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Purim, and the Masks Our Students Wear
An empty classroom. Photo: Wiki Commons.
For many children — and adults — one of the most exciting elements of Purim is the opportunity to dress up in costumes. When wearing a costume, or more specifically a mask, one can pretend to be different people and try on different character traits for the day.
Sometimes, however, a mask is used to conceal and hide what is underneath.
But what about the invisible masks that children wear daily in the halls of our schools and classrooms? What are they trying to conceal?
In our 18 years working closely with Jewish day schools and observing students in schools across the country, we have observed the many ways children try to disguise their struggles by donning a mask to hide what is really going on beneath the surface. These masks are a silent call for help, their way of coping. As educators, we need to look beneath the mask to figure out what they are trying to communicate.
A recent case in one of our participating schools involved a fourth-grade student named Emma (not her real name). Emma often acted out, addressing her fellow students and teachers with violent comments, drawing graphically disturbing images, and intentionally shocking her classmates.
Such behavior is often dismissed as a sign that a student is “mentally unfit for a mainstream classroom,” with teachers and administrators insisting that the child find a different framework or school to address their issues.
But the truth is that this child was not mentally ill. Far from it. Beneath her violent speech and “outrageous” behavior, our teacher discovered that this student was compensating for severe learning disabilities, including dyslexia and dysgraphia. Through work with one of our coaches, the school recognized that Emma was an extremely bright student who had been masking her academic struggles with disruptive behavior to compensate and divert attention from the real problem.
Understanding the root cause of her actions helped the school shift its approach from counseling her out of the school to implementing strategies and support systems to help her succeed. Emma was able to remove the mask and thrive in school.
Johnny, another child we observed in a different school, is a third grader who regularly complained to his teacher that he was being picked on by his classmates. After taking the time to observe the child, our teacher was able to determine that the child didn’t have the necessary skills to engage his fellow classmates. With our coach’s guidance, the teacher began creatively working with the child to build up his social cognition skills, allowing him to see how small changes in his own behavior can make a positive impact on how others perceived him.
There are also cases where children are acting out because they are being mistreated at home — again, a sign that a mask is concealing what is truly happening beneath the surface, outside the vision of polite society.
“Behavior communicates and we have to figure out what they are trying to communicate” explains Hollis Dannaham, a learning expert.
Through observing and working with students in the classroom and elsewhere, we can find and embrace the hidden spark within each child and create opportunities for each student to shine. When we find ways to meet the needs of diverse learners, to allow our students to take off their masks and be comfortable in their own skin, the entire class environment can change for the better.
Answering that call is not always easy, particularly for teachers standing in front of a full classroom of students, each with his or her individual needs, talents and sometimes learning obstacles. But the Purim story, full of hidden motives and hidden identities, reminds us to peel back the layers and remove the masks so that we can hear what struggling students are trying to say and help them succeed.
Debbie Niderberg serves as Executive Director of Hidden Sparks. Rabbi Elisha Hus serves as Director of School Services for Hidden Sparks.
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Love Thy Neighbor as Thyself. Really?
JNS.org – If I asked you to name the most famous line in the Bible, what would you answer? While Shema Yisrael (“Hear O’Israel”) might get many votes, I imagine that the winning line would be “love thy neighbor as thyself” (Leviticus 19:18). Some religions refer to it as the Golden Rule, but all would agree that it is fundamental to any moral lifestyle. And it appears this week in our Torah reading, Kedoshim.
This is quite a tall order. Can we be expected to love other people as much as we love ourselves? Surely, this is an idealistic expectation. And yet, the Creator knows us better than we know ourselves. How can His Torah be so unrealistic?
The biblical commentaries offer a variety of explanations. Some, like Rambam (Maimonides), say that the focus should be on our behavior, rather than our feelings. We are expected to try our best or to treat others “as if” we genuinely love them.
Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi, in his classic text called the Tanya, argues that the actual feelings of love are, in fact, achievable provided that we focus on a person’s spirituality rather than how they present themselves physically. If we can put the soul over the body, we can do it.
Allow me to share the interpretation of the Ramban (Nachmanides), a 13th-century Torah scholar from Spain. His interpretation of the verses preceding love thy neighbor is classic and powerful, yet simple and straightforward.
“Do not hate your brother in your heart. You shall rebuke him, but do not bear a sin because of him” by embarrassing him in public. “Do not take revenge, and do not bear a grudge against your people. You shall love your fellow as yourself, I am God” (Leviticus 19:17-18).
What is the connection between these verses? Why is revenge and grudge-bearing in the same paragraph as love your fellow as yourself?
A careful reading shows that within these two verses are no less than six biblical commandments. But what is their sequence all about, and what is the connection between them?
The Ramban explains it beautifully, showing how the sequence of verses is deliberate and highlighting the Torah’s profound yet practical advice on how to maintain healthy relationships.
Someone wronged you? Don’t hate him in your heart. Speak to him. Don’t let it fester until it bursts, and makes you bitter and sick.
Instead, talk it out. Confront the person. Of course, do it respectfully. Don’t embarrass anyone in public, so that you don’t bear a sin because of them. But don’t let your hurt eat you up. Communicate!
If you approach the person who wronged you—not with hate in your heart but with respectful reproof—one of two things will happen. Either he or she will apologize and explain their perspective on the matter. Or that it was a misunderstanding and will get sorted out between you. Either way, you will feel happier and healthier.
Then you will not feel the need to take revenge or even to bear a grudge.
Here, says the Ramban, is the connection between these two verses. And if you follow this advice, only then will you be able to observe the commandment to Love Thy Neighbor. If you never tell him why you are upset, another may be completely unaware of his or her wrongdoing, and it will remain as a wound inside you and may never go away.
To sum up: Honest communication is the key to loving people.
Now, tell me the truth. Did you know that not taking revenge is a biblical commandment? In some cultures in Africa, revenge is a mitzvah! I’ve heard radio talk-show hosts invite listeners to share how they took “sweet revenge” on someone, as if it’s some kind of accomplishment.
Furthermore, did you know that bearing a grudge is forbidden by biblical law?
Here in South Africa, people refer to a grudge by its Yiddish name, a faribel. In other countries, people call it a broiges. Whatever the terminology, the Torah states explicitly: “Thou shalt not bear a grudge!” Do not keep a faribel, a broiges or resentment of any kind toward someone you believe wronged you. Talk to that person. Share your feelings honestly. If you do it respectfully and do not demean the other’s dignity, then it can be resolved. Only then will you be able to love your fellow as yourself.
May all our grudges and feelings of resentment toward others be dealt with honestly and respectfully. May all our grudges be resolved as soon as possible. Then we will all be in a much better position to love our neighbors as ourselves.
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‘Nonsense’: Huckabee Shoots Down Report Trump to Endorse Palestinian Statehood
US Ambassador to Israel Mike Huckabee looks on during the day he visits the Western Wall, Judaism’s holiest prayer site, in Jerusalem’s Old City, April 18, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Ronen Zvulun
i24 News – US Ambassador to Israel Mike Huckabee on Saturday dismissed as nonsensical the report that President Donald Trump would endorse Palestinian statehood during his tour to the Persian Gulf this week.
“This report is nonsense,” Huckabee harrumphed on his X account, blasting the Jerusalem Post as needing better sourced reporting. “Israel doesn’t have a better friend than the president of the United States.”
Trump is set to visit Saudi Arabia, Qatar, and the United Arab Emirates. The leader’s first trip overseas since he took office comes as Trump seeks the Gulf countries’ support in regional conflicts, including the Israel-Hamas war in Gaza and curbing Iran’s advancing nuclear program.
However, reports citing administration insiders claimed that Trump has also set his sights on the ambitious goal of expanding the Abraham Accords. These agreements, initially signed in 2020, normalized relations between Israel and the UAE, Bahrain, Morocco, and Sudan. The accords are widely held to be among the most important achievements of the first Trump administration.
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US to Put Military Option Back on Table If No Immediate Progress in Iran Talks
US President Donald Trump’s Middle East envoy-designate Steve Witkoff gives a speech at the inaugural parade inside Capital One Arena on the inauguration day of Trump’s second presidential term, in Washington, DC, Jan. 20, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Carlos Barria
i24 News – Unless significant progress is registered in Sunday’s round of nuclear talks with Iran, the US will consider putting the military option back on the table, sources close to US envoy Steve Witkoff told i24NEWS.
American and Iranian representatives voiced optimism after the previous talks that took place in Oman and Rome, saying there was a friendly atmosphere despite the two countries’ decades of enmity.
However the two sides are not believed to have thrashed out the all-important technical details, and basic questions remain.
The source has also underscored the significance of the administration’s choice of Michael Anton, the State Department’s policy planning director, as the lead representative in the nuclear talks’ technical phases.
Anton is “an Iran expert and someone who knows how to cut a deal with Iran,” the source said, saying that the choice reflected Trump’s desire to secure the deal.
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