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Jewish marriage rites are robust. Now a rabbi is innovating rituals for Jews who divorce.
(J. The Jewish News of Northern California via JTA) — For Lyssa Jaye, throwing the wood chips into the Tuolumne River felt in many ways familiar to the tashlich ritual performed on Rosh Hashanah. But rather than casting off her sins, she was tossing away feelings: shame, resentment, anger.
They were the emotions that had taken residence inside Jaye since her divorce eight years ago, along with a sense of failure. And she had come to a Jewish retreat to rid herself of them.
“I’ve been carrying around these feelings for years now,” Jaye said. “I have a completely different life now, and I needed to let them go.”
Jaye was taking part in Divorce & Discovery: A Jewish Healing Retreat, the first-ever gathering in a series conceived by Rabbi Deborah Newbrun as part of her training, held this month at Camp Tawonga in the Bay Area.
One of the requirements at the Pluralistic Rabbinical Seminary, where Newbrun was ordained last year in the first graduating class, “was that each of us had to do an innovation, or something that didn’t exist before,” she said.
Newbrun, who directed Camp Tawonga for more than two decades, has been recognized for innovative programming for such achievements as initiating Tawonga’s LGBT family camp and founding its wilderness department. She even won a prestigious 2018 Covenant Award for Jewish educators. But as she started thinking about how to fulfill the seminary requirement, her first thought was, “I don’t have any ideas left in me.”
Then she began reflecting back on her divorce years earlier. She remembered how she had approached numerous rabbis and colleagues in search of Jewish support around the grief she felt. And how they all came up empty-handed.
That’s when she realized: “I can put together something meaningful and helpful for people going through divorce.”
From the moment participants arrived at Camp Tawonga near Yosemite, they knew this would be no ordinary Jewish retreat. At the opening event, all of the facilitators, several clergy members and a therapist shared their own divorce stories, “to set the standard and normalize vulnerability, transparent sharing and establish that we all know what it’s like to have a marriage end,” Newbrun said.
Most participants were from the Bay Area, with a handful from farther afield. They were in different life stages, from those in their 30s dealing with custody battles over young children, to empty nesters in their 60s. Some had separated from their partners years ago, while others had gone their separate ways more recently. Some split amicably; a good many did not. But all had come up against a lack of Jewish resources or support when navigating this major life passage.
Rabbi Deborah Newbrun, the founder of Divorce and Discovery at the recent weekend. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Jaye said she left no stone unturned in seeking out support, an experience Newbrun said she heard echoed by many participants. Jaye attended a retreat at a local meditation center. She read self-help books. She joined a support group for divorcees. She went to therapy.
And while they all helped in different ways, none was specifically Jewish.
“I knew I needed some kind of spiritual way forward,” she said. “I needed to do this in my own language, with my own people.”
Even though the retreat came nearly a decade years after Jaye’s divorce, “it was profound. It felt like coming home, and that this is what I needed all along. This model could be extremely powerful. The rituals we did could be taught in rabbinical schools or to Jewish educators so it’s not just ‘sign this get and goodbye,’” she said, referring to the Jewish divorce document.
Rather than create new rituals, Newbrun and her facilitators took familiar Jewish rituals and retooled them.
The tashlich ritual, led by Newbrun and Maggid Jhos Singer, had a call-and-response portion, and participants also could call out what they personally wanted to cast off. “One person ‘tashliched’ their wedding ring into the river and felt it was such a perfect place to let it go!” said Newbrun.
An optional immersion in the Tuolumne River followed. Jaye, who years ago went to the mikvah alone, with only the attendant there for support, said there was no comparison with how much more healing it felt performing the ritual in community.
A session on sitting shiva for one’s marriage, led by Rabbi Sue Reinhold, allowed participants to share and mourn the loss of what they missed most about being married. That resonated for Robyn Lieberman, who does not attend synagogue services but went to every session at the retreat on innovating Jewish rituals.
“I did need to mourn what I’m losing,” said Lieberman, who had been married to an Israeli. “We had a very public, open house around Jewish religion, and a constant Israeli identity, which fulfilled my Jewish needs.”
Rabbi Jennie Chabon of Congregation B’nai Tikvah in Walnut Creek reflected on how much time she has spent with couples preparing for their wedding day, both in premarital counseling and in planning the event, and on how many marriage-related topics are covered in rabbinical school.
“And when it comes to divorce? Nothing,” Chabon said. “We’re all out here on our own trying to figure out how to wander through it.”
She was tasked with creating a havdalah ceremony with a divorce theme, in which she reimagined the wine, spices and flame typically used to mark a division between Shabbat and the rest of the week.
“There’s a fire that burns within each of us, and that flame doesn’t go out,” said Chabon, 47. “When you’re married for a long time, your identity, energy and spirit is so woven into that of another.” Her ritual was meant to affirm that “you are on fire just as you are, and you’re a blessing as an individual in the world. You don’t need a partnership or family to be whole.”
Even the Shabbat Torah service was on theme.
Rabbi Jennie Chabon reads from the Torah during a service at the Divorce and Discovery retreat. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Rather than focusing on Noah’s emergence from the ark after the flood, Chabon spoke about a lesser-known section of the week’s Torah portion, in which Noah builds a fire and offers a sacrifice to God. But if the entire earth was drenched from the flood, Chabon asked, what did he burn?
“The answer is he must have burned the ark,” Chabon said in recalling her talk at the retreat. “What does that mean for people going through this incredibly painful and tender time in their lives, when what was once a safe container and secure and protected them, they have to burn it down in order to start life anew?
“This is a perfect rebirth metaphor. But what’s being birthed is a new self and a new identity in the world as a single person,” Chabon said. “You have to release and let go of what was to make room for the blessing for who you’re going to become.”
At a ritual “hackathon” workshop presented by Newbrun, participants suggested standing during Kaddish at synagogue to mourn their marriages, and offering their children a Friday night blessing that they are whole whether they are at either parent’s home.
Not all of the sessions centered on Jewish ritual. In a session on the Japanese art of kintsugi, or mending broken pottery, attendees made vessels whose cracks they fixed with putty, symbolizing that beauty can be found in imperfection. Many danced in a Saturday-night silent disco.
Everyone was assigned to a small group, or havurah, that they met with daily, so they could establish deeper connections within the larger cohort.
“To have gone through some of these practices was very meaningful to me,” said Lieberman. “It’s not like I put a seal on my marriage and wrapped it up in a bow and put it behind me, but it was a nice catharsis for completing a transition that I’ve been very thoughtful about.”
Newbrun aims to recreate the retreat in communities around the country. Both Jaye and Lieberman said they found value in being in community with people “who get it,” without the judgment they often face.
“I was a little skeptical that all I’d have in common with people was that we were Jewish and divorced, and that that wouldn’t be enough for me to form a relationship,” said Lieberman. “But having the willingness to talk about it and explore it did open up a lot of very vulnerable conversations. The expert facilitation really made us think about the fact that divorce is not about your paper [certificate], it’s about reexamining the direction of your life and who you want to be.”
A version of this piece originally ran in J. The Jewish News of Northern California, and is reprinted with permission.
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San Diego Group Apologizes for Disinviting Rabbi From MLK Jr. Event Over ‘Safety Concerns,’ Pro-Israel Stance
The Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial in Washington, DC. Photo: Reuters / Allison Shelley.
Organizers of a Martin Luther King Jr. Day event in San Diego, California, have apologized for disinviting a rabbi from speaking due to his stance on the Israel-Hamas war and “safety concerns.”
Alliance San Diego made the apology in a released statement after receiving widespread criticism for its treatment of Rabbi Hanan Leberman, the leader of Tifereth Israel Synagogue in San Diego. He was originally scheduled to lead the closing prayer at the city’s 38th annual All Peoples Celebration at the Balboa Park Activity Center on Jan. 19.
In a description for the event, Alliance San Diego invited the public to “choose Courage; to decide, with intention, to do what is right even when the fear and opposition are loud. Now more than ever, our voices must rise above hesitation. We must claim our dignity and echo the notion that any attack on one, is an attack on us all.”
A day before the event, Leberman wrote in a Facebook post he was “deeply upset” to learn he had been disinvited from presenting at the ceremony because of his “connection to Israel.” Alliance San Diego claimed Leberman was instead invited to attend the program as a guest, but the rabbi said he ultimately decided not to attend the event at all.
The decision to disinvite Leberman from presenting at the event was condemned by a coalition of nearly four dozen community-based organizations, social service providers, and synagogues in a joint statement published on Jan. 18.
While apologizing for the move in a statement shared on Instagram, Alliance San Diego also explained its decision, saying that event organizers faced “major disruption over two speakers’ public stances on the conflict in Israel-Palestine.”
“We hear the community’s concern that this decision felt to some like an exclusion of Jewish identity echoing historical traumas and antisemitic patterns present in many public spaces today. This was not our intention, and we apologize for reinforcing this pattern,” the group said. “To protect the attendees at the celebration and keep the focus on Dr. King, we asked both speakers to attend as our guests instead of present on the program. Our decision was based solely on safety concerns and was communicated in person conversations with the speakers. We recognize, however, that intent does not erase impact, and we take responsibility for the hurt caused … A deep source of regret is that our missteps have distracted us from our core work of creating a San Diego that is safe for all people.”
Leberman was born in Chicago, raised in Philadelphia, and ordained as a rabbi in Israel, where he lived and worked before moving to San Diego, according to the website for Tifereth Israel Synagogue. He moved to Israel at the age of 20 and served three years in the undercover counter-terrorist unit Duvduvan of the Israel Defense Forces, often serving as the unit’s cantor. Leberman studied at the Jerusalem Academy of Music, and aside from being a cantor, he is also a professional opera singer. He served as a rabbi and cantor for the Masorti movement in Israel and led congregations as a guest cantor in Israel, England, and the United States.
Alliance San Diego said in an earlier statement that it asked two speakers to give up their speaking roles at the event “in response to concerns about potential disruption related to Zionism and anti-Zionism,” but noted they had not been disinvited. The other speaker was not publicly identified but also ultimately decided not to attend the event.
“At the time, we believed we were acting in the best interest of protecting attendees and preserving the spirit of the event,” the group said in its statement. “Our intention was never to exclude Jewish faith leaders or Jewish voices from this space. As an organization working across many communities under immense strain and confronting assaults on immigrant communities, including Jewish and Israeli immigrants at a time of rising antisemitism and fear, we acknowledge that our decision contributed to that pain rather than alleviating it.”
Leberman said in his Facebook post on Jan. 18 that disinviting him from speaking at the event “runs counter to Dr. King’s message — particularly at this moment in history, when Jews are experiencing the most significant rise in hate crimes of any group.”
“The decision to disinvite me is, in my view, a disservice to the legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr,” he added. “I believe the organization would benefit from deeper education about what Zionism truly is and about what the Jewish community is facing today — from both the left and the right.”
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Jessica Tisch affixes a mezuzah to her NYPD office on International Holocaust Remembrance Day
Jessica Tisch, New York City’s Jewish police commissioner, on Tuesday affixed a mezuzah to the front doorframe of her office at One Police Plaza, a NYPD spokesperson told the Forward. The brief ceremony took place on International Holocaust Remembrance Day.
A mezuzah, a small scroll containing the Shema and V’ahavta in a decorative case, traditionally marks a Jewish home or office as sacred and serves as a public expression of Jewish identity. Tisch made the blessing before putting up the scroll in the presence of a small group of uniformed and civilian Jewish members of the police force.
In a statement, Tisch called it “a small but meaningful symbol of faith and resilience” that affirms that “Jewish faith and tradition endure with strength and pride” after the Holocaust.
Tisch, 44, comes from one of the city’s most prominent Jewish families. The family name was originally Tichinsky when her ancestors immigrated to the United States from Ukraine in 1904, and it was later shortened as a nickname when her great-grandfather Avraham was cheered as a captain of the City College of New York’s basketball team. Her grandfather, Rabbi Philip Hiat, a Reform rabbi known for his interfaith work, served as a police chaplain in the New York City Housing Authority Police Department.
Tisch said on Tuesday that placing the mezuzah, which was purchased in Israel and given to her by her mother Merryl, at her office is a “reminder that in this city, every community belongs, and every identity deserves to be lived openly and without fear.”
✡️ EXCLUSIVE: Marking International Holocaust Remembrance Day, NYPD Commissioner Jessica Tisch affixed a mezuzah to the front doorframe of her office at One Police Plaza.
Details ⬇️https://t.co/94SYmxPyAg pic.twitter.com/NXcGjav16f
— Jacob N. Kornbluh (@jacobkornbluh) January 27, 2026
Tisch has spoken openly and proudly about her Judaism in public appearances. When Tisch was sworn in as NYPD commissioner in 2024, she wore a Star of David necklace to the ceremony. Last year she told second and third graders at Ramaz School about her leadership role, “You can be anything you want to be, whether you’re a woman, a mother, or an observant Jew.” Five of her deputies are also Jewish.
The police commissioner is widely respected in the Jewish community for her record on public safety and for her strong support of Israel. Tisch agreed to remain in her post under Mayor Zohran Mamdani, who has come under growing scrutiny over his anti-Zionist worldview and his revocation of executive orders tied to antisemitism and pro-Palestinian protests.
According to a New York Times report, Tisch made the decision to work with Mamdani over a bowl of matzah ball soup during Shabbat dinner with her family
The post Jessica Tisch affixes a mezuzah to her NYPD office on International Holocaust Remembrance Day appeared first on The Forward.
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Pope Leo Says Catholic Church ‘Unwavering’ in Its Opposition to ‘Every Form of Antisemitism’
Pope Leo XIV holds a Jubilee audience on the occasion of the Jubilee of Sport, at St. Peter’s Basilica, at the Vatican June 14, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Yara Nardi
Pope Leo XIV on Tuesday marked International Holocaust Remembrance Day with a statement reaffirming the Catholic Church’s “unwavering” opposition to antisemitism.
“On Holocaust Remembrance Day, I would like to recall that the Church remains faithful to the unwavering position of the Declaration #NostraAetate against every form of antisemitism,” the pope posted on the X social media platform. “The Church rejects any discrimination or harassment based on ethnicity, language, nationality, or religion.”
On Holocaust Remembrance Day, I would like to recall that the Church remains faithful to the unwavering position of the Declaration #NostraAetate against every form of antisemitism. The Church rejects any discrimination or harassment based on ethnicity, language, nationality, or…
— Pope Leo XIV (@Pontifex) January 27, 2026
The post concluded with a link to Nostra Aetate, a declaration from the Second Vatican Council and promulgated on Oct. 28, 1965, by Pope Paul VI that called for dialogue and respect between Christianity and other religions. The theological reform called for a position of Christian-Jewish brotherhood, advocating “the bond that spiritually ties the people of the New Covenant to Abraham’s stock.”
Leo offered his message opposing antisemitism as the Israeli Ministry of Diaspora Affairs and Combating antisemitism released its newest research into global hate against Jews.
The report documents 815 “serious” incidents around the world — including 21 murders of Jews — as well as 124 million antisemitic X postings and more than 4,000 anti-Israel demonstrations.
“On International Holocaust Remembrance Day, we are called not only to remember, but to act. The ministry stands alongside Jewish communities, monitors and collects information in real time, and pursues the perpetrators of antisemitism and hatred wherever they are,” Amichai Chikli, the Israeli minister of diaspora affairs and combating antisemitism, said in a statement.
Chikli urged a proactive strategy, arguing that “antisemitism is rising in various arenas – yet our responsibility is not to remain on the defensive, but to go on the offensive.”
Leo has repeatedly spoken out against antisemitism and promoted Nostra Aetate since he began his papacy last year.
In October, the pontiff condemned antisemitism and affirmed the Catholic Church’s commitment to combating hatred and persecution against the Jewish people, arguing his faith demands such a stance.
Speaking in St. Pete’s Square at the Vatican, Leo acknowledged the 60th anniversary of Nostra Aetate, saying, “I too confirm that the Church does not tolerate antisemitism and fights against it, on the basis of the Gospel itself.”
“This luminous document teaches us to meet the followers of other religions not as outsiders, but as traveling companions on the path of truth; to honor differences affirming our common humanity; and to discern, in every sincere religious search, a reflection of the one divine mystery that embraces all creation,” Leo continued.
He then added that the primary focus of Nostra Aetate was toward the Jewish people, explaining that Pope John XXIII, who preceded Paul VI, intended to “re-establish the original relationship.”
Nostra Aetate details the close bonds between Jews and Christians.
“The Church, therefore, cannot forget that she received the revelation of the Old Testament through the people with whom God in His inexpressible mercy concluded the Ancient Covenant,” the proclamation states. “Nor can she forget that she draws sustenance from the root of that well-cultivated olive tree onto which have been grafted the wild shoots, the Gentiles. Indeed, the Church believes that by His cross Christ, Our Peace, reconciled Jews and Gentiles making both one in Himself.”
The document also opposes antisemitism, proclaiming that “in her rejection of every persecution against any man, the Church, mindful of the patrimony she shares with the Jews and moved not by political reasons but by the Gospel’s spiritual love, decries hatred, persecutions, displays of antisemitism, directed against Jews at any time and by anyone.”
Jewish leaders have expressed optimism for interfaith relations under Leo’s leadership.
Rabbi Noam Marans, director of interreligious affairs at the American Jewish Committee (AJC), told The Algemeiner in May that “his remarks to the Jewish people have actually been extraordinary.”
At the time, just after being elected to the papacy, Leo met with Jewish leaders and other faith representatives at the Vatican. “Because of the Jewish roots of Christianity, all Christians have a special relationship with Judaism,” he said during the meeting. “Even in these difficult times, marked by conflicts and misunderstandings, it is necessary to continue the momentum of this precious dialogue of ours.”
Before the beginning of Leo’s pontificate, Israeli-Vatican relations had come under strain due to the late Pope Francis’s statements about the war to defeat Hamas in Gaza, including his suggestion that the Jewish state was committing genocide.
There has been a recent rise in promoting antisemitism among some Catholic podcasters and social media influencers, especially on the political right. Nick Fuentes, for example, has praised Adolf Hitler and even called for the extermination of Jewish people from American civilization.
The Anti-Defamation League (ADL) wrote that Fuentes “frequently makes his support known for the Traditionalist Catholic view that rejects the Nostra Aetate, the papal document that declared that modern Jews bear no guilt for the death of Christ.”
The ADL revealed that in March 2024 on Telegram, “Fuentes wrote that he and his followers ‘rightly defend the traditional Catholic view,’ blaming Jews for ‘crucifying our Lord.’”
Nostra Aetate explicitly rejects such rhetoric, stating that the death of Jesus cannot be charged “against all the Jews, without distinction, then alive, nor against the Jews of today.” It also states that “the Jews should not be presented as rejected or accursed by God, as if this followed from the Holy Scriptures.”
Recent Catholic convert Candace Owens, who joined the church in April 2024, has also used her platforms which enable her to influence millions of followers to demonize the Jewish people. A study released in December showed how Owens and fellow podcaster Tucker Carlson boosted their anti-Israel content last year.
US Vice President JD Vance also converted to Catholicism in recent years, joining the church in 2019. Vance has disputed the rise of antisemitism on the political right and failed to counter antisemitic statements when confronted with them in public settings. On Friday, Axios published secret recordings of US Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) telling donors last year that “Tucker created JD. JD is Tucker’s protégé, and they are one and the same.”