Features
Book Review: “The Matchmaker’s Gift”
By BERNIE BELLAN Given the subject matter of Beatty Cohan’s column elsewhere on this site – online dating, I thought it appropriate to write about a book I recently finished reading, titled “The Matchmaker’s Gift,” by Lynda Cohen Loigman, which was released last fall.
Now, ordinarily, I think it’s fair to presume that a title like that would engender more interest among women than men and, to be honest, I can’t remember why it is that I chose to download this particular book on to my Kindle a couple of months ago. Whatever the reason, I quite enjoyed reading “The Matchmaker’s Gift.” It was only after I had finished reading it, however – and after I had read the author’s notes, that I discovered I had also read the very first book Cohen Loigman had written, titled “The Two-Family House,” which was published in 2016.
That book had been chosen for what was then known as “The People of the Book Club” at the Rady JCC by the late Sharon Freed, who was the facilitator for that club. But, why would I write that I would think a book about matchmaking would be of particular interest to women? Maybe it’s because we tend to associate the profession of matchmaking with “Yenta the Matchmaker” from “Fiddler on the Roof,” more than anything else.
But, as I discovered during the course of reading “The Matchmaker’s Gift,” at least in New York in the early part of the 20th century, matchmaking as a profession within the Jewish community was reserved for men. In fact, that becomes one of the principal themes of the book, as we are introduced to a character by the name of Sara Glikman, who discovers, unbeknownst to her, that she has a rare and secret talent whereby she is able to determine a perfect match between two total strangers through some mystical power that she possesses.
In an earlier age no doubt Sara would have probably been considered a witch within different cultures. The notion of someone having fantastical powers is, of course, an enduring theme throughout history, and when those powers are set within a modern day context, they often become a source of amusement, as in all the superpower heroes that have come to dominate a good part of our culture.
Yet, in “The Matchmaker’s Gift,” Sara Glikman neither chooses to practice matchmaking nor does she relish the opportunity to engage in the craft. She simply comes to realize that she has a unique gift for being able to put unlikely couples together.
Parallel to Sara’s story we come to read about Sara’s granddaughter, Abby, who is a young lawyer in New York, and someone totally removed from the world of matchmaking – or so we are led to believe.
Cohen-Loigman interweaves the story of Sara’s forays into matchmaking with Abby’s very demanding legal career. The element that both women have in common is that they are able to recognize when two people are right for each other or, as is the case with Abby while she is working for a very hard driving attorney who specialized in putting together pre-nup agreements: when two people who are headed toward marriage – and seem to be compatible on the surface – are not at all right for each other.
Given how common it was for our ancestors to have been put together by way of a “shidduch,” or “match,” I’m sure that most of us would have wondered how those long-ago marriages would have worked out in this day and age. I can well recall watching my own maternal grandparents engaged in fierce arguments over the years when I was growing up. I wasn’t close enough to my paternal grandparents to notice whether the same applied to them, but while reading “The Matchmaker’s Gift,” memories of what seemed to be odd marriages did re-enter my mind.
Sara Glikman though, as talented as she may be with her supernatural ability to anticipate when two total strangers would make perfectly attuned marriage partners, does come up against the prevailing practice of the day, which is to have only men arrange marriages. Since she must keep her unique ability a secret, her carefully thought-out plans to bring various couples together once she discovers that they are meant for one another rely upon a great deal of deception and planned accidental meetings.
Once the male matchmakers of New York come to be aware of Sara’s forays into their world, however, she is brought forward in a “bet din” (house of judgment) where she is forced to account for her behavior.
Similarly, Sara’s granddaughter, Abby, has to defend herself when she is exposed as having intervened in a number of situations, either to stave off a doomed relationship or to facilitate one among unlikely mates. Her boss, Evelyn Morgan, is the consummate hard driving career woman who herself has no time for romance and once she realizes that Abby has actually been sabotaging Evelyn’s meticulous pre-nup work, all hell breaks loose.
It’s all quite endearing and really quite fantastical, but at the same time, after reading all of the information Beatty Cohan gives about online dating in her column this issue and how prominent a role it plays in determining relationships, especially, as Beatty notes, among gay men, I was intrigued enough to want to do more research about online dating among Jews in particular.
While it is still the case that, within the Orthodox Jewish community, the role of “matchmaker” is accorded a very special prominence, many non-Orthodox Jews also rely upon matchmakers, it turns out, especially within cities that have high Jewish populations.
According to an article on the “Israel Hayom” or “Israel Today” website, matchmaking among Jews has zoomed upwards in popularity since Covid. Many individuals were dissatisfied with such well-known apps as “JDate,” although a related app, “JSwipe,” has become the most popular app among Jews using apps to look for a relationship with other Jews.
According to that article, which you can find at ttps://www.israelhayom.com/2022/06/17/jewish-dating-game-sees-matchmaking-become-hottest-trend-in-us/, the frustration that so many Jewish users have had in using dating apps has contributed to a skyrocketing use of matchmaking within the Jewish community.
But, in “The Matchmaker’s Gift,” the notion that matchmaking would be superior to other forms of finding a mate is actually made fun of. Both Sara Glikman and her granddaughter Abby fight against prevailing ideas about matchmaking. Instead of seeing elements in common between the men and women who eventually end up getting matched by both Sara and Abby, they rely on some sort of mystical intervention to reveal who is best suited to whom. (Sara actually sees a “strand of golden light” forming a line between two strangers throughout her life.) Later, upon reading her grandmother’s journals, in which she has meticulously documented each of her matches, Abby at first scoffs at what she is reading, then comes to realize that everything was true.
It all makes for a terrific yarn, but in the end, perhaps the lesson to be learned, both from “The Matchmaker’s Gift” and what is going on in the contemporary Jewish dating world is that whatever works is valid.
Features
The Magic of DNA
By GERRY POSNER This is my story, but it just as easily could have been yours. Even at my older age, a new relative popped into the family. This was unexpected to me and the whole family and indeed the new family member as well.
Put the blame on or credit to DNA. What transpired I suspect is happening all over the world these days. That is, there is now a new first cousin in the family. Call her KBP. It seems that KBP took a test through ancestry.com not that long ago, just as I had done years ago. When you take the test, you end up receiving messages from Ancestry from time to time identifying people who have similar genetic markers to you, some closer than others. I have looked at these messages and have identified people I know to be my cousins just from the initials. However, most of the initials listed are completely unknown to me. These lists of relatives go on for pages and pages. I struggle with the value of trying to reach these distant relatives because, even if I can connect with any of them, no one can figure out just how we are related. What would we even talk about should we ever meet? Often, I just ignore the lists as there seem to be too many names to contemplate a possible contact.
As it turned out, KBP also took the same test with the same company, ancestry.com. But she also failed to notice a connection between her and anyone else. This story would have ended there but for the intervention of another cousin who also had taken the DNA spit test with Ancestry. This cousin spotted the relationship and alerted me. Once that occurred, we established a connection and then the rest of this story developed.
What took place some almost seventy years ago was the cause of this new relationship. Recall ( and this is particularly relevant to young readers) the decade of the 1950s was an era when abortion, though present, was in back lanes or in the shadows. Most of the time a child born out of wedlock was put up for adoption. In this case, an uncle and his then non-Jewish partner elected to put the child up for adoption and she was adopted into a family located in Alberta where she grew up. That would have been the end of the story – but for DNA.
My new cousin was ecstatic to find out about the whole new family she was now a part of and whose history was now hers. Even though she is now a Mormon, she was eager to explore her Jewish origins and indeed even came with me and my wife to synagogue at the Beth Tzedec Synagogue in Calgary not that long ago. She had much in common with the family. Most of all, she was so happy to delve into a past previously unknown. On the other hand, her birth mother, still alive at 93, rejected meeting her daughter from so long ago. KBP respects that view and has made peace with just her new association with Dad’s family.
Of course, what made this secret such a well kept secret for so long is that the uncle died young and never told anyone. Who then could have known? The truth is out and I, for one, am glad it is now out there. Not everyone in my family agrees with me, but the main protagonist in this tale, KBP, was supportive of my writing this article. Of course, the real test now is to see if and how this new relationship with KBP unfolds, if at all.
As I said in the beginning, this is not an isolated story. You can bet there are hundreds, maybe thousands of such stories out there waiting to be unearthed and told. It is all about DNA.
Features
Kevin Leach and the Sabre Training Advisory Group: Providing training assistance to the Ukrainian military
By MARTIN ZEILIG As a private citizen, Kevin Leach is following the example of the Government of Canada by providing much needed assistance to our democratic ally, Ukraine, in its fight against the unprovoked war of aggression launched by Russia on February 24, 2022.
Mr. Leach, who grew up in Palgrave, Ontario and lived in Toronto before moving to Ukraine, is the founder of the Sabre Training Advisory Group, a not-for-profit organization geared towards providing training assistance Ukraine’s military. He is a 10-year veteran of the Canadian Armed Forces, and served as an OSCE ceasefire observer in Ukraine from 2018 until the full-scale invasion in February 2022.
He founded the STAG in November 2022.
“Since the beginning of 2022, Canada has committed $4 billion in military assistance to Ukraine,” says the Government of Canada website.
“This funding will allow Canada to deliver military assistance to Ukraine through to 2029. We deeply admire the bravery and courage of Ukrainians who are fighting to defend their independence and freedom, and we will continue to work closely with our Allies and partners to help Ukraine defend its sovereignty and security Canada and Ukraine are close partners with a long-standing defence relationship.”
As well, Operation (Op) UNIFIER, the Canadian Armed Forces (CAF) military training and capacity building mission in Ukraine, “was launched in 2015 at the request of the Ukrainian government,” and in 2023, was expanded and extended until March 2026.
“Since the start of Op UNIFIER, the CAF has trained approximately 41,000 Ukrainian military and security personnel in battlefield tactics and advanced military skills,” says the online information.
“As the mission progressed, much of the direct training undertaken by CAF members transitioned to members of the Armed Forces of Ukraine, with Canadians acting as advisors and mentors as well as assisting in the development of courses.”
“Ukraine’s fight is a fight for international law, for the United Nations Charter, and for innocent civilians, including children, who deserve to live in peace,” Prime Minister Justin Trudeau says on his website.
Besides military aid and training, Canada has also provided significant economic support, and humanitarian assistance to Ukraine, and has welcomed tens of thousands Ukrainian refugees fleeing the war into our country.
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Mr. Leach, who is a frequent guest on the Mriya Report, a 24/7 site on X that provides in-depth information on the war, agreed to an email interview with this reporter.
Q: What was your motivation in forming STAG?
KL: Sabre is a professional military training non-profit. Our aim is to give Ukrainian defenders the skills to come home alive. We are building the capacity for Ukraine to defend itself against Russian aggression.
Sabre Training Advisory Group grew out of the frustrations its founding members had with the chaotic and unprofessional way that many foreign instructors were attempting to train Ukrainian soldiers in the NATO and Allied style of warfare.
Q: Who else works with you in the STAG?
KL: We have a team of volunteers from all over the world. They are former soldiers from Canada, the US, UK, and even Australia, plus our local Ukrainian volunteers. Our executive staff, besides myself, are two former officers from the British Army and US Marine Corps, respectively.
Q: Do you work closely with the Government of Ukraine or Ukraine’s military and/or the Canadian Armed Forces?
KL: We don’t work closely at this time with any civilian government, but we have an official partnership with the 4th Rapid Reaction Brigade “Rubizh”. As we’re still a relatively small organization, we don’t warrant much attention from governments.
Q: What else that you would like the public to know about your work?
KL: Training inside of Ukraine is vital. It is far more efficient than moving large numbers of Ukrainian troops around Europe, and being here puts us closer to the action, and allows us to adjust faster to lessons learned on the battlefield. We also need support! It is hard to fund a program like ours, as it’s quite unique. Typically the role we are filling would be performed by private military contractors, which are illegal in Ukraine and carry severe political risk due to public perception of these companies.
We set out to establish a high standard, using proper training techniques and taking a systematic approach to instruction. In just a few short months we were able to secure a high-quality training area, and a team of excellent instructors who draw on decades of collected military experience. We have successfully trained over 3000 Ukrainian warriors and medics, equipping them with essential skills and knowledge to excel on the battlefield. Our track record of tangible results demonstrates our commitment to the mission and the decisive impact on Ukrainian defenders.
For further information, visit the STAG website: www.sabretag.org
Features
Exploring 8 Innovative New Services in In-Home Care
In-home care has evolved significantly in recent years, driven by advancements in technology, changing demographics, and an increased focus on personalized care. These innovative services are transforming the way support is delivered, enhancing the quality of life for seniors and individuals with disabilities. Here are some of the most exciting and groundbreaking innovations that families can depend on when it comes to their space and the best practices to ensure comfort and safety.
Telehealth and Telemedicine
Telehealth and telemedicine have revolutionized health care by providing remote access to services. Through video consultations, seniors and caregivers can communicate with doctors, nurses, and specialists without leaving their homes. This reduces the need for frequent visits to health facilities, which can be challenging for those with mobility issues. Telehealth also enables continuous monitoring of chronic conditions, allowing providers to adjust treatments promptly and prevent complications.
Remote Monitoring and Wearable Devices
Wearable devices and remote monitoring systems are becoming essential tools. These devices can track vital signs such as heart rate, blood pressure, and oxygen levels, providing real-time data to caregivers and health professionals. Advanced systems can detect falls, monitor medication adherence, and even predict health issues before they become severe. This proactive approach allows for timely interventions, improving outcomes and enhancing the safety of in-home recipients.
Virtual Companionship and Social Engagement
Loneliness and social isolation are significant concerns for seniors living at home. Virtual companionship services, such as those provided by robots or virtual assistants, offer interaction and engagement to mitigate these issues. These technologies can remind individuals to take their medications, guide them through exercises, and provide cognitive stimulation through games and conversations. Additionally, platforms that facilitate virtual social gatherings and activities help seniors stay connected with family and friends, promoting mental and emotional well-being.
Personalized Care Plans and Artificial Intelligence
Artificial intelligence (AI) is playing a crucial role in developing personalized plans. AI algorithms can analyze data from various sources, including health records, lifestyle habits, and genetic information, to create customized strategies. These plans are tailored to the unique needs and preferences of each individual, ensuring they receive the most appropriate and effective solutions. AI can also assist caregivers by predicting potential health issues and suggesting preventive measures, thereby enhancing the overall quality of support.
Smart Home Technology
Smart technology is making it easier for seniors to live independently. Voice-activated assistants like Amazon’s Alexa and Google Home can control lights, thermostats, and appliances, reducing the physical effort required for daily tasks. Smart systems can also include sensors that detect movement, alerting caregivers if there is unusual activity or inactivity. This technology not only improves safety but also provides peace of mind for both the recipients and their families.
On-Demand and Flexible Care Services
The gig economy has introduced on-demand services to the in-home care industry. Platforms like Honor and CareLinx allow families to find and hire support quickly, providing flexibility and convenience. These services offer a wide range of options, from a few hours of assistance to round-the-clock support, accommodating the varying needs of individuals. The ability to schedule help on short notice ensures that support is available when it’s needed most. This includes teams like the one at Parners for Home Care; more on their services and support options can be found on their website: https://partnersforhomecare.ca/
Integrative Health and Wellness Programs
Holistic approaches to health and wellness are gaining traction – and for good reason. Integrative health programs combine traditional medical care with complementary therapies such as yoga, meditation, nutrition counseling, and physical therapy. These programs focus on the overall well-being of the individual, addressing physical, mental, and emotional health. As a result of promoting a balanced and healthy lifestyle, integrative health services can enhance the quality of life and prevent the onset of chronic conditions.
Enhanced Training and Support for Caregivers
Innovative training programs for caregivers are crucial in improving the quality of in-home care. Virtual reality (VR) and augmented reality (AR) technologies provide immersive training experiences, allowing support workers to practice and develop their skills in realistic scenarios. Additionally, online platforms offer ongoing education and support, helping individuals stay updated on best practices and new developments in the field. Enhanced training ensures that everyone is well-prepared to meet the diverse needs of their clients.
The Future of In-Home Care Services
The way we grow and age in comfort is rapidly changing, thanks to these innovative services and technologies. Telehealth, remote monitoring, virtual companionship, AI-driven plans, smart technology, on-demand services, integrative health programs, and enhanced training are all contributing to more personalized, efficient, and effective support. As these innovations continue to evolve, they hold the promise of significantly improving the lives of those who rely on in-home care, allowing them to age gracefully and independently in the comfort of their own spaces.