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I am a single rabbi without children. I shouldn’t be made to feel I am not ‘doing my part.’
(JTA) — I recently attended a bris in my community where the mohel announced to the new parents and the whole room, “Raising this child is the most important and impactful thing you will ever do.”
These words were offered to anchor the already exhausted and overwhelmed couple in the sanctity of the job they are embarking upon; the holiness of shaping a person into adulthood; the pride in doing something meaningful and lasting.
At the same time, these are the sentiments that form the foundation of parents’ guilt when they have to work or when they choose to be with friends and not their children. They create the basis of self-recrimination when a child struggles and the parent is made to feel they are to blame. They foment anxiety over not enjoying aspects of parenthood or feeling lonely or isolated in the endless exhaustion of rearing children.
These are also the words that shame those of us who have no children.
The year I turned 30, I was not on any identifiable path to parenthood. I was, however, in rabbinical school and deeply committed to the ways I could and would serve the Jewish people as a rabbi. Until rabbinical school, I experienced my own private grief about not having a partner or kids, but no one had ever imposed those feelings on me or pressured me on my timeline.
As part of a counseling course in rabbinical school, I was assigned a reading where I learned that 13.9% of married women ages 30-34 experience infertility (a percentage that only increases after 35). Thirty years later, the author who shared this data did so again at an all-school gathering, reminding us that women pursuing education were largely responsible for the decline in Jewish population, since the ideal age for a woman to get pregnant is 22. He added, in essence, “Don’t come crying to me when you finish your education and realize you missed your window.”
I was shocked by his callousness and also by the overt implication that delaying parenthood for the sake of education was damaging to the Jewish people — an assertion, overt and implied, reached by many Jewish social scientists, as others have pointed out. Apparently, nothing I could do as a rabbi would ever have the same impact on Jewish peoplehood and the Jewish future as producing babies above “replacement level.”
While the presentation surprised me, the idea that the ideal role of anyone with a uterus is to bear children is embedded in our scripture and liturgy. Even the way many of us have chosen to add women into the daily amidah prayer to make it more egalitarian attests to this role: Three times a day we chant, “magen Avraham u’foked Sarah,” that God is the one who shields Abraham and remembers Sarah. This line about remembering Sarah refers to the moment when God undid Sarah’s barrenness, giving her a child (Genesis 21:1). Every time we recite these prayers we are reifying the idea that a woman’s relationship with God is directly linked to her fertility.
According to the medieval sage Maimonides, “Whoever adds even one Jewish soul it is considered as creating an entire world.” How many times do I have to sit on a beit din, or rabbinical court, before the number of conversions I witness adds up to a child? How many weddings and b’nei mitzvah and tot Shabbats and hospital visits and adult education classes? This is math I should not have to do as a rabbi or as a woman. It is not math we should ask of anyone.
I know I am not alone among my peers in expressing frustration around such rhetoric. If we truly believe that a person’s value is derived from being created b’tzelem elohim, in the image of the Divine, then we need to demonstrate this in the ways we speak and teach about parenthood and fertility, celebrating the role and value of an individual within a community with no correlation to the number of children they raise, how they parent, or how those children connect to Judaism.
While there are plenty of sources in Jewish literature and a range of sociological data that offer all kinds of reasons that Jews should “be fruitful and multiply” — often expressed with urgency after the devastation of the Holocaust — the Torah, our most ancient and sacred text, also presents a model for what it means to be a person without a child who makes a tremendous impact on the Jewish future.
According to the most straightforward reading of the Torah, Miriam, the daughter of Yocheved, sister of Aaron and Moses, does not marry and does not bear children. And yet, Miriam played a crucial role in ensuring the possibility of a Jewish future. She was the sister who watched over Moses as he floated in a basket, the girl who connected Moses’ adoptive mother with his birth mother, and the prophet who led the women in joyous dancing when the Israelites finally attained freedom.
In a recent conversation, Rabbi Rachel Zerin of Beth El Temple in West Hartford, Connecticut, pointed out that what is powerful about Miriam is that she appears content with her life. Unlike most of the women we encounter in the Hebrew Bible who do not have children, we never see Miriam praying for a child; she is never described as barren or unfulfilled and yet she is instrumental in securing the Israelites’ — our — freedom.
Through this lens, we can understand that the Torah offers us many models of a relationship to parenthood: Some of us may yearn for it and ultimately find joy in it, some of us may experience ambivalence around bringing children into the world, some of us may encounter endless obstacles to conceive or adopt, some of us may struggle with parenting the children we have, some of us many not want to be parents at all, and some of us may experience all of these at different times.
Like Miriam who fearlessly added her voice to the public conversation, we, too, can add more voices to the conversation about Jewish continuity that counteract the relentless messaging that raising children into Jewish adulthood is the most consequential thing we might do.
Yes, parenting can be miraculous and beautiful, something we should continue to celebrate. But we each have so many gifts to offer the Jewish people — our communities just need to create space for all of us to contribute in a broad variety of ways, by making fewer assumptions and speaking about parenthood with more nuance, expansiveness and compassion.
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Europe Should Focus on Own Security as Global Threats Mount, Dutch Intelligence Agency Says
Police officers stand outside a Jewish school following an explosion that caused minor damages, in Amsterdam, Netherlands, March 14, 2026. Photo: REUTERS/Piroschka van de Wouw
Europe must take greater responsibility for its own security, the Dutch military intelligence agency MIVD said on Tuesday, citing pressure on long-standing Western alliances and China’s support for Russia’s war in Ukraine.
The comment by MIVD Director Peter Reesink accompanied the release of its annual report for 2025.
“The international system we have relied on for decades – with institutions acting as guardians of rules and agreements – is under pressure,” Reesink said in a statement. “It is precisely in this space, where rules blur and power becomes more decisive, that threats grow. Europe must increasingly take responsibility for its own security.”
Spillover from other conflicts including the US-Venezuelan conflict and tensions in the Middle East posed threats to the Netherlands and its interests, the MIVD said in a report published on Tuesday. It also warned about the growing risks of Chinese cybersecurity attacks, which the agency expects to increase this year.
The report comes amidst heightened tensions between NATO and US President Donald Trump, who has threatened to leave the alliance due to its reluctance to join the US-Israeli war with Iran.
Reesink told journalists in The Hague that the Netherlands still has a strong relationship with the United States. At the same time, he said there is an increased push by European agencies to strengthen cooperation and rely less on what the Dutch intelligence agency called “unpredictable” politics in Washington.
“Europe needs to stand on its own two feet. That applies for the defence sector … and also for the intelligence community,” he said.
The greatest security threat to the Netherlands remains the conflict in Ukraine – Europe‘s largest since World War Two – he said, citing military cooperation between North Korea, China, Iran, and Russia.
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Eight Arrested as UK Police Probe Suspected Antisemitic Arson Attacks
A member of Shomrim, a community security patrol group operating in Jewish neighborhoods, stands on a road near emergency vehicles at the scene, after four ambulances belonging to Hatzola, a Jewish community organization, were set on fire in an incident that the police say is being treated as an antisemitic hate crime, in northwest London, Britain, March 23, 2026. Photo: REUTERS/Isabel Infantes
British counter-terrorism police said on Tuesday they had arrested eight people in an investigation into a series of suspected arson attacks in London, including an alleged plot targeting a venue linked to the Jewish community.
Seven of the arrests were made within the past 48 hours as part of a probe into a suspected conspiracy to commit arson, the police statement said.
While they did not identify a specific venue, police said an intended target was connected to the Jewish community.
The arrests come as British police have been investigating a string of attacks on Jewish-linked sites in the capital, part of a wider rise in threats and criminal activity since the outbreak of the Israel-Hamas war in Gaza in October 2023.
UK security officials have warned that Iran has sought to use criminal proxies to carry out hostile activity in the UK, and the pro-Iranian group Harakat Ashab al-Yamin al-Islamiyya has claimed some of the latest attacks on social media.
Police made no connection between the group and the latest arrests.
SERIES OF INCIDENTS TARGETING JEWISH SITES IN LONDON
In the latest operations, police said detectives had arrested three men aged 24, 25, and 26 in Harpenden, north of London, on Sunday evening before releasing them on bail.
On Monday, a 25-year-old man had been arrested in Stevenage, north of London, while a 26-year-old and two women aged 50 and 59 had been arrested in a vehicle near the central English city of Birmingham and taken to a London police station, where they remained in custody.
On Tuesday morning, officers arrested a 39-year-old man at an address in west London under Britain’s Terrorism Act 2000. Police said the arrest had been linked to an investigation after jars containing a non-hazardous substance had been found in Kensington Gardens in central London last week. Searches were continuing at a premises in east London, officers added.
Separately, a 17-year-old British teenage boy pleaded guilty on Tuesday to arson not endangering life, the BBC reported, following an attack on a synagogue in north London over the weekend. The fire caused minor damage and no injuries.
Since an attack last month on several ambulances belonging to a Jewish charity, counter-terrorism police said they had arrested 23 people.
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EU Divided on Suspension of Israel Pact as Spain Pushes for Action
Spanish Foreign Minister Jose Manuel Albares, Norway’s Foreign Minister Espen Barth Eide, and Ireland’s Foreign Minister Micheal Martin hold a press conference in Brussels, Belgium, May 27, 2024. Photo: REUTERS/Johanna Geron
European countries including Spain and Ireland pushed on Tuesday to suspend a pact governing the EU‘s ties with Israel but failed to garner enough support from the bloc’s other members for any action.
Arriving at an EU foreign ministers’ meeting in Luxembourg, a number of ministers called for suspending or partially suspending the pact over concerns about settlements in the West Bank, the humanitarian situation in Gaza, and a new death penalty law.
“Today, Europe’s credibility is at stake,” Spain‘s Foreign Minister Jose Manuel Albares told reporters, calling for a discussion on suspending the association agreement, which came into force in 2000.
But member countries have diverging positions as to whether – and how – to shift the bloc’s policies on Israel.
Speaking after the ministers’ discussions, EU foreign policy chief Kaja Kallas said there was not sufficient support to suspend the agreement, but that discussions on the relationship with Israel would continue.
“I didn’t see the shifting of positions in the room regarding the suspension,” she said in a press conference.
Kallas said she would bring up ideas raised by ministers with the EU‘s trade commissioner.
GERMANY CALLS FOR DIALOGUE
The European Commission proposed in September suspending some trade-related provisions of the association agreement, an arrangement affecting about 5.8 billion euros of Israeli exports. Israel said at the time the proposals were “morally and politically distorted.”
Suspending the trade arrangement would require a qualified majority vote among EU governments – the support of 15 out of 27 EU members representing 65% of the EU population. A full suspension of the association agreement would require a unanimous decision from all member countries.
Germany and Italy indicated they were sticking to their existing positions.
Berlin remains committed to creating the conditions for a two-state solution with the Palestinians “but this must be done through critical, constructive dialogue with Israel,” German Foreign Minister Johann Wadephul told reporters.
TRADING PARTNER
Ministers from countries including Ireland and Belgium pushed for a shift in the EU‘s policy.
However, Belgian Foreign Minister Maxime Prevot added that Belgium was “aware that a full suspension is probably out of reach given the positions of the various European countries.”
The European Union is Israel‘s biggest trading partner, with trade in goods between the two amounting to 42.6 billion euros in 2024, according to the EU.
The EU also has proposals on the table to impose sanctions on violent settlers and Israeli ministers it deems to be extremist.
These proposals require unanimous backing from member countries, with diplomats hoping that the measures targeting violent settlers could move ahead once a new Hungarian government comes in to office in May. Israel has blamed settler attacks on a “fringe minority.”
Sweden and France circulated a paper ahead of Tuesday’s meeting calling for the EU to take stronger action to limit commercial engagement with settlements.
Much of the international community considers Israeli settlements in the West Bank illegal under international law.
Israel disputes this, citing historical and biblical ties to the area. It says the settlements provide strategic depth and security. Defenders of Israel also note that, while about one-fifth of the country’s population is Arab and enjoys equal rights, Palestinian law forbids selling any land to Israelis.