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Jewish marriage rites are robust. Now a rabbi is innovating rituals for Jews who divorce.
(J. The Jewish News of Northern California via JTA) — For Lyssa Jaye, throwing the wood chips into the Tuolumne River felt in many ways familiar to the tashlich ritual performed on Rosh Hashanah. But rather than casting off her sins, she was tossing away feelings: shame, resentment, anger.
They were the emotions that had taken residence inside Jaye since her divorce eight years ago, along with a sense of failure. And she had come to a Jewish retreat to rid herself of them.
“I’ve been carrying around these feelings for years now,” Jaye said. “I have a completely different life now, and I needed to let them go.”
Jaye was taking part in Divorce & Discovery: A Jewish Healing Retreat, the first-ever gathering in a series conceived by Rabbi Deborah Newbrun as part of her training, held this month at Camp Tawonga in the Bay Area.
One of the requirements at the Pluralistic Rabbinical Seminary, where Newbrun was ordained last year in the first graduating class, “was that each of us had to do an innovation, or something that didn’t exist before,” she said.
Newbrun, who directed Camp Tawonga for more than two decades, has been recognized for innovative programming for such achievements as initiating Tawonga’s LGBT family camp and founding its wilderness department. She even won a prestigious 2018 Covenant Award for Jewish educators. But as she started thinking about how to fulfill the seminary requirement, her first thought was, “I don’t have any ideas left in me.”
Then she began reflecting back on her divorce years earlier. She remembered how she had approached numerous rabbis and colleagues in search of Jewish support around the grief she felt. And how they all came up empty-handed.
That’s when she realized: “I can put together something meaningful and helpful for people going through divorce.”
From the moment participants arrived at Camp Tawonga near Yosemite, they knew this would be no ordinary Jewish retreat. At the opening event, all of the facilitators, several clergy members and a therapist shared their own divorce stories, “to set the standard and normalize vulnerability, transparent sharing and establish that we all know what it’s like to have a marriage end,” Newbrun said.
Most participants were from the Bay Area, with a handful from farther afield. They were in different life stages, from those in their 30s dealing with custody battles over young children, to empty nesters in their 60s. Some had separated from their partners years ago, while others had gone their separate ways more recently. Some split amicably; a good many did not. But all had come up against a lack of Jewish resources or support when navigating this major life passage.
Rabbi Deborah Newbrun, the founder of Divorce and Discovery at the recent weekend. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Jaye said she left no stone unturned in seeking out support, an experience Newbrun said she heard echoed by many participants. Jaye attended a retreat at a local meditation center. She read self-help books. She joined a support group for divorcees. She went to therapy.
And while they all helped in different ways, none was specifically Jewish.
“I knew I needed some kind of spiritual way forward,” she said. “I needed to do this in my own language, with my own people.”
Even though the retreat came nearly a decade years after Jaye’s divorce, “it was profound. It felt like coming home, and that this is what I needed all along. This model could be extremely powerful. The rituals we did could be taught in rabbinical schools or to Jewish educators so it’s not just ‘sign this get and goodbye,’” she said, referring to the Jewish divorce document.
Rather than create new rituals, Newbrun and her facilitators took familiar Jewish rituals and retooled them.
The tashlich ritual, led by Newbrun and Maggid Jhos Singer, had a call-and-response portion, and participants also could call out what they personally wanted to cast off. “One person ‘tashliched’ their wedding ring into the river and felt it was such a perfect place to let it go!” said Newbrun.
An optional immersion in the Tuolumne River followed. Jaye, who years ago went to the mikvah alone, with only the attendant there for support, said there was no comparison with how much more healing it felt performing the ritual in community.
A session on sitting shiva for one’s marriage, led by Rabbi Sue Reinhold, allowed participants to share and mourn the loss of what they missed most about being married. That resonated for Robyn Lieberman, who does not attend synagogue services but went to every session at the retreat on innovating Jewish rituals.
“I did need to mourn what I’m losing,” said Lieberman, who had been married to an Israeli. “We had a very public, open house around Jewish religion, and a constant Israeli identity, which fulfilled my Jewish needs.”
Rabbi Jennie Chabon of Congregation B’nai Tikvah in Walnut Creek reflected on how much time she has spent with couples preparing for their wedding day, both in premarital counseling and in planning the event, and on how many marriage-related topics are covered in rabbinical school.
“And when it comes to divorce? Nothing,” Chabon said. “We’re all out here on our own trying to figure out how to wander through it.”
She was tasked with creating a havdalah ceremony with a divorce theme, in which she reimagined the wine, spices and flame typically used to mark a division between Shabbat and the rest of the week.
“There’s a fire that burns within each of us, and that flame doesn’t go out,” said Chabon, 47. “When you’re married for a long time, your identity, energy and spirit is so woven into that of another.” Her ritual was meant to affirm that “you are on fire just as you are, and you’re a blessing as an individual in the world. You don’t need a partnership or family to be whole.”
Even the Shabbat Torah service was on theme.
Rabbi Jennie Chabon reads from the Torah during a service at the Divorce and Discovery retreat. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Rather than focusing on Noah’s emergence from the ark after the flood, Chabon spoke about a lesser-known section of the week’s Torah portion, in which Noah builds a fire and offers a sacrifice to God. But if the entire earth was drenched from the flood, Chabon asked, what did he burn?
“The answer is he must have burned the ark,” Chabon said in recalling her talk at the retreat. “What does that mean for people going through this incredibly painful and tender time in their lives, when what was once a safe container and secure and protected them, they have to burn it down in order to start life anew?
“This is a perfect rebirth metaphor. But what’s being birthed is a new self and a new identity in the world as a single person,” Chabon said. “You have to release and let go of what was to make room for the blessing for who you’re going to become.”
At a ritual “hackathon” workshop presented by Newbrun, participants suggested standing during Kaddish at synagogue to mourn their marriages, and offering their children a Friday night blessing that they are whole whether they are at either parent’s home.
Not all of the sessions centered on Jewish ritual. In a session on the Japanese art of kintsugi, or mending broken pottery, attendees made vessels whose cracks they fixed with putty, symbolizing that beauty can be found in imperfection. Many danced in a Saturday-night silent disco.
Everyone was assigned to a small group, or havurah, that they met with daily, so they could establish deeper connections within the larger cohort.
“To have gone through some of these practices was very meaningful to me,” said Lieberman. “It’s not like I put a seal on my marriage and wrapped it up in a bow and put it behind me, but it was a nice catharsis for completing a transition that I’ve been very thoughtful about.”
Newbrun aims to recreate the retreat in communities around the country. Both Jaye and Lieberman said they found value in being in community with people “who get it,” without the judgment they often face.
“I was a little skeptical that all I’d have in common with people was that we were Jewish and divorced, and that that wouldn’t be enough for me to form a relationship,” said Lieberman. “But having the willingness to talk about it and explore it did open up a lot of very vulnerable conversations. The expert facilitation really made us think about the fact that divorce is not about your paper [certificate], it’s about reexamining the direction of your life and who you want to be.”
A version of this piece originally ran in J. The Jewish News of Northern California, and is reprinted with permission.
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Syrian State Forces Deploy in Kurdish-Run City Under Ceasefire Deal
Syrian Interior Ministry security forces vehicles travel to enter the city of Hasakah in northeastern Syria, following an agreement between Damascus and the Syrian Democratic Forces reached on Jan. 30, in Al-hasakah, Syria, Feb. 2, 2026. Photo: REUTERS/Khalil Ashawi
Syrian government security forces deployed in a Kurdish-controlled city in the northeast on Monday, a first step toward implementing a US-backed ceasefire deal that foresees the Kurdish–run regions being merged with Damascus.
The deal, declared on Friday, staved off the prospect of further confrontation between President Ahmed al-Sharaa’s government and the Kurdish-led Syrian Democratic Forces, which lost swathes of eastern and northern Syria to government troops in January.
Reuters journalists saw a convoy of more than 30 interior ministry vehicles begin moving towards the ethnically-mixed city of Hasakah from its outskirts in the early afternoon. Sources in the city said they entered shortly afterwards.
Members of the Kurdish Asayish security force observed as the convoy entered the city.
Government forces are expected to be stationed in Syrian state buildings in Hasakah’s so-called “security zone,” a Syrian official and a Kurdish security source told Reuters ahead of the deployment.
The accord declared on Friday foresees a phased integration of Kurdish fighters with government forces. The United States has hailed the agreement as a historic milestone towards unity and reconciliation after 14 years of civil war.
The SDF was once Washington’s main Syrian ally, playing a vital part in the fight against Islamic State terrorists.
But its status weakened as President Donald Trump built ties with Sharaa, a former al Qaeda commander who has now brought almost all of Syria back under the authority of Damascus.
The deal announced on Friday includes the formation of a military division that will include three SDF brigades, in addition to a brigade for forces in the SDF-held town of Kobani, also known as Ain al-Arab, which will be affiliated to the state-controlled governorate of Aleppo.
A convoy of 20 aid trucks entered Ain al-Arab, state–run Ekhbariya TV reported.
The deal also provides for governing bodies in SDF-held areas to be merged with state institutions.
The Syrian state news agency SANA reported that interior ministry forces had begun deploying in rural areas near Ain al-Arab on Monday.
Since rebels toppled President Bashar al-Assad 14 months ago, Sharaa’s efforts to bring the fractured nation under central rule have been complicated by deadly violence last year against Alawites and Druze, fuelling suspicion of his rule among minority communities despite his promises to protect them.
ANALYST SEES GAPS OVER INTEGRATION
SDF commander Mazloum Abdi, in comments to Kurdish broadcaster Ronahi published on Saturday, said there was an agreement on a limited number of government security forces entering the security zones of both Hasakah and Qamishli, another SDF-held city on the Turkish border.
Their mission would be only administrative, to follow up on the process of the integration of the Asayish, he said.
Abdi said government forces would not enter Kurdish villages and cities, adding that their administration would remain in the hands of their residents and local forces.
Nawar Rahawi, director of the government-affiliated Hasakah media center, told Reuters that some 125 to 150 members of the security forces had entered Hasakah on Monday, and another 15 to 20 vehicles would enter on Tuesday if the entry goes smoothly.
“If things go smoothly, as all Syrians hope, the process of integrating the Syrian Democratic Forces with the Syrian government forces will begin,” he said.
But Noah Bonsey, a senior adviser with the International Crisis Group think-tank, said statements from both sides since Friday indicated gaps over how the integration of the SDF and Kurdish–run governing bodies in the northeast will pan out.
“What the practical details of integration look like will determine what continuing role SDF elements play on the ground, how much autonomy they retain, and how significant and extensive government command and control is,” he said.
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Iran, US to Hold Nuclear Talks on Friday, Some Regional Countries to Participate
Iranian Foreign Minister Abbas Araqchi attends a press conference after meeting with his Turkish counterpart Hakan Fidan, in Istanbul, Turkey, Jan. 30, 2026. Photo: REUTERS/Dilara Senkaya
Iran and the United States will resume nuclear talks on Friday in Turkey, Iranian and US officials told Reuters on Monday, while a regional diplomat said representatives from countries such as Saudi Arabia and Egypt would participate.
US Special Envoy Steve Witkoff and Iranian Foreign Minister Abbas Araqchi will meet in Istanbul in an effort to revive diplomacy over a long-running dispute about Iran‘s nuclear program and dispel fears of a new regional war.
Turkey and other regional allies have sought de-escalation.
“Qatar, Saudi Arabia, UAE, and Egypt, as well as some other countries, will attend the Istanbul meeting. There will be bilateral, trilateral, and other meetings,” the diplomat said.
US NAVAL BUILDUP NEAR IRAN
Tensions are running high amid a US naval buildup near Iran, following a violent crackdown against anti-government demonstrations last month, the deadliest domestic unrest in Iran since its 1979 revolution.
US President Donald Trump, who stopped short of carrying out threats to intervene during the crackdown, has since demanded Tehran make nuclear concessions and sent a flotilla to its coast. He said last week Iran was “seriously talking,” while Tehran’s top security official Ali Larijani said arrangements for negotiations were under way.
Iranian sources told Reuters last week that Trump had demanded three conditions for resumption of talks: zero enrichment of uranium in Iran, limits on Tehran’s ballistic missile program, and ending its support for regional proxies.
Iran has long rejected all three demands as unacceptable infringements of its sovereignty, but two Iranian officials told Reuters its clerical rulers saw the ballistic missile program, rather than uranium enrichment, as the bigger obstacle.
PREPARATIONS FOR POTENTIAL US–IRAN TALKS
Iranian Foreign Ministry spokesperson Esmaeil Baghaei said Tehran was considering “the various dimensions and aspects of the talks,” adding that “time is of the essence for Iran as it wants the lifting of unjust sanctions sooner.”
A Turkish ruling party official told Reuters that Tehran and Washington had agreed to re-focus on diplomacy and possible talks this week, in a potential reprieve for potential US strikes.
Witkoff was expected to visit Israel to meet Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Israel’s military chief, two senior Israeli officials said separately on Monday.
‘BALL IN TRUMP’S COURT’
The Iranian official said “diplomacy is ongoing. For talks to resume, Iran says there should not be preconditions and that it is ready to show flexibility on uranium enrichment, including handing over 400 kg of highly enriched uranium, accepting zero enrichment under a consortium arrangement as a solution.”
However, he added, for the start of talks, Tehran wanted US military assets moved away from Iran.
“Now the ball is in Trump’s court,” he said.
SATELLITE IMAGERY SHOWS SOME REPAIR WORK AT IRANIAN SITES
Tehran’s regional sway has been weakened by Israel’s attacks on its proxies – from Hamas in Gaza to Hezbollah in Lebanon, the Houthis in Yemen and militias in Iraq – as well as by the ousting of Iran‘s close ally, former Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.
In June last year the United States struck Iranian nuclear targets, joining in at the close of a 12-day Israeli bombing campaign. Since then, Tehran has said its uranium enrichment work has stopped.
Recent satellite imagery of two of the targeted sites, Isfahan and Natanz, appears to show some repair work since December, with new roofing over two previously destroyed buildings. No other rebuilding was visible, according to the imagery provided by Planet Labs and reviewed by Reuters.
Washington-based think tank ISIS said satellite images from late January showed construction work on tunnel entrances at Isfahan that could “indicate a preparation for additional military strikes” as was seen ahead of last year’s US strikes.
It could also signal the movement of assets from other facilities, it added.
NUCLEAR TALKS STANDOFF
After five rounds of talks that have stalled since May 2023, several hard-to-bridge issues remained between Tehran and Washington, including Iran‘s insistence on maintaining uranium enrichment on its soil and refusal to ship abroad its entire existing stockpile of highly enriched uranium.
The UN nuclear watchdog has called on Iran repeatedly to say what happened to the highly enriched uranium stock since the June attacks.
Western countries fear Iran‘s uranium enrichment could yield material for a warhead. Iran says its nuclear program is only for electricity generation and other civilian uses.
The Iranian sources said Tehran could ship its highly enriched uranium abroad and pause enrichment in a deal that should also include the lifting of economic sanctions.
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Iran Fears US Strike May Reignite Protests, Imperil Rule, Sources Say
People walk on a street in Tehran, Iran, Jan. 31, 2026. Photo: Majid Asgaripour/WANA (West Asia News Agency) via REUTERS
Iran’s leadership is increasingly worried a US strike could break its grip on power by driving an already enraged public back onto the streets, following a bloody crackdown on anti-government protests, according to six current and former officials.
In high-level meetings, officials told Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei that public anger over last month’s crackdown — the bloodiest since the 1979 Islamic Revolution — has reached a point where fear is no longer a deterrent, four current officials briefed on the discussions said.
The officials said Khamenei was told that many Iranians were prepared to confront security forces again and that external pressure such as a limited US strike could embolden them and inflict irreparable damage to the political establishment.
One of the officials told Reuters that Iran‘s enemies were seeking more protests so as to bring the Islamic Republic to an end, and “unfortunately” there would be more violence if an uprising took place.
“An attack combined with demonstrations by angry people could lead to a collapse [of the ruling system]. That is the main concern among the top officials and that is what our enemies want,” said the official, who like the other officials contacted for this story declined to be named due to the sensitivity of the matter.
The reported remarks are significant because they suggest private misgivings inside the leadership at odds with Tehran’s defiant public stance toward the protesters and the US.
The sources declined to say how Khamenei responded. Iran‘s Foreign Ministry did not immediately respond to a Reuters request for comment on this account of the meetings.
Multiple sources told Reuters last week that US President Donald Trump is weighing options against Iran that include targeted strikes on security forces and leaders to inspire protesters, even as Israeli and Arab officials said air power alone would not topple the clerical rulers.
PEOPLE ARE EXTREMELY ANGRY, SAYS FORMER OFFICIAL
Any such uprising in the wake of a US strike would stand in contrast to Iranians’ response to Israeli and US bombing attacks on Iran‘s nuclear program back in June, which was not followed by anti-government demonstrations.
But a former senior moderate official said the situation had changed since the crackdown in early January.
“People are extremely angry,” he said, adding a US attack could lead Iranians to rise up again. “The wall of fear has collapsed. There is no fear left.”
Tensions between Tehran and Washington are running high. The arrival of a US aircraft carrier and supporting warships in the Middle East has expanded Trump’s ability to take military action if he so wishes, after repeatedly threatening intervention over Iran‘s bloody crackdown.
‘THE GAME IS OVER,’ SAYS FORMER PRIME MINISTER
Several opposition figures, who were part of the establishment before falling out with it, have warned the leadership that “boiling public anger” could result in a collapse of the Islamic system.
“The river of warm blood that was spilled on the cold month of January will not stop boiling until it changes the course of history,” former prime minister Mirhossein Mousavi, who has been under house arrest without trial since 2011, said in a statement published by the pro-reform Kalameh website.
“In what language should people say they do not want this system and do not believe your lies? Enough is enough. The game is over,’” Mousavi added in the statement.
During the early January protests, witnesses and rights groups said, security forces crushed demonstrations with lethal force, leaving thousands killed and many wounded. Tehran blamed the violence on “armed terrorists” linked to Israel and the US.
Trump stopped short of carrying out threats to intervene, but he has since demanded Iran make nuclear concessions. Both Tehran and Washington have signaled readiness to revive diplomacy over a long-running nuclear dispute.
SIMMERING ANGER, ‘DANGER OF BLOODSHED’
Analysts and insiders say that while the streets are quiet for now, deep-seated grievances have not gone away.
Public frustration has been simmering over economic decline, political repression, a widening gulf between rich and poor, and entrenched corruption that leaves many Iranians feeling trapped in a system offering neither relief nor a path forward.
“This may not be the end, but it is no longer just the beginning,” said Hossein Rassam, a London-based analyst.
If protests resume during mounting foreign pressure and security forces respond with force, the six current and former officials said they fear demonstrators would be bolder than in previous unrest, emboldened by experience and driven by a sense that they have little left to lose.
One of the officials told Reuters that while people were angrier than before, the establishment would use harsher methods against protesters if it was under US attack. He said the result would be a bloodbath.
Ordinary Iranians contacted by Reuters said they expected Iran‘s rulers to crack down hard on any further protests.
A Tehran resident whose 15-year-old son was killed in the protests on Jan. 9 said the demonstrators had merely sought a normal life, and had been answered “with bullets.”
“If America attacks, I will go back to the streets to take revenge for my son and the children this regime killed.”