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Jewish marriage rites are robust. Now a rabbi is innovating rituals for Jews who divorce.
(J. The Jewish News of Northern California via JTA) — For Lyssa Jaye, throwing the wood chips into the Tuolumne River felt in many ways familiar to the tashlich ritual performed on Rosh Hashanah. But rather than casting off her sins, she was tossing away feelings: shame, resentment, anger.
They were the emotions that had taken residence inside Jaye since her divorce eight years ago, along with a sense of failure. And she had come to a Jewish retreat to rid herself of them.
“I’ve been carrying around these feelings for years now,” Jaye said. “I have a completely different life now, and I needed to let them go.”
Jaye was taking part in Divorce & Discovery: A Jewish Healing Retreat, the first-ever gathering in a series conceived by Rabbi Deborah Newbrun as part of her training, held this month at Camp Tawonga in the Bay Area.
One of the requirements at the Pluralistic Rabbinical Seminary, where Newbrun was ordained last year in the first graduating class, “was that each of us had to do an innovation, or something that didn’t exist before,” she said.
Newbrun, who directed Camp Tawonga for more than two decades, has been recognized for innovative programming for such achievements as initiating Tawonga’s LGBT family camp and founding its wilderness department. She even won a prestigious 2018 Covenant Award for Jewish educators. But as she started thinking about how to fulfill the seminary requirement, her first thought was, “I don’t have any ideas left in me.”
Then she began reflecting back on her divorce years earlier. She remembered how she had approached numerous rabbis and colleagues in search of Jewish support around the grief she felt. And how they all came up empty-handed.
That’s when she realized: “I can put together something meaningful and helpful for people going through divorce.”
From the moment participants arrived at Camp Tawonga near Yosemite, they knew this would be no ordinary Jewish retreat. At the opening event, all of the facilitators, several clergy members and a therapist shared their own divorce stories, “to set the standard and normalize vulnerability, transparent sharing and establish that we all know what it’s like to have a marriage end,” Newbrun said.
Most participants were from the Bay Area, with a handful from farther afield. They were in different life stages, from those in their 30s dealing with custody battles over young children, to empty nesters in their 60s. Some had separated from their partners years ago, while others had gone their separate ways more recently. Some split amicably; a good many did not. But all had come up against a lack of Jewish resources or support when navigating this major life passage.
Rabbi Deborah Newbrun, the founder of Divorce and Discovery at the recent weekend. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Jaye said she left no stone unturned in seeking out support, an experience Newbrun said she heard echoed by many participants. Jaye attended a retreat at a local meditation center. She read self-help books. She joined a support group for divorcees. She went to therapy.
And while they all helped in different ways, none was specifically Jewish.
“I knew I needed some kind of spiritual way forward,” she said. “I needed to do this in my own language, with my own people.”
Even though the retreat came nearly a decade years after Jaye’s divorce, “it was profound. It felt like coming home, and that this is what I needed all along. This model could be extremely powerful. The rituals we did could be taught in rabbinical schools or to Jewish educators so it’s not just ‘sign this get and goodbye,’” she said, referring to the Jewish divorce document.
Rather than create new rituals, Newbrun and her facilitators took familiar Jewish rituals and retooled them.
The tashlich ritual, led by Newbrun and Maggid Jhos Singer, had a call-and-response portion, and participants also could call out what they personally wanted to cast off. “One person ‘tashliched’ their wedding ring into the river and felt it was such a perfect place to let it go!” said Newbrun.
An optional immersion in the Tuolumne River followed. Jaye, who years ago went to the mikvah alone, with only the attendant there for support, said there was no comparison with how much more healing it felt performing the ritual in community.
A session on sitting shiva for one’s marriage, led by Rabbi Sue Reinhold, allowed participants to share and mourn the loss of what they missed most about being married. That resonated for Robyn Lieberman, who does not attend synagogue services but went to every session at the retreat on innovating Jewish rituals.
“I did need to mourn what I’m losing,” said Lieberman, who had been married to an Israeli. “We had a very public, open house around Jewish religion, and a constant Israeli identity, which fulfilled my Jewish needs.”
Rabbi Jennie Chabon of Congregation B’nai Tikvah in Walnut Creek reflected on how much time she has spent with couples preparing for their wedding day, both in premarital counseling and in planning the event, and on how many marriage-related topics are covered in rabbinical school.
“And when it comes to divorce? Nothing,” Chabon said. “We’re all out here on our own trying to figure out how to wander through it.”
She was tasked with creating a havdalah ceremony with a divorce theme, in which she reimagined the wine, spices and flame typically used to mark a division between Shabbat and the rest of the week.
“There’s a fire that burns within each of us, and that flame doesn’t go out,” said Chabon, 47. “When you’re married for a long time, your identity, energy and spirit is so woven into that of another.” Her ritual was meant to affirm that “you are on fire just as you are, and you’re a blessing as an individual in the world. You don’t need a partnership or family to be whole.”
Even the Shabbat Torah service was on theme.
Rabbi Jennie Chabon reads from the Torah during a service at the Divorce and Discovery retreat. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Rather than focusing on Noah’s emergence from the ark after the flood, Chabon spoke about a lesser-known section of the week’s Torah portion, in which Noah builds a fire and offers a sacrifice to God. But if the entire earth was drenched from the flood, Chabon asked, what did he burn?
“The answer is he must have burned the ark,” Chabon said in recalling her talk at the retreat. “What does that mean for people going through this incredibly painful and tender time in their lives, when what was once a safe container and secure and protected them, they have to burn it down in order to start life anew?
“This is a perfect rebirth metaphor. But what’s being birthed is a new self and a new identity in the world as a single person,” Chabon said. “You have to release and let go of what was to make room for the blessing for who you’re going to become.”
At a ritual “hackathon” workshop presented by Newbrun, participants suggested standing during Kaddish at synagogue to mourn their marriages, and offering their children a Friday night blessing that they are whole whether they are at either parent’s home.
Not all of the sessions centered on Jewish ritual. In a session on the Japanese art of kintsugi, or mending broken pottery, attendees made vessels whose cracks they fixed with putty, symbolizing that beauty can be found in imperfection. Many danced in a Saturday-night silent disco.
Everyone was assigned to a small group, or havurah, that they met with daily, so they could establish deeper connections within the larger cohort.
“To have gone through some of these practices was very meaningful to me,” said Lieberman. “It’s not like I put a seal on my marriage and wrapped it up in a bow and put it behind me, but it was a nice catharsis for completing a transition that I’ve been very thoughtful about.”
Newbrun aims to recreate the retreat in communities around the country. Both Jaye and Lieberman said they found value in being in community with people “who get it,” without the judgment they often face.
“I was a little skeptical that all I’d have in common with people was that we were Jewish and divorced, and that that wouldn’t be enough for me to form a relationship,” said Lieberman. “But having the willingness to talk about it and explore it did open up a lot of very vulnerable conversations. The expert facilitation really made us think about the fact that divorce is not about your paper [certificate], it’s about reexamining the direction of your life and who you want to be.”
A version of this piece originally ran in J. The Jewish News of Northern California, and is reprinted with permission.
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Turkey Pushes for Closer Ties With Iran Despite Mounting Sanctions as Both Countries Pursue Regional Ambitions
Turkish President Tayyip Erdogan attends a press conference with German Chancellor Friedrich Merz at the Presidential Palace in Ankara, Turkey, Oct. 30, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Umit Bektas
Despite the recent reimposition of UN sanctions on Iran, Turkey has called for closer diplomatic and trade relations with the Iranian regime, as both countries seek to bolster their influence in the Middle East while openly targeting Israel.
In a new interview with the semi-official Iranian news outlet ISNA, Turkey’s Ambassador to Iran, Hicabi Kırlangıç, said Ankara was working to expand bilateral cooperation with Tehran by leveraging existing capabilities to increase economic ties between the two countries.
“One of the obstacles to expanding trade relations between Iran and Turkey is the issue of sanctions. However, we should not cling to this excuse and refrain from trying to increase trade relations,” Kırlangıç said.
“The goal is to raise the level of trade relations to $30 billion, but we are still far from this figure,” he continued, emphasizing the vast potential for economic growth and the need for careful planning to achieve it.
The Turkish diplomat’s latest remarks followed Foreign Minister Hakan Fidan’s visit on Sunday to Tehran, where he also pushed for stronger bilateral cooperation between the two countries and denounced what he called “unfair sanctions” on Iran.
In a joint press conference with Iranian Foreign Minister Abbas Araghchi, Fidan reaffirmed Turkey’s support for Tehran while calling for the country’s nuclear program to be addressed through dialogue amid ongoing discussions to restart nuclear talks with the West.
After repeated unsuccessful negotiations over Iran’s nuclear program, European countries launched the process to reinstate wide-ranging UN sanctions earlier this year under the so-called snapback mechanism, adding further pressure on Tehran, which was already facing mounting US sanctions.
Fidan called for the removal of these “unrighteous” sanctions, stressing that the Iranian regime must resolve outstanding issues “on the basis of international law.”
“Turkey has always stood with Iran and will continue to stand with Iran within the framework of international law,” the top Turkish diplomat said, adding that “these unfair sanctions should be lifted.”
During their high-level meeting in Tehran, officials from both countries vowed to significantly expand cooperation on trade, energy, border management, and regional security, noting that economic ties remain well below their potential.
As part of their announced initiatives, the two nations agreed to build a new joint rail line that will serve as a strategic trade corridor between Asia and Europe, with construction expected to take three to four years and cost roughly $1.6 billion.
Fidan also said both countries consider Israel “the biggest threat to stability in the Middle East,” pointing to the war in Gaza, tensions in Lebanon and Syria, and broader concerns over what he called “Israeli expansionist policies.”
“The international community must fulfill its responsibilities,” he said, calling for stronger global pressure on the Jewish state.
Amid international efforts to uphold the Israel-Hamas ceasefire and chart a path for post-war Gaza, Turkey — a longtime backer of Hamas — has been pushing to expand its role in Gaza’s reconstruction efforts, which experts have warned could potentially strengthen Hamas’s terrorist infrastructure.
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Israeli Real Estate Firm Denies Canceling New York Event Due to Anti-Zionist Group’s ‘Stolen Land’ Protest
Illustrative: Demonstrators attend an anti-Israel protest on the day of the two-year anniversary of the attack on Israel by Hamas, in New York City, US, Oct. 7, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Shannon Stapleton
An Israeli real estate firm has denied canceling an event set to take place in New York City on Tuesday due to a planned demonstration organized by a notorious anti-Israel group, saying the cancellation was for unrelated reasons.
A spokesperson for CapitIL, which provides information about buying real estate in Israel, said the gathering was canceled so the firm could focus its resources on holding a larger event in the coming months, according to the Times of Israel.
The Israeli publication reported that CapitIL’s event for this week had already been canceled when the local chapter of the radical anti-Zionist activist organization Pal-Awda announced the protest on Friday.
“When we as a community challenge the zionists’ genocidal settler-colonial machine we can win! And we did! We forced the cancellation of zionist land thieving CapitIL Real Estate’s planned illegal land sale in Manhattan,” Pal-Awda posted on social media on Tuesday.
“All this shows the importance and strength of our community when we turn out to challenge these genociders,” the group continued. “Please continue to follow us as we will continue to expose and, with our community’s support, challenge the zionist entity’s long tentacles here in [New York and New Jersey].”
Pal-Awda celebrated the cancellation of the so-called “illegal” sale of “stolen land” in Israel.
“This series of cancellations speaks to the power of our mobilization: with every principled protest and disruption, we are making the theft of Palestinian land untenable in our neighborhoods,” the group wrote. “As our protests have grown in size, we have seen more and more agencies and organizations similarly cancel and delay events, fearing the consequences of accountability and community outcry.”
On Friday, Pal-Awda initially advertised the planned protest.
“A zionist real estate event attempting to sell land in occupied Palestine will be held in Manhattan,” it posted. “This event is part of the zionists’ ongoing effort to ethnically cleanse Palestine. Join as we confront the white supremacist, settler-colonial project!”
The group called for supporters to gather in force.
“As the United States continues to provide political cover & military support for the ongoing indiscriminate assaults on Palestine, Lebanon, Syria, & Yemen, zionist settlers are exploiting this moment to further their settler-colonial agenda,” it said. “This expansion is facilitated by zionists from all over the world, including most prominently in the US, through real estate events where Stolen Land is sold & discounted mortgages are provided by “isr@eli” banks backed by the zionist entity’s government.”
Rabbi Marc Schneier, president of the Foundation for Ethnic Understanding, called on New York City Mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani, who takes office next month, to take an aggressive stand against such protests and push for a ban of such demonstrations in front of houses of worship.
“In my conversation with Mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani recently, I made it clear that the Jewish community will not stand idly by for such antisemitic and violent protests,” Schneier told The Algemeiner. “I hope that we will be able to work together to put my plan into action, creating a ban of protests on the property of any house of worship. This cannot be the new norm in New York City.”
Last month, Pal-Awda organized a gathering of demonstrators who called for violence against Jews outside a prominent synagogue.
The protesters were harassing those attending an event being held by Nefesh B’Nefesh, a Zionist organization that helps Jews immigrate to Israel, at Park East Synagogue in Manhattan.
“We don’t want no Zionists here!” the group of roughly 200 anti-Israel activists chanted in intervals while waving the Palestinian flag. “Resistance, you make us proud, take another settler out.”
One protester, addressing the crowd, reportedly proclaimed, “It is our duty to make them think twice before holding these events! We need to make them scared.”
Footage on social media also showed agitators chanting “death to the IDF,” referring to the Israel Defense Forces, as well as “globalize the intifada” and “intifada revolution.” Community figures described the scene as openly threatening and a stark escalation of anti-Jewish hostility in New York City.
Mamdani, a strident critic of Israel, drew immense backlash after releasing a statement which “discouraged” the language used by the protesters but also condemned the event for supposedly using “sacred spaces … to promote activities in violation of international law.”
Jewish leaders reacted with disappointment, arguing that Mamdani effectively provided political justification for a protest that targeted Jews for participating in a mainstream, fully legal pro-Israel program. Critics said the mayor-elect’s framing implied that the synagogue event, not the threatening chants outside, was the real problem, a position they described as deeply irresponsible amid rising antisemitism in the city.
Pal-Awda has vowed to hold demonstrations at “private homes, businesses, and houses of worship” if necessary “to stop the pipeline of settlement and zionist colonial expansion.”
In addition to the nixed CapitIL event, Pal-Awda also claimed on Tuesday that it caused Nefesh B’Nefesh to cancel a separate event planned for Thursday in Manhattan. The Algemeiner could not immediately confirm the veracity of that claim.
New York City has been ravaged by a surge in antisemitic incidents since Hamas’s Oct. 7, 2023, massacre across southern Israel. According to police data, Jews were targeted in the majority of hate crimes perpetrated in New York City last year. Meanwhile, pro-Hamas activists have held raucous — and sometimes violent — protests on the city’s college campuses, oftentimes causing Jewish students to fear for their safety.
Leaders of the Jewish community have raised alarm bells following the rapid political ascendance of Mamdani, a far-left democratic socialist and anti-Zionist. Mamdani is an avid supporter of boycotting all Israeli-tied entities who has been widely accused of promoting antisemitic rhetoric. He has repeatedly accused Israel of “apartheid” and “genocide;” refused to recognize the country’s right to exist as a Jewish state; and refused to explicitly condemn the phrase “globalize the intifada,” which has been associated with calls for violence against Jews and Israelis worldwide.
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Cornell Graduate Student Union Blasts Israel, Backs BDS While Committing to ‘Palestinian Liberation Struggle’
Cornell University students walk on campus, November 2023. Photo: USA Today Network via Reuters Connect
A graduate workers’ union at Cornell University has approved a resolution to adopt a statement titled “International Solidarity With the Palestinian Liberation Struggle” which espouses invective against Israel and calls for participation in the boycott, divestment, and sanctions (BDS) movement against the Jewish state.
“Cornell is implicated in the Israeli genocide of Palestinians through research, recruitment, and financial ties with the weapons industry, and endowment investments,” says the resolution, passed by Cornell Graduate Students United, a division of the United Electrical, Radio, and Machine Workers of America (UE). “Cornell’s complicity perpetuates its history from profiting from dispossession.”
Pronouncing its synthesis of classical Marxist themes and anti-Zionist propaganda, the statement continued: “The labor movement faces a once in a generation opportunity to build international worker solidarity after globalization has fractured the working class across lines of race, gender, legal status, and national borders. The Palestinian Trade Unions have urged us, as workers of the world, to end all forms of complicity with Israel’s crimes.”
Cornell UE, which announced the membership vote last week, added that it will follow up the resolution with a series of policies and actions intended to enforce it, including using union time, resources, and space to advocate anti-Zionism, pressure the university to “disclose” its investment holdings, and enforce BDS within the union by ensuring its members “refuse funding sources that are tied to the US and Israel militaries and weapons manufacturers and … find alternatives.”
Experts told the US Congress in September that antisemitism runs rampant in campus labor unions, trapping Jews in exploitative and nonconsensual relationships with union bosses who spend their compulsory membership dues on political activities which promote hatred of their identity and the destruction of the Jewish homeland.
Testifying at a hearing titled “Unmasking Union Antisemitism” held by the House Education and the Workforce Subcommittee on Health, Employment, Labor, and Pensions, the witnesses described a series of issues facing Jewish graduate students represented against their will by the UE.
In particular, Cornell University UE was accused of denying religious exemptions in several cases as well and followed up the rejection with an intrusive “questionnaire” which probed Jewish students for “legally-irrelevant information.”
During an interview with The Algemeiner after the hearing, Glenn Taubman, staff attorney for the National Right to Work Legal Defense Foundation (NRTW), said union antisemitism highlights the issues inherent in compulsory union representation, which he argued quells freedom of speech and association. He pointed to the case of Cornell PhD candidate David Rubinstein, who said he has experienced a climate of hatred that is impervious to correction because the ringleaders fostering it hold left-wing viewpoints.
“The only reason that David is forced to be represented by UE and is theoretically forced to pay them dues is because federal labor law allows that and in many cases requires it,” Taubman explained. “What I told the committee is that ending the union abuse of graduate students and people like David requires amending federal law so that unions are not the forced representatives of people who don’t want such representation.”
He added, “Unions have a special privilege that no other private organization in America has, and that is the power to impose their representation on people who don’t want it and then mandate that they pay dues because they quote-un-quote represent you. That is the most un-American thing that I can imagine.”
Campus antisemitism has drawn NRTW into an alliance with Jewish faculty and students across the US.
In 2024, it represented a group of six City University of New York (CUNY) professors, five of whom are Jewish, who sued to be “freed” from CUNY’s Professional Staff Congress (PSC-CUNY) over its passing a resolution during Israel’s May 2021 war with Hamas which declared solidarity with Palestinians and accused the Jewish state of ethnic cleansing, apartheid, and crimes against humanity. The group contested New York State’s “Taylor Law,” which it said chained the professors to the union’s “bargaining unit” and denied their right to freedom of speech and association by forcing them to be represented in negotiations by an organization they claim holds antisemitic views.
That same year, NRTW prevailed in a discrimination suit filed to exempt another cohort of Jewish MIT students from paying dues to the Graduate Student Union (GSU). The students had attempted to resist financially supporting GSU’s anti-Zionism, but the union bosses attempted to coerce their compliance, telling them that “no principles, teachings, or tenets of Judaism prohibit membership in or the payment of dues or fees” to the union.
“All Americans should have a right to protect their money from going to union bosses they don’t support, whether those objections are based on religion, politics, or any other reason,” NRTW said at the time.
Follow Dion J. Pierre @DionJPierre.