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A Complicated Pesach
By ORLY DREMAN We marked a Leil Seder but there was no happiness.
We left an empty chair with a yellow ribbon and I cried as I read the prayer for the hostages- that G-D should have mercy on the few who are still alive and to those who are not among the living that they should at least have the right to be buried in their land.
How can we talk about the holiday of freedom, about redemption and being free? Our hearts ache. Two hundred days with no freedom. Even Hollywood could not come up with a more terrifying script. Our hearts are embedded in Gaza.
Every Israeli recognizes the photos and the names of the hostages. Everyone is praying and expecting them to return. Their families want to embrace them and we want to see them back home. Soldiers who come back from reserves cry that they have not succeeded in returning them. Roommates of students who were kidnapped still keep their rooms for them. Birthday presents are kept for them, their friends keep their favorite university library chair awaiting their return. Children draw pictures for their fathers who are held in captivity.
The adult hostages who returned half a year ago describe how they were in the tunnels suffocating with no air while the terrorists were residing above them in their homes and the hostages were begging for oxygen. Once in three days they got a little water with half a dry pita. Today, those who returned have not recovered, they are thankful for every breath they inhale and are so grateful for every glass of water and food. The children who were released and initially came back happy – with time have to process what has happened. Some have lost family members, some still have relatives in Gaza. They lost friends, they lost their homes and are still residing in hotels in the center of the country- whole families in a twenty square meter room.
In the past the psychologists took care of teenagers who were anxious and depressed. Now however, they have to take care of children as young as eight year olds. People feel they have lost control of their lives. Everything we viewed as “safe” has been shattered. Millions of Israelis are or will be in need of psychological treatment and mental health services will require more psychologists. The pressure and the loss affects all parts of society and we still do not know if the worst is behind us. Many families do not want to return to the south or to the north when the time will come and it is possible the damages are irreversible. Hizballah in the north is much stronger and better equipped than Hamas. The country has shrunk towards the center. We as a nation are used to short, victorious wars, but we have been fighting on several fronts for seven months.
In three weeks we will mark Independence Day. On this day we have the ceremony of the “Israeli Prize”. This year one of the prizes goes to the Director of the National Pathologic Institute- for civil bravery. At the beginning of October the institute was swamped with 1500 body bags. They were unidentifiable. Nowhere in the world were there so many bodies that had to be identified and so quickly. There was never a catastrophic event of that magnitude without a list of people who were there.
At the Twin Towers 2,700 people died, but only 1,680 were identified. In Israel only 11 people are still unaccounted for. Bodies and body parts were burned, tortured, beheaded and often only remnants of body parts were left -scenes reminiscent of Auschwitz. Just last week a family found out their son was buried beheaded. The authorities did not want to cause additional grief to the family so they buried him with a head of a doll until the family demanded to open the grave.
The night we were attacked by over 330 missiles from Iran we were very proud of our defense forces, which downed 99 percent of them. This will be remembered and taught for generations to come in military academies. Seventy five percent success is due to the Israeli air force and our protective systems. Israel owes considerable thanks for the remaining 24 percent to the coalition formed by the U.S, England, France and other countries in the region.
That night, our intelligence was great – together with our active military system. We personally witnessed this success through the booms of intercepted missiles while sitting in our shelters. Of course the danger from Iran is a thousand times greater than that transpiring in Gaza. In most countries people would probably stay home for some days to recover, but here we go through dozens of events in a few months but – being a resilient nation, we managed to get back to almost a normal routine very quickly in spite of the traumatic events.
Personally, my grandchildren tell me they are not able to distinguish between the sound of an ambulance siren and that of an air raid siren, so they are afraid they will not know when to run to the shelter. To illustrate how precarious life is in Israel – when we participate in daily activities such as going to a shopping mall, which is not a safe place because it is crowded, we do not stop for ice cream because of the fear of being attacked.
On another level, our political perspective has changed immensely. For example, there is the issue of the orthodox (Haredi) community, who refuse to serve in the army. In the past we could afford to accept their refusal and they were exempt from conscription in order to study Torah. This present, elongated war and the losses demand a large increase in the size of the IDF. The army is offering adjustments to create small Orthodox regiments along the borders where they can keep their order of the day- pray and protect. However, they still refuse to help us with this burden.
Today, our democracy is severely in need of a new leadership which places its citizens and its country before politics. To date, our leaders have been making empty promises to us. They refuse to plan for the future of how Gaza will be governed when the war is over. They promise us “complete victory,” which now we understand is nonsense and the threat is still there. For the government – as long as the war is going on, they think they can avoid new elections, they are only interested in their political survival. We feel like orphans with no responsible adult.
Even though we are hurting today, l believe in our resilience and better days will come.
Features
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Features
Why People in Israel Can Get Emotionally Attached to AI—and How to Keep It Healthy
Let’s start with the uncomfortable truth that’s also kind of relieving: getting emotionally attached to a Joi.com AI isn’t “weird.” It’s human. Our brains are attachment machines. Give us a voice that feels warm, consistent, and attentive—especially one that shows up on demand—and our nervous system goes, “Oh. Safety. Connection.” Even if the rational part of you knows it’s software, the emotional part responds to the experience.
Now, if we’re talking about Jewish people in Israel specifically, it’s worth saying this carefully: there isn’t one “Jewish Israeli psychology.” People differ wildly by age, religiosity, community, language, politics, relationship status, and life history. But there are some real-life conditions common in Israel—high tech adoption, a fast-paced social environment, chronic background stress for many, and strong cultural emphasis on connection—that can make AI companionship feel especially appealing for some individuals. Not because of religion or ethnicity as a trait, but because of context and pressure.
So if you’ve noticed yourself—or someone you know—getting attached to an AI companion, the goal isn’t to panic or label it as unhealthy by default. The goal is to understand why it feels good and make sure it stays supportive rather than consuming.
Why attachment happens so fast (the psychology in plain language)
Attachment isn’t just about romance. It’s about regulation. When you feel seen, your body calms down. When you feel ignored, your body gets edgy. AI companions can offer something that’s rare in real life: consistent responsiveness. No scheduling. No misunderstandings (most of the time). No “I’m too tired to talk.” Just a steady stream of attention.
From an attachment perspective, that steadiness can act like a soft emotional “hug.” For someone with anxious attachment, it can feel like relief: finally, a connection that doesn’t disappear. For someone with avoidant tendencies, it can feel safe because it’s intimacy without the risk of being overwhelmed by a real person’s needs. For someone simply lonely or stressed, it can feel like a quiet exhale.
And unlike human relationships, AI won’t judge your worst timing. You can message at 2:00 a.m., when your thoughts are loud and the apartment is silent, and you’ll still get an answer that sounds caring. That alone is powerful.
Why it can feel especially relevant in Israel (for some people)
Israel is a small country with a big emotional load for many people—again, not universally, but often enough that it shapes daily life. A lot of people live with a background hum of stress, whether it’s personal, economic, or tied to the broader environment. When life feels intense, the appeal of a stable, gentle interaction grows. Not because you’re fragile—because you’re tired.
Add a few more very normal realities:
High tech comfort is cultural. Israel has a strong tech culture. People are used to tools that solve problems quickly. If you’re already comfortable with digital solutions, trying an AI companion doesn’t feel like a strange leap.
Time is tight. Between work, family responsibilities, reserve duty for some, long commutes, or simply the pace of urban life, many people don’t have the energy for long, messy social processes. AI can feel like connection without the logistics.
Social circles can be both close and complicated. Israeli society can be community-oriented, which is beautiful—until it’s also intense. In tight-knit circles, dating and relationships sometimes come with social pressure, opinions, and “everyone knows everyone.” A private AI chat can feel like a relief: no gossip, no explanations, no performance.
Language and identity complexity. Many Jewish Israelis move between languages and cultures (Hebrew, Russian, English, French, Amharic, Arabic for some). AI chat can become a low-stakes space to express yourself in the language you feel most “you” in—without feeling judged for accent, vocabulary, or code-switching.
None of this means “Israelis are more likely” in any absolute sense. It means there are situational reasons why AI companionship can feel particularly soothing or convenient for some people living there.
The good side: when AI attachment is healthy
Emotional attachment isn’t automatically a problem. Sometimes it’s simply a sign that something is working: you feel supported. You feel calmer. You’re expressing yourself more. You’re practicing communication instead of shutting down. You’re less likely to make impulsive choices from loneliness.
Healthy use often looks like:
You feel better after chatting, not worse.
You can still enjoy your real life—friends, work, hobbies, family.
You don’t hide it in shame; you just treat it like a tool or pastime.
You use the AI to practice skills you bring into real relationships: clarity, boundaries, confidence, emotional regulation.
In that version, AI companionship is closer to journaling with feedback, or a comforting ritual—like a cup of tea at the end of the day, not a replacement for dinner.
Where it can slip into unhealthy territory (quietly)
The danger isn’t “having feelings.” The danger is outsourcing your emotional world to something that will never truly share responsibility.
Warning signs usually look like:
You cancel plans with humans because the AI feels easier.
You feel anxious when you’re not chatting, like you’re missing something.
You start needing the AI to reassure you constantly.
Your standards for human relationships collapse (“Humans are too complicated, AI is enough”).
You feel a “crash” after chatting—more lonely, more restless, more disconnected.
The biggest red flag is when the AI becomes your only reliable source of comfort. That’s not because AI is evil. It’s because any single source of emotional regulation—human or non-human—can become a dependency.
How to keep it healthy (without killing the fun)
Here’s the approach that works best: don’t ban it, contain it.
Give it a role.
Decide what the AI is for in your life: playful flirting, stress relief, practicing communication, roleplay, bedtime decompression. A defined role prevents the relationship from becoming vague and all-consuming.
Set a “time container.”
Not as punishment—just as hygiene. For example: 20 minutes at night, or during commute time, or only on certain days. Ending while you still feel good is the secret. Don’t chat until you feel hollow.
Keep one human anchor active.
A friend you text, a weekly family dinner, a class, a gym routine, a community event—something that keeps your real social muscles moving. In Israel, community can be a huge protective factor when it’s supportive. Use it.
Use consent and boundary language even with AI.
It sounds odd, but it trains your brain in healthy dynamics:
“Slow down. Keep it playful, not intense.”
“No jealousy talk. I don’t like that vibe.”
“Tonight I want comfort, not advice.”
If you can do that with an AI, you’ll be better at doing it with humans.
Watch the “replacement” impulse.
If you catch yourself thinking, “I don’t need anyone else,” pause and ask: is that empowerment—or is it avoidance? Sometimes it’s a protective story your brain tells when it’s tired of disappointment.
Check in with your body after.
Not your thoughts—your body. Calm? Lighter? More grounded? Good sign. Agitated? Empty? Restless? Time to adjust.
And if you’re noticing that AI use is feeding anxiety, sleep problems, isolation, or obsessive thinking, it may help to talk to a mental health professional—especially someone who understands attachment patterns. That’s not a dramatic step. It’s basic self-care.
People in Israel—Jewish Israelis included—can get attached to AI for the same reason people everywhere do: it offers consistent attention in an inconsistent world. Add the local realities of stress, pace, and social complexity, and it can feel even more comforting for some individuals. The healthiest path isn’t to judge yourself for it. It’s to use it intentionally, keep your human life active, and treat the AI as a supportive tool—not the center of your emotional universe.
Features
Three generations of Wernicks all chose to become rabbis
By GERRY POSNER Recently I was at a Shabbat service at Beth Tzedec Synagogue in Toronto and the day unfolded in some unexpected ways for me.
It began when I was asked to be a Gabbai for the service, that is to stand up at the table where the Torah is placed and to check the Torah reading to make sure there are no errors. I have done this before and it has always gone smoothly. I attribute that fact in large part to the Torah reading ability of the reader at Beth Synagogue. He is fast, fluent and flawless. Well, on this particular day after he had completed the first two portions, he began the shlishi or third aliyah. I could not find his reading anywhere. It was as if he had started somewhere fresh, but not where he was supposed to be. I looked at the other Gabbai and he did not seem to recognize what had happened either. So, I let it go. I had no idea where the Torah reader was. He then did another and still I was lost. He came to what was the 6th aliyah when a clergy member walked over to him and indicated to him that he had read the fourth and fifth aliyah, but that he had missed the third one. The Torah reader then said to me “this is what you are here for.” Now, it might have been one thing if I had missed it entirely. Alas, I saw the error, but let it go as I deferred to the Torah reader since he never makes a mistake. He ended up going back to do the third aliyah before continuing on. This was a very unusual event in the synagogue. I felt responsible in large part for this gaffe. A lesson learned.
The feeling of embarrassment was compounded by the fact that on this particular day the service was highlighted, at least for me, because of the rabbi delivering the sermon. This rabbi, Eugene Wernick, was none other than the father of my present rabbi, Steven Wernick of Beth Tzedec Synagogue. He was also the same rabbi who was the rabbi at Shaarey Zedek between 1979-1986 and who had officiated at my father’s funeral in 1981, also a few years later at my oldest son’s Bar Mitzvah in Winnipeg in 1984. As I listened to him speak, I was taken back to the 1980s, when Rabbi Gene was in the pulpit at Shaarey Zedek. Of course, he is older now than in his Shaarey Zedek days, but the power of his voice was unchanged. If anything, it’s even stronger. As in the past, his message was relevant to all of us and resonated well. Listening to him was a treat for me. Still, my regret in not calling out the mistake from the Torah reading was compounded by the fact that I messed up in front of my former rabbi, Eugene Wernick – never mind my present rabbi, Steven Werinck.
On this Shabbat morning, aside from all the other people present, there were not only the two Rabbis Wernick, but one Michelle Wernick was also there. Michelle, daughter of Rabbi Steven Wernick, is a first year student at the Jewish Theological Seminary. She is following in the family business – much like with the Rose rabbinical family in Winnipeg.
As it turned out, there was a Bat Mitzvah that day. And the Bat Mitzvah family had a very real Winnipeg connection as in the former Leah Potash, mother of the Bat Mitzvah girl, Emmie Bank and the daughter of Reuben and Gail Potash (Thau). It occurred to me that there might be a few Winnipeg people in the crowd. As I scanned the first few rows, I was not disappointed. Sitting there was none other than Chana Thau and her husband Michael Eleff. I managed to have a chat with Chana (even during the Musaf service). In the row right behind Chana and Michael was a face I had not seen in close to sixty years. I refer to Allan Berkal, the eldest son of the former rabbi and chazan at Shaarey Zedek, Louis Berkal. I still remember the first time I met Allan at Hebrew School in 1954 when his family moved to Winnipeg from Grand Forks, North Dakota. That was many maftirs ago. So this was another highlight moment for me.
Of course, there are other Winnipeggers who attend Beth Tzedec most Shabbats. I speak of Morley Goldberg and his wife, the former Marcia Billinkoff Schnoor. As well, Bernie Rubenstein and his wife, the former Sheila Levene were also present for this particular Shabbat. In all, this Shabbat had a particularly Winnipeg flavour to it. Truth be told, you do not have to go far in Toronto at any synagogue and the Winnipeg connections emerge.