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Marriage Tips from Jacob?
Jacob Meets Laban by Antonio Balestra. Photo: Wikipedia.
JNS.org – They say that the definition of a successful man is one who can earn more than his wife can spend. And the definition of a successful woman is one who can find such a man.
It’s been more than a thousand years since polygamy was prohibited in Jewish life. One can only wonder how they managed it. Today, we have difficulty satisfying just one spouse. How on earth did people handle multiple marriage partners?
This week in Vayetze, Genesis 28-32, we read of Jacob going off to Haran to find a wife. In the end, due to his father-in-law Laban’s deceptiveness, he ends up with two wives, Rachel and Leah. As the story unfolds, he adds another two wives as well, Bilhah and Zilpah. Remarkably, over the next 20 chapters, as we follow the long life of Jacob, we only find one argument, that which he had with Rachel. When she complained that she was suffering from infertility, he exclaimed, “Am I G-d? Have I deprived you of offspring?” If the Torah only mentions one incident of marital strife in all of the decades of Jacob’s life, that is quite a tribute to his success in handling his marriage to four wives.
Today, most of us struggle with a single marriage partner.
When times are tough, the tough get going … right out of the house. Too many men and women leave their marriages because of the pressures of life in our contemporary milieu. We may well live in the most affluent society in all of history, but the expectations are unreasonably high, and the standards we are expected to emulate are often beyond our reach.
She: “My husband is a shlemiel, a shlemazel, a jerk. I’m telling you, I should have married my first boyfriend! He’s made a success of his life.”
He: “And if you would only be a little more supportive, we could be managing a lot better. I get no support from you. Only bills!”
Often, marriages that are basically sound and solid face serious strain over financial stresses.
There are whole pages in the Talmud Megillah (27b-28a) recording conversations between some of the great sages who were blessed with long lives and their students, “Rabbi, how did you merit longevity?” the students asked. Each venerable rabbi gave his own suggestion as to what special practice he was scrupulous with, which may have been the righteous deed that earned him a long life.
The answers of these great learned men ranged from the sublime to the simple. One said, “I never gained honor from the humiliation of a colleague.” Another said he was always the first one to the house of study. A third said he never used the synagogue as a shortcut. Some of them are more notable than others. But the one that most impressed me was Rabbi Zeira, who said, “In all my days, I never got angry at home.” Wow! If any of all those good practices deserves a long life, surely, that’s the one. How I wish I could say that of myself.
During the Cold War between the Soviet Union and the United States, a popular slogan stressing the need for cool, calm and rational heads on both sides of the divide was “Coexistence or no existence!” It warned us of the consequences if the Cold War got too hot. With nuclear bombs at the disposal of both sides, global obliteration, horrible as it may be, had to be contemplated.
Coexistence is imperative on the micro level, too, in our personal lives and in our marriages. Open and honest communication between men and women is critically important.
Wouldn’t it be refreshing and helpful if a macho man might say, “Y’know honey, the business isn’t doing as well as it was. I could really use some more support, maybe even affection, these days.” And how many spouses, men and women, actively listen? And hear? There’s an old Jewish proverb: “Why did God give us two ears and one mouth? To listen twice as much as we speak.”
Ceasefires seem to be the order of the day. I appeal to warring marriage partners to call a ceasefire of their own and seek help and support from trusted professionals.
We’re on the same team. These are times for families to pull together, not to tear apart. Marriage counseling can and does work. There are excellent people in the helping professions in every community. Reach out to an honest broker. It may be a therapist, social worker or rabbi. They are only too happy to help. I’ve seen many families with problems who addressed their problems and are today happier than ever.
Jacob loved and respected all his wives. We only have one significant other to deal with. May we follow the lead of our founding father and be blessed with long, happy marriages and healthy and harmonious families.
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US State Department Revokes Visas of UK Punk Rap Act Bob Vylan Amid Outrage Over Duo’s Chants of ‘Death to the IDF’
Bob Vylan music duo performance at Glastonbury Festival (Source: FLIKR)
The US State Department has revoked the visas for the English punk rap duo Bob Vylan amid ongoing outrage over their weekend performance at the Glastonbury Festival, in which the pair chanted “Death to the IDF.”
The State Department’s decision to cancel their visas would preclude a planned fall concert tour of the US by the British rappers.
“The [US State Department] has revoked the US visas for the members of the Bob Vylan band in light of their hateful tirade at Glastonbury, including leading the crowd in death chants. Foreigners who glorify violence and hatred are not welcome visitors to our country,” Deputy Secretary of State Christopher Landau wrote on X/Twitter on Monday.
During a June 28 set at Glastonbury Festival, Bob Vylan’s Pascal Robinson-Foster ignited a firestorm by leading the crowd in chants of “Death, death, to the IDF,” referring to the Israel Defense Forces. He also complained about working for a “f—ing Zionist” during the set.
The video of the performance went viral, sparking outrage across the globe.
The BBC, which streamed the performance live, issued an on‑screen warning but continued its broadcast, prompting criticism by government officials for failing to cut the feed.
Prime Minister Keir Starmer and festival organizers condemned the IDF chant as hate speech and incitement to violence. The Israeli Embassy in London denounced the language as “inflammatory and hateful.”
“Millions of people tuned in to enjoy Glastonbury this weekend across the BBC’s output but one performance within our livestreams included comments that were deeply offensive,” the BBC said in a statement following the event.
“These abhorrent chants, which included calls for the death of members of the Israeli Defense Forces … have no place in any civil society,” Leo Terrell, Chair of the US Department of Justice Task Force to Combat Antisemitism, declared Sunday in a statement posted on X.
Citing the act’s US tour plans, Terrell said his task force would be “reaching out to the U.S. Department of State on Monday to determine what measures are available to address the situation and to prevent the promotion of violent antisemitic rhetoric in the United States.”
British authorities, meanwhile, have launched a formal investigation into Bob Vylan’s controversial appearance at Glastonbury. Avon and Somerset Police confirmed they are reviewing footage and working with the Crown Prosecution Service to determine whether the performance constitutes a hate crime or incitement to violence.
United Talent Agency (UTA), one of the premier entertainment talent agencies, dropped the duo, claming “antisemitic sentiments expressed by the group were utterly unacceptable.”
The band defended their performance on social media as necessary protest, stating that “teaching our children to speak up for the change they want and need is the only way that we make this world a better place.”
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Dem House Leader Hakeem Jeffries Urges Mamdani to ‘Aggressively Address’ Antisemitism in NYC if Elected Mayor
Rep. Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY). Photo: Wikimedia Commons.
US House Democratic leader Rep. Hakeem Jeffries (NY) urged Democratic nominee for mayor of New York Zohran Mamdani to “aggressively address the rise in antisemitism” if he wins the general election in November.
“‘Globalizing the intifada’ by way of example is not an acceptable phrasing,” Jeffries said Sunday on ABC’s This Week. “He’s going to have to clarify his position on that as he moves forward.”
“With respect to the Jewish communities that I represent, I think our nominee is going to have to convince folks that he is prepared to aggressively address the rise in antisemitism in the city of New York, which has been an unacceptable development,” he added.
Jeffries’s comments come as Mamdani has been receiving an onslaught of criticism for defending the controversial phrase “globalize the intifada.”
Mamdani first defended the phrase during an appearance on the popular Bulwark Podcast. The progressive firebrand stated that he feels “less comfortable with the banning of certain words.” He invoked the US Holocaust Museum in his defense, saying that the museum used the word intifada “when translating the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising into Arabic, because it’s a word that means ‘struggle.’”
The Holocaust Museum repudiated Mamdani in a statement, calling his comments “offensive.”
Mamdani has continued to defend the slogan despite ongoing criticism, arguing that pro-Palestine advocates perceive it as a call for “universal human rights.”
Mamdani, the 33‑year‑old state assembly member and proud democratic socialist, defeated former New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo and other candidates in a lopsided first‑round win in the city’s Democratic primary for mayor, notching approximately 43.5 percent of first‑choice votes compared to Cuomo’s 36.4 percent.
The election results have alarmed members of the local Jewish community, who expressed deep concern over his past criticism of Israel and defense of antisemitic rhetoric.
“Mamdani’s election is the greatest existential threat to a metropolitan Jewish population since the election of the notorious antisemite Karl Lueger in Vienna,” Rabbi Marc Schneier, one of the most prominent Jewish leaders in New York City, said in a statement. “Jewish leaders must come together as a united force to prevent a mass Jewish Exodus from New York City.”
Some key Democratic leaders in New York, such as US Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer and Gov. Kathy Hochul, have congratulated and complimented Mamdani, but have not yet issued an explicit endorsement. Each official has signaled interest in meeting with Mamdani prior to making a decision on a formal endorsement.
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Israel Eyes Ties With Syria and Lebanon After Iran War
Israeli Foreign Minister Gideon Saar attends a press conference with German Foreign Minister Johann Wadephul (not pictured) in Berlin, Germany, June 5, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Christian Mang
Israel is interested in establishing formal diplomatic relations with long-standing adversaries Syria and Lebanon, but the status of the Golan Heights is non-negotiable, Israeli Foreign Minister Gideon Saar said on Monday.
Israeli leaders argue that with its rival Iran weakened by this month’s 12-day war, other countries in the region have an opportunity to forge ties with Israel.
The Middle East has been upended by nearly two years of war in Gaza, during which Israel also carried out airstrikes and ground operations in Lebanon targeting Iran-backed Hezbollah, and by the overthrow of former Syrian leader and Iran ally Bashar al-Assad.
In 2020, the United Arab Emirates, Bahrain, and Morocco became the first Arab states to establish ties with Israel since Jordan in 1994 and Egypt in 1979. The normalization agreements with Israel were deeply unpopular in the Arab world.
“We have an interest in adding countries such as Syria and Lebanon, our neighbors, to the circle of peace and normalization, while safeguarding Israel‘s essential and security interests,” Saar said at a press conference in Jerusalem.
“The Golan will remain part of the State of Israel,” he said.
Israel annexed the Golan Heights in 1981 after capturing the territory from Syria during the 1967 Six-Day War. While much of the international community regards the Golan as occupied Syrian land, US President Donald Trump recognized Israeli sovereignty over it during his first term in office.
Following Assad’s ousting, Israeli forces moved further into Syrian territory.
A senior Syrian official, speaking on condition of anonymity, said Syria would never give up the Golan Heights, describing it as an integral part of Syrian territory.
The official also said that normalization efforts with Israel must be part of the 2002 Arab Peace Initiative and not carried out through a separate track.
A spokesperson for Syria‘s foreign ministry did not immediately respond to a Reuters request for comment.
The 2002 initiative proposed Arab normalization with Israel in exchange for its withdrawal from territories including the Golan Heights, the West Bank, and Gaza. It also called for the establishment of an independent Palestinian state with East Jerusalem as its capital.
Throughout the war in Gaza, regional power Saudi Arabia has repeatedly said that establishing ties with Israel was conditional on the creation of an independent Palestinian state.
Israel‘s Saar said it was “not constructive” for other states to condition normalization on Palestinian statehood.
“Our view is that a Palestinian state will threaten the security of the State of Israel,” he said.
In May, Reuters reported that Israel and Syria‘s new Islamist rulers had established direct contact and held face-to-face meetings aimed at de-escalating tensions and preventing renewed conflict along their shared border.
The same month, US President Donald Trump announced the US would lift sanctions on Syria and met Syria‘s new president, urging him to normalize ties with Israel.
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