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When Judaism didn’t offer rituals for a stillbirth, a grieving couple created their own
(JTA) — On Nov. 29, 2021, Ilan and Sherri Glazer announced to the public that they were expecting a baby after three rounds of IVF.
The following day, during their 20-week ultrasound, they learned that their baby’s brain wasn’t forming properly. Multiple scans and visits with other doctors confirmed that their long-awaited baby’s condition was not compatible with a good quality of life, and the couple made the difficult decision to terminate at 26 weeks.
They named the baby Shemaryah, meaning “God watches over.” The name comes from Psalm 121, which the couple sang every night during the pregnancy before going to sleep. They continued singing the psalm following the 20-week checkup, and sang it once more at Shemaryah’s funeral.
Two years later, Ilan Glazer, a rabbi and musician, is releasing an album inspired by his family’s experience, with lyrics drawn from Jewish liturgy, including poems and psalms. The melodies came to him throughout the IVF process, while most of the words emerged as he and Sherri grieved the loss of their son.
Now, Ilan hopes his album, “Gam Ki Elech: Turning Our Sorrows Into Songs,” might provide solace to others in cases where Jewish liturgy, law and custom are limited in what they can provide for parents experiencing the early loss of a child.
Glazer said it was particularly painful that the local Jewish burial society declined to wash Shemaryah’s body following his death — a ritual known as tahara — because he was less than 30 days old. Jewish law does not require traditional mourning or burial practices for a baby who lived fewer than 30 days.
Instead, the Glazers spent the Shabbat following the stillbirth ritually preparing Shemaryah’s body for burial with assistance from friends.
“The worst thing that you can tell a family just after a loved one has died is, ‘We’re not going to help you,’” Ilan said. “And that was especially jarring.”
He added, “Grief over child loss is not widely discussed in the Jewish community.”
“One of the hardest parts of stillbirth,” said Rabbi Idit Solomon, CEO of Hasidah, a group that provides grants and support for Jewish families undergoing IVF, is that “we have advanced emotionally and societally and the Jewish community is still kind of religiously immature and theologically immature.”
Historians and anthropologists say there is a compassionate — and also pragmatic — motivation behind a tradition that does not mourn stillbirth and miscarriage with the rigorous rituals applied to the death of an older child or adult.
“Until the 20th century, you had very high infant mortality rates,” said Michal Raucher, associate professor of Jewish Studies at Rutgers University. “If we instituted all of the mourning rituals that we have for a child or an adult for every miscarriage and stillbirth, for every infant that died in the first couple of weeks of life, people would be in mourning all the time.”
The decline in infant mortality and other advances in neonatology have led families to seek new rituals. While saying the Mourner’s Kaddish for a stillborn baby might be rare, Raucher says in recent years she has seen more informal and online communities emerge to connect members of the Jewish community who have experienced stillbirth and miscarriages. Community members are typically willing to bring a meal to the house of a family mourning a stillbirth or a late miscarriage, replicating “some of the ways that the Jewish community supports people who have experienced loss,” Raucher said.
In 1998, a “grieving ritual following miscarriage or stillbirth” was included in “Lifecycles,” a landmark book of new Jewish rituals created by and for Jewish women. In her 2007 study “Inventing Jewish Rituals,” religion scholar Vanessa Ochs writes that new rites developed since the 1970s surrounding miscarriage, stillbirths, infertility and abortion “mark events linked to women’s bodily experiences that previously have not evoked formal Jewish responses.”
When the Glazers opened up to their rabbi, it led him to discuss the subject from the synagogue pulpit, recounting in sermons how the mothers in the early Genesis stories dealt with their own challenges in conceiving, Sherri Glazer said.
But, she said, “it doesn’t help that those same Bible stories that talk about women struggling end with the women ultimately having kids.”
“The Jewish community can definitely do better,” she added. “I think that’s why we’re speaking out. This is our experience. This is who we are.”
In addition to choosing their own Jewish mourning rituals, Sherri Glazer created a mosaic, the concept for the design appearing to her in something like a vision.
“I kept having this imagery show up in my dreams of Shemaryah in the clouds, of him playing ball, of him being a kid,” she told JTA. “And that image really stuck with me. It showed up more than once.”
On Shemaryah’s first yahrzeit, the anniversary of his death, she hung up the mosaic behind the family’s Shabbat candles. The commandment to “keep” and “remember” the Sabbath, shamor v’zachor — corresponding with the Shabbat candles — shares a root with Shemaryah’s name.
On Friday nights, the Glazers say the blessing for the children to connect with Shemaryah, even though he’s not there.
“He’s very much part of our ritual lives,” Sherri said.
Acknowledging the loss publicly, both parents say, has been crucial to their grieving process, and made it clear to their community members this is not something they would keep silent about — especially since so much of Jewish community life is predicated on childrearing.
After they announced the death of their son, multiple Jewish couples reached out to the Glazers saying they had also experienced a miscarriage or stillbirth or pregnancy termination, and they created a Facebook group for this community.
“We decided that, not entirely for selfish purposes, but we needed to hear from other couples about how they had gone through it, because there was so little material out there for us from a Jewish perspective,” Ilan Glazer said. “Obviously, everybody’s story is a little bit different, but how do you go forward? How do you talk about the death of one child to another child? How do you mark the anniversary of a death? There are things that only those who have faced this have to think about and it’s been very meaningful to have that place.”
In addition to the Facebook group and their synagogue community, the Glazers hope to have plenty of opportunity to discuss what family looks like after loss. Sherri is pregnant again, due in March. (The couple chose embryo donation after learning that Ilan has a mild version of the same syndrome that caused Shemaryah’s brain condition and could pass it on to another child.)
“It’s even harder to plan for a new baby after having a loss like we had. Until this baby is actually here in our arms, it’s really hard to really even envision them being here,” Sherri said. “It is clear to both of us that we want them to know about Shemaryah, that Shemaryah will always be their big brother.”
Much like with their rounds of IVF and as with Shemaryah, music and Jewish ritual played a big role in this pregnancy.
Sherri and Ilan went to the mikveh, or ritual pool, before the embryo transfer, and for Jewish inspiration consulted a fertility guide from Mayyim Hayyim, a Boston-based mikveh and spirituality center. It was there that Sherri found a verse in English that she wanted as their next song.
While the song won’t be on the 13-track album, Ilan performed it at the close of the album release show two weeks ago at Beth Am Baltimore, the Conservative synagogue where he and Sherri are members.
“I want this to be a healing experience,” Ilan, who is also an addiction recovery coach, said. “Every time I share these melodies with others, people tell me that it allows them to process grief that they’ve been carrying, in some cases, for many years. And I’m truly honored by that.”
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Argentine Jews Express Outrage After Venezuela’s Maduro Blasts Argentina Government as ‘Nazi and Zionist’
Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro speaks during a march amid the disputed presidential election, in Caracas, Venezuela, Aug. 3, 2024. Photo: REUTERS/Maxwell Briceno
The Jewish community in Argentina lambasted Venezuelan leader Nicolás Maduro this week after he described Argentina’s government as “Nazi and Zionist” while addressing on ongoing dispute between the two countries over the arrest of an Argentine military officer in Venezuela.
“A terrorist like this famous Argentine has been captured. The Nazi and Zionist government of Argentina wants us to award him a decoration,” Maduro said during an event on Wednesday in Caracas, the Venezuelan capital.
Maduro was addressing the situation of Nahuel Gallo, a corporal in Argentina’s Gendarmería security force who was arrested in Venezuela last month and charged with terrorism. The socialist Venezuelan government accused Gallo of “being part of a group of people who tried to commit destabilizing and terrorist acts [in Venezuela] with the support of international far-right groups.”
Argentina is currently governed by the right-wing administration of President Javier Milei, whose security minister, Patricia Bullrich, described the charges as “another lie” by Venezuela’s government and said that Gallo should be returned to Argentina “immediately.”
Gallo’s relatives said that he had traveled to Venezuela to visit his wife, who is Venezuelan and was reportedly in the country to spend time with her mother.
Venezuela broke diplomatic relations with Argentina in August after Milei and several other Latin American leaders refused to recognize Maduro’s reelection in July. While Argentina’s diplomats were expelled, some Venezuelan opposition activists, who had sought refuge at the ambassador’s residence to avoid arrest, have since then remained in the building, having been denied safe passage in Venezuela and seeking political asylum in Argentina.
On Monday, Maduro accused Gallo of being part of a plot to assassinate his vice president, Delcy Rodríguez. The next day, Venezuelan opposition leader María Corina Machado said that Gallo is being held “hostage” by Maduro’s government.
Against this backdrop, Argentina’s Jewish umbrella organization, the Delegation of Argentine Israelite Associations (DAIA), on Thursday released a statement slamming Maduro for using the term “Nazi and Zionist” to describe their government.
“In the context of the conflict with Argentina over the gendarme Nahuel Gallo detained in Venezuela, Nicolás Maduro called the government of our country ‘Nazi and Zionist.’ The phrase not only trivializes the tragedy of the Holocaust, diminishing its importance and impact, but also refers to Zionism as a disqualifying insult, even though it represents the legitimate existence of the State of Israel,” the DAIA said in its statement.
“At the same time,” the group continued, “it reveals the violent characteristics of the dictatorial regime that has subjected the Venezuelan people to slavery for years. It does so by exercising terror and oppression on those who fight to reestablish the path of democracy. DAIA condemns Maduro’s violent expressions and expresses its support for those who seek to live in a free and pluralistic society in which human rights are respected.”
Maduro has regularly used antisemitic rhetoric during his time in power in Venezuela. In August, for example, he blamed “international Zionism” for the protests against his reign following the country’s July 28 elections after which he claimed victory despite widespread suspicions of foul play.
The “extremist right,” referring to his opposition, “is supported by international Zionism,” Maduro claimed in an address at the time. “All the communication power of Zionism, who controls all social networks, the satellites, and all the power behind this coup d’état.”
Deborah Lipstadt, the US special envoy to monitor and combat antisemitism, called Maduro’s claims “absurd,” “antisemitic,” and “unacceptable.”
Maduro has been in power since 2013 and has overseen a dramatic economic decline in Venezuela. Redirecting personal failures as the fault of Jews, or, in this case, “international Zionism,” has long been a tactic of antisemites looking for a scapegoat.
Protests and unrest erupted in Venezuela after the presidential election in July, when Maduro’s government was accused by his political opposition, outside observers, and foreign governments of committing fraud to secure a victory.
Nonetheless, Maduro on Friday began his third term as Venezuela’s president, despite US Secretary of State Antony Blinken referring to his “illegitimate presidential inauguration in Venezuela” as a “desperate attempt” to seize power.
“The Venezuelan people and world know the truth — Maduro clearly lost the 2024 presidential election and has no right to claim the presidency,” Blinken said in a statement. “The United States rejects the National Electoral Council’s fraudulent announcement that Maduro won the presidential election and does not recognize Nicolás Maduro as the president of Venezuela.”
Edmundo González Urrutia should have been sworn in as the Venezuelan president, according to the US State Department.
Israeli Foreign Minister Gideon Sa’ar agreed, posting on X/Twitter that the Jewish state “expresses concern over the political persecution and arbitrary arrests by the regime and joins the call of many in the international community to restore freedom and democracy in Venezuela.”
“Today, Jan. 10, Edmundo González Urrutia, the elected president of Venezuela, who won the presidential elections by a significant majority, was supposed to be inaugurated,” Sa’ar added. “However, the election results are not being respected, and his inauguration is not taking place. The ruler, Nicolás Maduro, an ally of Iran, must honor the will of the people in his country.”
In Argentina, meanwhile, Milei has expressed admiration for Judaism and support for Israel. He appointed Rabbi Axel Wahnish, who has served as his spiritual advisor for the last two years, as Argentina’s ambassador to Israel and has studied Torah and other Jewish texts. The Catholic Milei has previously said that were it not for the duties of his office, which require him to work on the Sabbath and on Jewish holidays, he would convert to Judaism.
Argentina has become a key player in organizing efforts to combat antisemitism in recent months. In July, for example, more than 30 countries led by the United States adopted “global guidelines for countering antisemitism” during a gathering of special envoys and other representatives from around the globe in Argentina.
The gathering came one day before Argentina’s Jewish community commemorated the 30th anniversary of the 1994 targeted bombing of the Argentine Israelite Mutual Association (AMIA) Jewish community center in Buenos Aires. Milei promised to right decades of inaction and inconsistencies in the investigations into the attack.
In April, Argentina’s top criminal court blamed Iran for the attack, saying it was carried out by Hezbollah terrorists responding to “a political and strategic design” by Iran.
Iran is the chief international sponsor of Hamas, providing the terror group with weapons, funding, and training.
The post Argentine Jews Express Outrage After Venezuela’s Maduro Blasts Argentina Government as ‘Nazi and Zionist’ first appeared on Algemeiner.com.
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Tlaib Sports Palestinian Keffiyeh at Carter Funeral, Thanks Late President for ‘Speaking Out Against Apartheid’
US Rep. Rashida Tlaib (D-MI) addresses attendees as she takes part in a protest calling for a ceasefire in Gaza outside the US Capitol, in Washington, DC, US, Oct. 18, 2023. Photo: REUTERS/Leah Millis
US Rep. Rashida Tlaib (D-MI), one of the most strident opponents of Israel in Congress, wore a Palestinian keffiyeh to the funeral of former President Jimmy Carter, commemorating the late American leader’s advocacy against so-called “apartheid” in the Jewish state.
“Rest in peace, President Jimmy Carter. It was an honor to be there with your family. I wore my Palestinian keffiyeh to show my gratitude for your courageous stance in speaking out against apartheid and standing up for peace,” Tlaib posted on X/Twitter, along with a picture of her keffyeh.
Rest in peace, President Jimmy Carter. It was an honor to be there with your family. I wore my Palestinian keffiyeh to show my gratitude for your courageous stance in speaking out against apartheid and standing up for peace. pic.twitter.com/Vf0XLN2BtJ
— Rashida Tlaib (@RashidaTlaib) January 9, 2025
The keffiyeh, a traditional Arab headscarf, has become known as a symbol of solidarity with the Palestinian cause and opposition to Israel since the outbreak of the war in Gaza in October 2023.
High-profile politicians, including all five living US presidents, attended Carter’s funeral at the National Cathedral in Washington, DC on Thursday. The former president died on Dec. 29, 2024 at 100 years old due to heart failure.
Over the past couple of decades, Carter’s public commentary on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict has ruffled feathers among supporters of the Jewish state. In 2006, Carter raised eyebrows after publishing a book titled, Palestine: Peace Not Apartheid, which condemned Israel for constructing settlements in the West Bank and accused the Jewish state of constructing a racially-discriminatory political regime.
In 2009, Carter traveled to the Middle East and held meetings with leaders of the Palestinian terrorist group Hamas. Critics noted that he did not criticize Hamas leadership during his meeting and praised the terrorists as being “frank and honest.”
In 2015, Carter further incensed proponents of the Jewish state when he seemingly defended senior Hamas leader Khaled Mashal and argued that the terrorist group was not an obstacle to peace in the region.
“I don’t believe that [Mashal’s] a terrorist. He’s strongly in favor of the peace process,” Carter said at the time.
“I don’t see that deep commitment on the part of [Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin] Netanyahu to make concessions which [former Prime Minister] Menachem Begin did to find peace with his potential enemies,” Carter continued.
Since entering Congress, Tlaib has positioned herself as one of the most vocal anti-Israel critics in US politics. Tlaib, the first Palestinian American woman to serve in the House of Representatives, has repeatedly used her platform to lodge condemnations against Israel.
The congresswoman has accused Israel of committing “apartheid” against Palestinians. In the year following Hamas’s massacre across southern Israel last Oct. 7, Tlaib has smeared the Jewish state’s defensive military operations as a “genocide,” calling on US President Joe Biden to force a “ceasefire” between Israel and the terrorist group and implement an “arms embargo” against the Jewish state.
On Thursday, Tlaib slammed the House for passing a bill which would sanction members of the International Criminal Court (ICC) over its issuing of arrest warrants for Netanyahu and his former defense minister, Yoav Gallant
“What’s their top priority the first week of the new Congress? Lowering costs? Addressing the housing crisis? No, it’s sanctioning the International Criminal Court to protect genocidal maniac Netanyahu so he can continue the genocide in Gaza,” Tlaib wrote on social media.
The post Tlaib Sports Palestinian Keffiyeh at Carter Funeral, Thanks Late President for ‘Speaking Out Against Apartheid’ first appeared on Algemeiner.com.
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Sydney Synagogue Daubed in Antisemitic Graffiti in Latest Attack on Australian Jews
Southern Sydney Synagogue in the suburb of Allawah, Australia, was vandalized with antisemitic graffiti on Jan. 10, 2024. Photo: Screenshot
A synagogue in Sydney was daubed in antisemitic graffiti on Friday, police said, the latest in a spate of incidents targeting Jews in Australia.
Police will deploy a special task force to investigate the attack on the Southern Sydney Synagogue in the suburb of Allawah that happened in the early hours of Friday morning, New South Wales state Police Assistant Commissioner Peter McKenna told a news conference.
“The people who do the sort of thing should realize we will be out in force to look for them; we will catch them and prosecute them,” he said.
Television footage showed multiple swastikas painted on the building, along with a message reading “Hitler on top.”
“[There is] no place in Australia, our tolerant multicultural community, for this sort of criminal activity,” Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese told a news conference.
The incident is the latest in a series of antisemitic incidents in Australia in the last year, including multiple incidents of graffiti on buildings and cars in Sydney, as well as arson attack on a synagogue in Melbourne that police have ruled as terrorism.
Australia has seen an increase in antisemitic and Islamophobic incidents since Hamas attacked Israel in October 2023 and Israel launched its war against the Palestinian terrorist group in Gaza. Some Jewish organizations have said the government has not taken sufficient action in response.
The country launched a task force last month following the Melbourne synagogue blaze, focusing on threats, violence, and hatred towards the Australian Jewish community.
Australia’s ice hockey federation said on Tuesday it had cancelled a planned international qualifying tournament due to safety concerns, with local media reporting the decision was linked to the participation of the Israeli national team.
The post Sydney Synagogue Daubed in Antisemitic Graffiti in Latest Attack on Australian Jews first appeared on Algemeiner.com.
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