Uncategorized
Jewish marriage rites are robust. Now a rabbi is innovating rituals for Jews who divorce.
(J. The Jewish News of Northern California via JTA) — For Lyssa Jaye, throwing the wood chips into the Tuolumne River felt in many ways familiar to the tashlich ritual performed on Rosh Hashanah. But rather than casting off her sins, she was tossing away feelings: shame, resentment, anger.
They were the emotions that had taken residence inside Jaye since her divorce eight years ago, along with a sense of failure. And she had come to a Jewish retreat to rid herself of them.
“I’ve been carrying around these feelings for years now,” Jaye said. “I have a completely different life now, and I needed to let them go.”
Jaye was taking part in Divorce & Discovery: A Jewish Healing Retreat, the first-ever gathering in a series conceived by Rabbi Deborah Newbrun as part of her training, held this month at Camp Tawonga in the Bay Area.
One of the requirements at the Pluralistic Rabbinical Seminary, where Newbrun was ordained last year in the first graduating class, “was that each of us had to do an innovation, or something that didn’t exist before,” she said.
Newbrun, who directed Camp Tawonga for more than two decades, has been recognized for innovative programming for such achievements as initiating Tawonga’s LGBT family camp and founding its wilderness department. She even won a prestigious 2018 Covenant Award for Jewish educators. But as she started thinking about how to fulfill the seminary requirement, her first thought was, “I don’t have any ideas left in me.”
Then she began reflecting back on her divorce years earlier. She remembered how she had approached numerous rabbis and colleagues in search of Jewish support around the grief she felt. And how they all came up empty-handed.
That’s when she realized: “I can put together something meaningful and helpful for people going through divorce.”
From the moment participants arrived at Camp Tawonga near Yosemite, they knew this would be no ordinary Jewish retreat. At the opening event, all of the facilitators, several clergy members and a therapist shared their own divorce stories, “to set the standard and normalize vulnerability, transparent sharing and establish that we all know what it’s like to have a marriage end,” Newbrun said.
Most participants were from the Bay Area, with a handful from farther afield. They were in different life stages, from those in their 30s dealing with custody battles over young children, to empty nesters in their 60s. Some had separated from their partners years ago, while others had gone their separate ways more recently. Some split amicably; a good many did not. But all had come up against a lack of Jewish resources or support when navigating this major life passage.
Rabbi Deborah Newbrun, the founder of Divorce and Discovery at the recent weekend. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Jaye said she left no stone unturned in seeking out support, an experience Newbrun said she heard echoed by many participants. Jaye attended a retreat at a local meditation center. She read self-help books. She joined a support group for divorcees. She went to therapy.
And while they all helped in different ways, none was specifically Jewish.
“I knew I needed some kind of spiritual way forward,” she said. “I needed to do this in my own language, with my own people.”
Even though the retreat came nearly a decade years after Jaye’s divorce, “it was profound. It felt like coming home, and that this is what I needed all along. This model could be extremely powerful. The rituals we did could be taught in rabbinical schools or to Jewish educators so it’s not just ‘sign this get and goodbye,’” she said, referring to the Jewish divorce document.
Rather than create new rituals, Newbrun and her facilitators took familiar Jewish rituals and retooled them.
The tashlich ritual, led by Newbrun and Maggid Jhos Singer, had a call-and-response portion, and participants also could call out what they personally wanted to cast off. “One person ‘tashliched’ their wedding ring into the river and felt it was such a perfect place to let it go!” said Newbrun.
An optional immersion in the Tuolumne River followed. Jaye, who years ago went to the mikvah alone, with only the attendant there for support, said there was no comparison with how much more healing it felt performing the ritual in community.
A session on sitting shiva for one’s marriage, led by Rabbi Sue Reinhold, allowed participants to share and mourn the loss of what they missed most about being married. That resonated for Robyn Lieberman, who does not attend synagogue services but went to every session at the retreat on innovating Jewish rituals.
“I did need to mourn what I’m losing,” said Lieberman, who had been married to an Israeli. “We had a very public, open house around Jewish religion, and a constant Israeli identity, which fulfilled my Jewish needs.”
Rabbi Jennie Chabon of Congregation B’nai Tikvah in Walnut Creek reflected on how much time she has spent with couples preparing for their wedding day, both in premarital counseling and in planning the event, and on how many marriage-related topics are covered in rabbinical school.
“And when it comes to divorce? Nothing,” Chabon said. “We’re all out here on our own trying to figure out how to wander through it.”
She was tasked with creating a havdalah ceremony with a divorce theme, in which she reimagined the wine, spices and flame typically used to mark a division between Shabbat and the rest of the week.
“There’s a fire that burns within each of us, and that flame doesn’t go out,” said Chabon, 47. “When you’re married for a long time, your identity, energy and spirit is so woven into that of another.” Her ritual was meant to affirm that “you are on fire just as you are, and you’re a blessing as an individual in the world. You don’t need a partnership or family to be whole.”
Even the Shabbat Torah service was on theme.
Rabbi Jennie Chabon reads from the Torah during a service at the Divorce and Discovery retreat. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Rather than focusing on Noah’s emergence from the ark after the flood, Chabon spoke about a lesser-known section of the week’s Torah portion, in which Noah builds a fire and offers a sacrifice to God. But if the entire earth was drenched from the flood, Chabon asked, what did he burn?
“The answer is he must have burned the ark,” Chabon said in recalling her talk at the retreat. “What does that mean for people going through this incredibly painful and tender time in their lives, when what was once a safe container and secure and protected them, they have to burn it down in order to start life anew?
“This is a perfect rebirth metaphor. But what’s being birthed is a new self and a new identity in the world as a single person,” Chabon said. “You have to release and let go of what was to make room for the blessing for who you’re going to become.”
At a ritual “hackathon” workshop presented by Newbrun, participants suggested standing during Kaddish at synagogue to mourn their marriages, and offering their children a Friday night blessing that they are whole whether they are at either parent’s home.
Not all of the sessions centered on Jewish ritual. In a session on the Japanese art of kintsugi, or mending broken pottery, attendees made vessels whose cracks they fixed with putty, symbolizing that beauty can be found in imperfection. Many danced in a Saturday-night silent disco.
Everyone was assigned to a small group, or havurah, that they met with daily, so they could establish deeper connections within the larger cohort.
“To have gone through some of these practices was very meaningful to me,” said Lieberman. “It’s not like I put a seal on my marriage and wrapped it up in a bow and put it behind me, but it was a nice catharsis for completing a transition that I’ve been very thoughtful about.”
Newbrun aims to recreate the retreat in communities around the country. Both Jaye and Lieberman said they found value in being in community with people “who get it,” without the judgment they often face.
“I was a little skeptical that all I’d have in common with people was that we were Jewish and divorced, and that that wouldn’t be enough for me to form a relationship,” said Lieberman. “But having the willingness to talk about it and explore it did open up a lot of very vulnerable conversations. The expert facilitation really made us think about the fact that divorce is not about your paper [certificate], it’s about reexamining the direction of your life and who you want to be.”
A version of this piece originally ran in J. The Jewish News of Northern California, and is reprinted with permission.
—
The post Jewish marriage rites are robust. Now a rabbi is innovating rituals for Jews who divorce. appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
Uncategorized
This politician refused to say ‘Happy Hanukkah,’ then blamed ‘political correctness’ for the backlash
An elected official in North Carolina who refused to say “Happy Hanukkah” during a board meeting later confirmed his position during an interview.
“I’m going to defend my right to say ‘Merry Christmas,’ and I’m not going to apologize for saying ‘Merry Christmas,’” Chris Chadwick, chairman of the Carteret County Board of Commissioners, said in a phone interview with the Forward.
Chadwick made the initial comment, first reported by Coastal Review, at a Monday meeting of the commission, which serves beachside towns along North Carolina’s Crystal Coast. The commission has seven members, all Republicans.
As Chadwick was wrapping up the commission meeting, he wished the group a Merry Christmas, and Commissioner Marianne Waldrop whispered, “We haven’t said ‘Happy Hanukkah.’”
“No, we don’t say that,” Chadwick replied, as Waldrop’s mouth fell agape.
Chadwick continued, “I want to wish everybody Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year —”
“And Happy Hanukkah,” Waldrop interjected, louder this time.
“— and we appreciate y’all coming,” Chadwick concluded.
“I was setting you up for success, not failure,” Waldrop said as the board adjourned.
Chadwick, elected in 2022, said Waldrop caught him off guard, and he didn’t appreciate her “trying to tell me what to say.” He said his comment reflected that he celebrates Christmas, not Hanukkah, in his family, but he meant “nothing derogatory to Jewish people or Hanukkah or anything like that.”
He added that “there’s so much political correctness out there now, it’s hard to keep on top of it. It was a simple ‘Merry Christmas,’ and it just got turned into something that it wasn’t.”
Chadwick said he understood why Jews might be sensitive to his comments after Sunday’s deadly attack on a Hanukkah celebration in Sydney, but he hadn’t heard about the terror attack at the time of Monday morning’s meeting.
Asked if he would include both holidays moving forward, Chadwick responded that he “could, but we don’t have many Jewish people here, so we’re just not used to doing it.”
An estimated 350 Jews lived in Carteret County in 2024, out of a total population of around 70,000.
Chadwick said he had spoken to a number of Jewish constituents about the incident who “understood completely” and taught him that Hanukkah lasts eight days.
But the remark did not sit well with Leonard Rogoff, president and historian of Jewish Heritage North Carolina.
“At a moment when Jews have been slaughtered in Australia for celebrating their holiday, when armed police guard synagogues here in North Carolina as Jews worship, for the county commissioner to refuse to acknowledge his Jewish neighbors and fellow citizens is not in keeping with the spirit of the holidays,” Rogoff told the Coastal Review. “How could Jews not take offense?”
Asked if he would do anything differently in retrospect, Chadwick said “looking back, she probably should have made her comments during her time, and let me make my comments.”
The post This politician refused to say ‘Happy Hanukkah,’ then blamed ‘political correctness’ for the backlash appeared first on The Forward.
Uncategorized
Guinness World Records’ Exclusion of Israel Is ‘Deceptive,’ a Form of False Advertising, Advocacy Group Says
Guinness World Records Day 2025 at Elbtor Mobile in Hamburg, Germany. Photo: Marcus Brandt via Reuters Connect
Guinness World Records is guilty of false advertising for refusing to log the accomplishments of Israelis in its publications, the Louis D. Brandeis Center for Human Rights Under Law has complained to the US Federal Trade Commission in a letter demanding that the agency use its authority to stop the allegedly mendacious practice.
GWR annually publishes a Guinness World Records book, commemorating a range of human achievements, from feats of scientific discovery to musical endeavors which yielded massive record sales. However, as previously reported by The Algemeiner, GWR suspended its processing of applications reporting new records achieved in Israel and the Palestinian territories in November 2023, shortly after the war in Gaza started following Hamas’s Oct. 7 massacre across southern Israel.
“We are aware of just how sensitive this is at the moment,” GWR, published by the Jim Pattison Group, said in a statement issued earlier this month after the policy excluded an Israel charity’s being recognized for holding the single largest gathering of kidney donors in one place. “We truly do believe in record breaking for everyone, everywhere but unfortunately in the current climate we are not generally processing record applications from the Palestinian Territories or Israel, or where either is given as the attempt location, with the exception of those done in cooperation with a UN humanitarian aid relief agency.”
GWR’s explanation does not change the fact that it is excluding the world’s lone Jewish state from the world community over a war it did not start, the Brandeis Center said in Tuesday’s letter, arguing that, as such, Guinness World Records cannot literally claim to represent all of the world.
“They don’t have a right to deceive their readership and customer base by claiming that it is publishing ‘world records,’” Brandeis Center chairman and founder Kenneth Marcus said in a statement. “We have seen again and again that Israelis are capable of besting the competition and achieving international success. Any so-called ‘world record’ excluding such talented challengers must at a minimum carry an asterisk to disclose that it is not truly a record for the entire world.”
At the least, Marcus charged, GWR should issue refunds to customers, adding, “To the extent that GWR has been deceptively selling mislabeled products to the public, it should provide their money back.”
Notably, GWR accepts hundreds of applications annually from China, a country whose government has reportedly imprisoned more than a million Uyghurs, a predominantly Muslim ethnic minority, in concentration camps. According to leaked documents from inside China, detainees in these camps have been subjected to rape, torture, forced labor, brainwashing, and forced sterilization. The US Holocaust Memorial Museum and the State Department under both the Trump and Biden administrations have assessed China is committing genocide against the Uyghurs.
Israel, by contrast, counts some 2 million Arab Muslims as full citizens in what is the only liberal democracy in the Middle East.
Chinese residents perform square dance during an attempt to set a new Guinness World Record in Chongqing, China, Nov. 7, 2016. Photo: Oriental Image via Reuters Connect
GWR has also been accused of sending mixed signals about its organization’s purported political neutrality. Its website states that it is “determined to protect the integrity of our records by remaining politically neutral.” However, following Russia’s invasion of Ukraine in 2022, GWR “ceased” operations in Russia and Belarus, describing the decision as a “meaningful expression of our support and solidarity.”
It continued, “This means all current business, as well as all open conversations around future business relating to publishing, record consultancy and television productions. We are also exploring how we can prevent advertising across our digital platforms from these regions. We join calls for an end to fighting in Ukraine, and in any country or region where violence and fear preside over diplomacy or peace.”
At the same time, GWR welcomes many other countries in which “violence and fear preside over diplomacy or peace,” the Brandeis Center’s letter noted.
“GWR published the 2014 world record for longest talk show broadcast by a Damascus studio aligned with Bashar al-Assad,” the Brandeis Center said, quoting its letter to the FTC. “That record came not long after the Syrian dictator’s sarin gas attack on the nearby Ghouta suburb of Damascus. More recently, GWR featured an Iranian jump rope record achieved in February 2023 while the Islamic Republic was actively rounding up tens of thousands of participants in the Women, Life, Freedom protests.”
Days after GWR’s policy of excluding Israel received headlines this month, the nonprofit organization StandWithUs sent a letter to members of the Florida State Board of Administration calling on the state of Florida to investigate GWR over its ban on applications from Israel and to ensure that public funds do not support companies engaged in such a “discriminatory policy” against the Jewish state.
StandWithUs Saidoff Law, which carries out legal action for the pro-Israel group, requested that the board investigate GWR and its affiliate Guinness World Records North America regarding the “boycott policy” to see if they should be included on Florida’s official list of “Scrutinized Companies or Other Entities that Boycott Israel” in accordance with Florida law. Guinness World Records North America is registered in Florida as a foreign profit corporation.
Follow Dion J. Pierre @DionJPierre.
Uncategorized
NFL Player Vows to Do Touchdown Dance Invoking Antisemitic Trope
Puka Nacua during a livestream appearance. Photo: Screenshot
Los Angeles Rams wide receiver Puka Nacua promised during a livestream appearance on Wednesday to do a dance following his next touchdown that includes an antisemitic trope.
The 24-year-old professional football player appeared in a livestream with online streamers Adin Ross and N3on. Aside from calling out NFL referees, Nacua learned a dance that Ross taught him. The moves included Ross spinning the football on the ground, flexing, and then leaning in while rubbing your hands together. Nacua performed the touchdown dance, following Ross’s request, and then the Rams player promised to perform it during a game.
Critics online have argued the moves in the dance promote antisemitic stereotypes about the Jewish community, noting the livestream took place mere days after 15 people were murdered in the deadly antisemitic attack against Jews celebrating the first night of Hanukkah in Sydney, Australia. Dozens of people were also wounded.
Puka Nacua will be doing Adin Ross’s ICONIC JEWISH DANCE for his next touchdown celebration
pic.twitter.com/W2dQL4kSMB
— AdinUpdate (@AdinUpdate) December 17, 2025
Nacua and the NFL have not publicly commented on the offensive touchdown dance. The Rams are playing on Thursday night against the Seattle Seahawks. If Nacua scores a touchdown, viewers will be waiting to see if he performs the antisemitic dance Ross taught him. The Provo, Utah, native, has been described as one of the best receivers in the league.