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I am a single rabbi without children. I shouldn’t be made to feel I am not ‘doing my part.’
(JTA) — I recently attended a bris in my community where the mohel announced to the new parents and the whole room, “Raising this child is the most important and impactful thing you will ever do.”
These words were offered to anchor the already exhausted and overwhelmed couple in the sanctity of the job they are embarking upon; the holiness of shaping a person into adulthood; the pride in doing something meaningful and lasting.
At the same time, these are the sentiments that form the foundation of parents’ guilt when they have to work or when they choose to be with friends and not their children. They create the basis of self-recrimination when a child struggles and the parent is made to feel they are to blame. They foment anxiety over not enjoying aspects of parenthood or feeling lonely or isolated in the endless exhaustion of rearing children.
These are also the words that shame those of us who have no children.
The year I turned 30, I was not on any identifiable path to parenthood. I was, however, in rabbinical school and deeply committed to the ways I could and would serve the Jewish people as a rabbi. Until rabbinical school, I experienced my own private grief about not having a partner or kids, but no one had ever imposed those feelings on me or pressured me on my timeline.
As part of a counseling course in rabbinical school, I was assigned a reading where I learned that 13.9% of married women ages 30-34 experience infertility (a percentage that only increases after 35). Thirty years later, the author who shared this data did so again at an all-school gathering, reminding us that women pursuing education were largely responsible for the decline in Jewish population, since the ideal age for a woman to get pregnant is 22. He added, in essence, “Don’t come crying to me when you finish your education and realize you missed your window.”
I was shocked by his callousness and also by the overt implication that delaying parenthood for the sake of education was damaging to the Jewish people — an assertion, overt and implied, reached by many Jewish social scientists, as others have pointed out. Apparently, nothing I could do as a rabbi would ever have the same impact on Jewish peoplehood and the Jewish future as producing babies above “replacement level.”
While the presentation surprised me, the idea that the ideal role of anyone with a uterus is to bear children is embedded in our scripture and liturgy. Even the way many of us have chosen to add women into the daily amidah prayer to make it more egalitarian attests to this role: Three times a day we chant, “magen Avraham u’foked Sarah,” that God is the one who shields Abraham and remembers Sarah. This line about remembering Sarah refers to the moment when God undid Sarah’s barrenness, giving her a child (Genesis 21:1). Every time we recite these prayers we are reifying the idea that a woman’s relationship with God is directly linked to her fertility.
According to the medieval sage Maimonides, “Whoever adds even one Jewish soul it is considered as creating an entire world.” How many times do I have to sit on a beit din, or rabbinical court, before the number of conversions I witness adds up to a child? How many weddings and b’nei mitzvah and tot Shabbats and hospital visits and adult education classes? This is math I should not have to do as a rabbi or as a woman. It is not math we should ask of anyone.
I know I am not alone among my peers in expressing frustration around such rhetoric. If we truly believe that a person’s value is derived from being created b’tzelem elohim, in the image of the Divine, then we need to demonstrate this in the ways we speak and teach about parenthood and fertility, celebrating the role and value of an individual within a community with no correlation to the number of children they raise, how they parent, or how those children connect to Judaism.
While there are plenty of sources in Jewish literature and a range of sociological data that offer all kinds of reasons that Jews should “be fruitful and multiply” — often expressed with urgency after the devastation of the Holocaust — the Torah, our most ancient and sacred text, also presents a model for what it means to be a person without a child who makes a tremendous impact on the Jewish future.
According to the most straightforward reading of the Torah, Miriam, the daughter of Yocheved, sister of Aaron and Moses, does not marry and does not bear children. And yet, Miriam played a crucial role in ensuring the possibility of a Jewish future. She was the sister who watched over Moses as he floated in a basket, the girl who connected Moses’ adoptive mother with his birth mother, and the prophet who led the women in joyous dancing when the Israelites finally attained freedom.
In a recent conversation, Rabbi Rachel Zerin of Beth El Temple in West Hartford, Connecticut, pointed out that what is powerful about Miriam is that she appears content with her life. Unlike most of the women we encounter in the Hebrew Bible who do not have children, we never see Miriam praying for a child; she is never described as barren or unfulfilled and yet she is instrumental in securing the Israelites’ — our — freedom.
Through this lens, we can understand that the Torah offers us many models of a relationship to parenthood: Some of us may yearn for it and ultimately find joy in it, some of us may experience ambivalence around bringing children into the world, some of us may encounter endless obstacles to conceive or adopt, some of us may struggle with parenting the children we have, some of us many not want to be parents at all, and some of us may experience all of these at different times.
Like Miriam who fearlessly added her voice to the public conversation, we, too, can add more voices to the conversation about Jewish continuity that counteract the relentless messaging that raising children into Jewish adulthood is the most consequential thing we might do.
Yes, parenting can be miraculous and beautiful, something we should continue to celebrate. But we each have so many gifts to offer the Jewish people — our communities just need to create space for all of us to contribute in a broad variety of ways, by making fewer assumptions and speaking about parenthood with more nuance, expansiveness and compassion.
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The post I am a single rabbi without children. I shouldn’t be made to feel I am not ‘doing my part.’ appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
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A chat in Yiddish with filmmaker Pearl Gluck
וואָס געשעט ווען אַ יונגע פֿרוי פֿאָרט זוכן אַ פֿאַרלוירענע געבענטשטע חסידישע סאָפֿע אין אונגערן, און געפֿינט דווקא אַ נײַעם קונסטוועג וואָס ברענגט ייִדיש אין קינאָ אַרײַן און דערבײַ הייבט זי אָן אַ הצלחהדיקע פֿילם־קאַריערע?
באַקענט זיך אויף אַ זומישן שמועס אויף ייִדיש מיט פּראָפֿ׳ פּערל גליק — אַ פֿילמאָגראַפֿקע וואָס איז דערצויגן געוואָרן בײַ אַ חסידישער משפּחה — זונטיק, דעם 23סטן נאָוועמבער, 1:30 נאָך מיטאָג ניו־יאָרקער צײַט.
הײַנט איז גליק אַ פּראָפֿעסאָרין פֿון פֿילם־פּראָדוקציע בײַ פּען־סטייט־אוניווערסיטעט, און די גרינדערין פֿון Palinka Pictures. זי שאַפֿט דאָקומענטאַלע און נאַראַטיווע פֿילמען, אין וועלכע זי וועבט צונויף ייִדיש־לשון מיט די טעמעס זכּרון, משפּחה און דאָס דערציילן פּערזענלעכע געשיכטעס.
דער אינטערוויו, וואָס וועט געפֿירט ווערן דורך אלי בענעדיקט, ווערט געשטיצט פֿון דער ייִדיש־ליגע.
גליקס פֿילמען האָט מען שוין געוויזן אינעם Film Forum און אויף PBS, ווי אויך אין פּראָגראַמען פֿאַרבונדן מיט דעם „קאַן־קינאָ־פֿעסטיוואַל“. צווישן אירע באַקאַנטסטע פֿילמען זענען: „דיוואַן“, Where is Joel Baum און „שלעסער אינעם הימל“.
בענעדיקט וועט שמועסן מיט איר וועגן איר שאַפֿערישן פּראָצעס, ווי ייִדיש שפּילט אַ ראָלע אין אירע פֿילמען, און די געשיכטע הינטער געוויסע סצענעס. מע וועט אויך ווײַזן קורצע אויסצוגן צו פֿאַרטיפֿן דעם שמועס.
כּדי זיך צו פֿאַרשרײַבן אויף דער פּראָגראַם, גיט אַ קוועטש דאָ.
The post A chat in Yiddish with filmmaker Pearl Gluck appeared first on The Forward.
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UN Says Israeli Wall Crosses Lebanon Border
The United Nations headquarters building is pictured though a window with the UN logo in the foreground in the Manhattan borough of New York, Aug. 15, 2014. Photo: REUTERS/Carlo Allegri
A survey conducted by the United Nations Interim Force in Lebanon last month found that a wall built by the Israeli military crosses the Blue Line, the de facto border, a U.N. spokesperson said on Friday
The Blue Line is a U.N.-mapped line separating Lebanon from Israel and the Israeli-occupied Golan Heights.
Stephane Dujarric, the spokesperson for the U.N. secretary-general, said the concrete T-wall erected by the IDF has made more than 4,000 square meters (nearly an acre) of Lebanese territory inaccessible to the local population.
A section of an additional wall, which has also crossed the Blue Line, is being erected southeast of Yaroun, he said, citing the peacekeepers.
Dujarric said UNIFIL informed the Israeli military of its findings and requested that the wall be removed.
“Israeli presence and construction in Lebanese territory are violations of Security Council resolution 1701 and of Lebanon’s sovereignty and territorial integrity,” UNIFIL said in a separate statement.
An Israeli military spokesperson denied the wall crossed the Blue Line.
“The wall is part of a broader IDF plan whose construction began in 2022. Since the start of the war, and as part of lessons learned from it, the IDF has been advancing a series of measures, including reinforcing the physical barrier along the northern border,” the spokesperson said.
UNIFIL, established in 1978, operates between the Litani River in the north and the Blue Line in the south. The mission has more than 10,000 troops from 50 countries and about 800 civilian staff, according to its website.
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Hamas Quietly Reasserts Control in Gaza as Post-War Talks Grind On
Palestinians buy vegetables at a market in Nuseirat, central Gaza Strip, November 13, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Mahmoud Issa
From regulating the price of chicken to levying fees on cigarettes, Hamas is seeking to widen control over Gaza as US plans for its future slowly take shape, Gazans say, adding to rivals’ doubts over whether it will cede authority as promised.
After a ceasefire began last month, Hamas swiftly reestablished its hold over areas from which Israel withdrew, killing dozens of Palestinians it accused of collaborating with Israel, theft or other crimes. Foreign powers demand the group disarm and leave government but have yet to agree who will replace them.
Now, a dozen Gazans say they are increasingly feeling Hamas control in other ways. Authorities monitor everything coming into areas of Gaza held by Hamas, levying fees on some privately imported goods including fuel as well as cigarettes and fining merchants seen to be overcharging for goods, according to 10 of the Gazans, three of them merchants with direct knowledge.
Ismail Al-Thawabta, head of the media office of the Hamas government, said accounts of Hamas taxing cigarettes and fuel were inaccurate, denying the government was raising any taxes.
ANALYST SEES HAMAS ENTRENCHING
The authorities were only carrying out urgent humanitarian and administrative tasks whilst making “strenuous efforts” to control prices, Thawabta said. He reiterated Hamas’ readiness to hand over to a new technocratic administration, saying it aimed to avoid chaos in Gaza: “Our goal is for the transition to proceed smoothly.”
Hatem Abu Dalal, owner of a Gaza mall, said prices were high because not enough goods were coming into Gaza. Government representatives were trying to bring order to the economy – touring around, checking goods and setting prices, he said.
Mohammed Khalifa, shopping in central Gaza’s Nuseirat area, said prices were constantly changing despite attempts to regulate them. “It’s like a stock exchange,” he said.
“The prices are high. There’s no income, circumstances are difficult, life is hard, and winter is coming,” he said.
US President Donald Trump’s Gaza plan secured a ceasefire on October 10 and the release of the last living hostages seized during the Hamas-led October 7, 2023 attacks on Israel.
The plan calls for the establishment of a transitional authority, the deployment of a multinational security force, Hamas’ disarmament, and the start of reconstruction.
But Reuters, citing multiple sources, reported this week that Gaza’s de facto partition appeared increasingly likely, with Israeli forces still deployed in more than half the territory and efforts to advance the plan faltering.
Nearly all of Gaza’s 2 million people live in areas controlled by Hamas, which seized control of the territory from President Mahmoud Abbas’ Palestinian Authority (PA) and his Fatah Movement in 2007.
Ghaith al-Omari, a senior fellow at the Washington Institute think-tank, said Hamas’ actions aimed to show Gazans and foreign powers alike that it cannot be bypassed.
“The longer that the international community waits, the more entrenched Hamas becomes,” Omari said.
US STATE DEPARTMENT: HAMAS ‘WILL NOT GOVERN’
Asked for comment on Gazans’ accounts of Hamas levying fees on some goods, among other reported activities, a US State Department spokesperson said: “This is why Hamas cannot and will not govern in Gaza.”
A new Gaza government can be formed once the United Nations approves Trump’s plan, the spokesperson said, adding that progress has been made towards forming the multinational force.
The PA is pressing for a say in Gaza’s new government, though Israel rejects the idea of it running Gaza again. Fatah and Hamas are at odds over how the new governing body should be formed.
Munther al-Hayek, a Fatah spokesperson in Gaza, said Hamas actions “give a clear indication that Hamas wants to continue to govern.”
In the areas held by Israel, small Palestinian groups that oppose Hamas have a foothold, a lingering challenge to it.
Gazans continue to endure dire conditions, though more aid has entered since the ceasefire.
THEY ‘RECORD EVERYTHING’
A senior Gazan food importer said Hamas hadn’t returned to a full taxation policy, but they “see and record everything.”
They monitor everything that enters, with checkpoints along routes, and stop trucks and question drivers, he said, declining to be identified. Price manipulators are fined, which helps reduce some prices, but they are still much higher than before the war began and people complain they have no money.
Hamas’ Gaza government employed up to 50,000 people, including policemen, before the war. Thawabta said that thousands of them were killed, and those remaining were ready to continue working under a new administration.
Hamas authorities continued paying them salaries during the war, though it cut the highest, standardizing wages to 1,500 shekels ($470) a month, Hamas sources and economists familiar with the matter said. It is believed that Hamas drew on stockpiled cash to pay the wages, a diplomat said.
The Hamas government replaced four regional governors who were killed, sources close to Hamas said. A Hamas official said the group also replaced 11 members of its Gaza politburo who died.
Gaza City activist and commentator Mustafa Ibrahim said Hamas was exploiting delays in the Trump plan “to bolster its rule.” “Will it be allowed to continue doing so? I think it will continue until an alternative government is in place,” he said.