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Jewish marriage rites are robust. Now a rabbi is innovating rituals for Jews who divorce.
(J. The Jewish News of Northern California via JTA) — For Lyssa Jaye, throwing the wood chips into the Tuolumne River felt in many ways familiar to the tashlich ritual performed on Rosh Hashanah. But rather than casting off her sins, she was tossing away feelings: shame, resentment, anger.
They were the emotions that had taken residence inside Jaye since her divorce eight years ago, along with a sense of failure. And she had come to a Jewish retreat to rid herself of them.
“I’ve been carrying around these feelings for years now,” Jaye said. “I have a completely different life now, and I needed to let them go.”
Jaye was taking part in Divorce & Discovery: A Jewish Healing Retreat, the first-ever gathering in a series conceived by Rabbi Deborah Newbrun as part of her training, held this month at Camp Tawonga in the Bay Area.
One of the requirements at the Pluralistic Rabbinical Seminary, where Newbrun was ordained last year in the first graduating class, “was that each of us had to do an innovation, or something that didn’t exist before,” she said.
Newbrun, who directed Camp Tawonga for more than two decades, has been recognized for innovative programming for such achievements as initiating Tawonga’s LGBT family camp and founding its wilderness department. She even won a prestigious 2018 Covenant Award for Jewish educators. But as she started thinking about how to fulfill the seminary requirement, her first thought was, “I don’t have any ideas left in me.”
Then she began reflecting back on her divorce years earlier. She remembered how she had approached numerous rabbis and colleagues in search of Jewish support around the grief she felt. And how they all came up empty-handed.
That’s when she realized: “I can put together something meaningful and helpful for people going through divorce.”
From the moment participants arrived at Camp Tawonga near Yosemite, they knew this would be no ordinary Jewish retreat. At the opening event, all of the facilitators, several clergy members and a therapist shared their own divorce stories, “to set the standard and normalize vulnerability, transparent sharing and establish that we all know what it’s like to have a marriage end,” Newbrun said.
Most participants were from the Bay Area, with a handful from farther afield. They were in different life stages, from those in their 30s dealing with custody battles over young children, to empty nesters in their 60s. Some had separated from their partners years ago, while others had gone their separate ways more recently. Some split amicably; a good many did not. But all had come up against a lack of Jewish resources or support when navigating this major life passage.
Rabbi Deborah Newbrun, the founder of Divorce and Discovery at the recent weekend. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Jaye said she left no stone unturned in seeking out support, an experience Newbrun said she heard echoed by many participants. Jaye attended a retreat at a local meditation center. She read self-help books. She joined a support group for divorcees. She went to therapy.
And while they all helped in different ways, none was specifically Jewish.
“I knew I needed some kind of spiritual way forward,” she said. “I needed to do this in my own language, with my own people.”
Even though the retreat came nearly a decade years after Jaye’s divorce, “it was profound. It felt like coming home, and that this is what I needed all along. This model could be extremely powerful. The rituals we did could be taught in rabbinical schools or to Jewish educators so it’s not just ‘sign this get and goodbye,’” she said, referring to the Jewish divorce document.
Rather than create new rituals, Newbrun and her facilitators took familiar Jewish rituals and retooled them.
The tashlich ritual, led by Newbrun and Maggid Jhos Singer, had a call-and-response portion, and participants also could call out what they personally wanted to cast off. “One person ‘tashliched’ their wedding ring into the river and felt it was such a perfect place to let it go!” said Newbrun.
An optional immersion in the Tuolumne River followed. Jaye, who years ago went to the mikvah alone, with only the attendant there for support, said there was no comparison with how much more healing it felt performing the ritual in community.
A session on sitting shiva for one’s marriage, led by Rabbi Sue Reinhold, allowed participants to share and mourn the loss of what they missed most about being married. That resonated for Robyn Lieberman, who does not attend synagogue services but went to every session at the retreat on innovating Jewish rituals.
“I did need to mourn what I’m losing,” said Lieberman, who had been married to an Israeli. “We had a very public, open house around Jewish religion, and a constant Israeli identity, which fulfilled my Jewish needs.”
Rabbi Jennie Chabon of Congregation B’nai Tikvah in Walnut Creek reflected on how much time she has spent with couples preparing for their wedding day, both in premarital counseling and in planning the event, and on how many marriage-related topics are covered in rabbinical school.
“And when it comes to divorce? Nothing,” Chabon said. “We’re all out here on our own trying to figure out how to wander through it.”
She was tasked with creating a havdalah ceremony with a divorce theme, in which she reimagined the wine, spices and flame typically used to mark a division between Shabbat and the rest of the week.
“There’s a fire that burns within each of us, and that flame doesn’t go out,” said Chabon, 47. “When you’re married for a long time, your identity, energy and spirit is so woven into that of another.” Her ritual was meant to affirm that “you are on fire just as you are, and you’re a blessing as an individual in the world. You don’t need a partnership or family to be whole.”
Even the Shabbat Torah service was on theme.
Rabbi Jennie Chabon reads from the Torah during a service at the Divorce and Discovery retreat. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Rather than focusing on Noah’s emergence from the ark after the flood, Chabon spoke about a lesser-known section of the week’s Torah portion, in which Noah builds a fire and offers a sacrifice to God. But if the entire earth was drenched from the flood, Chabon asked, what did he burn?
“The answer is he must have burned the ark,” Chabon said in recalling her talk at the retreat. “What does that mean for people going through this incredibly painful and tender time in their lives, when what was once a safe container and secure and protected them, they have to burn it down in order to start life anew?
“This is a perfect rebirth metaphor. But what’s being birthed is a new self and a new identity in the world as a single person,” Chabon said. “You have to release and let go of what was to make room for the blessing for who you’re going to become.”
At a ritual “hackathon” workshop presented by Newbrun, participants suggested standing during Kaddish at synagogue to mourn their marriages, and offering their children a Friday night blessing that they are whole whether they are at either parent’s home.
Not all of the sessions centered on Jewish ritual. In a session on the Japanese art of kintsugi, or mending broken pottery, attendees made vessels whose cracks they fixed with putty, symbolizing that beauty can be found in imperfection. Many danced in a Saturday-night silent disco.
Everyone was assigned to a small group, or havurah, that they met with daily, so they could establish deeper connections within the larger cohort.
“To have gone through some of these practices was very meaningful to me,” said Lieberman. “It’s not like I put a seal on my marriage and wrapped it up in a bow and put it behind me, but it was a nice catharsis for completing a transition that I’ve been very thoughtful about.”
Newbrun aims to recreate the retreat in communities around the country. Both Jaye and Lieberman said they found value in being in community with people “who get it,” without the judgment they often face.
“I was a little skeptical that all I’d have in common with people was that we were Jewish and divorced, and that that wouldn’t be enough for me to form a relationship,” said Lieberman. “But having the willingness to talk about it and explore it did open up a lot of very vulnerable conversations. The expert facilitation really made us think about the fact that divorce is not about your paper [certificate], it’s about reexamining the direction of your life and who you want to be.”
A version of this piece originally ran in J. The Jewish News of Northern California, and is reprinted with permission.
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Investing in Early Career Nonprofit Professionals Strengthens the Entire Jewish Community
Demonstrators at pro-Israel rally in Hamburg, Germany. Photo: Screenshot
The Jewish community and the nonprofit organizations that sustain it are facing major challenges today, including rising antisemitism and deep polarization around Israel. These are exacerbating already high rates of burnout and turnover among those who work at Jewish nonprofits, especially early-career professionals.
According to a 2025 Leading Edge report on the “state of Jewish nonprofit talent,” only half of employees under age 30 expect to remain at their organization two years from now. This poses a serious threat to the sector’s talent pipeline and raises an urgent question: How can Jewish organizations, foundational for communities and Jewish life, keep early-career professionals passionate and engaged for the long-run?
Research from M²: The Institute for Experiential Jewish Education’s recent Hope Study highlights two factors linked to sustained engagement among Jewish communal professionals: work energy, defined as feeling energized by one’s work, and Jewish belonging, a meaningful connection to the Jewish people and community. Professionals who experience both are more likely to remain in the field over time. For organizations focused on retention, cultivating these conditions early in a professional’s career should be a strategic priority.
Professional development (PD) has long been one of the primary tools that organizations use to build a sense of belonging and purpose among staff. However, traditional models often reserve this type of investment for mid-career or senior staff who have already demonstrated staying power. If a substantial portion of young professionals leave Jewish nonprofits within their first two years, waiting until mid-career to invest does not make sense.
Instead, we advocate for Jewish nonprofits to invest in early-career PD, starting from the onboarding process. Alongside tangible skill-building, PD should also draw on Jewish values and learning to help professionals think through the real responsibilities and tensions of communal work. When colleagues explore these questions together, they deepen their connection to the mission and build peer relationships that support them in their roles.
Over time, we believe that PD rooted in both tangible skill-building and Jewish purpose will create internal leadership pipelines for people who are actually invested in the community’s future. It strengthens organizational continuity, reduces turnover costs, and ultimately benefits the Jewish communities these institutions exist to serve. To realize these gains, however, organizations must approach early-career development intentionally.
Professional Development Begins With Onboarding
Professional development should begin on day one. Organizations have an opportunity to equip new employees during their first year with foundational skills in navigating the workplace, teamwork, and sector knowledge. This includes engagement with Jewish texts and ideas that offer language for working through tensions that arise in daily workplace dynamics as well as in broader communal conversations, including Israel and antisemitism. Understanding the language, history, and structure of the field strengthens an employee’s connection to mission and purpose, and helps them succeed, all fostering retention.
This is particularly important in a workforce where 38 percent of employees are not Jewish. Thoughtful onboarding helps ensure that talented professionals are not left to navigate cultural norms or communal rhythms on their own and increase belonging. New early career PD programs, including M²’s Aleh Summit and Leading Edge’s Onboarding Intensive, are responding to these needs by integrating Jewish learning into PD and making what is often implicit, explicit.
Articulate a Clear Growth Trajectory
Early-career professionals benefit from clear direction from upper management. Organizations should encourage supervisors to outline a six-to-twelve-month growth arc and identify the skills, responsibilities, and capacities the employee is expected to develop and ultimately own in that time. This may include naming particular leadership competencies or framing stretch assignments as deliberate developmental steps. Professional growth in Jewish nonprofits should also focus on ways to explore and deepen employees’ understanding of the Jewish values and organizational norms that drive the organization. This strengthens long-term commitment to service and can contribute to motivation at work.
Setting measurable goals also helps with retention. Research shows that employees who feel they are making progress, engaging in challenging work, and understand how their role contributes to organizational goals are significantly more likely to intend to stay.
Build an Implementation Plan
Professional development programs often focus on introducing new ideas and skills. However, without structured follow-through, what participants learn rarely makes it into their day-to-day work. Organizations can change that by encouraging supervisors to work with returning program participants to identify two or three concrete practices to integrate into their daily routine. A well-executed plan should anticipate obstacles and clarify what support will be needed to sustain and deepen the new practices.
This kind of intentional follow-through can be a game changer in the “engagement crater,” a period, often two to five years into a role, when initial enthusiasm can decline before stabilizing. Without continued growth and reinforcement, early-career professionals may experience that dip more acutely. But attention to growth and progress by both the employees and their managers can help avoid this decline.
For the employee, this practice strengthens competence and confidence. For the organization, it reduces the likelihood that initial enthusiasm dissipates.
Show Genuine Interest in Employee Growth
Managing early-career professionals requires ongoing communication. When organizations encourage supervisors to invest in these conversations, they can learn what motivates an employee and how to help them individually succeed. At the same time, a strong supervisor will affirm specific strengths they have observed, both before and after a professional development experience, and help the employee see their growth as part of a cohesive trajectory.
Opening a conversation about what early career professionals need, how they work best, and what support would enable them to thrive responds to patterns increasingly seen among Gen Z employees. They want clarity, feedback, and meaningful partnership at work. When managers co-create the work environment in this way, employees are more likely to feel heard and valued. These are the conditions that build and strengthen long-term retention.
A Long-Term Investment in Jewish Communal Leadership
In a sector where people are the primary asset, cultivating emerging professionals must become a strategic priority. Many early-career employees initially demonstrate strong alignment with mission and purpose. The question is whether organizations will maintain that alignment over time.
Sustaining professional commitment requires consistent attention. Early-career development should include an arc with multiple touchpoints, beginning with structured onboarding and continuing through the next several years as responsibilities deepen. The foundation built in the first months supports later growth.
In summary, when Jewish nonprofits invest early and consistently in their staff, professionals are equipped to develop confidence and deepen their understanding of the community they serve. Over time, this will foster pride in working on behalf of the Jewish community and encourage long term commitment to the field.
Kiva Rabinsky is the Deputy CEO and Chief Program Officer at M²: The Institute for Experiential Jewish Education. He holds an MPA in Nonprofit Management and an undergraduate degree in Education and Archeology.
Dana Childress is a Vice President, Program at Leading Edge. She focuses on programming designed to strengthen workplaces so all employees can thrive. She is based in Washington, DC.
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JD Vance praises Tucker Carlson-Mike Huckabee interview as ‘a really good conversation’
(JTA) — Vice President JD Vance has weighed in on the Tucker Carlson-Mike Huckabee interview that has ignited widespread antisemitism allegations as well as a diplomatic row with Arab states, calling it “a really good conversation that’s going to be necessary for the right.”
Vance made the comments to the Washington Post, which published them Friday morning. He said he had not seen the entire interview, which was more than two hours long, but had viewed “clips here and there.”
Vance is a longtime ally of Carlson, a leading far-right figure who has stirred a rift among conservatives by platforming antisemites, at times promoting antisemitic conspiracy theories himself and increasingly campaigning against Israel. (Carlson says he is not antisemitic.)
Vance’s refusal to criticize Carlson or seek to end the rift has increasingly alarmed Jewish conservatives. To the Washington Post, he reiterated what he said before when asked about Carlson and the antisemitism rift — that he believes the Republican Party should be an open marketplace of ideas.
He said he was pleased that the right has stoked “a real exchange of ideas,” even when it includes “the people that I find annoying on our side,” whom he did not specify. That exchange, he said, was also essential for electoral success.
“If you think of the Trump coalition in 2024 — and the way that I put it is, you had Joe Rogan, Mark Levin, Sean Hannity, Tucker Carlson and JD Vance and a coalition of people — but to do that, you have to be willing to tolerate debate and disagreement,” Vance said. “And I just think that it’s a good thing.”
Vance is seen as likely to run for president in 2028.
The post JD Vance praises Tucker Carlson-Mike Huckabee interview as ‘a really good conversation’ appeared first on The Forward.
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Amid Iran tensions, Huckabee tells US embassy staff in Israel they should leave ‘TODAY’ if they wish
(JTA) — Ambassador to Israel Mike Huckabee has told U.S. government employees and their families that they may leave the country and should do so expediently, amid mounting signs of a possible U.S. attack on Iran.
Huckabee emailed embassy staff on Friday morning saying that if they want to leave, they should do so “TODAY,” according to a letter first reported by The New York Times. He noted that commercial flights could become scarce and urged them to accept passage to any country before returning to Washington, D.C.
“There is no need to panic, but for those desiring to leave, it’s important to make plans to depart sooner rather than later,” he wrote.
The letter comes a day after U.S.-Iran talks in Geneva ended without public breakthroughs. Iranian officials, as well as the Omani mediators, said additional conversations were planned for next week; the United States did not comment. Steve Witkoff and Jared Kusher, two Jewish advisors to President Donald Trump who successfully brokered a ceasefire in the Israel-Hamas war last year, are leading the U.S. delegation.
Trump has been threatening to attack Iran for weeks over its nuclear program and has built up U.S. military forces in the Middle East to levels not seen in decades. In recent days, Secretary of State Marco Rubio and Vice President JD Vance have both said military intervention could be needed while saying the president continued to prefer diplomacy.
Vance’s comments were particularly notable because he typically opposes U.S. intervention overseas. He told the Washington Post in comments published Friday morning that there was “no chance” that the United States would get involved in an extended Middle East campaign.
Iran has said it would consider Israel a valid target in the event of a U.S. attack. Last year, Iranian missiles killed more than two dozen people in Israel during a 12-day war initiated by Israeli strikes on Iran’s military program. Now, Israelis have been living in limbo for weeks while waiting to learn whether a new war, expected to be more destructive, will begin.
In the past, when expecting Iranian retaliation, the embassy has warned staff against leaving population centers in Israel. Now, the Department of State has updated its Jerusalem embassy website to reflect “the authorized departure of non-emergency U.S. government personnel and family members of U.S. government personnel to leave Israel,” setting a status that means flights will be paid for by the U.S. government.
While El Al, Israel’s national carrier, does not fly during Shabbat, other airlines typically do run some flights to and from Ben Gurion Airport on Friday nights and Saturdays. Many of those are budget European airlines that have only recently resumed flying to Israel after last year’s Iran war; some airlines, including KLM, have already suspended Israel flights in anticipation of another conflict.
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