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Jewish marriage rites are robust. Now a rabbi is innovating rituals for Jews who divorce.
(J. The Jewish News of Northern California via JTA) — For Lyssa Jaye, throwing the wood chips into the Tuolumne River felt in many ways familiar to the tashlich ritual performed on Rosh Hashanah. But rather than casting off her sins, she was tossing away feelings: shame, resentment, anger.
They were the emotions that had taken residence inside Jaye since her divorce eight years ago, along with a sense of failure. And she had come to a Jewish retreat to rid herself of them.
“I’ve been carrying around these feelings for years now,” Jaye said. “I have a completely different life now, and I needed to let them go.”
Jaye was taking part in Divorce & Discovery: A Jewish Healing Retreat, the first-ever gathering in a series conceived by Rabbi Deborah Newbrun as part of her training, held this month at Camp Tawonga in the Bay Area.
One of the requirements at the Pluralistic Rabbinical Seminary, where Newbrun was ordained last year in the first graduating class, “was that each of us had to do an innovation, or something that didn’t exist before,” she said.
Newbrun, who directed Camp Tawonga for more than two decades, has been recognized for innovative programming for such achievements as initiating Tawonga’s LGBT family camp and founding its wilderness department. She even won a prestigious 2018 Covenant Award for Jewish educators. But as she started thinking about how to fulfill the seminary requirement, her first thought was, “I don’t have any ideas left in me.”
Then she began reflecting back on her divorce years earlier. She remembered how she had approached numerous rabbis and colleagues in search of Jewish support around the grief she felt. And how they all came up empty-handed.
That’s when she realized: “I can put together something meaningful and helpful for people going through divorce.”
From the moment participants arrived at Camp Tawonga near Yosemite, they knew this would be no ordinary Jewish retreat. At the opening event, all of the facilitators, several clergy members and a therapist shared their own divorce stories, “to set the standard and normalize vulnerability, transparent sharing and establish that we all know what it’s like to have a marriage end,” Newbrun said.
Most participants were from the Bay Area, with a handful from farther afield. They were in different life stages, from those in their 30s dealing with custody battles over young children, to empty nesters in their 60s. Some had separated from their partners years ago, while others had gone their separate ways more recently. Some split amicably; a good many did not. But all had come up against a lack of Jewish resources or support when navigating this major life passage.
Rabbi Deborah Newbrun, the founder of Divorce and Discovery at the recent weekend. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Jaye said she left no stone unturned in seeking out support, an experience Newbrun said she heard echoed by many participants. Jaye attended a retreat at a local meditation center. She read self-help books. She joined a support group for divorcees. She went to therapy.
And while they all helped in different ways, none was specifically Jewish.
“I knew I needed some kind of spiritual way forward,” she said. “I needed to do this in my own language, with my own people.”
Even though the retreat came nearly a decade years after Jaye’s divorce, “it was profound. It felt like coming home, and that this is what I needed all along. This model could be extremely powerful. The rituals we did could be taught in rabbinical schools or to Jewish educators so it’s not just ‘sign this get and goodbye,’” she said, referring to the Jewish divorce document.
Rather than create new rituals, Newbrun and her facilitators took familiar Jewish rituals and retooled them.
The tashlich ritual, led by Newbrun and Maggid Jhos Singer, had a call-and-response portion, and participants also could call out what they personally wanted to cast off. “One person ‘tashliched’ their wedding ring into the river and felt it was such a perfect place to let it go!” said Newbrun.
An optional immersion in the Tuolumne River followed. Jaye, who years ago went to the mikvah alone, with only the attendant there for support, said there was no comparison with how much more healing it felt performing the ritual in community.
A session on sitting shiva for one’s marriage, led by Rabbi Sue Reinhold, allowed participants to share and mourn the loss of what they missed most about being married. That resonated for Robyn Lieberman, who does not attend synagogue services but went to every session at the retreat on innovating Jewish rituals.
“I did need to mourn what I’m losing,” said Lieberman, who had been married to an Israeli. “We had a very public, open house around Jewish religion, and a constant Israeli identity, which fulfilled my Jewish needs.”
Rabbi Jennie Chabon of Congregation B’nai Tikvah in Walnut Creek reflected on how much time she has spent with couples preparing for their wedding day, both in premarital counseling and in planning the event, and on how many marriage-related topics are covered in rabbinical school.
“And when it comes to divorce? Nothing,” Chabon said. “We’re all out here on our own trying to figure out how to wander through it.”
She was tasked with creating a havdalah ceremony with a divorce theme, in which she reimagined the wine, spices and flame typically used to mark a division between Shabbat and the rest of the week.
“There’s a fire that burns within each of us, and that flame doesn’t go out,” said Chabon, 47. “When you’re married for a long time, your identity, energy and spirit is so woven into that of another.” Her ritual was meant to affirm that “you are on fire just as you are, and you’re a blessing as an individual in the world. You don’t need a partnership or family to be whole.”
Even the Shabbat Torah service was on theme.
Rabbi Jennie Chabon reads from the Torah during a service at the Divorce and Discovery retreat. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Rather than focusing on Noah’s emergence from the ark after the flood, Chabon spoke about a lesser-known section of the week’s Torah portion, in which Noah builds a fire and offers a sacrifice to God. But if the entire earth was drenched from the flood, Chabon asked, what did he burn?
“The answer is he must have burned the ark,” Chabon said in recalling her talk at the retreat. “What does that mean for people going through this incredibly painful and tender time in their lives, when what was once a safe container and secure and protected them, they have to burn it down in order to start life anew?
“This is a perfect rebirth metaphor. But what’s being birthed is a new self and a new identity in the world as a single person,” Chabon said. “You have to release and let go of what was to make room for the blessing for who you’re going to become.”
At a ritual “hackathon” workshop presented by Newbrun, participants suggested standing during Kaddish at synagogue to mourn their marriages, and offering their children a Friday night blessing that they are whole whether they are at either parent’s home.
Not all of the sessions centered on Jewish ritual. In a session on the Japanese art of kintsugi, or mending broken pottery, attendees made vessels whose cracks they fixed with putty, symbolizing that beauty can be found in imperfection. Many danced in a Saturday-night silent disco.
Everyone was assigned to a small group, or havurah, that they met with daily, so they could establish deeper connections within the larger cohort.
“To have gone through some of these practices was very meaningful to me,” said Lieberman. “It’s not like I put a seal on my marriage and wrapped it up in a bow and put it behind me, but it was a nice catharsis for completing a transition that I’ve been very thoughtful about.”
Newbrun aims to recreate the retreat in communities around the country. Both Jaye and Lieberman said they found value in being in community with people “who get it,” without the judgment they often face.
“I was a little skeptical that all I’d have in common with people was that we were Jewish and divorced, and that that wouldn’t be enough for me to form a relationship,” said Lieberman. “But having the willingness to talk about it and explore it did open up a lot of very vulnerable conversations. The expert facilitation really made us think about the fact that divorce is not about your paper [certificate], it’s about reexamining the direction of your life and who you want to be.”
A version of this piece originally ran in J. The Jewish News of Northern California, and is reprinted with permission.
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The post Jewish marriage rites are robust. Now a rabbi is innovating rituals for Jews who divorce. appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
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An activist criticized Miami Beach’s Jewish mayor on Facebook — then police came knocking
Miami Beach’s Jewish mayor and his police chief are facing blowback after detectives questioned a local activist over a Facebook post in which she accused the mayor of endorsing violence against Palestinians.
Two weeks ago, Raquel Pacheco commented on a Facebook post by Mayor Steven Meiner, in which he wrote that Miami Beach “is a safe haven for everyone.” He compared Miami Beach with New York City, which he said was “intentionally removing protections against select groups, including promoting boycotts of Israeli/Jewish businesses.”
“The guy who consistently calls for the death of all Palestinians, tried to shut down a theater for showing a movie that hurt his feelings, and REFUSES to stand up for the LGBTQ community in any way (even leaves the room when they vote on related matters) wants you to know that you’re all welcome here. 🤡🤡🤡” Pacheco commented.
Five days later, police showed up at Pacheco’s door.
Pacheco recorded the encounter, which showed a detective telling her the Facebook post “can probably incite someone to do something radical,” and that Pacheco should “refrain from posting things like that because that could get something incited.”
“This is freedom of speech,” Pacheco told the officer. “This is America, right?”
Pacecho later acknowledged Meiner hadn’t explicitly called for the death of all Palestinians, but told Axios that she viewed Meiner’s public support for Israel as amounting to an endorsement of genocide.
In a statement, Miami Beach Police Chief Wayne Jones said he “had serious concerns that her remarks could trigger physical action by others,” in the context of “the real, ongoing national and international concerns surrounding antisemitic attacks and recent rhetoric that has led to violence against political figures.”
Jones added that “at no time did the mayor or any other official direct me to take action.” Meiner’s office did not respond to the Forward’s request for comment.
The video of the encounter has gone viral on social media, with many commenters expressing disbelief at what they view as a clear misuse of police power.
“Wtf,” conservative media personality Megyn Kelly posted to X alongside the video.
The free speech advocacy group FIRE called the incident “offensive to the First Amendment,” arguing that the Facebook post fell short of the legal threshold to be considered incitement.
‘One-sided propaganda’
This isn’t the first time Miami Beach has cracked down on speech related to Israel.
In March, Meiner threatened to evict and defund a movie theater that scheduled screenings of No Other Land, an Oscar-winning documentary about a group of Israeli and Palestinian activists trying to save a village in the West Bank from demolition.
Meiner called the film “a one-sided propaganda attack on the Jewish people.” He ultimately backed away from his resolution to revoke the theater’s lease from the city after it became clear the City Commission would not vote for his proposal.
A year earlier, in response to pro-Palestinian protests, Meiner sponsored legislation that made it a criminal offense for anyone to obstruct a street or sidewalk after being ordered to leave by police.
At a City Commission meeting discussing the ordinance, Meiner muted the microphone of two Jewish residents who opposed the legislation and were speaking out against Israel’s conduct in Gaza.
“This is a nonpartisan commission meeting, and I’m not going to allow you to debase and lie about the Israeli government,” Meiner said.
From Yeshiva of Flatbush to Miami Beach mayor
Meiner was raised in an Orthodox Jewish family in Brooklyn, where he attended Yeshiva of Flatbush. His father worked for the Internal Revenue Service and his mother was a public school teacher and guidance counselor.
Meiner attended Brooklyn College and Brooklyn Law School, moving to Miami Beach in 2007 to work as a lawyer for the Securities and Exchange Commission. He left that job amid accusations of unwanted sexual advances toward colleagues. Meiner denied the allegations and said he believed they were motivated by his colleagues’ antagonism to his staunch pro-Israel stance.
In 2019, Meiner won a seat on the City Commission of Miami Beach, and in 2023, was elected mayor of Miami Beach, which is a nonpartisan office. He has branded himself as the “law and order mayor” and encouraged New Yorkers to move to Florida after the election of Mayor Zohran Mamdani.
An estimated 20% of households in Miami Beach are Jewish, according to a 2024 survey by the Greater Miami Jewish Federation, with a higher percentage of Jews there feeling a strong emotional connection to Israel than the national average.
That background shapes Meiner’s approach to leadership. In September, Meiner appeared on the podcast “Standpoint with Gabe Groisman” and spoke about his experience governing as an Orthodox Jew, including how he responds when confronted with opposition.
“There are people who tell me, ‘Just let them speak. Don’t even counter them.’ That, to me, is not wise,” Meiner said. “They can have their free speech, but people need to be educated and know when something is vile and antisemitic.”
The post An activist criticized Miami Beach’s Jewish mayor on Facebook — then police came knocking appeared first on The Forward.
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Syria Gives Kurds Four Days to Accept Integration as US Signals End of Support
Syrian Democratic Forces (SDF) fighters walk near an armored vehicle, following clashes between SDF and Syrian government forces, in Hasakah, Syria, Jan. 20, 2026. Photo: REUTERS/Orhan Qereman
Syria on Tuesday announced a ceasefire with Kurdish forces it has seized swathes of territory from in the northeast and gave them four days to agree on integrating into the central state, which their main ally, the United States, urged them to accept.
The lightning government advances in recent days and the apparent withdrawal of US support for the continued holding of territory by the Syrian Democratic Forces represent the biggest change of control in the country since rebels ousted Bashar al-Assad 13 months ago.
US envoy Tom Barrack in a social media post described the offer of integration into the central Syrian state with citizenship rights, cultural protections, and political participation as the “greatest opportunity” the Kurds have.
He added that the original purpose of the SDF, which Washington had supported as its main local ally battling Islamic State, had largely expired, and that the US had no long-term interest in retaining its presence in Syria.
The United States is monitoring with “grave concern” developments in Syria, a White House official said, and urged all relevant parties to continue negotiating in “good faith.”
“We urge all parties to exercise maximum restraint, avoid actions that could further escalate tensions, and prioritize the protection of civilians across all minority groups,” the White House official said.
FOUR-DAY CEASEFIRE
The SDF said it accepted a ceasefire agreement with the Damascus government and that it would not engage in any military action unless attacked.
A Syrian government statement said it had reached an understanding with the SDF for it to devise an integration plan for Hasakah province or risk state forces entering two SDF-controlled cities.
The government announced a four-day ceasefire starting on Tuesday evening and said it had asked the SDF to submit the name of a candidate to take the role of assistant to the defense minister in Damascus as part of the integration.
Northeast Syria, wedged between Turkey and Iraq, is home to both Kurds and Arabs and was largely overrun by Islamic State fighters a decade ago before the SDF drove them back with air support from a US-led coalition.
However, advances by the SDF’s main component, the Kurdish YPG force, were concerning to US ally Turkey, which regarded it as an offshoot of the PKK group that had waged a years-long insurgency inside Turkey.
Since Assad was overthrown in December 2024, Syria has been led by former rebel leader Ahmed al-Sharaa, who at one stage controlled the al Qaeda offshoot in the country, and who has emerged as a close ally of Turkey.
Northeast Syria remains sensitive to Ankara, and is of wider international concern because of the presence of SDF-guarded facilities holding thousands of detained Islamic State militants and civilians associated with them.
ISLAMIC STATE DETAINEES
About 200 low-level Islamic State fighters escaped Shaddadi prison in northeast Syria on Monday when the SDF departed, but Syrian government forces recaptured many of them, a US official said on Tuesday.
The Syrian Interior Ministry said on Tuesday that about 120 Islamic State detainees escaped, 81 of whom had been recaptured.
The SDF said it had also withdrawn from al-Hol camp housing thousands of civilians linked to the jihadist group near the Iraqi border.
A senior Syrian government defense official said Damascus had notified the US of the SDF intention to withdraw from the vicinity of al-Hol camp and that government forces were ready to deploy there.
The SDF has previously said it was guarding some 10,000 IS fighters.
Syrian military sources said government troops had advanced on Tuesday in eastern areas of Hasakah province and south of the town of Kobani on the border with Turkey.
The SDF remains in control of Hasakah City, the provincial capital, which is ethnically mixed between Kurds and Arabs, and the Kurdish-majority city of Qamishli.
The government statement said it would not try to enter Hasakah or Qamishli cities during the four days it had given the SDF to outline a plan for integrating into the Syrian state.
MONTHS OF DEADLOCK
Tensions between the SDF and Damascus spilled into conflict this month after deadlock over the fate of the group’s fighters and territory as it resisted government demands to dissolve into the defense ministry.
On Sunday the SDF agreed to withdraw from the Arab-majority provinces of Raqqa and Deir al-Zor, and on Monday government forces pushed into Hasakah province.
Reports indicated that SDF commander Mazloum Abdi and Sharaa held a rocky meeting on Monday, after Abdi’s signature appeared on a 14-point agreement with the government.
The United States, which has established close ties with Sharaa under President Donald Trump, has been closely involved in mediation between the sides.
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Iranian Lawmakers Threaten ‘Jihad’ if Supreme Leader Attacked
Iran’s Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei speaks during a meeting in Tehran, Iran, Jan. 17, 2026. Photo: Office of the Iranian Supreme Leader/WANA (West Asia News Agency)/Handout via REUTERS
Iranian lawmakers on Tuesday warned that any attack on Iran’s so-called “supreme leader,” Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, would lead to a declaration of “jihad,” or holy war, and a violent global response from the Islamic world.
The threat came as tensions between Washington and Tehran continued to escalate amid Iran’s deadly crackdown on nationwide anti-government protests. US President Donald Trump has repeatedly threatened to “hit” the Iranian regime and “help” the demonstrators if the violent repression continues.
“Any attack on the supreme leader means declaring war on the entire Islamic world,” Iran’s semi-official ISNA news agency quoted the parliamentary National Security Committee as saying. The commission reportedly added that those responsible for the attack should expect “the issuance of a jihad decree by Islamic scholars and the response of Islam’s soldiers in all parts of the world.”
Iranian President Masoud Pezeshkian issued a similar warning on Sunday, saying an attack on Khamenei would be viewed as a declaration of war.
“Any aggression against the supreme leader of our country is tantamount to all-out war against the Iranian nation,” he posted on social media.
Such threats from Iranian leaders have come amid speculation that the US may take coercive measures against Iran, including potential military strikes, following Trump’s own warnings to the regime.
Last week, for example, Trump called on Iranian protesters to “take over your institutions” and suggested the US was prepared to take strong action against the regime.
“Iranian Patriots, KEEP PROTESTING – TAKE OVER YOUR INSTITUTIONS!!!” he posted on social media. “Save the names of the killers and abusers. They will pay a big price. I have canceled all meetings with Iranian Officials until the senseless killing of protesters STOPS. HELP IS ON ITS WAY. MIGA [Make Iran Great Again]!!!”
Protests erupted in Iran on Dec. 28 over economic hardships but quickly swelled into nationwide demonstrations calling for the downfall of the country’s Islamist, authoritarian system.
The Iranian government has responded with force in an effort to crush the unrest.
The US-based group Human Rights Activists in Iran has confirmed 4,029 deaths during the protests, while the number of fatalities under review stands at 9,049. Additionally, at least 5,811 people have been injured, and the total number of arrests stands at 26,015.
Iranian officials have put the death toll at 5,000 while some reports indicate the figure could be much higher. The Sunday Times, for example, obtained a new report from doctors on the ground, which states that at least 16,500 protesters have died and 330,000 have been injured.
The exact numbers are difficult to verify, as the regime has imposed an internet blackout across the country while imposing its crackdown.
Trump recently called for an end to Khamenei’s 37-year reign.
“It’s time to look for new leadership in Iran,” Trump told Politico in an interview published on Saturday.
“The man is a sick man who should run his country properly and stop killing people,” Trump said. “His country is the worst place to live anywhere in the world because of poor leadership.”