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Chesed Shel Emes panel delves into different aspects of death and dying
By MYRON LOVE They say there are two things you can count on in life – death and taxes. I don’t know about taxes – but no one escapes death.
When we are younger, few give much thought to dying. As we age though, we come ever closer to that final reality. The best we can hope for – in my view – is to live to a relatively old age in relatively good health and pass away quickly – preferably in your sleep.
So what would one consider a “good death?” That was one of the questions that was discussed by a panel of three experts on the subject who appeared together on Sunday, November 24, in a program at the Chesed Shel Emes titled: “The Last Stop – Reflections on Living and Dying”.
(The Chesed Shel Emes is our community’s non-profit Jewish funeral chapel; the only one of its kind in North America).
About 180 people were in attendance – both in person and online, as independent Rabbi Matthew Leibl, palliative care specialist Dr. Bruce Martin, and Dr. Harvey Max Chochinov, a psychiatrist who is one of the world’s authorities on the subject of the emotional aspects surrounding death and dying, shared their experiences and perspectives. Alison Gilmur, popular culture and lifestyles reporter for the Free Press. served as the moderator.
A “good death” – as opposed to a “bad death” – is important for patients and families alike, Chochinov noted.
“Is dying in your sleep a good death?” Rabbi Leibl asked. “That depends on both the individual and the family. It certainly doesn’t give the individual much time to think about it beforehand. I think the major concern for most people is that death be as painless as possible.”
“The problem is that you only die once,” Chochinov pointed out. “There is no rehearsal. Many fear the unknown. And you don’t know what the path will be, what it will be like for you. Or if you will still be you afterward.”
Gilmour asked the panelists what people fear most about dying? Chochinov cited the case of one woman who refused to take her medication because she feared it would make her confused – the way it had her mother prior to her death. Reassuring her that she was in capable hands allowed her to accept proper pain management and die peacefully.
Another anecdote from Chochinov concerned the case of a young woman who was facing death – with a young family and a young child at hand. “She was concerned that her little girl would have no memory of her,” Chochinov noted. “We completed something called Dignity Therapy, which allowed her to create a written legacy that would eventually be shared with her child.”
Rabbi Leibl referred to a member of the Shaarey Zedek who had been suffering for some time. She chose to die at home but, before her passing, she asked her children to leave the room. She and the rabbi talked.
“I asked if she was afraid,” he recalled. “She said that she wasn’t afraid, but that she worried that she would never see her family again.”
Dr. Martin noted that every death is personal. “There is no common thread,’ he said. “A last conversation can be profound or trivial.
“One concern for the dying is not being able to live to see their grandchildren grow up and the shared moments they will miss.”
Chochinov also added that some people are worried about the process of dying and what it may be like. “While dying is inevitable, suffering ought not to be”.
Gilmour asked what people can do to help comfort someone who is dying?
Chochinov’s answer was simple: “Be sure to show up”. “When you know someone is dying,” he noted, “for many the impulse is to stay away, to withdraw. You don’t know what to say,” he observed. “Don’t try to fix what can’t be fixed. But do show up and listen.”
Martin recalled a former mentor who suggested that the most important question that someone who is visiting someone who is terminally ill is: ‘What can you do to help?’ “
“People who are dying don’t need to be reminded about it,” Rabbi Leibl observed. “Although every case is different, a visitor should talk to the afflicted individual the same way you would talk to anyone else. You can talk about life, for example, or what you are reading, or a show you are watching together.”
Gilmour concluded her questioning by bringing up the issue of government-approved Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID) – medically assisted suicide.
A number of liberal rabbis Are in favour of MAID, Rabbi Leibl noted. “Judaism however dictates that we must do everything we can to prevent death,” he pointed out.
“I have officiated at funerals for a few people who have chosen IAID,” he reported. “One such funeral was for a Holocaust survivor – in her 90s. I spoke with her the day before she died. She was at peace. I viewed what she was doing as courageous.”
Chochinov said it is also important to look at factors that can undermine a patient’s will to live, such as poorly controlled pain, limited access to palliative care and lack of supports, including respite.“MAID is driven by a desire for personal autonomy,” he observed. “It was originally designed as an option for patients who were suffering and facing a reasonably foreseeable death.” Eligibility criteria have been expanded, making patients not imminently dying, but suffering, able to request MAiD.He expressed grave concerns about extending MAiD for people who are mentally ill. “We simply can’t know which of these patients might improve with adequate time, support and care.”
In response to a later follow-up question from a member from the audience, Bruce Martin added that, in the case of people with dementia and MAID, the latter may prevent children and grandchildren from spending more time with the parent/ grandparent. After all, who then decides when the time is right?
The panelists were asked about talking about death and dying and how to cope. Martin noted that when he speaks to kids in schools, there is a lot of interest in the subject.
A question about planned giving elicited a comment from Chochinov about the importance of not only leaving a will, but letting family know what your wishes are. “It’s never too early to talk about these things”, he said, “but if you put it off long enough, there may come a time when it’s too late”.
Local News
Bright future for Israeli-born University of Manitoba Science student Erele Tzidon
By MYRON LOVE Erele Tzidon, a second year Science student at the University of Manitoba, seems to have a bright future ahead of her.
Rabinovich-Nikitin
The year before last, the Israeli-born graduate of Gray Academy received a University of Manitoba undergraduate research award, which allowed her to pursue research as a member of Dr. Inna Rabinovich-Nikitin’s research team at the Institute of Cardiovascular Sciences, (ICS) researching the link between pregnancy complications and the risk for heart disease.
The world-renowned institute, directed by Dr. Lorrie Kirshenbaum, studies heart disease and heart function with the goal of researching means to repair damaged heart cells and prevent heart failure.
This past November, Tzidon was presented with a second award – the Dr. James S. McGoey Student Award – based on the quality of her cardiovascular research at the ICS, which operates out of the St. Boniface Hospital’s Albrechchtsen Research Centre.
“We are very proud of Erele and her achievements,” says Dr. Inna Rabinovich-Nikitin. “We believe she has a promising future in medical research.”
Originally from Moshav Ginaton in central Israel, Tzidon came to Winnipeg in 2018 with her parents Ofer, formerly regional manager for a car rental agency in Israel and now an RBC branch Manager, and Sharon, an emotional therapist in Israel who is currently working as an educational assistant at Gray Academy. Tzidon also has three younger brothers.
The 19-year-od reports that it was through a connection she forged with Rabinovich-Nikitin at G ray Academy (where the latter has three children enrolled in the elementary program) that opened the door to a summer position at the ICS in 2023. She notes that she is at the ICS two days a week and at the U of M three days a week.
“I have always wanted to do research,” she says, “because I have an unlimited number of questions. And I love working with the great team at the ICS.”
One of the primary focuses at the ICS in recent years has been on women’s heart health. Three years ago Kirshenbaum created a new research program within St. Boniface Hospital specifically for the study of heart disease in women. Dr. Rabinovich-Nikitin was the first faculty member seconded to the new research program
In an earlier article I wrote about her in the Post (in 2021), I noted that she, like Erele Tzidon, is originally from Israel, having arrived in Winnipeg in 2016 with her husband Sergey, and their two children (a third child was born here) to further her scientific knowledge through working in Kirshenbaum’s lab.
Rabinovich-Nikitin is graduate of Tel Aviv University with a Ph.D. in biotechnology.
“I was always interested in science, how things work,” she notes. “I have a particular interest in women’s cardiac health.”
Four years ago she herself was presented with the Winnipeg Foundation’s Martha Donavan Leadership Development Award. The award is intended to provide leadership development opportunities for women in the Rady Faculty of Health Sciences at the University of Manitoba. Eligible applicants include women who are full-time or part-time academic faculty members, students of the Rady Faculty of Health Sciences, and students as well as post-doctoral trainees (including residents), presently enrolled in a program of study within the Rady Faculty of Health Sciences.
In 2022 Rabinovich-Nikitin, was the winner of the Louis N. and Arnold M. Katz Basic Science Research Prize for Early Career Investigators awarded by the American heart Association (AHA). This award is the highest international recognition of research excellence for an early career investigator to receive, and Rabinovich-Nikitin is the first ever Canadian scientist to receive this award.
That same year she joined the University of Manitoba Department of Physiology and Pathophysiology as an assistant professor, studying heart disease in women. Rabinovich-Nikitin observes that heart disease in women presents itself in a different way than in men. She notes that one of the new lab’s initial findings was that there is one specific gene that leads to cardiovascular issues in some pregnant women that can point to heart disease later in life, and also have negative implications for the development of their children. Those children are smaller at birth and, as adults, are prone to hypertension, diabetes and obesity,
“We are looking into how that particular gene increases the risk of heart disease.” she says.
Rabinovich-Nikitin would like to invites readers who may be interested in learning more about women’s heart health to a free program the ICS is offering on Sunday, February 23 at the Wellness Institute at 1075 Leila Avenue from 1:00-4:00. The afternoon will feature speakers, children’s activities and Zumba sessions.
“I would encourage everyone who has questions and wants to learn about women’s heart health to attend,” she says.
You can find more about the event at https://megaheartevent.com/
Local News
Videographer/photographer Jeff Gordon looking forward to sharing his expertise through series of in-person classes
By MYRON LOVE Jeff Gordon is the epitome of a visionary and the trajectory of the local videographer/photographer has just gone into overdrive.
At the beginning of the year, the founder of JAG Videos and Photography inaugurated his brand new state-of-the-art studio in a new facility he built behind his north River Heights home. And, shortly after, he launched the first session of his new school for budding photographers and videographers.
“Up until now, the only options for anyone interested in learning the art of photography or making videos has been either Red River College or the University of Winnipeg,” Gordon points out. “I recognized a niche here and my goal is to fill this gap.”
The first of the 16-week sessions in his new studio began in mid-January. He reports that he is running three classes a week- one strictly for teenagers.
“The course exceeded my expectations. We sold out quickly and I have a waiting list,” he notes. “I have 16 students divided among the three classes. I am teaching the students everything I know about photographer and videography. The curriculum is easy to follow.
Increasingly, we are in a digital world,” he adds. “Businesses need staff who are adept at making videos and taking photographs. Companies need staff who are able to create videos for them to promote the business online.”
He envisages offering the program three times a year – with future sessions beginning in May and September.
Gordon’s curriculum is his own creation, based on his experience and a previous training manual he wrote years ago for an entirely different group of students – drummers.
Before Jeff Gordon discovered his passion for photography and videography, he was a musician – a drummer to be specific. The graduate of the Hebrew Bilingual program at Brock Corydon Elementary School and later, Shaftesbury High School, began playing drums in high school and started teaching others to play shortly after.
“I used to have as many as 40 students at a time,” he recalls.
Following graduation from Shaftesbury, he enrolled at the Los Angeles Music Academy. In 2006 he graduated from the jazz program at Grant MacEwan University in Edmonton. His professional credits include 16 years as a drummer with the Sarah Sommer Chai Folk Ensemble and five years as a member of a touring band called “Driver.”
It was while performing with “Driver” that he began doing videography. “I have always been fascinated by technology,” he says. “While on tour, I began making videos of our live concerts. I would set up four or five cameras to record the shows.”
In 2014 Gordon took the plunge and dove into photography and videography full time with the founding of JAG Videos and Photography. “I started with weddings and gradually started to develop a commercial and corporate clientele,” he says. “I do a lot of head shots for businesses. I have also done a number of TV spots for Global and Corus.”
In his new studio he has also been recording a weekly podcast for a client, he reports. “I have a chesterfield for the podcaster and her guests and provide a coffee table and coffee.”
And while the Covid lockdown proved to be disastrous for many, for Gordon it turned out to be very good for his business. “I was really busy,” he says. “Because of the lockdown, there was an increased demand from corporations and companies for videos.”
Previous to building his own studio, Gordon notes, he was renting space in the Exchange District. “I got the idea for building my own home studio while having renovations done in our kitchen,” he recounts. “It took about a year to build. It’s great having the studio. It feels like an extension of my home.”
(He adds that he is still going out on location when required.)
“I really enjoy teaching,” he says. “I love expounding on subjects I am passionate about.”
Jeff Gordon has bold plans for his school and curriculum. “I hope to be able to expand the number of students to the point where I need a larger space,” he says. “I envisage hiring other teachers and running multiple classes at the same time. I hope to create a digital version of the course and sell it widely online. I would also like to be able to license my program and sell it to schools and universities.”
Gordon feels that he is truly blessed to have been able to turn a hobby into a full time business.
As the same time, he hasn’t entirely given up the drums. “I still have my drum set in my basement,” he notes.”I am enjoying teaching my two daughters (both Brock Corydon students incidentally) to play the drums.”
Jeff Gordon’s website address is www.jagvideos.com.
Local News
Winnipegger featured in Apple commercial highlighting new adaptive technology
By MYRON LOVE The year just past has been a memorable one for Melissa Shapiro. In recent weeks she and her boyfriend moved into their new home in East Kildonan and – in September, the daughter of Cory and Goldelyn Shapiro – was one of the featured guests at Apple Headquarters in Las Vegas for the premiere of an advertisement – produced by the tech company – highlighting Apple’s newly developed adaptive technology.
“I was flown out to California by Apple’s PR team,” recalls the 26-year-old policy analyst with the Education and Early Childhood Learning Department. “The event was held at Apple Park. It was really exciting seeing all the newest products and features.”
Shapiro, who was born missing her left arm, came to the attention of Apple as a result of Instagram videos she made demonstrating her ability to work out as an adaptive athlete. Last May, Shapiro reviewed the Apple watch’s accessibility features in a video, and it caught Apple’s attention.
“I was contacted by a casting agency in July,” she reports. “Next thing I know, we are filming in Toronto in August. I was the only Canadian involved in filming the commercial.”
Shapiro has never let her disability define her life- thanks in part both to her parents and the War Amps of Canada Child Amputee program, which reached out to her family three weeks after she was born.
“We received a lot of support – financial, recreational and emotional – from the War Amps,” she says. “Through the program, my family was able to connect with other families with similar challenges.
As well, the War Amps helped me to integrate in school and participate in sports while I was growing up by providing me with different prosthetics paid for by donations to the program.
Over the years, Shapiro ha been able to give back to the non-profit organization by appearing in War Amps public service spots highlighting such tips as playing safe in order to avoid accidents that could result in amputations. She has also been featured n War Amps-organized seminars and media appearances promoting the work of the War Amps in helping to improve the quality of life for children like Shapiro who were born missing a limb or those who lost limbs due to an accident.
“I still enjoy doing ‘playsafe’ presentations and public events for the war Amps,” she says.
Readers who may be interested in supporting this worthwhile program can donate by phone (1800 250-3030) or go online (waramps.ca).