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Jewish marriage rites are robust. Now a rabbi is innovating rituals for Jews who divorce.
(J. The Jewish News of Northern California via JTA) — For Lyssa Jaye, throwing the wood chips into the Tuolumne River felt in many ways familiar to the tashlich ritual performed on Rosh Hashanah. But rather than casting off her sins, she was tossing away feelings: shame, resentment, anger.
They were the emotions that had taken residence inside Jaye since her divorce eight years ago, along with a sense of failure. And she had come to a Jewish retreat to rid herself of them.
“I’ve been carrying around these feelings for years now,” Jaye said. “I have a completely different life now, and I needed to let them go.”
Jaye was taking part in Divorce & Discovery: A Jewish Healing Retreat, the first-ever gathering in a series conceived by Rabbi Deborah Newbrun as part of her training, held this month at Camp Tawonga in the Bay Area.
One of the requirements at the Pluralistic Rabbinical Seminary, where Newbrun was ordained last year in the first graduating class, “was that each of us had to do an innovation, or something that didn’t exist before,” she said.
Newbrun, who directed Camp Tawonga for more than two decades, has been recognized for innovative programming for such achievements as initiating Tawonga’s LGBT family camp and founding its wilderness department. She even won a prestigious 2018 Covenant Award for Jewish educators. But as she started thinking about how to fulfill the seminary requirement, her first thought was, “I don’t have any ideas left in me.”
Then she began reflecting back on her divorce years earlier. She remembered how she had approached numerous rabbis and colleagues in search of Jewish support around the grief she felt. And how they all came up empty-handed.
That’s when she realized: “I can put together something meaningful and helpful for people going through divorce.”
From the moment participants arrived at Camp Tawonga near Yosemite, they knew this would be no ordinary Jewish retreat. At the opening event, all of the facilitators, several clergy members and a therapist shared their own divorce stories, “to set the standard and normalize vulnerability, transparent sharing and establish that we all know what it’s like to have a marriage end,” Newbrun said.
Most participants were from the Bay Area, with a handful from farther afield. They were in different life stages, from those in their 30s dealing with custody battles over young children, to empty nesters in their 60s. Some had separated from their partners years ago, while others had gone their separate ways more recently. Some split amicably; a good many did not. But all had come up against a lack of Jewish resources or support when navigating this major life passage.
Rabbi Deborah Newbrun, the founder of Divorce and Discovery at the recent weekend. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Jaye said she left no stone unturned in seeking out support, an experience Newbrun said she heard echoed by many participants. Jaye attended a retreat at a local meditation center. She read self-help books. She joined a support group for divorcees. She went to therapy.
And while they all helped in different ways, none was specifically Jewish.
“I knew I needed some kind of spiritual way forward,” she said. “I needed to do this in my own language, with my own people.”
Even though the retreat came nearly a decade years after Jaye’s divorce, “it was profound. It felt like coming home, and that this is what I needed all along. This model could be extremely powerful. The rituals we did could be taught in rabbinical schools or to Jewish educators so it’s not just ‘sign this get and goodbye,’” she said, referring to the Jewish divorce document.
Rather than create new rituals, Newbrun and her facilitators took familiar Jewish rituals and retooled them.
The tashlich ritual, led by Newbrun and Maggid Jhos Singer, had a call-and-response portion, and participants also could call out what they personally wanted to cast off. “One person ‘tashliched’ their wedding ring into the river and felt it was such a perfect place to let it go!” said Newbrun.
An optional immersion in the Tuolumne River followed. Jaye, who years ago went to the mikvah alone, with only the attendant there for support, said there was no comparison with how much more healing it felt performing the ritual in community.
A session on sitting shiva for one’s marriage, led by Rabbi Sue Reinhold, allowed participants to share and mourn the loss of what they missed most about being married. That resonated for Robyn Lieberman, who does not attend synagogue services but went to every session at the retreat on innovating Jewish rituals.
“I did need to mourn what I’m losing,” said Lieberman, who had been married to an Israeli. “We had a very public, open house around Jewish religion, and a constant Israeli identity, which fulfilled my Jewish needs.”
Rabbi Jennie Chabon of Congregation B’nai Tikvah in Walnut Creek reflected on how much time she has spent with couples preparing for their wedding day, both in premarital counseling and in planning the event, and on how many marriage-related topics are covered in rabbinical school.
“And when it comes to divorce? Nothing,” Chabon said. “We’re all out here on our own trying to figure out how to wander through it.”
She was tasked with creating a havdalah ceremony with a divorce theme, in which she reimagined the wine, spices and flame typically used to mark a division between Shabbat and the rest of the week.
“There’s a fire that burns within each of us, and that flame doesn’t go out,” said Chabon, 47. “When you’re married for a long time, your identity, energy and spirit is so woven into that of another.” Her ritual was meant to affirm that “you are on fire just as you are, and you’re a blessing as an individual in the world. You don’t need a partnership or family to be whole.”
Even the Shabbat Torah service was on theme.
Rabbi Jennie Chabon reads from the Torah during a service at the Divorce and Discovery retreat. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Rather than focusing on Noah’s emergence from the ark after the flood, Chabon spoke about a lesser-known section of the week’s Torah portion, in which Noah builds a fire and offers a sacrifice to God. But if the entire earth was drenched from the flood, Chabon asked, what did he burn?
“The answer is he must have burned the ark,” Chabon said in recalling her talk at the retreat. “What does that mean for people going through this incredibly painful and tender time in their lives, when what was once a safe container and secure and protected them, they have to burn it down in order to start life anew?
“This is a perfect rebirth metaphor. But what’s being birthed is a new self and a new identity in the world as a single person,” Chabon said. “You have to release and let go of what was to make room for the blessing for who you’re going to become.”
At a ritual “hackathon” workshop presented by Newbrun, participants suggested standing during Kaddish at synagogue to mourn their marriages, and offering their children a Friday night blessing that they are whole whether they are at either parent’s home.
Not all of the sessions centered on Jewish ritual. In a session on the Japanese art of kintsugi, or mending broken pottery, attendees made vessels whose cracks they fixed with putty, symbolizing that beauty can be found in imperfection. Many danced in a Saturday-night silent disco.
Everyone was assigned to a small group, or havurah, that they met with daily, so they could establish deeper connections within the larger cohort.
“To have gone through some of these practices was very meaningful to me,” said Lieberman. “It’s not like I put a seal on my marriage and wrapped it up in a bow and put it behind me, but it was a nice catharsis for completing a transition that I’ve been very thoughtful about.”
Newbrun aims to recreate the retreat in communities around the country. Both Jaye and Lieberman said they found value in being in community with people “who get it,” without the judgment they often face.
“I was a little skeptical that all I’d have in common with people was that we were Jewish and divorced, and that that wouldn’t be enough for me to form a relationship,” said Lieberman. “But having the willingness to talk about it and explore it did open up a lot of very vulnerable conversations. The expert facilitation really made us think about the fact that divorce is not about your paper [certificate], it’s about reexamining the direction of your life and who you want to be.”
A version of this piece originally ran in J. The Jewish News of Northern California, and is reprinted with permission.
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Syria Tightens Grip After Kurdish Pullback, Says Islamic State Prisoners Escape
Military members gather near Raqqa prison, where the Syrian army is besieging SDF members after the army took control of the city of Raqqa, Syria, Jan. 19, 2026. Photo: REUTERS/Mahmoud Hassano
Syrian government troops tightened their grip on Monday across a swathe of northern and eastern territory after it was abruptly abandoned by Kurdish forces in a dramatic shift that has consolidated President Ahmed al-Sharaa’s rule.
A day after the Kurdish-led Syrian Democratic Forces (SDF), once the main US ally in Syria, agreed to quit large areas under a ceasefire, the Syrian army said “a number of” Islamic State terrorists had escaped a prison that had been under SDF control in the eastern city of Shaddadi, accusing the SDF of releasing them.
The SDF said it had lost control of the prison following an attack by government fighters. The Syrian army denied attacking the jail and said its forces would work to secure the prison and re-arrest the escapees.
The SDF said Shaddadi prison had held thousands of militants. The army did not say how many IS detainees had fled.
The SDF withdrawals mark the biggest change in Syria‘s control map since Islamist fighters led by Sharaa toppled President Bashar al-Assad in 2024, tilting the power balance Sharaa’s way after months of deadlock in talks with the SDF over government demands its forces merge fully with Damascus.
After days of fighting with government forces, the SDF agreed on Sunday to withdraw from both Raqqa and Deir al-Zor – two Arab-majority provinces they had controlled for years and the location of Syria‘s main oil fields.
GOVERNMENT TROOPS DEPLOY AT OILFIELD, IN RAQQA
Turkey, which has repeatedly sent forces into northern Syria to curb Kurdish power since 2016, welcomed the deal signed by its ally Sharaa and SDF commander Mazloum Abdi. Turkish President Tayyip Erdogan urged the swift implementation of the agreement that requires the full integration of Kurdish fighters into Syria‘s armed forces.
The SDF, spearheaded by the Kurdish YPG militia, had established control of a quarter or more of Syria during the 2011-2024 civil war, whilst fighting with the support of US troops against Islamic State. The United States, which has since established close ties with Sharaa under President Donald Trump, has been closely involved in mediation between the sides.
The SDF media office said in a statement that the prison at Shaddadi – one of three under its control in the Hasakah region – had come under repeated attack by “Damascus factions,” and that dozens of SDF fighters were killed or wounded defending it.
The statement added that the US-led coalition against Islamic State had not intervened despite repeated appeals to a nearby coalition base. The US military’s Central Command did not immediately respond to an emailed request for comment.
In its denial of the SDF account, the Syrian Ministry of Defense said army forces had bypassed Shaddadi, in line with deployment plans, and offered aid to SDF forces inside. The Syrian army announced it had established control over the city of Shaddadi and the prison.
The Syrian Defense Ministry also denied an SDF account of clashes between government and SDF forces near a jail in Raqqa, which the SDF said was holding IS inmates. It said the army had arrived “at the vicinity of al-Aqtan prison … and began securing it and its surroundings despite the presence of SDF forces inside”.
The SDF said nine of its fighters were killed and 20 wounded in clashes around al-Aqtan.
Hasakah province, which largely remains under SDF control, is home to the Kurdish-majority city of Qamishli, the main prisons holding Islamic State detainees, and a camp holding thousands of IS-linked prisoners.
GOVERNMENT FORCES DEPLOY
Reuters journalists saw government forces deployed in the city of Raqqa that the SDF had captured from Islamic State in 2017, and at oil and gas facilities in the eastern province of Deir al-Zor – both areas the Kurdish forces had held for years.
It follows the withdrawal of Kurdish forces from districts of Aleppo city they had controlled for years after fighting there earlier this month.
The 14-point deal published by Syria‘s presidency showed Abdi’s signature alongside Sharaa’s.
It stipulates that the prisons, along with all border crossings and oil and gas fields, would be handed to government control – steps the SDF had long resisted.
The timing of the handover of the prisons and camps was not announced.
Abdi, the SDF commander, confirmed on Sunday that the SDF had agreed to withdraw from Deir al-Zor and Raqqa provinces.
Abdi said he is set to meet Sharaa in Damascus on Monday and would share the details of the agreement with the public after his return to SDF-held territory, Kurdish media reported.
The deal says that all SDF forces will be merged into the defense and interior ministries as “individuals” and not as units, as the SDF had sought.
It commits the SDF to expel all non-Syrian figures affiliated to the Kurdistan Workers’ Party (PKK), a Kurdish militant group which fought a decades-long insurgency in Turkey.
Senior figures from Erdogan’s ruling AK Party said this removed a major obstacle to Turkey’s peace process with PKK militants.
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Israeli Government Sends 2026 Budget to Parliament, Approval at Risk From Rifts
A drone view of Jerusalem with the Knesset, the Israeli parliament, in Jerusalem, Feb. 4, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Ilan Rosenberg
Israel’s Finance Ministry said on Monday it delivered the 2026 state budget draft to parliament ahead of a preliminary vote on Wednesday, though the plan’s prospects are clouded by political fractures that have strained the ruling coalition.
Delayed by political infighting, the cabinet last month approved the spending plan for this year after defense outlays were raised to 112 billion shekels ($35.45 billion) from an initial 90 billion.
The budget, as well as an accompanying economic plan, faces an uphill battle for approval as the government has become increasingly polarized. By law it must be approved by the end of March or an election would be triggered.
If approved on Wednesday, the budget will head to parliament‘s finance committee where it could undergo changes before its final two votes in the plenum.
For more than two years parties in the ruling coalition have splintered over the war in Gaza, the ceasefire that has halted it, and demands by ultra-Orthodox Jewish parties to exempt Jewish seminary students from mandatory military service.
In all, state spending would be 662 billion shekels excluding debt servicing. The deficit ceiling was set at 3.9% of gross domestic product, a level the Bank of Israel deems as too high since it does not allow for a reduction in the debt burden.
The budget deficit slipped to 4.7% of GDP in 2025 from 6.8% in 2023. A spike in defense costs due to the Gaza war pushed the deficit higher the past two years.
While the ceasefire has halted most fighting, it has not stopped entirely, and both sides have accused one another of violating the deal’s provisions.
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Iran to Consider Lifting Internet Ban as Brutal Crackdown Quells Protests; State TV Hacked
An Iranian woman walks on a street in Tehran, Iran, Jan. 19, 2026. Photo: Majid Asgaripour/WANA (West Asia News Agency) via REUTERS
Iran may lift its internet blackout in a few days, a senior parliament member said on Monday, after authorities shut communications while they used massive force to crush protests in the worst domestic unrest since the 1979 Islamic Revolution.
In the latest sign of weakness in the authorities’ control, state television appeared to be hacked late on Sunday, briefly showing speeches by US President Donald Trump and the exiled son of Iran‘s last shah calling on the public to revolt.
Iran‘s streets have largely been quiet for a week, authorities and social media posts indicated, since anti-government protests that began in late December were put down in three days of mass violence.
An Iranian official told Reuters on condition of anonymity that the confirmed death toll was more than 5,000, including 500 members of the security forces, with some of the worst unrest taking place in ethnic Kurdish areas in the northwest. Western-based Iranian rights groups also say thousands were killed.
ARRESTS REPORTED TO BE CONTINUING
US-based Iranian Kurdish rights group HRANA reported on Monday that a significant number of injuries to protesters came from pellet fire to the face and chest that led to blindings, internal bleeding, and organ injuries.
State television reported arrests continuing across Iran on Sunday, including Tehran, Kerman in the south, and Semnan just east of the capital. It said those detained included agents of what it called Israeli terrorist groups.
Opponents accuse the authorities of opening fire on peaceful demonstrators to crush dissent. Iran‘s clerical rulers say armed crowds encouraged by foreign enemies attacked hospitals and mosques.
The death tolls dwarf those of previous bouts of anti-government unrest put down by the authorities in 2022 and 2009. The violence drew repeated threats from Trump to intervene militarily, although he has backed off since the large-scale killing stopped.
Trump’s warnings raised fears among Gulf Arab states of a wider escalation, and they conducted intense diplomacy with Washington and Tehran. Iran‘s ambassador to Saudi Arabia Alireza Enayati said on Monday that “igniting any conflict will have consequences for the entire region.”
INTERNET TO RETURN WHEN ‘CONDITIONS ARE APPROPRIATE’
Iranian communications including internet and international phone lines were largely stopped in the days leading up to the worst unrest. The blackout has since partially eased, allowing accounts of widespread attacks on protesters to emerge.
The internet monitoring group Netblocks said on Monday that metrics showed national connectivity remained minimal, but that a “filternet” with managed restrictions was allowing some messages through, suggesting authorities were testing a more heavily filtered internet.
Ebrahim Azizi, the head of parliament’s National Security and Foreign Policy Committee, said top security bodies would decide on restoring internet in the coming days, with service resuming “as soon as security conditions are appropriate.”
Another parliament member, hardliner Hamid Rasaei, said authorities should have listened to earlier complaints by Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei about “lax cyberspace.”
During Sunday’s apparent hack into state television, screens broadcast a segment lasting several minutes with the on-screen headline “the real news of the Iranian national revolution.”
It included messages from Reza Pahlavi, the US-based son of Iran‘s last shah, calling for a revolt to overthrow rule by the Shi’ite Muslim clerics who have run the country since the 1979 revolution that toppled his father.
Pahlavi has emerged as a prominent opposition voice and has said he plans to return to Iran, although it is difficult to assess independently how strong support for him is inside Iran.