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Jewish marriage rites are robust. Now a rabbi is innovating rituals for Jews who divorce.
(J. The Jewish News of Northern California via JTA) — For Lyssa Jaye, throwing the wood chips into the Tuolumne River felt in many ways familiar to the tashlich ritual performed on Rosh Hashanah. But rather than casting off her sins, she was tossing away feelings: shame, resentment, anger.
They were the emotions that had taken residence inside Jaye since her divorce eight years ago, along with a sense of failure. And she had come to a Jewish retreat to rid herself of them.
“I’ve been carrying around these feelings for years now,” Jaye said. “I have a completely different life now, and I needed to let them go.”
Jaye was taking part in Divorce & Discovery: A Jewish Healing Retreat, the first-ever gathering in a series conceived by Rabbi Deborah Newbrun as part of her training, held this month at Camp Tawonga in the Bay Area.
One of the requirements at the Pluralistic Rabbinical Seminary, where Newbrun was ordained last year in the first graduating class, “was that each of us had to do an innovation, or something that didn’t exist before,” she said.
Newbrun, who directed Camp Tawonga for more than two decades, has been recognized for innovative programming for such achievements as initiating Tawonga’s LGBT family camp and founding its wilderness department. She even won a prestigious 2018 Covenant Award for Jewish educators. But as she started thinking about how to fulfill the seminary requirement, her first thought was, “I don’t have any ideas left in me.”
Then she began reflecting back on her divorce years earlier. She remembered how she had approached numerous rabbis and colleagues in search of Jewish support around the grief she felt. And how they all came up empty-handed.
That’s when she realized: “I can put together something meaningful and helpful for people going through divorce.”
From the moment participants arrived at Camp Tawonga near Yosemite, they knew this would be no ordinary Jewish retreat. At the opening event, all of the facilitators, several clergy members and a therapist shared their own divorce stories, “to set the standard and normalize vulnerability, transparent sharing and establish that we all know what it’s like to have a marriage end,” Newbrun said.
Most participants were from the Bay Area, with a handful from farther afield. They were in different life stages, from those in their 30s dealing with custody battles over young children, to empty nesters in their 60s. Some had separated from their partners years ago, while others had gone their separate ways more recently. Some split amicably; a good many did not. But all had come up against a lack of Jewish resources or support when navigating this major life passage.
Rabbi Deborah Newbrun, the founder of Divorce and Discovery at the recent weekend. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Jaye said she left no stone unturned in seeking out support, an experience Newbrun said she heard echoed by many participants. Jaye attended a retreat at a local meditation center. She read self-help books. She joined a support group for divorcees. She went to therapy.
And while they all helped in different ways, none was specifically Jewish.
“I knew I needed some kind of spiritual way forward,” she said. “I needed to do this in my own language, with my own people.”
Even though the retreat came nearly a decade years after Jaye’s divorce, “it was profound. It felt like coming home, and that this is what I needed all along. This model could be extremely powerful. The rituals we did could be taught in rabbinical schools or to Jewish educators so it’s not just ‘sign this get and goodbye,’” she said, referring to the Jewish divorce document.
Rather than create new rituals, Newbrun and her facilitators took familiar Jewish rituals and retooled them.
The tashlich ritual, led by Newbrun and Maggid Jhos Singer, had a call-and-response portion, and participants also could call out what they personally wanted to cast off. “One person ‘tashliched’ their wedding ring into the river and felt it was such a perfect place to let it go!” said Newbrun.
An optional immersion in the Tuolumne River followed. Jaye, who years ago went to the mikvah alone, with only the attendant there for support, said there was no comparison with how much more healing it felt performing the ritual in community.
A session on sitting shiva for one’s marriage, led by Rabbi Sue Reinhold, allowed participants to share and mourn the loss of what they missed most about being married. That resonated for Robyn Lieberman, who does not attend synagogue services but went to every session at the retreat on innovating Jewish rituals.
“I did need to mourn what I’m losing,” said Lieberman, who had been married to an Israeli. “We had a very public, open house around Jewish religion, and a constant Israeli identity, which fulfilled my Jewish needs.”
Rabbi Jennie Chabon of Congregation B’nai Tikvah in Walnut Creek reflected on how much time she has spent with couples preparing for their wedding day, both in premarital counseling and in planning the event, and on how many marriage-related topics are covered in rabbinical school.
“And when it comes to divorce? Nothing,” Chabon said. “We’re all out here on our own trying to figure out how to wander through it.”
She was tasked with creating a havdalah ceremony with a divorce theme, in which she reimagined the wine, spices and flame typically used to mark a division between Shabbat and the rest of the week.
“There’s a fire that burns within each of us, and that flame doesn’t go out,” said Chabon, 47. “When you’re married for a long time, your identity, energy and spirit is so woven into that of another.” Her ritual was meant to affirm that “you are on fire just as you are, and you’re a blessing as an individual in the world. You don’t need a partnership or family to be whole.”
Even the Shabbat Torah service was on theme.
Rabbi Jennie Chabon reads from the Torah during a service at the Divorce and Discovery retreat. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Rather than focusing on Noah’s emergence from the ark after the flood, Chabon spoke about a lesser-known section of the week’s Torah portion, in which Noah builds a fire and offers a sacrifice to God. But if the entire earth was drenched from the flood, Chabon asked, what did he burn?
“The answer is he must have burned the ark,” Chabon said in recalling her talk at the retreat. “What does that mean for people going through this incredibly painful and tender time in their lives, when what was once a safe container and secure and protected them, they have to burn it down in order to start life anew?
“This is a perfect rebirth metaphor. But what’s being birthed is a new self and a new identity in the world as a single person,” Chabon said. “You have to release and let go of what was to make room for the blessing for who you’re going to become.”
At a ritual “hackathon” workshop presented by Newbrun, participants suggested standing during Kaddish at synagogue to mourn their marriages, and offering their children a Friday night blessing that they are whole whether they are at either parent’s home.
Not all of the sessions centered on Jewish ritual. In a session on the Japanese art of kintsugi, or mending broken pottery, attendees made vessels whose cracks they fixed with putty, symbolizing that beauty can be found in imperfection. Many danced in a Saturday-night silent disco.
Everyone was assigned to a small group, or havurah, that they met with daily, so they could establish deeper connections within the larger cohort.
“To have gone through some of these practices was very meaningful to me,” said Lieberman. “It’s not like I put a seal on my marriage and wrapped it up in a bow and put it behind me, but it was a nice catharsis for completing a transition that I’ve been very thoughtful about.”
Newbrun aims to recreate the retreat in communities around the country. Both Jaye and Lieberman said they found value in being in community with people “who get it,” without the judgment they often face.
“I was a little skeptical that all I’d have in common with people was that we were Jewish and divorced, and that that wouldn’t be enough for me to form a relationship,” said Lieberman. “But having the willingness to talk about it and explore it did open up a lot of very vulnerable conversations. The expert facilitation really made us think about the fact that divorce is not about your paper [certificate], it’s about reexamining the direction of your life and who you want to be.”
A version of this piece originally ran in J. The Jewish News of Northern California, and is reprinted with permission.
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Netanyahu says he is formally seeking the pardon Trump requested on his behalf
(JTA) — Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is formally seeking a preemptive pardon of the criminal charges he has long faced, saying in a video address ending his prosecution was needed to bring unity to a divided nation.
“I am certain, as are many others in the nation, that an immediate end to the trial would greatly help lower the flames and promote broad reconciliation — something our country desperately needs,” Netanyahu said in the speech on Sunday as his attorneys filed a petition with Israeli President Isaac Herzog, who is responsible for granting pardons.
Netanyahu’s speech comes weeks after U.S. President Donald Trump wrote to Herzog advocating a pardon, which Herzog said he could not consider because Israeli law requires the accused or his family to make the request.
Netanyahu has three legal cases open against him, on charges of fraud, bribery and breach of trust. They relate to allegations that he accepted lavish gifts in exchange for political favors and that he used his position to secure positive media coverage. The trial in the cases began in 2020 and has proceeded in fits and starts, with hearings routinely canceled as Netanyahu attends to Israel’s affairs, including the multi-front war and a protest movement that Netanyahu and his allies allege has been stoked through foreign interference.
In his speech, Netanyahu did not acknowledge guilt and said, as he long has contended, that the charges against him were political in nature. He alleged that crimes had been committed in the case against him. He also cited Trump’s advocacy on his behalf.
“President Trump called for an immediate end to the trial so that, together with him, I could advance even more vigorously the vital interests shared by Israel and the United States, within a time window that may never return,” Netanyahu said.
Herzog’s office said it would consider the pardon request in accordance with Israeli law. Netanyahu’s critics lambasted the request, saying it amounted to another assault on country’s legal norms by the prime minister, whose right-wing government has led an effort to overhaul the judiciary.
“I call on President Herzog: You cannot grant Netanyahu a pardon without an admission of guilt, an expression of remorse, and an immediate withdrawal from political life,” tweeted opposition leader Yair Lapid while making a video address of his own.
Netanyahu’s request comes as the country nears elections that must take place within the next year. Netanyahu was reelected most recently in 2022, after the charges against him were in place.
A previous prime minister who faced legal charges, Ehud Olmert, resigned before being charged and requested a pardon only after being convicted and jailed.
The post Netanyahu says he is formally seeking the pardon Trump requested on his behalf appeared first on The Forward.
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After facing criticism, Dublin tables proposal to rename Herzog Park — for now
(JTA) — A proposal to rename a Dublin park that honors one of Ireland’s most famous Jewish emigres has been tabled following criticism from the Israeli president and the Irish prime minister.
But the bid to rename Herzog Park could be revived if the Dublin City Council’s naming committee follows a different procedure, the council’s chief executive said in a statement on Sunday, a day before the planned vote.
The park was renamed in 1995 for Chaim Herzog, the son of the first Irish chief rabbi who became Israel’s sixth president in 1983, seven years after famously ripping up a United Nations resolution that declared “Zionism as Racism.” His son, Isaac Herzog, is the president of Israel today.
Pro-Palestinian activists called for the park to be stripped of the Herzog name during the Israel-Hamas war in Gaza, citing Chaim Herzog’s role as a prominent defender of Zionism. Last year, activists covered all references to the Herzog family at the park with Palestinian flags and added placards with the name “Hind Rajab Park,” referring to the 6-year-old Gaza girl killed during the war who has become a symbol of pro-Palestinian advocacy.
The campaign came amid staunch pro-Palestinian sentiment in Ireland, where Israel recently shuttered its Dublin embassy, citing “antisemitic rhetoric of the Irish government,” including its recognition of an independent Palestinian state and its support for anti-Israel resolutions in international bodies during the war in Gaza.
Isaac Herzog’s office had expressed concern about the renaming proposal, saying that it believed the park’s new name would be “Free Palestine.” It said in a statement on Saturday that stripping the Herzog name from the park would harm “the unique expression of the historical connection between the Irish and Jewish peoples” and undermine the legacy of Chaim Herzog, whose father supported Irish independence and who himself fought in the British Army during World War II.
“Removing the Herzog name, if it happens, would be a shameful and disgraceful move,” the statement said. “We hope that the legacy of a figure at the forefront of establishing the relations between Israel and Ireland, and the fight against antisemitism and tyranny, will still get the respect it deserves today.”
On Sunday, Ireland’s prime minister, Micheál Martin, stepped in, condemning the renaming proposal and calling for its withdrawal.
“The proposal would erase the distinctive and rich contribution to Irish life of the Jewish community over many decades, including actual participation in the Irish War of Independence and the emerging state,” he said in a statement. “This proposal is a denial of our history and will without a doubt be seen as antisemitic. It is overtly divisive and wrong.”
Later in the day, reports emerged that the council was indeed withdrawing the proposal, which had by then drawn condemnation from Jewish groups around the world as well. In a statement, the council’s chief executive, Richard Shakespeare, confirmed that the proposal would not come up for a vote at Monday’s meeting.
Shakespeare said the council’s commemorations and naming committee had not followed the “statutory procedures” required for a “secret ballot” to approve a renaming and that he would be sending the proposal back to the committee for reconsideration. He offered an apology without addressing the content of the criticism surrounding the proposal.
“On behalf of the Executive of the City Council, I wish to apologise for this administrative oversight,” Shakespeare said. “A detailed review of the administrative mis-steps will now be undertaken and a report furnished to the Lord Mayor and Councillors.”
Herzog Park is located in a neighborhood of Dublin that is home to other symbols of the city’s bygone Jewish past. It sits near the intersection of Zion Road and Orwell Road and is located a short walk from the city’s progressive synagogue, Orthodox synagogue and a new Chabad center, which recently opened Ireland’s first kosher restaurant in decades to acclaim from both Jewish and non-Jewish diners.
The City Council is also involved in a proposal to build apartments on the site of the Orthodox synagogue, which the Jewish community put up for sale several years ago amid what local Jewish leaders said was a shift toward secularism among the city’s Jews.
“Herzog Park is more than a name on a sign. For the neighbouring Jewish families and schools, it is a place filled with memory, and a quiet reminder that our community has deep roots in Dublin,” Yoni Wieder, who was inaugurated as Ireland’s chief rabbi last year, said in a statement.
“When the park was named in honour of Chaim Herzog in 1995, it was a recognition not just of one man, but a chapter of shared Irish-Jewish history. That history has not changed, and it cannot be undone by motions or votes,” Wieder said. “The Jewish story in Ireland deserves to be acknowledged, not quietly removed.”
The post After facing criticism, Dublin tables proposal to rename Herzog Park — for now appeared first on The Forward.
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Palestinian-American teen from Florida freed from Israeli detention after 9 months
(JTA) — A Palestinian-American teenager was freed last week after nine months in an Israeli detention facility, following advocacy for his release by 27 Democratic lawmakers.
Mohammed Ibrahim, 16, of Palm Bay, Florida, was arrested in February while visiting his family in the West Bank. Israeli officials said he had thrown rocks at Israeli settlers, an allegation that Ibrahim and the Council on American-Islamic Relations denied.
Ibrahim initially confessed to throwing the rocks, but later said in an affidavit that he had confessed out of “sheer fear” after he claimed that the “interrogator threatened that if I did not comply, he would instruct the soldiers to beat me,” according to the Associated Press. Israeli law considers stone-throwing a serious offense punishable by up to 20 years in prison.
After a recent hearing in his case was delayed, he was released on Thursday. His family told the BBC that he had lost weight and was suffering from conditions sustained during his detention.
Ibrahim’s detention was first reported by the Guardian in July after his cousin, 20-year-old Palestinian-American Sayfollah Musallet, was killed during a confrontation with Israeli settlers in the West Bank.
The detention and killing took place amid flaring tensions in the West Bank, including sustained attacks by Israeli settlers on Palestinian villages and farmers, that U.S. Secretary of State Marco Rubio has denounced.
In October, a group of 27 Democratic lawmakers signed onto a letter urging Rubio to pressure the Israeli government to release Ibrahim.
“We write with grave concern regarding the detention without trial of Mohammed Zaher Ibrahim. Mohammed is a U.S. citizen from Florida who was reportedly blindfolded, handcuffed, and arrested on February 16th, 2025 when Israeli forces reportedly entered his family home in al-Mazra’a ash-Sharqiya at 3 a.m.,” the letter read. Some of the lawmakers called attention to Ibrahim’s cause subsequently, as well.
In a statement to the BBC, the state department said it was providing consular support to Ibrahim’s family, adding that “the Trump Administration has no higher priority than the safety and security of US citizens.”
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