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‘I wanted to be more me’: Teens propel a trend toward gender-neutral mitzvah ceremonies
This article was produced as part of JTA’s Teen Journalism Fellowship, a program that works with Jewish teens around the world to report on issues that affect their lives.
(JTA) — Like many Jewish teens, Ash Brave was nervous for their b’nai mitzvah. Memorizing the Torah portion, sending invitations, planning a party: It’s a lot for a 13-year-old to think about during what can already be an anxiety-filled age.
Despite the typical stress involved with preparing to enter the adult Jewish community, Brave cheerfully described their gender-neutral b’nai mitzvah last summer, recalling feeling “really supported [by] the whole synagogue.” For teens like Brave, an eighth grader from Boulder, Colorado who uses he and they pronouns interchangeably, gender-inclusive b’nai mitzvahs (often termed “b’mitzvahs”) offer an opportunity to come of age as their full selves.
Across the country, there is an expanding list of Jewish community centers, day schools, Hillels, organizations and more that include and celebrate LGBTQ+ identities. Many synagogues are following suit with the ceremonies they offer and the language they use. Some congregations are initiating these changes on their own; in other cases, the teens themselves are propelling the shifts.
Traditionally, most synagogues hold gendered b’nai mitzvah, with bar mitzvahs for boys and bat mitzvahs for girls (“b’nai” is the Hebrew plural form meanings “sons and daughters,” although it is technically masculine). Increasingly, many Jewish congregations are moving towards gender-inclusive b’nai mitzvah ceremonies. Synagogues like Har Hashem, a Reform synagogue in Boulder, have been offering these ceremonies for years at the request of their congregants. Because of these shifts, many gender nonconforming Jewish teens feel a deeper sense of belonging in their religious communities.
According to Rabbi Fred Greene of Har Hashem, the synagogue holds approximately 25 b’nai mitzvah ceremonies annually. In the last year, three of those were gender-neutral. Although the congregation has offered the option for almost five years, this is the first year they have had teens opting for the inclusive version. Greene said that the congregation also has teens who have transitioned after their b’nai mitzvah. He estimates that they have 5-7 teen congregants who identify as trans or genderqueer, meaning they do not identify with the gender they were assigned at birth.
B’mitzvahs at Har Hashem mirror the traditional gendered ceremonies in everything but language. “We have folks that don’t feel like a ‘ben’ or a ‘bat,’” said Greene, using the Hebrew words meaning “son” and “daughter.” “So we come up with other Hebrew terms, [such as] ‘beit,’ which is from “the house of [parent name].” He said that a number of changes can be made to the Hebrew to increase inclusivity, ranging from the creation of new terms to using the infinitive version of words that would otherwise be gendered. “We’re not treating anybody any differently, other than being sensitive to their needs,” he said.
Ruby Marx, a 16-year-old who uses she/her pronouns, had a gender-neutral b’mitzvah with Temple Beth Zion in the Boston area in early 2020, pre-pandemic. “I always knew that I was gonna have to have [a b’nai mitzvah]. But when it came time to start thinking about it, I was like, ‘I really don’t feel comfortable having a bat mitzvah.’ But I wasn’t comfortable [having a bar mitzvah], either. So someone suggested that I do something in the middle. And that felt right for me.”
Marx, who describes herself as gender-fluid, was the first teen in her congregation to have a ceremony that didn’t fall within either the bar or bat categories. In the years following, several other teens in her community have had gender-neutral ceremonies, including one having an upcoming ceremony in mid-March.
“I don’t think anyone else had done something like that before,” said Marx. “I think a lot of other kids started to feel comfortable being like, ‘oh, maybe that’s something I would want to do,’ or incorporating different things that they’re passionate about [into their ceremonies].”
For her ceremony, she wore a prayer shawl featuring rainbow trimming and various rock n’ roll patches from her favorite bands. Marx said that the most rewarding part of her experience has been being a trailblazer for inclusion in her congregation. “It definitely feels good to know that I can help other kids feel comfortable being who they are, because I know that sometimes I’m not always comfortable being who I am. It’s nice to know that kids can look up to me,” she said.
Gender inclusion in b’nai mitzvahs has been expanding for decades, beginning with the American introduction of the bat mitzvah in 1922 for the daughter of Rabbi Mordecai Kaplan, the founder of Reconstructionism, in New York City. Before that, only boys were allowed to engage in the important coming of age tradition. After Judith Kaplan’s ceremony, the custom slowly spread across the country in non-Orthodox synagogues. For decades, however, the ceremonies for girls differed from those offered to boys: In many synagogues, girls were not allowed to read from the Torah, and their services were held on Friday nights rather than Saturday mornings. Orthodox synagogues were slow in accepting the bat mitzvah, and still maintain strict gender roles in synagogue.
Ruby Marx playing the guitar during a benefit concert they held for their mitzvah project. (Courtesy Pamela Joy Photography).
As feminism progressed both outside and within Jewish communities, girls pushed to be allowed to read from the Torah and to be counted towards a minyan, the 10-person quorum required for public prayer. Full bat mitzvahs became an accepted norm. A similar pattern is now occurring for b’mitzvahs.
As a coming of age ritual, b’nai mitzvahs occupy a unique role in Jewish life. Their goal is to integrate young Jews into the broader community, signaling that they have the knowledge and maturity to take on adult ritual responsibilities. Because of this, many young trans Jews wish to have a ceremony that will fully reflect them as they become more involved in their community and beyond.
Brave, the Colorado teen, chose to have their ceremony gender-neutral to ensure it still fit them down the road. “I don’t really know what I’m going to identify as in the future, because identity is fluid. And while I may be comfortable right now with being closer to a male identity, [later] I might be less comfortable with that,” they said.
Marx, the gender fluid teen outside of Boston, said entering the community as her authentic self was an integral part of her choice. “I had grown up watching all my cousins, and then my sister, have [ceremonies]. Afterwards, they were a lot more independent in their Jewish identity. That was something that appealed to me, because I wanted to be connected to the Jewish community, but I wanted to do it in my own way,” said Marx.
B’mitzvahs aren’t the only gender-inclusive ceremony offered now. Many Reform congregations have also created ceremonies for gender transitions, Hebrew name changes, and coming out, often based on a curriculum offered by the Central Conference of American Rabbis. “These are holy moments of growth and transformation, and we want to be supportive in their journeys,” Rabbi Greene of Har Hashem said. Brave also had a ceremony with Har Hashem to change their Hebrew name, and the synagogue made them an updated yad — a pointer used in reading Torah — to match.
Teens who were not able to do their ceremony gender-neutral say having access to inclusive ceremonies would have increased the enjoyment and meaning of their b’nai mitzvahs. “I would have felt more like I was stepping into my own skin, instead of the skin [of someone] that I was pretending to be,” said Mica Newmark. The 17-year-old, who uses they/them pronouns, had a gendered ceremony at Nevei Kodesh, a Renewal synagogue in Boulder, before coming into their identity more. Since their ceremony, Newmark has grown apart from religion. “I don’t really relate anymore,” they said.
Even teens who were more clear on their identity struggled with having gendered ceremonies. Jay, a 15-year-old from Boulder, came out immediately following their ceremony. (Jay, estranged from a parent who has a leadership role in their synagogue, asked that their last name be omitted.) They found the ceremony “pretty stressful” and their coming out experience difficult, explaining that they wanted everyone to understand the concept of existing outside of the gender binary, but didn’t feel that was possible at the time. “I had really long hair then, so I wanted to cut it, and just be more me,” Jay said. “But I was really stressed, because I knew I was going to get misgendered at the ceremony.”
Keshet publishes a guide to “design and support affirming b’mitzvah celebrations.” (Keshet)
In the following years, Jay helped to institute the use of pronoun pins at synagogue events, as well as generally making an effort to educate community members on transgender issues. “I think [gender-neutral ceremonies] allow queer Jewish people to embrace their religion and continue to flourish within Judaism without feeling gendered,” they said.
Keshet, a national Jewish LGBTQ+ organization, published a guide for b’mitzvah ceremonies. “Celebrating the Age of Mitzvah: A Guide for all Genders” includes information from what to call the ceremony to what the dress code should be, all aimed at helping communities create inclusive and meaningful traditions.
The need for the resources came from synagogues and young congregants, said Jackie Maris, the Chicago education and training manager for the organization. “It’s not just Jewish boys and girls becoming Jewish men and women, it’s Jewish kids of all gender identities becoming Jewish adults,” said Maris. “Having a tool that helps guide everyone through that process, with gender-expansive language and rituals that include folks beyond the binary, is very needed.”
Keshet recently updated the resources. “Adjusting practices to make them more inclusive is what has always been done in Jewish tradition,” said Maris. “Even ancient practices and rituals have evolved over time, and because they are human constructed, we continue to humanly evolve them.”
However, a number of communities still mainly offer gendered ceremonies. Orthodox synagogues and others that are non-egalitarian have not made widespread shifts towards gender-neutral ceremonies.
Despite the strict gender separation in Orthodoxy, there is also a growing push for inclusion of LGBTQ+ individuals in these spaces. Organizations like Eshel, a nonprofit based in the United States and Canada, work to provide LGBTQ+ Orthodox jews and their families with resources for living and thriving in Orthodox Jewish spaces. Other organizations are targeted specifically at teens, such as Jewish Queer Youth, which engages queer youth from Orthodox, Hasidic and traditionalist Sephardi/Mizrahi communities.
“LGBTQ youth who live in a community that is accepting of LGBTQ people reported significantly lower rates of attempting suicide than those who do not,” reports The Trevor Project. For both Brave and Marx, their communities, families and friends were largely supportive of their decision to have non-gendered ceremonies. “It definitely felt like the community showed me a lot of love to be able to do that,” Marx said. “I was really able to be myself.”
By expanding inclusion, Jewish institutions are expanding their reach and impact, as well as creating more engaging communities. “I don’t think that God creates in vain. And so, while there’s a lot of people that are still learning, including myself, about issues relating to gender and identity, our role as a sacred space and a Jewish community is to have an open tent where folks can enter in any doorway they want, because there are no doors,” said Rabbi Greene of Har Hashem.
Brave said that their ceremony made them feel fully included in their synagogue. “It felt good to officially be a part of a community that I can’t really get taken away from,” they said.
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The post ‘I wanted to be more me’: Teens propel a trend toward gender-neutral mitzvah ceremonies appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
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US and Iran Agree to Friday Talks in Oman but Still at Odds Over Agenda
Iran’s Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei speaks during a meeting in Tehran, Iran, Feb. 1, 2026. Photo: Office of the Iranian Supreme Leader/WANA (West Asia News Agency)/Handout via REUTERS
The US and Iran have agreed to hold talks in Oman on Friday, officials for both sides said, even as they remained at odds over Washington’s insistence that negotiations include Tehran’s missile arsenal and Iran’s vow to discuss only its nuclear program.
The delicate diplomatic effort comes amid heightened tensions as the US builds up forces in the Middle East and regional players seek to avoid a military confrontation that many fear could escalate into a wider war.
Differences in recent days over the scope and venue for the talks have raised doubts whether the meeting would take place, leaving open the possibility that US President Donald Trump could carry out his threat to strike Iran.
Asked on Wednesday whether Iran’s Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei should be worried, Trump told NBC News: “I would say he should be very worried. Yeah, he should be.” He added that “they’re negotiating with us” but did not elaborate.
After Trump spoke, US and Iranian officials said the two sides had agreed to shift the talks’ location to Muscat after initially accepting Istanbul.
But there was no indication they had found common ground on the agenda.
Iran has pushed to restrict the negotiations to discussing its long-running nuclear dispute with Western countries.
But US Secretary of State Marco Rubio presented a different view on Wednesday. “If the Iranians want to meet, we’re ready,” Rubio told reporters. But he added that talks would have to include the range of Iran’s ballistic missiles, its support for armed proxy groups around the Middle East, and its treatment of its own people, besides nuclear issues.
A senior Iranian official said, however, that Iran’s missile program was “off the table.” A second senior Iranian official said Tehran would welcome negotiations over the nuclear dispute but that US insistence on dealing with non-nuclear issues could jeopardize the talks.
Trump’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner, was due to take part in the talks, along with US special envoy Steve Witkoff and Iranian Foreign Minister Abbas Araqchi, officials said.
CHANGE OF VENUE
While the talks were originally slated for Turkey, Iran wanted the meeting to take place in Oman as a continuation of previous talks held in the Gulf Arab country that had focused strictly on Tehran’s nuclear program, a regional official said.
Iran says its nuclear activities are meant for peaceful, not military purposes, while the US and Israel have accused it of past efforts to develop nuclear weapons.
A Gulf official said the talks could be mediated by several countries, though Iran has indicated that it wants a two-way format limited to Washington and Tehran.
The diplomatic efforts follow Trump’s threats of military action against Iran during its bloody crackdown on protesters last month and the deployment of more naval power to the Gulf.
The US has sent thousands of troops to the Middle East since Trump threatened Iran last month – including an aircraft carrier, other warships, fighter jets, spy planes, and air refueling tankers.
After Israel and the United States bombed the Islamic Republic last summer, renewed friction has kindled fears among regional states of a major conflagration that could rebound on them or cause long-term chaos in Iran.
Trump has continued to weigh the option of strikes on Iran, sources say. Oil prices have risen on the tension.
NUCLEAR DISPUTE
Trump has warned that “bad things” would probably happen if a deal could not be reached, ratcheting up pressure on the Islamic Republic in a standoff that has led to mutual threats of airstrikes.
Iran’s leadership is increasingly worried a US strike could break its grip on power by driving an already enraged public back onto the streets, according to six current and former Iranian officials.
Trump, who stopped short of carrying out threats to intervene during last month’s crackdown, has since demanded nuclear concessions from Iran, sending a flotilla to its coast.
Iran also hopes for an agreement that could help lift Western sanctions over its nuclear program that have ravaged its economy – a major driver of last month’s unrest.
BALLISTIC MISSILE STOCKPILE
Iranian sources told Reuters last week that Trump had demanded three conditions for the resumption of talks: zero enrichment of uranium in Iran, limits on Tehran’s ballistic missile program, and an end to its support for regional proxies.
Iran has long said all three demands are unacceptable infringements of its sovereignty, but two Iranian officials told Reuters its clerical rulers saw the ballistic missile program, rather than uranium enrichment, as the bigger obstacle.
An Iranian official said there should not be preconditions for talks and that Iran was ready to show flexibility on uranium enrichment, which it says is for peaceful, not military purposes.
Since the US strikes in June, Tehran has said its uranium enrichment work has stopped.
In June, the United States struck Iranian nuclear targets, joining in at the close of a 12-day Israeli bombing campaign and Iran struck back at Israel with missiles and drones.
Iran said it replenished its missile stockpile after the war with Israel last year, warning it would unleash its missiles if its security is under threat.
Adding to tensions, on Tuesday the US military shot down an Iranian drone that “aggressively” approached the Abraham Lincoln aircraft carrier in the Arabian Sea, the US military said, in an incident first reported by Reuters.
In another incident in the Strait of Hormuz, the US Central Command said Iran’s Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps had approached a US-flagged tanker at speed and threatened to board and seize it.
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New York City Teen Arrested on Terrorism Charges Following Alleged Threat to ‘Rise Up and Kill All the Jews’
Illustrative: Police control the scene after a car repeatedly slammed into Chabad World Headquarters in Crown Heights section of Brooklyn. The driver was taken into custody. Photo: ZUMA Press Wire via Reuters Connect
Police in New York City arrested an unnamed 17-year-old boy at Renaissance Charter School in Jackson Heights, Queens, following a 911 call warning of a violent threat targeting Jews sent via email to more than 300 students.
Administrators informed law enforcement that the student had allegedly sent an email at 12:30 pm which read, “At 2pm we will rise up and kill all the Jews in this school and the city. F**k the Jews.” The suspect was taken into custody at approximately 3:30 pm. The NYPD’s Hate Crimes Task Force is investigating the incident.
The student faces charges of making a terroristic threat and aggravated harassment as a hate crime. The date of his initial arraignment remains pending.
“A violent, antisemitic threat made today at Renaissance Charter School is deeply disturbing and unacceptable,” New York State Sen. Jessica Ramos wrote Tuesday on X. “Hate and threats of violence have no place in our schools or our community.”
Ramos stated that she was “relieved that no one was harmed and that the student is in custody. This must be fully investigated by the Hate Crimes Task Force. Our Jewish neighbors, students, and families deserve safety, dignity, and protection. We will continue working with school leaders and law enforcement to keep our community safe.”
Moshe Spern, president of United Jewish Teachers, thanked Ramos for highlighting the crime.
“Unfortunately Jew hatred doesn’t just live in NYC public schools, it lives in Charter schools as well,” Spern posted on X. “This is scary for all Jewish New Yorkers and I’m calling on Renaissance Charter Schools to invest time and money to root out Jew hatred!”
The StopAntisemitism advocacy group commented that “this is yet another example of what ‘globalize the intifada’ looks like. Yet NYC has a mayor that won’t condemn this call to violence against Jews.”
New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani, a democratic socialist and avowed anti-Zionist who has made anti-Israel activism a cornerstone of his political career, was sworn into office on Jan. 1.
According to newly released figures from the New York City Police Department (NYPD), anti-Jewish hate crimes in the city spiked by 182 percent in January during Mamdani’s first month in office compared to the same period last year.
New York City hate crime investigators reviewed 58 incidents in January 2026, compared to 23 in January 2025, an increase of 152 percent. Of that total, there were 31 anti-Jewish hate crimes last month, which accounted for more than half of all the hate crime incidents, compared to only 11 anti-Jewish hate crimes in January 2025. Last month’s hate crimes targeted Jews more than any other group — Muslims were victimized the second most times with seven incidents.
Despite the increase in antisemitism, the NYPD reported an overall decrease in violent crime.
“The January data underscores a clear reality. Even as overall crime continues to fall, antisemitism remains the most prevalent form of hate crime in New York City, surging sharply at the outset of a new mayoral administration,” the Combat Antisemitism Movement (CAM) said of the data.
CAM highlighted multiple examples of antisemitism in the city last month, including a description of how “in one incident, two teenagers were charged after scrawling 73 swastikas on a playground used by Jewish children. In another, a rabbi was assaulted in Queens on International Holocaust Remembrance Day. Separately, a driver rammed a vehicle into an entrance of the Chabad headquarters in Brooklyn.”
Ramos wrote on Wednesday morning of another antisemitic threat at the school in Queens: “An adult caller made a violent, antisemitic threat against Renaissance Charter School this morning. This is unacceptable and will be taken seriously.”
Explaining an increase in security at the school, Ramos added that “the 115th Precinct will maintain a police presence today while the incident is investigated. Our Jewish students and families deserve safety, dignity, and peace of mind, and we will continue working with school leaders and community partners to ensure their protection.”
New York City Council Member Shekar Krishnan — who represents District 25, which includes Jackson Heights — commented on the situation.
“Antisemitism and hate have no place in New York City, especially in our schools,” Krishnan wrote Wednesday on X. “There have been two antisemitic incidents at a school in Jackson Heights this week. We are deeply concerned and are working closely with the school and the NYPD to investigate these matters.”
The incidents come amid a broader surge in antisemitic hate crimes across New York City over the last two years, following the Palestinian terrorist group Hamas’s Oct. 7, 2023, massacre across southern Israel.
Jews were targeted in the majority (54 percent) of all hate crimes perpetrated in New York City in 2024, according to data issued by the NYPD. A recent report released in December by the Mayor’s Office to Combat Antisemitism noted that figure rose to a staggering 62 percent in the first quarter of 2025, despite Jewish New Yorkers comprising a small minority of the city’s population.
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New Coalition Forms to Protect Israeli Businesses in New York From the Mamdani Administration
New York City mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani holds a press conference at the Unisphere in the Queens borough of New York City, US, Nov. 5, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Kylie Cooper
Business groups in New York have announced a new coalition to protect Israeli and Jewish businesses amid concerns that the administration of New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani will unfairly target them.
The New York-Israel Chamber of Commerce (NYICC) Coalition, announced on Monday, is a nonprofit partnership designed to protect Israeli-associated and Jewish-owned companies operating across New York State amid concerns of what organizers describe as discriminatory policies and a deteriorating security climate.
“Israeli companies bring innovation that improves the quality of life for New Yorkers and facilitates secure commerce for thousands of companies in almost every vertical industry,” Al Kinel, president of the NYICC Coalition, said in a statement. “The free enterprise system that made New York City strong and encouraged many Israeli founders to select New York City for US operations is at risk.”
Coalition leaders argue that recent municipal policy shifts, combined with an increase in antisemitic incidents, have created an environment that discourages investment and places employees and customers at risk. While Mamdani denies harboring any anti-Jewish bias, coalition members fear that Israeli-linked businesses could be disproportionately affected as his administration settles in.
Mamdani, a far-left democratic socialist who has made anti-Israel activism a cornerstone of his political career, has repeatedly accused Israel of “apartheid” and refused to recognize its right to exist as a Jewish state.
He has also been an outspoken supporter of the boycott, divestment, and sanctions (BDS) movement, which seeks to isolate Israel from the international community as a step toward its eventual elimination. Leaders of the BDS movement have repeatedly stated their goal is to destroy the world’s only Jewish state.
Such positions have raised alarm bells among not only New York’s Jewish community but also Israeli business owners and investors, who fear a hostile climate under Mamdani’s leadership.
On his first day in office, Mamdani revoked a series of executive orders enacted by his predecessor to combat antisemitism. Among the measures he nullified was an order that opposed the campaign to boycott Israel.
The NYICC Coalition’s formation comes as Israeli-founded firms play an increasingly central role in New York’s economy, particularly in the technology and innovation sectors.
A study released by the United States-Israel Business Alliance in October revealed that, based on 2024 data, 590 Israeli-founded companies directly created 27,471 jobs in New York City that year and indirectly created over 50,000 jobs when accounting for related factors, such as buying and shipping local products.
These firms generated $8.1 billion in total earnings, adding an estimated $12.4 billion in value to the city’s economy and $17.9 billion in total gross economic output.
As for the State of New York overall, the report, titled the “2025 New York – Israel Economic Impact Report,” found that 648 Israeli-founded companies generated $8.6 billion in total earnings and $19.5 billion in gross economic output, contributing a striking $13.3 billion in added value to the economy. These businesses also directly created 28,524 jobs and a total of 57,145 when accounting for related factors.
From financial tech leaders like Fireblocks to cybersecurity powerhouse Wiz, Israeli entrepreneurs have become indispensable to the city’s innovation ecosystem. The number of Israeli-founded “unicorns,” privately held companies with a valuation of at least $1 billion, operating in New York City has quadrupled since 2019, increasing from five to 20.
The NYICC Coalition includes major business such as the New York Israel Chamber of Commerce, the Business Council of New York State, the Greater New York Chamber of Commerce, and the Israel-America Chamber of Commerce, along with more than a dozen other partners.
Business leaders backing the initiative framed the effort as both economic and moral. Heather Mulligan, president and CEO of the Business Council of New York State, emphasized that New York’s prosperity depends on openness and equal treatment.
“New York City’s strength and growth have always come from its diversity and welcoming of entrepreneurs from around the world,” she said in a statement. “Like all employers, Israeli-founded businesses are an equally important part of our economy, creating jobs, leading innovation, and contributing to the economy of the communities where they operate. Prosperity and growth should be for everyone — regardless of race, gender, or creed — and there should be no place in the city or elsewhere for discrimination against any business or entrepreneur based on who they are or where they come from.”
The coalition outlined a three-part agenda focused on restoring fairness and competitiveness: advocating immediate policy corrections to protect business safety and security; promoting clear, predictable regulations that allow Israeli-founded firms to invest and grow; and providing coordinated support for Israeli tech and startup companies navigating regulatory challenges.
Mark Jaffe, president and CEO of the Greater New York Chamber and a coalition board member, warned that economic discrimination could carry long-term consequences.
“Israel is a strong friend and ally of the United States. Against all odds, Israel maintains a dynamic and capitalistic economy that provides billions of dollars and thousands of jobs here in NY,” Jaffe said.
Coalition members stressed that the initiative is not about special treatment, but about preserving New York’s reputation as a global hub for entrepreneurship. Galit Meyran, CEO of the Israel-America Chamber of Commerce and a board member, said coordinated action is necessary when political pressures translate into real-world threats.
“When political agendas lead to an economic environment where antisemitic threats and actions become the norm, immediate collective action is required,” she said.
The NYICC Coalition is inviting business owners, civic organizations, and concerned New Yorkers to join what it describes as a broader effort to restore safety to the city’s economic climate, arguing that protecting Israeli-founded businesses ultimately protects New York’s competitiveness itself.