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‘I Can’t Live Anymore’: Heart-Wrenching Suicide Letter by Survivor of Oct. 7 Nova Massacre Revealed by Family

An Israeli soldier walks near pictures that are part of an installation at the site of the Nova festival, where people were killed and kidnapped during the Oct. 7 attack by Hamas, in Reim, southern Israel, Jan. 14, 2024. Photo: REUTERS/Tyrone Siu

A survivor of the Hamas massacre at the Nova music festival on Oct. 7 who later took his own life left behind a suicide letter that was recently shared anonymously by a member of his family.

The Israeli man detailed in his Hebrew-language note his decision to commit suicide after enduring so many harrowing sights during the Hamas terrorist attack at the music festival in southern Israel, including kidnapping, murder, and the rape of a woman nearby him. He wrote about the trauma he experienced that day at the festival — where nearly 400 people were killed and approximately 40 others were kidnapped by Hamas-led Palestinian terrorists — and how he could not take living life anymore as the memories of Oct. 7 haunted him every day. He also discussed the guilt of not saving the woman being sexually assaulted near him and how that feeling of helplessness pushed him to the point of wanting to commit suicide.

In his suicide letter, he talked directly to the woman he saw being raped and then shot to death at the music festival near where he was hiding. He began his note by telling her, “Hey you, please forgive me!” He later wrote to her: “I have reached rock bottom, I can’t live anymore. Your look follows me every single day — in the shower, in my sleep, in my room. I couldn’t go back to work, I wasn’t able to.”

“I ask for your forgiveness,” he added. “I am coming to you, to the next great world, I promise to save you there and protect you. Please forgive me!” He concluded his suicide letter by telling her: “My sister is having a baby, I thought about sticking around to get to know my nephew, but I don’t think he should know the uncle that couldn’t save you. It’s okay, I’ll watch him from above.”

The Israeli man also recounted the days leading up to Oct. 7 and even how the day of the attack started pleasantly before Hamas infiltrated the music festival.

Israeli writer, activist, and speaker Hen Mazzig said on X that the suicide letter was published anonymously by the sister of the deceased in an Israeli social media group. The sister did not mention her sibling or family’s ‘s identity to maintain their privacy during this difficult time.

Read the full suicide note below, translated from Hebrew:

“Hey you, please forgive me!

It all started on Thursday, we were dancing and having fun, and come Friday — so much fun all around, seeing friends we haven’t seen in years — we all met to dance and celebrate life. Come Saturday morning, the sun begins to rise, it’s so beautiful as it starts to shine all over everyone.

We’re dancing and happy, hugging, and some of my friends start to leave. Suddenly, rockets start flying over us, I know this, this is my life — I’m from the South. But then there are paragliders — I hope nothing happens to them…

Then starts the gunfire — what is going on?

We see the truck coming, paratroopers dressed in foreign uniforms — they are killing everyone.

They just killed Shay, they killed Adi.. They’re kidnapping that girl, who is sitting there hugging her murdered boyfriend. Suddenly you run to the bushes where I sit and hide, not uttering a sound from my lips.

You’re in the bush next to me, so close, the cries gush out from within you. A terrorist is right above the bush I’m hiding in and I pray he won’t see me, I pray so hard, something I haven’t done my entire life… God can hear my prayer.

But you won’t stop crying out loud because with every second, someone gets shot and murdered.

They saw you, they’re dragging you out of the bushes. They’re four and you’re one.

You scream for help.

One of them punches you to silence you, and you try to fight them while looking towards my direction, for me to save you.

But if I step out, we will both get murdered. I want to live! I sit there silently, they start undressing you! I’m crying, I feel like I need to scream but a hand silences me! Maybe it’s the hand of God, or I don’t know who…

They turn you on your stomach and they start raping you, one by one. They turn you around again and they yell at you in English, they want you to see for yourself how they have defeated you. You try to crawl in my direction and I pray for something to happen, for someone to kill them so you can get out alive, but as you crawl towards me and they’re on top of you — the shot comes.

They murdered you, but before they murdered your body they murdered your soul.

I sat there, in the bushes, for hours, I did not come out. I saw a bottle of water next to you and I was so incredibly thirsty, but I couldn’t bear the thought that I should have saved you, so how can I be so disrespectful and drink your water?

I have reached rock bottom, I can’t live anymore. Your look follows me every single day — in the shower, in my sleep, in my room. I couldn’t go back to work, I wasn’t able to.

I’ve been to your house. I didn’t tell your parents what you’ve been through, but they’ve been told that your body was abused, I was a witness.

I ask for your forgiveness.

I am coming to you, to the next great world, I promise to save you there and protect you. Please forgive me!

And don’t worry, I left a note for my family telling them how much I love them, and thanking them for the life they gave me.

My sister is having a baby, I thought about sticking around to get to know my nephew, but I don’t think he should know the uncle that couldn’t save you.

It’s okay, I’ll watch him from above.”

The post ‘I Can’t Live Anymore’: Heart-Wrenching Suicide Letter by Survivor of Oct. 7 Nova Massacre Revealed by Family first appeared on Algemeiner.com.

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After False Dawns, Gazans Hope Trump Will Force End to Two-Year-Old War

Palestinians walk past a residential building destroyed in previous Israeli strikes, after Hamas agreed to release hostages and accept some other terms in a US plan to end the war, in Nuseirat, central Gaza Strip October 4, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Mahmoud Issa

Exhausted Palestinians in Gaza clung to hopes on Saturday that US President Donald Trump would keep up pressure on Israel to end a two-year-old war that has killed tens of thousands and displaced the entire population of more than two million.

Hamas’ declaration that it was ready to hand over hostages and accept some terms of Trump’s plan to end the conflict while calling for more talks on several key issues was greeted with relief in the enclave, where most homes are now in ruins.

“It’s happy news, it saves those who are still alive,” said 32-year-old Saoud Qarneyta, reacting to Hamas’ response and Trump’s intervention. “This is enough. Houses have been damaged, everything has been damaged, what is left? Nothing.”

GAZAN RESIDENT HOPES ‘WE WILL BE DONE WITH WARS’

Ismail Zayda, 40, a father of three, displaced from a suburb in northern Gaza City where Israel launched a full-scale ground operation last month, said: “We want President Trump to keep pushing for an end to the war, if this chance is lost, it means that Gaza City will be destroyed by Israel and we might not survive.

“Enough, two years of bombardment, death and starvation. Enough,” he told Reuters on a social media chat.

“God willing this will be the last war. We will hopefully be done with the wars,” said 59-year-old Ali Ahmad, speaking in one of the tented camps where most Palestinians now live.

“We urge all sides not to backtrack. Every day of delay costs lives in Gaza, it is not just time wasted, lives get wasted too,” said Tamer Al-Burai, a Gaza City businessman displaced with members of his family in central Gaza Strip.

After two previous ceasefires — one near the start of the war and another earlier this year — lasted only a few weeks, he said; “I am very optimistic this time, maybe Trump’s seeking to be remembered as a man of peace, will bring us real peace this time.”

RESIDENT WORRIES THAT NETANYAHU WILL ‘SABOTAGE’ DEAL

Some voiced hopes of returning to their homes, but the Israeli military issued a fresh warning to Gazans on Saturday to stay out of Gaza City, describing it as a “dangerous combat zone.”

Gazans have faced previous false dawns during the past two years, when Trump and others declared at several points during on-off negotiations between Hamas, Israel and Arab and US mediators that a deal was close, only for war to rage on.

“Will it happen? Can we trust Trump? Maybe we trust Trump, but will Netanyahu abide this time? He has always sabotaged everything and continued the war. I hope he ends it now,” said Aya, 31, who was displaced with her family to Deir Al-Balah in the central Gaza Strip.

She added: “Maybe there is a chance the war ends at October 7, two years after it began.”

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Mass Rally in Rome on Fourth Day of Italy’s Pro-Palestinian Protests

A Pro-Palestinian demonstrator waves a Palestinian flag during a national protest for Gaza in Rome, Italy, October 4, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Claudia Greco

Large crowds assembled in central Rome on Saturday for the fourth straight day of protests in Italy since Israel intercepted an international flotilla trying to deliver aid to Gaza, and detained its activists.

People holding banners and Palestinian flags, chanting “Free Palestine” and other slogans, filed past the Colosseum, taking part in a march that organizers hoped would attract at least 1 million people.

“I’m here with a lot of other friends because I think it is important for us all to mobilize individually,” Francesco Galtieri, a 65-year-old musician from Rome, said. “If we don’t all mobilize, then nothing will change.”

Since Israel started blocking the flotilla late on Wednesday, protests have sprung up across Europe and in other parts of the world, but in Italy they have been a daily occurrence, in multiple cities.

On Friday, unions called a general strike in support of the flotilla, with demonstrations across the country that attracted more than 2 million, according to organizers. The interior ministry estimated attendance at around 400,000.

Italy’s right-wing government has been critical of the protests, with Prime Minister Giorgia Meloni suggesting that people would skip work for Gaza just as an excuse for a longer weekend break.

On Saturday, Meloni blamed protesters for insulting graffiti that appeared on a statue of the late Pope John Paul II outside Rome’s main train station, where Pro-Palestinian groups have been holding a protest picket.

“They say they are taking to the streets for peace, but then they insult the memory of a man who was a true defender and builder of peace. A shameful act committed by people blinded by ideology,” she said in a statement.

Israel launched its Gaza offensive after Hamas terrorists staged a cross border attack on October 7, 2023, killing some 1,200 people and taking 251 people hostage.

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Hamas Says It Agrees to Release All Israeli Hostages Under Trump Gaza Plan

Smoke rises during an Israeli military operation in Gaza City, as seen from the central Gaza Strip, October 2, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Dawoud Abu Alkas

Hamas said on Friday it had agreed to release all Israeli hostages, alive or dead, under the terms of US President Donald Trump’s Gaza proposal, and signaled readiness to immediately enter mediated negotiations to discuss the details.

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