Uncategorized
Jewish marriage rites are robust. Now a rabbi is innovating rituals for Jews who divorce.
(J. The Jewish News of Northern California via JTA) — For Lyssa Jaye, throwing the wood chips into the Tuolumne River felt in many ways familiar to the tashlich ritual performed on Rosh Hashanah. But rather than casting off her sins, she was tossing away feelings: shame, resentment, anger.
They were the emotions that had taken residence inside Jaye since her divorce eight years ago, along with a sense of failure. And she had come to a Jewish retreat to rid herself of them.
“I’ve been carrying around these feelings for years now,” Jaye said. “I have a completely different life now, and I needed to let them go.”
Jaye was taking part in Divorce & Discovery: A Jewish Healing Retreat, the first-ever gathering in a series conceived by Rabbi Deborah Newbrun as part of her training, held this month at Camp Tawonga in the Bay Area.
One of the requirements at the Pluralistic Rabbinical Seminary, where Newbrun was ordained last year in the first graduating class, “was that each of us had to do an innovation, or something that didn’t exist before,” she said.
Newbrun, who directed Camp Tawonga for more than two decades, has been recognized for innovative programming for such achievements as initiating Tawonga’s LGBT family camp and founding its wilderness department. She even won a prestigious 2018 Covenant Award for Jewish educators. But as she started thinking about how to fulfill the seminary requirement, her first thought was, “I don’t have any ideas left in me.”
Then she began reflecting back on her divorce years earlier. She remembered how she had approached numerous rabbis and colleagues in search of Jewish support around the grief she felt. And how they all came up empty-handed.
That’s when she realized: “I can put together something meaningful and helpful for people going through divorce.”
From the moment participants arrived at Camp Tawonga near Yosemite, they knew this would be no ordinary Jewish retreat. At the opening event, all of the facilitators, several clergy members and a therapist shared their own divorce stories, “to set the standard and normalize vulnerability, transparent sharing and establish that we all know what it’s like to have a marriage end,” Newbrun said.
Most participants were from the Bay Area, with a handful from farther afield. They were in different life stages, from those in their 30s dealing with custody battles over young children, to empty nesters in their 60s. Some had separated from their partners years ago, while others had gone their separate ways more recently. Some split amicably; a good many did not. But all had come up against a lack of Jewish resources or support when navigating this major life passage.
Rabbi Deborah Newbrun, the founder of Divorce and Discovery at the recent weekend. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Jaye said she left no stone unturned in seeking out support, an experience Newbrun said she heard echoed by many participants. Jaye attended a retreat at a local meditation center. She read self-help books. She joined a support group for divorcees. She went to therapy.
And while they all helped in different ways, none was specifically Jewish.
“I knew I needed some kind of spiritual way forward,” she said. “I needed to do this in my own language, with my own people.”
Even though the retreat came nearly a decade years after Jaye’s divorce, “it was profound. It felt like coming home, and that this is what I needed all along. This model could be extremely powerful. The rituals we did could be taught in rabbinical schools or to Jewish educators so it’s not just ‘sign this get and goodbye,’” she said, referring to the Jewish divorce document.
Rather than create new rituals, Newbrun and her facilitators took familiar Jewish rituals and retooled them.
The tashlich ritual, led by Newbrun and Maggid Jhos Singer, had a call-and-response portion, and participants also could call out what they personally wanted to cast off. “One person ‘tashliched’ their wedding ring into the river and felt it was such a perfect place to let it go!” said Newbrun.
An optional immersion in the Tuolumne River followed. Jaye, who years ago went to the mikvah alone, with only the attendant there for support, said there was no comparison with how much more healing it felt performing the ritual in community.
A session on sitting shiva for one’s marriage, led by Rabbi Sue Reinhold, allowed participants to share and mourn the loss of what they missed most about being married. That resonated for Robyn Lieberman, who does not attend synagogue services but went to every session at the retreat on innovating Jewish rituals.
“I did need to mourn what I’m losing,” said Lieberman, who had been married to an Israeli. “We had a very public, open house around Jewish religion, and a constant Israeli identity, which fulfilled my Jewish needs.”
Rabbi Jennie Chabon of Congregation B’nai Tikvah in Walnut Creek reflected on how much time she has spent with couples preparing for their wedding day, both in premarital counseling and in planning the event, and on how many marriage-related topics are covered in rabbinical school.
“And when it comes to divorce? Nothing,” Chabon said. “We’re all out here on our own trying to figure out how to wander through it.”
She was tasked with creating a havdalah ceremony with a divorce theme, in which she reimagined the wine, spices and flame typically used to mark a division between Shabbat and the rest of the week.
“There’s a fire that burns within each of us, and that flame doesn’t go out,” said Chabon, 47. “When you’re married for a long time, your identity, energy and spirit is so woven into that of another.” Her ritual was meant to affirm that “you are on fire just as you are, and you’re a blessing as an individual in the world. You don’t need a partnership or family to be whole.”
Even the Shabbat Torah service was on theme.
Rabbi Jennie Chabon reads from the Torah during a service at the Divorce and Discovery retreat. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Rather than focusing on Noah’s emergence from the ark after the flood, Chabon spoke about a lesser-known section of the week’s Torah portion, in which Noah builds a fire and offers a sacrifice to God. But if the entire earth was drenched from the flood, Chabon asked, what did he burn?
“The answer is he must have burned the ark,” Chabon said in recalling her talk at the retreat. “What does that mean for people going through this incredibly painful and tender time in their lives, when what was once a safe container and secure and protected them, they have to burn it down in order to start life anew?
“This is a perfect rebirth metaphor. But what’s being birthed is a new self and a new identity in the world as a single person,” Chabon said. “You have to release and let go of what was to make room for the blessing for who you’re going to become.”
At a ritual “hackathon” workshop presented by Newbrun, participants suggested standing during Kaddish at synagogue to mourn their marriages, and offering their children a Friday night blessing that they are whole whether they are at either parent’s home.
Not all of the sessions centered on Jewish ritual. In a session on the Japanese art of kintsugi, or mending broken pottery, attendees made vessels whose cracks they fixed with putty, symbolizing that beauty can be found in imperfection. Many danced in a Saturday-night silent disco.
Everyone was assigned to a small group, or havurah, that they met with daily, so they could establish deeper connections within the larger cohort.
“To have gone through some of these practices was very meaningful to me,” said Lieberman. “It’s not like I put a seal on my marriage and wrapped it up in a bow and put it behind me, but it was a nice catharsis for completing a transition that I’ve been very thoughtful about.”
Newbrun aims to recreate the retreat in communities around the country. Both Jaye and Lieberman said they found value in being in community with people “who get it,” without the judgment they often face.
“I was a little skeptical that all I’d have in common with people was that we were Jewish and divorced, and that that wouldn’t be enough for me to form a relationship,” said Lieberman. “But having the willingness to talk about it and explore it did open up a lot of very vulnerable conversations. The expert facilitation really made us think about the fact that divorce is not about your paper [certificate], it’s about reexamining the direction of your life and who you want to be.”
A version of this piece originally ran in J. The Jewish News of Northern California, and is reprinted with permission.
—
The post Jewish marriage rites are robust. Now a rabbi is innovating rituals for Jews who divorce. appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
Uncategorized
Guinness World Records Starts Accepting Israeli Submissions Again Following Legal Pressure
People stand next to flags on the day the bodies of deceased Israeli hostages, Oded Lifschitz, Shiri Bibas, and her two children Kfir and Ariel Bibas, who were kidnapped during the deadly Oct. 7, 2023, attack by Hamas, are handed over under the terms of a ceasefire between Hamas and Israel, in Tel Aviv, Israel, Feb. 20, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Ammar Awad
Guinness World Records (GWR) is once again accepting submissions from Israel and the Palestinian territories, following pressure from an association of British lawyers that claimed the policy was discriminatory and threatened the validity of Guiness’s registered trademarks.
GWR confirmed to UK Lawyers for Israel (UKLFI) via email that it ended its temporary pause on submissions from Israel and the Palestinian territories that was implemented in November 2023, shortly after the start of the war in the Gaza Strip following the Hamas-led Oct. 7 terrorist attack across southern Israel.
The exclusionary policy drew widespread condemnation in early December after Guinness World Records refused to accept a submission from the Israeli NGO Matnat Chaim, which was hoping to set a world record with an event in Jerusalem where 2,000 Israeli kidney donors will gather in one place.
GWR told Matnat Chaim at the time it was “not generally processing” record applications from Israel or the Palestinian territories “with the exception of those done in cooperation with a UN humanitarian aid relief agency.” Guinness denied claims that its policy against submissions from Israel or the Palestinian territories unlawfully excluded and discriminated against Israelis and Palestinians because the policy was based on location, not nationality or ethnicity.
In late December, UKLFI wrote to Guinness and warned that the company could face legal risks because of the policy and that it amounted to indirect discrimination. UKLFI noted that marketing publications under the title “Guinness World Records” while excluding records from in Israel or the Palestinian territories could be considered unfair commercial practice under consumer protection law. The policy could also risk the validity of Guinness’s registered trademarks, according to UKLFI.
Starting Jan. 15, GWR resumed its “routine acceptance” of applications, it told UKLFI in an email shared with The Algemeiner.
“We have continued to monitor the situation in the region carefully, reviewing the policy monthly,” GWR wrote. “The recent ceasefire and the return to a more stable environment have been key factors in these reviews. With these factors in mind … we recommenced our routine acceptance of applications for world records from Israel and the Palestinian Territories, including the application made by the Matnam Chaim charity.”
The company added that the decision to resume processing applications from the region was not an admission that its temporary pause had been unlawful or that its trademarks had been used improperly. Guinness also shared that several records set in Israel had in fact been recognized during the temporary pause. They included records for the fastest robot to solve a rotating puzzle clock, most backward somersault burpees in 30 seconds done by a male, oldest female person to perform a headstand, most sequences completed in a game of “Simon,” and tallest drag performer.
“Guinness World Records’ decision to resume accepting submissions from Israel and the Palestinian territories is welcome,” said UKLFI chief executive Jonathan Turner. “Excluding particular countries carries serious legal and commercial risks. Global organizations cannot present themselves as neutral and inclusive while applying exceptional policies to certain countries, particularly where this misleads consumers and disadvantages entire populations.”
Israeli Foreign Minister Gideon Sa’ar also commented on GWR’s change in policy, celebrating that the massive gathering of kidney donors in Jerusalem will be recognized.
“Two thousand Israeli kidney donors are making the largest donation ever, in a selfless act of solidarity and humanity,” Sa’ar posted on the social media platform X on Monday. “Good to see it finally receive the celebration it deserves by the Guinness World Records, which revoked their original distorted decision to deny Israeli kidney donors their rightful recognition.”
Uncategorized
California Theater Apologizes for Canceling Show by Israeli Comedian After He Refuses to Condemn Home Country
Illustrative: Bondi shooting survivor Chaya Dadon, 14, holds a pendant, in the shape of Israel, and a partial Star of David engraved on it, that she bought a few hours before the shooting in Sydney, Australia, Dec. 19, 2025. Photo: Reuters/Cordelia Hsu
The Fine Arts Theater in Beverly Hills, California apologized for canceling a show by Israeli stand-up comedian Guy Hochman after he declined the venue’s demand to issue a public statement denouncing “genocide, rape, starvation, and torture of Palestinian civilians.”
In a statement posted on Instagram and on the theater’s website over the weekend, Michael S. Hall, president of the Screening Services Group, acknowledged that canceling Hochman’s scheduled appearance on Tuesday at the Fine Arts Theater was poorly handled. He said the venue, which will host screenings as part of the 37th Israel Film Festival in February, has contacted Hochman’s representatives and is open to rescheduling his performance if “it can be done safely.”
The relationship between the theater and the Screening Services Group was not immediately clear.
Hall also admitted that the decision to cancel the show was made after he and the theater received several messages from the public, including threats of violence, related to Hochman’s performance.
“I want to apologize, especially to the Jewish community, for my statement and for how this situation was handled,” Hall wrote. “I understand that my decision caused harm and distress to many people in the community, and I take responsibility for that … I made the decision to cancel the show without giving the matter the careful thought and judgement it required. That was my mistake.”
He also acknowledged it was wrong to ask a performer “to make political or ideological statements as a condition of appearing” and that “imposing a litmus test of any kind was a mistake and should never have happened.”
“The Fine Arts Theater has supported and will continue to support Jewish and Israeli projects, artists, and community events,” Hall added. “I am committed to ensuring the theater remains a place for culture and expression without discrimination. I am already engaging with members of the local Jewish community and will continue to listen, learn, and work with community leaders moving forward.”
Hall’s apology follows a public statement from the venue that said Hochman was banned from the theater after he declined to issue a public statement denouncing “genocide, rape, starvation, and torture of Palestinian civilians.”
The statement also acknowledged that the venue could not corroborate accusations made against the comedian but still asked him to issue a public statement against Israel. Hochman talked about the venue’s demands in an Instagram video and said he will never condemn his home country.
The former Israel Defense Forces (IDF) soldier further told The Hollywood Reporter he does not accept Hall’s apology and refuses to return to the venue.
“Do I think he’s sincere? No. He’s doing it because he was pressured,” Hochman said of Hall. “He doesn’t care. He tested me, like a loyalty test. For me, my people come before my career. I don’t care about money. I will never say lies about my people. I will never say things like rape, starvation, or genocide. That is not the story, and I don’t believe it … Jewish pride comes before everything.”
Actress and comedian Amy Schumer came to Hochman’s defense on Sunday. In an Instagram story, she wrote that the venue’s demand for Hochman to publicly condemn his country was “straight up wrong.”
“They canceled his show, admitted there’s zero evidence, and only backpedaled after the backlash. No artist should sign a forced apology note just to perform,” Schumer wrote. “Last I checked, we don’t run like those dictatorship-run spots, demanding stars trash America before letting them on stage.” Hochman shared Schumer’s statement on his Instagram story.
Photo: Screenshot
Hochman’s stand-up comedy tour has faced protests in several cities, and his scheduled show in New York City last week was canceled over safety concerns. He was also detained for several hours by Canadian border officials earlier this month after the pro-Palestinian advocacy group Hind Rajab Foundation filed a legal complaint against him, accusing the comedian of war crimes and “incitement to genocide.” The comedian was released and not charged, but his Canadian visa was revoked. His scheduled performance in Dallas, Texas, this week was canceled because of a winter storm in the region.
Uncategorized
As with Cain and Abel, the blood of our brother Alex Pretti is crying out from the ground
We don’t have to quote Pastor Niemoller anymore.
Because Alex Pretti could have been any of us. He could’ve been me, you, your neighbor, or your rabbi. In fact, many of my rabbinic colleagues and friends are on the streets of Minneapolis at this very moment. They are brave, patriotic and principled, and having known some of them for many years, I know that they, like Pretti, would protect the most vulnerable, even at unfathomable cost.
And what was Pretti doing? He was protesting peacefully, recording ICE agents with his iPhone. He tried to protect a woman the agents were attacking. He never drew the gun that he legally carried in its holster. He was beaten, and once on the ground, he was shot 10 times. His last words were “Are you OK?”
No longer are “they” coming only for ‘illegal’ immigrants, legal immigrants arriving at their court dates, permanent residents, Latinos, Asians, Somalians, veterans, and Black off-duty police officers.
“They” are now coming for us.
And they hate us. They lie about us, calling us assassins and terrorists. Their rage is palpable, and egged on by right-wing podcasts and right-wing media. We hate America, we are rioters, we are terrorists, we are Antifa. “Have you not learned? This is why we killed that lesbian bitch,” an ICE agent said to a protester two weeks ago, referring to Renee Good.
Even after Pretti’s murder, the Fox News headline was “Minnesota ICE official warns of unrest ‘like nothing I’ve ever seen before.’”
Other than the murder itself, the lies have been the most disturbing part of this spectacle; the immediate rush to lie about and vilify Alex Pretti, a VA nurse described by everyone who knew him as kind, caring, altruistic, and just the sort of person who would put himself in harm’s way to protect a stranger.
Stephen Miller called him a “would-be assassin” and a “terrorist.”
Commander Gregory Bovino (who parades around in a military ‘greatcoat’ that is popular among neo-Nazis online) said that Pretti planned to “massacre law enforcement” and had “violently resisted” before his men killed him, despite the video evidence flatly contradicting the latter claim.
DHS Secretary Kristi Noem said “this looks like a situation where an individual arrived at the scene to inflict maximum damage on individuals and to kill law enforcement.” Yet Pretti had his iPhone out to record what the ICE officers were doing.
There are two reasons these lies are the second-worst part of this episode.
First, it is morally repellent to drag Pretti and his family through the mud — and, if Renee Good’s family is any example, expose them to doxxing, death threats and defamation. Just imagine what they will say about me if they kill me at a protest. Or you. Or your rabbi.
Second, this isn’t one ICE agent. This is an entire apparatus of dehumanization and deceit. And though polling says only 20% of Americans believe that Pretti deserved to be shot, large swaths of America believe this extremist propaganda. We all have targets on our backs, painted by the government and their media apparatus.
There is a teaching in the Torah about this. It is, in fact, the first teaching in the Torah about the violence people do to one another: the story of Cain and Abel.
You know the myth, in all its brevity and primal truth. Cain and Abel are brothers. Both have offered sacrifices to God, though the text suggests Abel gives of his best while Cain does not. And so, Abel’s sacrifice is accepted and Cain’s is not. Vayichar l’kayin me’od; Cain is infuriated, filled with rage. God speaks reprovingly to Cain, telling him in essence that he has gotten what he deserved, that he must curb his desires more. But Cain does not accept this lesson and kills his brother in jealousy and rage.
As we all know, God asks Cain where Abel is — though of course, God already knows. Cain replies “I don’t know. Am I my brother’s keeper?”
But God responds, “What have you done? The voice of your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground.”
Read closely and see. Cain is lying, of course; he knows exactly what he has done. He also denies responsibility; it’s not his job, he says, to take care of Abel. Ha-shomer achi anochi, he asks. Literally, am I my brother’s guard? His protector? Am I supposed to keep him safe?
Cain’s lies are like those of Miller, Bovino, Noem, and the rest. They are transparently preposterous. We are not God, but we can all watch the videotape; we can all inspect the freeze-frames of Pretti lying on the ground being beaten and then being shot.
And we can all easily learn that Pretti, like Abel, was innocent. He was not violently resisting, he posed no threat to these officers. He was no more a “terrorist” than I am — indeed, the word ‘terrorist’ has now become just a slur, drained of actual meaning, as if a non-violent activist is no different from the Bondi Beach terrorist or the Tree of Life terrorist. What a disgusting side-note, that the government has rendered this word meaningless.
Pretti’s blood cries out from the ground. And it is louder than the lies of the murderers.
One final epilogue. There is a midrash (Genesis Rabba 22:9) that blames God for Abel’s murder, because God could have prevented it but chose not to do so. When God says that Abel’s blood is crying out, the midrash says, it is crying out at God.
This is a bold midrash, accusing the Almighty of complicity in murder. But it is aimed at us, not God. None of us individually has the power to stop the next murder in Minneapolis, or Iran, or Gaza, or anywhere else, but collectively, we have the power to rise up against this injustice. We are made in the image of God, and with that similitude comes responsibility. We cannot turn away anymore. The blood cries out from the ground – to each and every one of us.
The post As with Cain and Abel, the blood of our brother Alex Pretti is crying out from the ground appeared first on The Forward.