Features
BUYER BEWARE: Be Careful Who You Entrust With Your Physical, Sexual and Mental Health
A recent New York Times article by Alix Strauss: “Setting Couples on the Path to a Richer Sex Life,” in which she interviewed Cyndi Darnell, a Manhattan clinical sexologist, sex therapist, and relationship coach, piqued my interest. Ms Darnell states that “when it comes to sex, everyone seems to struggle. I teach people how their bodies work from a pleasure perspective and how to identify what makes sex meaningful for them and give them the skills they need to navigate the difficulties they face while creating a richer sex life.”
On the surface, Ms Darnell’s therapeutic goal for dealing with sexual issues is laudable. However, in my experience in treating thousands of men and women for over 35 year, I have found that not “everyone struggles.” More importantly, Ms. Darnell fails to include many other crucial factors that need to be acknowledged, addressed and resolved BEFORE people will be able to have satisfying sex lives. Among them are an understanding that:
- Each person needs to be in a reasonably healthy emotional, psychological and psychiatric state. Issues including clinical depression, anxiety and other psychiatric problems, low self-esteem, eating disorders, body dysmorphic disorder, early child sexual abuse, sexual assault, post traumatic stress disorder, domestic violence, divorce, the discovery that one’s spouse is having an extramarital affair, sudden layoffs, and unemployment, all affect our sexual desire in one way or another. All of these issues need to be dealt with, since they will invariably interfere with our being able to live our life to the fullest both in and out of the bedroom.
- Our relationships need to be healthy and satisfying if we are to enjoy a satisfying sexual relationship. This is particularly true for the majority of women.
Sexual side effects from a multitude of prescription and over the counter medications, including SSRI’s, high blood pressure medication, alcohol and pot can and do interfere with people’s sex lives. This is precisely why doctors and patients need to talk about sex and the medications that can have an adverse effect on sexual desire, arousal and orgasm.
Issues including pain with intercourse and other physical problems affect sexual desire. These problems, worries and concerns need to be discussed with your doctor. And if your doctor does not bring up the subject of sex, patients needs to be proactive and be willing to take the initiative and ask the tough and perhaps embarrassing questions. We do not need to navigate this frightening and confusing journey on our own. Remember that even though you may have zero desire for sex, non-sexual touch can feel wonderful and can also help couples feel connected.
Our hormone levels including testosterone for men and estrogen for women also affect our sex drive. It’s yet another issue that needs a doctor/patient discussion(s).
Erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation are common problems with a variety of evidence based treatment options.
Communication and sensate focus exercises are very helpful for all couples, whether they are experiencing sexual difficulties or not. However, ignoring the other factors that I’ve described gives an incomplete picture of the complexity of human sexual functioning.
CASE STUDY: Beatty Cohan
Last summer I awoke one morning and immediately felt the twinges, discomfort and pain associated with a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI). I tried the usual remedies of cranberry extract, D-mannose, AZO, an over the counter remedy, and drank what seemed to me to be gallons of water. Nothing was working. It was time to go to an Urgent Care Center, since my gynecologist, Dr. Judith Schwartz, was out of town. Big mistake! I was examined by two different male doctors at two different Urgent Care Centers on the Upper West Side. Both prescribed antibiotics. Unfortunately, my symptoms persisted. When I returned to my original Urgent Care physician he recommended a variety of tests including an ultrasound and an x-ray. Neither test explained my symptoms. We then discussed the possibility of exploratory surgery. I began to panic. Was there something really wrong with me? By this time, Dr. Schwartz had returned to New York. I made an appointment to see her, describing the various tests and remedies that I had tried. She looked at me and smiled. “Beatty,” she said, “your estrogen levels are low. “ She prescribed estrogen pellets, which I insert twice a week. Within a few days I was symptom free. Had I not been fortunate to see Dr. Schwartz and receive an accurate diagnosis and treatment, it’s hard to know what crazy and medically harmful journey I might have found myself on.
How careful we all must be who we let into our lives both personally and professionally.
***I am not diagnosing, prescribing or recommending any treatment for UTI’s. Nor am I suggesting that all male doctors would have missed, which turned out to be a fairly obvious problem.
Beatty Cohan, MSW, LCSW, AASECT is a nationally recognized psychotherapist, sex therapist, author for “Better for Worse Forever: Discover the Path to Lasting Love,” columnist, national speaker, national radio and television expert guest, consultant to Organa, an Israeli Sexual Wellness company, and host of the weekly ASK BEATTY SHOW on the Progressive Radio Network. She has a private practice in New York City and East Hampton. Beatty would love to hear from you. You can send her your questions and comments to BeattyCohan.msw@gmail.com. For more information go to BeattyCohan.com
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Features
The Magic of DNA
By GERRY POSNER This is my story, but it just as easily could have been yours. Even at my older age, a new relative popped into the family. This was unexpected to me and the whole family and indeed the new family member as well.
Put the blame on or credit to DNA. What transpired I suspect is happening all over the world these days. That is, there is now a new first cousin in the family. Call her KBP. It seems that KBP took a test through ancestry.com not that long ago, just as I had done years ago. When you take the test, you end up receiving messages from Ancestry from time to time identifying people who have similar genetic markers to you, some closer than others. I have looked at these messages and have identified people I know to be my cousins just from the initials. However, most of the initials listed are completely unknown to me. These lists of relatives go on for pages and pages. I struggle with the value of trying to reach these distant relatives because, even if I can connect with any of them, no one can figure out just how we are related. What would we even talk about should we ever meet? Often, I just ignore the lists as there seem to be too many names to contemplate a possible contact.
As it turned out, KBP also took the same test with the same company, ancestry.com. But she also failed to notice a connection between her and anyone else. This story would have ended there but for the intervention of another cousin who also had taken the DNA spit test with Ancestry. This cousin spotted the relationship and alerted me. Once that occurred, we established a connection and then the rest of this story developed.
What took place some almost seventy years ago was the cause of this new relationship. Recall ( and this is particularly relevant to young readers) the decade of the 1950s was an era when abortion, though present, was in back lanes or in the shadows. Most of the time a child born out of wedlock was put up for adoption. In this case, an uncle and his then non-Jewish partner elected to put the child up for adoption and she was adopted into a family located in Alberta where she grew up. That would have been the end of the story – but for DNA.
My new cousin was ecstatic to find out about the whole new family she was now a part of and whose history was now hers. Even though she is now a Mormon, she was eager to explore her Jewish origins and indeed even came with me and my wife to synagogue at the Beth Tzedec Synagogue in Calgary not that long ago. She had much in common with the family. Most of all, she was so happy to delve into a past previously unknown. On the other hand, her birth mother, still alive at 93, rejected meeting her daughter from so long ago. KBP respects that view and has made peace with just her new association with Dad’s family.
Of course, what made this secret such a well kept secret for so long is that the uncle died young and never told anyone. Who then could have known? The truth is out and I, for one, am glad it is now out there. Not everyone in my family agrees with me, but the main protagonist in this tale, KBP, was supportive of my writing this article. Of course, the real test now is to see if and how this new relationship with KBP unfolds, if at all.
As I said in the beginning, this is not an isolated story. You can bet there are hundreds, maybe thousands of such stories out there waiting to be unearthed and told. It is all about DNA.
Features
Kevin Leach and the Sabre Training Advisory Group: Providing training assistance to the Ukrainian military
By MARTIN ZEILIG As a private citizen, Kevin Leach is following the example of the Government of Canada by providing much needed assistance to our democratic ally, Ukraine, in its fight against the unprovoked war of aggression launched by Russia on February 24, 2022.
Mr. Leach, who grew up in Palgrave, Ontario and lived in Toronto before moving to Ukraine, is the founder of the Sabre Training Advisory Group, a not-for-profit organization geared towards providing training assistance Ukraine’s military. He is a 10-year veteran of the Canadian Armed Forces, and served as an OSCE ceasefire observer in Ukraine from 2018 until the full-scale invasion in February 2022.
He founded the STAG in November 2022.
“Since the beginning of 2022, Canada has committed $4 billion in military assistance to Ukraine,” says the Government of Canada website.
“This funding will allow Canada to deliver military assistance to Ukraine through to 2029. We deeply admire the bravery and courage of Ukrainians who are fighting to defend their independence and freedom, and we will continue to work closely with our Allies and partners to help Ukraine defend its sovereignty and security Canada and Ukraine are close partners with a long-standing defence relationship.”
As well, Operation (Op) UNIFIER, the Canadian Armed Forces (CAF) military training and capacity building mission in Ukraine, “was launched in 2015 at the request of the Ukrainian government,” and in 2023, was expanded and extended until March 2026.
“Since the start of Op UNIFIER, the CAF has trained approximately 41,000 Ukrainian military and security personnel in battlefield tactics and advanced military skills,” says the online information.
“As the mission progressed, much of the direct training undertaken by CAF members transitioned to members of the Armed Forces of Ukraine, with Canadians acting as advisors and mentors as well as assisting in the development of courses.”
“Ukraine’s fight is a fight for international law, for the United Nations Charter, and for innocent civilians, including children, who deserve to live in peace,” Prime Minister Justin Trudeau says on his website.
Besides military aid and training, Canada has also provided significant economic support, and humanitarian assistance to Ukraine, and has welcomed tens of thousands Ukrainian refugees fleeing the war into our country.
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Mr. Leach, who is a frequent guest on the Mriya Report, a 24/7 site on X that provides in-depth information on the war, agreed to an email interview with this reporter.
Q: What was your motivation in forming STAG?
KL: Sabre is a professional military training non-profit. Our aim is to give Ukrainian defenders the skills to come home alive. We are building the capacity for Ukraine to defend itself against Russian aggression.
Sabre Training Advisory Group grew out of the frustrations its founding members had with the chaotic and unprofessional way that many foreign instructors were attempting to train Ukrainian soldiers in the NATO and Allied style of warfare.
Q: Who else works with you in the STAG?
KL: We have a team of volunteers from all over the world. They are former soldiers from Canada, the US, UK, and even Australia, plus our local Ukrainian volunteers. Our executive staff, besides myself, are two former officers from the British Army and US Marine Corps, respectively.
Q: Do you work closely with the Government of Ukraine or Ukraine’s military and/or the Canadian Armed Forces?
KL: We don’t work closely at this time with any civilian government, but we have an official partnership with the 4th Rapid Reaction Brigade “Rubizh”. As we’re still a relatively small organization, we don’t warrant much attention from governments.
Q: What else that you would like the public to know about your work?
KL: Training inside of Ukraine is vital. It is far more efficient than moving large numbers of Ukrainian troops around Europe, and being here puts us closer to the action, and allows us to adjust faster to lessons learned on the battlefield. We also need support! It is hard to fund a program like ours, as it’s quite unique. Typically the role we are filling would be performed by private military contractors, which are illegal in Ukraine and carry severe political risk due to public perception of these companies.
We set out to establish a high standard, using proper training techniques and taking a systematic approach to instruction. In just a few short months we were able to secure a high-quality training area, and a team of excellent instructors who draw on decades of collected military experience. We have successfully trained over 3000 Ukrainian warriors and medics, equipping them with essential skills and knowledge to excel on the battlefield. Our track record of tangible results demonstrates our commitment to the mission and the decisive impact on Ukrainian defenders.
For further information, visit the STAG website: www.sabretag.org
Features
Exploring 8 Innovative New Services in In-Home Care
In-home care has evolved significantly in recent years, driven by advancements in technology, changing demographics, and an increased focus on personalized care. These innovative services are transforming the way support is delivered, enhancing the quality of life for seniors and individuals with disabilities. Here are some of the most exciting and groundbreaking innovations that families can depend on when it comes to their space and the best practices to ensure comfort and safety.
Telehealth and Telemedicine
Telehealth and telemedicine have revolutionized health care by providing remote access to services. Through video consultations, seniors and caregivers can communicate with doctors, nurses, and specialists without leaving their homes. This reduces the need for frequent visits to health facilities, which can be challenging for those with mobility issues. Telehealth also enables continuous monitoring of chronic conditions, allowing providers to adjust treatments promptly and prevent complications.
Remote Monitoring and Wearable Devices
Wearable devices and remote monitoring systems are becoming essential tools. These devices can track vital signs such as heart rate, blood pressure, and oxygen levels, providing real-time data to caregivers and health professionals. Advanced systems can detect falls, monitor medication adherence, and even predict health issues before they become severe. This proactive approach allows for timely interventions, improving outcomes and enhancing the safety of in-home recipients.
Virtual Companionship and Social Engagement
Loneliness and social isolation are significant concerns for seniors living at home. Virtual companionship services, such as those provided by robots or virtual assistants, offer interaction and engagement to mitigate these issues. These technologies can remind individuals to take their medications, guide them through exercises, and provide cognitive stimulation through games and conversations. Additionally, platforms that facilitate virtual social gatherings and activities help seniors stay connected with family and friends, promoting mental and emotional well-being.
Personalized Care Plans and Artificial Intelligence
Artificial intelligence (AI) is playing a crucial role in developing personalized plans. AI algorithms can analyze data from various sources, including health records, lifestyle habits, and genetic information, to create customized strategies. These plans are tailored to the unique needs and preferences of each individual, ensuring they receive the most appropriate and effective solutions. AI can also assist caregivers by predicting potential health issues and suggesting preventive measures, thereby enhancing the overall quality of support.
Smart Home Technology
Smart technology is making it easier for seniors to live independently. Voice-activated assistants like Amazon’s Alexa and Google Home can control lights, thermostats, and appliances, reducing the physical effort required for daily tasks. Smart systems can also include sensors that detect movement, alerting caregivers if there is unusual activity or inactivity. This technology not only improves safety but also provides peace of mind for both the recipients and their families.
On-Demand and Flexible Care Services
The gig economy has introduced on-demand services to the in-home care industry. Platforms like Honor and CareLinx allow families to find and hire support quickly, providing flexibility and convenience. These services offer a wide range of options, from a few hours of assistance to round-the-clock support, accommodating the varying needs of individuals. The ability to schedule help on short notice ensures that support is available when it’s needed most. This includes teams like the one at Parners for Home Care; more on their services and support options can be found on their website: https://partnersforhomecare.ca/
Integrative Health and Wellness Programs
Holistic approaches to health and wellness are gaining traction – and for good reason. Integrative health programs combine traditional medical care with complementary therapies such as yoga, meditation, nutrition counseling, and physical therapy. These programs focus on the overall well-being of the individual, addressing physical, mental, and emotional health. As a result of promoting a balanced and healthy lifestyle, integrative health services can enhance the quality of life and prevent the onset of chronic conditions.
Enhanced Training and Support for Caregivers
Innovative training programs for caregivers are crucial in improving the quality of in-home care. Virtual reality (VR) and augmented reality (AR) technologies provide immersive training experiences, allowing support workers to practice and develop their skills in realistic scenarios. Additionally, online platforms offer ongoing education and support, helping individuals stay updated on best practices and new developments in the field. Enhanced training ensures that everyone is well-prepared to meet the diverse needs of their clients.
The Future of In-Home Care Services
The way we grow and age in comfort is rapidly changing, thanks to these innovative services and technologies. Telehealth, remote monitoring, virtual companionship, AI-driven plans, smart technology, on-demand services, integrative health programs, and enhanced training are all contributing to more personalized, efficient, and effective support. As these innovations continue to evolve, they hold the promise of significantly improving the lives of those who rely on in-home care, allowing them to age gracefully and independently in the comfort of their own spaces.