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‘I wanted to be more me’: Teens propel a trend toward gender-neutral mitzvah ceremonies
This article was produced as part of JTA’s Teen Journalism Fellowship, a program that works with Jewish teens around the world to report on issues that affect their lives.
(JTA) — Like many Jewish teens, Ash Brave was nervous for their b’nai mitzvah. Memorizing the Torah portion, sending invitations, planning a party: It’s a lot for a 13-year-old to think about during what can already be an anxiety-filled age.
Despite the typical stress involved with preparing to enter the adult Jewish community, Brave cheerfully described their gender-neutral b’nai mitzvah last summer, recalling feeling “really supported [by] the whole synagogue.” For teens like Brave, an eighth grader from Boulder, Colorado who uses he and they pronouns interchangeably, gender-inclusive b’nai mitzvahs (often termed “b’mitzvahs”) offer an opportunity to come of age as their full selves.
Across the country, there is an expanding list of Jewish community centers, day schools, Hillels, organizations and more that include and celebrate LGBTQ+ identities. Many synagogues are following suit with the ceremonies they offer and the language they use. Some congregations are initiating these changes on their own; in other cases, the teens themselves are propelling the shifts.
Traditionally, most synagogues hold gendered b’nai mitzvah, with bar mitzvahs for boys and bat mitzvahs for girls (“b’nai” is the Hebrew plural form meanings “sons and daughters,” although it is technically masculine). Increasingly, many Jewish congregations are moving towards gender-inclusive b’nai mitzvah ceremonies. Synagogues like Har Hashem, a Reform synagogue in Boulder, have been offering these ceremonies for years at the request of their congregants. Because of these shifts, many gender nonconforming Jewish teens feel a deeper sense of belonging in their religious communities.
According to Rabbi Fred Greene of Har Hashem, the synagogue holds approximately 25 b’nai mitzvah ceremonies annually. In the last year, three of those were gender-neutral. Although the congregation has offered the option for almost five years, this is the first year they have had teens opting for the inclusive version. Greene said that the congregation also has teens who have transitioned after their b’nai mitzvah. He estimates that they have 5-7 teen congregants who identify as trans or genderqueer, meaning they do not identify with the gender they were assigned at birth.
B’mitzvahs at Har Hashem mirror the traditional gendered ceremonies in everything but language. “We have folks that don’t feel like a ‘ben’ or a ‘bat,’” said Greene, using the Hebrew words meaning “son” and “daughter.” “So we come up with other Hebrew terms, [such as] ‘beit,’ which is from “the house of [parent name].” He said that a number of changes can be made to the Hebrew to increase inclusivity, ranging from the creation of new terms to using the infinitive version of words that would otherwise be gendered. “We’re not treating anybody any differently, other than being sensitive to their needs,” he said.
Ruby Marx, a 16-year-old who uses she/her pronouns, had a gender-neutral b’mitzvah with Temple Beth Zion in the Boston area in early 2020, pre-pandemic. “I always knew that I was gonna have to have [a b’nai mitzvah]. But when it came time to start thinking about it, I was like, ‘I really don’t feel comfortable having a bat mitzvah.’ But I wasn’t comfortable [having a bar mitzvah], either. So someone suggested that I do something in the middle. And that felt right for me.”
Marx, who describes herself as gender-fluid, was the first teen in her congregation to have a ceremony that didn’t fall within either the bar or bat categories. In the years following, several other teens in her community have had gender-neutral ceremonies, including one having an upcoming ceremony in mid-March.
“I don’t think anyone else had done something like that before,” said Marx. “I think a lot of other kids started to feel comfortable being like, ‘oh, maybe that’s something I would want to do,’ or incorporating different things that they’re passionate about [into their ceremonies].”
For her ceremony, she wore a prayer shawl featuring rainbow trimming and various rock n’ roll patches from her favorite bands. Marx said that the most rewarding part of her experience has been being a trailblazer for inclusion in her congregation. “It definitely feels good to know that I can help other kids feel comfortable being who they are, because I know that sometimes I’m not always comfortable being who I am. It’s nice to know that kids can look up to me,” she said.
Gender inclusion in b’nai mitzvahs has been expanding for decades, beginning with the American introduction of the bat mitzvah in 1922 for the daughter of Rabbi Mordecai Kaplan, the founder of Reconstructionism, in New York City. Before that, only boys were allowed to engage in the important coming of age tradition. After Judith Kaplan’s ceremony, the custom slowly spread across the country in non-Orthodox synagogues. For decades, however, the ceremonies for girls differed from those offered to boys: In many synagogues, girls were not allowed to read from the Torah, and their services were held on Friday nights rather than Saturday mornings. Orthodox synagogues were slow in accepting the bat mitzvah, and still maintain strict gender roles in synagogue.
Ruby Marx playing the guitar during a benefit concert they held for their mitzvah project. (Courtesy Pamela Joy Photography).
As feminism progressed both outside and within Jewish communities, girls pushed to be allowed to read from the Torah and to be counted towards a minyan, the 10-person quorum required for public prayer. Full bat mitzvahs became an accepted norm. A similar pattern is now occurring for b’mitzvahs.
As a coming of age ritual, b’nai mitzvahs occupy a unique role in Jewish life. Their goal is to integrate young Jews into the broader community, signaling that they have the knowledge and maturity to take on adult ritual responsibilities. Because of this, many young trans Jews wish to have a ceremony that will fully reflect them as they become more involved in their community and beyond.
Brave, the Colorado teen, chose to have their ceremony gender-neutral to ensure it still fit them down the road. “I don’t really know what I’m going to identify as in the future, because identity is fluid. And while I may be comfortable right now with being closer to a male identity, [later] I might be less comfortable with that,” they said.
Marx, the gender fluid teen outside of Boston, said entering the community as her authentic self was an integral part of her choice. “I had grown up watching all my cousins, and then my sister, have [ceremonies]. Afterwards, they were a lot more independent in their Jewish identity. That was something that appealed to me, because I wanted to be connected to the Jewish community, but I wanted to do it in my own way,” said Marx.
B’mitzvahs aren’t the only gender-inclusive ceremony offered now. Many Reform congregations have also created ceremonies for gender transitions, Hebrew name changes, and coming out, often based on a curriculum offered by the Central Conference of American Rabbis. “These are holy moments of growth and transformation, and we want to be supportive in their journeys,” Rabbi Greene of Har Hashem said. Brave also had a ceremony with Har Hashem to change their Hebrew name, and the synagogue made them an updated yad — a pointer used in reading Torah — to match.
Teens who were not able to do their ceremony gender-neutral say having access to inclusive ceremonies would have increased the enjoyment and meaning of their b’nai mitzvahs. “I would have felt more like I was stepping into my own skin, instead of the skin [of someone] that I was pretending to be,” said Mica Newmark. The 17-year-old, who uses they/them pronouns, had a gendered ceremony at Nevei Kodesh, a Renewal synagogue in Boulder, before coming into their identity more. Since their ceremony, Newmark has grown apart from religion. “I don’t really relate anymore,” they said.
Even teens who were more clear on their identity struggled with having gendered ceremonies. Jay, a 15-year-old from Boulder, came out immediately following their ceremony. (Jay, estranged from a parent who has a leadership role in their synagogue, asked that their last name be omitted.) They found the ceremony “pretty stressful” and their coming out experience difficult, explaining that they wanted everyone to understand the concept of existing outside of the gender binary, but didn’t feel that was possible at the time. “I had really long hair then, so I wanted to cut it, and just be more me,” Jay said. “But I was really stressed, because I knew I was going to get misgendered at the ceremony.”
Keshet publishes a guide to “design and support affirming b’mitzvah celebrations.” (Keshet)
In the following years, Jay helped to institute the use of pronoun pins at synagogue events, as well as generally making an effort to educate community members on transgender issues. “I think [gender-neutral ceremonies] allow queer Jewish people to embrace their religion and continue to flourish within Judaism without feeling gendered,” they said.
Keshet, a national Jewish LGBTQ+ organization, published a guide for b’mitzvah ceremonies. “Celebrating the Age of Mitzvah: A Guide for all Genders” includes information from what to call the ceremony to what the dress code should be, all aimed at helping communities create inclusive and meaningful traditions.
The need for the resources came from synagogues and young congregants, said Jackie Maris, the Chicago education and training manager for the organization. “It’s not just Jewish boys and girls becoming Jewish men and women, it’s Jewish kids of all gender identities becoming Jewish adults,” said Maris. “Having a tool that helps guide everyone through that process, with gender-expansive language and rituals that include folks beyond the binary, is very needed.”
Keshet recently updated the resources. “Adjusting practices to make them more inclusive is what has always been done in Jewish tradition,” said Maris. “Even ancient practices and rituals have evolved over time, and because they are human constructed, we continue to humanly evolve them.”
However, a number of communities still mainly offer gendered ceremonies. Orthodox synagogues and others that are non-egalitarian have not made widespread shifts towards gender-neutral ceremonies.
Despite the strict gender separation in Orthodoxy, there is also a growing push for inclusion of LGBTQ+ individuals in these spaces. Organizations like Eshel, a nonprofit based in the United States and Canada, work to provide LGBTQ+ Orthodox jews and their families with resources for living and thriving in Orthodox Jewish spaces. Other organizations are targeted specifically at teens, such as Jewish Queer Youth, which engages queer youth from Orthodox, Hasidic and traditionalist Sephardi/Mizrahi communities.
“LGBTQ youth who live in a community that is accepting of LGBTQ people reported significantly lower rates of attempting suicide than those who do not,” reports The Trevor Project. For both Brave and Marx, their communities, families and friends were largely supportive of their decision to have non-gendered ceremonies. “It definitely felt like the community showed me a lot of love to be able to do that,” Marx said. “I was really able to be myself.”
By expanding inclusion, Jewish institutions are expanding their reach and impact, as well as creating more engaging communities. “I don’t think that God creates in vain. And so, while there’s a lot of people that are still learning, including myself, about issues relating to gender and identity, our role as a sacred space and a Jewish community is to have an open tent where folks can enter in any doorway they want, because there are no doors,” said Rabbi Greene of Har Hashem.
Brave said that their ceremony made them feel fully included in their synagogue. “It felt good to officially be a part of a community that I can’t really get taken away from,” they said.
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The post ‘I wanted to be more me’: Teens propel a trend toward gender-neutral mitzvah ceremonies appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
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Iran Vows to Keep Strait of Hormuz Closed in New Leader’s First Statement
Iran’s new supreme leader, Mojtaba Khamenei, the second son of late Iran’s Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, attends a meeting in Tehran, Iran, July 18, 2016. Photo: Amir Kholousi/ISNA/WANA (West Asia News Agency) via REUTERS
Iran will fight on and keep the Strait of Hormuz shut as leverage against the United States and Israel, new Supreme Leader Mojtaba Khamenei said on Thursday in the first comments attributed to him since he succeeded his slain father.
Khamenei did not appear in person, and the remarks were read out by a state television presenter. No images have been released of him since an Israeli strike at the start of the war that killed much of his family, including his father and wife.
Thursday’s statement struck a defiant tone, with Khamenei calling on Iran‘s neighbors to shut US bases on their territory and warning that Iran would continue to target them.
“I assure everyone that we will not neglect avenging the blood of your martyrs,” said the hardline cleric who is close to Iran‘s top military force.
“The popular demand is to continue our effective defense and make the enemy regret it. The lever of blocking the Strait of Hormuz must continue to be used,” he added, referring to the shipping route through which a fifth of global oil normally passes along Iran‘s coast.
State television offered no explanation for why the message was read out rather than delivered in person. Iranian officials have said Khamenei was lightly wounded in the initial Feb. 28 airstrikes, but the extent of his injuries is unclear.
The prospect that one of the most severe disruptions ever to hit global energy supplies could drag on sent oil prices surging back above $100 a barrel, after falling back earlier in the week on hopes of a swift end to the conflict.
TANKERS ABLAZE IN IRAQI PORT
Shortly after the address was read out, the Revolutionary Guards announced they would keep the strait shut in line with his orders.
Two tankers were ablaze in an Iraqi port on Thursday after a hit by suspected Iranian explosive-laden boats, a clear sign of defiance toward US President Donald Trump, who said on Wednesday the United States had already won the war.
Images verified by Reuters as filmed from the Iraqi port of Basra showed ships engulfed in massive orange fireballs that lit up the night sky. At least one crew member was killed.
Hours earlier, three other ships were struck in the Gulf. Iran‘s Revolutionary Guards claimed responsibility for at least one attack – on a Thai bulk carrier that was set ablaze – saying it had disobeyed their orders. Another container vessel reported being struck by an unknown projectile near the United Arab Emirates.
In another front of the unpredictable war, Israeli airstrikes hit a building in central Beirut on Thursday, sending thick smoke above the Lebanese capital.
Israel also ordered residents out of another swathe of southern Lebanon, intensifying its offensive against the Iran-backed Hezbollah group after it fired its biggest volley of rockets into Israel since the start of the war.
So far the war has killed more than 2,000 people, including almost 700 in Lebanon.
AS DRONES FLY, TRUMP SAYS US WILL BENEFIT
Undermining US and Israeli claims to have knocked out much of Iran‘s stock of long-range weapons, more drones were reported on Thursday flying into Kuwait, Iraq, the UAE, Bahrain, and Oman.
Iran has said it will not let oil back through Hormuz until US and Israeli attacks cease, but Trump played down the surge in energy prices, saying Washington would ultimately benefit.
“The United States is the largest Oil Producer in the World, by far, so when oil prices go up, we make a lot of money,” he wrote on social media, adding that “of far greater interest and importance to me, as President, is stopping an evil Empire, Iran, from having Nuclear Weapons.”
The US is a net oil exporter but also the world’s biggest oil consumer, burning roughly twice as much as the European Union. Economists say sustained high prices would drive broad inflation.
In separate comments, Trump said the Iranian men’s national soccer team was welcome to participate in the 2026 World Cup, which the US is co-hosting, but added that it was not appropriate that they be there “for their own life and safety.”
‘SECURITY FORCES ARE EVERYWHERE’
Inside Iran, residents said security forces were increasing their presence on the streets to demonstrate continued control.
“Security forces are everywhere, more than before. People are afraid to come out, but supermarkets are open,” teacher Majan, 35, said by phone from Tehran.
Three sources told Reuters that US intelligence indicated that Iran‘s leadership remained largely intact and not at risk of imminent collapse.
Israel and the United States have called on Iranians to rise up and topple their clerical rulers. Many Iranians want change and some openly celebrated the elder supreme leader’s death on the war’s first day, after his forces had killed thousands of anti‑government protesters in January. But there has been no sign of organized dissent while the country is under attack.
TEHRAN SEEKS PROLONGED ECONOMIC SHOCK
Khamenei’s remarks reinforce Iran‘s message that its strategy now is to impose a prolonged economic shock to force Trump to back off. A spokesperson for Iran‘s military command said on Wednesday that the world should prepare for oil prices of $200 a barrel.
US Energy Secretary Chris Wright said on Thursday he did not expect that to happen, but did not totally rule it out. “I would say unlikely, but we are focused on the military operation and solving a problem,” Wright told CNN.
Thursday’s oil price surge came despite the announcement the previous day that developed countries would release 400 million barrels of oil from their strategic reserves, nearly half from the United States.
That is by far the biggest-ever coordinated intervention in oil markets. But releasing the reserves will take months, and account for just three weeks of supply from the blockaded strait.
“The only way to see oil prices trade lower on a sustained basis is by getting oil flowing through the Strait of Hormuz,” ING analysts said.
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Israel Strikes Beirut, Prepares to Expand Lebanon Operations After Hezbollah Fires Volley of Rockets
Smoke rises after an Israeli strike on Beirut’s southern suburbs, Lebanon, March 11, 2026, following an escalation between Hezbollah and Israel amid the US-Israeli conflict with Iran. Photo: REUTERS/Raghed Waked
Israeli airstrikes hit a building in the heart of Beirut on Thursday and Israel ordered residents out of another swathe of southern Lebanon, intensifying its offensive against the Iran-backed Hezbollah terrorist group.
The airstrike at around 5:30 pm (1530 GMT) hit a building in the Bachoura neighborhood, around 1 km (mile) from the Lebanese government’s Grand Serail headquarters in downtown Beirut.
Before the strike, the Israeli military issued a warning telling residents they were near a Hezbollah facility against which it intended to action.
Israel launched an air and ground offensive last week against Hezbollah, which started the conflict when it launched attacks at Israel on March 2 that it said aimed to avenge the killing of Iran’s supreme leader at the start of the US-Israeli war on Iran.
Hezbollah has fired rockets and drones at Israel every day since, including its largest barrage late on Wednesday that triggered heavy Israeli strikes on Beirut‘s southern suburbs.
In the Wednesday night launches, Hezbollah said it had launched dozens of rockets into northern Israel as part of a “series of operations,” indicating there could be more to come. Lebanese security sources told Reuters more than 100 rockets were launched.
A senior Israeli defense official said Iran and Hezbollah had launched a joint missile attack, describing it as the first coordinated action against Israel since the war began.
Israel’s ambulance service said two people had been lightly wounded by the rockets.
The Israeli strikes on Beirut‘s southern suburbs began almost immediately after Hezbollah’s attack, sending half a dozen consecutive booms reverberating across the city. The Israeli military said it struck 10 Hezbollah structures within 30 minutes, including a headquarters of its elite Radwan unit.
Beirut‘s skyline was covered in thick smoke, Reuters footage showed. In one of the bombed locations, flickering orange flames were visible late into the night.
Israel’s military has repeatedly ordered residents of the southern suburbs to leave over the last week, prompting a displacement crisis as government shelters struggle to cope.
On Wednesday night, after strikes began, the Israeli military said it would “soon act with overwhelming force” against Hezbollah and that residents should leave immediately.
Israel has pounded Lebanon’s south and east and the capital’s southern suburbs, killing more than 600 people, according to Lebanese authorities. It has also ordered mass evacuations in those same areas, pushing more than 800,000 people out of their homes.
Israeli Defense Minister Israel Katz said the military had been instructed to expand its operations in Lebanon.
“We promised quiet and security to the communities of the north, and that is exactly what we will deliver,” he said at a meeting with senior military officials.
The Israeli military says it has struck hundreds of Hezbollah targets since March 2, launching daily airstrikes in the south, Beirut‘s southern suburbs, and the eastern Bekaa Valley.
Israel’s military ordered reinforcements to the area bordering Lebanon including its elite Golani Brigade and has also sent soldiers into southern Lebanon, establishing new positions there.
Reuters reported on Tuesday that Hezbollah fighters were braced for the possibility of a full-scale Israeli invasion of the south.
Lebanon said last year it aims to establish a state monopoly on arms and its cabinet last week outlawed Hezbollah’s military activities.
But Israel’s ambassador to the United Nations Danny Danon said on Wednesday that Beirut needed to take direct action.
“If Hezbollah is being dismantled, what are the evidence? What are the operations against the launch sites? Where are the seizures of their weapons? Where is your military?” Danon said.
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Bombing Can Weaken Iranian Regime, but Only Popular Uprising Can Overthrow It, Dissidents Say
Members of the police stand guard on a street, with a large billboard featuring Iran’s late Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei in the background, amid the US-Israeli conflict with Iran, in Tehran, Iran, March 12, 2026. Photo: REUTERS/Alaa Al-Marjani
A senior official from a Paris-based Iranian opposition group said on Thursday that the US-Israeli war on Iran would not topple the clerical leadership, arguing that only a popular uprising backed by internal resistance could do so.
Almost two weeks of bombing have killed around 2,000 people in Iran including supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, and damaged much of its military and security apparatus.
Iran has responded in kind, throwing global energy markets and transport into chaos and spreading the conflict across the Middle East, while the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps has tightened its grip on power and threatened to crush any unrest.
“The 12-day war in June, and the current war, now in its 12th day, proved that bombings cannot overthrow the regime,” Mohammad Mohaddesin, head of foreign policy at the National Council of Resistance of Iran (NCRI), told a news conference.
“Even if you have 50,000 armed soldiers on the ground, you need the support of Iranian people. You need a popular uprising. The combination of this 50,000 or 20,000 or any other number with a popular uprising, then you have this power to overthrow the regime.”
Mohaddesin said he did not consider a deployment of US ground troops realistic.
The NCRI, also known by its Farsi name Mujahideen-e-Khalq, was listed as a terrorist organization by the United States until 2012.
It is banned in Iran, and it is unclear how much support it has there. However, along with its bitter rival, the monarchists backing Reza Pahlavi, exiled son of the toppled shah, it is one of the few opposition groups able to rally supporters.
Mohaddesin acknowledged that his group alone could not bring down the system. But he said mass protests, like those that raged in January until they were bloodily quashed, would resume once bombing stopped, and could eventually shift the balance.
“I cannot say how many months or a year, but … this is the track of overthrowing the regime,” he said.
Israeli officials have said that one of their objectives is to weaken the security apparatus so that Iran‘s people can take control of their own destiny.