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Jewish marriage rites are robust. Now a rabbi is innovating rituals for Jews who divorce.
(J. The Jewish News of Northern California via JTA) — For Lyssa Jaye, throwing the wood chips into the Tuolumne River felt in many ways familiar to the tashlich ritual performed on Rosh Hashanah. But rather than casting off her sins, she was tossing away feelings: shame, resentment, anger.
They were the emotions that had taken residence inside Jaye since her divorce eight years ago, along with a sense of failure. And she had come to a Jewish retreat to rid herself of them.
“I’ve been carrying around these feelings for years now,” Jaye said. “I have a completely different life now, and I needed to let them go.”
Jaye was taking part in Divorce & Discovery: A Jewish Healing Retreat, the first-ever gathering in a series conceived by Rabbi Deborah Newbrun as part of her training, held this month at Camp Tawonga in the Bay Area.
One of the requirements at the Pluralistic Rabbinical Seminary, where Newbrun was ordained last year in the first graduating class, “was that each of us had to do an innovation, or something that didn’t exist before,” she said.
Newbrun, who directed Camp Tawonga for more than two decades, has been recognized for innovative programming for such achievements as initiating Tawonga’s LGBT family camp and founding its wilderness department. She even won a prestigious 2018 Covenant Award for Jewish educators. But as she started thinking about how to fulfill the seminary requirement, her first thought was, “I don’t have any ideas left in me.”
Then she began reflecting back on her divorce years earlier. She remembered how she had approached numerous rabbis and colleagues in search of Jewish support around the grief she felt. And how they all came up empty-handed.
That’s when she realized: “I can put together something meaningful and helpful for people going through divorce.”
From the moment participants arrived at Camp Tawonga near Yosemite, they knew this would be no ordinary Jewish retreat. At the opening event, all of the facilitators, several clergy members and a therapist shared their own divorce stories, “to set the standard and normalize vulnerability, transparent sharing and establish that we all know what it’s like to have a marriage end,” Newbrun said.
Most participants were from the Bay Area, with a handful from farther afield. They were in different life stages, from those in their 30s dealing with custody battles over young children, to empty nesters in their 60s. Some had separated from their partners years ago, while others had gone their separate ways more recently. Some split amicably; a good many did not. But all had come up against a lack of Jewish resources or support when navigating this major life passage.
Rabbi Deborah Newbrun, the founder of Divorce and Discovery at the recent weekend. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Jaye said she left no stone unturned in seeking out support, an experience Newbrun said she heard echoed by many participants. Jaye attended a retreat at a local meditation center. She read self-help books. She joined a support group for divorcees. She went to therapy.
And while they all helped in different ways, none was specifically Jewish.
“I knew I needed some kind of spiritual way forward,” she said. “I needed to do this in my own language, with my own people.”
Even though the retreat came nearly a decade years after Jaye’s divorce, “it was profound. It felt like coming home, and that this is what I needed all along. This model could be extremely powerful. The rituals we did could be taught in rabbinical schools or to Jewish educators so it’s not just ‘sign this get and goodbye,’” she said, referring to the Jewish divorce document.
Rather than create new rituals, Newbrun and her facilitators took familiar Jewish rituals and retooled them.
The tashlich ritual, led by Newbrun and Maggid Jhos Singer, had a call-and-response portion, and participants also could call out what they personally wanted to cast off. “One person ‘tashliched’ their wedding ring into the river and felt it was such a perfect place to let it go!” said Newbrun.
An optional immersion in the Tuolumne River followed. Jaye, who years ago went to the mikvah alone, with only the attendant there for support, said there was no comparison with how much more healing it felt performing the ritual in community.
A session on sitting shiva for one’s marriage, led by Rabbi Sue Reinhold, allowed participants to share and mourn the loss of what they missed most about being married. That resonated for Robyn Lieberman, who does not attend synagogue services but went to every session at the retreat on innovating Jewish rituals.
“I did need to mourn what I’m losing,” said Lieberman, who had been married to an Israeli. “We had a very public, open house around Jewish religion, and a constant Israeli identity, which fulfilled my Jewish needs.”
Rabbi Jennie Chabon of Congregation B’nai Tikvah in Walnut Creek reflected on how much time she has spent with couples preparing for their wedding day, both in premarital counseling and in planning the event, and on how many marriage-related topics are covered in rabbinical school.
“And when it comes to divorce? Nothing,” Chabon said. “We’re all out here on our own trying to figure out how to wander through it.”
She was tasked with creating a havdalah ceremony with a divorce theme, in which she reimagined the wine, spices and flame typically used to mark a division between Shabbat and the rest of the week.
“There’s a fire that burns within each of us, and that flame doesn’t go out,” said Chabon, 47. “When you’re married for a long time, your identity, energy and spirit is so woven into that of another.” Her ritual was meant to affirm that “you are on fire just as you are, and you’re a blessing as an individual in the world. You don’t need a partnership or family to be whole.”
Even the Shabbat Torah service was on theme.
Rabbi Jennie Chabon reads from the Torah during a service at the Divorce and Discovery retreat. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Rather than focusing on Noah’s emergence from the ark after the flood, Chabon spoke about a lesser-known section of the week’s Torah portion, in which Noah builds a fire and offers a sacrifice to God. But if the entire earth was drenched from the flood, Chabon asked, what did he burn?
“The answer is he must have burned the ark,” Chabon said in recalling her talk at the retreat. “What does that mean for people going through this incredibly painful and tender time in their lives, when what was once a safe container and secure and protected them, they have to burn it down in order to start life anew?
“This is a perfect rebirth metaphor. But what’s being birthed is a new self and a new identity in the world as a single person,” Chabon said. “You have to release and let go of what was to make room for the blessing for who you’re going to become.”
At a ritual “hackathon” workshop presented by Newbrun, participants suggested standing during Kaddish at synagogue to mourn their marriages, and offering their children a Friday night blessing that they are whole whether they are at either parent’s home.
Not all of the sessions centered on Jewish ritual. In a session on the Japanese art of kintsugi, or mending broken pottery, attendees made vessels whose cracks they fixed with putty, symbolizing that beauty can be found in imperfection. Many danced in a Saturday-night silent disco.
Everyone was assigned to a small group, or havurah, that they met with daily, so they could establish deeper connections within the larger cohort.
“To have gone through some of these practices was very meaningful to me,” said Lieberman. “It’s not like I put a seal on my marriage and wrapped it up in a bow and put it behind me, but it was a nice catharsis for completing a transition that I’ve been very thoughtful about.”
Newbrun aims to recreate the retreat in communities around the country. Both Jaye and Lieberman said they found value in being in community with people “who get it,” without the judgment they often face.
“I was a little skeptical that all I’d have in common with people was that we were Jewish and divorced, and that that wouldn’t be enough for me to form a relationship,” said Lieberman. “But having the willingness to talk about it and explore it did open up a lot of very vulnerable conversations. The expert facilitation really made us think about the fact that divorce is not about your paper [certificate], it’s about reexamining the direction of your life and who you want to be.”
A version of this piece originally ran in J. The Jewish News of Northern California, and is reprinted with permission.
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The post Jewish marriage rites are robust. Now a rabbi is innovating rituals for Jews who divorce. appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
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Support for Iran war among ‘connected’ US Jews falls again, poll finds
(JTA) — In the early days of the U.S.-Israel war on Iran, 68% of “connected” American Jews — those with ties to American Jewish institutions — supported the war, according to a poll taken by an Israeli public affairs institute.
That proportion fell weeks into the war and fell further to 60% just after President Donald Trump unilaterally announced a ceasefire on April 8, the same survey found, according to results released by the Jewish People Policy Institute last week and publicized on Sunday.
The decline was sharpest among those who identified as “leaning liberal,” 42% of whom are supportive of the war, down from 57% in early March.
At the same time, opposition among “connected” Jews has risen sharply, with about a third saying they oppose the war, up from 26% just after the war’s start. And only 14% of respondents said they believed the war had achieved “major success.”
The survey of 806 American Jews, taken April 15-19, drew from a panel that JPPI maintains and surveys regularly. The institute says its polls reflect the sentiments of “connected” Jews because its panel includes fewer intermarried Jews, more Jews who are affiliated with denominations and more Jews who have lived in Israel than demographic data suggests is representative of U.S. Jewry overall.
Two polls taken weeks into the war, before the ceasefire, found that most American Jews overall opposed the U.S. military campaign against Iran.
The latest results arrive as the future of the war and its dividends so far remain uncertain. Facing widespread public disapproval on Iran and pressure over oil prices, Trump has repeatedly extended the ceasefire despite failing to extract the major concessions from the Iranians that he has called for. This weekend, he said he was unsatisfied with their latest offer and said he remained torn between wanting to keep pressing for a diplomatic agreement or choosing to “go and just blast the hell out of them and finish them forever.”
Speaking at an event in Florida, Trump said. “Frankly, maybe we’re better off not making a deal at all. Do you want to know the truth? Because we can’t let this thing go on. Been going on too long.”
Iranian officials have reportedly said they expect a return to fighting, and the Israelis also have said they remain at a high level of military readiness.
A key sticking point is the future of Iran’s nuclear program, which Trump vowed to eliminate. The Iranians have offered to halt nuclear enrichment for up to five years, but Trump has rejected that offer and is pushing for a 20-year pause — longer than the 15-year hiatus in the agreement President Barack Obama in 2015 struck that Trump exited in 2018. Following the collapse of that deal, the Iranians are understood to have embarked on an enrichment spree, giving the regime the most nuclear material it has ever possessed. Much of that material remains buried but extractible under facilities Trump bombed last year.
This article originally appeared on JTA.org.
The post Support for Iran war among ‘connected’ US Jews falls again, poll finds appeared first on The Forward.
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A folksy approach to this year’s Yiddish symposium in Amsterdam
דעם 21סטן אַפּריל איז פֿאָרגעקומען דער יערלעכער אַמסטערדאַמער ייִדיש־סימפּאָזיום, נאָר דאָס יאָר איז עפּעס ניט געװען װי געװײנטלעך. איז מה נשתּנה, מיט װאָס איז דער הײַיאָריקער סימפּאָזיום געװען אַנדערש װי אַלע יאָר?
מיט 20 יאָר צוריק האָט דער פֿילאָלאָג און היסטאָריקער שלמה בערגער ע״ה געגרינדעט דעם סימפּאָזיום — װי אַ פֿאָרש־קאָנפֿערענץ. אלא װאָס, אין יאָר 2026 איז דאָס ניט געװען קײן שמועס פֿון פֿאָרשער צװישן זיך, אין העלפֿאַנדבײן־טורעם, נאָר אַ קולטור־אונטערנעמונג פֿאַרן ברײטן עולם.
שױן דאָס באַגריס־װאָרט האָט געשמעקט מיט פּאָפּולאַריזירונג און פֿאָלקסטימלעכקײט. באַגריסט האָט דעם עולם די לעקטאָרין פֿאַר דער ייִדישער שפּראַך און ליטעראַטור בײַם אַמסטערדאַמער אוניװערסיטעט, דניאלה זײַדמאַן־מאַוער. אַלײן רעדנדיק אױף ענגליש, האָט זי באַמערקט, אַז מאַמע־לשון קװעלט מן־הסתּם פֿון נחת, זעענדיק די חסידישע קינדער װאָס בײַ זײ אין מױל לעבט די שפּראַך װײַטער.
זײַדמאַן־מאַוער האָט פֿון צײַט צו צײַט פֿאָרט אַרײַנגעכאַפּט אַ ייִדיש װאָרט: „זיצן שיבֿעה“, „קוגל“, „חוצפּה“. אױך יצחק באַשעװיסן האָט מען דערמאָנט. װי ניט איז, קומט זײַדמאַן־מאַורער אַ גרױסער יישר־כּוח פֿאַרן אײַנאָרדענען דעם סימפּאָזיום. אין דעם פּרט איז איר אַרבעט געװען זײער אַ געראָטענע.
סך־הכּל זײַנען געװען דרײַ רעדנערס. בײַם אָנהײב איז אַרױסגעטראָטן דװקא אַ װיסנשאַפֿטלערין מיט אַ רעפֿעראַט װעגן לינגװיסטיק. דאָס איז געװען די שפּראַך־פֿאָרשערין חיה־רחל נאָװע פֿון ניו־יאָרק. זי האָט איבערגעגעבן אינטערעסאַנטע אױספֿירן פֿון איר פֿאָרשונג און בעת־מעשׂה פֿאַרװײַלט דעם צוהערער־עולם.
אײדער ניו־יאָרק האָט געהײסן ניו־יאָרק, האָבן דאָרט געװױנט האָלענדישע קאָלאָניסטן אין אַ ייִשובֿ אױפֿן נאָמען נײַ־אַמסטערדאַם. אַפֿילו די שפּעטערדיקע דורות האָבן נאָך אַ צײַט לאַנג אױפֿגעהיט די נידערלענדישע שפּראַך — זײ האָבן זיך געהאַט זײערע צײַטונגען און אױך אײגענע שולן. אױב אַזױ, האָט די לינגװיסטן נאָװע געטענהט, קען מען דאָך מאַכן אַ גזירה־שװה און זאָגן דאָס אײגענע װעגן דער חסידישער באַפֿעלקערונג הײַנט צו טאָג, װאָרן אַ סך חסידים לעבן זיך װײַטער אױס אױף דער ייִדישער שפּראַך — צװישן זײ נאָװע אַלײן.
בשעתן רעפֿעראַט האָט זי טאַקע געװיזן אַ קורצן פֿילם מיט איר אײניקל װאָס לײענט פֿון אַ ייִדיש־לערנבוך. בײַם סוף האָט זי נאָך געװיזן אַ מוזיק־װידעאָ מיט אַ רעפּ פֿונעם פּאָפּולערן חסידישן זינגער אַרי סאַמעט. „פּסח האָבן די קינדער דאָס געזונגען אָן אױפֿהער!“ — האָט זי געזאָגט.
צװישן די גורמים װאָס פֿאַרזיכערן דעם המשך פֿון דער שפּראַך האָט נאָװע דערמאָנט דעם פֿאַקט, װאָס מע קען פֿירן געשעפֿטן און מאַכן אַ קאַריערע אױף ייִדיש. מע דאַרף ניט צוקומען צו ענגליש כּדי פּרנסה צו האָבן. אַחוץ געזעלשאַפֿטלעכע פֿאַקטאָרן האָט נאָװע אױך אַרומעגערעדט פֿאַקטן פֿון דער שפּראַך גופֿא.
אינעם לשון פֿון הײַנטיקע חסידים געפֿינען זיך סימנים סײַ פֿון המשך און סײַ פֿון באַנײַונג. חסידים זאָגן, למשל, „אַלעס“ (פֿאַר „אַלץ“) — פּונקט װי דער ייִדיש־רעדנידקער עולם אין אונגאַרישן אונטערלאַנד פֿאַר דער מלחמה. פֿון דער צװײטער זײַט, זאָגט מען הײַנט צו טאָג „אײביק“ (ניט „אַלע מאָל“, „תּמיד“ אָדער „אַלץ“) — אַ װאָרט װאָס אַמאָליקע צײַטן האָט מען עס זעלטן װען געבראַכט פֿאַרן מױל, און אַז יאָ, איז מײנענדיק דװקא „נצח“ און ניט אַז מע טוט עפּעס שטענדיק, כּסדר.
דער צװײטער רעדנער אױפֿן סימפּאָזיום האָט שױן גערעדט אין גאַנצן ניט אַקאַדעמיש, נאָר דערצײלט אַנעקדאָטן, פּערזענלעכע זכרונות. אױך בײַ אים האָט מען זיך גוט פֿאַרװײַלט און ער האָט ניט אײן מאָל אַרױסגערופֿן אַ געלעכטער בײַם עולם. דאָס האָט געשמועסט דער שוועדישער פֿאַרלעגער ניקאָלײַ אָלניאַנסקי װעגן זײַן פֿאַרלאַג און װעגן דעם װי אַזױ ער האָט זיך גענומען צום אַרױסגעבן הײַנטצײַטיקע װעלטלעכע ליטעראַטור אױף ייִדיש.
אָלניאַנסקי איז אַ שװעד װאָס האָט זיך מגייר געװען. לכתּחילה האָט ער גענומען זיך לערנען ייִדיש כּדי ניט אָנצוּװערן זײַן סטודענטישע דירה. אָבער נאָך דעם האָט ער שטאַרק הנאה געהאַט פֿון די שפּראַך־לעקציעס מיט שלמה שולמאַנען ע״ה, װאָס האָט דעמאָלט געהאַלטן ייִדיש־לעקציעס אױפֿן לונדער אוניװערסיטעט. שפּעטערצו האָט ייִדיש געשפּילט אַ צענטראַלע ראָלע פֿאַר זײַן באַנעמען זיך אַלײן װי אַ ייִד.
מיט דער צײַט האָט אָלניאַנסקי, אין אײנעם מיט זײַן װײַב אידאַ, אַלײן אָנגעהױבן זיך אױסלעבן אױף ייִדיש און אַרױסגעבן אַ צײַטשריפֿט, װאָס אין איר האָבן זײ געשריבן װעגן „העװי מעטאַל“, װידעאָ־שפּילן און נאָך ענינים װאָס האָבן זײ פֿאַראינטערעסירט. די יונגע משפּחה אָלניאַנסקי איז אין גיכן דערגאַנגען צום אױספֿיר, אַז פֿאַרן ייִדישן המשך דאַרף מען האָבן װעלטלעכע קינדערביכער אױף ייִדיש. און דאָס פּאָרפֿאָלק איז ניט געזעסן מיט פֿאַרלײגטע הענט, נאָר זיך טאַקע גענומען צו דער אַרבעט.
שלום בערגער האָט דעמאָלט רעצענזירט זײערע ביכער פֿאַרן פֿאָרװערטס און אַראָפּגעריסן צװײ פֿון זײ. אָלניאַנסקי האָט זיך אָפּגערופֿן דערױף, אױך אינעם פֿאָרװערטס, מיט טענות קעגן „אַן עליטיזם װאָס שטײט תּמיד אין וועג דעם לעבעדיקן, הײַנטצײַטיקן ייִדיש.“ בערגער האָט געהאַלטן אַז אָלניאַנסקיס ביכער לײענען זיך טײל מאָל „װי אַ ראָבאָט װאָלט זײ אָנגעשריבן“. אױף דעם האָט אָלניאַנסקי געענטפֿערט — מיט אַ ראָמאַן װעגן אַ ייִדישיסט װאָס הײסט קאָליאַ ראָבאָטסקי.
בשעת װען די ערשטע צװײ רעפֿעראַטן האָט מען געהאַלטן אױף ענגליש, איז דער דריטער און לעצטער געװען — אױף פֿלעמיש, דער סאָרט האָלענדיש װאָס מע רעדט אין צפֿון־בעלגיע. דאָס האָט דערצײלט נפֿתּלי מאָסקאָװיטש, אַ חסיד פֿון אַנטװערפּן, װעגן זײַן אַרבעט װי אַן עצה־געבער אין שפּראַך־ענינים פֿאַר דער נעטפֿליקס־סעריע „רױע דימענטן“.
אין דער אמתן האָט מאָסקאָװיטש ניט נאָר געלערנט הילכות אױסשפּראַך, נאָר אױך ייִדישע פֿירונגען: װאָס טוט אַ שטײגער אַ פֿרומער ייִד װען ער כאַפּט זיך אױף פֿון שלאָף? װי אַזױ זאָגט מען מודה־אַני און גיסט אָפּ נעגל־װאַסער? װי אַזױ פֿירט זיך אַ חסידיש פּאָרפֿאָלק צװישן זיך?
װאָס שײך אַרױסרעד, האָט ער געשילדערט דעם גאַנג פֿון לימוד: צו ערשט דאַרף דער אַקטיאָר דאָך פֿאַרשטײן און קענען זאָגן די װערטער: װאָס — הערט — זיך, נאָר לסוף עס אַרױסרעדן: „װאָסערצאַך?“
אַז מע האָט געדאַרפֿט בראָקן פּסוקים לשון־קודש, האָט מאָסקאָװיטש זיך אָבער אַ מאָל מיאש געװען פֿונעם אױסלערנען זײַנע תּלמידים דעם אַרױסרעד. אײַנחזרן דעם פּיוט „אשת־חיל“ װאָלט זײ נאָך אַלעמען אָנגעקומען צו שװער. איז װאָס װעט מען טאָן אַז אַ משפּחה זעצט זיך אַװעק בײַם שבתדיקן טיש פֿרײַטיק־צו־נאַכט, און אַלע מאַנסבילן אין אײנעם דאַרפֿן זינגען אָט דעם לױבגעזאַנג לכּבֿוד דער ייִדישער פֿרױ?
צום סוף האָט מען רעקאָרדירט מאָסקאָװיטשן גופֿא עטלעכע מאָל װי ער זינגט אױס דעם ניגון, אַזױ אַז ס׳זאָל פֿאָרט קלינגען כּאילו דאָס זינגט אַ גאַנץ געזעמל מענערשע שטימען. װעגן אַזעלכע און אַנדערע פּרטים פֿון הינטער די קוליסן האָט מען זיך געקענט דערװיסן פֿון מאָסקאָװיטשן, װאָס אַרבעט אַנדערש װי אַ העברעיִש־לערער.
די אָרגאַניזאַטאָרן האָט זיך אַזױ אַרום אײַנגעגעבן אײַנצוסדרן אַ נאָכמיטאָג לעקציעס װאָס האָבן געקענט פֿאַראינטערעסירן סײַ אַקאַדעמישע פֿאָרשער־מבֿינים און סײַ דעם פּראָסטן, װײניקער באַהאַװנטן עולם. אַחוץ דעם איז דאָס אױך געװען אַ שײנע געלעגנהײט פֿאַר ייִדישיסטן זיך צונױפֿצוטרעפֿן און צו כאַפּן אַ שמועס אױף ייִדיש־לשון. דורך דעם האָט די ייִדישע שפּראַך גופֿא אױך געקראָגן אַ תּיקון אױף אָט דער לעבעדיקער אונטערנעמונג.
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A New Jersey congregation was already falling apart. Then came Oct 7.
Partly Strong, Partly Broken
By Nathaniel Popkin
New Door Books, $19.95, 249 pages
When Rabbi Adinah Feld returns to her reform congregation in New Jersey after a nearly week-long trip to Israel, she discovers two crises have occurred in her absence: The roof of the synagogue has collapsed after a heavy storm and the Muslim teenager, Fami, who helps clean the shul is in the hospital after a savage attack by a local white supremacist.
Things only further devolve from here in Partly Strong, Partly Broken, a new novel from author and former Wall Street Journal critic Nathaniel Popkin. The fictional synagogue of Temple Beth Israel fractures — metaphorically and physically — in the month leading up to the Oct. 7 Hamas attack.
Feld is presented as the archetypal neo-liberal American rabbi. Her trip to Israel, we quickly learn, consisted of participating in the pro-democracy protests and pining for her Palestinian ex-girlfriend, whom she first met nearly two decades earlier while living in Israel. Once she’s home, her attention is split between trying to fix the storm-damaged roof, respond to the attack, and finally launch the Hebrew learning center she’s been advocating for the synagogue to have for years.
But at every turn there’s a challenge: The incompetent and combative building manager can’t seem to get the roof fixed; some congregants believe Feld’s concern for Fami is proof she cares more about Muslims than Jews; a wealthy board member wants his name on the Hebrew center and his project manager in charge — a woman who takes personal offense when Feld invites the local Imam to join tashlich.
Many readers will probably see their own congregation in the fictional Temple Beth Israel, especially if they’ve served on a synagogue’s board or committee. But for those who have avoided seeing behind the administrative curtain of a synagogue, the complex power dynamics might come as a shock.
Popkin deftly captures a stark truth: The attack on Oct. 7 and the subsequent war didn’t create the divisions over Israel in the Jewish community; it exposed tensions that were already there. This reality, combined with a prophecy from the Book of Daniel — Daniel tells Babylonian King Nebuchadnezzar that his dream of a statue with feet made of iron and clay reveal that the foundations of his kingdom were “partly strong, and partly broken.” — is the inspiration for the book’s title.
For some, the fact that Jews have always been divided over Israel may not seem like a particularly insightful observation. But after Oct. 7, there was a lot of shock and outrage among the Jewish community at the wide range of opinions in their communities. As Partly Strong shows, when synagogues avoid talking about Israel to mitigate conflict (or please wealthy donors, as Feld does in the book), they don’t prevent conflict — they just make disagreements and tough discussions about Israel taboo and volatile.
In Popkin’s novel, the conflict comes to a head less than a week before Oct. 7 at a whiskey-fueled book talk where a Jewish comparative literature professor presents his claims about understanding the role of epigenetics and inherited trauma in the book of Genesis. The conversation quickly turns towards trauma among Israelis and Palestinians — a subject the drunken congregants are not prepared to discuss civilly.
As startlingly realistic as Popkin’s story is, the strong narrative occasionally feels disrupted by verbose, overexplanatory writing (“She’d better go find Fami right away and give her the silver chain with the hamesh pendant, the palm-shaped amulet of protection that is usually called by its Arabic name, hamsa, and sometimes the hand of Fatima, for the daughter of Mohammed”) and a surfeit of subplots. At one point, readers are pulled away from the main story for a brief and sappy sex scene between two teenage Hebrew school instructors on a faux polar bear rug (the girl is described as “dessert” and the boy is described as an “Olympic eater”). While it was impressive to see what seemed like half of my home congregation represented, at some point it becomes too much to keep track of all the characters, big or small, and all their issues.
We don’t actually see how the characters respond to Oct. 7 — the book ends with a small group of them huddled together watching the first reports of the attack on a television. We’re left to imagine how Feld and her congregation will handle the aftermath — although readers have probably already lived it themselves.
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