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Jewish marriage rites are robust. Now a rabbi is innovating rituals for Jews who divorce.
(J. The Jewish News of Northern California via JTA) — For Lyssa Jaye, throwing the wood chips into the Tuolumne River felt in many ways familiar to the tashlich ritual performed on Rosh Hashanah. But rather than casting off her sins, she was tossing away feelings: shame, resentment, anger.
They were the emotions that had taken residence inside Jaye since her divorce eight years ago, along with a sense of failure. And she had come to a Jewish retreat to rid herself of them.
“I’ve been carrying around these feelings for years now,” Jaye said. “I have a completely different life now, and I needed to let them go.”
Jaye was taking part in Divorce & Discovery: A Jewish Healing Retreat, the first-ever gathering in a series conceived by Rabbi Deborah Newbrun as part of her training, held this month at Camp Tawonga in the Bay Area.
One of the requirements at the Pluralistic Rabbinical Seminary, where Newbrun was ordained last year in the first graduating class, “was that each of us had to do an innovation, or something that didn’t exist before,” she said.
Newbrun, who directed Camp Tawonga for more than two decades, has been recognized for innovative programming for such achievements as initiating Tawonga’s LGBT family camp and founding its wilderness department. She even won a prestigious 2018 Covenant Award for Jewish educators. But as she started thinking about how to fulfill the seminary requirement, her first thought was, “I don’t have any ideas left in me.”
Then she began reflecting back on her divorce years earlier. She remembered how she had approached numerous rabbis and colleagues in search of Jewish support around the grief she felt. And how they all came up empty-handed.
That’s when she realized: “I can put together something meaningful and helpful for people going through divorce.”
From the moment participants arrived at Camp Tawonga near Yosemite, they knew this would be no ordinary Jewish retreat. At the opening event, all of the facilitators, several clergy members and a therapist shared their own divorce stories, “to set the standard and normalize vulnerability, transparent sharing and establish that we all know what it’s like to have a marriage end,” Newbrun said.
Most participants were from the Bay Area, with a handful from farther afield. They were in different life stages, from those in their 30s dealing with custody battles over young children, to empty nesters in their 60s. Some had separated from their partners years ago, while others had gone their separate ways more recently. Some split amicably; a good many did not. But all had come up against a lack of Jewish resources or support when navigating this major life passage.
Rabbi Deborah Newbrun, the founder of Divorce and Discovery at the recent weekend. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Jaye said she left no stone unturned in seeking out support, an experience Newbrun said she heard echoed by many participants. Jaye attended a retreat at a local meditation center. She read self-help books. She joined a support group for divorcees. She went to therapy.
And while they all helped in different ways, none was specifically Jewish.
“I knew I needed some kind of spiritual way forward,” she said. “I needed to do this in my own language, with my own people.”
Even though the retreat came nearly a decade years after Jaye’s divorce, “it was profound. It felt like coming home, and that this is what I needed all along. This model could be extremely powerful. The rituals we did could be taught in rabbinical schools or to Jewish educators so it’s not just ‘sign this get and goodbye,’” she said, referring to the Jewish divorce document.
Rather than create new rituals, Newbrun and her facilitators took familiar Jewish rituals and retooled them.
The tashlich ritual, led by Newbrun and Maggid Jhos Singer, had a call-and-response portion, and participants also could call out what they personally wanted to cast off. “One person ‘tashliched’ their wedding ring into the river and felt it was such a perfect place to let it go!” said Newbrun.
An optional immersion in the Tuolumne River followed. Jaye, who years ago went to the mikvah alone, with only the attendant there for support, said there was no comparison with how much more healing it felt performing the ritual in community.
A session on sitting shiva for one’s marriage, led by Rabbi Sue Reinhold, allowed participants to share and mourn the loss of what they missed most about being married. That resonated for Robyn Lieberman, who does not attend synagogue services but went to every session at the retreat on innovating Jewish rituals.
“I did need to mourn what I’m losing,” said Lieberman, who had been married to an Israeli. “We had a very public, open house around Jewish religion, and a constant Israeli identity, which fulfilled my Jewish needs.”
Rabbi Jennie Chabon of Congregation B’nai Tikvah in Walnut Creek reflected on how much time she has spent with couples preparing for their wedding day, both in premarital counseling and in planning the event, and on how many marriage-related topics are covered in rabbinical school.
“And when it comes to divorce? Nothing,” Chabon said. “We’re all out here on our own trying to figure out how to wander through it.”
She was tasked with creating a havdalah ceremony with a divorce theme, in which she reimagined the wine, spices and flame typically used to mark a division between Shabbat and the rest of the week.
“There’s a fire that burns within each of us, and that flame doesn’t go out,” said Chabon, 47. “When you’re married for a long time, your identity, energy and spirit is so woven into that of another.” Her ritual was meant to affirm that “you are on fire just as you are, and you’re a blessing as an individual in the world. You don’t need a partnership or family to be whole.”
Even the Shabbat Torah service was on theme.
Rabbi Jennie Chabon reads from the Torah during a service at the Divorce and Discovery retreat. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Rather than focusing on Noah’s emergence from the ark after the flood, Chabon spoke about a lesser-known section of the week’s Torah portion, in which Noah builds a fire and offers a sacrifice to God. But if the entire earth was drenched from the flood, Chabon asked, what did he burn?
“The answer is he must have burned the ark,” Chabon said in recalling her talk at the retreat. “What does that mean for people going through this incredibly painful and tender time in their lives, when what was once a safe container and secure and protected them, they have to burn it down in order to start life anew?
“This is a perfect rebirth metaphor. But what’s being birthed is a new self and a new identity in the world as a single person,” Chabon said. “You have to release and let go of what was to make room for the blessing for who you’re going to become.”
At a ritual “hackathon” workshop presented by Newbrun, participants suggested standing during Kaddish at synagogue to mourn their marriages, and offering their children a Friday night blessing that they are whole whether they are at either parent’s home.
Not all of the sessions centered on Jewish ritual. In a session on the Japanese art of kintsugi, or mending broken pottery, attendees made vessels whose cracks they fixed with putty, symbolizing that beauty can be found in imperfection. Many danced in a Saturday-night silent disco.
Everyone was assigned to a small group, or havurah, that they met with daily, so they could establish deeper connections within the larger cohort.
“To have gone through some of these practices was very meaningful to me,” said Lieberman. “It’s not like I put a seal on my marriage and wrapped it up in a bow and put it behind me, but it was a nice catharsis for completing a transition that I’ve been very thoughtful about.”
Newbrun aims to recreate the retreat in communities around the country. Both Jaye and Lieberman said they found value in being in community with people “who get it,” without the judgment they often face.
“I was a little skeptical that all I’d have in common with people was that we were Jewish and divorced, and that that wouldn’t be enough for me to form a relationship,” said Lieberman. “But having the willingness to talk about it and explore it did open up a lot of very vulnerable conversations. The expert facilitation really made us think about the fact that divorce is not about your paper [certificate], it’s about reexamining the direction of your life and who you want to be.”
A version of this piece originally ran in J. The Jewish News of Northern California, and is reprinted with permission.
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Jewish Sites in New York City Struck With Antisemitic Graffiti as Police Report Jews Targeted in 60% of Hate Crimes
Members of the Rego Park Jewish Center flanking swastika graffiti that was sprayed on the building on Sunday, May 3, 2026. Photo: Screenshot
Jewish residents of the Queens borough of New York City were outraged on Monday following an overnight spree of vandalism which left at least four Jewish properties — private homes and synagogues — marked with the swastika and other antisemitic graffiti.
The incidents were discovered as the New York City Police Department (NYPD) released its latest figures showing that Jews continued to be the target of the majority of all hate crimes across the five boroughs last month, despite comprising a small fraction of the total population.
The perpetrators of the latest wave of vandalism struck the Rego Park Jewish Center, the Congregation Machane Chodosh, as well as two private homes late Sunday night, according to local lawmakers and Jewish leaders. Police are still searching for the suspects. At least one lead has surfaced so far in the form of surveillance footage taken by the Rego Park Jewish Center near the site of one of the crimes.
The suspects allegedly responsible for drawing swastikas outside of the Rego Park Jewish Center. pic.twitter.com/VJBGzI4EgZ
— Dean_Moses (@Dean_Moses) May 4, 2026
Meanwhile, the graffiti remains a scourge on the buildings — appearing in one case next to a memorial to German Jews who survived Kristallnacht, a November 1938 pogrom when Nazi paramilitary forces launched a coordinated nationwide attack on the German Jewish community. The vandals left no doubt regarding their allusion to that period, graffitiing “Heil Hitler” at the Rego Park location.
“When rabbis and congregants arrive to pray this morning, they expected to be met with their usual loving community. When a family woke up, they were prepared to begin an otherwise normal week. Instead, they were me with terrifying signals of hatred and threats of violence,” New York City Council Speaker Julie Menin said in a social media post which addressed the incidents. “With antisemitism on the rise here and across the globe, we will always stand up for our Jewish community and fight back against hate.”
Multiple synagogues and private homes in Queens were vandalized overnight with swastikas and other antisemitic graffiti. @Lynn4NYC, @PhilWongNYC and I are at one of the sites, Congregation Machane Chodosh, in Forest Hills now.
When rabbis and congregants arrived to pray this… pic.twitter.com/s38TXvFHQt
— Speaker Julie Menin (@SpeakerMenin) May 4, 2026
Mark Treyger, CEO of the Jewish Community Relations Council of New York, noted on social media that one of the targeted sites houses a pre-K program for young children.
“This is not normal, and we need city leaders to act NOW,” he posted.
The vandalism was discovered as the New York City Police Department (NYPD) reported on Monday the surge in antisemitic hate crimes across the city had continued unabated.
According to the newly released data, Jews were targeted in 60 percent of all confirmed hate crimes last month, despite making up just 10 percent of the city’s population.
In April, the police confirmed 30 antisemitic incidents out of 50 total hate crimes in the city. As for all reported/suspected hate crimes, 38 out of the total of 65 targeted Jews.
The NYPD had previously reported suspected, but unconfirmed, hate crime incidents. In February, the police began reporting confirmed incidents instead. And then after receiving scrutiny, the department began reporting both suspected and confirmed hate crimes in March.
Regardless of the methodology, the majority of all hate crimes in New York City this year have targeted Jews, especially the Orthodox community, continuing a surge in antisemitism that has swept the city after the start of the Israel-Hamas war in Gaza in October 2023.
In just eight days between the end of October and the beginning of November 2024, for example, three Hasidim, including children, were brutally assaulted in the Crown Heights section of Brooklyn. In one instance, an Orthodox man was accosted by two assailants, one masked, who “chased and beat him” after he refused to surrender his cellphone in compliance with what appeared to have been an attempted robbery. In another incident, an African American male smacked a 13-year-old Jewish boy who was commuting to school on his bike in the heavily Jewish neighborhood. Less than a week earlier, an assailant slashed a visibly Jewish man in the face as he was walking in Brooklyn.
In November, just days after the election of Zohran Mamdani as mayor of New York City, hundreds of people amassed outside a prominent synagogue and clamored for violence against Jews.
“We don’t want no Zionists here!” the group chanted in intervals while waving the Palestinian flag outside the Park East Synagogue in the Upper East Side section of the borough of Manhattan. “Resistance, you make us proud, take another settler out.”
Mamdani has dismantled key parts of the civil rights architecture his predecessor built to combat antisemitism in the city. Former Mayor Eric Adams adopted the International Holocaust Remembrance Alliance (IHRA) definition of antisemitism, enforced a ban on awarding government money to adherents of the movement to boycott Israel, and established as a governing principle the idea that Zionism is central to Jewish peoplehood even as it remains a target of antisemitic activism.
“The connection between Jewish identity and the Land of Israel is not political preference but religious and cultural foundation extending back millennia,” Adams said in one of his final communications as mayor. “The practical consequence of anti-Zionist rhetoric is the dehumanization of Zionists (the vast majority of Jewish people) and the dehumanization of all Jewish people. When Zionism itself is characterized as racist or illegitimate, Jewish people become targets for hostility and violence. This dynamic helps explain why attacks on Israel’s legitimacy correlate with increased antisemitic incidents in the diaspora, targeting all Jewish people regardless of their politics.”
The change in New York City’s climate since Mamdani’s election is palpable, Jewish advocacy groups have said. One his first day in office in January, he voided the city government’s adoption of the IHRA definition, lifted the ban on contracts with companies boycotting Israel, and modified key provisions of an executive order directing law enforcement to monitor anti-Israel protests held near synagogues.
“Mayor Mamdani pledged to build an inclusive New York and combat all forms of hate, including antisemitism,” a coalition of leading Jewish groups said in a statement addressing the new administration. “But when the new administration hit reset on many of Mayor Adams’ executive orders, it reversed … significant protections against antisemitism.”
Follow Dion J. Pierre @DionJPierre.
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Venice Biennale Jury Resigns Amid Israel, Russia Controversy; Organizers Announce New Awards, Ceremony
A poster for the 61st Venice Biennale running from May 9 to November 22. Photo: IMAGO/Frank Ossenbrink via Reuters Connect
The jury for the 2026 Venice Biennale announced their resignation mere days before the 61st edition of the show is set to open to the public on May 9.
The move comes after the five members of the jury, which selects the winners for the exhibition’s top prizes, said on April 22 that they would not consider giving awards to artists from countries accused by the International Criminal Court (ICC) of crimes against humanity, which include Israel and Russia. Both countries are participating in this year’s Venice Biennale, a fact that has caused controversy in light of the Israel-Hamas war and the Russia-Ukraine war.
The ICC issued an arrest warrant in 2023 for Russian President Vladimir Putin, who has been accused of war crimes in Ukraine, and an arrest warrant in 2024 for Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu due to his country’s military actions in the Gaza Strip during its war against Hamas terrorists. Israel, which launched its military campaign in response to Hamas’s invasion and massacre of Israelis on Oct. 7, 2023, has strongly denied the ICC’s allegations, with officials saying the Israeli military has gone to unprecedented lengths to try and avoid civilian casualties.
“As of April 30, 2026, we, the international jury selected by Koyo Kouoh, artistic director of the 61st edition of La Biennale di Venezia ‘In Minor Keys,’ have resigned,” the jurors said in a released statement. “We do so in acknowledgment of our Statement of Intention issued on 22 April 2026.” No further information was provided regarding the resignation.
The Venice Biennale did not respond to The Algemeiner‘s request for comment about the decision but acknowledged the jury’s resignation in a released statement on April 30. Organizers announced in a separate statement that the event’s awards ceremony will be moved from May 9 to Nov. 22, which is the last day of the show. The decision to reschedule the awards ceremony was made in light of the jury’s resignation “as well as the exceptional nature of the current international geopolitical situation,” the Venice Biennale said.
The jury for the Venice Biennale typically selects the winners for the highly coveted Golden and Silver Lion prizes. With no jury this year, the Venice Biennale said it will instead establish two “Visitors’ Lions” awards. Visitors will be able to vote for “the Best Participant in the 61st Exhibition ‘In Minor Keys’ by Koyo Kouoh” and “the Best National Participation in the 61st Exhibition.”
Each Venice Biennale ticket holder who visited both of the exhibition’s venues during this year’s show will be eligible to cast one vote for each of the two new awards. All participants n the 2026 Venice Biennale, including those from Israel, will be eligible for the Visitors’ Lion award for Best National Participation “following the principle of inclusion and equal treatment among all participants.”
“This is consistent with the founding spirit of La Biennale, based on openness, dialogue, and the rejection of any form of closure or censorship,” organizers said. “La Biennale seeks to be — and must remain — a place of truce in the name of art, culture, and artistic freedom.”
An open letter calling for Israel to be banned from the 61st Venice Biennale exhibition was published in March and signed by 178 Biennale participants. Romanian artist Belu-Simion Fainaru is representing Israel in this year’s show and recently criticized the jury’s April 22 decision not to consider awarding artists from the country.
Because of backlash over Russia’s participation, the Venice Biennale announced on April 28 that the Russian Pavilion in this year’s show will be only open to the public during the four-day preview. The European Union has already decided to withdraw $2.3 million in funding from the Venice Biennale because of Russia’s inclusion this year.
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All Major Jewish Organizations in Norway Criticize Holocaust Center for Repeatedly ‘Relativizing the Holocaust’
A drone view of the “Arbeit macht frei” gate at the former Auschwitz concentration camp ahead of the 80th anniversary of its liberation, Oswiecim, Poland, Jan. 10, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Kacper Pempel
Representatives from the largest Jewish organizations in Norway collectively published an open letter on Monday that accused the Norwegian Center for Studies of Holocaust and Religious Minorities (HL-Center) of repeatedly “relativizing the Holocaust.”
The open letter, which addressed the board and director of the HL-Center, accused the institution of using the Holocaust “in direct or indirect connection with the wars in the Middle East and other historical events.” The signatories noted that for “several years” there have been “repeated incidents” of the institution promoting “Holocaust revitalization.”
“When the Holocaust is systematically placed in parallel with other conflicts, there is a risk of relativizing its unique historical status. Over time, we have come to view this not as isolated judgments, but as a pattern,” wrote those representing the majority of Jewish life in Norway. They called on the HL-Center to “exercise far greater scholarly and institutional caution in how the Holocaust is discussed and contextualized.”
On April 30, the HL-Center hosted an event that drew parallels between the Holocaust and the Palestinian “Nakba” and how “they have functioned as competing cultural traumas.” “Nakba,” the Arabic term for “catastrophe,” is used by Palestinians and anti-Israel activists to refer to the establishment of the modern state of Israel in 1948.
Israel’s Embassy in Norway said the center’s decision to host the event was a “grotesque distortion of Holocaust memory.”
The open letter on Monday mentioned the April 30 event and also expressed concerns by Norway’s Jewish community about an upcoming event on June 3, titled “Holocaust Memorial after Gaza,” which will discuss Holocaust remembrance in relation to contemporary politics, specifically the Israel-Hamas war in Gaza.
“We wish to emphasize that it is both legitimate and necessary to acknowledge the suffering of civilians in armed conflicts, including the experiences of Palestinians after 1948,” Jewish community leaders wrote in the open letter, before noting “this is a subject that can be addressed without bringing the Holocaust into it.”
“A more natural parallel would be the consequences for the more than 1 million Jews who suffered in, and were forced to flee from, Arab countries after the establishment of Israel,” they added. “It is essential to maintain that the Holocaust represents a historical event without parallel: an industrial, ideologically driven genocide whose aim was the total extermination of the Jewish people.”
The letter was signed by B’nai B’rith Norway Lodge, The National Council for Jewish Communities in Norway, Kos & Kaos The Nordic Jewish Network, Chabad Lubavitch of Norway, Det Mosaiske Trossamfund (congregation) in Oslo, The Jewish Community of Trondheim, and The Jewish Community of Bergen, as well as The Jewish Community of Norway.
The groups asked the HL-Center board to issue a clarification about its role and mandate, “particularly with regard to comparisons between the Holocaust and contemporary conflicts.” They also want the center to establish clear guidelines about how its leadership and events will reflect “ongoing political conflicts,” most likely referring to the Israel-Hamas war.
“We expect the board to take this communication seriously. Our goal is to ensure that the HL Center remains a unifying and academically credible institution — also for the Jewish minority it was founded to protect and serve,” they noted. “We also wish to remind you of several previous communications concerning this matter, including the open letter from descendants of Holocaust victims and B’nai B’rith’s thorough report on the shortcomings we are again raising here. None of these has been answered in a satisfactory manner.”
Representatives from Norway’s major Jewish organizations said they previously reached out to the board of the HL-Center with their concerns regarding Holocaust trivialization, the director’s public statements, the center’s role in political conflicts, and how “Holocaust memory has been connected to contemporary wars during central commemorative events” at the center. Their concerns “appear to have led to little change,” they noted.
“The center has a particular responsibility to preserve the memory of the millions of Jews who were murdered, and to ensure that this memory is not relativized or instrumentalized for political purposes,” they added, after pointing out that the institution was established partially with funds from a restitution settlement following the liquidation of Jewish property during the Holocaust.
“The point is not to preclude criticism of Israeli policy, but to make clear how easily such parallels can contribute to trivializing the particular character of the Holocaust, and that such rhetoric can contribute to increased antisemitism,” the open letter pointed out.
Norway is a part of the International Holocaust Remembrance Alliance (IHRA). According to the IHRA definition of antisemitism, drawing a comparison between Israel and the Nazis is a contemporary example of antisemitism.