Dr. Sidney Fleisher died peacefully at his home on November 4th. He was a loving and adored husband, father, father-in-law, zaida, and great-zaida. He is missed and will always be remembered by his daughters and sons-in-law, Marcia and Kelly, Rhonda and Bob, Susan and Larry, and Sara and Benjamin. Also mourning Sidney are his sister, Arlene Rusk, brother-in-law and sister-in-law, Larry and Faye Litman, and his grandchildren, Alexander, Georgia, Loren, Ethan, Lily, Mira, Leah, Jeremy, Alexa (Aaron), and Brendan, and great-grandson, Arthur. Sidney Fleisher was predeceased by Beverly, his loving wife of 53 years, his sisters, Bessie Zelickson and Miriam Fleisher, his brothers-in-law, Jerry Litman, Cyril Zelickson, and Michael Rusk, and his nephew, Kenny Zelickson.
Sidney was born in north end Winnipeg to Jewish immigrant parents on the eve of the Great Depression and grew to maturity during the Second World War. He was the eldest of four children and the only son. As a child he worked in the family grocery store early mornings before school and after school. In 1944, while still in grade 11, Sidney dropped out of school and joined the 2nd (R) Battalion of the Winnipeg Light Infantry while continuing to work with his father. He remained in the grocery business until his mid to late 20s. At that point he became a travelling salesman with Success Wax and excelled at this work. When a large international corporation purchased Success Wax, he was one of the few employees who were fired. And when he was subsequently refused employment at a job with another large company he learned (from a friend who worked there) that they simply did not hire Jews. He said that when he heard this he vowed that he would never again allow himself to be in a position where he could be fired – that he needed to be his own boss and he needed to work at something that would comfortably support his family. To fulfill this promise to himself, even though he was married with three children and 33 years old, he returned to high school (there was no Adult Education program at the time) with the intention of going on to dentistry.
In 1968, at age 40, Sidney had one of the proudest moments of his life when he graduated as a dentist. The quality of his work was recognized by his peers. Frequently, patients who had seen another dentist, upon their return to Sidney, would report that the other dentist had commented on the work being ‘beautiful’ and would ask who the dentist had been. He was a caring dentist who was moved and concerned by patients’ pain. He strove to relieve it, doing free dental work if patients could not afford to pay. In the latter part of his career he focussed on temporomandibular joint (TMJ) dysfunction. He became aware that there were large numbers of patients with unrecognized, untreated and/or poorly treated pain from TMJ disorder, many of whom had been suffering for years. With further study and practice in this field, Sidney developed such expertise that he was successful in relieving pain in patients who had been unsuccessfully treated by other health care professionals. Ultimately, he had patients who came from many other countries specifically to be treated for TMJ dysfunction.
The greatest passion of Sidney’s life was his wife Beverly, whom he met at a party in 1947 when he was 18 and she was 15 years old. Within a year they were engaged and were married two years later during the Red River flood of 1950. In spite of this inauspicious beginning, the stress of having a family while they were very young, financial worries, and the pressure of returning to school and studying dentistry and knowing that this was his ‘best last chance’ to give his Beverly and children the lives that he felt they deserved, he and Beverly maintained an unwavering passion for each other. His children cannot recall a single occasion when he was critical of Bev or when they argued. Every day upon his return from work they met at the door and (at times very embarrassingly for his children) would share a passionate kiss and embrace.
As a father he was loving and affectionate. He would involve his daughters and later his grandchildren in all sorts of projects. He took great pleasure in teaching them many practical life skills – how to polish shoes, how to mow a lawn – and, being perfectionistic, he taught them how to perform these skills in his special way. By the time he was a grandfather, he had more time, so the nature and breadth of the skills changed. He taught them the making and bottling of wine, how to polish a Mercedes (his first and most loved luxury car), and the care involved in storing, cutting, and enjoying a Cuban cigar. He was a wonderful grandfather and great-grandfather. His grandchildren, now scattered over the continent, took much comfort and delight in coming together at the time of his passing and sharing many anecdotes involving their time with Zaida Sid.
Sidney was a complex mixture of virtue and foibles and, very often, apparent contradictions. At his core there were two related but distinct forces driving much of what he did and he was at his best when these two forces worked together. The first was a compelling need to ‘make things better, to improve upon’ and the second was profound compassion for those who were disadvantaged in some way. The ‘improvements’ applied to both the trivial and the life-altering. For example, he excitedly added strawberry Jello powder to his rugalach recipe, thinking it would enhance both flavour and texture (hint: it wasn’t an improvement). And the same force was at play when he provided the necessary money for someone to improve their lives and/or the lives of their families by funding a new business, paying for years of university, or providing support for a family which allowed a parent to begin a new venture, etc. Sometimes he did this for family and at other times he did this for patients or even strangers. But they all became his friends. His generosity was untrumpeted; there is no building or faculty bearing his name. There are only people whose lives and whose children’s lives have been positively transformed as a result of knowing Sid.
Sidney had a ‘larger than life’ personality. He was a tall, attractive man with a ‘big’, positive energetic presence. He was extraordinarily extraverted and upbeat and he spoke boisterously and laughed frequently. Sidney had a terrific sense of humour and, most importantly, never took himself too seriously. He easily shared laughs at his own expense and, with his abundance of quirks, there were many such laughs. Sidney had an astounding amount of resilience and tenacity and an iron will, and this carried him through life’s difficult times. He did not have an easy early life and his return to school was very tough. But surely his most painful trials were the loss of his Beverly in 2004 and his lengthy final illness with its painfully slow series of cumulative losses. He faced all of this with ineffable good cheer and expressions of love for those who loved him. What a guy.
The family would like to thank Edna Johnson, Sidney’s dental assistant of 30 years, without whom he could not have practised dentistry well into his 80s. We also thank the marvellous caregivers who have felt like members of our extended family – some for over ten years. These remarkable people treated Sidney lovingly, gently, and with great care and enabled him to remain at home until the end. They are: Eliny Santiago, Theresita Barillos, Gizelle Arevelo, Eduardo Arevelo, Connie Agbayani, Ruth Sunico, and Anita Obfintuyi.
Sidney received superb medical care from his rheumatologist, Dr. Carol Hitchon, and his family physician, Dr. Grant Goldberg. Both of these doctors provided care that reflected that rare combination of medical excellence and genuine compassion, respect, and concern. Even when leaving his home was a struggle, an appointment with Dr. Hitchon brightened Sidney’s day. And we cannot count the number of times Dr. Goldberg called us to check on Sidney’s health during what were supposed to be his ‘off hours’. We also want to thank the nurses at the Rheumatology Clinic, Tom Hartlieb and Laurie Radke. Dr. Goldberg’s physician assistant, Matthew Christian, was knowledgeable and very helpful on countless occasions, as were the wonderful nurses at Fort Garry Access. Finally, thank you to the Palliative Care Team, who were incredibly helpful, a pleasure to deal with, and were always available when we needed them. We just couldn’t have asked for more.
Sidney’s funeral was held at the Chesed Shel Emes. Interment took place at the Bnay Abraham Cemetery on November 7th. Pallbearers were: Alexander MacDonald, Ethan Landy, Loren MacDonald, Jeremy Hecht, Leah Cornblum, and Brendan Hecht. The family wishes to thank Cantor Tracy Kasner, who performed an absolutely beautiful service. A gathering to remember and honour Sidney will take place at a later date.
People who wish to make a donation may donate to The Beverly and Sidney Fleisher Fund at the Jewish Foundation of Manitoba (204) 477 7520, the Wildlife Haven Rehabilitation Centre (204) 878 3740, or a charity of your choice.