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Jewish marriage rites are robust. Now a rabbi is innovating rituals for Jews who divorce.
(J. The Jewish News of Northern California via JTA) — For Lyssa Jaye, throwing the wood chips into the Tuolumne River felt in many ways familiar to the tashlich ritual performed on Rosh Hashanah. But rather than casting off her sins, she was tossing away feelings: shame, resentment, anger.
They were the emotions that had taken residence inside Jaye since her divorce eight years ago, along with a sense of failure. And she had come to a Jewish retreat to rid herself of them.
“I’ve been carrying around these feelings for years now,” Jaye said. “I have a completely different life now, and I needed to let them go.”
Jaye was taking part in Divorce & Discovery: A Jewish Healing Retreat, the first-ever gathering in a series conceived by Rabbi Deborah Newbrun as part of her training, held this month at Camp Tawonga in the Bay Area.
One of the requirements at the Pluralistic Rabbinical Seminary, where Newbrun was ordained last year in the first graduating class, “was that each of us had to do an innovation, or something that didn’t exist before,” she said.
Newbrun, who directed Camp Tawonga for more than two decades, has been recognized for innovative programming for such achievements as initiating Tawonga’s LGBT family camp and founding its wilderness department. She even won a prestigious 2018 Covenant Award for Jewish educators. But as she started thinking about how to fulfill the seminary requirement, her first thought was, “I don’t have any ideas left in me.”
Then she began reflecting back on her divorce years earlier. She remembered how she had approached numerous rabbis and colleagues in search of Jewish support around the grief she felt. And how they all came up empty-handed.
That’s when she realized: “I can put together something meaningful and helpful for people going through divorce.”
From the moment participants arrived at Camp Tawonga near Yosemite, they knew this would be no ordinary Jewish retreat. At the opening event, all of the facilitators, several clergy members and a therapist shared their own divorce stories, “to set the standard and normalize vulnerability, transparent sharing and establish that we all know what it’s like to have a marriage end,” Newbrun said.
Most participants were from the Bay Area, with a handful from farther afield. They were in different life stages, from those in their 30s dealing with custody battles over young children, to empty nesters in their 60s. Some had separated from their partners years ago, while others had gone their separate ways more recently. Some split amicably; a good many did not. But all had come up against a lack of Jewish resources or support when navigating this major life passage.
Rabbi Deborah Newbrun, the founder of Divorce and Discovery at the recent weekend. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Jaye said she left no stone unturned in seeking out support, an experience Newbrun said she heard echoed by many participants. Jaye attended a retreat at a local meditation center. She read self-help books. She joined a support group for divorcees. She went to therapy.
And while they all helped in different ways, none was specifically Jewish.
“I knew I needed some kind of spiritual way forward,” she said. “I needed to do this in my own language, with my own people.”
Even though the retreat came nearly a decade years after Jaye’s divorce, “it was profound. It felt like coming home, and that this is what I needed all along. This model could be extremely powerful. The rituals we did could be taught in rabbinical schools or to Jewish educators so it’s not just ‘sign this get and goodbye,’” she said, referring to the Jewish divorce document.
Rather than create new rituals, Newbrun and her facilitators took familiar Jewish rituals and retooled them.
The tashlich ritual, led by Newbrun and Maggid Jhos Singer, had a call-and-response portion, and participants also could call out what they personally wanted to cast off. “One person ‘tashliched’ their wedding ring into the river and felt it was such a perfect place to let it go!” said Newbrun.
An optional immersion in the Tuolumne River followed. Jaye, who years ago went to the mikvah alone, with only the attendant there for support, said there was no comparison with how much more healing it felt performing the ritual in community.
A session on sitting shiva for one’s marriage, led by Rabbi Sue Reinhold, allowed participants to share and mourn the loss of what they missed most about being married. That resonated for Robyn Lieberman, who does not attend synagogue services but went to every session at the retreat on innovating Jewish rituals.
“I did need to mourn what I’m losing,” said Lieberman, who had been married to an Israeli. “We had a very public, open house around Jewish religion, and a constant Israeli identity, which fulfilled my Jewish needs.”
Rabbi Jennie Chabon of Congregation B’nai Tikvah in Walnut Creek reflected on how much time she has spent with couples preparing for their wedding day, both in premarital counseling and in planning the event, and on how many marriage-related topics are covered in rabbinical school.
“And when it comes to divorce? Nothing,” Chabon said. “We’re all out here on our own trying to figure out how to wander through it.”
She was tasked with creating a havdalah ceremony with a divorce theme, in which she reimagined the wine, spices and flame typically used to mark a division between Shabbat and the rest of the week.
“There’s a fire that burns within each of us, and that flame doesn’t go out,” said Chabon, 47. “When you’re married for a long time, your identity, energy and spirit is so woven into that of another.” Her ritual was meant to affirm that “you are on fire just as you are, and you’re a blessing as an individual in the world. You don’t need a partnership or family to be whole.”
Even the Shabbat Torah service was on theme.
Rabbi Jennie Chabon reads from the Torah during a service at the Divorce and Discovery retreat. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Rather than focusing on Noah’s emergence from the ark after the flood, Chabon spoke about a lesser-known section of the week’s Torah portion, in which Noah builds a fire and offers a sacrifice to God. But if the entire earth was drenched from the flood, Chabon asked, what did he burn?
“The answer is he must have burned the ark,” Chabon said in recalling her talk at the retreat. “What does that mean for people going through this incredibly painful and tender time in their lives, when what was once a safe container and secure and protected them, they have to burn it down in order to start life anew?
“This is a perfect rebirth metaphor. But what’s being birthed is a new self and a new identity in the world as a single person,” Chabon said. “You have to release and let go of what was to make room for the blessing for who you’re going to become.”
At a ritual “hackathon” workshop presented by Newbrun, participants suggested standing during Kaddish at synagogue to mourn their marriages, and offering their children a Friday night blessing that they are whole whether they are at either parent’s home.
Not all of the sessions centered on Jewish ritual. In a session on the Japanese art of kintsugi, or mending broken pottery, attendees made vessels whose cracks they fixed with putty, symbolizing that beauty can be found in imperfection. Many danced in a Saturday-night silent disco.
Everyone was assigned to a small group, or havurah, that they met with daily, so they could establish deeper connections within the larger cohort.
“To have gone through some of these practices was very meaningful to me,” said Lieberman. “It’s not like I put a seal on my marriage and wrapped it up in a bow and put it behind me, but it was a nice catharsis for completing a transition that I’ve been very thoughtful about.”
Newbrun aims to recreate the retreat in communities around the country. Both Jaye and Lieberman said they found value in being in community with people “who get it,” without the judgment they often face.
“I was a little skeptical that all I’d have in common with people was that we were Jewish and divorced, and that that wouldn’t be enough for me to form a relationship,” said Lieberman. “But having the willingness to talk about it and explore it did open up a lot of very vulnerable conversations. The expert facilitation really made us think about the fact that divorce is not about your paper [certificate], it’s about reexamining the direction of your life and who you want to be.”
A version of this piece originally ran in J. The Jewish News of Northern California, and is reprinted with permission.
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West Bloomfield Iraqi Christians rushed to aid Temple Israel on a terrifying day. An open invitation for Shabbat followed.
Last week’s attempted attack on Temple Israel in West Bloomfield, Michigan, prompted the Shenandoah Country Club across the street — which serves the town’s Iraqi Christian Chaldean community — to provide a refuge across cultural lines.
Staff turned a ballroom usually reserved for weddings into a reunification area. By the afternoon, 140 children from the Temple Israel day care center, who had no idea they were escaping a terror attack, were safe inside.
The next night, the same room filled again with refugees from Temple Israel. This time, the event space hosted 1,000 congregants gathered for Shabbat.
Shenandoah Country Club President Patrick Kattoo said when a staff member told him about a possible shooting across the street, “I instructed him to direct all those people into our building, into our ballroom, and immediately give them what they need.”
Kattoo proceeded to allow law enforcement to set up command centers at Shenandoah, as children and teachers sheltered in the ballroom for hours. Around 5 p.m., relieved families were reunited at the country club.
In true Iraqi fashion, Kattoo said the children were kept well fed. “It was Thursday, so our chef was here. We just brought them out chicken tenders and fries, M&Ms, waters, and drinks. There were infants here that were in diapers, and fortunately, we have diapers that we keep on hand.”
Once he arrived, Kattoo said Temple Israel community members were in “panic mode.” “There were just a lot of frightened children. And I’ll tell you one thing: Shenandoah will not stand to see frightened children.”
Around 40 more children and their teachers did not make it to the country club, and instead found safety in the home of a Chaldean neighbor.
Township Supervisor Jonathan Warshay recounted that Rabbi Paul Yedwab wondered, “you know, would he be holding funerals for these children? And then they learned where they were.”
Jewish community members expressed their deep gratitude for the Chaldean community.
Temple Israel rabbi Jason Bennett told the Forward, “They immediately sprang into action, everything from just giving us their space to baking cookies for the kids and creating an atmosphere where, at least for the children, it was safe and secure, and families could come and reconnect with their kids. It was a beautiful part of this tragic day to see children just shielded from everything.”
Some Temple Israel adults said that because of the bucolic environment at the country club, many of the children thought they had gone on a field trip.
Rabbi Bennett recounted hearing about one child recapping the day at bathtime: “The child said, ‘Well, I was so excited. I got to read a story, and then I did some art, and then I got to meet a police officer.’ That was her recounting, which is remarkable.”
‘It was really natural’
Chaldeans are Iraqi Christians who traditionally speak Aramaic, and Michigan has the largest population of Chaldeans outside of the Middle East.
The Chaldean community makes up 24% of West Bloomfield’s 65,000-person population. The Jewish and Chaldean communities have long shared a special relationship there, with joint youth programs, shared meals between community leaders, and parking lots often shared between Temple Israel and Shenandoah Country Club during large community events.
“Throughout my career, these last 32 years, they have been inextricably linked to the Jewish community,” said Bennett. He noted that in other difficult moments, the two communities have supported one another.
“We were together after 911 and supported each other. When Oct. 7 came, they came into our sanctuary, and their entire board was with us for our vigil service,” he recounted. “They brought a significant donation at that time to the Jewish community to help our emergency campaign for Israel. And so it was really natural when something like this happens, for them to be our partners.”
According to Chaldean community member Jibran Jim Manna, who was born in Baghdad, the love the Chaldean community has for Jews goes all the way back to Iraq. “Prior to us immigrating to the U.S., our neighbors were Jewish, and we loved them; they were good to us.”
He said the shared experience of being minorities forced to flee Iraq has shaped that bond. “They all had to get out of Iraq,” he said, “and we had to leave there too.” He added, “Some of us, like myself, think of ourselves as one of the lost tribes of Israel, because we are so close in culture.”
A Chaldean’s first Shabbat service
The day after the attempted attack, roughly 1,000 members of the Temple Israel community gathered in the Shenandoah Country Club ballroom for Shabbat services.
Kattoo said Temple Israel rabbis had told him on Thursday in the attack’s immediate aftermath that they had nowhere to hold services. The sanctuary had been badly damaged in the attack, in which the assailant’s vehicle had caught fire. “I said, ‘Well, our doors are open, you could do it here tomorrow,’” Kattoo recalled.
Bennett said that while Temple Israel had received multiple offers to host services, holding them at Shenandoah “felt like the natural fit, given the long-standing partnership and the role that they had played in that day.”
He added: “They set up for us, they welcomed people in, they partnered with police and law enforcement agencies, and we just had this magnificent gathering of 1,000 people to celebrate what had gone right.”
The rabbis were able to bring the “miraculously” recovered Torahs to the country club. But the temple’s prayer books had been destroyed, so the service was held without them.
The theme of the evening was honoring acts of heroism. According to Warshay, congregants “gave a standing ovation to the leaders of Shenandoah and to the security personnel.”
For Warshay, a highlight was seeing families together in the immediate aftermath of a traumatic event. “There were many families at the service, a lot of young children. We sort of heard them talking and playing around,” he said, adding, “It was quite emotional.”
Kattoo said as congregants entered the ballroom for services, he “greeted every single one of them,” then stayed as the community joined in prayer.
“I don’t speak Hebrew,” he said, laughing. “But you know, I thought it was a beautiful service. I learned something. It’s beautiful to see that they have their community gather every single week on a Friday. To me, it’s unbelievable. It’s my first Shabbat service I’ve ever seen in my life.” He added, “I kind of wish we did that once a week.”
According to Kattoo, the outpouring of thanks from the Jewish community has been overwhelming. “Their gratitude was beyond what I could expect.”
While Temple Israel is in the process of moving services to the Berman Theater at the local JCC, Kattoo said his offer to host Shabbat services still stands: “If the banquet hall is available, I’ve told them it’s more than theirs.”
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Jan. 6 protester Jake Lang renounced his Judaism to court the far right. It isn’t working.
(JTA) — Jake Lang has burned a copy of the Talmud, performed a Nazi salute outside AIPAC’s headquarters and repeatedly declared that “Christ is King.”
But those antisemitic displays have not earned him an in with his fellow far-right personalities. Instead, after Lang’s anti-Muslim rally in New York City earlier this month was derailed by bomb-throwing counterprotesters, they ramped up a campaign against him.
“This f—cking r—tard larping as a white Christian is jewish,” wrote social media personality Dan Bilzerian, who has increasingly embraced antisemitic rhetoric and conspiracy theories, in a post on X to his 2 million followers. “This is what jews do, they pretend to be white to spread white, black and Muslim hate only to later separate themselves later by saying oh but I’m not white I’m jewish.”
Nick Fuentes, the antisemitic livestreamer at the center of a growing divide at the Republican party, quickly piled on.
“This guy is a Jewish operative and his entire campaign is a psyop to instigate conflict between Whites and Muslims to gin up support for escalation against Iran,” Fuentes tweeted. “Couldn’t be more transparent yet all of you people are falling for it.”
In far-right corners where antisemitism is a currency, it was an explosive allegation. But it was also rooted in truth about Lang’s Jewish heritage.
In November, after Lang staged another anti-Muslim protest in Dearborn, Michigan, photos circulated online of him holding a bar mitzvah certificate with his name on it at the Western Wall in Jerusalem. He quickly denounced Judaism but soon disclosed to Nick Shirley, the far-right YouTuber, that his mother is “Russian Jewish.”
The disclosure gained new attention within the far-right ecosystem after Lang’s demonstration outside Gracie Mansion, the home of New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani. And Lang, a pardoned Jan. 6 protester who is currently vying for a Senate seat in Florida, offered more details about his background.
During an appearance on a podcast hosted by right-wing Jewish activist Laura Loomer, he again said his mother is Jewish. But he was baptized as a child, he said, while contending that his mother isn’t among the kind of Jews whom far-right antisemites, including himself, view as pernicious.
“We have these false Jews that Jesus warned us about, that are in control of the banking in different places, but they’re not the average Jew,” Lang said. “We have amazing, patriotic, white Jews, which my mother is one of them, who exemplify everything it needs to be an American.”
Lang’s mother, Sari, participated in a press conference in January 2025 calling on President Donald Trump to issue blanket pardons to Jan. 6, 2021, Capitol protesters, including Lang. Lang spent four years in federal custody in Washington, D.C., after being charged for allegedly beating a police officer with a bat during the protest.
Matthew D. Taylor, a visiting scholar at the Georgetown University Center on Faith and Justice who studies extremism, said the backlash against Lang reflects a form of racialized antisemitism found in Nazi ideology, in which Lang’s Jewish ancestry remains disqualifying despite his adoption of far-right causes, including antisemitism.
“Here you have this guy, Jake Lang, who seems like a real scumbag in and of himself, but is affirming Nazi ideas,” said Taylor. “But that his Jewishness is still a knock against him amongst these other white supremacists and Nazis, and even his espousal of Christian theology doesn’t cleanse him of that issue in their mind.”
On the Loomer podcast, Lang shared his views of Jewish identity and influence, attempting to draw a distinction between Jews he considered allies versus enemies while invoking antisemitic conspiracy theories.
“I have to give an unequivocal, real deal talk to the American people here, we have been psyop-ed into blaming everything on the Jews, that’s ridiculous,” said Lang. “But on that same hand, I will be the first one to call out this liberal, woke Jewish mafia that controls Hollywood and is brainwashing the white women to all fall in love with black men, and they’re poisoning and they’re not real Jews.”
The episode also ties into a widening rift on the far right, one that has sharpened in recent weeks over the war in Iran. While Fuentes has vehemently opposed the U.S. strikes in the country, Lang has praised the conflict as a “war with Islam” and a display of “Christian dominance in the Middle East.”
“Now the Zionists have started amplifying anti-immigration, anti-Muslim rhetoric to distract Right Wingers from the Iran War,” Fuentes wrote in a post on X earlier this month. “Probably the best way to prevent Muslim immigrants from coming here or attacking us is to stop killing them and destroying their countries for Israel.”
During the conversation with Loomer, she and Lang decried what they perceived as support for Muslims from far-right influencers like Fuentes.
“While patriotic Jews and Christians unite to save our country from the threat of Islam, compromised influencers are actively radicalizing vulnerable youth on behalf of their foreign handlers in Qatar, Russia and Iran,” Loomer wrote in a post on X alongside a clip of the interview.
In a post on X, Fuentes, once a staunch Trump supporter who urged his supporters to attend the Jan. 6 protests, accused Trump of sidelining anti-war voices and embracing pro-Israel allies, including Loomer.
“Trump turned against Tucker Carlson and Marjorie Greene for their opposition to the Iran War and Epstein Coverup,” wrote Fuentes. “Now, he surrounds himself exclusively with Israel First Zionists like Mark Levin, Laura Loomer, and Jared Kushner. We didn’t leave MAGA, MAGA left us.”
While Lang, who was identified as a “Christian Crusader” onscreen during the podcast, acknowledged his Jewish heritage during the conversation with Loomer, he has simultaneously worked to distance himself from it.
In response to Bilzerian’s post, Lang posted a photo of him as a baby during his Catholic baptism, writing “JESUS IS LORD & GOD.”
In November, after the Western Wall pictures first circulated, Lang wrote, “You’re a f—cking idiot I denounced all ties to Israel and Judaism days ago…Jesus is King,” alongside a video of him burning the Quran, the central religious text in Islam, the Talmud and a book on Christian Zionism titled “Standing With Israel” by David Brog.
“Jesus is King, no Talmud, no Quran, America’s a Christian country,” Lang says in the video. “Lord Jesus, we pray your spirit over America. We pray that you would bring back white Christian America. We are being replaced, there is a white replacement and genocide happening and it is because of these two books, the beliefs of these people.”
In a December interview with YouTuber Nick Shirley, whose video on alleged fraud by Somali-run day cares in Minneapolis preceded a federal immigration crackdown, Lang explained that his visit to the Western Wall had been on a family vacation.
“That was over 10 years ago. Nowadays, it’s seen as a symbol of fidelity towards Israel and towards, you know, this kind of shadow government that’s seemingly overseeing America,” said Lang. “So nowadays, if I were to go as a Christian influencer, right, as a conservative, I would never show that type of fidelity because the optics behind it have basically been completely perverted.”
Riffing on a phrase that has come to express disdain for politicians who take photographs at the Western Wall, Fuentes denounced Lang last week as having been “kissing the wall, making out with the wall, with the f—cking cube on his head and everything.”
Calling Lang a “big, disgusting, revolting Jewish douchebag,” Fuentes connected Lang to the allegations, amplified this week by the U.S. counterterrorism director in a resignation letter, that Jews had lured the United States into conflict.
“They tricked us into going and fighting their wars by convincing us that their enemies were our enemies too, and now we’re doing it all over again,” said Fuentes. “And then you’ve got Jake Lang in New York, inciting Muslims to attack him again … antagonizing them to achieve that desired result.”
The attacks on Lang from Fuentes and Bilzerian are revealing, according to Taylor, the extremism scholar.
“Here you have a guy who wants to be a card-carrying white supremacist, who wants to be a card-carrying Christian nationalist, and who wants to kind of prove his bona fides by hating on Muslims, and the white supremacists are rejecting him because he has an underlying Jewish ethnic identity,” he said. “There’s no other word for that than just racism, right? And antisemitism.”
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U of Florida College Republicans, caught making Nazi salutes, sue school for disbanding chapter
(JTA) — Another group for young Republicans is in hot water over revelations that its members have engaged in antisemitic activity.
The University of Florida disbanded its College Republicans chapter over the weekend following social media posts in which two members reportedly made Nazi salutes, among other actions. In response, the group sued the university, accusing administrators of violating its First Amendment rights.
“The University of Florida punitively deactivated and shut down the UFCR, in response to alleged viewpoints expressed by a member of UFCR, and in an effort to silence the club and chill its future speech,” the lawsuit reads.
The chapter is being supported in its efforts by a national umbrella College Republicans organization, whose president said he supported the students’ “right to free speech.”
UF has 6,500 Jewish undergraduates, the most of any university in the country, according to Hillel International. The revelations concerning its College Republicans group come weeks after a similar controversy involving Florida International University’s chapter, and followed leaked antisemitic group chats among leaders of several statewide Young Republicans chapters, including New York, last year.
In a statement explaining its move to disband the group, UF said members of the College Republicans “engaged in a pattern of conduct that violated its rules and values, including a recent antisemitic gesture.” Photos posted online by pro-Israel activists appeared to show members of the chapter flashing Nazi salutes, as well as posing with antisemitic influencers Nick Fuentes and Myron Gaines. Other reports of the leaked material describe group chats stating that Hitler “didn’t do enough.”
The UF statement continued, “The University of Florida has emphatically supported its Jewish community and remains committed to preventing and addressing antisemitism and other forms of discrimination and harassment that are threatening and disruptive to our students and to the teaching, research and expressive activities of the campus community.”
UF College Republicans had recently hosted James Fishback, a GOP gubernatorial candidate in the state who has embraced popular online antisemitic slang on the campaign trail. In its lawsuit and on X, the College Republicans group suggested the two events were linked.
“48 hours after we hosted James Fishback (@j_fishback) at the largest Candidate event at UF in nearly 10 years, @UF terminated our organization,” they wrote on X. The lawsuit claims, “UF likely further deactivated Plaintiff because UFCR hosted republican gubernatorial candidate James Fishback, a critic of Israel, at a March 11, 2026, event attended by 500 students.”
Fishback himself criticized the university for disbanding the group, likening it to the school’s decision to disband a pro-Palestinian group in the aftermath of the Oct. 7, 2023 Hamas attacks.
“It is disgraceful for Florida’s taxpayer-funded universities to punish student groups for their protected speech,” he wrote. “In 2023, it was Students for Justice in Palestine. Today, it’s College Republicans.”
Also supporting the chapter was College Republicans of America, an umbrella organization, although its website does not include UF as a listed chapter.
“We support our students’ right to free speech, even if their endorsements don’t match our own at the national level,” CRA’s president, William Branson Donahue, wrote on X. “I’m aware they’ve retained counsel and we will support them in reinstating the chapter.” The group’s recently appointed political director, Kai Schwemmer, is a streaming partner of Fuentes.
The university had claimed it was following the lead of a different College Republicans umbrella group in disbanding its chapter, the Florida Federation of College Republicans — a more moderate organization that condemned antisemitism after the FIU scandal. UF College Republicans says it has no relation to the Florida Federation of College Republicans.
A Jewish Telegraphic Agency request for further comment to College Republicans of America was not immediately returned. The student who joked about Hitler in the group chat told the New York Times he had not intended to be antisemitic and also claimed he was not affiliated with the UF College Republicans.
Anthony Sabatini, the attorney representing UF College Republicans, is also representing FIU students who were exposed in that school’s recent College Republicans antisemitic group chat controversy. On X, Sabatini shared a notice from FIU’s general counsel that one of the students, who had been placed under investigation by the university, had been “re-instated.” The president of that school’s Turning Point USA chapter recently stepped down over his involvement in the chats.
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