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Jewish marriage rites are robust. Now a rabbi is innovating rituals for Jews who divorce.
(J. The Jewish News of Northern California via JTA) — For Lyssa Jaye, throwing the wood chips into the Tuolumne River felt in many ways familiar to the tashlich ritual performed on Rosh Hashanah. But rather than casting off her sins, she was tossing away feelings: shame, resentment, anger.
They were the emotions that had taken residence inside Jaye since her divorce eight years ago, along with a sense of failure. And she had come to a Jewish retreat to rid herself of them.
“I’ve been carrying around these feelings for years now,” Jaye said. “I have a completely different life now, and I needed to let them go.”
Jaye was taking part in Divorce & Discovery: A Jewish Healing Retreat, the first-ever gathering in a series conceived by Rabbi Deborah Newbrun as part of her training, held this month at Camp Tawonga in the Bay Area.
One of the requirements at the Pluralistic Rabbinical Seminary, where Newbrun was ordained last year in the first graduating class, “was that each of us had to do an innovation, or something that didn’t exist before,” she said.
Newbrun, who directed Camp Tawonga for more than two decades, has been recognized for innovative programming for such achievements as initiating Tawonga’s LGBT family camp and founding its wilderness department. She even won a prestigious 2018 Covenant Award for Jewish educators. But as she started thinking about how to fulfill the seminary requirement, her first thought was, “I don’t have any ideas left in me.”
Then she began reflecting back on her divorce years earlier. She remembered how she had approached numerous rabbis and colleagues in search of Jewish support around the grief she felt. And how they all came up empty-handed.
That’s when she realized: “I can put together something meaningful and helpful for people going through divorce.”
From the moment participants arrived at Camp Tawonga near Yosemite, they knew this would be no ordinary Jewish retreat. At the opening event, all of the facilitators, several clergy members and a therapist shared their own divorce stories, “to set the standard and normalize vulnerability, transparent sharing and establish that we all know what it’s like to have a marriage end,” Newbrun said.
Most participants were from the Bay Area, with a handful from farther afield. They were in different life stages, from those in their 30s dealing with custody battles over young children, to empty nesters in their 60s. Some had separated from their partners years ago, while others had gone their separate ways more recently. Some split amicably; a good many did not. But all had come up against a lack of Jewish resources or support when navigating this major life passage.
Rabbi Deborah Newbrun, the founder of Divorce and Discovery at the recent weekend. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Jaye said she left no stone unturned in seeking out support, an experience Newbrun said she heard echoed by many participants. Jaye attended a retreat at a local meditation center. She read self-help books. She joined a support group for divorcees. She went to therapy.
And while they all helped in different ways, none was specifically Jewish.
“I knew I needed some kind of spiritual way forward,” she said. “I needed to do this in my own language, with my own people.”
Even though the retreat came nearly a decade years after Jaye’s divorce, “it was profound. It felt like coming home, and that this is what I needed all along. This model could be extremely powerful. The rituals we did could be taught in rabbinical schools or to Jewish educators so it’s not just ‘sign this get and goodbye,’” she said, referring to the Jewish divorce document.
Rather than create new rituals, Newbrun and her facilitators took familiar Jewish rituals and retooled them.
The tashlich ritual, led by Newbrun and Maggid Jhos Singer, had a call-and-response portion, and participants also could call out what they personally wanted to cast off. “One person ‘tashliched’ their wedding ring into the river and felt it was such a perfect place to let it go!” said Newbrun.
An optional immersion in the Tuolumne River followed. Jaye, who years ago went to the mikvah alone, with only the attendant there for support, said there was no comparison with how much more healing it felt performing the ritual in community.
A session on sitting shiva for one’s marriage, led by Rabbi Sue Reinhold, allowed participants to share and mourn the loss of what they missed most about being married. That resonated for Robyn Lieberman, who does not attend synagogue services but went to every session at the retreat on innovating Jewish rituals.
“I did need to mourn what I’m losing,” said Lieberman, who had been married to an Israeli. “We had a very public, open house around Jewish religion, and a constant Israeli identity, which fulfilled my Jewish needs.”
Rabbi Jennie Chabon of Congregation B’nai Tikvah in Walnut Creek reflected on how much time she has spent with couples preparing for their wedding day, both in premarital counseling and in planning the event, and on how many marriage-related topics are covered in rabbinical school.
“And when it comes to divorce? Nothing,” Chabon said. “We’re all out here on our own trying to figure out how to wander through it.”
She was tasked with creating a havdalah ceremony with a divorce theme, in which she reimagined the wine, spices and flame typically used to mark a division between Shabbat and the rest of the week.
“There’s a fire that burns within each of us, and that flame doesn’t go out,” said Chabon, 47. “When you’re married for a long time, your identity, energy and spirit is so woven into that of another.” Her ritual was meant to affirm that “you are on fire just as you are, and you’re a blessing as an individual in the world. You don’t need a partnership or family to be whole.”
Even the Shabbat Torah service was on theme.
Rabbi Jennie Chabon reads from the Torah during a service at the Divorce and Discovery retreat. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Rather than focusing on Noah’s emergence from the ark after the flood, Chabon spoke about a lesser-known section of the week’s Torah portion, in which Noah builds a fire and offers a sacrifice to God. But if the entire earth was drenched from the flood, Chabon asked, what did he burn?
“The answer is he must have burned the ark,” Chabon said in recalling her talk at the retreat. “What does that mean for people going through this incredibly painful and tender time in their lives, when what was once a safe container and secure and protected them, they have to burn it down in order to start life anew?
“This is a perfect rebirth metaphor. But what’s being birthed is a new self and a new identity in the world as a single person,” Chabon said. “You have to release and let go of what was to make room for the blessing for who you’re going to become.”
At a ritual “hackathon” workshop presented by Newbrun, participants suggested standing during Kaddish at synagogue to mourn their marriages, and offering their children a Friday night blessing that they are whole whether they are at either parent’s home.
Not all of the sessions centered on Jewish ritual. In a session on the Japanese art of kintsugi, or mending broken pottery, attendees made vessels whose cracks they fixed with putty, symbolizing that beauty can be found in imperfection. Many danced in a Saturday-night silent disco.
Everyone was assigned to a small group, or havurah, that they met with daily, so they could establish deeper connections within the larger cohort.
“To have gone through some of these practices was very meaningful to me,” said Lieberman. “It’s not like I put a seal on my marriage and wrapped it up in a bow and put it behind me, but it was a nice catharsis for completing a transition that I’ve been very thoughtful about.”
Newbrun aims to recreate the retreat in communities around the country. Both Jaye and Lieberman said they found value in being in community with people “who get it,” without the judgment they often face.
“I was a little skeptical that all I’d have in common with people was that we were Jewish and divorced, and that that wouldn’t be enough for me to form a relationship,” said Lieberman. “But having the willingness to talk about it and explore it did open up a lot of very vulnerable conversations. The expert facilitation really made us think about the fact that divorce is not about your paper [certificate], it’s about reexamining the direction of your life and who you want to be.”
A version of this piece originally ran in J. The Jewish News of Northern California, and is reprinted with permission.
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Tucker Carlson on Israeli TV: US, Israel Are ‘Not Democracies,’ Israel ‘Most Violent Country in the World’
Tucker Carlson speaks on first day of AmericaFest 2025 at the Phoenix Convention Center in Phoenix, Arizona, Dec. 18, 2025. Photo: Charles-McClintock Wilson/ZUMA Press Wire via Reuters Connect
Far-right podcaster Tucker Carlson came under fire after appearing on prime-time Israeli television and accusing both Israel and the US of betraying democracy, calling Israel “probably the most violent country in the world” and saying Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu had dragged President Donald Trump into the war with Iran.
In an interview with Channel 13 anchor and senior political analyst Udi Segal aired on Tuesday night, Carlson also repeated his claim that Israel’s actions in Gaza amounted to “genocide,” while saying the wording mattered less than what he described as the killing of civilians. The country had “definitely lost its morality,” he said.
When Segal pushed back, Carlson responded, “Israel has murdered all these children, thousands of children in Gaza. But the real criminal is me because I describe that as genocide. OK, it’s not genocide. It’s killing innocents. It’s wrong. You can call it genocide or ethnic cleansing. You can call it a crime, a sin, an atrocity. I don’t really care.”
Israel treats “Arabs like animals or sub-humans,” he added, not mentioning that Arabs, who comprise about 20 percent of Israel’s population, hold full political and civil rights and regularly serve at the highest levels of the government.
“That is not an attack on Jews,” Carlson continued. “Israel does not represent all Jews, despite its claims. It does not. That is factually incorrect, and you know it.”
The vast majority of Jews globally support Israel’s right to exist, with polls consistently showing that roughly 70% to 90% of Jewish adults feel an emotional attachment to the country and believe it has a right to exist as a Jewish state. A recent Washington Post survey found that 76% of American Jews believe Israel’s existence is vital for Jewish survival.
The full, exclusive interview: @TuckerCarlson speaks with @usegal on Israel’s @newsisrael13
– What’s behind his retreat from supporting Trump?
– Responding to antisemitism claims (and why did he host Nick Fuentes?)
– The war in Iran & Gaza
– Does he think Israel is trying to… pic.twitter.com/tnFcxJmYYC— Yosef Yisrael (@yosefyisrael25) May 19, 2026
Carlson said he believed both the US and Israel were failing their own citizens.
“I would like a democracy in the United States like I’d like one in Israel. Israel is not a democracy; the United States apparently is not a democracy either. Our government keeps doing things that people don’t want, so that’s not democracy; it’s the opposite of democracy.”
“Of course, Israel is not a democracy in any sense. There are millions of people who live under Israeli control who cannot vote,” he told Segal. “These places which Israel has controlled since 1967 have people living in them who have no control over the government that controls their lives, which is true, it’s not a democracy.”
Israel “is probably the most violent country in the world,” he said.
When Segal said Israel was acting in self-defense, Carlson responded that “no country has boasted more about killing its political opponents than Israel.”
“Israel makes a public relations campaign out of boasting about killing its opponents.”
Carlson also accused Trump of yielding to Netanyahu over Iran.
“Why did Trump let a nation of 9 million people drag a nation of 350 million people into a war that would change its future, and that is bad for the United States?”
“It’s wrong that I’m paying for Israel’s actions,” he said. “There’s no reason the United States should be sending any money at all to Israel and particularly not to its military.”
The Israeli prime minister pushed the US president, he said, “who turned out to be far weaker than I understood, into a war that hurts the United States.”
The White House issued a statement to Israel’s Channel 13 on Wednesday saying Carlson “is a low-IQ person who spreads fake news for cheap publicity.”
“Long before he was elected, President Trump has been consistent in his belief that Iran can never be allowed to possess a nuclear weapon,” the statement said. “Israel has always been a great ally to the United States, especially through Operations Midnight Hammer and Epic Fury that obliterated Iran’s nuclear facilities and destroyed their defense industrial base. President Trump took bold, decisive action to protect the American people — something presidents have talked about for 47 years, but only this president has had the courage to address.”
Carlson’s appearance came after a lightning trip to Israel in February for an interview with US Ambassador Mike Huckabee, part of an escalating feud in which Carlson has increasingly singled out evangelical Christian Zionists as a political target. The visit drew further criticism after Carlson used it to amplify a series of conspiracy claims, saying he was mistreated by Israeli authorities, while never actually leaving Ben-Gurion International Airport.
Commentators on social media pointed out that Carlson’s posting “Greetings from Israel” from an airport logistics zone, then flying out, does not amount to visiting the country in any ordinary sense.
Carlson’s brief trip to Israel contrasts with his interview of Russian President Vladimir Putin in 2024, when he spent multiple days in Russia praising the country on video and infamously marveling at the use of locks on shopping carts — a common feature in Europe.
The podcaster’s visit to Israel also differed from his trip to Doha in December, when he interviewed Qatari Prime Minister Mohammed bin Abdulrahman bin Jassim Al Thani and revealed his plans to purchase a home in the country. Qatar has been a long-time backer of the Muslim Brotherhood, including its Palestinian offshoot Hamas, an internationally designated terrorist group.
Carlson has ramped up his anti-Israel content over the last year, according to a study released in December by the Jewish People Policy Institute (JPPI), which tracked the prominent far-right podcaster’s disproportionate emphasis on attacking the Jewish state in 2025.
In September, for example, the podcaster appeared to blame the Jewish people for the crucifixion of Jesus and suggested Israel was behind the assassination of American conservative activist Charlie Kirk.
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Slain Security Guard of California Mosque Engaged Gunmen in Shootout, Hailed as Hero
A man places a candle on the ground as he pays his respects in front of the Islamic Center of San Diego after the vigil in a park, the day after a fatal shooting incident, in San Diego, California, US, May 19, 2026. Photo: REUTERS/Daniel Cole
The security guard slain at the Islamic Center of San Diego was hailed on Tuesday as a fallen hero who sacrificed his life to keep 140 school children inside the mosque safe by engaging two gunmen in a shootout that deterred the teenage suspects and helped thwart their attack.
Authorities also disclosed that the 17- and 18-year-old assailants, who took their own lives shortly after Monday’s shooting, were believed to have met online and were apparently “radicalized” in hate-related ideology on the internet.
Late on Tuesday, CNN reported that it had obtained and reviewed graphic video purported to be footage of the mosque shooting recorded and livestreamed by the two suspects, including a final clip that appears to show one of the gunmen shooting his companion and then himself.
A day after the gun violence, police, FBI, and other officials held a news conference focused on the three victims, all men affiliated with the mosque, who were slain in the attack and credited with putting themselves in harm’s way to save others.
The security guard, Amin Abdullah, 51, also known to friends as Brian Climax, immediately recognized the two youths as a threat and opened fire on them as they ran past him outside the mosque, according to San Diego Police Chief Scott Wahl. The suspects then paused to return fire, Wahl said.
Abdullah wound up fatally shot in the parking lot, along with two other men who distracted the suspects after they stormed into the building, drawing their attention through a window, thus luring the two teens back outside, Wahl said.
TWO MEN LURED GUNMEN OUTSIDE
The two other victims, mosque elder Mansour Kaziha, 78, and Uber driver Nadir Awad, 57, a neighbor whose wife worked as a teacher at the school there, were cornered and shot to death in the parking lot by the gunmen when they re-emerged.
In the midst of the confrontation, it was Abdullah who transmitted the radio call that activated a security lockdown, which Wahl said also prevented further bloodshed there.
The gunfight and the security alert gave others in the building time to take shelter behind locked doors, Wahl said, while Kaziha and Awad coaxed the suspects out of the building. Kaziha also was the first person to call 911 emergency before he was shot, police said.
Minutes before officers from around California‘s second-most-populous city converged on the mosque, the two suspects fled by car. They were found dead in their vehicle a short time later several blocks away, apparently from self-inflicted gunshot wounds, police said.
Wahl singled out Abdullah for special praise of his “heroic action,” adding that at first, “I had no idea how heroic those actions were.”
“His actions, without a doubt, delayed, distracted, and ultimately deterred those two individuals from gaining access to the greater areas of the mosque where as many as 140 kids were within 15 feet of these suspects,” Wahl said.
Taha Hassane, the imam and director of the Islamic Center, called all three of the victims “our martyrs and our heroes.”
Addressing a separate news conference at a local park, the security guard‘s daughter, Hawaa Abdullah, offered prayers and paid a tearful tribute to her father as a man who doted on his family and was so dedicated to his job that he would not break for meals when he was on duty.
She called on people of all faiths to honor him by coming together and being kind. “He stood against any form of hate,” she said.
PURPORTED LIVESTREAMED VIDEO OF SHOOTING
Police and FBI have said that they are investigating the attack as a hate crime but have declined to offer details about a possible motive.
“What I can say is [the suspects] definitely had a broad hatred towards a lot of folks,” FBI special agent Mark Remily told reporters.
Although authorities have not officially named the two suspects, the gunmen have been identified as Caleb Vasquez, 18, and Cain Clark, 17, a Department of Justice official told Reuters.
Remily said one of the gunmen left behind a manifesto, but he declined to characterize it in detail.
CNN reported that a 75-page manifesto from the gunmen citing racist, Islamophobic and antisemitic ideology, as well as “incel” culture, was under scrutiny by investigators.
The cable network said it had obtained a copy of the document from the Institute for Strategic Dialogue, which studies extremism, along with a video the two gunmen appeared to have recorded during their attack and posted to the internet in real time.
Summarizing the video in writing according to an AI-generated description of the footage, CNN said White supremacist symbols were visible on the two attackers’ guns and clothing as they are seen moving through the Islamic Center, with one firing a rifle before they walk back outside, fire a pistol, and then appear to stand over someone lying in a pool of blood.
CNN said it geolocated the final moment of the video to the neighborhood where police found two teens dead from gunshot wounds inside the getaway car. The footage ends with the driver stopping the vehicle, then appearing to shoot his passenger before shooting himself, according to the network.
A copy of a video that appears to match CNN’s written summary began circulating online on Tuesday.
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Israel Takes Step Toward Snap Election as Knesset Votes to Dissolve
Israeli politicians react following a vote to dissolve the Knesset, Israel’s parliament, before the end of its term, at the Knesset, in Jerusalem, May 20, 2026. Photo: REUTERS/Ronen Zvulun
Israel moved closer on Wednesday to a snap election after lawmakers gave an initial nod to dissolve parliament, with opinion polls showing Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu would lose the first national vote since the 2023 Hamas attacks.
Lawmakers voted almost unanimously for an early ballot in a preliminary reading of a bill to disband the 120-seat Knesset. If it receives final approval, a process that could take weeks, Israel could hold an election several weeks ahead of an Oct. 27 deadline.
Netanyahu’s own coalition submitted the bill to dissolve parliament after an ultra-Orthodox faction traditionally close to the Israeli leader accused him of failing to deliver on a promise to pass a law exempting their community from mandatory military service.
NETANYAHU BEHIND IN POLLS
Some 110 members of parliament voted in favor of the bill to dissolve, with no opponents or abstentions. It now heads to committee where an election date is agreed, before going back to the Knesset for final approval.
The vote comes at a pivotal time for Netanyahu, Israel‘s longest-serving prime minister who leads the most right-wing government in his country’s history.
Israel has been at war with Hamas in Gaza, Hezbollah in Lebanon, and Iran, fronts that remain volatile and could have an impact on the election.
Netanyahu still faces a long-running corruption trial. Israel‘s President Isaac Herzog is mediating talks to broker a plea deal in the case, which could see the 76-year-old Netanyahu retiring from politics as part of the deal.
Netanyahu’s health could also be an issue. He recently disclosed that he was successfully treated for prostate cancer and in 2023 he was fitted with a pacemaker.
Since the Oct. 7, 2023, Hamas attacks on Israel, polls have consistently shown Netanyahu’s governing coalition falling far short of a parliamentary majority.
However, there is also a chance that opposition parties will fail to form a coalition, leaving Netanyahu at the head of an interim government until the political stalemate is broken.