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‘I wanted to be more me’: Teens propel a trend toward gender-neutral mitzvah ceremonies
This article was produced as part of JTA’s Teen Journalism Fellowship, a program that works with Jewish teens around the world to report on issues that affect their lives.
(JTA) — Like many Jewish teens, Ash Brave was nervous for their b’nai mitzvah. Memorizing the Torah portion, sending invitations, planning a party: It’s a lot for a 13-year-old to think about during what can already be an anxiety-filled age.
Despite the typical stress involved with preparing to enter the adult Jewish community, Brave cheerfully described their gender-neutral b’nai mitzvah last summer, recalling feeling “really supported [by] the whole synagogue.” For teens like Brave, an eighth grader from Boulder, Colorado who uses he and they pronouns interchangeably, gender-inclusive b’nai mitzvahs (often termed “b’mitzvahs”) offer an opportunity to come of age as their full selves.
Across the country, there is an expanding list of Jewish community centers, day schools, Hillels, organizations and more that include and celebrate LGBTQ+ identities. Many synagogues are following suit with the ceremonies they offer and the language they use. Some congregations are initiating these changes on their own; in other cases, the teens themselves are propelling the shifts.
Traditionally, most synagogues hold gendered b’nai mitzvah, with bar mitzvahs for boys and bat mitzvahs for girls (“b’nai” is the Hebrew plural form meanings “sons and daughters,” although it is technically masculine). Increasingly, many Jewish congregations are moving towards gender-inclusive b’nai mitzvah ceremonies. Synagogues like Har Hashem, a Reform synagogue in Boulder, have been offering these ceremonies for years at the request of their congregants. Because of these shifts, many gender nonconforming Jewish teens feel a deeper sense of belonging in their religious communities.
According to Rabbi Fred Greene of Har Hashem, the synagogue holds approximately 25 b’nai mitzvah ceremonies annually. In the last year, three of those were gender-neutral. Although the congregation has offered the option for almost five years, this is the first year they have had teens opting for the inclusive version. Greene said that the congregation also has teens who have transitioned after their b’nai mitzvah. He estimates that they have 5-7 teen congregants who identify as trans or genderqueer, meaning they do not identify with the gender they were assigned at birth.
B’mitzvahs at Har Hashem mirror the traditional gendered ceremonies in everything but language. “We have folks that don’t feel like a ‘ben’ or a ‘bat,’” said Greene, using the Hebrew words meaning “son” and “daughter.” “So we come up with other Hebrew terms, [such as] ‘beit,’ which is from “the house of [parent name].” He said that a number of changes can be made to the Hebrew to increase inclusivity, ranging from the creation of new terms to using the infinitive version of words that would otherwise be gendered. “We’re not treating anybody any differently, other than being sensitive to their needs,” he said.
Ruby Marx, a 16-year-old who uses she/her pronouns, had a gender-neutral b’mitzvah with Temple Beth Zion in the Boston area in early 2020, pre-pandemic. “I always knew that I was gonna have to have [a b’nai mitzvah]. But when it came time to start thinking about it, I was like, ‘I really don’t feel comfortable having a bat mitzvah.’ But I wasn’t comfortable [having a bar mitzvah], either. So someone suggested that I do something in the middle. And that felt right for me.”
Marx, who describes herself as gender-fluid, was the first teen in her congregation to have a ceremony that didn’t fall within either the bar or bat categories. In the years following, several other teens in her community have had gender-neutral ceremonies, including one having an upcoming ceremony in mid-March.
“I don’t think anyone else had done something like that before,” said Marx. “I think a lot of other kids started to feel comfortable being like, ‘oh, maybe that’s something I would want to do,’ or incorporating different things that they’re passionate about [into their ceremonies].”
For her ceremony, she wore a prayer shawl featuring rainbow trimming and various rock n’ roll patches from her favorite bands. Marx said that the most rewarding part of her experience has been being a trailblazer for inclusion in her congregation. “It definitely feels good to know that I can help other kids feel comfortable being who they are, because I know that sometimes I’m not always comfortable being who I am. It’s nice to know that kids can look up to me,” she said.
Gender inclusion in b’nai mitzvahs has been expanding for decades, beginning with the American introduction of the bat mitzvah in 1922 for the daughter of Rabbi Mordecai Kaplan, the founder of Reconstructionism, in New York City. Before that, only boys were allowed to engage in the important coming of age tradition. After Judith Kaplan’s ceremony, the custom slowly spread across the country in non-Orthodox synagogues. For decades, however, the ceremonies for girls differed from those offered to boys: In many synagogues, girls were not allowed to read from the Torah, and their services were held on Friday nights rather than Saturday mornings. Orthodox synagogues were slow in accepting the bat mitzvah, and still maintain strict gender roles in synagogue.
Ruby Marx playing the guitar during a benefit concert they held for their mitzvah project. (Courtesy Pamela Joy Photography).
As feminism progressed both outside and within Jewish communities, girls pushed to be allowed to read from the Torah and to be counted towards a minyan, the 10-person quorum required for public prayer. Full bat mitzvahs became an accepted norm. A similar pattern is now occurring for b’mitzvahs.
As a coming of age ritual, b’nai mitzvahs occupy a unique role in Jewish life. Their goal is to integrate young Jews into the broader community, signaling that they have the knowledge and maturity to take on adult ritual responsibilities. Because of this, many young trans Jews wish to have a ceremony that will fully reflect them as they become more involved in their community and beyond.
Brave, the Colorado teen, chose to have their ceremony gender-neutral to ensure it still fit them down the road. “I don’t really know what I’m going to identify as in the future, because identity is fluid. And while I may be comfortable right now with being closer to a male identity, [later] I might be less comfortable with that,” they said.
Marx, the gender fluid teen outside of Boston, said entering the community as her authentic self was an integral part of her choice. “I had grown up watching all my cousins, and then my sister, have [ceremonies]. Afterwards, they were a lot more independent in their Jewish identity. That was something that appealed to me, because I wanted to be connected to the Jewish community, but I wanted to do it in my own way,” said Marx.
B’mitzvahs aren’t the only gender-inclusive ceremony offered now. Many Reform congregations have also created ceremonies for gender transitions, Hebrew name changes, and coming out, often based on a curriculum offered by the Central Conference of American Rabbis. “These are holy moments of growth and transformation, and we want to be supportive in their journeys,” Rabbi Greene of Har Hashem said. Brave also had a ceremony with Har Hashem to change their Hebrew name, and the synagogue made them an updated yad — a pointer used in reading Torah — to match.
Teens who were not able to do their ceremony gender-neutral say having access to inclusive ceremonies would have increased the enjoyment and meaning of their b’nai mitzvahs. “I would have felt more like I was stepping into my own skin, instead of the skin [of someone] that I was pretending to be,” said Mica Newmark. The 17-year-old, who uses they/them pronouns, had a gendered ceremony at Nevei Kodesh, a Renewal synagogue in Boulder, before coming into their identity more. Since their ceremony, Newmark has grown apart from religion. “I don’t really relate anymore,” they said.
Even teens who were more clear on their identity struggled with having gendered ceremonies. Jay, a 15-year-old from Boulder, came out immediately following their ceremony. (Jay, estranged from a parent who has a leadership role in their synagogue, asked that their last name be omitted.) They found the ceremony “pretty stressful” and their coming out experience difficult, explaining that they wanted everyone to understand the concept of existing outside of the gender binary, but didn’t feel that was possible at the time. “I had really long hair then, so I wanted to cut it, and just be more me,” Jay said. “But I was really stressed, because I knew I was going to get misgendered at the ceremony.”
Keshet publishes a guide to “design and support affirming b’mitzvah celebrations.” (Keshet)
In the following years, Jay helped to institute the use of pronoun pins at synagogue events, as well as generally making an effort to educate community members on transgender issues. “I think [gender-neutral ceremonies] allow queer Jewish people to embrace their religion and continue to flourish within Judaism without feeling gendered,” they said.
Keshet, a national Jewish LGBTQ+ organization, published a guide for b’mitzvah ceremonies. “Celebrating the Age of Mitzvah: A Guide for all Genders” includes information from what to call the ceremony to what the dress code should be, all aimed at helping communities create inclusive and meaningful traditions.
The need for the resources came from synagogues and young congregants, said Jackie Maris, the Chicago education and training manager for the organization. “It’s not just Jewish boys and girls becoming Jewish men and women, it’s Jewish kids of all gender identities becoming Jewish adults,” said Maris. “Having a tool that helps guide everyone through that process, with gender-expansive language and rituals that include folks beyond the binary, is very needed.”
Keshet recently updated the resources. “Adjusting practices to make them more inclusive is what has always been done in Jewish tradition,” said Maris. “Even ancient practices and rituals have evolved over time, and because they are human constructed, we continue to humanly evolve them.”
However, a number of communities still mainly offer gendered ceremonies. Orthodox synagogues and others that are non-egalitarian have not made widespread shifts towards gender-neutral ceremonies.
Despite the strict gender separation in Orthodoxy, there is also a growing push for inclusion of LGBTQ+ individuals in these spaces. Organizations like Eshel, a nonprofit based in the United States and Canada, work to provide LGBTQ+ Orthodox jews and their families with resources for living and thriving in Orthodox Jewish spaces. Other organizations are targeted specifically at teens, such as Jewish Queer Youth, which engages queer youth from Orthodox, Hasidic and traditionalist Sephardi/Mizrahi communities.
“LGBTQ youth who live in a community that is accepting of LGBTQ people reported significantly lower rates of attempting suicide than those who do not,” reports The Trevor Project. For both Brave and Marx, their communities, families and friends were largely supportive of their decision to have non-gendered ceremonies. “It definitely felt like the community showed me a lot of love to be able to do that,” Marx said. “I was really able to be myself.”
By expanding inclusion, Jewish institutions are expanding their reach and impact, as well as creating more engaging communities. “I don’t think that God creates in vain. And so, while there’s a lot of people that are still learning, including myself, about issues relating to gender and identity, our role as a sacred space and a Jewish community is to have an open tent where folks can enter in any doorway they want, because there are no doors,” said Rabbi Greene of Har Hashem.
Brave said that their ceremony made them feel fully included in their synagogue. “It felt good to officially be a part of a community that I can’t really get taken away from,” they said.
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The post ‘I wanted to be more me’: Teens propel a trend toward gender-neutral mitzvah ceremonies appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
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Israel Helps Somaliland Tackle Water Crisis, Welcomes First Ambassador After Recognition
Israel’s special envoy for water issues, Ambassador Rony Yedidia Clein, center, stands with Somaliland’s director-general at the Ministry of Water Development, Aden Abdela Abdule, second from the right, and other officials at a waste treatment facility in Israel, Feb. 25, 2025. Photo: Screenshot
Israel has initiated a multi-prong approach to aid Somaliland in overcoming a series of droughts which have plagued the Horn of Africa region for years, lending its support in water management and other areas as the two sides formally establish diplomatic relations.
On Monday, the first official delegation from Somaliland — 25 water sector workers — arrived in Israel following Jerusalem’s decision in December to become the first country to officially recognize the Republic of Somaliland as an independent and sovereign state
Israel’s agency for international development cooperation, MASHAV, is spearheading the collaboration effort.
“Honored to welcome this morning the participants of the 1st [MASHAV] tailor-made course for Somaliland’s National Water Authority (SNWA) ‘National Water Resources Planning and Management,’ building capabilities and bilateral cooperation,” the Israeli agency’s head, Eynat Shlein, posted on social media.
Israel’s envoy for water issues, Ambassador Rony Yedidia Clein, and the Somaliland visitors toured the National Center for Water Education and Innovation at the Shafdan wastewater treatment complex in Rishon LeZion.
Despite being largely arid and having limited natural freshwater supply, Israel has emerged as a global leader in water management, recycling nearly 90 percent of its wastewater, primarily for agricultural irrigation.
Aden Abdela Abdule, who serves as director general of Somaliland’s Ministry of Water Development, met with Eden Bar Tal, director general of Israel’s Foreign Ministry. According to Shlein, the two officials “stressed the importance of the bilateral relations and the joint partnership. During the meeting and a separate discussion with the MASHAV team, we discussed the vast potential to cooperation between the two states.”
The situation has become dire for Somaliland’s farmers struggling with thirsty crops.
“We are desperate,” Faysal Omar Salah, who operates a family farm near the village of Lallays, told AFP, describing how his children survive on milk from his cattle. “If the rain crisis continues, we will just leave this land and go to a town. We hope Israel will help us cultivate our dry land.”
Israeli experts will reportedly visit Somaliland soon to aid in installing technology to counter a variety of water challenges which have hit the African country’s 6.2 million inhabitants. Over the last five years, the rainy seasons in the region have arrived late and diminished, causing shortages, regular droughts, and a need to rely on groundwater. In addition, Somaliland has seen water losses in its city regions and lacks major monitoring technology.
“Inshallah, Israel is going to help us changing our practices. Because if you want to change practices, you need to have knowledge,” Agriculture Ministry official Mokhtar Dahir Ahmed told AFP.
Meanwhile, Israel and Somaliland have moved to formalize their diplomatic relations.
On Wednesday, Israel’s Foreign Ministry announced it had formally welcomed Dr. Mohamed Haji, recognizing him as the fully accredited Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary of the Republic of Somaliland to Israel. Israel will reciprocate by naming its ambassador to Somaliland in the coming weeks.
Somaliland’s President Abdirahman Mohamed Abdillahi is scheduled to make his first official visit to Israel at the end of March, the Jerusalem Post reported, citing sources familiar with the matter. He had previously visited in December for discreet negotiations that led to the partnership with the Jewish state.
According to experts, the growing Israel-Somaliland partnership could be a “game changer” for Israel, boosting the Jewish state’s ability to counter the Yemen-based Houthi terrorist group while offering strategic and geographic advantages amid shifting regional power dynamics.
Unlike most other states in the region, Somaliland has relative security, regular elections, and a degree of political stability — qualities that make it a valuable partner for international allies and a key player in regional cooperation.
Somaliland, which has claimed independence for decades in East Africa but remains largely unrecognized, is situated on the southern coast of the Gulf of Aden and bordered by Djibouti to the northwest, Ethiopia to the south and west, and Somalia to the south and east. It has sought to break off from Somalia since 1991 and utilized its own passports, currency, military, and law enforcement. The region remains distinct from the rest of Somalia due to the dominance of the Isaaq clan.
However, several Arab, Islamic, and African countries, including regional powers, publicly rejected the move, as did other states such as China.
Somalia’s President Hassan Sheikh Mohamud warned Israel at the Al Jazeera Forum in Doha on Feb. 7 against establishing a military base in Somaliland.
“We will confront any Israeli forces that enter, because we oppose this and will never allow it,” he said.
That same day, the Somali president blasted Israel’s decision to recognize Somaliland in an interview with Iran’s PressTV propaganda network. Mohamud labeled Israel’s recognition as “reckless, fundamentally wrong, and illegal action under international law.”
The European Union also opposed the decision, saying it “reaffirms the importance of respecting the unity, the sovereignty, and the territorial integrity” of Somalia.
US President Donald Trump has said he opposes recognition of Somaliland, but his administration defended Israel’s decision, saying Jerusalem “has the same right to conduct diplomatic relations as any other sovereign state.”
Somaliland’s minister of the presidency, Khadar Hussein Abdi, told AFP on Saturday that the government is prepared to offer mineral rights and military infrastructure in exchange for recognition from the United States. The region includes significant lithium deposits, putting it in potential competition with China which currently dominates the market, controlling roughly 65-70 percent of the world’s lithium refining capacities and 60 percent of rare earthing mining.
“Situated along the Gulf of Aden near the Bab el-Mandeb Strait – a chokepoint linking the Red Sea to the Suez Canal and carrying roughly 10 percent of global seaborne trade – the territory [Somaliland] offers not only resource potential but strategic logistics leverage,” Anne-Laure Klein, managing director in the portfolio operations group for Rothschild and Company, wrote on Thursday in Energy Capital & Power, a publication which encourages energy investments in Africa.
“For Washington, combining mineral access with positioning along a key maritime corridor could strengthen both supply chain security and transatlantic export routes at a time of intensifying geopolitical competition,” she added. “The question now is whether diplomatic recognition will follow – and if strategic geography and untapped minerals together are enough to tip the balance.”
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Young Republicans Flock to Anti-Israel Candidate in Florida Governor’s Race
Florida gubernatorial candidate James Fishback. Photo: Screenshot
A radically anti-Israel candidate in Florida’s Republican primary for governor is by far the most popular choice for young voters, despite being accused of antisemitism, a new poll has found.
The University of North Florida poll, released on Tuesday, showed 31-year-old James Fishback, the founder and chief executive of the investment firm Azoria, leading comfortably among Republican voters aged 18–34.
While Fishback remains a long-shot contender overall, the results found he captured 32 percent support among younger Republicans surveyed, compared to just 8 percent for US Rep. Byron Donalds, who continues to lead the broader primary field. Another 46 percent said they were not sure.
Overall, Donalds leads the field with 31 percent support, followed by Fishback far behind at 6 percent. More than half of those polled, 51 percent, said they were not sure who to support.
Fishback has drawn criticism for relentlessly attacking Israel and, according to some critics, veering into antisemitic discourse.
While addressing students at the University of Central Florida earlier this month, Fishback said he “will not visit the country of Israel under any circumstances.” The candidate went on to mock the Western Wall, calling it a “stupid wall.”
“This is how antisemitism rebrands itself in 2026,” Rabbi Steven Burg, the CEO of Aish, a global Jewish educational organization, wrote of Fishback’s comments in a recent op-ed for the Sun Sentinel.
Fishback has also criticized Donalds for arranging a forum at a south Florida synagogue, accusing the congressman of expressing favoritism toward Jewish people. The insurgent candidate also came under fire for praising supporters of antisemitic social media personality Nick Fuentes as “patriots” and “civil.”
“We had a great conversation, and they have a real pulse for what is going on in the country,” Fishback said of Fuentes’s supporters.
In December, the Network Contagion Research Institute (NCRI) released a report analyzing online support for Fuentes, suggesting he has received a major boost from inauthentic amplification by anonymous actors in foreign countries such as India, Pakistan, Nigeria, Malaysia, and Indonesia.
If elected, Fishback has vowed to direct all state government entities to “divest” from bonds issued by the Israeli government on his first day in office. He has also accused Israel of committing “genocide” in Gaza and stated that the supposed “genocide” should be taught in Florida public schools.
Donalds, a stalwart conservative and strident ally of US President Donald Trump, has established himself as a firm supporter of Israel. The lawmaker expressed support for Israel’s right to self-defense in the wake of Hamas’s Oct. 7, 2023, massacre across southern Israel. As skepticism about Israel has surged within the Republican Party in recent months, Donalds has maintained strong vocal support for the Jewish state.
During an interview with Fox Business in December, Donalds lamented rising antisemitism and anti-Israel sentiment within the country and around the world.
“This level of antisemitism, this hatred against Jewish people and against Israel, it’s out of control. It’s insane,” Donalds said.
The latest University of North Florida poll, conducted among likely Republican voters in Florida, included a small sample of 39 respondents in the 18–34 age bracket. Though limited in scope, the findings reflect a broader trend seen in some national surveys, indicating a generational shift among parts of the Republican Party, with younger voters expressing more skepticism toward both Israel and American Jews than their older counterparts.
For example, the Manhattan Institute, a prominent US-based think tank, released a major poll in December examining the evolving makeup of the Republican Party (GOP) and its current attitudes toward Israel and Jewish Americans.
According to the results, newer entrants to the GOP are more likely to be antisemitic
“Anti-Jewish Republicans are typically younger, disproportionately male, more likely to be college-educated, and significantly more likely to be New Entrant Republicans,” the survey found. “They are also more racially diverse. Consistent church attendance is one of the strongest predictors of rejecting these attitudes; infrequent church attendance is, all else equal, one of the strongest predictors of falling into this segment.”
This group is also in general more politically liberal, according to the survey: “Given that many of these voters are younger and former Democrats, more progressive policy tendencies are unsurprising.”
The data also showed that older GOP voters are much more supportive of Israel and less likely to express antisemitic views than their younger cohorts.
According to the data, 25 percent of GOP voters under 50 openly express antisemitic views as opposed to just 4 percent over the age of 50.
Startlingly, a substantial amount, 37 percent, of GOP voters indicate belief in Holocaust denialism. These figures are more pronounced among young men under 50, with a majority, 54 percent, agreeing that the Holocaust “was greatly exaggerated or did not happen as historians describe.” Among men over 50, 41 percent agree with the sentiment.
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Fetterman Hosts AIPAC, Bondi Survivor in DC Office, Voices Support for ‘Jewish Community and Our Special Ally’
US Sen. John Fetterman (D-PA) gives an interview in his office in the Russell Senate Office Building in Washington, DC, Jan. 18, 2024. Photo: Rod Lamkey / CNP/Sipa USA for NY Post via Reuters Connect
US Sen. John Fetterman (D-PA) welcomed representatives from the American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC) and a survivor of the Bondi Beach massacre to his Washington, DC office on Tuesday, expressing support for the “global Jewish community” and the longstanding strategic partnership between the US and Israel.
“Proudly welcomed AIPAC and a survivor of the Bondi Beach massacre — a living reminder of the global scourge of antisemitism. My voice and vote will always stand with and support the global Jewish community and our special ally,” Fetterman posted on the social media platform X.
Proudly welcomed @AIPAC and a survivor of the Bondi Beach massacre—a living reminder of the global scourge of antisemitism.
My voice and vote will always stand with and support the global Jewish community and our special ally. pic.twitter.com/mz5damSvV9
— U.S. Senator John Fetterman (@SenFettermanPA) February 24, 2026
Fetterman, who has emerged as a prominent pro-Israel voice among Democrats on Capitol Hill, has signaled unwavering support for the Jewish state as its standing among liberal voters and progressive lawmakers has cratered.
The Pennsylvania lawmaker has repeatedly affirmed Israel’s right to defend itself from the Hamas terrorist group in Gaza and has defended the Jewish state from unsubstantiated claims of “genocide.” He also displayed the photos of the hostages captured by Hamas-led terrorists during their Oct. 7, 2023, massacre across southern Israel in his office, drawing praise from pro-Israel Americans.
Despite his party’s increasing opposition to US military support for Israel, Fetterman has repeatedly vowed to vote in favor of such support for the Jewish state, rankling the progressive wing of the Democratic Party.
“I’m a really strong, unapologetic supporter of Israel and it’s really not going to change for me when [Donald] Trump becomes [president]. My vote and voice is going to follow Israel,” Fetterman said during an interview in December 2024.
One year later, Fetterman lamented the deadly attack on a Hanukkah celebration at Sydney’s Bondi Beach in December that killed 15 people who attended the Jewish gathering and wounded at least 40 others, expressing alarm about the global rise in antisemitism.
“After years of anti-Israel protests in Australia, at least 11 Jews were just gunned down at a Hanukkah event. Tree of Life to 10/07 to Bondi Beach: antisemitism is a rising and deadly global scourge. I stand and grieve with Israel and the Jewish global community,” he posted shortly after the shooting, using a figure based on an early death toll.
Though American lawmakers from both major political parties roundly condemned the Bondi Beach massacre, Fetterman’s decision this week to publicly meet with AIPAC, the premier pro-Israel lobbying group in the US, will likely raise eyebrows among his liberal supporters.
In the two years following the breakout of the Israel-Hamas war, AIPAC’s standing among the Democratic party has plummeted dramatically. In primary races across the country, Democratic hopefuls are being pressed on their connections to AIPAC and facing demands to pledge not to accept funding from the group, which seeks to foster bipartisan support for the US-Israel relationship. The emergence of AIPAC support as a kind of litmus test has raised concerns among Jewish Democrats that the party is becoming increasingly inhospitable to Jews and Zionists.
According to polls, Fetterman is unpopular among Democratic primary voters, making him vulnerable in a primary competition. Numerous progressives in the Keystone State have signaled they are gearing up to challenge Fetterman for the party nomination in 2028.
However, Fetterman maintains shockingly high approval ratings among Republicans and strong approval ratings among independents, potentially injecting a significant degree of uncertainty into the Pennsylvania Senate race if he were to run as an independent in the general election.