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Jewish marriage rites are robust. Now a rabbi is innovating rituals for Jews who divorce.
(J. The Jewish News of Northern California via JTA) — For Lyssa Jaye, throwing the wood chips into the Tuolumne River felt in many ways familiar to the tashlich ritual performed on Rosh Hashanah. But rather than casting off her sins, she was tossing away feelings: shame, resentment, anger.
They were the emotions that had taken residence inside Jaye since her divorce eight years ago, along with a sense of failure. And she had come to a Jewish retreat to rid herself of them.
“I’ve been carrying around these feelings for years now,” Jaye said. “I have a completely different life now, and I needed to let them go.”
Jaye was taking part in Divorce & Discovery: A Jewish Healing Retreat, the first-ever gathering in a series conceived by Rabbi Deborah Newbrun as part of her training, held this month at Camp Tawonga in the Bay Area.
One of the requirements at the Pluralistic Rabbinical Seminary, where Newbrun was ordained last year in the first graduating class, “was that each of us had to do an innovation, or something that didn’t exist before,” she said.
Newbrun, who directed Camp Tawonga for more than two decades, has been recognized for innovative programming for such achievements as initiating Tawonga’s LGBT family camp and founding its wilderness department. She even won a prestigious 2018 Covenant Award for Jewish educators. But as she started thinking about how to fulfill the seminary requirement, her first thought was, “I don’t have any ideas left in me.”
Then she began reflecting back on her divorce years earlier. She remembered how she had approached numerous rabbis and colleagues in search of Jewish support around the grief she felt. And how they all came up empty-handed.
That’s when she realized: “I can put together something meaningful and helpful for people going through divorce.”
From the moment participants arrived at Camp Tawonga near Yosemite, they knew this would be no ordinary Jewish retreat. At the opening event, all of the facilitators, several clergy members and a therapist shared their own divorce stories, “to set the standard and normalize vulnerability, transparent sharing and establish that we all know what it’s like to have a marriage end,” Newbrun said.
Most participants were from the Bay Area, with a handful from farther afield. They were in different life stages, from those in their 30s dealing with custody battles over young children, to empty nesters in their 60s. Some had separated from their partners years ago, while others had gone their separate ways more recently. Some split amicably; a good many did not. But all had come up against a lack of Jewish resources or support when navigating this major life passage.
Rabbi Deborah Newbrun, the founder of Divorce and Discovery at the recent weekend. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Jaye said she left no stone unturned in seeking out support, an experience Newbrun said she heard echoed by many participants. Jaye attended a retreat at a local meditation center. She read self-help books. She joined a support group for divorcees. She went to therapy.
And while they all helped in different ways, none was specifically Jewish.
“I knew I needed some kind of spiritual way forward,” she said. “I needed to do this in my own language, with my own people.”
Even though the retreat came nearly a decade years after Jaye’s divorce, “it was profound. It felt like coming home, and that this is what I needed all along. This model could be extremely powerful. The rituals we did could be taught in rabbinical schools or to Jewish educators so it’s not just ‘sign this get and goodbye,’” she said, referring to the Jewish divorce document.
Rather than create new rituals, Newbrun and her facilitators took familiar Jewish rituals and retooled them.
The tashlich ritual, led by Newbrun and Maggid Jhos Singer, had a call-and-response portion, and participants also could call out what they personally wanted to cast off. “One person ‘tashliched’ their wedding ring into the river and felt it was such a perfect place to let it go!” said Newbrun.
An optional immersion in the Tuolumne River followed. Jaye, who years ago went to the mikvah alone, with only the attendant there for support, said there was no comparison with how much more healing it felt performing the ritual in community.
A session on sitting shiva for one’s marriage, led by Rabbi Sue Reinhold, allowed participants to share and mourn the loss of what they missed most about being married. That resonated for Robyn Lieberman, who does not attend synagogue services but went to every session at the retreat on innovating Jewish rituals.
“I did need to mourn what I’m losing,” said Lieberman, who had been married to an Israeli. “We had a very public, open house around Jewish religion, and a constant Israeli identity, which fulfilled my Jewish needs.”
Rabbi Jennie Chabon of Congregation B’nai Tikvah in Walnut Creek reflected on how much time she has spent with couples preparing for their wedding day, both in premarital counseling and in planning the event, and on how many marriage-related topics are covered in rabbinical school.
“And when it comes to divorce? Nothing,” Chabon said. “We’re all out here on our own trying to figure out how to wander through it.”
She was tasked with creating a havdalah ceremony with a divorce theme, in which she reimagined the wine, spices and flame typically used to mark a division between Shabbat and the rest of the week.
“There’s a fire that burns within each of us, and that flame doesn’t go out,” said Chabon, 47. “When you’re married for a long time, your identity, energy and spirit is so woven into that of another.” Her ritual was meant to affirm that “you are on fire just as you are, and you’re a blessing as an individual in the world. You don’t need a partnership or family to be whole.”
Even the Shabbat Torah service was on theme.
Rabbi Jennie Chabon reads from the Torah during a service at the Divorce and Discovery retreat. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Rather than focusing on Noah’s emergence from the ark after the flood, Chabon spoke about a lesser-known section of the week’s Torah portion, in which Noah builds a fire and offers a sacrifice to God. But if the entire earth was drenched from the flood, Chabon asked, what did he burn?
“The answer is he must have burned the ark,” Chabon said in recalling her talk at the retreat. “What does that mean for people going through this incredibly painful and tender time in their lives, when what was once a safe container and secure and protected them, they have to burn it down in order to start life anew?
“This is a perfect rebirth metaphor. But what’s being birthed is a new self and a new identity in the world as a single person,” Chabon said. “You have to release and let go of what was to make room for the blessing for who you’re going to become.”
At a ritual “hackathon” workshop presented by Newbrun, participants suggested standing during Kaddish at synagogue to mourn their marriages, and offering their children a Friday night blessing that they are whole whether they are at either parent’s home.
Not all of the sessions centered on Jewish ritual. In a session on the Japanese art of kintsugi, or mending broken pottery, attendees made vessels whose cracks they fixed with putty, symbolizing that beauty can be found in imperfection. Many danced in a Saturday-night silent disco.
Everyone was assigned to a small group, or havurah, that they met with daily, so they could establish deeper connections within the larger cohort.
“To have gone through some of these practices was very meaningful to me,” said Lieberman. “It’s not like I put a seal on my marriage and wrapped it up in a bow and put it behind me, but it was a nice catharsis for completing a transition that I’ve been very thoughtful about.”
Newbrun aims to recreate the retreat in communities around the country. Both Jaye and Lieberman said they found value in being in community with people “who get it,” without the judgment they often face.
“I was a little skeptical that all I’d have in common with people was that we were Jewish and divorced, and that that wouldn’t be enough for me to form a relationship,” said Lieberman. “But having the willingness to talk about it and explore it did open up a lot of very vulnerable conversations. The expert facilitation really made us think about the fact that divorce is not about your paper [certificate], it’s about reexamining the direction of your life and who you want to be.”
A version of this piece originally ran in J. The Jewish News of Northern California, and is reprinted with permission.
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Iran Supreme Leader Says Will Not Yield as Protests Simmer and US Threatens
Iran’s Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei speaks during a meeting in Tehran, Iran January 3, 2026. Office of the Iranian Supreme Leader/WANA (West Asia News Agency)/Handout via REUTERS
Iran’s Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei vowed not to yield after US President Donald Trump threatened to come to the aid of protesters, as rights groups reported a sharp rise in arrests following days of unrest sparked by soaring inflation.
Speaking in a recorded appearance on Saturday, Khamenei said the Islamic Republic “will not yield to the enemy” and that rioters should be “put in their place.”
State-affiliated media reported three deaths on Saturday, with rights groups saying more than 10 had already died in demonstrations across Iran since Sunday as the collapsing rial currency hits an economy already undermined by sanctions.
ECONOMIC CRISIS
Videos circulating on social media, which Reuters could not immediately verify, purported to show protests in southern and western Iran. In one, marchers called on other Iranians to come onto the streets, chanting “We don’t want spectators: join us”.
Mehr and Fars news agencies, both state affiliated, reported that a security forces member and two demonstrators were killed in Malekshahi, a western town, when what they called armed protesters tried to enter a police station.
Authorities have attempted to maintain a dual approach to the unrest, saying protests over the economy are legitimate and will be met by dialogue, while meeting some demonstrations with tear gas amid violent street confrontations.
“The bazaaris were right. They are right to say they cannot do business in these conditions,” said Khamenei, referring to market traders’ concerns over the currency slide.
“We will speak with the protesters but talking to rioters is useless. Rioters should be put in their place,” he added.
Reports of violence have centered on small cities in Iran’s western provinces, where several people have been killed, according to state media and rights groups. Authorities have said two members of the security services had died and more than a dozen were injured in the unrest.
Hengaw, a Kurdish rights group, said late on Friday that it had identified 133 people arrested, an increase of 77 from the previous day.
Trump on Friday said the US was “locked and loaded and ready to go” but did not specify what action it might take against Iran, where it carried out airstrikes last summer, joining an Israeli campaign targeting Iran’s nuclear sites and military leaders.
The threat of action adds to the pressure on Iran’s leaders as they navigate one of the most difficult periods in decades, with the sanctions-hit economy shrinking and the government struggling to provide water and electricity in some regions.
Iran has suffered a succession of major strategic blows to its regional position since the start of the war in Gaza in 2023 between its ally Hamas and Israel.
Israeli strikes hammered Iran’s strongest regional partner Hezbollah. Tehran’s close ally Bashar al-Assad was ousted in Syria. The Israeli and US assault strikes on Iran set back the expensive atomic program and killed senior military leaders, revealing extensive penetration of Tehran’s upper echelons.
FLARING VIOLENCE
The protests are the biggest since mass nationwide demonstrations in late 2022 over the death in custody of Kurdish woman Mahsa Amini. This week’s demonstrations have not matched those in scale, but still represent the toughest domestic test for authorities in three years.
Rights groups such as Hengaw and activists posting on social media reported continued protests and violence by security forces across Iran, while state-affiliated media reported what it called attacks on property by infiltrators “in the name of protest.”
State television reported arrests in western and central Iran and near the capital Tehran, including of people accused of manufacturing petrol bombs and home-made pistols.
Numerous social media posts overnight said there had been unrest in a number of cities and towns, as well as three districts of Tehran.
Reuters could not immediately verify the reports by rights groups, state media or social media accounts.
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Trump Says US Oil Companies Will Spend Billions in Venezuela
A photograph posted by US President Donald Trump on his Truth Social account shows him sitting next to CIA Director John Ratcliffe and US Secretary of State Marco Rubio as they watch the US military operation in Venezuela, January 3, 2026. Photo: @realDonaldTrump/Handout via REUTERS
President Donald Trump said that American oil companies were prepared to enter Venezuela and invest to restore production in the South American country, an announcement that came just hours after Nicolás Maduro was captured and removed by US forces.
“We’re going to have our very large US oil companies, the biggest anywhere in the world, go in, spend billions of dollars, fix the badly broken infrastructure, oil infrastructure, and start making money for the country,” Trump said on Saturday.
While Chevron is the only American major with current operations in Venezuela, Exxon Mobil and ConocoPhillips, among others, have storied histories in the country. The American Petroleum Institute, the largest US oil trade group, said on Saturday it was monitoring the emerging situation.
“We’re closely watching developments involving Venezuela, including the potential implications for global energy markets,” an API spokesperson told Reuters.
Chevron, which exports around 150,000 bpd of crude from Venezuela to the US Gulf Coast, said it is focused on the safety and wellbeing of its employees, in addition to the integrity of its assets.
“We continue to operate in full compliance with all relevant laws and regulations,” a Chevron spokesperson said in an emailed response to questions.
Top oilfield service companies SLB, Baker Hughes, Halliburton and Weatherford did not immediately respond to requests for comment. Exxon and Conoco did not immediately respond to questions from Reuters.
Trump’s plans to have large US oil companies enter Venezuela and get “oil flowing” will be hindered by lack of infrastructure that will require many years and heavy investment, analysts said. “There are still many questions that need to be answered about the state of the Venezuelan oil industry, but it is clear that it will take tens of billions of dollars to turn that industry around,” said Peter McNally, Global Head of Sector Analysts at Third Bridge, adding that it could take at least a decade of Western oil majors committing to the country.
A US embargo on all Venezuelan oil, meanwhile, remains in full effect, Trump said. He told reporters that the US military forces would remain in position until US demands had been fully met.
“The American armada remains poised in position, and the US retains all military options until United States demands have been fully met and fully satisfied,” he said.
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US Captures Venezuela’s Maduro, Trump Says US Will Run the Country
Smoke rises near Fort Tiuna during a full blackout, following explosions and loud noises, after U.S. President Donald Trump said the U.S. has struck Venezuela and captured its President Nicolas Maduro, in Caracas, Venezuela, January 3, 2026. REUTERS/Leonardo Fernandez Viloria
The US attacked Venezuela and deposed its long-serving President Nicolas Maduro in an overnight operation on Saturday, President Donald Trump said, in Washington’s most direct intervention in Latin America since the 1989 invasion of Panama.
“This was one of the most stunning, effective and powerful displays of American might and competence in American history,” Trump said at a press conference at his Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida, where he was flanked by senior officials, including Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth and Secretary of State Marco Rubio.
Trump said Maduro was in custody and that American officials would take control of Venezuela.
“We’re going to run the country until such time as we can do a safe, proper and judicious transition,” he said. “We can’t take a chance that someone else takes over Venezuela who doesn’t have the interests of Venezuelans in mind.”
POTENTIAL POWER VACUUM
It is unclear how Trump plans to oversee Venezuela. Despite a dramatic overnight operation that knocked out electricity in part of Caracas and captured Maduro in or near one of his safe houses, US forces have no control over the country itself, and Maduro’s government appears to still be in charge.
The removal of Maduro, who led Venezuela with a heavy hand for more than 12 years, potentially opens a power vacuum in the Latin American country. Venezuelan Vice President Delcy Rodriguez — Maduro’s presumptive successor — is in Russia, four sources familiar with her movements said, stoking confusion about who is next in line to govern the South American country.
Russia’s foreign ministry said the report that Rodriguez is in Russia was “fake.”
Any serious destabilization in the nation of 28 million people threatens to hand Trump the type of quagmire that has marked US foreign policy for much of the 21st century, including the invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq – which were also premised on regime change.
The US has not made such a direct intervention in its backyard region since the invasion of Panama 37 years ago to depose military leader Manuel Noriega over allegations that he led a drug-running operation. The United States has leveled similar charges against Maduro, accusing him of running a “narco-state” and rigging the 2024 election.
Maduro, a 63-year-old former bus driver handpicked by the dying Hugo Chavez to succeed him in 2013, has denied those claims and said Washington was intent on taking control of his nation’s oil reserves, the largest in the world.
VENEZUELAN OFFICIALS DECRY U.S. ACTION
The streets of Venezuela appeared calm as the sun rose. Soldiers patrolled some parts and some small pro-Maduro crowds began gathering in Caracas.
Others, however, expressed relief.
“I’m happy, I doubted for a moment that it was happening because it’s like a movie,” said merchant Carolina Pimentel, 37, in the city of Maracay. “It’s all calm now but I feel like at any moment everyone will be out celebrating.”
Venezuelan officials condemned Saturday’s intervention. “In the unity of the people we will find the strength to resist and to triumph,” Defense Minister Vladimir Padrino said in a video message.
While various Latin American governments oppose Maduro and say he stole the 2024 vote, direct US action revives painful memories of past interventions and is generally strongly opposed by governments and populations in the region.
Trump’s action recalls the Monroe Doctrine, laid out in 1823 by President James Monroe, laying US claim to influence in the region, as well as the “gunboat diplomacy” seen under Theodore Roosevelt in the early 1900s.
Venezuelan allies Russia, Cuba and Iran were quick to condemn the strikes as a violation of sovereignty. Tehran urged the UN Security Council to stop the “unlawful aggression.”
Among major Latin American nations, Argentina’s President Javier Milei lauded Venezuela’s new “freedom” while Mexico condemned the intervention and Brazil’s President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva said it crossed “an unacceptable line.”