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Jewish marriage rites are robust. Now a rabbi is innovating rituals for Jews who divorce.
(J. The Jewish News of Northern California via JTA) — For Lyssa Jaye, throwing the wood chips into the Tuolumne River felt in many ways familiar to the tashlich ritual performed on Rosh Hashanah. But rather than casting off her sins, she was tossing away feelings: shame, resentment, anger.
They were the emotions that had taken residence inside Jaye since her divorce eight years ago, along with a sense of failure. And she had come to a Jewish retreat to rid herself of them.
“I’ve been carrying around these feelings for years now,” Jaye said. “I have a completely different life now, and I needed to let them go.”
Jaye was taking part in Divorce & Discovery: A Jewish Healing Retreat, the first-ever gathering in a series conceived by Rabbi Deborah Newbrun as part of her training, held this month at Camp Tawonga in the Bay Area.
One of the requirements at the Pluralistic Rabbinical Seminary, where Newbrun was ordained last year in the first graduating class, “was that each of us had to do an innovation, or something that didn’t exist before,” she said.
Newbrun, who directed Camp Tawonga for more than two decades, has been recognized for innovative programming for such achievements as initiating Tawonga’s LGBT family camp and founding its wilderness department. She even won a prestigious 2018 Covenant Award for Jewish educators. But as she started thinking about how to fulfill the seminary requirement, her first thought was, “I don’t have any ideas left in me.”
Then she began reflecting back on her divorce years earlier. She remembered how she had approached numerous rabbis and colleagues in search of Jewish support around the grief she felt. And how they all came up empty-handed.
That’s when she realized: “I can put together something meaningful and helpful for people going through divorce.”
From the moment participants arrived at Camp Tawonga near Yosemite, they knew this would be no ordinary Jewish retreat. At the opening event, all of the facilitators, several clergy members and a therapist shared their own divorce stories, “to set the standard and normalize vulnerability, transparent sharing and establish that we all know what it’s like to have a marriage end,” Newbrun said.
Most participants were from the Bay Area, with a handful from farther afield. They were in different life stages, from those in their 30s dealing with custody battles over young children, to empty nesters in their 60s. Some had separated from their partners years ago, while others had gone their separate ways more recently. Some split amicably; a good many did not. But all had come up against a lack of Jewish resources or support when navigating this major life passage.
Rabbi Deborah Newbrun, the founder of Divorce and Discovery at the recent weekend. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Jaye said she left no stone unturned in seeking out support, an experience Newbrun said she heard echoed by many participants. Jaye attended a retreat at a local meditation center. She read self-help books. She joined a support group for divorcees. She went to therapy.
And while they all helped in different ways, none was specifically Jewish.
“I knew I needed some kind of spiritual way forward,” she said. “I needed to do this in my own language, with my own people.”
Even though the retreat came nearly a decade years after Jaye’s divorce, “it was profound. It felt like coming home, and that this is what I needed all along. This model could be extremely powerful. The rituals we did could be taught in rabbinical schools or to Jewish educators so it’s not just ‘sign this get and goodbye,’” she said, referring to the Jewish divorce document.
Rather than create new rituals, Newbrun and her facilitators took familiar Jewish rituals and retooled them.
The tashlich ritual, led by Newbrun and Maggid Jhos Singer, had a call-and-response portion, and participants also could call out what they personally wanted to cast off. “One person ‘tashliched’ their wedding ring into the river and felt it was such a perfect place to let it go!” said Newbrun.
An optional immersion in the Tuolumne River followed. Jaye, who years ago went to the mikvah alone, with only the attendant there for support, said there was no comparison with how much more healing it felt performing the ritual in community.
A session on sitting shiva for one’s marriage, led by Rabbi Sue Reinhold, allowed participants to share and mourn the loss of what they missed most about being married. That resonated for Robyn Lieberman, who does not attend synagogue services but went to every session at the retreat on innovating Jewish rituals.
“I did need to mourn what I’m losing,” said Lieberman, who had been married to an Israeli. “We had a very public, open house around Jewish religion, and a constant Israeli identity, which fulfilled my Jewish needs.”
Rabbi Jennie Chabon of Congregation B’nai Tikvah in Walnut Creek reflected on how much time she has spent with couples preparing for their wedding day, both in premarital counseling and in planning the event, and on how many marriage-related topics are covered in rabbinical school.
“And when it comes to divorce? Nothing,” Chabon said. “We’re all out here on our own trying to figure out how to wander through it.”
She was tasked with creating a havdalah ceremony with a divorce theme, in which she reimagined the wine, spices and flame typically used to mark a division between Shabbat and the rest of the week.
“There’s a fire that burns within each of us, and that flame doesn’t go out,” said Chabon, 47. “When you’re married for a long time, your identity, energy and spirit is so woven into that of another.” Her ritual was meant to affirm that “you are on fire just as you are, and you’re a blessing as an individual in the world. You don’t need a partnership or family to be whole.”
Even the Shabbat Torah service was on theme.
Rabbi Jennie Chabon reads from the Torah during a service at the Divorce and Discovery retreat. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Rather than focusing on Noah’s emergence from the ark after the flood, Chabon spoke about a lesser-known section of the week’s Torah portion, in which Noah builds a fire and offers a sacrifice to God. But if the entire earth was drenched from the flood, Chabon asked, what did he burn?
“The answer is he must have burned the ark,” Chabon said in recalling her talk at the retreat. “What does that mean for people going through this incredibly painful and tender time in their lives, when what was once a safe container and secure and protected them, they have to burn it down in order to start life anew?
“This is a perfect rebirth metaphor. But what’s being birthed is a new self and a new identity in the world as a single person,” Chabon said. “You have to release and let go of what was to make room for the blessing for who you’re going to become.”
At a ritual “hackathon” workshop presented by Newbrun, participants suggested standing during Kaddish at synagogue to mourn their marriages, and offering their children a Friday night blessing that they are whole whether they are at either parent’s home.
Not all of the sessions centered on Jewish ritual. In a session on the Japanese art of kintsugi, or mending broken pottery, attendees made vessels whose cracks they fixed with putty, symbolizing that beauty can be found in imperfection. Many danced in a Saturday-night silent disco.
Everyone was assigned to a small group, or havurah, that they met with daily, so they could establish deeper connections within the larger cohort.
“To have gone through some of these practices was very meaningful to me,” said Lieberman. “It’s not like I put a seal on my marriage and wrapped it up in a bow and put it behind me, but it was a nice catharsis for completing a transition that I’ve been very thoughtful about.”
Newbrun aims to recreate the retreat in communities around the country. Both Jaye and Lieberman said they found value in being in community with people “who get it,” without the judgment they often face.
“I was a little skeptical that all I’d have in common with people was that we were Jewish and divorced, and that that wouldn’t be enough for me to form a relationship,” said Lieberman. “But having the willingness to talk about it and explore it did open up a lot of very vulnerable conversations. The expert facilitation really made us think about the fact that divorce is not about your paper [certificate], it’s about reexamining the direction of your life and who you want to be.”
A version of this piece originally ran in J. The Jewish News of Northern California, and is reprinted with permission.
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Philadelphia Jewish leaders encouraged by counter-response to ‘boycott bike ride’
(JTA) — When the Jewish Federation of Greater Philadelphia first got wind of a planned “boycott bike ride” of six Jewish- and Israeli-owned restaurants scheduled for Sunday, Nov. 8, its CEO wondered if the result would be “a small pebble” or “a big boulder.”
The protest ultimately drew some 300 bikers. But thanks to communal organizing among dozens of Jewish, pro-Israel and interfaith groups, it was met with an estimated 200 counter-protesters — plus hundreds more who turned up, waiting in hours-long lines, to patronize the affected businesses.
“I honestly had a hard time hearing what the boycotters were saying,” Michael Balaban, the federation head, told the Jewish Telegraphic Agency the day after the protests. They were drowned out, he said, by counter-demonstrators singing Israeli songs.
The restaurants hardly felt any effects from a boycott, Balaban said — all of them sold out of their inventory. At one shop, the mac-and-cheese kiosk Mac Mart, a visitor offered to buy the open box of baking soda its proprietor kept to eliminate pantry odors.
“What was supposed to be a boycott of Jewish businesses turned into a food festival of Jewish businesses,” Balaban said. “I had several people say, ‘I feel safe walking as a Jew today’.”
A left-wing group called Philly Bike On Your Left had organized the event. Its flyer proclaimed, “No business for Zionists!” with the names of six local Jewish-owned restaurants listed with red “No” signs drawn through them. The planned date fell just before the 88th anniversary of Kristallnacht, the “Night of Broken Glass” targeting Jewish businesses and homes in Nazi-occupied Europe, which protest organizers have said was unintentional.
Some of the targeted business owners, including acclaimed Israeli restaurateur Michael Solomonov, had donated to causes including United Hatzalah, the Israeli first responder organization. Others had simply posted online that they were Zionists. Allan Domb, the owner of Schlesinger’s Deli, told the local CBS affiliate that he believed his business was on the list because he had donated to the local federation after the Oct. 7, 2023, Hamas attacks in Israel.
In its rhetoric and conflation of Jewish- and Israeli-owned businesses with the state of Israel, the bike boycott seemed like a perfect storm of the biggest Jewish concerns with pro-Palestinian protests. Yet the sheer audacity of the boycott, which Balaban compared to “the proverbial person poking you in the back over and over again,” spurred a broad show of force from Jews and their allies to fight back.
“A real line was crossed here,” he said. “You want to boycott something going on in Israel, we’re not that far from DC or New York. Go to an embassy, go to a consulate. But to think that someone selling tahini milkshakes or macaroni and cheese has a red phone to the prime minister, that’s just silliness.”
Local authorities speaking to the Philadelphia Inquirer said that three people were arrested and two police officers suffered minor injuries.
Local elected officials also spoke out strongly against the ride, including Philadelphia District Attorney Larry Krasner, a favorite of the progressive movement.
“There is widespread perception that this action is antisemitic,” Krasner, whose father was Jewish, said in a video he filmed from his car prior to the event. “That perception is real.” He cited the timing, the targets and the rhetoric around the event as his reasons for making the determination.
Krasner and Lori Shapiro, Pennsylvania’s first lady and wife of Jewish Democratic Gov. Josh Shapiro, joined state lawmakers who attended a “solidarity lunch” with some of the targeted businesses days prior to the boycott. The Philadelphia Jewish Community Relations Council had organized the event.
On social media following the protests, Gov. Shapiro called the boycott “blatant antisemitic targeting of Jewish-owned restaurants on the anniversary of Kristallnacht,” and said local support of the businesses “prove once again that hate has no place in our Commonwealth.” Pennsylvania Sens. John Fetterman, a pro-Israel Democrat, and Dave McCormick, a Republican, had also condemned the ride.
Among the groups that did support the ride were Faculty for Justice in Palestine chapters at Temple University and the University of Pennsylvania; the local Students for Justice in Palestine chapter; a pro-Palestinian group of Temple law students; and Writers Against the War on Gaza, a literary activist group that previously helped upend leadership at the free-speech organization PEN America over Israel-related statements and actions.
The local Democratic Socialists of America chapter, which had initially promoted the event, said in a statement on Sunday that it “did not and does not endorse the bike ride on Sunday, 11/8.” But the Philly DSA’s lengthy statement went on to accuse the event’s critics of “political repression of anti-Zionism” orchestrated by “organized Zionist lobbying groups.”
Ahmed Moor, a Palestinian writer who on Monday announced his intent to challenge Fetterman for the Democratic nomination in 2028, wrote on X on Saturday that he had spoken to Jewish women on both sides of the protest. Without taking a side, Moor concluded, “Sometimes being a leader means turning the temperature down.”
Though some of the bikers who spoke to media identified themselves as Jewish, local Jewish pro-Palestinian groups were absent from the bike ride’s list of co-sponsors. Neither the Philadelphia chapters of Jewish Voice for Peace nor IfNotNow commented on the ride on their official social media pages, and representatives from both groups did not return JTA requests for comment.
The Nexus Project, an antisemitism watchdog that has criticized what it says is Jewish communal overreach in describing some criticism of Israel as antisemitic, also criticized the ride and its organizers.
“When ‘Zionist’ can cover almost any Jew who has ever expressed even a modicum of sympathy or support for Israel, Jewish business owners are facing a test no one else does: disavow Israel or lose your livelihood,” a statement from the group reads, adding that the organizing groups’ rhetoric “has also crossed the line.”
The Prayers for Peace Alliance, an interfaith pro-Palestinian group in Philadelphia that includes Jews, criticized the boycott in its own statement on Saturday.
“To be effective, boycotts must be targeted toward companies with the greatest complicity in injustice,” the group said. The planned ride, they added, “does not align with the priorities of the anti-genocide and anti-occupation movement.” They added, “The decision to target only Jewish-owned businesses threatens to undermine trust within this broad, intersectional movement, which includes many American Jews.”
Early on, Balaban said, the federation briefly wondered if they should avoid giving the protests much oxygen. They changed their minds after last week’s midterm elections, which Democrats dominated and which, in his mind, elevated candidates who “use ‘Zionist’ as a code word.” He did not specify any.
“Seeing individuals who use anti-Israel and anti-Jewish as part of their platform come into the fold, it was time for us to let loose and push back,” he said.
Philly Bike On Your Left is also planning a follow-up bike protest for this coming Sunday, named “Great Ride of Return,” a nod to the Palestinian right of return. The group had promoted the follow-up ride on social media before the first one took place.
Balaban knows more is coming; he says they’ll be ready. “We know that they’ll be out again, and we’ll be out again.”
This article originally appeared on JTA.org.
The post Philadelphia Jewish leaders encouraged by counter-response to ‘boycott bike ride’ appeared first on The Forward.
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Palestinian-American to challenge John Fetterman for Senate seat in 2028
(JTA) — Ahmed Moor, a Palestinian-American writer who has worked with anti-Zionists, is the first Democrat to challenge Pennsylvania Sen. John Fetterman in the 2028 primary.
Fetterman, who has faced sharp criticism from within the Democratic Party for his staunch support for Israel’s military campaign in Gaza, has yet to announce whether he plans to run in 2028. A defeat or retirement would remove one of the Democratic caucus’s most pro-Israel voices.
Moor, 42, enters the playing field with radically different positions on Israel, and on foreign policy in general, from those Fetterman has promoted. Claiming that the United States “funds wars based on corruption and lies and has turned its back on its own people,” Moor pledged on his campaign website to ensure “this never happens again.”
Moor, born in Gaza, moved as a child to Philadelphia, where he earned his undergraduate degree from the University of Pennsylvania. He completed a master’s degree in public policy from Harvard. He switched from finance to journalism, reporting in Beirut and Egypt for The Guardian and other outlets, and co-editing the book “After Zionism: One State for Israel and Palestine.” He also spent many years in Jordan, where he launched a peer-to-peer lending organization, before moving back to Philadelphia in 2021.
“A few years ago my birthplace was turned to rubble in a genocide funded by our tax dollars,” Moor stated, saying that this has occurred “with the support of politicians on both sides of the aisle who can’t find money for transit or removing asbestos from our schools.”
Moor, who has served on the Philadelphia Democratic City Committee, has never held public office. He says he is determined to address corruption, affordability, foreign policy and constitutional authority, according to The Philadelphia Inquirer, which first reported his candidacy.
Moor told the Inquirer that he was “not really running against Fetterman” but instead “running for the rule of law.” He acknowledged that he would face an “uphill battle” against Fetterman, who took office in January 2023.
Fetterman has irked some fellow Democrats by siding with Republicans on numerous issues, especially on Israel. He has also drawn praise from the pro-Israel community and Israel’s leadership. With Democrats securing a Senate majority of at least 54 seats, including two independents who caucus with the party, Democratic leadership will be less dependent on Fetterman’s vote when the new Congress convenes in January.
This article originally appeared on JTA.org.
The post Palestinian-American to challenge John Fetterman for Senate seat in 2028 appeared first on The Forward.
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Northwestern launches civil rights investigation into club that banned pro-Israel group from its food festival
Northwestern University’s Office of Civil Rights is investigating a club that said it canceled its annual “Cultural Food Fest” after students objected to its initial inclusion of a pro-Israel student group.
Spoon University Northwestern, a student-run food magazine, wrote in an email to students that it was calling off its Nov. 6 food festival because of concerns about the participation of Wildcats for Israel, a club housed within Hillel that describes itself as focused on Israeli culture and society.
“There’s been a lot of disappointment expressed in and around Hillel today,” Michael Simon, executive director of Northwestern Hillel, told the Forward on Friday. “What should be an opportunity for connecting across differences and having really positive engagement got turned into a sort of political catfight.”
Students involved with Wildcats for Israel were initially “really excited” to participate in the fest, Simon said.
But amid student backlash, Spoon reversed course and disinvited Wildcats for Israel, Simon said. In a statement posted to Instagram, Spoon cited “the ongoing genocide in Gaza” to explain the group’s removal.
Yet even that exclusion was not enough for some student organizations. Northwestern’s Asian Pacific American Coalition; Alianza, the Latinx student alliance; and the Middle Eastern North African Student Association, issued a joint statement saying that they were withdrawing from the fest because of the original inclusion of Wildcats for Israel.
“A ‘culture’ born from the active land theft and genocide of Palestinians should not be recognized,” the student groups wrote on Instagram.
Spoon then cancelled the event altogether.
Now, Spoon’s status as an officially registered student organization has been frozen while the investigation into allegations of discrimination is being conducted, a Northwestern spokesperson wrote in an email to the Forward.
The investigation comes as Northwestern faces additional obligations to address and report allegations of antisemitism as part of its $75 million settlement with the Trump administration in November 2025. As part of the agreement, the university pledged that its Office of Civil Rights would publish annual reports with data about complaints of antisemitism, including investigative and disciplinary actions taken.
Spoon did not respond to the Forward’s request for comment.
In its email to students, Spoon said Wildcats for Israel was removed because of its status as “a political action group, not a cultural organization.”
Simon pushed back on that characterization of the club. “They’re not engaged in political advocacy or political work, certainly not in their current iteration,” Simon said. “They’re really focused on doing cultural and educational programming, connecting with Israel and with the Israeli people.”
The idea that Wildcats for Israel is considered political, while other student organizations opposing Israel are not, “appears to be a real double standard,” Simon said.
Still, Simon said the cancellation did not prevent Wildcats for Israel from having its own cultural food event — inviting students to the Hillel building on Friday to talk about what had happened over slushies in two flavors popular in Israel, limonana and iced cafe.
“They’re really turning to a place of being in community and supporting one another,” Simon said.
The post Northwestern launches civil rights investigation into club that banned pro-Israel group from its food festival appeared first on The Forward.
