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Chesed Shel Emes panel delves into different aspects of death and dying
By MYRON LOVE They say there are two things you can count on in life – death and taxes. I don’t know about taxes – but no one escapes death.
When we are younger, few give much thought to dying. As we age though, we come ever closer to that final reality. The best we can hope for – in my view – is to live to a relatively old age in relatively good health and pass away quickly – preferably in your sleep.
So what would one consider a “good death?” That was one of the questions that was discussed by a panel of three experts on the subject who appeared together on Sunday, November 24, in a program at the Chesed Shel Emes titled: “The Last Stop – Reflections on Living and Dying”.
(The Chesed Shel Emes is our community’s non-profit Jewish funeral chapel; the only one of its kind in North America).
About 180 people were in attendance – both in person and online, as independent Rabbi Matthew Leibl, palliative care specialist Dr. Bruce Martin, and Dr. Harvey Max Chochinov, a psychiatrist who is one of the world’s authorities on the subject of the emotional aspects surrounding death and dying, shared their experiences and perspectives. Alison Gilmur, popular culture and lifestyles reporter for the Free Press. served as the moderator.
A “good death” – as opposed to a “bad death” – is important for patients and families alike, Chochinov noted.
“Is dying in your sleep a good death?” Rabbi Leibl asked. “That depends on both the individual and the family. It certainly doesn’t give the individual much time to think about it beforehand. I think the major concern for most people is that death be as painless as possible.”
“The problem is that you only die once,” Chochinov pointed out. “There is no rehearsal. Many fear the unknown. And you don’t know what the path will be, what it will be like for you. Or if you will still be you afterward.”
Gilmour asked the panelists what people fear most about dying? Chochinov cited the case of one woman who refused to take her medication because she feared it would make her confused – the way it had her mother prior to her death. Reassuring her that she was in capable hands allowed her to accept proper pain management and die peacefully.
Another anecdote from Chochinov concerned the case of a young woman who was facing death – with a young family and a young child at hand. “She was concerned that her little girl would have no memory of her,” Chochinov noted. “We completed something called Dignity Therapy, which allowed her to create a written legacy that would eventually be shared with her child.”
Rabbi Leibl referred to a member of the Shaarey Zedek who had been suffering for some time. She chose to die at home but, before her passing, she asked her children to leave the room. She and the rabbi talked.
“I asked if she was afraid,” he recalled. “She said that she wasn’t afraid, but that she worried that she would never see her family again.”
Dr. Martin noted that every death is personal. “There is no common thread,’ he said. “A last conversation can be profound or trivial.
“One concern for the dying is not being able to live to see their grandchildren grow up and the shared moments they will miss.”
Chochinov also added that some people are worried about the process of dying and what it may be like. “While dying is inevitable, suffering ought not to be”.
Gilmour asked what people can do to help comfort someone who is dying?
Chochinov’s answer was simple: “Be sure to show up”. “When you know someone is dying,” he noted, “for many the impulse is to stay away, to withdraw. You don’t know what to say,” he observed. “Don’t try to fix what can’t be fixed. But do show up and listen.”
Martin recalled a former mentor who suggested that the most important question that someone who is visiting someone who is terminally ill is: ‘What can you do to help?’ “
“People who are dying don’t need to be reminded about it,” Rabbi Leibl observed. “Although every case is different, a visitor should talk to the afflicted individual the same way you would talk to anyone else. You can talk about life, for example, or what you are reading, or a show you are watching together.”
Gilmour concluded her questioning by bringing up the issue of government-approved Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID) – medically assisted suicide.
A number of liberal rabbis Are in favour of MAID, Rabbi Leibl noted. “Judaism however dictates that we must do everything we can to prevent death,” he pointed out.
“I have officiated at funerals for a few people who have chosen IAID,” he reported. “One such funeral was for a Holocaust survivor – in her 90s. I spoke with her the day before she died. She was at peace. I viewed what she was doing as courageous.”
Chochinov said it is also important to look at factors that can undermine a patient’s will to live, such as poorly controlled pain, limited access to palliative care and lack of supports, including respite.“MAID is driven by a desire for personal autonomy,” he observed. “It was originally designed as an option for patients who were suffering and facing a reasonably foreseeable death.” Eligibility criteria have been expanded, making patients not imminently dying, but suffering, able to request MAiD.He expressed grave concerns about extending MAiD for people who are mentally ill. “We simply can’t know which of these patients might improve with adequate time, support and care.”
In response to a later follow-up question from a member from the audience, Bruce Martin added that, in the case of people with dementia and MAID, the latter may prevent children and grandchildren from spending more time with the parent/ grandparent. After all, who then decides when the time is right?
The panelists were asked about talking about death and dying and how to cope. Martin noted that when he speaks to kids in schools, there is a lot of interest in the subject.
A question about planned giving elicited a comment from Chochinov about the importance of not only leaving a will, but letting family know what your wishes are. “It’s never too early to talk about these things”, he said, “but if you put it off long enough, there may come a time when it’s too late”.
Local News
First year medical student Tim Rozovsky founds new association for local Jewish medical students
By MYRON LOVE In the face of a concerning surge in antisemitism over the past nearly three years, I am happy to report a good news story in that regard. Tim Rozovsky, the founder of the new Jewish Medical Students’ Association of Manitoba, reports that he and his fellow Jewish students enrolled in the University of Manitoba’s Max Rady College of Medicine are not experiencing any significant issues involving antisemitism.
Hopefully, the matter of the notorious Med school Valedictorian who used his podium to attack Israel was a one-off.
“My goal in forming the Jewish Medical Students’ Association of Manitoba,” says the first year medical student, “was to create a safe, supportive environment for my fellow Jewish medical students.”
He reports that the current first year class at the school has eight Jewish students – an increase over more recent years – with maybe a dozen more in the other years.
For a new medical student, Rozovsky already has an impressive resume. He was born in Russia and grew up in Israel. After the completion of his army service in 2018, the then-22-year-old rejoined his parents, Dr. Katya and Alexander, who had moved to Winnipeg a few years before.
Prior to coming to Winnipeg, Rozovsky had completed a personal trainer program out of The Academic College at Wingate in Jerusalem. Some readers may know the young man from his work as a Master Personal Trainer at the Rady JCC.
Shortly after arriving here, he enrolled in a kinesiology program at the University of Winnipeg. He graduated with a BKin Honours in 2023 and did post graduate work at the University of Manitoba. Last fall, he received his MSc in Physiology and Pathophysiology – earning two gold medals, along with 32 awards and scholarships in the process.
Rozovsky says that it was his mother who inspired him to pursue a career in medicine. Dr. Katya Rozovsky is an associate professor at the University of Manitoba and an attending radiologist, specializing in pediatric diagnostic imaging.
(Tim also adds that his wife, Irina Gelzin, whom he married about a year ago, is training to be a nurse.)
Insofar as the Jewish Medical Students’ Association of Manitoba is concerned, Rozovky reports that the group gets together multiple times a year. One of its programs was a joint Chanukah celebration with the Jewish Physicians Association of Manitoba.
There was also a joint program with the Christian Medical and Dental Students’ Association of Manitoba.
“More recently, we have been helping prospective Jewish medical students with their applications,” he says. “Hopefully we will be able to get together over the summer with the incoming Jewish students.”
As to his own future plans, Rozovsky notes that it is too early for him to be deciding on a specialty. “My goal,” he says, “is to work hard and get good grades and become the best doctor that I can be.”
Local News
Gray Academy to Represent Manitoba at National Reach for the Top Competition
By NOAH STRAUSS Posted June 6) Gray Academy’s Reach for the Top team is headed to Moncton, New Brunswick, to represent Manitoba at the National Reach for the Top tournament.
Reach for the Top is a Canadian school league that quizzes teenagers on a variety of different topics, from science and history to pop culture. Reach started out in 1961 in Vancouver, where a local CBC station broadcasted the new show; it eventually became a national broadcast starting in 1966. Alex Trebek, who famously hosted Jeopardy!, started out by hosting Reach for the Top.
Gray Academy’s very own team, made up of Grade 7 and 8 students, will travel to Moncton, New Brunswick, to compete as Team Manitoba. By winning the provincial Reach tournament, they secured their spot in the national competition.
Faculty members at Gray Academy are very supportive of the program. The Jewish Post spoke with three different staff members at the school. Coach and high school teacher Danielle Miller says she is excited for the trip; although she will not be accompanying the team herself, shehas coached them all year.
“This year we had over 20 students come to the club to join us, they practice twice a cycle at lunch,” Miller said. Due to the large turnout this year, two teams had to be formed. At lunch practices, students split into two teams of four where each player has a buzzer. The two teams compete to see who can answer the most questions correctly.
One of the two teams did exceptionally well at various tournaments throughout the year and will be traveling to nationals as the sole team representing Manitoba.
Co-coach Micah Doerksen described Reach as a great academic competition where young minds are tested on various topics through quick,fast-paced questions.
High school guidance counselor Lindsey Leipsic said, “We have athletes, non-athletes, we have students who are really involved and students who are not as involved at school, and we have quiet leaders, and we’ve seen friendships be built in Reach.” Some of her favorite memories of Reach involve seeing students from across Winnipeg come to Gray Academy and bond with one another. Lev Chisick, who is competing at nationals, agreed, saying, “Moncton is going to strengthen our school spirit and make us a better team.”
As the junior team makes their way to Moncton, the senior team will head to provincials. Later this week, students from the senior team will travel to Virden, Manitoba, to compete at the provincial level. The team qualified after placing high enough at their most recent tournament, which took place at St. Paul’s.
Confidence is high as the school heads into these final tournaments. When Nath Goldenberg, who is also competing at nationals, was asked what he is most looking forward to, his answer was short and sweet:“Winning.”
Local News
Team Schvesters teammates Benji Harvey, Kim Gray once again among top ten fundraisers in this year’s CancerCare Manitoba Foundation Challenge for Life event
By MYRON LOVE This year’s annual CancerCare Manitoba Foundation’s Challenge for Life walk at Assiniboine Park is scheduled for Sunday, June 13 – and, once again, in terms of fundraising, Team Schvesters is sitting in second place overall – having raised just over $30,500 as of May 26 – which is $5,000 more than the team members had raised by the same time last year.
As well, team members Benji Harvey and Kim Gray are once again in the top ten among individual fundraisers. Harvey this year sits in fifth place, having raised a little over $16,000 as of May 17 – while Gray has raised just above $8,000 – putting her in seventh place.
Harvey reports that, -over the past 18, years participating in CancerCare Manitoba Foundation’s Challenge for Life, she has personally raised $180,000 for cancer research, while her team as a whole has brought in $367,000. In discussing her success as a fundraiser, Harvey says that she has made a lot of friends over the years and believes in giving back to the community.
The “Schvesters” are the Greenfeld sisters: Harvey and sisters Lesly Katz and Debra Lewis – the daughters of Lil and the late Ike Greenfeld. Two of the sisters are cancer survivors.
There is one other team member – in addition to Kim Gray. Judge Rocky Pollack first joined Team Schvesters in 2023. After a year away in 2024, he returned last year. Pollack lost his wife, Sharon, to cancer in 2014 after a multi-year struggle.
Nancy’s Nightingales has been a top 10 community fundraising team for Cancercare Manitoba and the Challenge for Life since its inception in 2008. As a team, they have walked together since 2006 when they walked 60 km in two days in the Weekend to End Breast Cancer.
Last year, the team – including Louise Raber, Joanne Katz, Rhonda Youell, Connie Botelho and Harriet Lyons – finished fifth in fundraising. So far this year, the team is again sitting in fifth place –having raised just under $12,500 (as of May 26) – a couple of thousand dollars more than last year, and just about $300 behind the fourth place team.
The Nightingales are named after a nurse who is a cancer survivor- and a friend of Louise Raber, Nancy’s Nightingales team leader.
“Our goal, as always, is to raise at least one dollar more than last year,” says Raber.
Team Jason’s Journey team leader Jason Gisser has experienced a more intimate and longer-lasting relationship with cancer than many of the other Challenge for Life participants. He was first diagnosed with cancer when he was 18. “I am a proud cancer fighter, having lived and battled a chronic cancer diagnosis for the last 23 years,” he said in an earlier interview. “I participate in the Challenge for Life not only to give back for the care and treatment which I have and continue to receive through CancerCare Manitoba, but to ensure that others do not have to endure the journey which I have endured.”
This is the ninth year that Gisser has taken up the Challenge for Life. His teammates are returnee Nora Fien, as well as friends Danial Sprintz, Wendy Martin White and Jason Roberts, also his mother, Judge Freda Steele. He has personally raised about $5,500 this year, while the team as a whole has raised just over $7,000.
“The Challenge for Life is great opportunity to raise valuable dollars for cancer research and treatment,” Gisser notes.
Readers can make donations to their preferred team by going online to CancerCarefdn.mb.ca and click on Challengeforlife.ca.