Local News
Chesed Shel Emes panel delves into different aspects of death and dying
By MYRON LOVE They say there are two things you can count on in life – death and taxes. I don’t know about taxes – but no one escapes death.
When we are younger, few give much thought to dying. As we age though, we come ever closer to that final reality. The best we can hope for – in my view – is to live to a relatively old age in relatively good health and pass away quickly – preferably in your sleep.
So what would one consider a “good death?” That was one of the questions that was discussed by a panel of three experts on the subject who appeared together on Sunday, November 24, in a program at the Chesed Shel Emes titled: “The Last Stop – Reflections on Living and Dying”.
(The Chesed Shel Emes is our community’s non-profit Jewish funeral chapel; the only one of its kind in North America).
About 180 people were in attendance – both in person and online, as independent Rabbi Matthew Leibl, palliative care specialist Dr. Bruce Martin, and Dr. Harvey Max Chochinov, a psychiatrist who is one of the world’s authorities on the subject of the emotional aspects surrounding death and dying, shared their experiences and perspectives. Alison Gilmur, popular culture and lifestyles reporter for the Free Press. served as the moderator.
A “good death” – as opposed to a “bad death” – is important for patients and families alike, Chochinov noted.
“Is dying in your sleep a good death?” Rabbi Leibl asked. “That depends on both the individual and the family. It certainly doesn’t give the individual much time to think about it beforehand. I think the major concern for most people is that death be as painless as possible.”
“The problem is that you only die once,” Chochinov pointed out. “There is no rehearsal. Many fear the unknown. And you don’t know what the path will be, what it will be like for you. Or if you will still be you afterward.”
Gilmour asked the panelists what people fear most about dying? Chochinov cited the case of one woman who refused to take her medication because she feared it would make her confused – the way it had her mother prior to her death. Reassuring her that she was in capable hands allowed her to accept proper pain management and die peacefully.
Another anecdote from Chochinov concerned the case of a young woman who was facing death – with a young family and a young child at hand. “She was concerned that her little girl would have no memory of her,” Chochinov noted. “We completed something called Dignity Therapy, which allowed her to create a written legacy that would eventually be shared with her child.”
Rabbi Leibl referred to a member of the Shaarey Zedek who had been suffering for some time. She chose to die at home but, before her passing, she asked her children to leave the room. She and the rabbi talked.
“I asked if she was afraid,” he recalled. “She said that she wasn’t afraid, but that she worried that she would never see her family again.”
Dr. Martin noted that every death is personal. “There is no common thread,’ he said. “A last conversation can be profound or trivial.
“One concern for the dying is not being able to live to see their grandchildren grow up and the shared moments they will miss.”
Chochinov also added that some people are worried about the process of dying and what it may be like. “While dying is inevitable, suffering ought not to be”.
Gilmour asked what people can do to help comfort someone who is dying?
Chochinov’s answer was simple: “Be sure to show up”. “When you know someone is dying,” he noted, “for many the impulse is to stay away, to withdraw. You don’t know what to say,” he observed. “Don’t try to fix what can’t be fixed. But do show up and listen.”
Martin recalled a former mentor who suggested that the most important question that someone who is visiting someone who is terminally ill is: ‘What can you do to help?’ “
“People who are dying don’t need to be reminded about it,” Rabbi Leibl observed. “Although every case is different, a visitor should talk to the afflicted individual the same way you would talk to anyone else. You can talk about life, for example, or what you are reading, or a show you are watching together.”
Gilmour concluded her questioning by bringing up the issue of government-approved Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID) – medically assisted suicide.
A number of liberal rabbis Are in favour of MAID, Rabbi Leibl noted. “Judaism however dictates that we must do everything we can to prevent death,” he pointed out.
“I have officiated at funerals for a few people who have chosen IAID,” he reported. “One such funeral was for a Holocaust survivor – in her 90s. I spoke with her the day before she died. She was at peace. I viewed what she was doing as courageous.”
Chochinov said it is also important to look at factors that can undermine a patient’s will to live, such as poorly controlled pain, limited access to palliative care and lack of supports, including respite.“MAID is driven by a desire for personal autonomy,” he observed. “It was originally designed as an option for patients who were suffering and facing a reasonably foreseeable death.” Eligibility criteria have been expanded, making patients not imminently dying, but suffering, able to request MAiD.He expressed grave concerns about extending MAiD for people who are mentally ill. “We simply can’t know which of these patients might improve with adequate time, support and care.”
In response to a later follow-up question from a member from the audience, Bruce Martin added that, in the case of people with dementia and MAID, the latter may prevent children and grandchildren from spending more time with the parent/ grandparent. After all, who then decides when the time is right?
The panelists were asked about talking about death and dying and how to cope. Martin noted that when he speaks to kids in schools, there is a lot of interest in the subject.
A question about planned giving elicited a comment from Chochinov about the importance of not only leaving a will, but letting family know what your wishes are. “It’s never too early to talk about these things”, he said, “but if you put it off long enough, there may come a time when it’s too late”.
Local News
A local vocal extravaganza
By Dr. RAY SINGER I just experienced a revelatory weekend of superb vocal music, about which I wanted to share.
First, on attending Shaarey Zedek for Shabbat morning services I was pleasantly amazed at what was transpiring: Marlaina Sommer was beautifully singing her way through her own Bat Mitzvah service. Having married into a famous local musical family, I was not surprised also to hear her daughter and son-in-law, Sarah Sommer and Justin Odwak, sing – with their ethereal voices flowing over the congregants. Spouse and father Hillel provided percussion.
That was just for starters. My wife and I then attended the first concert in the Asper Jazz Series to hear the New York Voices in their Grand Finale concert tour, Winnipeg being the only Canadian stop on their tour.
Singing as a quartet for 38 years, their jazz singing was superb – with intricate harmonies, scat solos and amazing jazz vocals in the style of Lambert, Hendricks and Ross. They displayed exquisite control, and also interacted well with the audience.
Our final vocal musical experience was most revelatory and meaningful. This event was held on Sunday in the Laudamus theatre on the C.M. U. campus
It was organized by the Women’s Music Club of Winnipeg. Little did I know that club has been bringing in musicians of world stature for 130 years. If not for the kindness of our neighbours, Professors Harry and Mary Lynn Duckworth, we would not have known of this concert, entitled: “In a Dark Blue Night.” The title was written in both English and Yiddish in the program notes.
The music was performed by two wondrous musicians: Isabelle David, pianist and Sara Schabas, solo soprano. They performed a song cycle by the Pulitzer Prize-nominated, N.Y.C.-based Jewish composer Alex Weiser.
The first half of the concert consisted of Leiders by Viennese composers of the early to mid-20th century, all of whom were Jewish or in relationships with other Jewish composers. The composers included: Arnold Schoenberg, Alma Mahler, Erich Korngold, and others. Sara’s rendering of their songs and poems set to music was transcendent and emotive.
The narrator of theevent, Nolan Kehler, himself a musician and music radio host, was excellent in detailing the Zeitgeist around those Viennese composers and how they had to flee Vienna in the late ’30s. At least two were murdered in the Holocaust.
The second half of the concert was even more amazing. Alex Weiser composed music to accompany selected poems written by Jewish immigrants to New York early in the 20th century. Sara, having sung most of the songs in the first half in German, and one in English, then sang those poems beautifully – this time in Yiddish. Then, as a finale she sang a Gershwin medley. To add icing to this note-worthy cake, the pianist played the most challenging dramatic part of “Rhapsody in Blue,” knocking it out of the park
Thus, in one weekend I heard a Sarah and a Sara, and am grateful for our musical riches, especially brought to Winnipeg by both the Mennonite and Jewish communities. I am no music reviewer, but can appreciate the talent and artistry displayed by both Isabelle’s David and by Sara Schabas And, great news: Sara, who is from Montreal has landed a job teaching in the Desautels Faculty of Music. Hopefully many more of us will get a chance to hear her.
Local News
Jewish Foundation Endowment Book Of Life program Sunday, November 1st
By BERNIE BELLAN The Jewish Foundation of Manitoba first launched its Endowment Book of Life legacy programme in 1998.
This charitable initiative allows donors to promise a future bequest to the foundation in exchange for having their personal history, family experiences, and philanthropic values permanently inscribed in a physical and digital archive.
On Sunday morning, November 1, the Jewish Foundation held its most recent Endowment Book of Life event followed by a brunch at the Shaarey Zedek Synagogue. There were five new entries into the Book of Life, from: Brownie Fleishman – in memory of her parents, Beryl and Esther Pierce; Marilyn Goldberg – in memory of her husband, Dr. Norman Goldberg; Melissa Rice – in memory of her husband, Richard Rice; Sharon Wolchock, in memory of her husband, Sid Wolchock; and Anna and Lyle Silverman.
The signers were introduced by Jewish Foundation CEO John Diamond, who, in addressing the signers, said: “Your stories, your generosity, and your commitment to the future of our community will continue to inspire others for generations to come. Thank you for making this meaningful commitment.”
Diamond read excerpts from what the signers had written in the Book of Life or described what had led some of them to be motivated to want to be part of the Book of Life.
From Brownie Fleishman’s inscription about her parents, Beryl and Esther Pierce, Diamond read: “The story of the Pierce family began in Winnipeg in the early 20th century, when Beryl and Esther Pierce came to Canada to establish a new life for themselves and their children.
“Beryl Benjamin Pierce was born in 1883 in Poltova, then part of the Russian Empire, and now Ukraine. He immigrated to Canada in 1912 and settled in Winnipeg, where he became a pioneer in the fur industry. A skilled designer and cutter, he established Pierce Fur Company in the Exchange District. The building that housed that business was later designated a municipal historic building.”
From Marilyn Goldberg’s inscription about her late husband, Norman: “Norman had a deep connection to Judaism and to the Jewish community. He attended synagogue regularly and served on the boards of both the Rosh Pina and the Shaarey Zedek synagogues. He was a leader in the efforts to change the Shaarey Zedek cemetery rules to allow interfaith couples to be buried together. His commitment to Tikun Olam extended to reaching out to the larger world. He helped lead the community’s efforts to settle refugees from Darfur.
“Our children characterized his faith this way: ‘His was a Judaism that was not orthodox in practice, but deeply rooted in Jewish values, tradition, and faith. This led him to good deeds, good words, a good life.’ “
From Melissa Rice’s inscription about her late husband, Richard: “Richard was immensely proud of his Jewish faith and heritage. He celebrated his bar mitzvah, participated in Kadima and AZA, and formed friendships that would last a lifetime.
“His close friend circle included and many who shared countless adventures, misadventures, and laughs over the years. Their friendships endured because Richard understood something important. Relationships require time, loyalty, and commitment.”
John Diamond spoke about Anna and Lyle Silverman’s long commitment to the Jewish community: “Both Anna and Lyle have always been strong philanthropic supporters of the local Jewish community, of Israel, and of Holocaust education.
“A commitment that was reinforced a few years ago after they had participated in an emotionally draining and unforgettable March of the Living trip that took them to the gates of Auschwitz. Their ongoing support of the Jewish community is also inspired by Anna’s memory of the tremendous help that her family received from the Hebrew Immigrant Aid Society when they landed in Montreal as refugees. Their story goes on to say they have been lucky in love and in business, and now as they continue to enjoy a long, comfortable, and well deserved retirement, they are eager to share their good fortune with others. ‘We have a wonderful life and couldn’t ask for anything more,’ Lyle says, ‘so now it is time to give back.’
“Through hard work, a commitment to education, and a strong connection to their Jewish community, they built a family whose succeeding generations continue to benefit from the opportunities they created.”
Diamond said this about Sharon Wolchock’s inscription about her late husband, Sid: “Sid was Sharon’s biggest supporter. Her volunteer work with the National Council of Jewish Women and the Jewish Federation mattered as much to him as his own legal career, and he backed it fully. He wanted Sharon and their daughters rooted in the Jewish community in whatever way suited each of them. In 1983, on Sid and Sharon’s first trip to Israel, Sid’s lifelong connection with the Jewish state was born.
“Sid’s love of aviation and history and his pride in being a Jew emerged during that trip. He became a passionate supporter of Israel’s soldiers and donated club rooms on two Air Force bases named for his brothers Harvey and Bernie so that the hardworking and often underappreciated technical crews had somewhere pleasant to relax.”
Following the ceremonial signing ceremony, guests in attendance were treated to entertainment by a quartet of talented singers: Julia Kroft, Josh Bellan, Alyssa Crockett, and Vinnie Alberto.
Closing out the day’s programme, current Jewish Foundation Board Chair Dafna Shore paid tribute to this year’s signers – and to the more than 800 signers of the Book of Life who had preceded them:
Shore said: “What makes this program so extraordinary and why it continues to resonate with so many people is the opportunity it gives us to share the stories that shape who we are, stories that might not otherwise have been told.
“Through the Endowment Book of Life, these stories are given a permanent home. Together, they form a living history of Jewish life in Manitoba, one filled with resilience, compassion, humor, and hope. These stories are more than a record of the past. They offer lessons for the future, showing generations to come, what it means to belong, to give, and to take responsibility for the strength of our community. Thank you for adding your voice and your vision.
“To this collection and for making a legacy commitment to the Jewish Foundation of Manitoba, your generation helps ensure that the programs, schools, and organizations that sustain Jewish life here will continue to thrive for generations to come.
“One of the great privileges of serving as chair is helping advance the Foundation’s mission, securing our community’s future while supporting its growth today. The Endowment Book of Life embodies that mission beautifully. It reminds us that each of us in our own way has the power to make a lasting difference.
“As we reflect on the importance of leaving a lasting legacy, I’d also like to take a moment to remember two valued members of the Jewish Foundation and Manitoba family who we lost this past year, Sheldon Berney and Lillian Neaman.
“Both served as governors of the Foundation, demonstrating their commitment to our community through their leadership and service. We are grateful for their contributions and the role they played in helping strengthen the foundation. Their memories remind us that a lasting legacy is built through the generosity, dedication, and commitment of those that came before us. May their memories be a blessing.
“As long as members of our community continue to invest in tomorrow, through their generosity, their readership, and their willingness to share their stories, Jewish life in Manitoba will continue to flourish. Thank you all for being part of that story.”
Local News
Application filed by two former members of Etz Chayim Congregation against the congregation to have their memberships restored dismissed by judge
The following is taken from the Canadian Jewish News website: “Manitoba’s Court of King’s Bench has dismissed Hadass Eviatar and David Hoult’s application challenging the termination of their membership at Congregation Etz Chayim. In his decision, Justice Vic Toews noted that, although Hoult’s letter describing a hypothetical attack on the synagogue may have lacked sensitivity given the political climate, he did not intend to threaten violence against congregants. However, the judge ruled that the court did not have jurisdiction to intervene in the membership dispute under Manitoba’s Corporations Act, finding that the couple had no financial, proprietary or economic interest that would entitle them to the remedies they sought. The judge concluded that religious organizations are generally free to determine their own membership rules and ordered each side to bear its own legal costs.”
If you would like to read the original article that broke the story about the battle between Hadaass Eviatar and David Hoult with Etz Chayim Congregation you can go to Epic Court Battle.”
