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The Loneliness of American Jews Post-October 7: A Reflection on True Friendship, Antisemitism, and Double Standards
The world revealed a terrible ugliness and horrific hate on October 7, 2023, when Hamas launched a brutal terror attack on Israel, and started the ongoing war against Hamas, Palestinian Islamic Jihad, Hezbollah, and their supporters.
The global rise in anti-Jewish bigotry and hatred have been shocking, but not surprising. The hatred of Jews being so openly expressed, and often masked as anti-Zionism and anti-Israel activism, has left a deep scar on the Jewish community worldwide.
For American Jews, this tragedy has not only been a moment of profound sorrow, but also a time of painful revelation. When the terror attack began and the world reacted, many American Jews began to grapple with the uncomfortable realization of who their real friends are. The rise in anti-Jewish racism and bigotry, and the hypocritical double standards justifying antisemitic, anti-Israel, and anti-Zionist sentiments have exacerbated a profound sense of loneliness and alienation.
The Shock of Silence
In the immediate aftermath of the October 7 attack, Jewish communities across the United States looked to their friends, colleagues, and allies for support and solidarity. Many of us found solidarity among our own Jewish communities and the few allies who rose as upstanders.
While many stood in solidarity, offering condolences and condemning the violence, a distressing number of erstwhile allies were conspicuously silent. The absence of unequivocal support from individuals and organizations who had previously championed human rights and social justice was a stark and painful revelation.
This silence was not just an absence of words; it was a loud declaration of where allegiances truly lay. For many American Jews, it felt like a betrayal, a stark reminder that our pain and suffering were not seen as legitimate or worthy of the same empathy extended to other marginalized groups.
The Rise of Antisemitism
Antisemitism is anti-Jewish racism. No matter if it is called anti-Israel or anti-Zionist, it is anti-Jewish.
The resurgence of antisemitism has been another bitter pill to swallow. According to the Anti-Defamation League, antisemitic incidents in the United States have been on the rise for several years, and the aftermath of the October 7 attack has only intensified this trend. Synagogues have been vandalized, Jewish individuals harassed or attacked, and anti-Jewish rhetoric has proliferated online and in public discourse.
The surge in antisemitism is not just a reaction to the conflict in Israel, but a reflection of deep-seated prejudices that have been allowed to fester. The false dichotomy between being anti-Zionist and antisemitic has provided a convenient cover for those who harbor ill will towards Jews. The vilification of Israel often spills over into a broader hatred of Jews, making it increasingly difficult for American Jews to feel safe and accepted in our own country.
Every day, my social media accounts are filled with anti-Jewish hatred, personal threats, and even death-threats against me as an individual. And the hatred online does not stay online. I have needed security to be hired for my speaking engagements outside of Israel. News reports, and countless stories shared with me by individuals and organizations, reveal the ever-increasing targeting, bullying, harassment, hate crimes, vandalism, and terrorism.
Hypocrisy and Double Standards
One of the most insidious aspects of this experience has been the hypocritical double standards employed to justify anti-Jewish racism and anti-Zionism. Many who speak out passionately against other forms of racism and discrimination are conspicuously quiet when it comes to antisemitism. The selective application of principles of justice and human rights is glaring.
Critics of Israel often frame their arguments in the language of human rights, yet they ignore the existential threats faced by the Jewish State and its people. They hold Israel to an impossible standard, one not applied to any other nation. This hypocrisy extends to the justification of violence against Israelis and Jews, which is often downplayed or excused in ways that violence against other groups would never be.
My own liberal, progressive, and LGBTQ communities have revealed terribly anti-Israel and anti-Zionist factions that I actively speak out and stand against — and some of these are former fiends and organizations I used to be involved with.
It is vital that we stand up for our people, our values, and our rights and security, even if it means we stand up against some of the communities that were supposed to include and represent us. The harsh reality of their words and actions let us know who supports us and who is against us.
In the first months after October 7th, I felt as if two-thirds of my friends were not real friends, or had become former-friends. In the following months it felt like almost three-quarters of them were former-friends.
I was pained when people directly expressed anti-Israel, anti-Zionist, and anti-Jewish sentiments in their social media posts, in marching and attending the protests, riots, and encampments, and even in direct messages to me. But I shifted away from that pain towards the hopeful outcomes of my activism and advocacy. These former-friends revealed to me that they never were the types of people who should have been my friends to begin with.
Finding True Friends
In these challenging times, American Jews have found solace and support in unexpected places. True friends have emerged, those who understand that standing against antisemitism and supporting Israel’s right to exist is not mutually exclusive with advocating for Palestinian rights. These allies recognize that condemning terrorism and supporting Jewish communities in their time of need is a matter of basic human decency.
Jewish organizations and some interfaith groups have also played a crucial role in providing support and fostering solidarity. By coming together, sharing experiences, and working towards mutual understanding, these groups have helped to mitigate the feelings of isolation and loneliness that many American Jews have been experiencing.
I have been traveling across the United States and Canada on a speaking, advocacy, and media tour. As keynote speaker, my goal is to empower, inspire, and motivate Jews and allies towards being activists and advocates for the Jewish people, Israel, and the values we find important.
While I consistently am met with hatred and threats in many of these cities (and across social media), I have also made new friends and have witnessed communities coming together and new bonds being formed.
Moving Forward
The path forward is fraught with challenges, but it is also filled with opportunities for growth and solidarity. American Jews must continue to advocate for our rights and work towards educating others about the realities of anti-Jewish racism, hatred, and bigotry. We also must share the truths and the complexities of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Building bridges with other communities and finding common ground will be essential in combating the double standards and prejudices that persist.
In the aftermath of the October 7 attack, and the ever-increasing anti-Jewish hatred, violence, and threats, the loneliness felt by American Jews is a painful reminder of the work that still needs to be done. But it is also a testament to the resilience and strength of the Jewish people — and why the Zionist movement exists. We have faced adversity time and again. By standing together and reaching out to true friends, American Jews can continue to fight against antisemitism and for a more just and compassionate world. We are fighting for our existence today and for the future of our people, here in America, Israel, and around the world.
Am Israel Chai.
Yuval David is an Emmy and Multi-Award-Winning Actor, Filmmaker, Journalist, and Jewish LGBTQ+ activist and advisor. A creative and compelling storyteller, on stage and screen, news and across social media, Yuval shares the narrative of Jewish activism and enduring hope. Follow him on Instagram and X.
The post The Loneliness of American Jews Post-October 7: A Reflection on True Friendship, Antisemitism, and Double Standards first appeared on Algemeiner.com.
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Quiz: For America 250, how well do you know U.S. Jewish history?
The Forward produced The Great American Jewish History Quiz! using Claude, a generative artificial intelligence tool by Anthropic. All questions and answers were researched and written by Louis Keene, who prompted Claude to create the user interface and underlying code and to track statistics.
Questions or feedback? Send us an email: forwardquiz@forward.com.
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Mazel tov, Taylor and Travis: A rabbi’s imagined wedding speech under the celebrity chuppah
I have to admit, as a rabbi, I never imagined I’d be standing at a wedding bringing together two of America’s great religions: football and Taylor Swift.
And yet here we are. I’ve officiated weddings in synagogues, in backyards, on beaches. I was not prepared for Madison Square Garden.
Before I get to the blessings, I need to share a little Torah with you. Don’t worry: I’ll keep it short. Half this room is Swifties and half is Chiefs fans, and the only thing you agree on is that you didn’t come here for a sermon.
The very first matchmaking story in the Torah involves a man named Eliezer, sent by the patriarch Abraham on a mission: find a wife for Abraham’s son Isaac. Eliezer travels far, he arrives at a well, and he devises a test. A test that looked past beauty, past pedigree, past fame, past achievement.
The test is simple: When a stranger arrives tired and thirsty, what do you do?
Rebecca does more than just offer water to Eliezer. She sees his camels are also thirsty, and without being asked, she waters every single one. Ten camels. Anyone who has ever watered a camel knows this is not a small thing.
And the Torah stops to tell us: this is the wife for Isaac.
The Torah could have stopped to admire her talent or her beauty. Instead, it stopped to admire her kindness. Because she saw need in the world and responded to it, just because that’s who she was.
Taylor and Travis, I think about that story when I think about the two of you. Because what we know about you isn’t just about the Grammys or the Super Bowls. It’s about the friendships. It’s about the family. It’s the way Travis’s eyes light up when he talks about his brother Jason. It’s the way Taylor has shown up, year after year, for her crew — the people who have been with her since the beginning, long before the sold-out stadiums.
These are people who know how to love. Eliezer traveled hundreds of miles looking for exactly that. Turns out it was worth the trip.
Red zones and red carpets
Now, because we have a professional athlete here, permit me a football analogy.
Every great quarterback needs protection from a tight end like Travis. Every championship team depends on its offensive line. The line doesn’t get the glory. They don’t score the touchdowns. But without them, nothing works.
Marriage is the same. Protect one another. Protect each other’s dignity. Protect each other’s dreams. Protect each other’s hearts. Be each other’s offensive line on the hard days.
And because we also have one of the greatest songwriters in history standing before me — someone who has written the soundtrack to a generation — permit me a music analogy as well.
Every beautiful song has both melody and rhythm. Sometimes one instrument leads. Sometimes another does. But what makes the song truly beautiful is that each makes room for the other. The goal is never the solo. The goal is the harmony.
Marriage is exactly the same. There will be seasons when one of you carries more. Seasons when one of you needs extra support. Seasons of celebration and seasons of challenge. The goal is to reflect each other’s light. The goal is to create something together that neither of you could have created alone.
So, Taylor and Travis, here is my blessing for you: May you always remember what drew you to each other, the soul beneath the spotlight. May you protect each other fiercely and gently, in the stadiums and in the quiet rooms where no one is watching. May you make room for one another — to lead and to follow, season by season, era by era.
And may the love you build together — the real love, the private love, the love that has absolutely nothing to do with cameras or crowds — be the greatest thing either of you ever creates.
Mazel tov.
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The 50 most interesting Jews in American history you’ve probably never heard of
The United States is turning 250 years old. You know the stories of many of the Jews who have helped to shape the country’s history and culture, including such luminaries as Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel, Philip Roth and Barbra Streisand.
But behind the American Jewish names we know and revere are the stories of many other American Jews who influenced the nation — and whose lives reflected the country’s efforts to realize its founding promises — who have found less purchase in history’s spotlight. To celebrate the 250th anniversary of this country’s founding, we’ve collected 50 of those stories here.
Among their number are scientists, athletes, lawmakers, clergymen and a couple genuine American characters — the type of people who, no matter where they were born, ended up living lives that speak to the best of what the U.S. has to offer its citizens.
As one of our honorees, the author Edna Ferber, wrote: “America — rather, the United States — seems to me to be the Jew among the nations. It is resourceful, adaptable, maligned, envied, feared, imposed upon. It is warmhearted, overfriendly; quick-witted, lavish, colorful; given to extravagant speech and gestures. Its people are travelers and wanderers by nature, moving, shifting, restless; swarming in Fords, in ocean liners; craving entertainment; volatile. The schnuckle among the nations of the world.”
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