Connect with us

Uncategorized

Jewish marriage rites are robust. Now a rabbi is innovating rituals for Jews who divorce.

(J. The Jewish News of Northern California via JTA) — For Lyssa Jaye, throwing the wood chips into the Tuolumne River felt in many ways familiar to the tashlich ritual performed on Rosh Hashanah. But rather than casting off her sins, she was tossing away feelings: shame, resentment, anger.

They were the emotions that had taken residence inside Jaye since her divorce eight years ago, along with a sense of failure. And she had come to a Jewish retreat to rid herself of them.

“I’ve been carrying around these feelings for years now,” Jaye said. “I have a completely different life now, and I needed to let them go.”

Jaye was taking part in Divorce & Discovery: A Jewish Healing Retreat, the first-ever gathering in a series conceived by Rabbi Deborah Newbrun as part of her training, held this month at Camp Tawonga in the Bay Area.

One of the requirements at the Pluralistic Rabbinical Seminary, where Newbrun was ordained last year in the first graduating class, “was that each of us had to do an innovation, or something that didn’t exist before,” she said.

Newbrun, who directed Camp Tawonga for more than two decades, has been recognized for innovative programming for such achievements as initiating Tawonga’s LGBT family camp and founding its wilderness department. She even won a prestigious 2018 Covenant Award for Jewish educators. But as she started thinking about how to fulfill the seminary requirement, her first thought was, “I don’t have any ideas left in me.”

Then she began reflecting back on her divorce years earlier. She remembered how she had approached numerous rabbis and colleagues in search of Jewish support around the grief she felt. And how they all came up empty-handed.

That’s when she realized: “I can put together something meaningful and helpful for people going through divorce.”

From the moment participants arrived at Camp Tawonga near Yosemite, they knew this would be no ordinary Jewish retreat. At the opening event, all of the facilitators, several clergy members and a therapist shared their own divorce stories, “to set the standard and normalize vulnerability, transparent sharing and establish that we all know what it’s like to have a marriage end,” Newbrun said.

Most participants were from the Bay Area, with a handful from farther afield. They were in different life stages, from those in their 30s dealing with custody battles over young children, to empty nesters in their 60s. Some had separated from their partners years ago, while others had gone their separate ways more recently. Some split amicably; a good many did not. But all had come up against a lack of Jewish resources or support when navigating this major life passage.

Rabbi Deborah Newbrun, the founder of Divorce and Discovery at the recent weekend. (Photo/Margot Yecies)

Jaye said she left no stone unturned in seeking out support, an experience Newbrun said she heard echoed by many participants. Jaye attended a retreat at a local meditation center. She read self-help books. She joined a support group for divorcees. She went to therapy.

And while they all helped in different ways, none was specifically Jewish.

“I knew I needed some kind of spiritual way forward,” she said. “I needed to do this in my own language, with my own people.”

Even though the retreat came nearly a decade years after Jaye’s divorce, “it was profound. It felt like coming home, and that this is what I needed all along. This model could be extremely powerful. The rituals we did could be taught in rabbinical schools or to Jewish educators so it’s not just ‘sign this get and goodbye,’” she said, referring to the Jewish divorce document.

Rather than create new rituals, Newbrun and her facilitators took familiar Jewish rituals and retooled them.

The tashlich ritual, led by Newbrun and Maggid Jhos Singer, had a call-and-response portion, and participants also could call out what they personally wanted to cast off. “One person ‘tashliched’ their wedding ring into the river and felt it was such a perfect place to let it go!” said Newbrun. 

An optional immersion in the Tuolumne River followed. Jaye, who years ago went to the mikvah alone, with only the attendant there for support, said there was no comparison with how much more healing it felt performing the ritual in community.

A session on sitting shiva for one’s marriage, led by Rabbi Sue Reinhold, allowed participants to share and mourn the loss of what they missed most about being married. That resonated for Robyn Lieberman, who does not attend synagogue services but went to every session at the retreat on innovating Jewish rituals.

“I did need to mourn what I’m losing,” said Lieberman, who had been married to an Israeli. “We had a very public, open house around Jewish religion, and a constant Israeli identity, which fulfilled my Jewish needs.”

Rabbi Jennie Chabon of Congregation B’nai Tikvah in Walnut Creek reflected on how much time she has spent with couples preparing for their wedding day, both in premarital counseling and in planning the event, and on how many marriage-related topics are covered in rabbinical school.

“And when it comes to divorce? Nothing,” Chabon said. “We’re all out here on our own trying to figure out how to wander through it.”

She was tasked with creating a havdalah ceremony with a divorce theme, in which she reimagined the wine, spices and flame typically used to mark a division between Shabbat and the rest of the week.

“There’s a fire that burns within each of us, and that flame doesn’t go out,” said Chabon, 47. “When you’re married for a long time, your identity, energy and spirit is so woven into that of another.” Her ritual was meant to affirm that “you are on fire just as you are, and you’re a blessing as an individual in the world. You don’t need a partnership or family to be whole.”

Even the Shabbat Torah service was on theme.

Rabbi Jennie Chabon reads from the Torah during a service at the Divorce and Discovery retreat. (Photo/Margot Yecies)

Rather than focusing on Noah’s emergence from the ark after the flood, Chabon spoke about a lesser-known section of the week’s Torah portion, in which Noah builds a fire and offers a sacrifice to God. But if the entire earth was drenched from the flood, Chabon asked, what did he burn?

“The answer is he must have burned the ark,” Chabon said in recalling her talk at the retreat. “What does that mean for people going through this incredibly painful and tender time in their lives, when what was once a safe container and secure and protected them, they have to burn it down in order to start life anew?

“This is a perfect rebirth metaphor. But what’s being birthed is a new self and a new identity in the world as a single person,” Chabon said. “You have to release and let go of what was to make room for the blessing for who you’re going to become.”

At a ritual “hackathon” workshop presented by Newbrun, participants suggested standing during Kaddish at synagogue to mourn their marriages, and offering their children a Friday night blessing that they are whole whether they are at either parent’s home.

Not all of the sessions centered on Jewish ritual. In a session on the Japanese art of kintsugi, or mending broken pottery, attendees made vessels whose cracks they fixed with putty, symbolizing that beauty can be found in imperfection. Many danced in a Saturday-night silent disco.

Everyone was assigned to a small group, or havurah, that they met with daily, so they could establish deeper connections within the larger cohort.

“To have gone through some of these practices was very meaningful to me,” said Lieberman. “It’s not like I put a seal on my marriage and wrapped it up in a bow and put it behind me, but it was a nice catharsis for completing a transition that I’ve been very thoughtful about.”

Newbrun aims to recreate the retreat in communities around the country. Both Jaye and Lieberman said they found value in being in community with people “who get it,” without the judgment they often face.

“I was a little skeptical that all I’d have in common with people was that we were Jewish and divorced, and that that wouldn’t be enough for me to form a relationship,” said Lieberman. “But having the willingness to talk about it and explore it did open up a lot of very vulnerable conversations. The expert facilitation really made us think about the fact that divorce is not about your paper [certificate], it’s about reexamining the direction of your life and who you want to be.”

A version of this piece originally ran in J. The Jewish News of Northern California, and is reprinted with permission.


The post Jewish marriage rites are robust. Now a rabbi is innovating rituals for Jews who divorce. appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.

Continue Reading

Uncategorized

Righteous gentiles in the Holocaust were no ‘ordinary thing’

Admittedly, Holocaust movies are often problematic. So much of the material is familiar and repetitive. Many audiences have grown inured to the subject if not downright turned off, for whatever reasons. Documentary maker Nick Davis says he did not want to make another Holocaust film, at least not one that we had seen before. He has succeeded. Instead of focusing on the relentless atrocities and victims, his film, This Ordinary Thing shines a light on the often forgotten heroes of the era.

It tells the story of gentiles who helped save Jews across Europe during The Holocaust. Narrated by an all-star cast — including F. Murray Abraham, Helen Mirren, Jeremy Irons, Ellen Burstyn, Jeannie Berlin, Eric Bogosian, Lily Tomlin, and Stephen Fry — the film combines archival footage with the testimonies of more than 40 individuals who, at great personal risk to themselves and their families, worked to rescue Jews.

This was no collective endeavor. As told in this film, none of these people had histories as resistance fighters, although they may have become partisans later. They rose to the occasion, that’s all. Those they hid were desperate neighbors, friends and sometimes strangers who showed up at their doorsteps begging for help.

In some instances they sheltered Jews for years in tight unlit quarters without plumbing; elsewhere, they adopted Jewish children and passed them off as their own; in one situation, a housekeeper prostituted herself to appease and silence her employer who discovered she was hiding Jews in his home. In another, a housewife was hiding Jews underneath and between the cushions in her large, bulky sofa.  And when Nazi soldiers stormed the house, eyeing the sofa, she challenged them to shoot it up, adding that when they found nothing, but succeeded in ruining her furniture, they would have to buy her new fabric and pay for reupholstering. The soldiers, who may or may not have believed her, left the home.

If caught, any one of these brave souls could have been shot on the spot or hung; some of them were. But by the end of the war, they had rescued thousands of Jewish strangers from almost certain death in the camps, ghettos or streets. Precise statistics are not known, but Yad Vasham estimates that the Jews saved number in the tens of thousands, and the museum acknowledges 28,000 saviors as “The Righteous Among the Nations.”

The 62-minute film, with haunting music by Tony-winner Adam Guettel, is understated and subtle. Set within a chronological structure, starting at the cusp of the Holocaust and continuing post liberation and beyond, these courageous figures recount matter-of-factly what they observed and experienced. Devoid of back stories, short of their names and countries of origin, they become, in the film, at once heroes and historical witnesses.

Most of our heroes are voice overs, nothing more. A few, however, were interviewed decades ago; some of these video testimonials are interwoven, as well as many black and white photos of the narrators.

Throughout the movie, the overarching questions remain unanswered. How do people like this come to exist? What makes it possible for them to step up to the plate? What, if anything, unites them?

Their motivations were all over the map. Some of the people who sheltered Jews were genuinely religious; others, less traditionally so, nevertheless held a kind of simple morality as axiomatic.  One said “It’s natural: When people come to you hungry, you give them food.” Another notes, “How would you feel if, later, that person died? How could you survive?”

Many of those interviewed in the film said they were driven to act through the stunning outrage they felt in response to their fellow countrymen’s willful ignorance and, in more than a few cases, outright denial of the growing antisemitism. Hatred of Jews was pervasive and had always been endemic in their countries, which included Poland, Belgium, the Netherlands and Germany. Indeed, the majority of their gentile neighbors, some observed, couldn’t wait to be marching in lockstep with the Nazis, who offered them the perfect platform to voice their deep seated antisemitism.

But nothing could compete with the shocking scenes the gentile heroes  personally witnessed that confirmed the necessity to do something, at whatever peril to themselves. The brutality was unprecedented; one witness described walking into a public square to see five bodies swinging from the gallows, including a gentile couple and the Jewish family they sheltered. Another recalled seeing a Nazi officer smashing a crying Jewish infant to the ground and then stomping on its head.

Some of the images, such as the grisly gallows scene, are projected on screen. But in most cases, the archival footage has nothing to do with the particulars that are being recounted at that moment, and in fact often border on the generic. Still, they effectively serve as potent backdrops. There are the marching Nazis and cheering crowds, Jewish owned stores with “Jude” scrawled across broken windows and abandoned Jewish homes, the owners’ possessions strewn all over the floor.

At the end of the war, most Jews and their gentile protectors went their separate ways, but not all. One Jewish man married the gentile woman who saved him; another Christian who rescued Jews reports that he converted to Judaism, including undergoing a circumcision at the age of 68. One recalls a conversation with his wife, marveling in retrospect at how they saved Jews during the war.

“I said, ‘We’d be crazy to risk our lives for those strange people.’ And my wife said, ‘Yeah. We’ll never do it again, will we?’ ‘No,’ I said, and she looked at me and we laughed. She said, ‘You know, just as well as I do, we would do the same thing over.’”

To show the timelessness of antisemitism, Davis incorporates chants from the antisemitic demonstration in Charlottesville in 2017.  “Jews will not replace us.” But the snippet is unnecessary — in fact, it almost dilutes the impact of what has preceded it.

The references to current events trivialize the Holocaust and unwittingly undermine the actions of the gentile heroes. I also can’t help feeling that Davis was looking for a theme that was universal, like heroic individuals, from any era, who do the right thing despite the peril that is involved.”

While it’s tempting to look for universal resonance in the film — to attempt to answer the question, “What would I do?” — there is no application. This story and its heroes are very much of their time and place. The word “inspiring” does not cut it. I watched this one gob-smacked.

This Ordinary Thing is running at the Cinema Village.

The post Righteous gentiles in the Holocaust were no ‘ordinary thing’ appeared first on The Forward.

Continue Reading

Uncategorized

My childhood echoes in newly-released Shoah recordings

In the New York of my childhood, each year’s change in seasons, from winter to spring, meant renewed memories of the Holocaust as the adults in my neighborhood swapped long sleeves for short, and the numbers burned into the flesh of more than a few of their arms were laid bare for all to see. Observing the awful evidence of the Nazi program to exterminate the Jews, in hushed tones, my friends and I would trade stories we’d heard about first wives, first husbands, and first sets of children that our classmates’ parents and grandparents lost in mass executions and concentration camps in Europe during World War II.

Awful as the Holocaust was to us and humbled as we were by the courage and defiance of the survivors who made no effort to cover up their arms while sunbathing at our local swimming pool, as children often do, we indulged in gallows humor about the terrible events that brought these refugees to our neighborhood.

A favorite of ours was imitating a question we’d been told many former Nazis asked after the Nazi defeat, responding to accusations of collaboration in the Holocaust. “There vas a var?” we’d ask one another, giggling, in our best reproduction of German-accented English, trying to sound the way we imagined culpable Germans might sound while screwing up our faces in exaggerated disbelief, just as we’d heard many former Nazis did to prove how they, personally, had nothing to do with the genocide.

These childhood moments came back to me as I listened to the tapes Claude Lanzmann recorded while doing research for his epic film, Shoah. The tapes have been made available to the public for the very first time, in two Shoah anniversary exhibitions, at the Jewish Museum Berlin and at The New York Historical in New York.

The tapes capture perpetrators and bystanders getting all bolloxed up in justifications, self-serving claims, deflections of guilt — including blaming the Jew victims — and efforts to extract themselves from culpability. On one of the tapes, a former SS man responds to a request for comment on the killing of Jews: “No, that’s over for me!” I thought of the jokey question of my youth – “There vas a var?” – which made pretty much the same point.

Perhaps because of my experience growing up in a New York that gave refuge to those whose scars went well beyond the numbers on their arms, branding them like cattle, it was obvious to me why Lanzmann’s tapes belonged in an exhibition in New York. It was New York’s hospitality to refugees that allowed the Holocaust survivors I knew to build new lives and new families.

But many who learned of The New York Historical’s decision to offer this unique audible Holocaust history coincidentally with the Jewish Museum Berlin, which owns the tapes, were perplexed, asking me why an institution focused on New York and American history would mount an exhibition of Lanzmann’s recordings.

In spite of the connection I felt to the history Lanzmann’s tapes told, my response was not personal. Listening to the tapes illustrates a universal point: the ease with which hatred of a people based on their religion can sink its roots in any society, and the dangers of underestimating this power.

Set against the backdrop of the rise of antisemitism today, the tapes, which record the voices of victims like the parents and grandparents I knew, provide a vital history lesson to a new generation, showing how quickly the belief that Jewish people and their faith are the problem can find its way into a nation’s political consciousness, and how that mindset can ultimately fuel violence on the world stage.

There are, as well, the moral questions raised by the rise of the Nazis in Germany, which transcend geographical boundaries and fall squarely on the permanent agenda of institutions like The New York Historical, which look to the lessons of history as a way of encouraging contemporary audiences to reflect on their own roles and responsibilities, as well as those of institutions like The New York Historical when confronted with injustice.

There is also a direct connection between the antisemitism in Europe that promoted the extermination of Jews, and the history of New York. Who could fail to recognize the enormous impact of those who fled Europe in the wake of Nazism on the city’s cultural institutions, its colleges and universities, its scientific institutions and organizations?

A whole “University in Exile” was founded in New York with some of Europe’s most notable Jewish scholars as faculty; Jewish artists and musicians formed the bedrock of our city’s modern art museums, institutes, conservatories and concert halls in the 1930s and 40s.

Finally, and above all, the tapes underscore the old adage about the importance of history: how it is impossible to understand who we are without knowing from where we came. The tapes offer an incomparable opportunity to convey, especially to young people, how a significant part of our city’s demographic came to be in New York; how this demographic, like so many others in our city right now, sought the basic right to live without fear or threat of violence because of ethnicity or religious belief.

Listening to the Lanzmann tapes in both the context of today’s debates about whether people displaced by violence around the world should be offered refuge in the United States, and as we prepare to celebrate the nation’s semiquincentennial in 2026, reminds us not only of the importance of testimony and of preserving voices from the past, but of who we are as Americans and what responsibilities our democracy gave us 250 years ago. Let this extraordinary audible history be a guide.

The post My childhood echoes in newly-released Shoah recordings appeared first on The Forward.

Continue Reading

Uncategorized

Israeli High-Tech Funding Rises to Nearly $16 Billion in 2025, Report Says

A NVIDIA logo appears in this illustration taken Aug. 25, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Dado Ruvic/Illustration

Israeli hightech companies raised $15.6 billion in private funding in 2025, up from $12.2 billion in 2024, Startup Nation Central said in a report on Monday citing preliminary data.

The tech sector, regarded as one of the largest in the world, accounts for about 20% of GDP, 15% of jobs and more than half of Israeli exports.

It has proved resilient, despite the war in Gaza, which began in 2023, when total funding was $10 billion.

Global giants, such as Nvidia, in 2025 said they would increase their physical and talent presence in Israel.

The number of funding deals, at 717, was the lowest in the last decade, but the deals were higher value. The median private deal, SNC said, reached a record $10 million – up 67% over 2024.

The year 2025 “was not about a return to business as usual; it was a pivot toward high-conviction maturity,” said Avi Hasson, CEO of SNC.

M&A activity reached a record $74.3 billion in value, spread over 150 deals, the data showed.

It was led by Alphabet’s $32 billion purchase of cyber firm Wiz and Palo Alto Networks’ $25 billion acquisition of cyber rival CyberArk.

SNC said the level of M&A in Israel reflected multi-nationals’ efforts “to secure critical innovation.”

“These companies are effectively turning to Israeli startups into their next generation of R&D engines, laying the groundwork for additional acquisitions,” it said.

Funding for tech startups in 2024 was led by $5.2 billion for mid-stage rounds, followed by early-stage investments of $3.9 billion and $2.5 billion for later stages, SNC said.

A number of Israeli companies went public, raising more than $10 billion.

Continue Reading

Copyright © 2017 - 2023 Jewish Post & News