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Chesed Shel Emes panel delves into different aspects of death and dying
By MYRON LOVE They say there are two things you can count on in life – death and taxes. I don’t know about taxes – but no one escapes death.
When we are younger, few give much thought to dying. As we age though, we come ever closer to that final reality. The best we can hope for – in my view – is to live to a relatively old age in relatively good health and pass away quickly – preferably in your sleep.
So what would one consider a “good death?” That was one of the questions that was discussed by a panel of three experts on the subject who appeared together on Sunday, November 24, in a program at the Chesed Shel Emes titled: “The Last Stop – Reflections on Living and Dying”.
(The Chesed Shel Emes is our community’s non-profit Jewish funeral chapel; the only one of its kind in North America).
About 180 people were in attendance – both in person and online, as independent Rabbi Matthew Leibl, palliative care specialist Dr. Bruce Martin, and Dr. Harvey Max Chochinov, a psychiatrist who is one of the world’s authorities on the subject of the emotional aspects surrounding death and dying, shared their experiences and perspectives. Alison Gilmur, popular culture and lifestyles reporter for the Free Press. served as the moderator.
A “good death” – as opposed to a “bad death” – is important for patients and families alike, Chochinov noted.
“Is dying in your sleep a good death?” Rabbi Leibl asked. “That depends on both the individual and the family. It certainly doesn’t give the individual much time to think about it beforehand. I think the major concern for most people is that death be as painless as possible.”
“The problem is that you only die once,” Chochinov pointed out. “There is no rehearsal. Many fear the unknown. And you don’t know what the path will be, what it will be like for you. Or if you will still be you afterward.”
Gilmour asked the panelists what people fear most about dying? Chochinov cited the case of one woman who refused to take her medication because she feared it would make her confused – the way it had her mother prior to her death. Reassuring her that she was in capable hands allowed her to accept proper pain management and die peacefully.
Another anecdote from Chochinov concerned the case of a young woman who was facing death – with a young family and a young child at hand. “She was concerned that her little girl would have no memory of her,” Chochinov noted. “We completed something called Dignity Therapy, which allowed her to create a written legacy that would eventually be shared with her child.”
Rabbi Leibl referred to a member of the Shaarey Zedek who had been suffering for some time. She chose to die at home but, before her passing, she asked her children to leave the room. She and the rabbi talked.
“I asked if she was afraid,” he recalled. “She said that she wasn’t afraid, but that she worried that she would never see her family again.”
Dr. Martin noted that every death is personal. “There is no common thread,’ he said. “A last conversation can be profound or trivial.
“One concern for the dying is not being able to live to see their grandchildren grow up and the shared moments they will miss.”
Chochinov also added that some people are worried about the process of dying and what it may be like. “While dying is inevitable, suffering ought not to be”.
Gilmour asked what people can do to help comfort someone who is dying?
Chochinov’s answer was simple: “Be sure to show up”. “When you know someone is dying,” he noted, “for many the impulse is to stay away, to withdraw. You don’t know what to say,” he observed. “Don’t try to fix what can’t be fixed. But do show up and listen.”
Martin recalled a former mentor who suggested that the most important question that someone who is visiting someone who is terminally ill is: ‘What can you do to help?’ “
“People who are dying don’t need to be reminded about it,” Rabbi Leibl observed. “Although every case is different, a visitor should talk to the afflicted individual the same way you would talk to anyone else. You can talk about life, for example, or what you are reading, or a show you are watching together.”
Gilmour concluded her questioning by bringing up the issue of government-approved Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID) – medically assisted suicide.
A number of liberal rabbis Are in favour of MAID, Rabbi Leibl noted. “Judaism however dictates that we must do everything we can to prevent death,” he pointed out.
“I have officiated at funerals for a few people who have chosen IAID,” he reported. “One such funeral was for a Holocaust survivor – in her 90s. I spoke with her the day before she died. She was at peace. I viewed what she was doing as courageous.”
Chochinov said it is also important to look at factors that can undermine a patient’s will to live, such as poorly controlled pain, limited access to palliative care and lack of supports, including respite.“MAID is driven by a desire for personal autonomy,” he observed. “It was originally designed as an option for patients who were suffering and facing a reasonably foreseeable death.” Eligibility criteria have been expanded, making patients not imminently dying, but suffering, able to request MAiD.He expressed grave concerns about extending MAiD for people who are mentally ill. “We simply can’t know which of these patients might improve with adequate time, support and care.”
In response to a later follow-up question from a member from the audience, Bruce Martin added that, in the case of people with dementia and MAID, the latter may prevent children and grandchildren from spending more time with the parent/ grandparent. After all, who then decides when the time is right?
The panelists were asked about talking about death and dying and how to cope. Martin noted that when he speaks to kids in schools, there is a lot of interest in the subject.
A question about planned giving elicited a comment from Chochinov about the importance of not only leaving a will, but letting family know what your wishes are. “It’s never too early to talk about these things”, he said, “but if you put it off long enough, there may come a time when it’s too late”.
Local News
Younger Jewish talents continue to shine in their respective categories at annual Winnipeg Music Festival
By MYRON LOVE A number of younger members of our community were repeat stars at the most recent (108th annual) Winnipeg Music Festival – which takes place annually in March. Among the repeat Jewish singers and musicians in the ranks of high achievers this year were” Yale Rayburn-Vander Hout, Gregory Hyman, Alex Schaeffer, Juliet Eskin, Noah Kravetsky, and Lyla Chisick.

Vocalist Yale Rayburn-Vander Hout, the oldest of this year’s group of Jewish repeat winners, was competing in his fifth straight festival, where he continued to build on his accomplishments in previous festivals. This year, the 20-year-old son of Samantha and Peter finished first in two musical theatre categories – songs from musical theatre productions between 1965 and 1999, and shows from the past 26 years. Yale sang “I’m Allergic to Cats,” from the 2016 musical “The Theory of Relativity,” and “Suppertime,” from the 1967 musical, “You’re a Good man, Charlie Brown.”
The former Gray Academy student is currently enrolled at the University of Manitoba’s Desautels Faculty of Music in the Choral program. Yale says that he is hoping to get into the performance track in the fall with the goal of earning a degree in Classical Voice Performance en route to pursuing a career in musical theatre.

As reported previously, Gregory Hyman is a multi-faceted artist who can do it all. The 18-year-old son of Hartley and Rishona Hyman is a singer/songwriter/musician (guitar) who records and performs under the stage name, GMH. His versatility shone through once again in his eighth Music Festival, in which he registered first-place finishes for vocal performances in both “Popular and Contemporary Music” and “TV and Movie Music “categories.
Gregory notes that he was also recommended to compete in the provincial finals in June. The St. John’s-Ravenscourt student (and soon-to be) graduate continues to be busy on stage. In January, he headlined a sold out solo show at Sidestage on Osborne featuring some of his new material. In March, he released an album of his newest songs. Readers can check out his latest compositions on any of the music streaming platforms as well as his own social media (thegmh) on Instagram.
Gregory also continues to host his own podcast: “Talk and Rock with GMH – now in its fifth season – in which he interviews various people in the music business across Canada.
While Gregory says that a musical career is his “dream,” he reports that he is hedging his bets and considering different potential career opportunities. Come September, he will be enrolled at the University of Manitoba in a University One program, which will allow him to select from a variety of courses that can count toward a degree.

Sixteen-year-old Alex Schaeffer won first place this year in the “Musicals Prior to 1965, 16 Years and Under” category with “Try Me” from “She Loves Me,” and was runner-up in the “Musicals 1965 to 1999, 16 Years and Under” category with “On My Own,” from “Les Misérables.” For the son of Marc Schaeffer and Kae Sasaki, this was his fifth year competing in the festival.
The Grant Park High School student made his big stage debut three years ago as Kurt von Trapp in “The Sound of Music,” followed by playing Michael Hobbs in “Elf the Musical” this past winter at the Royal MTC.
Alex recently performed in Grant Park High School’s production of “Something Rotten!” This summer Schaeffer can be seen again at the Winnipeg Fringe Festival, where he will be appearing in a production staged by Rem Lezar Theatre.
Rounding out the voice winners is Lyla Chisick. The daughter of Daniel and Baillee was competing in her second music festival. This year, she scored Gold performances in the “Vocal Solo,” “Manitoba Composers,” and “TV/Movie Musical, 12 and under” categories.
Lyla reports that she began taking voice lessons from Jessica Kos-Whicher three years ago. She says she regularly takes part in the Shaarey Zedek Synagogue Family Service and has sung at several community events. Lyla adds that she is already looking forward to next year’s music festival.

Nate Kravetsky and Juliet Eskin competed in the festival as musicians rather than singers. Juliet, 16, plays the viola, and is also is the violist in the Assiniboine String Quartet. In this, her fifth go-round at the festival, Juliet, the daughter of the musically talented Kelly Robinon and Josh Eskin, had first place finishes in the “Viola Solo, level 8,” “Baroque or Classical Concerto,” and “Romantic Composers” categories.

Juliet originally took up the violin – adding the viola a couple of years after. She also just finished performing in the Grant Park High School production of “Something Rotten!”
Nate Kravetsky is currently in Grade 5 level piano. He studies with Erica Schultz and has been taking lessons from her since age 5.
Nate competed in three categories at the Winnipeg music festival: “Baroque,” “Sonata,” and “Contemporary/own choice.”
His own choice selection was the theme from his favourite video game, “Hollow Knight.”
Nate, who is in Grade 7 at Gray Academy, is also preoccupied preparing for his upcoming bar mitzvah.
We look forward to the continued musical success off Yale, Gregory, Alex, Nate, Juliet and Lyla, and what new talent may be unveiled at next year’s Winnipeg Music festival.
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Local News
Jewish Heritage Centre of Western Canada’s Archivist and Curator Stan Carbone retires
By MYRON LOVE Stan Carbone, a long-time friend of our Jewish community and fixture at the Jewish Heritage Centre of Western Canada (JHCWC) for the past 25 years, retired last week. His last day of work was May 13.
Most recently, he was the JHCWC’s Director of Programs and Exhibits.
“For the past 25 years, the Jewish Heritage Centre of Western Canada has been an integral part of my life,” Carbone said. “I have made a lot of friends in the Jewish community, and I hope to maintain those friendships.”
Carbone’s own history reflects the immigrant experience. He arrived in Canada in 1960 as a three-year-old with his mother and sister, from San Giovanni in Fiore, Calabria in southern Italy. His father had come a few months earlier. Initially, the family settled in Fort Rouge which, at that time, had a substantial Italian community. Within a couple of years, they had relocated to East Kildonan to be closer to where his father’s two sisters and their families lived.
He earned a BA Double Honours in History and Political Studies at the University of Winnipeg, followed by an MA in History at the University of Manitoba, from where he graduated in 1981.
In 1993, he was hired at the Manitoba Museum of Man and Nature (as it was then called) as Curator of Multicultural Studies.
“I always enjoyed doing research,” he said.
His first project for the JHCWC came in 2000, the year after the organization was formed through the amalgamation of the Jewish Historical Society, the Ed and Marion Vickar Jewish Museum of Western Canada and the Freeman Family Foundation Holocaust Education Centre.
Marim Zipursky had approached the Manitoba Museum of Man and Nature looking for a curator to organize a JHCWC exhibit featuring Jewish music and musicians in Winnipeg,” Carbone recalled. “I didn’t know much about Jewish music and musicians, but I was familiar with the Jewish Historical Society – which preceded the JHCWC. I was really impressed by its extensive archives, and I was intrigued by the Jewish community’s history and the wide range of subject materials in the archives.”
The next year, when a position opened at the JHCWC, Carbone applied.
“I have been here ever since,” he said.
Over the past quarter century, Carbone has been involved in bringing to fruition several interesting exhibits. He mentions the synagogues display, a history of the YMHA, and the current exhibit highlighting the important role of women’s organizations. The exhibit that was closest to his heart though was “A Stitch in Time,” a look at how Jews contributed to the development of the garment trade in Winnipeg. Both of his parents worked in the garment industry.
The exhibits though are just one facet of the JHCWC’s focus, Carbone noted. He mentioned how the organization contributed to the publication of Allan Levine’s “Coming of Age: A History of the Jewish People of Manitoba.”
There have also been several compilations over the years of talks that the JHCWC has organized. These are known as the “Jewish Life and Times,” consisting to date of ten volumes.
Carbone further pointed out the organization’s commitment to Holocaust education and the numerous initiatives that have brought that subject to greater public attention.
The organization’s genealogical component, he reported, draws numerous queries from people all over the world.
One particularly interesting project that Carbone spoke about is an ongoing cooperative partnership with Gray Academy. For the past 10 years, the JHCWC has been loaning photos from the archives to the school’s art program, allowing the students to make drawings based on the photos.
“It has been a wonderful program which has given the students a better understanding of local Jewish history,” he said.
“During my time here, we have worked with numerous Jewish and non-Jewish organizations,” Carbone added. “It helps to build bridges between the Jewish and other communities.”
In retirement, Carbone is looking forward to doing more travelling with Anna, his wife of 40 years. They were scheduled to leave for southern Italy on May 16.
He will also continue to be busy in his role as Italy’s vice-consul here, helping fellow Italians and others in Winnipeg.
And he is excited about having more time to spend on his own genealogical and historical research. He has already published two books: “Italians in Winnipeg: an Illustrated History,” and “The Streets Were Not Paved With Gold: A Social History of Italians in Winnipeg”.
A future project which he is seriously considering is a study of the history of Jewish life in Calabria.
He is also working on a family tree.
“I may be retired,” he said, “but I will still be available from time to time to help out if needed.”
Local News
Negev Gala honours Jewish Physicians Association of Manitoba
By MYRON LOVE It is written in “The Prophets” – specifically in ‘The Book of Isaiah’ -that the prophet heard the voice of the Lord saying “Whom should I send and who will go for us?”
And Isaiah answered the call and responded “Hineni” (here I am). “Send me.”
“Hineni” was the theme of this year’s Friends of JNF Canada’s annual Negev Gala – and about 750 supporters of the Jewish state – Jewish and non-Jewish – answered the call.
“Hineni” was the response of this year’s Negev Gala’s honorees: -members of the Jewish Physicians Association of Manitoba (JPAM), who, instead of remaining silent in the face of unprecedented levels of antisemitism in modern times, chose to speak with one voice against Jew hate in Manitoba’s medical community – and specifically among medical students enrolled in the Rady Faculty of Medicine.
“Hineni”is also the name of a new award that was given out at this year’s dinner. The Negev Gala Hineni award recognizes non-Jews who speak up on behalf of the Jewish people, despite personal risk for taking such a stand.
The evening opened with singer Haviva Polevoi singing a prayer for healing (“Mi Shebrach”) accompanied by pianist Tatyana Smolyaninov. The duo returned later in the evening to offer a second Mi Sheberach for “those who protect us.”
In his opening remarks, David Greaves, Friends of JNF Canada’s executive director for Manitoba and Saskatchewan – and emcee for the evening, observed that “over the past almost three years we have seen the worst of the worst as a community – as Am Yisrael, but what we may not have seen clearly are the struggles of subcommunities within our own community.
“This has been highlighted by the unfortunate need for the existence of JPAM. As the Jewish physicians continue to serve the ‘whole’ community, they do so in the face of extreme antisemitism, roadblocks and hate. Friends of JNF Canada are honoured to honour the many physicians and healthcare heroes that dedicate their lives every day to keep us all safe and healthy, regardless of background or beliefs.”
Greaves was then joined on stage by Aboriginal community leader and friend of the Jewish community Lisa Lewis for the requisite Land Acknowledgement. In relatively quick succession, the Shaarey Zedek’s senior Rabbi, Carnie Rose, read the prayer for the State of Israel, local Bridges for Peace leaders Don and Victoria James recited a prayer for peace, and medical students Rachel Cogan and Rotem Keynan recited haMotzi.
Michael Silver, president of the local Friends of the JNF Canada, national CEO Lance Davis and Jewish Federation of Winnipeg vice chair (and past JNF Manitoba ad Saskatchewan president) Jessica Cogan made presentations, after which Cogan had the privilege of introducing the inaugural Hineni Award recipient.
“We all know that in the months following October 7, our community was deeply shaken,” Cogan observed. “We were not only traumatized by the brutality of that day, but by the silence, the hostility, and the surge of antisemitism that followed.
“Antisemitism,” she continued, “began creeping into every corner of public life, even in spaces we believed would be guided by integrity and care. In May 2024, we felt the sharp pain of this reality during the University of Manitoba’s Faculty of Medicine convocation.
“The world we thought we knew no longer felt as safe or as certain. And yet—out of that darkness, something extraordinary emerged. As David mentioned earlier, even in the darkest of days, our community seeks, finds and creates sparks of light.”
One of those “sparks of light” that she pointed to was the decision by a number of local Jewish doctors to come together to fight back through the formation of the Jewish Physicians Association of Manitoba.
“The creation of JPAM,” she noted, “told us we are not alone. This group of Jewish physicians made it clear that antisemitism—whether subtle or overt—would not go unchallenged.
“As the mother of a newly graduated medical student at the U of M,” Cogan added, “it meant even more. Our daughter, like so many others, faced moments of discomfort and isolation after October 7. Because of JPAM, she had somewhere to turn, someone to guide her. This brought a sense of reassurance that I cannot overstate.”

While JPAM works from within our Jewish community, Cogan pointed out, Dr Matthew Bzura chose not only to stand with us but also to stand up for us. (To read more about what Dr. Bzura did, go to PARIM Board forces out principled president-elect.)
“When so many stayed silent or even applauded the statements made at the medical school convocation two years ago by an antisemitic valedictorian,” Cogan recalled, “Dr. Bzura raised his voice — in a very public way. He responded with clarity, integrity, and courage. And we all know, these days, speaking out on behalf of the Jewish community comes with substantial personal and professional risk.
“His voice cut through the silence, espousing the values we all claim to share. Dr. Bzura answered: “Hineni. Here I am.”
In accepting the award, Bzura observed that Hineni may seem to be a simple phrase but, he noted, “the more time you spend with it, the more you realize that though it may sound a simple phrase, it’s a demanding one. To me, it doesn’t mean ‘here I am when it’s easy’ or ‘here I am when it’s convenient’. It means showing up – fully – and especially when it’s difficult, uncertain, or uncomfortable – when it costs you something.”
“I come to this moment from outside the Jewish community,” he noted ,“and I stand here tonight very aware of that, but that’s what makes this recognition all the more humbling and meaningful. What I’ve had instead is the privilege of working alongside Jewish colleagues, mentors, and patients – people who have shown me, not through words but through action, what it means to carry a deep sense of identity, responsibility, and caring for one another.
“So tonight,” Bzura concluded, “while I am deeply grateful for this award, I don’t see it as recognition of something I did alone. I see it as a reflection of a community that stood together and refused to be silent. On a deeply personal level I also accept this award with a sense of responsibility to keep showing up. To keep listening. To keep learning and, when it matters most, to say hineni.”

In response to Dr. Bzura’s remarks, Dr. Charles Bernstein, JPAM’s chair, observed that “sadly, I can report that I can count on both hands, at most, the number of non-Jewish physicians and scientists who have reached out to me in support of our community as it has been attacked in the medical community, mostly in the medical school community.
“JPAM,” Bernstein pointed out, “exists to bear witness to what is happening in our medical community; to provide advocacy where it is needed, to support Jews in health care who are being victimized and others who are being victimized; to ensure that Jewish Canadians feel free to study at U of M and exercise their rights to study openly as persons wanting to optimize health care through research, education and health policy and to undertake this as openly Jewish, fearless to openly wear a Star of David or Chai around their neck, as our Sikh friends should not fear wearing a turban or Muslim friends wearing a hijab.”
In responding to Friends of the JNF’s recognition of JPAM, Bernstein spoke of his own medical career, provided an historic overview of the role of Jewish doctors in Manitoba’s medical history and identified by name many of the Jewish-trained doctors from Winnipeg who have played leading roles in the practice of medicine nationally and internationally – innovators such as Morley Cohen in Cardiac Surgery, Ruben Cherniak in Respirology, Lionel Israels in Hematology, Harry Medovy in Pediatrics, Arnold Naimark in Respirology and Medical Education, Maurice Victor in Neurology, Max Wintrobe in Hematology, Alvin Zipursky in Pediatric Hematology, and the entire Hollenberg family – as well as his brother, Keevin, who revamped the medical school curriculum 15 years ago.
Bernstien further noted that of the 25 current Distinguished Professors at the U of M, four are clinicians and three of the four are Jewish and proud members of JPAM. Harvey Chochinov, Cheryl Rockman-Greenberg and Teddy Lyons, he pointed out, are still active in Medicine and all have been inducted into the Order of Canada.
In his speech, Bernstein reported that JPAM was formed in October 2023 – shortly after the pogrom on 0ctopber 7 – at Dr. Laura Chisick’s house – who served as hostess, along with Dr. Michael Boroditsky presiding. JPAM, he explained, was created “to address the need to provide advocacy for Jewish trainees, Jewish physicians, and Jewish patients.”
In June 2024, the inaugural meeting of JPAM took place at the Etz Chayim Synagogue. Nearly 100 physicians participated. The current board consists of: Charles Bernstein, David Hochman, Cheryl Rockman Greenberg, Marnie Wiseman, Lorrie Kirshenbaum, Isanne Schacter, Daniel Kroft, Brent Schacter, Vivian Schutt, and Grant Goldberg , all of whom joined Bernstein at the podium.
The funds raised from the 2026 Negev Gala are slated to go toward the opening of a new rehab clinic and hydrotherapy pool at the Ashdod Rehabilitation and Therapy Centre in southern Israel. The Centre provides crucial care for trauma victims, children with disabilities, and cancer patients.
