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I am a single rabbi without children. I shouldn’t be made to feel I am not ‘doing my part.’
(JTA) — I recently attended a bris in my community where the mohel announced to the new parents and the whole room, “Raising this child is the most important and impactful thing you will ever do.”
These words were offered to anchor the already exhausted and overwhelmed couple in the sanctity of the job they are embarking upon; the holiness of shaping a person into adulthood; the pride in doing something meaningful and lasting.
At the same time, these are the sentiments that form the foundation of parents’ guilt when they have to work or when they choose to be with friends and not their children. They create the basis of self-recrimination when a child struggles and the parent is made to feel they are to blame. They foment anxiety over not enjoying aspects of parenthood or feeling lonely or isolated in the endless exhaustion of rearing children.
These are also the words that shame those of us who have no children.
The year I turned 30, I was not on any identifiable path to parenthood. I was, however, in rabbinical school and deeply committed to the ways I could and would serve the Jewish people as a rabbi. Until rabbinical school, I experienced my own private grief about not having a partner or kids, but no one had ever imposed those feelings on me or pressured me on my timeline.
As part of a counseling course in rabbinical school, I was assigned a reading where I learned that 13.9% of married women ages 30-34 experience infertility (a percentage that only increases after 35). Thirty years later, the author who shared this data did so again at an all-school gathering, reminding us that women pursuing education were largely responsible for the decline in Jewish population, since the ideal age for a woman to get pregnant is 22. He added, in essence, “Don’t come crying to me when you finish your education and realize you missed your window.”
I was shocked by his callousness and also by the overt implication that delaying parenthood for the sake of education was damaging to the Jewish people — an assertion, overt and implied, reached by many Jewish social scientists, as others have pointed out. Apparently, nothing I could do as a rabbi would ever have the same impact on Jewish peoplehood and the Jewish future as producing babies above “replacement level.”
While the presentation surprised me, the idea that the ideal role of anyone with a uterus is to bear children is embedded in our scripture and liturgy. Even the way many of us have chosen to add women into the daily amidah prayer to make it more egalitarian attests to this role: Three times a day we chant, “magen Avraham u’foked Sarah,” that God is the one who shields Abraham and remembers Sarah. This line about remembering Sarah refers to the moment when God undid Sarah’s barrenness, giving her a child (Genesis 21:1). Every time we recite these prayers we are reifying the idea that a woman’s relationship with God is directly linked to her fertility.
According to the medieval sage Maimonides, “Whoever adds even one Jewish soul it is considered as creating an entire world.” How many times do I have to sit on a beit din, or rabbinical court, before the number of conversions I witness adds up to a child? How many weddings and b’nei mitzvah and tot Shabbats and hospital visits and adult education classes? This is math I should not have to do as a rabbi or as a woman. It is not math we should ask of anyone.
I know I am not alone among my peers in expressing frustration around such rhetoric. If we truly believe that a person’s value is derived from being created b’tzelem elohim, in the image of the Divine, then we need to demonstrate this in the ways we speak and teach about parenthood and fertility, celebrating the role and value of an individual within a community with no correlation to the number of children they raise, how they parent, or how those children connect to Judaism.
While there are plenty of sources in Jewish literature and a range of sociological data that offer all kinds of reasons that Jews should “be fruitful and multiply” — often expressed with urgency after the devastation of the Holocaust — the Torah, our most ancient and sacred text, also presents a model for what it means to be a person without a child who makes a tremendous impact on the Jewish future.
According to the most straightforward reading of the Torah, Miriam, the daughter of Yocheved, sister of Aaron and Moses, does not marry and does not bear children. And yet, Miriam played a crucial role in ensuring the possibility of a Jewish future. She was the sister who watched over Moses as he floated in a basket, the girl who connected Moses’ adoptive mother with his birth mother, and the prophet who led the women in joyous dancing when the Israelites finally attained freedom.
In a recent conversation, Rabbi Rachel Zerin of Beth El Temple in West Hartford, Connecticut, pointed out that what is powerful about Miriam is that she appears content with her life. Unlike most of the women we encounter in the Hebrew Bible who do not have children, we never see Miriam praying for a child; she is never described as barren or unfulfilled and yet she is instrumental in securing the Israelites’ — our — freedom.
Through this lens, we can understand that the Torah offers us many models of a relationship to parenthood: Some of us may yearn for it and ultimately find joy in it, some of us may experience ambivalence around bringing children into the world, some of us may encounter endless obstacles to conceive or adopt, some of us may struggle with parenting the children we have, some of us many not want to be parents at all, and some of us may experience all of these at different times.
Like Miriam who fearlessly added her voice to the public conversation, we, too, can add more voices to the conversation about Jewish continuity that counteract the relentless messaging that raising children into Jewish adulthood is the most consequential thing we might do.
Yes, parenting can be miraculous and beautiful, something we should continue to celebrate. But we each have so many gifts to offer the Jewish people — our communities just need to create space for all of us to contribute in a broad variety of ways, by making fewer assumptions and speaking about parenthood with more nuance, expansiveness and compassion.
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The post I am a single rabbi without children. I shouldn’t be made to feel I am not ‘doing my part.’ appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
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Guinness World Records Starts Accepting Israeli Submissions Again Following Legal Pressure
People stand next to flags on the day the bodies of deceased Israeli hostages, Oded Lifschitz, Shiri Bibas, and her two children Kfir and Ariel Bibas, who were kidnapped during the deadly Oct. 7, 2023, attack by Hamas, are handed over under the terms of a ceasefire between Hamas and Israel, in Tel Aviv, Israel, Feb. 20, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Ammar Awad
Guinness World Records (GWR) is once again accepting submissions from Israel and the Palestinian territories, following pressure from an association of British lawyers that claimed the policy was discriminatory and threatened the validity of Guiness’s registered trademarks.
GWR confirmed to UK Lawyers for Israel (UKLFI) via email that it ended its temporary pause on submissions from Israel and the Palestinian territories that was implemented in November 2023, shortly after the start of the war in the Gaza Strip following the Hamas-led Oct. 7 terrorist attack across southern Israel.
The exclusionary policy drew widespread condemnation in early December after Guinness World Records refused to accept a submission from the Israeli NGO Matnat Chaim, which was hoping to set a world record with an event in Jerusalem where 2,000 Israeli kidney donors will gather in one place.
GWR told Matnat Chaim at the time it was “not generally processing” record applications from Israel or the Palestinian territories “with the exception of those done in cooperation with a UN humanitarian aid relief agency.” Guinness denied claims that its policy against submissions from Israel or the Palestinian territories unlawfully excluded and discriminated against Israelis and Palestinians because the policy was based on location, not nationality or ethnicity.
In late December, UKLFI wrote to Guinness and warned that the company could face legal risks because of the policy and that it amounted to indirect discrimination. UKLFI noted that marketing publications under the title “Guinness World Records” while excluding records from in Israel or the Palestinian territories could be considered unfair commercial practice under consumer protection law. The policy could also risk the validity of Guinness’s registered trademarks, according to UKLFI.
Starting Jan. 15, GWR resumed its “routine acceptance” of applications, it told UKLFI in an email shared with The Algemeiner.
“We have continued to monitor the situation in the region carefully, reviewing the policy monthly,” GWR wrote. “The recent ceasefire and the return to a more stable environment have been key factors in these reviews. With these factors in mind … we recommenced our routine acceptance of applications for world records from Israel and the Palestinian Territories, including the application made by the Matnam Chaim charity.”
The company added that the decision to resume processing applications from the region was not an admission that its temporary pause had been unlawful or that its trademarks had been used improperly. Guinness also shared that several records set in Israel had in fact been recognized during the temporary pause. They included records for the fastest robot to solve a rotating puzzle clock, most backward somersault burpees in 30 seconds done by a male, oldest female person to perform a headstand, most sequences completed in a game of “Simon,” and tallest drag performer.
“Guinness World Records’ decision to resume accepting submissions from Israel and the Palestinian territories is welcome,” said UKLFI chief executive Jonathan Turner. “Excluding particular countries carries serious legal and commercial risks. Global organizations cannot present themselves as neutral and inclusive while applying exceptional policies to certain countries, particularly where this misleads consumers and disadvantages entire populations.”
Israeli Foreign Minister Gideon Sa’ar also commented on GWR’s change in policy, celebrating that the massive gathering of kidney donors in Jerusalem will be recognized.
“Two thousand Israeli kidney donors are making the largest donation ever, in a selfless act of solidarity and humanity,” Sa’ar posted on the social media platform X on Monday. “Good to see it finally receive the celebration it deserves by the Guinness World Records, which revoked their original distorted decision to deny Israeli kidney donors their rightful recognition.”
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California Theater Apologizes for Canceling Show by Israeli Comedian After He Refuses to Condemn Home Country
Illustrative: Bondi shooting survivor Chaya Dadon, 14, holds a pendant, in the shape of Israel, and a partial Star of David engraved on it, that she bought a few hours before the shooting in Sydney, Australia, Dec. 19, 2025. Photo: Reuters/Cordelia Hsu
The Fine Arts Theater in Beverly Hills, California apologized for canceling a show by Israeli stand-up comedian Guy Hochman after he declined the venue’s demand to issue a public statement denouncing “genocide, rape, starvation, and torture of Palestinian civilians.”
In a statement posted on Instagram and on the theater’s website over the weekend, Michael S. Hall, president of the Screening Services Group, acknowledged that canceling Hochman’s scheduled appearance on Tuesday at the Fine Arts Theater was poorly handled. He said the venue, which will host screenings as part of the 37th Israel Film Festival in February, has contacted Hochman’s representatives and is open to rescheduling his performance if “it can be done safely.”
The relationship between the theater and the Screening Services Group was not immediately clear.
Hall also admitted that the decision to cancel the show was made after he and the theater received several messages from the public, including threats of violence, related to Hochman’s performance.
“I want to apologize, especially to the Jewish community, for my statement and for how this situation was handled,” Hall wrote. “I understand that my decision caused harm and distress to many people in the community, and I take responsibility for that … I made the decision to cancel the show without giving the matter the careful thought and judgement it required. That was my mistake.”
He also acknowledged it was wrong to ask a performer “to make political or ideological statements as a condition of appearing” and that “imposing a litmus test of any kind was a mistake and should never have happened.”
“The Fine Arts Theater has supported and will continue to support Jewish and Israeli projects, artists, and community events,” Hall added. “I am committed to ensuring the theater remains a place for culture and expression without discrimination. I am already engaging with members of the local Jewish community and will continue to listen, learn, and work with community leaders moving forward.”
Hall’s apology follows a public statement from the venue that said Hochman was banned from the theater after he declined to issue a public statement denouncing “genocide, rape, starvation, and torture of Palestinian civilians.”
The statement also acknowledged that the venue could not corroborate accusations made against the comedian but still asked him to issue a public statement against Israel. Hochman talked about the venue’s demands in an Instagram video and said he will never condemn his home country.
The former Israel Defense Forces (IDF) soldier further told The Hollywood Reporter he does not accept Hall’s apology and refuses to return to the venue.
“Do I think he’s sincere? No. He’s doing it because he was pressured,” Hochman said of Hall. “He doesn’t care. He tested me, like a loyalty test. For me, my people come before my career. I don’t care about money. I will never say lies about my people. I will never say things like rape, starvation, or genocide. That is not the story, and I don’t believe it … Jewish pride comes before everything.”
Actress and comedian Amy Schumer came to Hochman’s defense on Sunday. In an Instagram story, she wrote that the venue’s demand for Hochman to publicly condemn his country was “straight up wrong.”
“They canceled his show, admitted there’s zero evidence, and only backpedaled after the backlash. No artist should sign a forced apology note just to perform,” Schumer wrote. “Last I checked, we don’t run like those dictatorship-run spots, demanding stars trash America before letting them on stage.” Hochman shared Schumer’s statement on his Instagram story.
Photo: Screenshot
Hochman’s stand-up comedy tour has faced protests in several cities, and his scheduled show in New York City last week was canceled over safety concerns. He was also detained for several hours by Canadian border officials earlier this month after the pro-Palestinian advocacy group Hind Rajab Foundation filed a legal complaint against him, accusing the comedian of war crimes and “incitement to genocide.” The comedian was released and not charged, but his Canadian visa was revoked. His scheduled performance in Dallas, Texas, this week was canceled because of a winter storm in the region.
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As with Cain and Abel, the blood of our brother Alex Pretti is crying out from the ground
We don’t have to quote Pastor Niemoller anymore.
Because Alex Pretti could have been any of us. He could’ve been me, you, your neighbor, or your rabbi. In fact, many of my rabbinic colleagues and friends are on the streets of Minneapolis at this very moment. They are brave, patriotic and principled, and having known some of them for many years, I know that they, like Pretti, would protect the most vulnerable, even at unfathomable cost.
And what was Pretti doing? He was protesting peacefully, recording ICE agents with his iPhone. He tried to protect a woman the agents were attacking. He never drew the gun that he legally carried in its holster. He was beaten, and once on the ground, he was shot 10 times. His last words were “Are you OK?”
No longer are “they” coming only for ‘illegal’ immigrants, legal immigrants arriving at their court dates, permanent residents, Latinos, Asians, Somalians, veterans, and Black off-duty police officers.
“They” are now coming for us.
And they hate us. They lie about us, calling us assassins and terrorists. Their rage is palpable, and egged on by right-wing podcasts and right-wing media. We hate America, we are rioters, we are terrorists, we are Antifa. “Have you not learned? This is why we killed that lesbian bitch,” an ICE agent said to a protester two weeks ago, referring to Renee Good.
Even after Pretti’s murder, the Fox News headline was “Minnesota ICE official warns of unrest ‘like nothing I’ve ever seen before.’”
Other than the murder itself, the lies have been the most disturbing part of this spectacle; the immediate rush to lie about and vilify Alex Pretti, a VA nurse described by everyone who knew him as kind, caring, altruistic, and just the sort of person who would put himself in harm’s way to protect a stranger.
Stephen Miller called him a “would-be assassin” and a “terrorist.”
Commander Gregory Bovino (who parades around in a military ‘greatcoat’ that is popular among neo-Nazis online) said that Pretti planned to “massacre law enforcement” and had “violently resisted” before his men killed him, despite the video evidence flatly contradicting the latter claim.
DHS Secretary Kristi Noem said “this looks like a situation where an individual arrived at the scene to inflict maximum damage on individuals and to kill law enforcement.” Yet Pretti had his iPhone out to record what the ICE officers were doing.
There are two reasons these lies are the second-worst part of this episode.
First, it is morally repellent to drag Pretti and his family through the mud — and, if Renee Good’s family is any example, expose them to doxxing, death threats and defamation. Just imagine what they will say about me if they kill me at a protest. Or you. Or your rabbi.
Second, this isn’t one ICE agent. This is an entire apparatus of dehumanization and deceit. And though polling says only 20% of Americans believe that Pretti deserved to be shot, large swaths of America believe this extremist propaganda. We all have targets on our backs, painted by the government and their media apparatus.
There is a teaching in the Torah about this. It is, in fact, the first teaching in the Torah about the violence people do to one another: the story of Cain and Abel.
You know the myth, in all its brevity and primal truth. Cain and Abel are brothers. Both have offered sacrifices to God, though the text suggests Abel gives of his best while Cain does not. And so, Abel’s sacrifice is accepted and Cain’s is not. Vayichar l’kayin me’od; Cain is infuriated, filled with rage. God speaks reprovingly to Cain, telling him in essence that he has gotten what he deserved, that he must curb his desires more. But Cain does not accept this lesson and kills his brother in jealousy and rage.
As we all know, God asks Cain where Abel is — though of course, God already knows. Cain replies “I don’t know. Am I my brother’s keeper?”
But God responds, “What have you done? The voice of your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground.”
Read closely and see. Cain is lying, of course; he knows exactly what he has done. He also denies responsibility; it’s not his job, he says, to take care of Abel. Ha-shomer achi anochi, he asks. Literally, am I my brother’s guard? His protector? Am I supposed to keep him safe?
Cain’s lies are like those of Miller, Bovino, Noem, and the rest. They are transparently preposterous. We are not God, but we can all watch the videotape; we can all inspect the freeze-frames of Pretti lying on the ground being beaten and then being shot.
And we can all easily learn that Pretti, like Abel, was innocent. He was not violently resisting, he posed no threat to these officers. He was no more a “terrorist” than I am — indeed, the word ‘terrorist’ has now become just a slur, drained of actual meaning, as if a non-violent activist is no different from the Bondi Beach terrorist or the Tree of Life terrorist. What a disgusting side-note, that the government has rendered this word meaningless.
Pretti’s blood cries out from the ground. And it is louder than the lies of the murderers.
One final epilogue. There is a midrash (Genesis Rabba 22:9) that blames God for Abel’s murder, because God could have prevented it but chose not to do so. When God says that Abel’s blood is crying out, the midrash says, it is crying out at God.
This is a bold midrash, accusing the Almighty of complicity in murder. But it is aimed at us, not God. None of us individually has the power to stop the next murder in Minneapolis, or Iran, or Gaza, or anywhere else, but collectively, we have the power to rise up against this injustice. We are made in the image of God, and with that similitude comes responsibility. We cannot turn away anymore. The blood cries out from the ground – to each and every one of us.
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