Local News
Chesed Shel Emes panel delves into different aspects of death and dying
By MYRON LOVE They say there are two things you can count on in life – death and taxes. I don’t know about taxes – but no one escapes death.
When we are younger, few give much thought to dying. As we age though, we come ever closer to that final reality. The best we can hope for – in my view – is to live to a relatively old age in relatively good health and pass away quickly – preferably in your sleep.
So what would one consider a “good death?” That was one of the questions that was discussed by a panel of three experts on the subject who appeared together on Sunday, November 24, in a program at the Chesed Shel Emes titled: “The Last Stop – Reflections on Living and Dying”.
(The Chesed Shel Emes is our community’s non-profit Jewish funeral chapel; the only one of its kind in North America).
About 180 people were in attendance – both in person and online, as independent Rabbi Matthew Leibl, palliative care specialist Dr. Bruce Martin, and Dr. Harvey Max Chochinov, a psychiatrist who is one of the world’s authorities on the subject of the emotional aspects surrounding death and dying, shared their experiences and perspectives. Alison Gilmur, popular culture and lifestyles reporter for the Free Press. served as the moderator.
A “good death” – as opposed to a “bad death” – is important for patients and families alike, Chochinov noted.
“Is dying in your sleep a good death?” Rabbi Leibl asked. “That depends on both the individual and the family. It certainly doesn’t give the individual much time to think about it beforehand. I think the major concern for most people is that death be as painless as possible.”
“The problem is that you only die once,” Chochinov pointed out. “There is no rehearsal. Many fear the unknown. And you don’t know what the path will be, what it will be like for you. Or if you will still be you afterward.”
Gilmour asked the panelists what people fear most about dying? Chochinov cited the case of one woman who refused to take her medication because she feared it would make her confused – the way it had her mother prior to her death. Reassuring her that she was in capable hands allowed her to accept proper pain management and die peacefully.
Another anecdote from Chochinov concerned the case of a young woman who was facing death – with a young family and a young child at hand. “She was concerned that her little girl would have no memory of her,” Chochinov noted. “We completed something called Dignity Therapy, which allowed her to create a written legacy that would eventually be shared with her child.”
Rabbi Leibl referred to a member of the Shaarey Zedek who had been suffering for some time. She chose to die at home but, before her passing, she asked her children to leave the room. She and the rabbi talked.
“I asked if she was afraid,” he recalled. “She said that she wasn’t afraid, but that she worried that she would never see her family again.”
Dr. Martin noted that every death is personal. “There is no common thread,’ he said. “A last conversation can be profound or trivial.
“One concern for the dying is not being able to live to see their grandchildren grow up and the shared moments they will miss.”
Chochinov also added that some people are worried about the process of dying and what it may be like. “While dying is inevitable, suffering ought not to be”.
Gilmour asked what people can do to help comfort someone who is dying?
Chochinov’s answer was simple: “Be sure to show up”. “When you know someone is dying,” he noted, “for many the impulse is to stay away, to withdraw. You don’t know what to say,” he observed. “Don’t try to fix what can’t be fixed. But do show up and listen.”
Martin recalled a former mentor who suggested that the most important question that someone who is visiting someone who is terminally ill is: ‘What can you do to help?’ “
“People who are dying don’t need to be reminded about it,” Rabbi Leibl observed. “Although every case is different, a visitor should talk to the afflicted individual the same way you would talk to anyone else. You can talk about life, for example, or what you are reading, or a show you are watching together.”
Gilmour concluded her questioning by bringing up the issue of government-approved Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID) – medically assisted suicide.
A number of liberal rabbis Are in favour of MAID, Rabbi Leibl noted. “Judaism however dictates that we must do everything we can to prevent death,” he pointed out.
“I have officiated at funerals for a few people who have chosen IAID,” he reported. “One such funeral was for a Holocaust survivor – in her 90s. I spoke with her the day before she died. She was at peace. I viewed what she was doing as courageous.”
Chochinov said it is also important to look at factors that can undermine a patient’s will to live, such as poorly controlled pain, limited access to palliative care and lack of supports, including respite.“MAID is driven by a desire for personal autonomy,” he observed. “It was originally designed as an option for patients who were suffering and facing a reasonably foreseeable death.” Eligibility criteria have been expanded, making patients not imminently dying, but suffering, able to request MAiD.He expressed grave concerns about extending MAiD for people who are mentally ill. “We simply can’t know which of these patients might improve with adequate time, support and care.”
In response to a later follow-up question from a member from the audience, Bruce Martin added that, in the case of people with dementia and MAID, the latter may prevent children and grandchildren from spending more time with the parent/ grandparent. After all, who then decides when the time is right?
The panelists were asked about talking about death and dying and how to cope. Martin noted that when he speaks to kids in schools, there is a lot of interest in the subject.
A question about planned giving elicited a comment from Chochinov about the importance of not only leaving a will, but letting family know what your wishes are. “It’s never too early to talk about these things”, he said, “but if you put it off long enough, there may come a time when it’s too late”.
Local News
Shindico celebrates 50th anniversary
(June 11, 2025) Shindico, one of Canada’s leading real estate firms, celebrated its 50th anniversary in typically understated style today. Instead of a lavish banquet in a swank hotel, over 200 Winnipeggers of different stripes gathered in a huge warehouse in St. Boniface to enjoy a variety of different foods served from different food trucks that had been brought onto the parking lot for the occasion in a carnival like atmosphere.
There were no long speeches marking the event. Instead Shindico staff mingled with guests and even the top bosses stood in line to order Philly steaks, french fries, cotton candy, popcorn, drinks, and sundry other food items. And, instead of the kind of swag typically given out at fancy celebrations guests were given simple hats saying “Shindico 50th anniversary.”
That’s the Shindico style we’ve come to expect of Shindico’s founders, Sandy & Robert Shindleman, who are known for understatement in their style of clothing – jeans and work shirts being what they are best known for wearing!
And, if you haven’t already read our story about how Sandy Shindleman came to found Shindico with his brother, Robert, you can read it here: The Sandy Shindleman story.
Local News
Cathy Moser organizing information program and beach party at Camp Massad as part of campaign to raise funds for pioneering Israeli treatment using psychedelic drugs and psychotherapy to treat PTSD
By MYRON LOVE When it comes to fundraising for worthy causes, Dr. Cathy Moser is one of the most creative and innovative people I know.
For over a dozen years, she was the annual Cancercare Manitoba Foundation Challenge for Life entrant Serratus Superstars team leader. Over that time period, Moser and her team raised over $450,000.00 – not only through walking but also through donations from garage sales and bake sales she and her friends organized and concerts organized in their homes.
A few months back, the Jewish Post ran a story about Cathy and her husband Jeff’s newest cause – a campaign to raise money for the Jerusalem Foundation’s new Resilience Centre, a novel treatment center for Israelis suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Aided in fundraising by long time Talmud Torah classmates and friends Donna Weinstein and Gina Chodirker, the Winnipeg couple are pledging to double every dollar donated to the Centre up to $100,000.
As part of that initiative, Moser and her friends are inviting readers to a special event – “Jerusalem at the Lake” on Sunday, June 22, at Camp Massad. The day’s activities will begin at 11:00 with brunch and presentations by Jerusalem Resilience Center directors Dr. Sinai Oren, psychiatrist and psychotherapist, and Pinni Baumol, a social worker who has been working in the area for decades.
That will be followed by a family-friendly beach party from 3:00 to 7:00 featuring activities for all ages. Moser reports that there will be dinner, a live band, Israeli dancing, sports, a heated pool and arts and crafts for the kids. She adds that she, Gina Chodirker and Donna Weinstein recruited several other Talmud Torah/JWC alumni – including Miriam Kohn, Avis Raber, Jackie Winestock, Deborah Fleishman and Gail Thau – to help out.
Moser points out that, according to the Jerusalem Foundation, estimates suggest that over half a million Israelis are suffering from PTSD, as well as other psychological issues, since the Hamas attack on Israel on October 7, 2023, and ensuing war.
“It is not only Israeli soldiers who have been traumatized,” Moser observed in that earlier interview. “Everybody in Israel knows someone who was affected by the attack on October 7. This past year has triggered trauma from past wars as well as intergenerational trauma from the Holocaust.”
In response to this tsunami of trauma that has hit Israelis, the Jerusalem Foundation, soon after the October attack, founded the Resilience Centre – operating out of the Shaare Zedek Hospital. The Resilience Centre utilizes a range of treatments for trauma therapy – including the pioneering use of the drug ketamine, in combination with psychotherapy.
Cathy Moser has been treating patients for the past 40 years. During that time, she says, she has treated victims of physical, sexual and emotional abuse and other horrific life events. Conventional tools and treatments can successfully treat trauma, but some (traumas) are so barbaric and complex that no matter how skilled a clinician is, “we cannot restore one’s lifeforce,’ ” she points out.
Moser initially approached the Jerusalem Resilience Center because of her work in psychedelic medicine. “Last summer, I visited the Reslience Centre,” she says. “I witnessed their treatment efficacy. There are less than a handful of legal psychedelic treatment centers in Israel, and this is a main one.”
Moser notes that readers who are interested in attending this special event and becoming sponsors can contact her at 204 295-3214, Donna Weinstein – 204 540-9869, or Gina Chodirker – 204 218-4803 or email friendsofJRC@gmail.com.
Registration deadline is June 14.
We owe it to our Israeli brothers and sisters to show them that we care about the mental health sacrifices that they are making to defend our homeland. While we happily offer donations for forest and building restoration, this gift will help to restore the ability of those that are traumatized to enjoy life again.
“We are hoping to raise at least $250,000.00 for the Jerusalem Resilience Centre,” Moser says. “That’s a lot of gelt…. but I think we can do it!
It is definitely a worthy cause.”
Local News
What was in a letter sent to Etz Chayim Congregation that led to Winnipeg police visiting the home of the sender and the barring of the sender – along with their family, from coming to Etz Chayim?
By BERNIE BELLAN (June 2, 2025) On Friday, May 30, we received an email from an individual that immediately aroused our curiosity – and which subsequently led to an exchange of emails with both that individual and the Chief Operating Officer of Etz Chayim Congregation.
At the time of writing we have no idea what was in the letter that elicited such a strong reaction from the COO and President of Etz Chayim Congregation.
Here, in chronological order, are the emails we received, along with emails we sent in response to those emails:
email received Friday, November 30, at 12:42 pm from an individual whose name will not be revealed:
“I have just had a pair of police officers at the door telling me that we are now banned from Etz Chayim and if we show up the police will be called, no reasons given. I suspect it was an accumulation of things, including a letter I sent.”
email received Friday 2:40 pm from Morissa Granove, COO of Etz Chayim Congregation and Allan Cogan, President (Note: Although I am not a member of Etz Chayim Congregation I do receive emails from them, as I do from other Winnipeg congregations):
“Dear Congregation Etz Chayim Community,
“Please click HERE to read a letter informing you of an important CEC Safety & Security Update.
“Thank you,
“Morissa.
“Morissa Granove
“Chief Operating Officer
“Congregation Etz Chayim – Winnipeg, Manitoba
“Phone 204.589.6305 ext. 107 | Fax 204.582.0246
“1155 Wilkes Ave, Winnipeg, MB, Canada, R3P 1B9”
Here are the contents of the letter to which Morissa and Allan referred in their email:
“Congregation Etz Chayim – Safety and Security Update”
“May 30th, 2025
“Dear Members & Friends of Congregation Etz Chayim,
“As a sacred community (kehillah kedoshah), we are writing to inform you of an important matter concerning the safety and well-being of our congregation.
“On Tuesday, May 27th, we received deeply troubling correspondence from a member of our community. The nature of this communication raised serious concerns about the safety of our congregants and staff. After careful and deliberate consultation with our Board of Directors, Clergy, the Winnipeg Police Service, the Jewish Security Network, and the Secure Community Network (in partnership with the USCJ), and on their recommendations we have made the difficult but necessary decision to terminate the membership of this individual and all members of their household, effective immediately.
“These individuals are no longer permitted on the premises of Congregation Etz Chayim, nor may they participate in any of our synagogue’s programs or activities.
“We did not take this action lightly. It was made with a heavy heart and a steadfast commitment to protecting our spiritual home and all those who enter it. We are grateful for your trust and partnership as we continue to strengthen our kehillah. May we go from strength to strength—chazak v’ematz—with faith in one another and a deep sense of pride in our Jewish identity and values.
“Thank you for your continued faith and understanding,
“Morissa Granove and Allan Cogan.
“COO and President, CEC”
email we sent to Congregation Etz Chayim Friday 3:45 pm in response to the email received from Morissa Granove and Allan Cogan (My email has been edited to remove anything that would specifically identify whether the sender of the email was a man or a woman):
“Hi,
“I received an email from …telling me that (they are) now banned from the Etz Chayim. I assume… is also banned too, judging by the way your email (sent to congregation members) is worded.
“I don’t know …at all – I can’t begin to imagine what (they) might have written, but in the interest of fair reporting and fuller disclosure, can you say anything more about what (they) wrote in (their) letter?
“-Bernie Bellan
“Publisher,
“jewishpostandnews.ca
“also Associate Editor,
“The Jewish Post Winnipeg”
email received from Morissa Granove Friday 5:19 pm
“Hi Bernie.
“Thank you for reaching out, and for your commitment to fairer reporting.
“At this time, I am not comfortable commenting on a private matter between our shul and this now past member as this is an extremely sensitive and delicate matter. Out of respect for … I will let … decide the path forward that we all take from here and “if” … chooses to have any misinformation published/reported, only then do I feel it’s necessary for CEC to chime in. I encourage you to request a copy of the letter from … and we have no issue with you printing …words should … choose to provide them to you. The decision was forwarded to the WPS for review due to its concerning nature, as well as with SCN and JSN; all of whom separately and unanimously advised to take this matter seriously and to take this next step.
“If …does choose to make any comments to the media or he provides you with a copy of the letter and we see any discrepancies that need to be corrected on record, we will certainly be in touch to have you make the necessary amendments. If you would like to share any articles in draft form before you go to print to see if we have anything more to add then, I am more than willing to work with you in an attempt to avoid any unintended slander or need for amendments.
“Thank you,
“Morissa.
“Morissa Granove
“Chief Operating Officer
“Congregation Etz Chayim – Winnipeg, Manitoba”
email received Friday at 10:51 pm from the individual who wrote the letter to Etz Chayim that set everything off:
“First, please find attached a screenshot of a letter forwarded to us by a friend – we did not receive it. (Ed. note: The ‘letter” would be the letter sent to members of Etz Chayim Congregation earlier that day.) Given the completely outrageous and unfounded allegations in this letter and a police visit with no paperwork presented to us, we have contacted a lawyer and should probably not share anything more until we have talked to him. That will be Wednesday at the earliest, thanks to Shavuot. I trust you understand my not sharing the letter at this time. Hopefully I will be able to soon.
“Needless to say, we are astounded and our poor kids are devastated. B-B Camp #2, here we come.”