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Jewish marriage rites are robust. Now a rabbi is innovating rituals for Jews who divorce.
(J. The Jewish News of Northern California via JTA) — For Lyssa Jaye, throwing the wood chips into the Tuolumne River felt in many ways familiar to the tashlich ritual performed on Rosh Hashanah. But rather than casting off her sins, she was tossing away feelings: shame, resentment, anger.
They were the emotions that had taken residence inside Jaye since her divorce eight years ago, along with a sense of failure. And she had come to a Jewish retreat to rid herself of them.
“I’ve been carrying around these feelings for years now,” Jaye said. “I have a completely different life now, and I needed to let them go.”
Jaye was taking part in Divorce & Discovery: A Jewish Healing Retreat, the first-ever gathering in a series conceived by Rabbi Deborah Newbrun as part of her training, held this month at Camp Tawonga in the Bay Area.
One of the requirements at the Pluralistic Rabbinical Seminary, where Newbrun was ordained last year in the first graduating class, “was that each of us had to do an innovation, or something that didn’t exist before,” she said.
Newbrun, who directed Camp Tawonga for more than two decades, has been recognized for innovative programming for such achievements as initiating Tawonga’s LGBT family camp and founding its wilderness department. She even won a prestigious 2018 Covenant Award for Jewish educators. But as she started thinking about how to fulfill the seminary requirement, her first thought was, “I don’t have any ideas left in me.”
Then she began reflecting back on her divorce years earlier. She remembered how she had approached numerous rabbis and colleagues in search of Jewish support around the grief she felt. And how they all came up empty-handed.
That’s when she realized: “I can put together something meaningful and helpful for people going through divorce.”
From the moment participants arrived at Camp Tawonga near Yosemite, they knew this would be no ordinary Jewish retreat. At the opening event, all of the facilitators, several clergy members and a therapist shared their own divorce stories, “to set the standard and normalize vulnerability, transparent sharing and establish that we all know what it’s like to have a marriage end,” Newbrun said.
Most participants were from the Bay Area, with a handful from farther afield. They were in different life stages, from those in their 30s dealing with custody battles over young children, to empty nesters in their 60s. Some had separated from their partners years ago, while others had gone their separate ways more recently. Some split amicably; a good many did not. But all had come up against a lack of Jewish resources or support when navigating this major life passage.
Rabbi Deborah Newbrun, the founder of Divorce and Discovery at the recent weekend. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Jaye said she left no stone unturned in seeking out support, an experience Newbrun said she heard echoed by many participants. Jaye attended a retreat at a local meditation center. She read self-help books. She joined a support group for divorcees. She went to therapy.
And while they all helped in different ways, none was specifically Jewish.
“I knew I needed some kind of spiritual way forward,” she said. “I needed to do this in my own language, with my own people.”
Even though the retreat came nearly a decade years after Jaye’s divorce, “it was profound. It felt like coming home, and that this is what I needed all along. This model could be extremely powerful. The rituals we did could be taught in rabbinical schools or to Jewish educators so it’s not just ‘sign this get and goodbye,’” she said, referring to the Jewish divorce document.
Rather than create new rituals, Newbrun and her facilitators took familiar Jewish rituals and retooled them.
The tashlich ritual, led by Newbrun and Maggid Jhos Singer, had a call-and-response portion, and participants also could call out what they personally wanted to cast off. “One person ‘tashliched’ their wedding ring into the river and felt it was such a perfect place to let it go!” said Newbrun.
An optional immersion in the Tuolumne River followed. Jaye, who years ago went to the mikvah alone, with only the attendant there for support, said there was no comparison with how much more healing it felt performing the ritual in community.
A session on sitting shiva for one’s marriage, led by Rabbi Sue Reinhold, allowed participants to share and mourn the loss of what they missed most about being married. That resonated for Robyn Lieberman, who does not attend synagogue services but went to every session at the retreat on innovating Jewish rituals.
“I did need to mourn what I’m losing,” said Lieberman, who had been married to an Israeli. “We had a very public, open house around Jewish religion, and a constant Israeli identity, which fulfilled my Jewish needs.”
Rabbi Jennie Chabon of Congregation B’nai Tikvah in Walnut Creek reflected on how much time she has spent with couples preparing for their wedding day, both in premarital counseling and in planning the event, and on how many marriage-related topics are covered in rabbinical school.
“And when it comes to divorce? Nothing,” Chabon said. “We’re all out here on our own trying to figure out how to wander through it.”
She was tasked with creating a havdalah ceremony with a divorce theme, in which she reimagined the wine, spices and flame typically used to mark a division between Shabbat and the rest of the week.
“There’s a fire that burns within each of us, and that flame doesn’t go out,” said Chabon, 47. “When you’re married for a long time, your identity, energy and spirit is so woven into that of another.” Her ritual was meant to affirm that “you are on fire just as you are, and you’re a blessing as an individual in the world. You don’t need a partnership or family to be whole.”
Even the Shabbat Torah service was on theme.
Rabbi Jennie Chabon reads from the Torah during a service at the Divorce and Discovery retreat. (Photo/Margot Yecies)
Rather than focusing on Noah’s emergence from the ark after the flood, Chabon spoke about a lesser-known section of the week’s Torah portion, in which Noah builds a fire and offers a sacrifice to God. But if the entire earth was drenched from the flood, Chabon asked, what did he burn?
“The answer is he must have burned the ark,” Chabon said in recalling her talk at the retreat. “What does that mean for people going through this incredibly painful and tender time in their lives, when what was once a safe container and secure and protected them, they have to burn it down in order to start life anew?
“This is a perfect rebirth metaphor. But what’s being birthed is a new self and a new identity in the world as a single person,” Chabon said. “You have to release and let go of what was to make room for the blessing for who you’re going to become.”
At a ritual “hackathon” workshop presented by Newbrun, participants suggested standing during Kaddish at synagogue to mourn their marriages, and offering their children a Friday night blessing that they are whole whether they are at either parent’s home.
Not all of the sessions centered on Jewish ritual. In a session on the Japanese art of kintsugi, or mending broken pottery, attendees made vessels whose cracks they fixed with putty, symbolizing that beauty can be found in imperfection. Many danced in a Saturday-night silent disco.
Everyone was assigned to a small group, or havurah, that they met with daily, so they could establish deeper connections within the larger cohort.
“To have gone through some of these practices was very meaningful to me,” said Lieberman. “It’s not like I put a seal on my marriage and wrapped it up in a bow and put it behind me, but it was a nice catharsis for completing a transition that I’ve been very thoughtful about.”
Newbrun aims to recreate the retreat in communities around the country. Both Jaye and Lieberman said they found value in being in community with people “who get it,” without the judgment they often face.
“I was a little skeptical that all I’d have in common with people was that we were Jewish and divorced, and that that wouldn’t be enough for me to form a relationship,” said Lieberman. “But having the willingness to talk about it and explore it did open up a lot of very vulnerable conversations. The expert facilitation really made us think about the fact that divorce is not about your paper [certificate], it’s about reexamining the direction of your life and who you want to be.”
A version of this piece originally ran in J. The Jewish News of Northern California, and is reprinted with permission.
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Women Wage Peace to hold Toronto event in memory of Vivian Silver
By BERNIE BELLAN (Posted MAY 11) In December 2023 we reported on a new fund that was being established in the name of the late Vivian Silver, who was a victim of the Hamas massacre on October 7, 2023.
The announcement of that fund came at a memorial event that was held here in Winnipeg on December 14, 2023. Among those in attendance were Vivian’s two sons: Yonatan and Chen Zeigen.
Vivian Silver was also one of the founders of “Women Wage Peace,” which has recently opened a Winnipeg chapter. Here is how Vivian’s role is described in information provided by Women Wage Peace: “A Canadian-born peace activist, Vivian dedicated her life to pursuing gender equality and fostering dialogue and partnership between Israelis and Palestinian communities. In 2014 she co-founded Women Wage Peace — Israel’s largest grassroots peace movement with recently developed chapters in Australia, Europe, South America, and here in Canada.”
At that December 14, 2023 event in Winnipeg, both of Vivian’s sons spoke of their mother. Here are some excerpts from their remarks:
Chen Zeigen said: We have seen our mother transformed into a symbol, but for us she will always remain a loving mother and grandmother.”
Chen noted that no matter what his mother was doing to help others, family was always important to her. “We’ll keep remembering her for the person she was, in all of her political activities and achievements.… They were part of it. But to me they were kind of secondary,” Chen said.
“She would march for her causes at noon and tuck us into bed at night,” he said. “She would orchestrate international peace rallies during the week and bake elaborate cakes for her grandchildren’s birthdays.”
“Winnipeg was a home away from home for our mother,” he added. “We would come here summers to be with our bobe and zaide” (the late Roslyn and Meyer Silver).
“To us, her sons, it didn’t matter what path we chose in life so long as it was meaningful to us. No matter what we did, she always had a hug for us.”
Yonatan Zeigen added: “It is said that the older you get the harder it is to make meaningful friends. That was not the case with our mother….She served as an unending source of energy and enthusiasm…She saw a mission in remaining involved in kibbutz responsibility.
“Her memory reminds us to keep hoping for a peaceful future,” Yonatan said.
In her name, he added, he and his brother were establishing a fund to recognize those working towards a shared society between Jews and Arabss.The Vivian Silver Memorial Fund. The proceeds will go towards recipients in Israel selected by her sons that exemplify her activism.
On Wednesday, June 4 in Toronto, Women Wage Peace Canada East, sponsored by the New Israel Fund Canada, will be presenting “In her Voice – the Vivian Silver Legacy Event.” The event will be raising funds for the Vivian Silver Impact Award.
We spoke with one of the organizers of the event, Lynne Mitchell, who grew up in Winnipeg with Vivian, having attended Peretz School with her and later, when they were both teens, were involved as president (Vivian) and vice president of Red River Region BBYO.
Lynne was at that December 2023 memorial event in Winnipeg and she recalls discussing – after the event, with Chen and Yonatan, what might be the most appropriate way they could honour Vivian’s legacy
Eventually, as Lynne describes it, the people organizing the Toronto event are sort of a “hodge podge…of Women Wage Peace Canada East, my family, and some grass roots people who wanted to be involved in it, including a Palestinian women – who remembers Vivian.”
“Our lead sponsor is the New Israel Fund of Canada,” Lynne explained, “because Vivian was on their board years ago and their executive director (whose name is Ben Murane) was captivated by her message also.”
“In Her Voice” will feature a variety of different media, including “music and art to create opportunities for reflection, inspiration, and hope.”
There will also be presentations by Vivian’s sons and a number of other speakers, including from a Palestinian woman who worked with Vivian in Israel for many years in NISPED-AJEEC Negev Institute for Peace and Economic Development)
The first recipients of the Vivian Silver Impact Award will also speak on video – one a Palestinian and the other an Israeli Jew.
Lynne Mitchell added that there are two things that the organizers of the event are hoping attendees will take from the event: “What makes a peacemaker and what can I do?”
One of the speakers,, recently arrived from Ramallah, has also long been dedicated to finding a peaceful path forward between Palestinian and Jewish Israelis. Lynne said that he was quite “astonished at how polarized our respective societies are here in Toronto.”
I asked her whether she thought it was any different in any other city and she admitted that it isn’t
But, just to put a more hopeful tinge to the ongoing tension between Canadian Jews and Palestinians, Lynne mentioned something else that is reflective of the willingness of at least some members of both communities to engage in a more meaningful dialogue.
“There are going to be two MCs for the evening,” Lynne noted. One will be her daughter, while the other will be a Palestinian Canadian woman .
There will be at least two members of the Winnipeg chapter of Women Wage Peace coming from Winnipeg to the event: Chana Thau and Esther Blum. In addition, Vivian’s sister Rachelle, along with her husband and one of her grandsons will be coming, along with Vivian’s brother Neil (who lives in Calgary), as well as many cousins of Vivian’s who live in Toronto.
Toward the end of my conversation with Lynne I referred to the terrible rift that had developed within our own Winnipeg Jewish community over BB Camp and said that there are many who have said we should remain silent about everything that’s gone on – to which Lynne responded: “No, we need to learn from it and not condemn each other and silence each other. That was Vivian’s perspective.”
If you are interested in attending or “donating to In Her Voice,” tickets can be purchased online at nifcan.org/inhervoice.
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JACQUELINE HOCHMAN JUNE 7, 1938 – APRIL 1, 2025
Jacqueline “Jackie” Hochman passed away peacefully on April 1, 2025 at the Simkin Centre in Winnipeg at the age of 86.
Jackie was born on June 7, 1938. She is predeceased by her husband Sam, daughter Robyn, parents Samuel and Bertha “Birdie” Niznick, and brother Allyn.
Jackie will be deeply missed by her remaining children, Marshall and Shawn (Karen), her grandchildren, Hannah, Daniel (Jodi), and Freya (and her partner, Spencer), and her great-granddaughter, Haisley.
Her children and grandchildren were her world. Jackie will be remembered for her fierce love and unwavering devotion to family. Sam, her husband of 65 years, loved her with every fibre of his being. May her memory be a blessing. In lieu of flowers, the family kindly requests that donations be made to the Saul and Claribel Simkin Centre.
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Samsung Washing Machine Repair: Frequent Issues and Professional Fixes
When your Samsung washing machine begins acting up, it can throw your entire laundry routine into chaos. Even with cutting-edge technology and sleek designs, these appliances can develop issues that range from minor glitches to major malfunctions. This comprehensive guide will take you through the most common problems encountered with Samsung washers, walk you through initial diagnostic steps, and explain when and why professional repairs become essential. For more detailed repair insights, Discover more here.
Understanding the Challenges
Samsung washing machines are celebrated for their innovative features, energy efficiency, and robust performance. Yet, like all complex machinery, they are susceptible to wear and tear. Users often report issues such as:
- Error Codes: Cryptic digital messages indicating malfunctioning sensors or control board errors.
- Water Drainage Problems: Incomplete draining leading to wet clothes or water pooling in the drum.
- Excessive Vibration or Noise: Unusual sounds during spin cycles, often a sign of imbalance or mechanical wear.
- Leaking Water: Water escaping from the machine, which can damage floors and other nearby surfaces.
- Door Lock or Latch Failures: Problems with door sensors or locking mechanisms that prevent the machine from starting.
- Motor or Pump Issues: Malfunctions that affect the washer’s ability to agitate, drain, or complete cycles properly.
Each of these issues may have different root causes, and understanding them is the first step to determining whether you can fix it yourself or need professional assistance.
Step-by-Step Diagnostic Process
Before jumping into repairs, it is wise to perform a systematic diagnostic check. Begin by noting any error codes displayed on your machine’s control panel. Samsung models typically provide codes such as “4E” (water inlet issues) or “5E” (drainage errors), which can guide your troubleshooting efforts.
Initial Checks:
- Power and Settings: Ensure the washer is properly plugged in and that the selected cycle includes the drain phase.
- Water Supply: Verify that the water inlet is unobstructed and that water pressure is sufficient. Low water pressure can sometimes trigger fill errors.
- Drainage System: Inspect the drain hose for kinks or blockages. Remove any debris that may hinder the water flow.
Advanced Checks: For more persistent issues, consider:
- Cleaning filters and pump components to remove lint or foreign objects.
- Checking sensor contacts and wiring for signs of corrosion or loose connections.
- Observing the machine during a test cycle to listen for unusual noises that might indicate a failing motor or pump.
These steps can help determine if the problem is a simple fix you can handle on your own, such as clearing a clogged hose, or if it indicates a more severe fault.
When Professional Repairs Are Necessary
While basic troubleshooting can resolve many issues, there are cases when professional repair is the safer and more effective route:
- Complex Electronic Failures: If your washer is displaying persistent error codes or the control board seems unresponsive, professional diagnostics are crucial to avoid further damage.
- Mechanical Breakdowns: Problems with the motor, pump, or internal transmission often require specialized tools and expertise to repair correctly.
- Warranty Considerations: If your Samsung washer is still under warranty, attempting a DIY repair could void it. Authorized technicians use approved parts and methods to maintain your warranty’s validity.
- Safety Risks: Any repairs involving electrical components or high-voltage parts should be handled by professionals to prevent injury.
When in doubt, it’s best to consult a certified repair service. Professionals have access to manufacturer-specific repair manuals and diagnostic tools that increase the likelihood of a lasting fix.
Professional Fixes: What to Expect
A reputable service technician will start by running a complete diagnostic test on your Samsung washing machine. Once the issue is identified, they may take actions such as:
- Replacing faulty sensors or electronic control boards that trigger error codes.
- Cleaning or replacing clogged filters, drain hoses, and pump components to restore proper drainage.
- Rebalancing or repairing motor assemblies to reduce excessive vibration and noise.
- Fixing or replacing door locks and latches to ensure safety and proper operation.
The goal of a professional repair is not only to fix the immediate issue but also to provide preventive advice to reduce the likelihood of future malfunctions. Technicians often inspect related components that might soon wear out, recommending part replacements as needed to avoid recurring problems.
Preventive Maintenance: Tips for Longevity
Keeping your Samsung washing machine in peak condition requires a blend of regular maintenance and occasional professional check-ups. Here are some effective strategies:
- Regular Cleaning: Clean the filter, drain hose, and pump area at least once a month to remove lint and debris.
- Descaling: In areas with hard water, mineral deposits can affect performance. Use a descaling agent as recommended by the manufacturer.
- Proper Loading: Avoid overloading the washer, which can strain the motor and pump, and always use the appropriate amount of detergent.
- Periodic Professional Inspections: Schedule an annual service call to ensure that all components are functioning correctly and to replace any parts showing signs of wear.
- Follow the Manual: Always refer to the user manual for specific maintenance recommendations tailored to your model.
By adopting these habits, you not only prevent common issues but also extend the overall lifespan of your appliance.
Case Studies: Real-World Success Stories
Consider the experience of Emily, who noticed her Samsung washer repeatedly displaying a “5E” error—indicative of a drainage problem. After a thorough DIY inspection revealed a partially blocked drain hose, she still encountered intermittent issues. Emily then called a professional repair service, which discovered a worn-out pump impeller. Replacing this part not only resolved the error but also improved the machine’s overall efficiency.
In another instance, James’s Samsung washer started to vibrate excessively during spin cycles. What began as a minor annoyance quickly escalated into a concern about potential damage. Professional technicians found that the machine’s suspension system was compromised, and they rebalanced the unit while replacing worn-out shock absorbers. The result was a quieter, more stable machine that James could rely on for years to come.
Samsung washing machines are built to offer convenience and efficiency, but even the best appliances need proper care and occasional expert attention. Whether you’re a DIY enthusiast or prefer to call in the professionals, understanding the common issues and their solutions is key to keeping your machine in top shape. With proactive maintenance and timely repairs, you can ensure that your washer not only lasts longer but also continues to perform at its best.
Embrace preventive practices, know when to take matters into your own hands, and don’t hesitate to seek professional help when needed. In doing so, you safeguard your investment and enjoy the seamless, stress-free operation of your Samsung washing machine for years to come.
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