Israel
What I’ll remember most about Shimon Peres is his sense of humour
By BERNIE BELLAN In 2014 my wife Meachelle and I had the privilege of attending a Jewish media summit in Jerusalem. The highlight of that summit was seeing both then-President Shimon Peres and Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu on stage the same day, albeit at different times.
Following are some impressions I had of Peres who, that day, was introduced by Times of Israel editor David Horovitz. Horovitz also moderated a lively question and answer session between Peres and members of the international Jewish media who were present:
“Shimon Peres may be 91 years old but his sharpness of mind and willingness to answer any and all questions would belie his actual age. Once Peres was introduced, Horovitz’s very first question to him was about Mahmoud Abbas, president of the Palestinian Authority, who had just recently come out in criticism of the kidnapping of the three boys (who had recently been kidnapped on the West Bank and were subsequently found murdered) when he was in Jedda, Saudi Arabia.
“Horowitz asked Peres to comment on Abbas’s recent comment in Saudi Arabia that ‘Those who kidnapped the three teenagers want to destroy us.’ (The speech was carried live on Palestinian television and other Arabic channels.)
“Peres lavished huge praise on Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas for showing ‘great courage’ in roundly condemning the kidnapping of the three Israeli teens which, at the time of the summit, was into its second week.
“During his remarks Peres insisted that Abbas has been the best partner for peace that Israel has ever had. I’ve known him for over 20 years…I think he’s a man of his word, I think he’s a man of courage…I think he’s a great leader and we shouldn’t miss the opportunity to continue the peace process with him.’
“Later Peres was asked what he thought was the task of the Jewish media. He replied: ‘It is to criticize us when we are wrong and to help us when we are right.’
“In a funny slip of the tongue, Peres also stated that ‘the human brain is a strange “orgasm” ‘, when he clearly meant to say “organism”. (At least I think so. Who knows what he was really thinking? Read on to find out more about his keen sense of humour.)
“When asked what Israel has to do to lure more Jewish immigrants, Peres stated: ‘Israel truly has to be as attractive as she can because people are looking to escape not only from poor places.’ (The plight of Jews in Europe was a recurrent theme throughout the summit, especially Jews in France.)
“Peres fielded any and all questions deftly for over 30 minutes. While his hearing was obviously not as sharp as it once was – he had to ask Horovtiz to repeat audience members’ questions, he never once attempted to skirt answering any questions although, to be perfectly candid, nothing tough was thrown his way. (If I had been presented the opportunity to ask him a question I would have asked him what more Israel should be doing to achieve peace with the Palestinians.
“While Peres was willing to open himself up to questions, we knew beforehand that Prime Minister Netanyahu never, ever fields questions from the wretched press. A member of the Israeli media told me not to feel bad: ‘It’s not just you members of the foreign media Netanyahu ignores – he never answers questions from the Israeli press either.’ “
As much as Peres has been the object of much deserved praise from sources ranging from as diverse a group of leaders as Barack Obama and Justin Trudeau on the one hand, to Vladimir Putin and Mahmoud Abbas on the other, for me the lasting takeaway was his incredibly good sense of humour. A couple of years ago, shortly after Peres had retired as president, he appeared in a brilliantly satirical video titled “Shimon Peres goes job hunting”. In the video Peres finds himself looking for new work, but not until he finishes clearing off his presidential desk, on which sits a copy of a book titled “Presidency for Dummies!”
During the course of the video Peres tries working as a gas station jockey, security guard, store cashier, pizza delivery man, stand up comic, and a parachutist instructor. His willingness to parody himself throughout is unbelievable for someone of his stature. I would say that, more than any of the tributes that have been pouring out in recognition of his greatness, this video tells us more about the man than any of those fine speeches. Watch it on our website at http://jewishpostandnews.ca/categories-media/72-israel-specific/163-former-israeli-president-shimon-peres-goes-job-hunting.
Israel
Israel report by former Winnipegger Bruce Brown
10 minutes
(Posted Dec. 24, 2024)
02:11 AM: Sound asleep.
2.11.01 AM: Wide awake. Awoken by a blaring missile alarm. Incoming. Took me no time to react. Ivan Pavlov would be proud. I quickly scooped up my dog. Grabbed my glasses. An inhaler. My phone and power cord. And sprinted to the safe room. Right across the hall. My wife overseas on vacation. So did this one alone. Er with my dog. We have 90 seconds to reach safety so no real panic, relatively speaking.
2.11.09 AM: In my safe room. Slid shut the heavy steel slabs across the window. You can hear this happening throughout the building. Kinda like a horror movie. Screech. Slam. Screech. Slam. Screech. Slam. Then mine. Screech. Slam. Next I jumped across the room and slammed shut the heavy, reinforced, steel door. It also makes a slamming sound, a really loud one. Then slumped down on the couch with my dog. With some level of relief. Where is this missile coming from. Can’t be from Gaza, they don’t have the capability anymore…I hope. Nor Lebanon, living too far south…I hope. Yemen? Possible. Those dang Houthis?
2. 14 AM: Oh oh. Need to pee. Like really bad. Once in the safe room, you should stay there for ten minutes. Unless there is another siren. Each siren requires a ten minute respite. Respite? Odd choice of words as you are not really resting. Way too tense. Especially as you can occasionally hear the booms of intercepted missiles up above. Kind of unnerving. Back to my need to pee. Its quite dangerous leaving the room during this period. Should your place be hit by the missile or falling debris from the sky. You don’t want to be caught with your pants down, literally, hovering over your toilet. And condos have been hit in Rehovot with some death and much destruction. Hmmm. To pee or not to pee. That is the question. Whether tis better to suffer the pangs of having to pee or the missiles of outrageous fortune. You get the point.
2.14.10 AM: Peeing in the bathroom.
2.14.40 AM: Back in the safe room. With my dog. Sitting on the couch. Fiddling with the remote control. I work in hi tech. The semiconductor world which can be pretty complex. But I simply have not mastered the remote. Really want to see what’s going on. Where is the missile from. Are there more attacks elsewhere in the country. Pushing this button and that button But the TV still off. Okay. Will check my cell. Although the connection sometimes comes and goes when shuttered in the heavily reinforced concrete and steel safe room. Works! Ya! Showing three bars. Sometimes four. Checking my feeds. But no news yet.
2.17 AM: Seriously. I need to pee again. Like really bad. Dang prostate! To pee or not to pee. That is the question…. You get the point. I chose to pee. This time I don’t actually slam shut the heavy, reinforced, steel door. And my dog follows me out. This could get complicated. But first things first.
2.17.10 AM: Peeing in the bathroom.
2.17.40 AM: Chasing after my dog around the condo. Poncho!!! There he is. In the living room. Like master. Like pet. He too is relieving himself. Probably the tension. Dogs can sense these things. “Faster Poncho!. Faster!” I encourage him.
2,18.02 AM: We’re back in the safe room. The heavy, reinforced, steel door slammed shut. And then I start worrying. What if I have to pee again. Its really dangerous out there. Idea! I’ll bring a cleaning pail in here. And if worse comes to worse. Well, I am alone. Sans my dog.
2.18.22 AM: I dart for the cleaning cabinet in the bathroom to grab the pail. Making sure the heavy, reinforced, steel door is shut less my dog run out again. Wait! As it dawns on me at 02.18.22 AM. This is not the smartest thing to do. At least I could have combined grabbing the pail with actually having to pee again. Like maybe I could hold out for the next three minutes or so in the safe room. No urgent need for the pail. But I am already there….
2.18.25 AM: Grab the red cleaning pail
2.18.28 AM: Back in the safe room. The heavy, reinforced, steel door slammed shut again. Siting on the couch with my dog again. Red pail glaring at me from the side of the room…daring me. But my bladder is relaxed. I try the remote again. I feel like my 85 year old mother who often complains about getting her remote to work. I console myself thinking that it must be the batteries. Hmmm. Maybe a mad rush for the utility room to get some new batteries. But that would be mad. I’ll take care of it in the morning. Only a few more minutes and I can safely leave the safe room and go back to bed.
2.19.45 AM: I pour myself a glass of mineral water. This I store in the safe room per Homefront commands. Fresh batteries not, hrmph. As I down the water I realize this is probably not the best idea. Less it creates the urge to pee…. Alas no. Start surfing my feed again. The intercontinental missile was fired by those crazy, dang Houthis from Yemen. All of central Israel sent to their safe rooms. Dang Houthis! The next couple minutes go by pretty smoothly. Although seems like an eternity.
2.21 AM: Back in bed. Albeit sleep comes slowly as my adrenaline starts to reside.
As it were. Israel bombed the dang Houthis that night. For the third time since the outbreak of the war. In retaliation for them firing over 200 ballistic missiles and 170 drones at Israel, which fortunately had not resulted in much damage. We struck them with over 60 bombs in two air raid sorties. Destroying mainly military targets as well as ports and energy infrastructure. Maybe that will teach them for waking me -and a million other Israelis- in the middle of the night.
As it were. Falling debris from the dang Houthi attack landed on a school in central Israel, forcing its collapse. Fortunately and thank G-d it was the middle of the night. Sometime between 2:11 AM and 2.21 AM. So no casualties. Can’t even imagine the tragedy had this strike occurred mid-day.
As it were. I changed the batteries in the remote. It works just fine now. And I left the red cleaning pail in the safe room….just in case. But I hope the dang Houthis finally learned their lesson. Although probably not.
As it were. Two nights later. Another 2:00AM missile from the dang Houthis. . They just wont let me sleep….
As it is. Please continue donating to the Israeli war and revival efforts. You may have given earlier. But give again. The financial costs to Israel are and will be billions. Billions! Sderot and Metulla and Tel Avi and Haifa are Israel’s front lines. Israel is the diaspora’s front line.
Bruce Brown. A Canadian. And an Israeli. Bruce made Aliyah…a long time ago. He works in Israel’s hi-tech sector by day and, in spurts, is a somewhat inspired writer by night. Bruce is the winner of the 2019 American Jewish Press Association Simon Rockower Award for excellence in writing. And wrote the 1998 satire, An Israeli is…. Bruce’s reflects on life in Israel – political, social, economic and personal. With lots of biting, contrarian, sardonic and irreverent insight
Israel
Join the Masa Canadian Professionals Volunteers Program!
You are invited on a 4-week volunteer program in Israel from October 14th to November 10th. Help rebuild Israeli society post-October 7th over Canadian Thanksgiving, Sukkot, and Simchat Torah. Spend three weeks based in Tel Aviv and one week based in Eilat!
This program is exclusively for Jewish professionals aged 22-50, working at Jewish organizations or remotely in any field.
The cost of the program is $150 USD to the organizer and $50 USD to Masa. Participants will receive a Masa grant of $2650 USD that is applied to participation and to cover additional costs. The cost of the program includes housing, meals while volunteering, transportation on travel days, health insurance, leadership training, and more. Volunteers are required to commit to the volunteer schedule, with the understanding that there will be the flexibility to work remotely for 8 specific days during the program. Flights are not included but you get a 15% discount from El Al.
Sign up here: https://www.masaisrael.org/go/canada-jp/ space is limited!
Don’t miss this unique opportunity to make a difference and connect with fellow professionals. For more information, contact Mahla Finkleman, National Manager of Partnerships and Outreach, Masa Canada, atmfinkleman@ujafed.org and/or Sam Goodman, Senior Manager of Israel Engagement, sgoodman@ujafed.org.
Save the Dates for Info Sessions:
- Thursday, September 5th, 12:00 – 12:30 EST
- Wednesday, September 11th, 12:00 – 12:30 EST
Join us in Israel for a meaningful and impactful experience with Masa!
weeks based in Tel Aviv and one week based in Eilat!
This program is exclusively for Jewish professionals aged 22-50, working at Jewish organizations or remotely in any field.
The cost of the program is $150 USD to the organizer and $50 USD to Masa. Participants will receive a Masa grant of $2650 USD that is applied to participation and to cover additional costs. The cost of the program includes housing, meals while volunteering, transportation on travel days, health insurance, leadership training, and more. Volunteers are required to commit to the volunteer schedule, with the understanding that there will be the flexibility to work remotely for 8 specific days during the program. Flights are not included but you get a 15% discount from El Al.
Sign up here: https://www.masaisrael.org/go/canada-jp/ space is limited!
Don’t miss this unique opportunity to make a difference and connect with fellow professionals. For more information, contact Mahla Finkleman, National Manager of Partnerships and Outreach, Masa Canada, atmfinkleman@ujafed.org and/or Sam Goodman, Senior Manager of Israel Engagement, sgoodman@ujafed.org.
Save the Dates for Info Sessions:
- Thursday, September 5th, 12:00 – 12:30 EST
- Wednesday, September 11th, 12:00 – 12:30 EST
Join us in Israel for a meaningful and impactful experience with Masa!
Features
New website for Israelis interested in moving to Canada
By BERNIE BELLAN (May 21, 2024) A new website, titled “Orvrim to Canada” (https://www.ovrimtocanada.com/ovrim-en) has been receiving hundreds of thousands of visits, according to Michal Harel, operator of the website.
In an email sent to jewishpostandnews.ca Michal explained the reasons for her having started the website:
“In response to the October 7th events, a group of friends and I, all Israeli-Canadian immigrants, came together to launch a new website supporting Israelis relocating to Canada. “Our website, https://www.ovrimtocanada.com/, offers a comprehensive platform featuring:
- Step-by-step guides for starting the immigration process
- Settlement support and guidance
- Community connections and networking opportunities
- Business relocation assistance and expert advice
- Personal blog sharing immigrants’ experiences and insights
“With over 200,000 visitors and media coverage from prominent Israeli TV channels and newspapers, our website has already made a significant impact in many lives.”
A quick look at the website shows that it contains a wealth of information, almost all in Hebrew, but with an English version that gives an overview of what the website is all about.
The English version also contains a link to a Jerusalem Post story, published this past February, titled “Tired of war? Canada grants multi-year visas to Israelis” (https://www.jpost.com/israel-news/article-787914#google_vignette) That story not only explains the requirements involved for anyone interested in moving to Canada from Israel, it gives a detailed breakdown of the costs one should expect to encounter.
(Updated May 28)
We contacted Ms. Harel to ask whether she’s aware whether there has been an increase in the number of Israelis deciding to emigrate from Israel since October 7. (We want to make clear that we’re not advocating for Israelis to emigrate; we’re simply wanting to learn more about emigration figures – and whether there has been a change in the number of Israelis wanting to leave the country.)
Ms. Harel referred us to a website titled “Globes”: https://www.globes.co.il/news/article.aspx?did=1001471862
The website is in Hebrew, but we were able to translate it into English. There is a graph on the website showing both numbers of immigrants to Israel and emigrants.
The graph shows a fairly steady rate of emigration from 2015-2022, hovering in the 40,000 range, then in 2023 there’s a sudden increase in the number of emigrants to 60,000.
According to the website, the increase in emigrants is due more to a change in the methodology that Israel has been using to count immigrants and emigrants than it is to any sudden upsurge in emigration. (Apparently individuals who had formerly been living in Israel but who may have returned to Israel just once a year were being counted as having immigrated back to Israel. Now that they are no longer being counted as immigrants and instead are being treated as emigrants, the numbers have shifted radically.)
Yet, the website adds this warning: “The figures do not take into account the effects of the war, since it is still not possible to identify those who chose to emigrate following it. It is also difficult to estimate what Yalad Yom will produce – on the one hand, anti-Semitism and hatred of Jews and Israelis around the world reminds everyone where the Jewish home is. On the other hand, the bitter truth we discovered in October is that it was precisely in Israel, the safe fortress of the Jewish people, that a massacre took place reminding us of the horrors of the Holocaust. And if that’s not enough, the explosive social atmosphere and the difference in the state budget deficit, which will inevitably lead to a heavy burden of taxes and a reduction in public services, may convince Zionist Israelis that they don’t belong here.”
Thus, as much as many of us would be disappointed to learn that there is now an upsurge in Israelis wanting to move out of the country, once reliable figures begin to be produced for 2024, we shouldn’t be surprised to learn that is the case – which helps to explain the tremendous popularity of Ms. Harel’s website.
You must be logged in to post a comment Login