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I am a single rabbi without children. I shouldn’t be made to feel I am not ‘doing my part.’
(JTA) — I recently attended a bris in my community where the mohel announced to the new parents and the whole room, “Raising this child is the most important and impactful thing you will ever do.”
These words were offered to anchor the already exhausted and overwhelmed couple in the sanctity of the job they are embarking upon; the holiness of shaping a person into adulthood; the pride in doing something meaningful and lasting.
At the same time, these are the sentiments that form the foundation of parents’ guilt when they have to work or when they choose to be with friends and not their children. They create the basis of self-recrimination when a child struggles and the parent is made to feel they are to blame. They foment anxiety over not enjoying aspects of parenthood or feeling lonely or isolated in the endless exhaustion of rearing children.
These are also the words that shame those of us who have no children.
The year I turned 30, I was not on any identifiable path to parenthood. I was, however, in rabbinical school and deeply committed to the ways I could and would serve the Jewish people as a rabbi. Until rabbinical school, I experienced my own private grief about not having a partner or kids, but no one had ever imposed those feelings on me or pressured me on my timeline.
As part of a counseling course in rabbinical school, I was assigned a reading where I learned that 13.9% of married women ages 30-34 experience infertility (a percentage that only increases after 35). Thirty years later, the author who shared this data did so again at an all-school gathering, reminding us that women pursuing education were largely responsible for the decline in Jewish population, since the ideal age for a woman to get pregnant is 22. He added, in essence, “Don’t come crying to me when you finish your education and realize you missed your window.”
I was shocked by his callousness and also by the overt implication that delaying parenthood for the sake of education was damaging to the Jewish people — an assertion, overt and implied, reached by many Jewish social scientists, as others have pointed out. Apparently, nothing I could do as a rabbi would ever have the same impact on Jewish peoplehood and the Jewish future as producing babies above “replacement level.”
While the presentation surprised me, the idea that the ideal role of anyone with a uterus is to bear children is embedded in our scripture and liturgy. Even the way many of us have chosen to add women into the daily amidah prayer to make it more egalitarian attests to this role: Three times a day we chant, “magen Avraham u’foked Sarah,” that God is the one who shields Abraham and remembers Sarah. This line about remembering Sarah refers to the moment when God undid Sarah’s barrenness, giving her a child (Genesis 21:1). Every time we recite these prayers we are reifying the idea that a woman’s relationship with God is directly linked to her fertility.
According to the medieval sage Maimonides, “Whoever adds even one Jewish soul it is considered as creating an entire world.” How many times do I have to sit on a beit din, or rabbinical court, before the number of conversions I witness adds up to a child? How many weddings and b’nei mitzvah and tot Shabbats and hospital visits and adult education classes? This is math I should not have to do as a rabbi or as a woman. It is not math we should ask of anyone.
I know I am not alone among my peers in expressing frustration around such rhetoric. If we truly believe that a person’s value is derived from being created b’tzelem elohim, in the image of the Divine, then we need to demonstrate this in the ways we speak and teach about parenthood and fertility, celebrating the role and value of an individual within a community with no correlation to the number of children they raise, how they parent, or how those children connect to Judaism.
While there are plenty of sources in Jewish literature and a range of sociological data that offer all kinds of reasons that Jews should “be fruitful and multiply” — often expressed with urgency after the devastation of the Holocaust — the Torah, our most ancient and sacred text, also presents a model for what it means to be a person without a child who makes a tremendous impact on the Jewish future.
According to the most straightforward reading of the Torah, Miriam, the daughter of Yocheved, sister of Aaron and Moses, does not marry and does not bear children. And yet, Miriam played a crucial role in ensuring the possibility of a Jewish future. She was the sister who watched over Moses as he floated in a basket, the girl who connected Moses’ adoptive mother with his birth mother, and the prophet who led the women in joyous dancing when the Israelites finally attained freedom.
In a recent conversation, Rabbi Rachel Zerin of Beth El Temple in West Hartford, Connecticut, pointed out that what is powerful about Miriam is that she appears content with her life. Unlike most of the women we encounter in the Hebrew Bible who do not have children, we never see Miriam praying for a child; she is never described as barren or unfulfilled and yet she is instrumental in securing the Israelites’ — our — freedom.
Through this lens, we can understand that the Torah offers us many models of a relationship to parenthood: Some of us may yearn for it and ultimately find joy in it, some of us may experience ambivalence around bringing children into the world, some of us may encounter endless obstacles to conceive or adopt, some of us may struggle with parenting the children we have, some of us many not want to be parents at all, and some of us may experience all of these at different times.
Like Miriam who fearlessly added her voice to the public conversation, we, too, can add more voices to the conversation about Jewish continuity that counteract the relentless messaging that raising children into Jewish adulthood is the most consequential thing we might do.
Yes, parenting can be miraculous and beautiful, something we should continue to celebrate. But we each have so many gifts to offer the Jewish people — our communities just need to create space for all of us to contribute in a broad variety of ways, by making fewer assumptions and speaking about parenthood with more nuance, expansiveness and compassion.
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The post I am a single rabbi without children. I shouldn’t be made to feel I am not ‘doing my part.’ appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
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Israel Issues Veiled Warning to Turkey as Countries Clash Over Gaza Role
Turkish President Tayyip Erdogan attends a press conference with German Chancellor Friedrich Merz at the Presidential Palace in Ankara, Turkey, Oct. 30, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Umit Bektas
Israeli Defense Minister Israel Katz on Tuesday warned regional powers — in an apparent swipe at Turkey — to abandon any ambitions of restoring an empire, as tensions mount over postwar reconstruction in Gaza and competing efforts to assert regional influence.
At a joint press conference with Greek Defense Minister Nikos Dendias in Athens, Katz said Israel was determined “not to allow actors seeking to undermine regional stability to establish a foothold through terrorism, aggression, or military proxies — in Syria, in Gaza, in the Aegean Sea, or in any other arena.”
“Those who dream of dragging the region backward, establishing control through terror, or rebuilding empires at the expense of sovereign states will encounter a resolute alliance of free, strong nations capable of defending themselves,” Katz continued.
Last week, US President Donald Trump announced the establishment of the “Gaza Board of Peace” as part of his administration’s 20-point peace plan intended to end the war in Gaza and advance the process into phase two.
Despite vocal opposition from Israel, Trump has invited Turkey — along with Egypt, Argentina, and several other countries — to take part in his newly created initiative.
Israeli officials have repeatedly rejected any Turkish role in Gaza’s postwar reconstruction, warning that Ankara’s push to expand its regional influence could bolster Hamas’s terrorist infrastructure. Turkey has been a longtime backer of Hamas, the Palestinian terrorist group that ruled Gaza before the war and currently controls just over 40 percent of the enclave’s territory.
Beyond now holding a seat on the Board of Peace, Turkey, a NATO ally, is also seeking a role in a multinational force expected to be deployed to the war-torn enclave to oversee reconstruction efforts, prompting Israeli warnings that Ankara could use its position to shield Hamas from disarmament.
Multiple media outlets reported that Turkish President Tayyip Erdogan has yet to decide whether to accept Trump’s invitation to join the US-led initiative in Gaza, with the country’s participation in the international force still uncertain.
On Monday, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu vowed that neither Turkish nor Qatari forces would be allowed in Gaza under the US-backed postwar reconstruction bodies, acknowledging a “certain dispute” with Washington over the issue.
“Turkish or Qatari soldiers will not be in the Strip,” the Israeli leader said in a speech to the Knesset.
Qatar and Turkey “are barely members of an advisory committee of one of the three commissions, in which they don’t have any authority or any influence or any soldiers,” Netanyahu continued.
Even as talks advance on phase two of Trump’s peace plan, Netanyahu stressed that Israel is still awaiting the return of slain hostage Ran Gvili’s remains, as stipulated in the first stage of the agreement.
“Phase two means one simple thing: Hamas will be disarmed, and Gaza will be demilitarized,” he said. “We are committed to these goals, and they will be achieved, either the hard way or the easy way.”
Under Trump’s Gaza peace plan, the international board of peace would oversee an interim technocratic Palestinian government in the enclave, supported for at least two years by an International Stabilization Force (ISF).
The ISF — comprising troops from multiple participating countries — will oversee the Gaza ceasefire between Israel and Hamas, train local security forces, secure Gaza’s borders with Israel and Egypt, and protect civilians while maintaining humanitarian corridors.
In addition, the ISF would seemingly be expected to take on the responsibility of disarming Hamas — a key component of Trump’s peace plan to end the war in Gaza which the Palestinian terrorist group has repeatedly rejected.
Earlier this month, Erdogan warned that the ISF would fail to earn the trust of the Palestinian people without Turkey’s involvement, signaling Ankara’s determination to assert influence over Gaza’s postwar future.
“It would be impossible for any mechanism to gain the trust of the Palestinian people without Turkey’s involvement,” the Turkish leader said.
“We are in a key position for such a mission due to our deep historical ties with the Palestinian side, the security and diplomacy channels we have maintained with Israel in the past, and our regional influence as a NATO member country,” he continued.
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An activist criticized Miami Beach’s Jewish mayor on Facebook — then police came knocking
Miami Beach’s Jewish mayor and his police chief are facing blowback after detectives questioned a local activist over a Facebook post in which she accused the mayor of endorsing violence against Palestinians.
Two weeks ago, Raquel Pacheco commented on a Facebook post by Mayor Steven Meiner, in which he wrote that Miami Beach “is a safe haven for everyone.” He compared Miami Beach with New York City, which he said was “intentionally removing protections against select groups, including promoting boycotts of Israeli/Jewish businesses.”
“The guy who consistently calls for the death of all Palestinians, tried to shut down a theater for showing a movie that hurt his feelings, and REFUSES to stand up for the LGBTQ community in any way (even leaves the room when they vote on related matters) wants you to know that you’re all welcome here. 🤡🤡🤡” Pacheco commented.
Five days later, police showed up at Pacheco’s door.
Pacheco recorded the encounter, which showed a detective telling her the Facebook post “can probably incite someone to do something radical,” and that Pacheco should “refrain from posting things like that because that could get something incited.”
“This is freedom of speech,” Pacheco told the officer. “This is America, right?”
Pacecho later acknowledged Meiner hadn’t explicitly called for the death of all Palestinians, but told Axios that she viewed Meiner’s public support for Israel as amounting to an endorsement of genocide.
In a statement, Miami Beach Police Chief Wayne Jones said he “had serious concerns that her remarks could trigger physical action by others,” in the context of “the real, ongoing national and international concerns surrounding antisemitic attacks and recent rhetoric that has led to violence against political figures.”
Jones added that “at no time did the mayor or any other official direct me to take action.” Meiner’s office did not respond to the Forward’s request for comment.
The video of the encounter has gone viral on social media, with many commenters expressing disbelief at what they view as a clear misuse of police power.
“Wtf,” conservative media personality Megyn Kelly posted to X alongside the video.
The free speech advocacy group FIRE called the incident “offensive to the First Amendment,” arguing that the Facebook post fell short of the legal threshold to be considered incitement.
‘One-sided propaganda’
This isn’t the first time Miami Beach has cracked down on speech related to Israel.
In March, Meiner threatened to evict and defund a movie theater that scheduled screenings of No Other Land, an Oscar-winning documentary about a group of Israeli and Palestinian activists trying to save a village in the West Bank from demolition.
Meiner called the film “a one-sided propaganda attack on the Jewish people.” He ultimately backed away from his resolution to revoke the theater’s lease from the city after it became clear the City Commission would not vote for his proposal.
A year earlier, in response to pro-Palestinian protests, Meiner sponsored legislation that made it a criminal offense for anyone to obstruct a street or sidewalk after being ordered to leave by police.
At a City Commission meeting discussing the ordinance, Meiner muted the microphone of two Jewish residents who opposed the legislation and were speaking out against Israel’s conduct in Gaza.
“This is a nonpartisan commission meeting, and I’m not going to allow you to debase and lie about the Israeli government,” Meiner said.
From Yeshiva of Flatbush to Miami Beach mayor
Meiner was raised in an Orthodox Jewish family in Brooklyn, where he attended Yeshiva of Flatbush. His father worked for the Internal Revenue Service and his mother was a public school teacher and guidance counselor.
Meiner attended Brooklyn College and Brooklyn Law School, moving to Miami Beach in 2007 to work as a lawyer for the Securities and Exchange Commission. He left that job amid accusations of unwanted sexual advances toward colleagues. Meiner denied the allegations and said he believed they were motivated by his colleagues’ antagonism to his staunch pro-Israel stance.
In 2019, Meiner won a seat on the City Commission of Miami Beach, and in 2023, was elected mayor of Miami Beach, which is a nonpartisan office. He has branded himself as the “law and order mayor” and encouraged New Yorkers to move to Florida after the election of Mayor Zohran Mamdani.
An estimated 20% of households in Miami Beach are Jewish, according to a 2024 survey by the Greater Miami Jewish Federation, with a higher percentage of Jews there feeling a strong emotional connection to Israel than the national average.
That background shapes Meiner’s approach to leadership. In September, Meiner appeared on the podcast “Standpoint with Gabe Groisman” and spoke about his experience governing as an Orthodox Jew, including how he responds when confronted with opposition.
“There are people who tell me, ‘Just let them speak. Don’t even counter them.’ That, to me, is not wise,” Meiner said. “They can have their free speech, but people need to be educated and know when something is vile and antisemitic.”
The post An activist criticized Miami Beach’s Jewish mayor on Facebook — then police came knocking appeared first on The Forward.
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Syria Gives Kurds Four Days to Accept Integration as US Signals End of Support
Syrian Democratic Forces (SDF) fighters walk near an armored vehicle, following clashes between SDF and Syrian government forces, in Hasakah, Syria, Jan. 20, 2026. Photo: REUTERS/Orhan Qereman
Syria on Tuesday announced a ceasefire with Kurdish forces it has seized swathes of territory from in the northeast and gave them four days to agree on integrating into the central state, which their main ally, the United States, urged them to accept.
The lightning government advances in recent days and the apparent withdrawal of US support for the continued holding of territory by the Syrian Democratic Forces represent the biggest change of control in the country since rebels ousted Bashar al-Assad 13 months ago.
US envoy Tom Barrack in a social media post described the offer of integration into the central Syrian state with citizenship rights, cultural protections, and political participation as the “greatest opportunity” the Kurds have.
He added that the original purpose of the SDF, which Washington had supported as its main local ally battling Islamic State, had largely expired, and that the US had no long-term interest in retaining its presence in Syria.
The United States is monitoring with “grave concern” developments in Syria, a White House official said, and urged all relevant parties to continue negotiating in “good faith.”
“We urge all parties to exercise maximum restraint, avoid actions that could further escalate tensions, and prioritize the protection of civilians across all minority groups,” the White House official said.
FOUR-DAY CEASEFIRE
The SDF said it accepted a ceasefire agreement with the Damascus government and that it would not engage in any military action unless attacked.
A Syrian government statement said it had reached an understanding with the SDF for it to devise an integration plan for Hasakah province or risk state forces entering two SDF-controlled cities.
The government announced a four-day ceasefire starting on Tuesday evening and said it had asked the SDF to submit the name of a candidate to take the role of assistant to the defense minister in Damascus as part of the integration.
Northeast Syria, wedged between Turkey and Iraq, is home to both Kurds and Arabs and was largely overrun by Islamic State fighters a decade ago before the SDF drove them back with air support from a US-led coalition.
However, advances by the SDF’s main component, the Kurdish YPG force, were concerning to US ally Turkey, which regarded it as an offshoot of the PKK group that had waged a years-long insurgency inside Turkey.
Since Assad was overthrown in December 2024, Syria has been led by former rebel leader Ahmed al-Sharaa, who at one stage controlled the al Qaeda offshoot in the country, and who has emerged as a close ally of Turkey.
Northeast Syria remains sensitive to Ankara, and is of wider international concern because of the presence of SDF-guarded facilities holding thousands of detained Islamic State militants and civilians associated with them.
ISLAMIC STATE DETAINEES
About 200 low-level Islamic State fighters escaped Shaddadi prison in northeast Syria on Monday when the SDF departed, but Syrian government forces recaptured many of them, a US official said on Tuesday.
The Syrian Interior Ministry said on Tuesday that about 120 Islamic State detainees escaped, 81 of whom had been recaptured.
The SDF said it had also withdrawn from al-Hol camp housing thousands of civilians linked to the jihadist group near the Iraqi border.
A senior Syrian government defense official said Damascus had notified the US of the SDF intention to withdraw from the vicinity of al-Hol camp and that government forces were ready to deploy there.
The SDF has previously said it was guarding some 10,000 IS fighters.
Syrian military sources said government troops had advanced on Tuesday in eastern areas of Hasakah province and south of the town of Kobani on the border with Turkey.
The SDF remains in control of Hasakah City, the provincial capital, which is ethnically mixed between Kurds and Arabs, and the Kurdish-majority city of Qamishli.
The government statement said it would not try to enter Hasakah or Qamishli cities during the four days it had given the SDF to outline a plan for integrating into the Syrian state.
MONTHS OF DEADLOCK
Tensions between the SDF and Damascus spilled into conflict this month after deadlock over the fate of the group’s fighters and territory as it resisted government demands to dissolve into the defense ministry.
On Sunday the SDF agreed to withdraw from the Arab-majority provinces of Raqqa and Deir al-Zor, and on Monday government forces pushed into Hasakah province.
Reports indicated that SDF commander Mazloum Abdi and Sharaa held a rocky meeting on Monday, after Abdi’s signature appeared on a 14-point agreement with the government.
The United States, which has established close ties with Sharaa under President Donald Trump, has been closely involved in mediation between the sides.