Local News
Chesed Shel Emes panel delves into different aspects of death and dying
By MYRON LOVE They say there are two things you can count on in life – death and taxes. I don’t know about taxes – but no one escapes death.
When we are younger, few give much thought to dying. As we age though, we come ever closer to that final reality. The best we can hope for – in my view – is to live to a relatively old age in relatively good health and pass away quickly – preferably in your sleep.
So what would one consider a “good death?” That was one of the questions that was discussed by a panel of three experts on the subject who appeared together on Sunday, November 24, in a program at the Chesed Shel Emes titled: “The Last Stop – Reflections on Living and Dying”.
(The Chesed Shel Emes is our community’s non-profit Jewish funeral chapel; the only one of its kind in North America).
About 180 people were in attendance – both in person and online, as independent Rabbi Matthew Leibl, palliative care specialist Dr. Bruce Martin, and Dr. Harvey Max Chochinov, a psychiatrist who is one of the world’s authorities on the subject of the emotional aspects surrounding death and dying, shared their experiences and perspectives. Alison Gilmur, popular culture and lifestyles reporter for the Free Press. served as the moderator.
A “good death” – as opposed to a “bad death” – is important for patients and families alike, Chochinov noted.
“Is dying in your sleep a good death?” Rabbi Leibl asked. “That depends on both the individual and the family. It certainly doesn’t give the individual much time to think about it beforehand. I think the major concern for most people is that death be as painless as possible.”
“The problem is that you only die once,” Chochinov pointed out. “There is no rehearsal. Many fear the unknown. And you don’t know what the path will be, what it will be like for you. Or if you will still be you afterward.”
Gilmour asked the panelists what people fear most about dying? Chochinov cited the case of one woman who refused to take her medication because she feared it would make her confused – the way it had her mother prior to her death. Reassuring her that she was in capable hands allowed her to accept proper pain management and die peacefully.
Another anecdote from Chochinov concerned the case of a young woman who was facing death – with a young family and a young child at hand. “She was concerned that her little girl would have no memory of her,” Chochinov noted. “We completed something called Dignity Therapy, which allowed her to create a written legacy that would eventually be shared with her child.”
Rabbi Leibl referred to a member of the Shaarey Zedek who had been suffering for some time. She chose to die at home but, before her passing, she asked her children to leave the room. She and the rabbi talked.
“I asked if she was afraid,” he recalled. “She said that she wasn’t afraid, but that she worried that she would never see her family again.”
Dr. Martin noted that every death is personal. “There is no common thread,’ he said. “A last conversation can be profound or trivial.
“One concern for the dying is not being able to live to see their grandchildren grow up and the shared moments they will miss.”
Chochinov also added that some people are worried about the process of dying and what it may be like. “While dying is inevitable, suffering ought not to be”.
Gilmour asked what people can do to help comfort someone who is dying?
Chochinov’s answer was simple: “Be sure to show up”. “When you know someone is dying,” he noted, “for many the impulse is to stay away, to withdraw. You don’t know what to say,” he observed. “Don’t try to fix what can’t be fixed. But do show up and listen.”
Martin recalled a former mentor who suggested that the most important question that someone who is visiting someone who is terminally ill is: ‘What can you do to help?’ “
“People who are dying don’t need to be reminded about it,” Rabbi Leibl observed. “Although every case is different, a visitor should talk to the afflicted individual the same way you would talk to anyone else. You can talk about life, for example, or what you are reading, or a show you are watching together.”
Gilmour concluded her questioning by bringing up the issue of government-approved Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID) – medically assisted suicide.
A number of liberal rabbis Are in favour of MAID, Rabbi Leibl noted. “Judaism however dictates that we must do everything we can to prevent death,” he pointed out.
“I have officiated at funerals for a few people who have chosen IAID,” he reported. “One such funeral was for a Holocaust survivor – in her 90s. I spoke with her the day before she died. She was at peace. I viewed what she was doing as courageous.”
Chochinov said it is also important to look at factors that can undermine a patient’s will to live, such as poorly controlled pain, limited access to palliative care and lack of supports, including respite.“MAID is driven by a desire for personal autonomy,” he observed. “It was originally designed as an option for patients who were suffering and facing a reasonably foreseeable death.” Eligibility criteria have been expanded, making patients not imminently dying, but suffering, able to request MAiD.He expressed grave concerns about extending MAiD for people who are mentally ill. “We simply can’t know which of these patients might improve with adequate time, support and care.”
In response to a later follow-up question from a member from the audience, Bruce Martin added that, in the case of people with dementia and MAID, the latter may prevent children and grandchildren from spending more time with the parent/ grandparent. After all, who then decides when the time is right?
The panelists were asked about talking about death and dying and how to cope. Martin noted that when he speaks to kids in schools, there is a lot of interest in the subject.
A question about planned giving elicited a comment from Chochinov about the importance of not only leaving a will, but letting family know what your wishes are. “It’s never too early to talk about these things”, he said, “but if you put it off long enough, there may come a time when it’s too late”.
Local News
Richard Morantz and Sheree Walder contribute $1 million to ongoing Shaarey Zedek Synagogue Capital Campaign
By MYRON LOVE “We really welcome the decision of Richard Morantz and Sheree Walder to donate $1-million to our ongoing capital campaign,” said Rena Secter Elbaze, the Shaarey Zedek Synagogue’s executive director, on October 9. “They and their families have a long history of supporting our community organizations and the State of Israel. Their contribution to the Shaarey Zedek is inspirational.”
The husband and wife team officially presented the cheque to Elbaze at a brief ceremony at the synagogue the morning of October 9, in the newly renamed Richard Morantz and Sheree Walder Auditorium.
In their remarks, both Morantz, the president and CEO of Globe Property Management, and Walder, a lawyer who is a former partner in the law firm Myers LLP, spoke of their long family connection to the Shaarey Zedek. “My mother’s family were Jewish pioneers in Winnipeg,” Walder noted. “My great-grandfather, Samuel Cohen, for whom I am named, was an original member of Shaarey Zedek Synagogue. I started coming here with my own grandfather, Sidney Cohen, when I was about two years old. I remember exactly which pew we sat in and how my grandfather helped me to follow along in the siddur during services. Shaarey Zedek has always been a place of great comfort for me.”
Morantz added that his own bar mitzvah took place at Shaarey Zedek Synagogue on April 29, 1972. “I learned my maftir from the legendary Rabbi Berkal,” he recalled. “We continued to celebrate here with our own children’s bar and bat mitzvahs. I am very grateful that we got to watch our own children shine on the bimah.”
It was the Hamas-led assault on Israel and subsequent tsunami of antisemitism worldwide that prompted the couple to consider stepping up and contributing to the Shaaray Zedek campaign in such a magnanimous way.
“I have never been a religious person,” Morantz remarked. “While I may be more secular, I strongly believe in the traditions of Judaism. I had a charmed upbringing in the 60s and 70s in River Heights. It is not the case that I experienced no antisemitism, but those experiences were very minimal. Post-October 7th, I found myself, for the first time in my life, having to judge every situation and every person I came across before divulging the fact that I am Jewish or discussing Israel. I came to the realization, during the process of considering this donation, that a primary driver for us is that this synagogue is a safe place for Jews, where we can comfortably be ourselves.”
Walder pointed out that while her mother’s large family were Jewish pioneers, her father was a Romanian Holocaust survivor, with almost no family after the war. “Family matters a great deal to us,” she said. “In addition to strongly agreeing with Richard that the tragedy of October 7th and continuing and growing anti Semitism are big drivers for us in making this donation, we also want to see Shaarey Zedek be a safe and special part of the lives of our now adult children and the generations that will follow them. It is very fulfilling to us that we are contributing to making that happen.”
Walder further credits the encouragement of her old friend and law school classmate, Neil Duboff, for helping to clinch the decision for her and her husband to make the donation. “Neil has worked so hard for the synagogue and our community for so many years and we applaud his efforts and commitment,” she noted.
(Duboff is a past president of the Shaarey Zedek and chaired the capital campaign.)
Walder also mentioned the support of Gail Asper in making the decision. “I met Gail on our first day of law school in 1981,” she recalled, “and we have been very close ever since. While we can all agree that Gail certainly knows how to talk, she also really knows how to listen. Through all of our discussions with her about making this donation, she listened hard, she came up with solid answers, and she was instrumental in leading us to the decision to donate. Shaarey Zedek is extremely lucky to have such a talented fundraiser.”
“We have to make special mention of Rena Secter Elbaze,” Morantz noted. “Rena literally blew me away when I met her for a tour of the synagogue. Her passion and knowledge are remarkable. We believe that our synagogue is in great hands and we feel much comfort and confidence making this donation.
“We are very proud of the recent renovations and upgrades to the synagogue,” he added. “This place is absolutely beautiful. We also feel privileged to have met with Rabbi Carnie Rose. We know he will be a great asset to the synagogue and all of its members for a long time to come.
“We are so honoured to be here with you today and to feel that we are making a difference to this special place”.
He concluded his remarks with an observation by Elie Wiesel that “a synagogue is a house of memory as well as a house of prayer. It reminds us of who we are and where we come from.”
Local News
Winnipegger Charlotte Kittner traces ancestry back to the Jewish expulsion from Spain
By MYRON LOVE Ladino was long the spoken language of the Jews from the Iberian peninsula and North Africa just as Yiddish was the day to day language of the Jews of Eastern Europe. Charlotte Kittner is most likely the only Winnipegger – and one of the few left in the world – who still speaks Ladino.
But Ladino is just one of eight languages that Kittner, who turned 100 in August, can speak – the others being Bulgarian, Romanian, Czech, Spanish, French, Hebrew, Turkish and English.
Charlette (Sarlota) Kittner was born in Bulgaria – in a Jewish community whose members were largely descended from the Jews who were forced out of Spain in 1492 (and Portugal a few years later) by the Spanish expulsion.
A few days after her birth, that part of Bulgaria became part of Romania. She was so small at birth, she recounts, that the doctor had little hope she would survive more than a few years. She slept in a drawer of a chiffonier lined with many layers of cotton for the first year.
The youngest of three sisters, she recalls growing up comfortably in a warm and observant community. Her father, Avram, who operated a textile factor, attended synagogue on Shabbat and all the Yom Tovim.
The family – along with all the other Jewish families in Romania, fell on hard times with the advent of World War II. Although Romania was an ally of Nazi Germany and was never occupied, members of the Romanian Iron Guard – the local equivalent of the Nazis – could be just as sadistic and murderous as their German counterparts. Although most Romanian Jews outside of Bucharest were murdered, those living in the capital city, while facing much discrimination and many restrictions – were spared internment and deportation.
Kittner notes that mother, Minduch, died in 1945 and she lost her father in 1946.
During the war Charlotte and her sister, Lisa, were assigned to a factory making linens and garments for the Nazis.
She recalls that life was tough after liberation and continued to be difficult after the coming of Communism in immediate post-war Romania.
After the war, Kittner trained as an accountant and found work with a large manufacturer. That is where she met her husband, Mike (Misu) Kittner. They were married in Bucharest in November,1952.
Kittner’s sisters, Suzanna and Lisa, both made aliyah after the war. Charlotte and Mike followed in 1964. They lived in Israel for three years. Charlotte quickly learned Hebrew and found work as an accountant.
But life in Israel was difficult economically in those days. Mike’s brothers, Fred and Serge, had previously settled in Winnipeg and encouraged Mike and Charlotte to join them. They did – in May 1967.
The next year, Chralotte’s sister Lisa and husband, Nick, also moved to Winnipeg.
Their other sister, Suzanna, and her husband, Selu, a well known painter, remained in Israel.
Over the years, Kittner has visited Israel – where she has numerous nephews, nieces and cousins – as well as having taken trips back to Romania and to other European countries.
Once in Winnipeg, she and Mike quickly found work in the garment industry. She was first hired as a bookkeeper by Stall and Son. After a short time she moved over to Silpit Industries, where she served as chief accountant for many years. Kittner has favourable memories of her boss, the late community leader Harry Silverberg. She later worked for another Silverberg firm, Brown and Rutherford, a lumber processing operation.
Mike only worked in the garment industry for a short time. He found his niche in insurance sales – where he excelled. He also founded Broadway Agencies and became a booking agent for budding new performing artists in Europe whom he brought to Winnipeg to appear in popular local night clubs.
Mike and Charlotte’s nephew, Brad Kittner, recalls as a youngster going with his
parents, aunts and uncles to those clubs and watching what he describes as “these fabulous singers.” He says that they inspired him to pursue his own successful career as a karaoke singer and performer for hire.
Charlotte and Mike first lived in East Kildonan for a year, then moved to Partridge Avenue in West Kildonan. A few years later, they bought a new house on Drimes Place, north of Templeton, in northwest Winnipeg.
While Mike Kittner passed away in 1991, Charlotte continued to work into her 70s.
Through the years, she has led a busy social life with family and friends. As Brad Kittner notes, even at 100, “Aunt Charlotte continues hosting friends and family for full course meals and gatherings at her place.”
Charlotte celebrated her hundredth birthday with more than 20 relatives and friends at the Ichiban Restaurant.
Although hard of hearing and somewhat frail of body, her mind remains relatively clear. She still enjoys reading fiction, doing crosswords and looking forward to her weekly card games with her sister-in-law, Sylvia, who also lives at Chateau West on Jefferson, and other friends.
May she live to 120!
Local News
Over 2000 supporters turned out for walk for Israel despite overcast skies, rain
By MYRON LOVE October 5 started out overcast and rainy. The rain – which fortunately stopped just before the Walk for Israel began – didn’t prevent over 2,000 supporters of Israel – both members of our Jewish community and those from outside of our community from turning out for the second annual Walk for Israel commemorating the horrific events of October 7 – two years ago – the darkest day in post-Holocaust Jewish history
As with last year, the 45-minute walk began and ended at the Asper Campus. While last year the walk was followed by speeches from community leaders and various politicians, this year the only speaker was Paula Parks, President of the Jewish Federation of Winnipeg, who pointed out that the ongoing anti-Israel and antisemitic demonstrations- post October 7- have strengthened the bonds within our community and spurred more people to affiliate with our communal organizations. She further noted that more of us are speaking out and we need to continue to do that.
“The number of people who participated was inspirational,” says Gustavo Zentner, the representative for Manitoba and Saskatchewan for the Centre for Israel and Jewish Affairs. “We had numerous allies as well as members of our Jewish community. We had people from all walks of life.”
“We had a fantastic turnout,” added Jeff Lieberman, the Jewish Federation of Winnipeg’s CEO. “Paula spoke very well. Her comments were meaningful.”
He expressed his hope that the hostages would be released very soon, the war would be ended, and Israelis can finally live in peace.
The commemoration’s focus this year was primarily on visual images rather than words. The walk featured a number of photos taken by local members of the Winnipeg Jewish community who visited the Nova site in person or attended the Nova exhibit that travelled to various parts of Canada and the United States. The photos were displayed for the day along the fence on Doncaster Avenue – the first stage of the walk. Participants were handed Israeli flags and kalaniot (red anemones) flowers, the official flower of Israel, and were encouraged to place them around the photos on the fence.
As well, as part of the October 7 commemoration, 33 paintings depicting some of those taken hostage on October 7 were put on display along Main Street of the Campus from the week of October 3-October 10. The paintings were the work of well-known Israeli illustrator, cartoonist, humourist, performance artist and political activist, Zeev Engelmayer.
The walk on October 5 concluded with Israeli shimshinim – Israeli youth representatives here in Winnipeg from Israel – and other young people from our community reciting a prayer for the hostages (who were finally freed last week), and members of the IDF, followed by the singing of “O Canada” and “Hatikvah.”