By MYRON LOVE Rabbi Shawn Zell’s newest publication, “Meaningful Mourning: Reflecting on the Life and Death of a Loved One,” is a thought-provoking and comprehesive contemplation of dealing with the process of grieving. In essence, “Meaningful Mourning” is a follow up to the former Winnipegger’s earlier book, “For Those Who Grieve,” which was published three years ago.
In an earlier interview with the Jewish Post regarding “For Those Who Grieve,”, Rabbi Zell noted that “one of the greatest frustrations when it comes to a shivah house is that, all too often, the atmosphere leaves much to be desired” – with people telling jokes, catching up on gossip and generally avoiding the subject of death and dying rather than rather than “sharing words of comfort and reflection and anecdotes and recollections of the deceased.”
“For Those Who Grieve,” he continues, aims to replace “tired and worn” readings in current shivah books with his own compositions which, he hopes, will give readers “new food for thought” that may “serve as a source of comfort to the bereaved and render the atmosphere of the shivah house more meaningful.”
‘What compelled me to write Meaningful Mourning”, Rabbi Zell says, “is to offer suggestions that may help clergy as well as others are uncomfortable dealing with.” 
He cites, as an example, the funeral of a mentally-handicapped individual in our community roughly 50 years ago where Rabbi Peretz Weizman officiated.  The individual was hit by a bus.
“I still recall Rabbi Weizman’s well-thought out words  that the deceased had a tragic life and died a tragic death.” 
Rabbi Zell also spoke of a more recent funeral at which he officiated where the widow was very angry that her husband had died.  “The deceased had become involved in a dispute with the city over some property. His wife was adamant that he not try to fight city hall. He persisted and died of a heart attack.  I tried to focus on appreciation of his life.”
In the introduction to “Meaningful Mourning,” he notes that “rifts in families are not uncommon. But how many readings in our canon broach such subjects?” he asks.
“And,” he continues, while Judaism makes it quite clear that you should choose life over death, there are occasions when one gives up one’s life to protect others.”
“Meaningful Mourning” consists of 15 chapters, each with a specific theme and each divided into a series of two-page readings – consisting of an exposition of how each day of the week, each month of the year, every Jewish festival, can provide comfort to mourners. Each reading also consists of a relevant poem and psalm.
In the first chapter, for example – which focuses on the daily order of creation, one comment in particular caught my attention – and made me think:  When someone I  know died suddenly, I sometimes wonder what that individual had planned for the rest of the day, what celebrations were coming up, what trip might the deceased have been  looking forward to? 
I recall one fellow coming to the evening minyans at my shul to say kaddish for his brother.  Then, one day, he didn’t appear.  I subsequently heard that he had developed an infection and died unexpectedly.  I remember thinking that he wasn’t supposed to die. He still had several months left to say kaddish.
As Zell points out in “Meaningful Mourning,” “unlike the creation process, death does not necessarily wait for the deceased to complete everything he hoped to accomplish.  In many cases, death has been compared to an unfinished symphony.
“From the Jewish perspective, the Angel of Death has little, if any, regard for projects yet to be completed, plans yet to be realized and dreams yet to be fulfilled.”
Another reading speaks of the signs of the zodiac and their connections to the equivalent Jewish months.  “The sign for the month of Shvat is Aquarius, the water carrier,” Zell observes.  “In Judaism, water is prayed for because water is seen as a blessing.  But what happens when the natural flow of water is interrupted?  How do we respond when tranquil water is usurped by troubled or turbulent water i.e., death?
“In a perfect world, the mourner would find solace in believing that he enriched with happiness and joy the one who was summoned from above.”
The accompanying reading with this topic is a poem intended to bring some comfort for mourners who are overcome with remorse or regret.
 In “One Small Step,” Zell riffs on the immortal words of astronaut Neil Armstrong, the first man to step foot on the moon.  “Little did Neil Armstrong realize that he was echoing the words of many a religious leader counselling a bereaved individual,” the rabbi comments.  “Mourning that is proper and effective is a process of small steps and giant leaps.”
A leap of faith is necessary for several reasons, Zell adds, most of all so that the mourner is not consumed by pangs of guilt for not having been a better child, sibling or spouse. He quotes Ecclesiastes in saying that “when the dead is at rest, let his remembrance rest.”
“I hope that the readings in this book help to lessen the pain for the bereaved,” he writes.   
 Zell, who was formerly the spiritual leader of Congregation Tiferet Israel in Dallas, grew up in Winnipeg. The son of the late Ida and Phil Zell was initially ordained as a Conservative rabbi in the mid-1980s. He served in pulpits in that capacity in Sioux City, Iowa, and Clark, New Jersey. In 2004-2006 – while between congregations, he received his Orthodox smicha.  He currently lives in retirement in New Jersey..
“Meaningful Mourning” is his fourth book – and his third focusing on different aspects of death and mourning.  The book was published by Scribal Scion Publishers out of Teaneck, New Jersey.