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Chesed Shel Emes panel delves into different aspects of death and dying
By MYRON LOVE They say there are two things you can count on in life – death and taxes. I don’t know about taxes – but no one escapes death.
When we are younger, few give much thought to dying. As we age though, we come ever closer to that final reality. The best we can hope for – in my view – is to live to a relatively old age in relatively good health and pass away quickly – preferably in your sleep.
So what would one consider a “good death?” That was one of the questions that was discussed by a panel of three experts on the subject who appeared together on Sunday, November 24, in a program at the Chesed Shel Emes titled: “The Last Stop – Reflections on Living and Dying”.
(The Chesed Shel Emes is our community’s non-profit Jewish funeral chapel; the only one of its kind in North America).
About 180 people were in attendance – both in person and online, as independent Rabbi Matthew Leibl, palliative care specialist Dr. Bruce Martin, and Dr. Harvey Max Chochinov, a psychiatrist who is one of the world’s authorities on the subject of the emotional aspects surrounding death and dying, shared their experiences and perspectives. Alison Gilmur, popular culture and lifestyles reporter for the Free Press. served as the moderator.
A “good death” – as opposed to a “bad death” – is important for patients and families alike, Chochinov noted.
“Is dying in your sleep a good death?” Rabbi Leibl asked. “That depends on both the individual and the family. It certainly doesn’t give the individual much time to think about it beforehand. I think the major concern for most people is that death be as painless as possible.”
“The problem is that you only die once,” Chochinov pointed out. “There is no rehearsal. Many fear the unknown. And you don’t know what the path will be, what it will be like for you. Or if you will still be you afterward.”
Gilmour asked the panelists what people fear most about dying? Chochinov cited the case of one woman who refused to take her medication because she feared it would make her confused – the way it had her mother prior to her death. Reassuring her that she was in capable hands allowed her to accept proper pain management and die peacefully.
Another anecdote from Chochinov concerned the case of a young woman who was facing death – with a young family and a young child at hand. “She was concerned that her little girl would have no memory of her,” Chochinov noted. “We completed something called Dignity Therapy, which allowed her to create a written legacy that would eventually be shared with her child.”
Rabbi Leibl referred to a member of the Shaarey Zedek who had been suffering for some time. She chose to die at home but, before her passing, she asked her children to leave the room. She and the rabbi talked.
“I asked if she was afraid,” he recalled. “She said that she wasn’t afraid, but that she worried that she would never see her family again.”
Dr. Martin noted that every death is personal. “There is no common thread,’ he said. “A last conversation can be profound or trivial.
“One concern for the dying is not being able to live to see their grandchildren grow up and the shared moments they will miss.”
Chochinov also added that some people are worried about the process of dying and what it may be like. “While dying is inevitable, suffering ought not to be”.
Gilmour asked what people can do to help comfort someone who is dying?
Chochinov’s answer was simple: “Be sure to show up”. “When you know someone is dying,” he noted, “for many the impulse is to stay away, to withdraw. You don’t know what to say,” he observed. “Don’t try to fix what can’t be fixed. But do show up and listen.”
Martin recalled a former mentor who suggested that the most important question that someone who is visiting someone who is terminally ill is: ‘What can you do to help?’ “
“People who are dying don’t need to be reminded about it,” Rabbi Leibl observed. “Although every case is different, a visitor should talk to the afflicted individual the same way you would talk to anyone else. You can talk about life, for example, or what you are reading, or a show you are watching together.”
Gilmour concluded her questioning by bringing up the issue of government-approved Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID) – medically assisted suicide.
A number of liberal rabbis Are in favour of MAID, Rabbi Leibl noted. “Judaism however dictates that we must do everything we can to prevent death,” he pointed out.
“I have officiated at funerals for a few people who have chosen IAID,” he reported. “One such funeral was for a Holocaust survivor – in her 90s. I spoke with her the day before she died. She was at peace. I viewed what she was doing as courageous.”
Chochinov said it is also important to look at factors that can undermine a patient’s will to live, such as poorly controlled pain, limited access to palliative care and lack of supports, including respite.“MAID is driven by a desire for personal autonomy,” he observed. “It was originally designed as an option for patients who were suffering and facing a reasonably foreseeable death.” Eligibility criteria have been expanded, making patients not imminently dying, but suffering, able to request MAiD.He expressed grave concerns about extending MAiD for people who are mentally ill. “We simply can’t know which of these patients might improve with adequate time, support and care.”
In response to a later follow-up question from a member from the audience, Bruce Martin added that, in the case of people with dementia and MAID, the latter may prevent children and grandchildren from spending more time with the parent/ grandparent. After all, who then decides when the time is right?
The panelists were asked about talking about death and dying and how to cope. Martin noted that when he speaks to kids in schools, there is a lot of interest in the subject.
A question about planned giving elicited a comment from Chochinov about the importance of not only leaving a will, but letting family know what your wishes are. “It’s never too early to talk about these things”, he said, “but if you put it off long enough, there may come a time when it’s too late”.
Local News
Nakba exhibit at human rights museum set to open despite mounting criticism
By NOAH STRAUSS (posted June 25) The Canadian Museum for Human Rights’ Nakba exhibit is scheduled to open this Saturday, June 27, despite growing criticism and calls for it to be delayed or revised. The exhibit has sparked public debate in Winnipeg and beyond regarding how it presents the history surrounding the creation of the State of Israel.
Earlier this week, Mark Berlin resigned from the museum’s board. In his resignation letter, he expressed concern that the exhibit presents a one-sided narrative and does not adequately address the experiences of Jewish communities affected by the events surrounding Israel’s independence.
The Nakba, an Arabic word meaning “catastrophe,” refers to the displacement of hundreds of thousands of Palestinians during the 1947–1949 conflict that followed the creation of the State of Israel. Critics of the exhibit argue that it focuses primarily on Palestinian displacement without sufficiently acknowledging the broader regional consequences of the period.
Some Jewish advocacy groups also point to the experiences of Jews who left or were expelled from several Arab and Muslim-majority countries in the decades surrounding Israel’s creation. Estimates suggest that between 850,000 and 950,000 Jews left or were displaced from countries including Iraq, Egypt, and Yemen, under a range of circumstances including persecution, expulsion, and confiscation of property.
In his resignation letter, Berlin, a faculty member at McGill University specializing in human rights law, wrote, “Telling the story with a one-sided perspective chosen by the museum serves to deepen division and contributes to further hostility toward Jews in Canada.”
Following his resignation, CIJA President Noah Shack released a statement saying, “The resignation of the museum’s only Jewish board member is a clear indictment of the museum’s handling of the controversial ‘Nakba’ exhibit.”
The exhibit’s VIP opening is expected to include invitations to representatives from all three levels of government. Winnipeg Mayor Scott Gillingham had initially been invited but later declined following discussions with representatives from the Jewish community, including CIJA Manitoba Vice President Gustavo Zentner and Jeff Lieberman, President and CEO of the Jewish Federation of Winnipeg.
Members of Winnipeg’s Jewish community are also planning a peaceful rally outside the museum on Friday at 5 p.m., according to organizers.
The Canadian Museum for Human Rights is expected to release a formal statement ahead of the exhibit’s opening.
Local News
Jewish Child and Family Service helped over 1800 families in 2025
By BERNIE BELLAN Jewish Child and Family Service will be entering the 75th year of its existence in 2027.
With a budget over $4,300,000, JCFS is also the largest beneficiary of funding from the Jewish Federation of the 12 Winnipeg Jewish community agencies that are beneficiaries of the Federation. (To see a list of the 12 agencies go to Funding for Beneficiary Agencies.)
Its impact has grown over the years as JCFS has expanded its horizon, continually adding to the many services it provides. During the JCFS’s Annual General Meeting, held in the Seniors’ Lounge of the Asper Campus on Tuesday evening, June 23, the important role that JCFS plays in the lives of so many members of the Jewish community – also a significant number of non-Jews as well, various speakers cited the many ways in which JCFS has continued to have such a huge impact.
With total revenues of $4,325,160 in fiscal year 2025 (which ended March 31, 2026), but slightly fewer expenses, JCFS not only delivered a wide gamut of services, it managed to deliver those services without incurring a deficit in 2025, despite some significant financial challenges.
As outgoing Board Chair Elana Grinshteyn observed, JCFS had to navigate some major reductions in funding, including a cut in funding from the federal government to the tune of $100,000, plus the loss of funding from the Claims Conference, which had provided support for Holocaust survivors.
Yet, despite those setbacks in funding, Grinshtein reported, “Together, we insured that services remained intact.
“We increased access to interest free loans,” she noted, “doubling” the amount that had been allocated in 2024.
And, amidst the ever-increasing demand for services, “JCFS has continued to navigate space limitations,” Grinshteyn noted. (I should note that as far back as 2019 I reported in an interview I had conducted with JCFS CEO Al Benarroch about the JCFS’s dire need for more space. Here is an excerpt from what Benarroch had to say about the JCFS’s need for more room back in 2019: “…we’ve been looking for roughly 3,000 more square feet of space. We have a footprint right now of roughly 5,000 square feet for over 40 staff. We’ve given up a board room here. It’s been taken over by older adult service staff. We have a conference room which is adjacent to the board room; we’ve moved two staff in there.
“Yesterday I gave up my office for the entire morning so that staff could interview clients.
“We need to relieve the pressure we’re facing right now – yet alone plan for expanding and growing.
“Whatever space we’d be looking at would be temporary. It’s now 22 years that we’ve been in this facility. The campus has taken over squash courts, it’s taken over a museum – internally, to accommodate the growth in services. Maybe it’s time now to look at growing outside this building…”
As the saying goes: “Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.” (That’s me, trying to impress.)
While I tried to take notes during Al Benarroch’s CEO report, I realized following his remarks that there was so much important information conveyed, also a slew of statistics, that it might be more helpful to reprint a good portion of what he said verbatim, so I asked Al to send me a copy of his remarks. (That’s one of the nice things about writing on a website. There’s an infinite amount of room to print the kind of stuff that nerds like me pretend to read.)
During his CEO’s report, Benarroch enumerated the many challenges JCFS encountered in 2025.
Among those challenges, Benarroch noted, were:
• The rising and high cost of living
• Food insecurity
• Housing issues
• Our aging population demographics
• The complex needs of our newcomer families
• The increasingly complex needs in mental health & youth mental health
Yet, despite all those challenges, Benarroch said, “As always… we rose to meet those head on, and with the support of our community.”
In particular, Benarroch cited the support of the Jewish Federation, which contributed $948,800 to JCFS in 2025. (The largest portion of JCFS funding, by the way came from the Province: over $1,100,000.)
Fundraising also played a significant role in contributing to JCFS revenues, with almost $700,000 raised through that route, including direct donations of over $320,000 and bequests over $40,000.
As Benarroch noted, “Every year, we look forward with hope that it will be a quiet year.
“Well, if that’s the case, we are in the wrong business.
“We happen to be in the reflect, respond and pivot business.
“This is the nature of the human existence.”
Benarroch went on to add some more statistics about how JCFS played such a pivotal role in the lives of so many people. In 2025 JCFS:
• Served 1,800 client households – impacting almost 5,000 people.
• Assisted 15 foster children.
• Served 70 families in Child Welfare….
“But what is even more important is that we assisted 90 children that remained at home with their families,” Benarroch said.
The year 2025 also saw the inauguration of what is known as the “Asper Empowerment Program”, through which:
• 311 clients were assisted (including Passover Assistance)
• $80,000 was disbursed in financial assistance
• Over $20,000 was given out in interest-free loans.
• 6,500 kg of food were disbursed
In the area of mental health and counselling services, Benarroch noted that JCFS:
• Supported over 50 adults with mental health challenges
• Our Friday Mental Health Wellness Group participants took part in 22 group activities or outings
• We support some 20 individuals and families impacted by addictions through individual and group services.
• We delivered almost 1,100 counselling sessions, over half of which were subsidized on our sliding scale.
• We continued to support individuals, families, and partner Jewish organizations with the ongoing emotional impacts of the war in Israel and high levels of global antisemitism.
In the area of support for older adults, JCFS served over 250 seniors including:
• 70 newcomer seniors
• 50 seniors living with mental health differences
• 65 Holocaust Survivors (including celebrating “25 years of our Holocaust Survivor Drop-in Group, a partnership with the Gwen Secter Creative Living Centre.”)
In the area of settlement services, JCFS:
• Welcomed almost 80 new families
• Almost 50 families from Israel, seeking reprieve from the ongoing stresses and pressures of the war.
Benarroch noted that “These families are dealing with the deep trauma of displacement, having lived under constant stress, fear and the ensuing post-traumatic impact, family and parenting challenges as a result, emotional exhaustion, financial strain, and more.
“Thanks to the Jewish Foundation of Manitoba, we hired a trained specialized support worker, with a background in therapy, to help these families cope, adjust, and receive much needed emotional supports.”
Benarroch went on to describe many more initiatives in which JCFS was engaged in 2025, but I want to return to the retirement of Elena Grinshteyn from the Board of JCFS after nine years serving on the Board, including the last two as Chair. Grinshteyn will be succeed by Bradley Abells, who has been on the Board since 2021. In his remarks, Abells noted that he is an actuary at Canada Life and that he first joined the Board when his particular expertise as an actuary proved extremely helpful in helping to solve a problem that had arisen, and he found the experience so rewarding he decided to remain on the Board ever since .
Also on the Board is Michael Schacter, who is returning as Treasurer and who looks the way you’d expect a finance guy to look.
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