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When a breast cancer diagnosis knocked me down, a network of Jewish women lifted me up
(JTA) — On the way home from the hospital where I was given my diagnosis of grade 2 invasive lobular breast cancer, I directed my husband, through my tears, to stop at the kosher store.
“I don’t want to see anyone right now,” I said, knowing the inevitability of running into someone we knew in the small Jewish community where we live, “so can you go in?” He pulled into the parking lot. “We need challah,” I reminded him. It was Thursday, after all. The next evening was Shabbat. Time doesn’t stand still for cancer.
My hospital appointment took place two days after the front page of the New York Times declared: “When Should Women Get Regular Mammograms: At 40, U.S. Panel Now Says.” I was 48. Breast cancer has long been the second most common cancer for women, after skin cancer. It is also the most lethal after lung cancer. Statistically, though, most women affected are postmenopausal, so unless there was a specific reason to test early, women were screened regularly from the age of 50. Now, the advice has changed. Breast cancer is rising in younger women. For women in their 40s, the rate of increase between 2015 and 2019 doubled from the previous decade to 2 per cent per year.
Why is this happening? Air pollution? Microplastics? Chemicals in our food? We don’t know.
In the days following my appointment, there was a proliferation of articles about the topic. Importantly, doctors explained that the cancer women are diagnosed with in their 40s tends to be a more aggressive type of cancer. Cancers in premenopausal women grow faster; many breast cancers, like mine, are hormone sensitive. (Got estrogen? Bad luck for you.)
When I posted the news about my diagnosis — on Facebook, because I’m an oversharing type — I was stunned by the number of friends my age, more discreet about their lives, who sent me messages to tell me they had recently gone through the same thing. Everyone had advice. “If you can do a lumpectomy, you’re very lucky. It’s not a major operation, and you’ll preserve your breast.” “Cut it all off! Immediately! Just get rid of all it and you’ll never worry again! Do you want to spend the rest of your life in mammogram scanxiety?” “Ask plastic surgeons for pictures, and pick the cutest new boobs out there. You won’t regret it.” “The radiation burns—that’s something no one ever tells you. Get yourself some Lubriderm and lidocaine, mix into a slurry, slap it on a panty liner, and tuck it in your sports bra.”
I’m not sure why I thought I was immune. Or maybe I didn’t — maybe I just never gave it much thought. Even when I found the lump on my breast, I was dismissive. I went to the doctor, and she asked if anyone in my family had had breast cancer. “Oh, who knows? They were all murdered,” I said blithely. Her eyes bugged. “In the Holocaust,” I added. “Your…mother? Grandmother? Sisters?” “Oh! No, no history of breast cancer in my immediate family.”
Add to that, my mother and sister both tested negative for the BRCA gene mutations, and that’s my Ashkenazi side. The thing is, though, most women who test positive for breast cancer have no family history of it.
But also, I’d done everything right! If you look through the preventative measures, I took all of them. I had three kids by 35, and I breastfed them. I have a healthy, mostly plant-based diet; I walk and cycle everywhere. I’m not a drinker or smoker. I eat so many blueberries!
Several of the articles that have been published in recent days are emphasizing the particular danger for Black women, with good reason: They have twice the mortality rate of white women. But as I did my research, I realized that Jewish women should also be on high alert. We’ve long known that one in forty Ashkenazi women has the BRCA gene mutation, significantly raising the risk of breast cancer (50% of women with the gene mutation will get breast cancer) as well ovarian cancer, which is much harder to detect and far more deadly. So many of my friends who reached out to me to tell me of their breast cancer experiences are Jewish; interestingly, not one has the BRCA mutation. Are these high numbers indicative or anecdotal? Are Jewish women generally more susceptible to breast cancer? This seems to be an important area of future research.
For me, that research will come too late — as did the guidance. For now, I have to accept that this cancer diagnosis is part of my life, that just as I will pick up challah every Thursday, I will wake every morning and take my hormone-blocking Tamoxifen. I will lose sleep every night about which surgery to have until I have the surgery, and then I will lose sleep every night about whether it was fully successful. And there’s plenty more in store for me that isn’t pretty; so it goes.
But here’s a good thing that’s already come out of this diagnosis: When the responses to my Facebook post flooded in, they were not only along the lines of “Refuah shleimah” and “I’ve just been through this too,” but also, “Thank you for sharing! I’m going to book my mammogram right now!”
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From pop icon to outspoken Zionist: Boy George’s emotional visit to Nova
(JTA) — RE’IM, Nova Festival Memorial Site, Israel – Iconic 80s pop star Boy George is in Israel this week. He’s made all the usual stops on a celebrity visit: met with the president, placed a note in the Western Wall and, of course, performed two concerts. But it was his visit to the Nova Festival Memorial Site near Kibbutz Re’im on Tuesday that underscored the main reason for his visit.
An outspoken supporter of Jews and Israel, even as he has faced a backlash from within the music industry, the iconic ’80s pop star said that hearing about the massacre and seeing the site where more than 360 people were killed on Oct. 7, 2023 had only strengthened his convictions.
“I saw what happened on October 7… I was up very early, and I saw it, and it just horrified me,” Boy George told a press conference on Tuesday, following a tour of the memorial with former hostages, survivors and other members of the Tribe of Nova Community Association.
“But what horrified me more was hearing people that have no connection to what happened telling me it wasn’t true, that it was made up, and that I shouldn’t believe it,” he said.
Boy George, a British singer who achieved international fame in the 1980s with Culture Club and hits such as “Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?” and “Karma Chameleon,” holds a pioneering place in modern pop history. With his androgynous look, Rastafarian-inspired dreadlocks and oversized hats, the white singer challenged conventional ideas about gender and sexuality at a time when doing so could come at a cost.
He countered convention again in the wake of the Oct. 7 attacks, speaking out on behalf of Jews and Israel when parts of an entertainment industry were calling for boycotts and blacklists of Israeli performers and their allies.
Boy George, 65, told journalists in Israel this week that he had lost long-time friends over his position on Israel, but said he was not particularly troubled by it, because he felt he was doing the right thing.
“I feel odd being thanked for doing what’s just normal,” he said. “Music should make people feel safe, celebrated, and like they belong. That’s the music I want to make.”
The singer said some of the reactions to his support for Israel have been “shocking to me, but also a bit predictable.”
He said that the attacks against him have ranged from bashing his music to calling him “irrelevant,” and even accusing him of being a “Zionist.”
“Until I started getting called a Zionist, I hadn’t really explored what it meant, and then I was like, ‘well, I guess it must be,’” Boy George said. “In the end, I just put a thing up [on social media] saying, ‘I’m a Zionist, get over it.’”
Two incidents this year solidified his support for Jews and Israel. In April, he arrived in the London Jewish neighborhood of Golders Green and witnessed the aftermath of the stabbing of two Jewish men. He later went on British television, tearily condemning the attack and calling for support for “our Jewish community.”
In May, at a travelling exhibit about the Nova attack, he heard the testimony of a young survivor, May Hayat. The 33-year-old Tel Avivian witnessed the murder of two friends before Hamas terrorists set her free.
Moved by Hayat’s story, the singer wrote “We Will Dance Again,” a slogan he borrowed from the Tribe of Nova community. Released on July 26, its lyrics include, “you say genocide / I say war.”
“One of the things I’ve always hated doing is explaining why I’ve written something,” Boy George said of the song, which drew massive criticism from some in the music industry but has become an anthem for Israelis.
“Very often, what I write is sort of personal, a little bit surreptitious, secretive… but I’m afraid with ‘We Will Dance Again,’ there was no secrecy or subtext whatsoever,” he said.
“I kept hearing that word [genocide] over and over and over and obviously, I’ve done a bit of research on the word, and I know it wasn’t the right word and I felt, well, if it’s being bandied about by every single person that I speak to, then maybe I should put it in the song,” he said.
The singer also highlighted another line from the song: “If you’re ever confused / I stand with the Jews.”
The singer said he doubted the song would get airplay, “but it really wasn’t about that… it was about what do I need to do about what I feel deeply inside.”
Speaking to the Jewish Telegraphic Agency, Hayat said she was flattered that Boy George was inspired to write a song after hearing her story, but added that this was precisely why she now devotes her time to telling others what happened on Oct. 7.
“If I was saved and I am still alive, then I have to tell this story for myself and for those who can’t tell their story,” she said. The song “strengthens me in doing what I am doing.”
Boy George said that being at the site of the Nova festival was “very powerful.”
“Obviously, you can see there’s a lot of healing that’s gone on, and that’s really important because an outsider never knows what they’re supposed to feel,” he said, after touring the memorial, which includes photos of each victim, as well as tributes from friends and family.
Boy George was accompanied to the Nova site by Sylvan Adams, president of the World Jewish Congress Israel. Adams, together with the Museum of Tolerance Jerusalem and Live Nation Israel. Boy George was accompanied to the Nova site by Sylvan Adams, president of the World Jewish Congress Israel. Adams, together with the Museum of Tolerance Jerusalem donated 1,500 concert tickets to Nova survivors and bereaved families so they could attend Saturday night’s concert.
“At a time when too many international artists have chosen to boycott Israel or remain silent in the face of antisemitism, you chose to come,” said Adams. “You used your voice and your international platform to stand with the Jewish people, despite the threats and boycotts. That takes courage. And moral clarity.”
This article originally appeared on JTA.org.
The post From pop icon to outspoken Zionist: Boy George’s emotional visit to Nova appeared first on The Forward.
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Wisconsin referendum on freedom to worship fails at the ballot box
(JTA) — A Wisconsin referendum that would prohibit state and local governments from closing places of worship in response to a declared emergency was rejected in Tuesday’s election by 52% of voters.
The question was raised in response to the COVID-19 pandemic, during which places of worship were subject to public health orders restricting large gatherings. If approved, the Wisconsin Constitution would have gained language prohibiting the state to “order the closure of or forbid gatherings in places of worship in response to a state of emergency at the national, state, or local level, including an emergency related to public health.”
Critics said that the language of the referendum was vague because it did not define what a “place of worship” was, leaving uncertainty over whether it could encompass someone’s home in which religious services are hosted. The League of Women Voters of Wisconsin, which opposed the referendum, said the measure is a threat to public health. It added that the law as it stands does not “prevent any person from worshipping God, as such worship can and is practiced on an individual basis in one’s own home during an emergency.”
Rabbi Joel Alter, who leads Milwaukee’s predominant Conservative synagogue Congregation Beth Israel Ner Tamid, said that while he understands the concerns the referendum stemmed from, he voted to reject the prohibition. “I don’t think the state constitution is the way to respond to concerns that people have,” he said. “I would much rather see advisory panels and possibly legislators hold really thoughtful hearings and studies to make recommendations for the next emergency—whether it’s a health emergency or some other emergency—about how to handle houses of worship in the interest of public health.”
The Wisconsin Family Council, a conservative Christian organization, had advocated in favor of the prohibition, saying it would ensure “that your local church is never treated as ‘non-essential’ by the government again.” Other proponents, including a number of local churches, argued that places of worship are “lifelines” during times of crisis, and that closing them is a violation of religious freedom.
Other states—including Kentucky, Oklahoma, Florida and New Hampshire—have adopted similar protections, but the Wisconsin referendum would have offered stronger protections for churches, synagogues and other places of worship than other essential locations, such as schools or grocery stores. Texas adopted a constitutional protection against government restrictions on religious services in 2021.
Because the governor cannot veto a constitutional amendment, the Republican-run state legislature put forth constitutional amendments to bypass the veto of Gov. Tony Evers, who did not run for reelection. Evers vetoed a bill containing similar protections for places of worship in 2021. In addition to the religious freedom referendum, Republican lawmakers also introduced two others, one that would further limit the governor’s partial veto powers, which passed with 51% of voters favoring, and another that could restrict affirmative action and some diversity, equity and inclusion programs, which passed with 56% of the vote.
David Crowley, Democratic governor-elect, said he would vote “no” on all three questions.
This article originally appeared on JTA.org.
The post Wisconsin referendum on freedom to worship fails at the ballot box appeared first on The Forward.
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Wiener to hold Pelosi’s House seat after race in which both candidates attacked Israel
(JTA) — Democratic state Sen. Scott Wiener declared victory Wednesday in the midterm race against his Democratic rival to succeed U.S. Rep. Nancy Pelosi, who has represented San Francisco since 1987.
As of Wednesday, The Associated Press reported that Wiener had 55.5% of the vote compared with 44.5% for his opponent, San Francisco Supervisor Connie Chan, with 57% of ballots counted.
“I’m humbled to carry forward the powerful legacy of this seat,” Wiener wrote in a post on X in which he paid homage to Pelosi’s work on behalf of San Francisco and during her time as speaker of the House.
“Speaker Pelosi came to Congress to fight AIDS when too many wanted to look away, and she never stopped fighting for our city and our country. Madame Speaker, thank you,” he wrote.
Wiener, who is gay, wrote that his victory was “historic” because he would be the first open member of the LGBTQ community to represent Northern California and San Francisco in particular in Congress.
His statement focused on affordable housing, universal health care and clean energy.
“On Election Day, voters across the country delivered a powerful mandate for Democrats in Congress. I’m deeply inspired by the trust they placed in us to take big swings to lower the cost of living, stop the endless wars, hold Trump and his cronies accountable for their corruption, and rein in the threat of artificial intelligence,” he wrote.
Israel, however, was one of the talking points during the campaign, with both candidates accusing it of genocide against Palestinians in Gaza over the last three years.
Chan ran to Wiener’s left on Israel. Wiener, a self-proclaimed “lefty Jew,” opposes offensive weapons sales to an Israeli government not committed to peace, but supports defensive systems. Chan supports a full arms embargo and says that Palestinian refugees should be allowed to return to areas within sovereign Israel.
Wiener’s statement that Israel committed genocide sparked backlash from major Jewish institutions and cost him his leadership role in the state legislature’s Jewish caucus. He has also clashed over the years with anti-Zionist Jews, saying in 2024 that the anti-Zionist group Jewish Voice for Peace served to “give tokenistic cover to people who make antisemitic statements.”
Wiener was harassed by protesters criticizing his positions on Israel and Gaza at the San Francisco Trans March in June. He said the protesters forced him to leave the event and called their confrontation “antisemitic.”
Some local Jews urged their community to support him. Arthur Slepian and Jan Reicher, the current and former presidents of the Jewish Community Relations Council Bay Area, said that Wiener “did not abandon his commitment to Jewish security, Jewish education or the physical safety of Jewish institutions” in an op-ed in J, The Jewish News of Northern California. They argued that Chan represented a greater threat, saying her supporters “have undermined Jewish safety and seek Israel’s outright destruction.”
Wiener was backed by J Street, the liberal pro-Israel advocacy group, whose independent expenditure arm, J Street Action Fund, announced a $60,000 ad campaign vfor him in the primary.
Chan was supported by JVP and the Bay Area chapter of IfNotNow, another left-wing Jewish group. She also received an endorsement from Pelosi, despite the former House speaker’s more moderate politics and longtime support for Israel.
This article originally appeared on JTA.org.
The post Wiener to hold Pelosi’s House seat after race in which both candidates attacked Israel appeared first on The Forward.
