RSS
How Jewish parents can help kids deal with a flood of pain on social media — beyond just looking away
(JTA) — “Teenagers wake up in the morning. They get dressed, brush their teeth, and check their social media. But this technology is not just what they do, it is who they are.”
David wrote those sentences back in 2009. Now, almost 15 years later, this more true than ever for teens and tweens. Particularly with the catalyst of the pandemic, their lives often take place and connections are built through screens.
Since Oct. 7, as social media filled up with unspeakable images of the Hamas attack on Israel, countless articles quoted educational leaders urging parents to delete social media applications from their children’s devices. But offering parents one solution right now — to delete apps and try and prevent their children from seeing these images — is way too simplistic and perhaps even misguided.
The goal of that advice is to spare children from viewing the horrific images, emanating from Hamas, designed to instill fear in Israelis and all Jews around the world.
We support efforts to curtail the viewing and dissemination of these distressing posts; we now know that many of the videos are deliberately infected with falsehoods and malware to further intensify the terror, and we all need to safeguard our mental health and that of our loved ones. And we will be the first to recognize our own shortcomings as parents, especially in these challenging times.
So yes: As parents, our natural instinct is to protect our children. But as parents, and as a broader community, we can, and must do better than just telling people to look away from social media.
There has been violence and evil on these platforms before this week, and there will continue to be despicable content forevermore. Any Jewish educator involved with teaching the Holocaust has learned to navigate this.
Social media is also home to tremendous acts of kindness, philanthropy, compassion and goodwill. There are bonds and friendships formed and maintained on social media —and the distinction between virtual relationships and so-called “in-person” relationships is very blurry for tweens and teens. Many of our young people find social media, and the opportunity to express their authentic selves to their communities, to be a relief and a joy in a world that can be very lonely. To wholly disconnect children from social media is also to disconnect them from many of these positive attributes.
Parents at the very least should consider that the short-term need to protect their child might set up a confrontation that could pull them apart — at a moment when children may look to them for love, support and guidance.
Perhaps there is a middle ground. First, if parents gave permission to a child to install an app, they can also be responsible for ensuring the app is used in the right manner — much like parents will prepare a child to take public transportation for the first time or drive a car. The rules parents outline for social media also do not have to be static, and can change as rapidly as our understanding of the evolving situation changes.
Second, if parents believe they have the power of persuasion or coercion to delete social media from their child’s devices, parents also have the wherewithal to have a conversation with them. Talk about Israel right now, the power of social media and the pain and confusion of distressing videos.
And finally, if parents want to raise children who connect with their Israeli brothers and sisters beyond images of violence and vulnerability, they should give their children an affirming Jewish education (this might come across as a shameless plug for Jewish education — it is). We make no distinction between settings — day schools, congregational schools, Jewish summer camps, youth movements, or any other setting where Jewish learning takes place. It is not enough to be a parent who reacts when fearful; parents must also be proactive and give children the competencies and confidence to be able to take pride in their Jewish being — in good times and in bad.
A Jewish identity that is formed in reaction to hatred is not sustainable. It is natural that in moments when there is distress amongst the Jewish people, we will awaken to the depths of our innate bonds, and those instincts are beautiful. But without the building blocks of Jewish identity and joy to sustain our children throughout their lifelong Jewish journeys, affinity in moments of tragedy will not be enough.
Neither deleting apps nor sending children to a place of Jewish education absolves parents of their ultimate responsibility. The strength of all Jewish parents in the world combined cannot prevent these insidious images from entering a child’s device — even if it is stopped now, it is only a matter of time. Parents must learn and know and talk to their children, answer their questions, and be there for them and hug them, and talk to them about all of the good and the evil in this world.
Please protect your children. Also please help them acquire the tools that they need not just to weather these extremely dark days, but to thrive on the other side of this war.
—
The post How Jewish parents can help kids deal with a flood of pain on social media — beyond just looking away appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
RSS
Love Thy Neighbor as Thyself. Really?
JNS.org – If I asked you to name the most famous line in the Bible, what would you answer? While Shema Yisrael (“Hear O’Israel”) might get many votes, I imagine that the winning line would be “love thy neighbor as thyself” (Leviticus 19:18). Some religions refer to it as the Golden Rule, but all would agree that it is fundamental to any moral lifestyle. And it appears this week in our Torah reading, Kedoshim.
This is quite a tall order. Can we be expected to love other people as much as we love ourselves? Surely, this is an idealistic expectation. And yet, the Creator knows us better than we know ourselves. How can His Torah be so unrealistic?
The biblical commentaries offer a variety of explanations. Some, like Rambam (Maimonides), say that the focus should be on our behavior, rather than our feelings. We are expected to try our best or to treat others “as if” we genuinely love them.
Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi, in his classic text called the Tanya, argues that the actual feelings of love are, in fact, achievable provided that we focus on a person’s spirituality rather than how they present themselves physically. If we can put the soul over the body, we can do it.
Allow me to share the interpretation of the Ramban (Nachmanides), a 13th-century Torah scholar from Spain. His interpretation of the verses preceding love thy neighbor is classic and powerful, yet simple and straightforward.
“Do not hate your brother in your heart. You shall rebuke him, but do not bear a sin because of him” by embarrassing him in public. “Do not take revenge, and do not bear a grudge against your people. You shall love your fellow as yourself, I am God” (Leviticus 19:17-18).
What is the connection between these verses? Why is revenge and grudge-bearing in the same paragraph as love your fellow as yourself?
A careful reading shows that within these two verses are no less than six biblical commandments. But what is their sequence all about, and what is the connection between them?
The Ramban explains it beautifully, showing how the sequence of verses is deliberate and highlighting the Torah’s profound yet practical advice on how to maintain healthy relationships.
Someone wronged you? Don’t hate him in your heart. Speak to him. Don’t let it fester until it bursts, and makes you bitter and sick.
Instead, talk it out. Confront the person. Of course, do it respectfully. Don’t embarrass anyone in public, so that you don’t bear a sin because of them. But don’t let your hurt eat you up. Communicate!
If you approach the person who wronged you—not with hate in your heart but with respectful reproof—one of two things will happen. Either he or she will apologize and explain their perspective on the matter. Or that it was a misunderstanding and will get sorted out between you. Either way, you will feel happier and healthier.
Then you will not feel the need to take revenge or even to bear a grudge.
Here, says the Ramban, is the connection between these two verses. And if you follow this advice, only then will you be able to observe the commandment to Love Thy Neighbor. If you never tell him why you are upset, another may be completely unaware of his or her wrongdoing, and it will remain as a wound inside you and may never go away.
To sum up: Honest communication is the key to loving people.
Now, tell me the truth. Did you know that not taking revenge is a biblical commandment? In some cultures in Africa, revenge is a mitzvah! I’ve heard radio talk-show hosts invite listeners to share how they took “sweet revenge” on someone, as if it’s some kind of accomplishment.
Furthermore, did you know that bearing a grudge is forbidden by biblical law?
Here in South Africa, people refer to a grudge by its Yiddish name, a faribel. In other countries, people call it a broiges. Whatever the terminology, the Torah states explicitly: “Thou shalt not bear a grudge!” Do not keep a faribel, a broiges or resentment of any kind toward someone you believe wronged you. Talk to that person. Share your feelings honestly. If you do it respectfully and do not demean the other’s dignity, then it can be resolved. Only then will you be able to love your fellow as yourself.
May all our grudges and feelings of resentment toward others be dealt with honestly and respectfully. May all our grudges be resolved as soon as possible. Then we will all be in a much better position to love our neighbors as ourselves.
The post Love Thy Neighbor as Thyself. Really? first appeared on Algemeiner.com.
RSS
‘Nonsense’: Huckabee Shoots Down Report Trump to Endorse Palestinian Statehood
US Ambassador to Israel Mike Huckabee looks on during the day he visits the Western Wall, Judaism’s holiest prayer site, in Jerusalem’s Old City, April 18, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Ronen Zvulun
i24 News – US Ambassador to Israel Mike Huckabee on Saturday dismissed as nonsensical the report that President Donald Trump would endorse Palestinian statehood during his tour to the Persian Gulf this week.
“This report is nonsense,” Huckabee harrumphed on his X account, blasting the Jerusalem Post as needing better sourced reporting. “Israel doesn’t have a better friend than the president of the United States.”
Trump is set to visit Saudi Arabia, Qatar, and the United Arab Emirates. The leader’s first trip overseas since he took office comes as Trump seeks the Gulf countries’ support in regional conflicts, including the Israel-Hamas war in Gaza and curbing Iran’s advancing nuclear program.
However, reports citing administration insiders claimed that Trump has also set his sights on the ambitious goal of expanding the Abraham Accords. These agreements, initially signed in 2020, normalized relations between Israel and the UAE, Bahrain, Morocco, and Sudan. The accords are widely held to be among the most important achievements of the first Trump administration.
The post ‘Nonsense’: Huckabee Shoots Down Report Trump to Endorse Palestinian Statehood first appeared on Algemeiner.com.
RSS
US to Put Military Option Back on Table If No Immediate Progress in Iran Talks
US President Donald Trump’s Middle East envoy-designate Steve Witkoff gives a speech at the inaugural parade inside Capital One Arena on the inauguration day of Trump’s second presidential term, in Washington, DC, Jan. 20, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Carlos Barria
i24 News – Unless significant progress is registered in Sunday’s round of nuclear talks with Iran, the US will consider putting the military option back on the table, sources close to US envoy Steve Witkoff told i24NEWS.
American and Iranian representatives voiced optimism after the previous talks that took place in Oman and Rome, saying there was a friendly atmosphere despite the two countries’ decades of enmity.
However the two sides are not believed to have thrashed out the all-important technical details, and basic questions remain.
The source has also underscored the significance of the administration’s choice of Michael Anton, the State Department’s policy planning director, as the lead representative in the nuclear talks’ technical phases.
Anton is “an Iran expert and someone who knows how to cut a deal with Iran,” the source said, saying that the choice reflected Trump’s desire to secure the deal.
The post US to Put Military Option Back on Table If No Immediate Progress in Iran Talks first appeared on Algemeiner.com.