Jews in small communities were also less likely to express confidence in local law enforcement’s responses to antisemitism. Just 39% of Jews in small communities say local law enforcement takes antisemitism seriously, compared with 47% of Jews in larger communities.
Leaders of small Jewish communities also feel less physically safe in Jewish spaces than their big city counterparts: 60% of those small-community leaders said they feel safe, compared to 86% of community leaders overall.
While the survey found that 50% of Jews in smaller communities report being unengaged in Jewish life, compared to 36% of Jewish respondents overall, they were just as likely to say they wanted greater connection to Jewish life.
The survey suggested that geographic constraints and limited availability of Jewish life likely caused the disparity in engagement, even as Jews sought out Jewish connections in the wake of the Oct. 7 attacks in Israel.
Kravetz said Jews in small communities were just as likely as Jews in big communities to crave those connections.
“What’s needed in small Jewish communities is more leadership infrastructure and support for Jewish life,” Kravetz said.
The survey was conducted before the January arson attack on Beth Israel Congregation, the only synagogue in Jackson, Mississippi, which drew renewed attention to the security challenges facing smaller Jewish communities.
Michele Schipper, the CEO of the Goldring/Woldenberg Institute of Southern Jewish Life, a nonprofit that supports Jewish communities across the South and was housed inside Beth Israel Congregation prior to the arson attack, said security remains a challenge for some smaller congregations.
“For some of those smaller communities, they may not be able to have personnel on site every time they’re open,” Schipper said. “It may be an older building. Not everyone is able to get one of the secure community grants,” she said, referring to federal and state government grants to nonprofits seen as vulnerable to attack.
Earlier this month leaders from Jewish communities across the South convened at the ISJL’s annual conference in Charlotte, North Carolina, where Schipper said they discussed strategies for keeping smaller communities safe.
“One of the things we really did share is how important it is not to isolate ourselves in these communities, but to continually build relationships with the local community, with local law enforcement, so that when, God forbid, something happens, you’re not starting to reach out or wait for somebody to contact you,” Schipper said.
Looking ahead, Schipper said her message to Jews in small communities was to “continue to build relationships in your own local community, and just continue to participate in the Jewish community and stay strong and positive.”
The study, which was conducted online by JFNA from March 5-25, 2025, surveyed 5,798 total U.S. adults, of which 1,877 identified as Jewish. The margin of error for Jewish adults was ± 2.26%, and samples were weighted to be representative of the U.S. population and Jewish community.
This article originally appeared on JTA.org.
The post Survey: Jews in smaller communities feel less heard when raising concerns about antisemitism appeared first on The Forward.
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Hitler appears in the baby photos section of a New Jersey middle school
(JTA) — Adolf Hitler cropped up in the student baby photos section of a New Jersey middle school yearbook, prompting condemnation from school officials and local Jewish leaders.
In a letter sent last Thursday to the school community, East Brook Middle School Principal Ryan Aupperlee said that the school in Paramus had launched an investigation into the incident in “coordination with law enforcement.”
“Adolf Hitler represents hatred, antisemitism, and the horrors of the Holocaust, including the murder of six million Jews,” Aupperlee wrote in the letter obtained by the Jewish Telegraphic Agency. “An image of him has no place in a yearbook created for our students. It does not reflect who we are or what East Brook stands for, and we condemn its inclusion without reservation.”
Sean Adams, the superintendent of Paramus Public Schools, told JTA in an emailed statement that the yearbooks were taken back from the students “the same day they were distributed, before the students left school for the day.”
“We are working with the yearbook company to develop a solution that will allow us to redistribute the yearbooks after removing the offensive content while still allowing students to retain the handwritten, personalized messages their classmates and teachers had already written in their yearbooks,” Adams said.
Adams said that an investigation into the incident was “ongoing,” and that “any details related to students must remain confidential.”
The incident comes amid a spate of allegations of antisemitism in New Jersey schools in recent years. In 2024, the U.S. Department of Education opened an investigation into Teaneck Public Schools after parents alleged the system had fostered an antisemitic climate since the Oct. 7, 2023 Hamas massacres in Israel. The same year, teachers at Fort Lee High School presented a lesson that described Hamas as a “Palestinian political party and armed resistance movement.”
A high school yearbook in East Brunswick, New Jersey, also drew condemnation and was recalled in 2024 after a photo of the “Jewish Student Association” was replaced with one of a Muslim student group.
Jason Shames, the president and CEO of the Jewish Federation of Northern New Jersey, said that the incident was “shocking people to the core.”
“I’m not rushing to judgment, but again, if I know that it’s a minor, I want consequences. If I know that’s an adult, I want consequences,” Shames said, adding that the Jewish community “demands” to see accountability.
On Friday, Paramus Mayor Chris DiPiazza condemned the incident in a post on Facebook, writing that, “Any examples, like yesterday’s, does not reflect Paramus.”
Shames said that while he felt the school “handled it right,” he was still looking to other state leaders for a statement condemning the incident.
“There should be global condemnation,” Shames said. “If the school has already done it, and the mayor’s already done it, where’s the uproar?”
He said the incident reflected a broader normalization of antisemitism.
“It’s infuriating that it’s come to this. There’s a bigger statement about the illness in American society today, and the antisemitism, and the hate that’s involved in this,” Shames said. “Even if it winds up being two middle school kids who thought it was funny, we have a problem now with people thinking Hitler and Nazi jokes are funny.”
Rabbi Arthur Weiner, the leader of the Conservative Congregation Beth Tikvah in Paramus, said that he was first alerted to the yearbook by a congregant whose child attends the school.
On Monday, Weiner sent a letter to congregants saying that he was “angered by this blatant antisemitic incident,” and had been in contact with the school district and local elected leaders about their response.
“Events like these are of great concern to us both personally and as a community,” Weiner wrote. “Incidents involving Nazi imagery or references to Hitler are not merely offensive. They touch deep historical wounds and remind us why vigilance remains so important.”
Weiner said that the local Jewish community could “take heart in the reaction of the authorities to this particular event.”
“We have not always seen that clear and unambiguous response from school districts when similar incidents of antisemitism and bias have occurred,” Weiner told JTA. “I think we’ve been very, very proud of the response.”
Rabbi Shmuel Goldstein of the Modern Orthodox Congregation Beth Tefillah in Paramus said that while many parents at his congregation had expressed “frustration,” “hurt,” and “concern” over the incident, they also felt “supported by the local government.”
Goldstein said that he nonetheless did “not feel that there’s nearly enough proactive measures in the local school systems.”
“These incidents don’t happen in a vacuum,” Goldstein said. “They happen because someone is taught at home on social media or informally amongst peers at schools, that it is okay to hurt Jewish people, that has to be made clear, that that is unacceptable.”
This article originally appeared on JTA.org.
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The warmth of community, the heat of hostility: Yona Speidel’s Jewish journey
(JTA) — Hours after emerging from a ritual bath marking her conversion to Judaism, Yona Speidel was leaving a celebratory dinner with her rabbi when a man across the street yelled “f–ck Jews.”
For Speidel, it was an unexpected welcome into the Jewish community.
“My rabbi looked at me and he goes, ‘Welcome,’” Speidel recalled. “And I was like, ‘Oh, great, I’m home.”
The conversion ceremony in Los Angeles in March marked the conclusion of a decade-long exploration of Judaism for Speidel, the prominent transgender Emmy-nominated television writer and producer formerly known as Our Lady J.
“Over a period of 12 years of casually dating Judaism, I eventually got engaged when I realized that Judaism holds so much space for all of me, and then some,” Speidel said.
Growing up in Central Southern Pennsylvania, where two of her great-grandparents had been Mennonites, Speidel said that she had little exposure to Jews. Still, she felt a pull toward Jewish culture from an early age.
“I don’t remember when I first became aware of Judaism as a culture,” Speidel said. “But I knew I loved New York City. Many years later, I look back, and I’m like, ‘Oh, I love Jews, I love Jewish culture, that’s what drew me to New York.’”
Speidel is believed to have become the first out trans writer to be hired in a television writers’ room when she joined the hit TV show “Transparent,” which follows the story of a Jewish family in Los Angeles with a parent who comes out as trans.
During the show’s third season, as she became immersed in researching Judaism for the show, Speidel said she began taking conversion classes but then put them on pause because she “wasn’t sure if there was space for me in Judaism.”
That all changed during the COVID-19 pandemic, when Speidel said she began opening up to faith and spirituality after becoming “burnt out” by her work on “Transparent” and another hit LGBTQ TV show, “Pose.”
“As the world got more complicated and darker and scarier for a lot of people, and especially for Jews, I found that Judaism was able to hold everything for me that I needed to pour out, to release,” Speidel said.
Speidel, who learned as an adult that she is intersex, said that at the time she discovered Isaiah 56, a passage of the Hebrew Bible that promises a place for eunuchs in the Temple.
She said discovering the passage left her feeling that her “intersex and trans identity feels really seen and awakened.”
“It was not only that I was accepted as, you know, this idea of tolerated, but rather I could see a part of me that would be uplifted, actually, and be embraced, and that’s always been in Judaism,” Speidel said.
In late 2024, Speidel began taking conversion classes again at the American Jewish University, saying that rising antisemitism had strengthened her commitment to Judaism.
“In a post-Oct. 7 world, I felt, even though I wasn’t officially Jewish at that point, I felt how much Judaism meant to me — and how much it informed my life and enriched my life — was under threat, and so it made me want to step up and be more conscious in my relationship with Judaism,” Speidel said.
Speidel is not the only person to embrace Judaism amid rising antisemitism. In recent years, some rabbis have reported increased interest in conversion, with prospective converts saying the post Oct. 7 environment strengthened rather than diminished their commitment to Judaism.
In the midst of her conversion, which she completed with Rabbi Igael Gurin-Malous, the lead rabbi at the Reform Beit T’Shuvah in Los Angeles, Speidel also took aim at what she described as anti-Zionism within the LGBTQ community in a social media post.
“Zionism is not a dirty word,” she wrote. “It is the belief in Israel’s right to exist as a Jewish state.”
Speidel faced a spate of online attacks following the statement, but she said she felt obligated to be the “bridge” between the Jewish and LGBTQ communities.
“I think that word ‘Zionist’ means a lot of different things to a lot of people, and so people ran with it and did what they wanted to do with it, and that did not feel good, but at the same time I was grateful for the people who got closer to me and understood my intentions,” Speidel said.
While Pride Month celebrations and parades took place in cities across the United States during June, Speidel said that she had not participated in them in years because of the antisemitism she had seen in those spaces.
“The LGBT movement needs to really look at itself in the mirror and say no to antisemitism, you know, before I come back and dance under the rainbow again,” Speidel said.
Looking ahead, Speidel said she remains optimistic about the future of Jewish life despite present challenges.
“A storm is here, and the storm is going to pass,” Speidel said. “But at the end of the day, we carry this incredible legacy with us, and we get to pass it down, and it’s something to be proud of.”
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