Features
Do no harm: A reminder to therapists
For over 35 years I have treated thousands of men and women of all ages and stages in life. They have come from different socioeconomic, religious and cultural backgrounds, seeking help for problems including depression, anxiety, early child sexual abuse, domestic abuse, substance abuse of various kinds and sexual and relationship issues.
The majority of my patients typically contact me asking for individual therapy. Since we don’t live in a bubble, people’s relationships, beginning with their own families of origin and significant others – including friends, lovers, colleagues and spouses, need to be fully explored. This step is critical in understanding the possible ‘root causes’ of the underlying problem(s).
People can naturally only describe their own ‘truths’ and experiences. That’s why it is important for the therapist to encourage the patient to have various family members participate in the therapy (as long as the patient feels safe to do so)— particularly when a patient’s presenting problem and chief complaint is specifically about these very important people in their life.
Although it is not always possible to do this in every situation, experience has taught me that we, as therapists, can do enormous harm to the very people that we are committed to helping, when we are unable or unwilling to obtain as complete a picture as possible. I have seen too may families and relationships destroyed, suffering irrevocable damage and pain as a result of therapists not willing to do their do diligence and be open to hearing ‘the rest of the story’.
ROBERT AND AMANDA
I recently received a phone call from Robert, 38, a very successful and well-known Southampton attorney. He told me that he and his new wife, Amanda, had been married for just one year and that the marriage was in serious trouble. His wife was initially reluctant to accompany him to an appointment. A few weeks later he called and said that they were finally both ready to come in and see me.
THE INITIAL COUPLES SESSION
Robert and Amanda (both never previously married), met on Tinder just prior to the pandemic. As a result, they had not been able to spend very much in person, face to face time together. They emailed, texted and sexted for over a year and became engaged within a few months after things began to open up. They shared a love of tennis, running, and travel, and both talked about their desire to have a child some day. We spent most of the initial session talking about how Robert’s family did not care for Amanda and were opposed to the marriage. Amanda’s feelings of rejection, disappointment and anger dominated our session. She felt that Robert did not support her and was simply too enmeshed with his family. Robert said very little, but made it very clear that Amanda was over-reacting, invalidating her feelings about how badly his family treated her. The fact that Robert did not protect his wife from his family’s hurtful and disrespectful behavior was one issue that we would definitely be tackling in our couples sessions.
MY MEETING WITH ROBERT ALONE
After the initial couples evaluation, (oftentimes lasting several hours), I always meet with the individuals alone. This enables me to really get to know who the people are as individuals, including finding out about their own family histories, dating relationships, abuse of any kind, psychiatric histories, affairs, etc. I often learn things in these individual sessions that may never be disclosed in a couples session.
Robert told me that Amanda regularly throws temper tantrums when she is upset, including hitting him, destroying property and threatening to commit suicide. These ‘scenes’ are followed by a period of calm – including apologies and promises to ‘never do it again’. Robert told me that there were several recent episodes where he felt that he should contact the police and have Amanda admitted to a psychiatric hospital. He acknowledged that he really didn’t know her when they decided to get married and that his own individual therapist had been deeply concerned that she had major unresolved psychiatric problems. He now realizes that their love of the outdoors and travel were not sufficient reasons to have gotten married. He has discussed all of this with his family. I now understand why his family had been so worried about Robert and why they have not embraced Amanda.
Robert also confided that since being with Amanda, he regularly suffers from erectile dysfunction, despite the fact the his urologist assured him that there is no physical reason to explain his problem. In discussing this further, he was able to see that even though Amanda was desperate to have a child, that under the circumstance he was not. His penis was telling him something very important!
I may never have known about the reality of Robert’s experiences with Amanda had I not met with him individually. At the end of our session Robert told me that he was thinking of going to a hotel for the night, since he hadn’t been able to sleep in several days. He planned on calling Amanda to let her know of his plans as soon as he left my office.
11 P.M.—MY CELL PHONE RINGS
Robert called to tell me that Amanda threatened suicide and that the police were on their was to their New York City apartment to take her to a hospital.
THE NEXT DAY
I spoke with both Robert and Amanda after Amanda was discharged. She told me that she threatened suicide because she didn’t want Robert to go to a hotel, fearing that he was going to leave her. Amanda and I scheduled an individual appointment to meet the following day..followed by another couples session. Effective treatment (both individual and couples therapy) would now be possible, now that I had an accurate picture of the reality of Robert and Amanda’s life together.
*The names and some of the details have been change to protect the confidentiality of my patients.
Beatty Cohan, MSW, LCSW, AASECT is a nationally recognized psychotherapist, sex therapist, author of For Better for Worse Forever: Discover the Path to Lasting Love, national speaker, national radio and television expert guest and host of the weekly ASK BEATTY SHOW on the Progressive Radio Network. She has a private practice in New York City and East Hampton.
Beatty would love to hear from you. You can send your comments and questions to BeattyCohan.msw@gmail.com. For more information go to BeattyCohan.com.
Features
Why Fitness Routines Fall Apart — and How to Rebuild Yours
Every spring, gyms see a flood of hopeful faces. New shoes, fresh playlists, unwavering intentions, by mid-summer? Half of them vanish into the fog of abandoned routines. The story repeats year after year until it starts to feel almost scripted. Why does enthusiasm evaporate? The easy answer involves willpower but that explanation misses the point. Habits don’t fail because people are weak. Life stress, boredom, and monotony ruin routines. Timely lever pulls can change narratives. The hardest part is persevering when motivation wanes.
Mistaking Motivation for Momentum
Most chase that opening surge, the lightning strike of motivation, but then stop searching once enthusiasm fizzles. A scroll through sites like PUR Pharma (pur-pharma.is/) or a glimpse of an influencer’s progress triggers a burst of action: new workout gear ordered, plans scribbled in planners destined for dusty drawers. Yet momentum fades when small setbacks pop up (a late meeting here, rainy weather there). Real progress comes from building systems stronger than any fleeting pep talk. Those who frame fitness as something owed to motivation end up back at square one every time life interrupts, which it always does.
Overcomplicating Everything
It’s tempting to turn wellness into a science fair project with spreadsheets and specialized equipment lined up on day one. This is the allure of complexity disguised as seriousness, a new diet paired with seven types of supplements and four color-coded bottles. Simplicity gets lost in the noise almost instantly. Most successful routines rely on two principles: keep it simple and keep showing up even when everything else is chaos outside those gym walls. Anyone insisting that perfection is required before taking step one has already constructed an excuse not to begin at all.
Forgetting Fun Completely
Who decided exercise must hurt or look like punishment? Somewhere along the line, fun got swapped out for grind culture and “no pain, no gain.” That isn’t just unappealing, it’s unsustainable over months or years. If sessions feel like torture devices borrowed from medieval times, nobody should be surprised when commitment falters fast. Seek activities that actually spark some joy or curiosity, a dance class instead of yet another treadmill session, maybe, or play a pickup game rather than slogging through solo circuits again and again.
Ignoring Recovery (and Reality)
Sleep deprivation, disguised as discipline, fools anyone, except perhaps uncritical Instagram followers. Ignoring recovery turns ambition into tiredness faster than any missed session. Because bodies break without rest, routines must breathe with owners. Cycling, real leisure, and honest self-checks regarding weekly goals build endurance, not continual pushing.
Conclusion
Change rarely arrives by force alone but usually grows quietly from patterns repeated imperfectly over time, even if last month looked nothing like this week so far. Drop the hunt for nonstop inspiration. Instead of breaking behaviors at the first hint of stress or boredom, build habits that last. People who rebuild methodically after every stumble or detour make progress, not those who peak and then fall.
Features
How DIY Auto Repairs Can Help You Cut Costs—Safely
Regular maintenance and minor repairs are the greatest approach for many car drivers to save money without sacrificing dependability. DIY repairs can save you a lot of money over the life of your car since most of the expense is in the labour. DIY helps you learn how things work and notice tiny issues before they become costly ones. Every work requires planning, patience, and safety.
Test Your Talents with Safe Limits
DIY solutions succeed when one is honest about their talents. Wiper blades, air filters, and occupant filters are beginner-friendly. With the correct equipment, intermediate owners can replace brake pads, spark plugs, coolant, and brake fluid. Pressurized fuel, high-voltage hybrids, airbags, and timing components are risky. Only professionals should manage them. Limitations protect you and your car. Drivers trust sources like Parts Avenue to find, install, and schedule manufacturer-approved work.
Set Up a Reliable Workspace and Tools
Good tools pay for themselves quickly. Ratchets, torque wrenches, combination wrenches, heavy jack stands, and wheel chocks are essential. It is advisable to engage specialists for specific tasks. A clean, flat, well-lit, and open space is essential. Please take your time. While working, keep a charged phone nearby to read repair instructions or write torque patterns.
Find the Problem before Replacing the Parts
It may cost more to replace something without diagnosing it. Instead of ideas, start with symptoms. OBD-II readers detect leaks, sounds, and DTCs. Simple tests like voltage, smoke indicating vacuum leaks, pad thickness, and rotor runout might reveal failure. A good analysis saves components, protects surrounding parts, and fosters future trust.
Maintenance That Pays off is Most Crucial
Jobs compensate for time and tools differently. Prioritize returns and maintenance. Change the oil and filter, rotate the tires, evaluate the air pressure, replace low brake fluid, clean the coolant with the right chemicals, and replace belts and filters before they fail. These items extend automotive life, stabilize fuel efficiency, and reduce roadside towing issues that can take months to resolve.
Do as Instructed, Utilize Quality Parts, and Follow Torque Requirements
Understand the service. Set the jacking points, tighten the screws in the appropriate order, and use threadlocker or anti-seize as suggested by the maker. Rotor wear can cause leaks, distortions, or broken threads. Choose components that meet or exceed OEM requirements and fit your car’s VIN, engine code, and manufacturing date. Cheap parts that break easily cost extra.
Test, Record, and Discard Carefully
Safely test the system before patching. Check under the car for drops, bleed the brakes again, and check fluid levels after a short drive. Note torques, parts, miles, and repair date. Photo and document storage for car sales. Properly dispose of oil, filters, coolant, and brake fluid. Controlling hazards protects your community and workplace.
Know When to Seek Professional Help
Self-employed individuals recognize their constraints. If a task is challenging, requires special instruments, or involves safety, consult an expert. Collaboration makes cars safer, cheaper, and more efficient. Selecting, planning, and implementing processes properly improves performance, lowers costs, and ensures safety.
Features
What It Means for Ontario to Be the Most Open iGaming Market in Canada
Ontario is the most open commercial iGaming market in Canada, having been the first province to open up to commercial actors in the online casino and betting space since 2022.
Since gambling laws in Canada are managed on a provincial level, each province has its own legislation.
Before April 4th, 2022, Ontario was similar to any other Canadian province in the iGaming space. The only gaming site regulated in the province was run by government-owned Ontario Lottery and Gaming Corporation, also known as OLG. However, when the market opened up, numerous high-quality gambling companies established themselves in the province, quickly generating substantial revenue. As the largest online gambling market in Canada, it’s now, three years later, also one of the biggest in North America.
The fully regulated commercial market is run under iGaming Ontario and the Alcohol and Gaming Commission of Ontario. These licensed casinos and online sportsbooks are thus fully legal and safe for players to play at, while at the same time, the open market allows companies to compete and offer different products and platforms as long as they all fit within the requirements set up by the state of Ontario.
This means that Ontarians have a wide choice of licensed sites, whether they’re interested in sports betting, live dealer games, or slots – all with strict consumer-protection rules that keep them safe while exploring the many options. (Source: https://esportsinsider.com/ca/gambling/online-casinos-canada)
There are many benefits to online gaming, especially in a country that’s as sparsely populated as Canada, leaving physical venues often few and far between for those living outside the biggest cities.
Even before Ontario launched its own gambling sites, online gambling had been common among Ontarians. Regulating the market and offering alternatives regulated by the province has often added safer and more controlled options.
Since 85% of Ontarians now play at regulated sites, the initiative of opening up the market seems a clear win in more than one way.
Despite the huge success of the Ontario market, most provinces in Canada haven’t changed much in the iGaming sector in the past few years. Some provinces keep Crown-run monopolies, while others limit activity to a single government-run platform. This often leads Canadians to seek offshore alternatives instead, since the options are so few in their own province.
But 2025 marks an important change. The provinces seem to have noticed that Ontario picked a winning strategy, and Alberta has clearly been taking notes.
While the province of Alberta has previously opted for controlled gambling through one government website, the province is now opening up the commercial online gambling market. The Alberta iGaming Corporation will be in charge of licensing and inspecting actors that operate in the province. This will mean many more options for players, coupled with consumer protection and a high level of safety.
Meanwhile, the Ontario iGaming market continues to prosper, grow, and develop. Now that a second province is following in its footsteps, it seems more likely that other provinces will also start following the trend.