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Jewish marriage rites are robust. Now a rabbi is innovating rituals for Jews who divorce.

(J. The Jewish News of Northern California via JTA) — For Lyssa Jaye, throwing the wood chips into the Tuolumne River felt in many ways familiar to the tashlich ritual performed on Rosh Hashanah. But rather than casting off her sins, she was tossing away feelings: shame, resentment, anger.

They were the emotions that had taken residence inside Jaye since her divorce eight years ago, along with a sense of failure. And she had come to a Jewish retreat to rid herself of them.

“I’ve been carrying around these feelings for years now,” Jaye said. “I have a completely different life now, and I needed to let them go.”

Jaye was taking part in Divorce & Discovery: A Jewish Healing Retreat, the first-ever gathering in a series conceived by Rabbi Deborah Newbrun as part of her training, held this month at Camp Tawonga in the Bay Area.

One of the requirements at the Pluralistic Rabbinical Seminary, where Newbrun was ordained last year in the first graduating class, “was that each of us had to do an innovation, or something that didn’t exist before,” she said.

Newbrun, who directed Camp Tawonga for more than two decades, has been recognized for innovative programming for such achievements as initiating Tawonga’s LGBT family camp and founding its wilderness department. She even won a prestigious 2018 Covenant Award for Jewish educators. But as she started thinking about how to fulfill the seminary requirement, her first thought was, “I don’t have any ideas left in me.”

Then she began reflecting back on her divorce years earlier. She remembered how she had approached numerous rabbis and colleagues in search of Jewish support around the grief she felt. And how they all came up empty-handed.

That’s when she realized: “I can put together something meaningful and helpful for people going through divorce.”

From the moment participants arrived at Camp Tawonga near Yosemite, they knew this would be no ordinary Jewish retreat. At the opening event, all of the facilitators, several clergy members and a therapist shared their own divorce stories, “to set the standard and normalize vulnerability, transparent sharing and establish that we all know what it’s like to have a marriage end,” Newbrun said.

Most participants were from the Bay Area, with a handful from farther afield. They were in different life stages, from those in their 30s dealing with custody battles over young children, to empty nesters in their 60s. Some had separated from their partners years ago, while others had gone their separate ways more recently. Some split amicably; a good many did not. But all had come up against a lack of Jewish resources or support when navigating this major life passage.

Rabbi Deborah Newbrun, the founder of Divorce and Discovery at the recent weekend. (Photo/Margot Yecies)

Jaye said she left no stone unturned in seeking out support, an experience Newbrun said she heard echoed by many participants. Jaye attended a retreat at a local meditation center. She read self-help books. She joined a support group for divorcees. She went to therapy.

And while they all helped in different ways, none was specifically Jewish.

“I knew I needed some kind of spiritual way forward,” she said. “I needed to do this in my own language, with my own people.”

Even though the retreat came nearly a decade years after Jaye’s divorce, “it was profound. It felt like coming home, and that this is what I needed all along. This model could be extremely powerful. The rituals we did could be taught in rabbinical schools or to Jewish educators so it’s not just ‘sign this get and goodbye,’” she said, referring to the Jewish divorce document.

Rather than create new rituals, Newbrun and her facilitators took familiar Jewish rituals and retooled them.

The tashlich ritual, led by Newbrun and Maggid Jhos Singer, had a call-and-response portion, and participants also could call out what they personally wanted to cast off. “One person ‘tashliched’ their wedding ring into the river and felt it was such a perfect place to let it go!” said Newbrun. 

An optional immersion in the Tuolumne River followed. Jaye, who years ago went to the mikvah alone, with only the attendant there for support, said there was no comparison with how much more healing it felt performing the ritual in community.

A session on sitting shiva for one’s marriage, led by Rabbi Sue Reinhold, allowed participants to share and mourn the loss of what they missed most about being married. That resonated for Robyn Lieberman, who does not attend synagogue services but went to every session at the retreat on innovating Jewish rituals.

“I did need to mourn what I’m losing,” said Lieberman, who had been married to an Israeli. “We had a very public, open house around Jewish religion, and a constant Israeli identity, which fulfilled my Jewish needs.”

Rabbi Jennie Chabon of Congregation B’nai Tikvah in Walnut Creek reflected on how much time she has spent with couples preparing for their wedding day, both in premarital counseling and in planning the event, and on how many marriage-related topics are covered in rabbinical school.

“And when it comes to divorce? Nothing,” Chabon said. “We’re all out here on our own trying to figure out how to wander through it.”

She was tasked with creating a havdalah ceremony with a divorce theme, in which she reimagined the wine, spices and flame typically used to mark a division between Shabbat and the rest of the week.

“There’s a fire that burns within each of us, and that flame doesn’t go out,” said Chabon, 47. “When you’re married for a long time, your identity, energy and spirit is so woven into that of another.” Her ritual was meant to affirm that “you are on fire just as you are, and you’re a blessing as an individual in the world. You don’t need a partnership or family to be whole.”

Even the Shabbat Torah service was on theme.

Rabbi Jennie Chabon reads from the Torah during a service at the Divorce and Discovery retreat. (Photo/Margot Yecies)

Rather than focusing on Noah’s emergence from the ark after the flood, Chabon spoke about a lesser-known section of the week’s Torah portion, in which Noah builds a fire and offers a sacrifice to God. But if the entire earth was drenched from the flood, Chabon asked, what did he burn?

“The answer is he must have burned the ark,” Chabon said in recalling her talk at the retreat. “What does that mean for people going through this incredibly painful and tender time in their lives, when what was once a safe container and secure and protected them, they have to burn it down in order to start life anew?

“This is a perfect rebirth metaphor. But what’s being birthed is a new self and a new identity in the world as a single person,” Chabon said. “You have to release and let go of what was to make room for the blessing for who you’re going to become.”

At a ritual “hackathon” workshop presented by Newbrun, participants suggested standing during Kaddish at synagogue to mourn their marriages, and offering their children a Friday night blessing that they are whole whether they are at either parent’s home.

Not all of the sessions centered on Jewish ritual. In a session on the Japanese art of kintsugi, or mending broken pottery, attendees made vessels whose cracks they fixed with putty, symbolizing that beauty can be found in imperfection. Many danced in a Saturday-night silent disco.

Everyone was assigned to a small group, or havurah, that they met with daily, so they could establish deeper connections within the larger cohort.

“To have gone through some of these practices was very meaningful to me,” said Lieberman. “It’s not like I put a seal on my marriage and wrapped it up in a bow and put it behind me, but it was a nice catharsis for completing a transition that I’ve been very thoughtful about.”

Newbrun aims to recreate the retreat in communities around the country. Both Jaye and Lieberman said they found value in being in community with people “who get it,” without the judgment they often face.

“I was a little skeptical that all I’d have in common with people was that we were Jewish and divorced, and that that wouldn’t be enough for me to form a relationship,” said Lieberman. “But having the willingness to talk about it and explore it did open up a lot of very vulnerable conversations. The expert facilitation really made us think about the fact that divorce is not about your paper [certificate], it’s about reexamining the direction of your life and who you want to be.”

A version of this piece originally ran in J. The Jewish News of Northern California, and is reprinted with permission.


The post Jewish marriage rites are robust. Now a rabbi is innovating rituals for Jews who divorce. appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.

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Why NBA Teams Start Defending Before Half Court

Image Source: Infographic by author

An NBA defender who meets a ball handler near the opposite baseline is trying to interfere with the possession before the offense gets organized. The immediate reward need not be a steal. Making a guard change direction, protect the ball, or find another receiver can interrupt the route into a play. But pressure has several possible results, and slowing that first journey does not necessarily slow the whole game.

In Logan Murdock’s November 2025 report on full-court defense, Phoenix Suns guard Jordan Goodwin described his aim: “Try to make them take at least six seconds off the clock.” That was his target, not a measured average. Indiana Pacers coach Rick Carlisle described another purpose: getting opponents to play faster than they prefer. Both approaches interfere with timing, though one delays the setup while the other hurries decisions.

The shot clock helps explain the difference. In a normal NBA possession following a made basket, the offense has 24 seconds, with the countdown starting when the inbound pass is legally touched on the court. It must also advance out of the backcourt within eight seconds. Crossing half court does not start a fresh shot clock. Time spent getting there leaves less time to create a shot. A defensive deflection that stays inbounds does not restart the countdown.

Defensive pressure also needs careful interpretation in basketball betting. An NBA matchup on the Bovada website cannot be reduced to whether one team presses: the combined score depends on how often both sides get the ball and what they do with their chances. A defender delaying the first pass into an offense can leave less time for a good attempt. A turnover followed by a quick basket has a different effect.

Those possibilities make defensive intensity an incomplete description of a scoring outlook. A team can force its opponent to work harder while creating quick attacking chances for itself. It can also concede an easy chance when pressure fails. Understanding the tactic means separating its purpose from its outcome, rather than treating an aggressive defender as evidence that the game must produce fewer points.

Pressure does not always mean a trap

One defender following the ball is different from two defenders closing around it. The first can contest the dribbler while teammates remain with their own assignments. A trap commits another player to the ball, so teammates elsewhere must cover the passing options and protect the basket.

A stopped dribble changes the contest. Once a player voluntarily picks up the ball, he cannot simply start dribbling again. He can still pivot, pass, or shoot, but moving away from pressure with another dribble is no longer an option. A defender can therefore restrict movement without taking possession. This is also why a guard’s choice to keep the dribble alive deserves attention: it preserves a way to move while searching for a pass.

Watch where the ball goes next. A trap can succeed by forcing an awkward pass that another defender intercepts. The players surrounding the ball do not have to be the ones who take it away. Reaching for a steal also differs from keeping the ball handler contained; abandoning position can give the guard a route past the pressure.

The offense has answers. In the Murdock report referenced earlier, Golden State guard Brandin Podziemski described using his body to shield the ball against smaller defenders and quickness to get beyond longer opponents. Beating the first defender can leave that player trailing, creating a temporary advantage farther upcourt. The remaining defenders then have to respond to an attack before their teammate has time to recover.

Three possible outcomes of early pressure: delayed setup, hurried decisions, or an attacking advantage when pressure is beaten

The work before a highlight

Former NBA guard Keith Bogans gives a defender’s perspective in his conversation with Vernon Maxwell. Discussing Jaden McDaniels, Bogans says that seeing a defender pick up a superstar across the court gets him excited in the way a dunk or crossover excites other viewers.

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His reaction focuses on the challenge being accepted. The scorer has someone to deal with before reaching a preferred attacking position. Bogans also describes the recognition that such defensive work receives from teammates and coaches, even when it attracts little attention elsewhere.

The assignment does not end when the scorer passes. The defender still needs to follow the play and be ready for the ball to return. Early pressure can force a star to give up the ball without removing him from the possession. Watching the next pass shows whether the defense has actually disrupted the attack or merely moved it.

When defense creates offense

Indiana scored 19 points off turnovers in Finals Game 6 against Oklahoma City on June 19, 2025. The figure does not isolate full-court pressure.

A change of possession ends one team’s opportunity and begins another’s. The team winning the ball can attack immediately or organize its offense, depending on the space and defenders ahead. Pressure therefore cannot be assessed only by the time an opponent spends bringing the ball forward.

Look beyond the pickup point. Does the offense arrive late but still organized? Does it make a hurried pass? Does the ball handler escape and make the remaining defenders cover extra ground? The first defender can use up time without winning the ball. If the guard gets past him, watch whether the other defenders can stop the drive without leaving someone open.

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In ex-Knick Michael Sweetney, Jewish friends mourn a beloved coach ‘who knew exactly how to show up’

Tamir Goodman stuck out like a sore thumb, a yarmulke-wearing redhead at a practice for a showcase of Greater Washington’s top high school talent. The year was 2000, and Goodman, an Orthodox Jewish hoops prodigy, had already been on the cover of Sports Illustrated. What he did not have at that practice was a friend.

But when the all-star team’s coach had players pair up for shooting practice, one teammate approached Goodman: the 6-foot-8, Georgetown-bound power forward Michael Sweetney.

“He’s like, “Hey, I’ll be your shooting partner,” Goodman, 44, recalled by phone Thursday. “And from that moment, we just never left each other.”

Sweetney, who went on to play for the New York Knicks, later said he had never met a Jewish person before that day. But when he died Wednesday of complications from a heart attack, he had not only one Jewish friend mourning his passing, but hundreds.

Mike Sweetney, left, with Tamir Goodman on a trip to Israel in 2019. Courtesy of Tamir Goodman

Orthodox Jewish New Yorkers, who got to know Sweetney through his years teaching basketball at their schools, summer camps, synagogues and even birthday parties, remembered him in tributes Thursday as a humble mentor, a model of courage and a loyal friend in times of Jewish vulnerability.

Those early shooting sessions with Goodman, it turned out, had planted the seed for Sweetney’s post-NBA basketball endeavors, including a four-year stint at Yeshiva University, where he served as an assistant during the men’s team’s famous 50-game win streak.

“The world lost a giant today,” Elliot Steinmetz, Yeshiva’s head coach, wrote Thursday on X. “I lost a close friend. The basketball world lost a beloved star. Our Jewish community lost an ally and someone who knew exactly how to show up.”

Sweetney, who was 43, is survived by his wife, India, and three children.

A perfect matchup

Sweetney brought undeniable but understated starpower to the basketball-obsessed Orthodox community. That community’s embrace also helped Sweetney find purpose after his playing career and reignite his love for the game.

After starring at Georgetown, Sweetney was selected ninth by the Knicks in the 2003 NBA Draft — eight picks after LeBron James. But Sweetney’s career in the league lasted just four years, derailed by struggles with weight and depression that followed his father’s sudden death. (He later revealed he had contemplated suicide as a rookie.) He played another decade for pro teams in China and Latin America before washing out of the sport.

Sensing that his friend was in a bad place, Goodman invited Sweetney to Israel in 2019 to help with a basketball camp he had started.

“I told him a lot of good things happen when you come to Israel,” Goodman said. During the visit, Sweetney opened up about the challenges he had been experiencing. Goodman suggested he go into coaching, and soon connected him with Steinmetz — a Knicks die-hard — who offered him a job.

“When Tamir called me about him, initially, I’m like, ‘Oh, cool, I get to talk to Mike Sweetney, that’ll be fun,’” Steinmetz said Thursday in an interview. “Once I spoke to him the first time, I’m like, ‘That’s just such a nice guy.”

A Yeshiva League staple

Sweetney’s entry into the world of Orthodox Jewish basketball, initiated by Goodman, helped facilitate his turnaround, transforming a point of professional failure into a source of inspiration for others.

A classic back-to-the-basket player in his day, Sweetney relished working with the Yeshiva forwards, who delighted in trying their post moves on a former NBA lottery pick.

“All the bigs’ favorite part of practice was going up against Mike,” recalled Gabriel Leifer, a team captain during Yeshiva’s win streak.

Sweetney was getting something out of the work, too. Those who worked with him up close could see his passion for the sport — which had become a dark place for him — coming back to life.

Sweetney signs autographs on Yeshiva’s home court. Courtesy of Elliot Steinmetz

Harold Katz, a coach who occasionally helped with the Yeshiva program, said that despite his NBA pedigree, Sweetney had no pretenses when it came to learning the school’s motion offense. Instead, he seemed to enjoy it. “He would always say it’s fun — like playing this way is fun.” Katz remembered. “He’d say, ‘I wish I played in this.’”

Sweetney told the New York Post in 2019 that the Jewish world had helped him find stability after basketball.

“I’m comfortable here. I’m treated well here. It’s been amazing,” he said at the time. “To be happy and be at peace, I would’ve been shocked. I wouldn’t have thought it was possible.”

The coaching roles — at Yeshiva and at Ramaz, an Orthodox high school where he coached the girls’ team — also helped Sweetney book speaking engagements and countless youth basketball clinics. He also became an advocate for Black-Jewish relations.

“It starts off that, ‘Oh my God, there’s this big NBA guy who’s at all the YU games,’” Steinmetz said, “but then people start talking to him and they fall in love with his personality because he’s just such a warm, caring guy.”

Driving to and from Yeshiva games over the years, Steinmetz and Sweetney grew close — a friendship that held even after the latter left Yeshiva in 2023 to work in the mental health arena.

The true testament to the kind of person Sweetney was, Steinmetz said, came after they stopped working together, on Oct. 7, 2023. Steinmetz was in Israel at the time; the first text message he received as the attacks were unfolding, he said, was from Sweetney.

“He’s like, ‘Please confirm for me that you’re okay,’” Steinmetz said. “Two days later: ‘Hey, did you get home yet?’ He just cared. He wasn’t checking a box — he cared.”

If you are in crisis, please call, text or chat with the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988, or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741.

The post In ex-Knick Michael Sweetney, Jewish friends mourn a beloved coach ‘who knew exactly how to show up’ appeared first on The Forward.

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Sacred fasting meets Ozempic

Millions of people worldwide – as many as 1 in 8 adults in the U.S. – are on GLP-1 medication, such as Ozempic, Mounjaro, Wegovy and Zepbound, for treating diabetes or for weight loss.

These drugs are adding a medical twist to religious observances that involve fasting, such as the Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur, which will be observed from sundown on Sunday until nightfall on Monday. Traditionally, fasting on Yom Kippur means forgoing food and water for about 25 hours, which can strongly affect a person’s metabolism.

Other religious traditions include different types of fasts. For example, Muslims who fast during Ramadan neither eat nor drink from dawn to sunset, but they break their fast each night. Christian and Hindu traditions also include dry fasts as well as partial fasts, such as Lent and Navratri, in which people avoid certain foods.

As a specialist in obesity medicine, I work with many patients who take GLP-1 drugs. Most people can safely fast for Yom Kippur or other religious or cultural observances. But depending on their circumstances, they may need to plan ahead, take certain precautions and be clear on when it’s medically advised that they break their fast.

Common GLP-1 side effects and fasting

GLP-1 drugs such as Ozempic, Mounjaro, Wegovy and Zepbound mimic a natural gut hormone– glucagon-like peptide 1 – that lowers your blood sugar by triggering insulin release when your blood sugar is high. These drugs also slow how quickly food passes through the stomach, which reduces appetite to aid in weight loss.

GLP-1s have some common side effects that can occur in anyone taking them, including nausea, vomiting, dizziness, constipation and dehydration. Fasting may exacerbate them, especially in people who are prone to an upset stomach. GLP-1 side effects are also more common when a patient is increasing their dose, which usually happens monthly as tolerated until they reach their full dosage.

That’s why, if you’re planning to fast for Yom Kippur, it’s best to avoid starting a new GLP-1 medication or increasing the dose of your medication sooner than two weeks or so before the holiday.

GLP-1 drugs work by simulating a gut hormone produced in the body, spurring the release of insulin and slowing down digestion.

Timing your dose

If you take GLP-1 drugs as weekly injections, which is the most common way of dosing these medications, you should stick to your schedule even if you plan to fast. These drugs stay in your system during the entire week, so moving or skipping that weekly dose right before fasting can interfere with their effects on blood sugar or weight loss.

If your weekly injection falls on Yom Kippur, you can generally go ahead and administer it as scheduled. Some patients do report increased nausea on their injection day – if that happens to you, you may wish to delay the injection until after the fast, if you’ve cleared it with your doctor.

Patients who inject GLP-1 drugs daily may need to adjust the timing. For patients taking these medications for diabetes treatment, it may make sense to do the injection right before the meal that breaks the fast or to hold off until after the fast. This helps reduce the risk of stomach side effects, which can occur when these medications are taken on an empty stomach.

More recently, many patients have switched to oral GLP-1 medications. These pills must generally be taken on an empty stomach with a small amount of water, at a set time before taking any other drugs or any food or beverages.

Because fasting for Yom Kippur includes abstaining from drinking, taking the pill as directed may involve breaking the fast. That means you’ll need to decide in advance whether to take the medicine before the fast begins, after the fast ends or on an alternative schedule. It’s best to avoid simply skipping the daily dose scheduled for Yom Kippur and taking a double dose after the fast.

Skipping the dose won’t be harmful if you’re taking the medication for weight loss. But if you have diabetes, skipping it could dangerously elevate your blood sugar. And doubling the dose later could lead to serious side effects, such as pancreatitis, an inflammation of the pancreas that can lead to hospitalization.

Diabetes versus weight loss

If you’re using GLP-1 medications solely for weight management, fasting for 25 hours should not pose serious issues beyond stomach upset. In rare cases, though, combining these drugs with fasting can stress the pancreas enough to cause pancreatitis.

Fasting on GLP-1s carries the biggest risks for diabetic patients. That’s because GLP-1 medications are often used alongside other drugs that work primarily by lowering blood sugar, which raises patients’ overall risk of a blood sugar crash.

The greatest concern is in patients taking a GLP-1 medication together with insulin or drugs that stimulate insulin production, such as sulfonylureas. The GLP-1 medication itself may not cause a drop in blood sugar. But because it suppresses appetite and lowers glucose levels, these other medications can magnify the risk of low blood sugar during a prolonged fast.

If that’s your situation, talk to your doctor about whether you can adjust the timing, dose and type of insulin you take and reduce your dose of sulfonylurea in order to fast safely.

In general, people who have Type 1 diabetes or poorly controlled diabetes are strongly advised not to fast – as are people who:

  • Experience frequent or severe drops in blood sugar.
  • Have hypoglycemia unawareness – an absence of warning signs for high blood sugar.
  • Are managing diabetes during pregnancy.
  • Have severe kidney disease with a high risk of dehydration.
  • Experience severe gastrointestinal side effects from GLP-1 medications.
Not overeating along with drinking plenty of water beforehand is helpful for anyone fasting – but crucial for people on GLP-1 medications.

From prefast prep to the post-holiday meal

Regardless of what GLP-1 medication you take and for what indication, if you plan to fast you’ll need to do some pregaming, monitor how your fast is going and be mindful of how you break it.

  • First, if you are unsure about anything, talk to the clinician who is monitoring your GLP-1 drug treatment so you can decide together whether fasting is safe for you and whether your situation requires any special precautions.
  • Before fasting, it’s important to eat a normal meal that includes protein and to avoid both overeating and undereating. Overeating is never recommended when on GLP-1 medications, and undereating can set you up for more side effects during the fast. Although GLP-1 therapy can substantially reduce appetite, patients should avoid skipping the prefast meal entirely.
  • GLP-1 medications don’t just decrease appetite – they can also suppress the body’s natural thirst signals. So before your fast begins, aim to stay hydrated to prevent getting dehydrated while fasting.
  • If you are diabetic, make sure you fast under close guidance from your doctor – and make sure you are checking your blood sugar during fasting. Using a glucose monitor is a good idea, particularly if you are taking insulin or other glucose-lowering medications. The goal is for your blood sugar to remain within your usual daily nonfasting range.
  • Be ready to break your fast right away if you start feeling dizzy, confused, faint, nauseated or acutely ill, or if your blood sugar dips too low or spikes too high. These symptoms are dangerous and need to be addressed immediately. Stash a rapid source of carbohydrates – even just some glucose tablets or a few hard candies – within reach so you can access them quickly if needed.
  • Finally, plan a gentle, balanced meal to break the fast rather than an unusually large meal, which may provoke nausea, abdominal pain, reflux or vomiting. It’s generally best to avoid higher-fat foods, too, since they can slow down digestion.The Conversation

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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