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‘I wanted to be more me’: Teens propel a trend toward gender-neutral mitzvah ceremonies
This article was produced as part of JTA’s Teen Journalism Fellowship, a program that works with Jewish teens around the world to report on issues that affect their lives.
(JTA) — Like many Jewish teens, Ash Brave was nervous for their b’nai mitzvah. Memorizing the Torah portion, sending invitations, planning a party: It’s a lot for a 13-year-old to think about during what can already be an anxiety-filled age.
Despite the typical stress involved with preparing to enter the adult Jewish community, Brave cheerfully described their gender-neutral b’nai mitzvah last summer, recalling feeling “really supported [by] the whole synagogue.” For teens like Brave, an eighth grader from Boulder, Colorado who uses he and they pronouns interchangeably, gender-inclusive b’nai mitzvahs (often termed “b’mitzvahs”) offer an opportunity to come of age as their full selves.
Across the country, there is an expanding list of Jewish community centers, day schools, Hillels, organizations and more that include and celebrate LGBTQ+ identities. Many synagogues are following suit with the ceremonies they offer and the language they use. Some congregations are initiating these changes on their own; in other cases, the teens themselves are propelling the shifts.
Traditionally, most synagogues hold gendered b’nai mitzvah, with bar mitzvahs for boys and bat mitzvahs for girls (“b’nai” is the Hebrew plural form meanings “sons and daughters,” although it is technically masculine). Increasingly, many Jewish congregations are moving towards gender-inclusive b’nai mitzvah ceremonies. Synagogues like Har Hashem, a Reform synagogue in Boulder, have been offering these ceremonies for years at the request of their congregants. Because of these shifts, many gender nonconforming Jewish teens feel a deeper sense of belonging in their religious communities.
According to Rabbi Fred Greene of Har Hashem, the synagogue holds approximately 25 b’nai mitzvah ceremonies annually. In the last year, three of those were gender-neutral. Although the congregation has offered the option for almost five years, this is the first year they have had teens opting for the inclusive version. Greene said that the congregation also has teens who have transitioned after their b’nai mitzvah. He estimates that they have 5-7 teen congregants who identify as trans or genderqueer, meaning they do not identify with the gender they were assigned at birth.
B’mitzvahs at Har Hashem mirror the traditional gendered ceremonies in everything but language. “We have folks that don’t feel like a ‘ben’ or a ‘bat,’” said Greene, using the Hebrew words meaning “son” and “daughter.” “So we come up with other Hebrew terms, [such as] ‘beit,’ which is from “the house of [parent name].” He said that a number of changes can be made to the Hebrew to increase inclusivity, ranging from the creation of new terms to using the infinitive version of words that would otherwise be gendered. “We’re not treating anybody any differently, other than being sensitive to their needs,” he said.
Ruby Marx, a 16-year-old who uses she/her pronouns, had a gender-neutral b’mitzvah with Temple Beth Zion in the Boston area in early 2020, pre-pandemic. “I always knew that I was gonna have to have [a b’nai mitzvah]. But when it came time to start thinking about it, I was like, ‘I really don’t feel comfortable having a bat mitzvah.’ But I wasn’t comfortable [having a bar mitzvah], either. So someone suggested that I do something in the middle. And that felt right for me.”
Marx, who describes herself as gender-fluid, was the first teen in her congregation to have a ceremony that didn’t fall within either the bar or bat categories. In the years following, several other teens in her community have had gender-neutral ceremonies, including one having an upcoming ceremony in mid-March.
“I don’t think anyone else had done something like that before,” said Marx. “I think a lot of other kids started to feel comfortable being like, ‘oh, maybe that’s something I would want to do,’ or incorporating different things that they’re passionate about [into their ceremonies].”
For her ceremony, she wore a prayer shawl featuring rainbow trimming and various rock n’ roll patches from her favorite bands. Marx said that the most rewarding part of her experience has been being a trailblazer for inclusion in her congregation. “It definitely feels good to know that I can help other kids feel comfortable being who they are, because I know that sometimes I’m not always comfortable being who I am. It’s nice to know that kids can look up to me,” she said.
Gender inclusion in b’nai mitzvahs has been expanding for decades, beginning with the American introduction of the bat mitzvah in 1922 for the daughter of Rabbi Mordecai Kaplan, the founder of Reconstructionism, in New York City. Before that, only boys were allowed to engage in the important coming of age tradition. After Judith Kaplan’s ceremony, the custom slowly spread across the country in non-Orthodox synagogues. For decades, however, the ceremonies for girls differed from those offered to boys: In many synagogues, girls were not allowed to read from the Torah, and their services were held on Friday nights rather than Saturday mornings. Orthodox synagogues were slow in accepting the bat mitzvah, and still maintain strict gender roles in synagogue.
Ruby Marx playing the guitar during a benefit concert they held for their mitzvah project. (Courtesy Pamela Joy Photography).
As feminism progressed both outside and within Jewish communities, girls pushed to be allowed to read from the Torah and to be counted towards a minyan, the 10-person quorum required for public prayer. Full bat mitzvahs became an accepted norm. A similar pattern is now occurring for b’mitzvahs.
As a coming of age ritual, b’nai mitzvahs occupy a unique role in Jewish life. Their goal is to integrate young Jews into the broader community, signaling that they have the knowledge and maturity to take on adult ritual responsibilities. Because of this, many young trans Jews wish to have a ceremony that will fully reflect them as they become more involved in their community and beyond.
Brave, the Colorado teen, chose to have their ceremony gender-neutral to ensure it still fit them down the road. “I don’t really know what I’m going to identify as in the future, because identity is fluid. And while I may be comfortable right now with being closer to a male identity, [later] I might be less comfortable with that,” they said.
Marx, the gender fluid teen outside of Boston, said entering the community as her authentic self was an integral part of her choice. “I had grown up watching all my cousins, and then my sister, have [ceremonies]. Afterwards, they were a lot more independent in their Jewish identity. That was something that appealed to me, because I wanted to be connected to the Jewish community, but I wanted to do it in my own way,” said Marx.
B’mitzvahs aren’t the only gender-inclusive ceremony offered now. Many Reform congregations have also created ceremonies for gender transitions, Hebrew name changes, and coming out, often based on a curriculum offered by the Central Conference of American Rabbis. “These are holy moments of growth and transformation, and we want to be supportive in their journeys,” Rabbi Greene of Har Hashem said. Brave also had a ceremony with Har Hashem to change their Hebrew name, and the synagogue made them an updated yad — a pointer used in reading Torah — to match.
Teens who were not able to do their ceremony gender-neutral say having access to inclusive ceremonies would have increased the enjoyment and meaning of their b’nai mitzvahs. “I would have felt more like I was stepping into my own skin, instead of the skin [of someone] that I was pretending to be,” said Mica Newmark. The 17-year-old, who uses they/them pronouns, had a gendered ceremony at Nevei Kodesh, a Renewal synagogue in Boulder, before coming into their identity more. Since their ceremony, Newmark has grown apart from religion. “I don’t really relate anymore,” they said.
Even teens who were more clear on their identity struggled with having gendered ceremonies. Jay, a 15-year-old from Boulder, came out immediately following their ceremony. (Jay, estranged from a parent who has a leadership role in their synagogue, asked that their last name be omitted.) They found the ceremony “pretty stressful” and their coming out experience difficult, explaining that they wanted everyone to understand the concept of existing outside of the gender binary, but didn’t feel that was possible at the time. “I had really long hair then, so I wanted to cut it, and just be more me,” Jay said. “But I was really stressed, because I knew I was going to get misgendered at the ceremony.”
Keshet publishes a guide to “design and support affirming b’mitzvah celebrations.” (Keshet)
In the following years, Jay helped to institute the use of pronoun pins at synagogue events, as well as generally making an effort to educate community members on transgender issues. “I think [gender-neutral ceremonies] allow queer Jewish people to embrace their religion and continue to flourish within Judaism without feeling gendered,” they said.
Keshet, a national Jewish LGBTQ+ organization, published a guide for b’mitzvah ceremonies. “Celebrating the Age of Mitzvah: A Guide for all Genders” includes information from what to call the ceremony to what the dress code should be, all aimed at helping communities create inclusive and meaningful traditions.
The need for the resources came from synagogues and young congregants, said Jackie Maris, the Chicago education and training manager for the organization. “It’s not just Jewish boys and girls becoming Jewish men and women, it’s Jewish kids of all gender identities becoming Jewish adults,” said Maris. “Having a tool that helps guide everyone through that process, with gender-expansive language and rituals that include folks beyond the binary, is very needed.”
Keshet recently updated the resources. “Adjusting practices to make them more inclusive is what has always been done in Jewish tradition,” said Maris. “Even ancient practices and rituals have evolved over time, and because they are human constructed, we continue to humanly evolve them.”
However, a number of communities still mainly offer gendered ceremonies. Orthodox synagogues and others that are non-egalitarian have not made widespread shifts towards gender-neutral ceremonies.
Despite the strict gender separation in Orthodoxy, there is also a growing push for inclusion of LGBTQ+ individuals in these spaces. Organizations like Eshel, a nonprofit based in the United States and Canada, work to provide LGBTQ+ Orthodox jews and their families with resources for living and thriving in Orthodox Jewish spaces. Other organizations are targeted specifically at teens, such as Jewish Queer Youth, which engages queer youth from Orthodox, Hasidic and traditionalist Sephardi/Mizrahi communities.
“LGBTQ youth who live in a community that is accepting of LGBTQ people reported significantly lower rates of attempting suicide than those who do not,” reports The Trevor Project. For both Brave and Marx, their communities, families and friends were largely supportive of their decision to have non-gendered ceremonies. “It definitely felt like the community showed me a lot of love to be able to do that,” Marx said. “I was really able to be myself.”
By expanding inclusion, Jewish institutions are expanding their reach and impact, as well as creating more engaging communities. “I don’t think that God creates in vain. And so, while there’s a lot of people that are still learning, including myself, about issues relating to gender and identity, our role as a sacred space and a Jewish community is to have an open tent where folks can enter in any doorway they want, because there are no doors,” said Rabbi Greene of Har Hashem.
Brave said that their ceremony made them feel fully included in their synagogue. “It felt good to officially be a part of a community that I can’t really get taken away from,” they said.
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The post ‘I wanted to be more me’: Teens propel a trend toward gender-neutral mitzvah ceremonies appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
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Board of Peace Publishes Roadmap for Gaza Peace Plan
Palestinians walk among piles of rubble and damaged buildings in Khan Younis in the southern Gaza Strip, Nov. 24, 2025. Photo: REUTERS/Ramadan Abed
The US-led Board of Peace has unveiled an ambitious roadmap aimed at bringing the Gaza war to an end, dismantling Hamas’s military capabilities, and replacing its rule with a new governance structure backed by international oversight and Palestinian technocrats.
The plan, presented by the Board of Peace’s director-general and high representative for Gaza, Nickolay Mladenov, marks the most comprehensive effort yet to convert a fragile ceasefire into a durable post-war agreement, one that requires Hamas’s disarmament as a necessary component for any political or economic future for the enclave.
Calling Hamas’s refusal to lay down its arms and relinquish control the “principal obstacle” to implementation, Mladenov told the UN Security Council in New York on Thursday that “reconstruction financing [for Gaza] will not follow where weapons have not been laid down. No investment, no movement, no horizon.”
US President Donald Trump set up the Board of Peace to oversee his plan to end the Israel-Hamas war in Gaza, a conflict started by the Palestinian terrorist group’s Oct. 7, 2023, invasion of and massacre across the Jewish state. The UN has recognized the board, although several countries opted not to join despite being invited to do so.
After Israel and Hamas agreed to a ceasefire in October, Israeli forces partially withdrew and now control at least 53 percent of Gazan territory, with Hamas ruling the rest of the Palestinian enclave and the vast majority of its residents. Talks to further the peace plan have stalled since then, with Hamas tightening its control over its part of Gaza, largely through a brutal crackdown, and working to rebuild its military capabilities.
“The risk is that the deteriorating status quo becomes permanent – a divided Gaza, Hamas holding military and administrative control over 2 million people across less than half the territory,” Mladenov told the Security Council.
His proposal calls for a strict sequencing of steps that conditions reconstruction and political transition on Hamas giving up its weapons and military infrastructure.
According to Mladenov’s presentation and supporters of the plan, rebuilding efforts cannot credibly proceed while an armed terrorist organization retaining control over territory, borders, and civilian life. Earlier this month, for example, Hamas members blocked international efforts to begin reconstruction work in Rafah, a city in southern Gaza, threatening contractors who were set to enter an area under Israeli control in coordination with Israeli and American forces to begin reconstruction work funded by the United Arab Emirates (UAE).
Mladenov contended that efforts to rebuild the infrastructure of Gaza will commence when “commitments to stop internal killings, prohibit reprisals, ban armed demonstrations, and end displays of armed force.”
“The faster implementation progresses, the faster Gaza can begin rebuilding homes, schools, hospitals, infrastructure, and economic life at scale,” he said.
Under the roadmap, Hamas would be required to surrender its heavy weapons, dismantle its tunnel networks, and withdraw from any governing role in Gaza. Security responsibilities would gradually shift toward vetted local Palestinian forces supported by international partners, in what is designed as a phased transition rather than an immediate power vacuum. Israeli officials and supporters of the framework have emphasized that this sequencing is essential to prevent a repeat of past cycles in which reconstruction and governance reforms were ultimately overtaken by renewed militarization.
The governance model outlined by the Board of Peace envisions Gaza being administered through a hybrid structure combining a Palestinian technocratic committee responsible for day-to-day civil affairs with an international supervisory body tasked with overseeing reconstruction funding, security benchmarks, and implementation of the broader transition plan. The aim, according to officials involved in the effort, is to bypass Hamas entirely while also avoiding a return to full Israeli administrative control, instead placing long-term coordination under an internationally backed framework.
Reconstruction itself would be tightly tied to compliance with security conditions, meaning that large-scale rebuilding of housing, infrastructure, and utilities would only accelerate once demilitarization milestones are met. The board has also been pressing donor countries to follow through on approximately $17 billion in pledged reconstruction funding, warning that only a small portion of those commitments has been disbursed so far, leaving early recovery efforts stalled despite widespread international promises.
That funding gap has emerged as one of the central obstacles to implementation. While donor states signaled major financial support during earlier conferences, officials say the lack of actual disbursement has left the plan underpowered at a critical moment, effectively freezing reconstruction on paper while humanitarian needs continue to persist on the ground.
Hamas, for its part, has rejected the framework’s core premise, insisting that disarmament cannot be separated from a full Israeli withdrawal and broader political guarantees. The group has accused international mediators of advancing a process that ignores what it describes as unresolved core issues of sovereignty and ceasefire enforcement, deepening the diplomatic deadlock that has defined previous attempts to stabilize Gaza.
Israel has said it will not withdraw its forces any further until Hamas, which openly seeks the Jewish state’s destruction, disarms.
Despite the ceasefire framework that underpins the Board of Peace initiative, the situation on the ground remains fragile, with sporadic violence, unresolved security disputes, and widespread displacement continuing to strain civilian life. Humanitarian conditions remain severe, and reconstruction has yet to meaningfully begin at scale, reinforcing the sense that the political framework and the realities in Gaza are still far apart.
In statements to the UN Security Council, Mladenov warned that intermittent violence in Gaza risks “unraveling” the unstable ceasefire.
“There is no third option,” he stressed. “There never was, and the people of Gaza should not be made to wait while some pretend there is.”
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Giuliani Says Mamdani Has ‘Hatred’ for Jews for Declining to Attend Israel Day Parade in New York City
Former Donald Trump lawyer and former New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani arrives at US federal court in New York City, US, Nov. 26, 2024. Photo: REUTERS/Brendan McDermid
Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani has lambasted the city’s current mayor, Zohran Mamdani, for the latter’s decision not to attend the annual Israel Day parade, which is set to take place later this month.
“Mamdani’s decision to snub the Israel Day Parade demonstrates his deep disdain and hatred of the Jewish community,” Giuliani, a Republican, told the New York Post on Wednesday. “When you combine this with his failure to attend the investiture of the new Catholic Archbishop [Ronald Hicks], a pattern emerges, revealing a man on a mission to tear down the foundations of Western civilization.”
Mamdani, a far-left democratic socialist, has made fierce anti-Israel activism a cornerstone of his political career, leading many Jewish leaders and other critics to accuse him of antisemitism.
“Have New Yorkers awakened to the fact that they made a disastrous decision in November 2025 by electing this man?” added Giuliani, who served as New York City’s mayor from 1994 through 2001.
Mamdani confirmed earlier this month that he will skip this year’s Israel Day Parade. However, the avowed anti-Zionist first indicated that he would not attend the event in October 2025, the month before his election. At the time, he told the Jewish Telegraphic Agency that he looked forward “to joining — and hosting — many community events celebrating Jewish life in New York and the rich Jewish history and culture of our city,” but not including the parade.
“While I will not be attending the Israel Day Parade, my lack of attendance should not be mistaken for a refusal to provide security or the necessary permits for its safety,” Mamdani said last year. “I’ve been very clear: I believe in equal rights for all people — everywhere. That principle guides me consistently.”
Mamdani is reportedly the first mayor of New York City to skip the Israel Day Parade, which has been held annually since 1964. The parade takes place along Manhattan’s Fifth Avenue and is set this year for May 31 under the theme, “Proud Americans, Proud Zionists.”
For what is believed to be the first time in history, a Muslim group will march in the parade. Supporters of the nonprofit American Muslim & Multifaith Women’s Empowerment Council will participate and be led by Anila Ali, the organization’s board chair and president.
As a supporter of the boycott, divestment, and sanctions (BDS) movement against Israel, Mamdani has been highly critical of the country and has refused to recognize it as a Jewish state. New York City is home to the world’s largest population of Jews outside of Israel.
“Since the very first Israel Parade in 1964, every single sitting mayor of New York City has joined in the festive celebrations. New York has historically been proud of its deep relationship with Israel. Not joining the parade is an affront to the history of New York City,” Moshe Davis – former executive director of the Mayor’s Office to Combat Antisemitism, a body formed by Mamdani’s predecessor, Mayor Eric Adams – told Fox News Digital.
Adams told the news outlet that the Israel Day Parade “is a testament to one of New York City’s most important relationships.”
“From health care to technology to innovation, Israel and New York City are partners in building a better future,” he explained. “I want every New Yorker to join the Parade on Fifth Avenue because celebrating this bond isn’t just for the Jewish community; it’s for our entire city.”
Last week, Mamdani posted a video on social media in honor of “Nakba Day.” The word “nakba” is Arabic for “catastrophe” and used by Palestinians to describe Israel’s founding and the displacement of hundreds of thousands of Arabs during Israel’s 1948 War of Independence.
Many Arabs left for varied reasons, including that they were encouraged by Arab leaders to flee their homes to make way for the invading armies to destroy the nascent Jewish state. At the same time, about 850,000 Jews were forced to flee or expelled from Middle Eastern and North African countries in the 20th century, primarily in the aftermath of Israel’s declaring independence.
Several pro-Israel Jewish groups found the video posted by Mamdani offensive, and as a result, some Jewish leaders decided not to attend a pre-Shavuot event Mamdani hosted at Gracie Mansion in honor of Jewish Heritage Month.
The UJA Federation of New York and the Jewish Community Relations Council of New York, both of which are organizing the Israel Day Parade, declined to attend the gathering. They told the New York Post they made the decision because the event’s host is a mayor who “denies the core pillar of our heritage, the State of Israel as the homeland of the Jewish people.” At the event, Mamdani announced that his administration will allocate $26 million annually to expand efforts made by the city’s Office for the Prevention of Hate Crimes.
Since Mamdani assumed office, Jews have been targeted in the majority of all hate crimes committed in New York City, continuing a troubling trend of rising antisemitism following Hamas’s Oct. 7, 2023, massacre across southern Israel.
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Vermont Police Investigate Anti-Israel Vandalism of Jewish-Owned Store as Possible Hate Crime
Graffiti is seen on the windows of DG Bodyworks in Cavendish on Wednesday, May 20, 2026. The Vermont State Police has partially redacted profanity that appears on the window to the right. Photo: Vermont State Police
A Jewish woman’s store in Vermont was vandalized early Wednesday morning with anti-Israel graffiti in an incident that police are investigating as a possible hate crime.
“Free Palestine” and “F–k Israel” were spray-painted on the windows of DG Bodyworks, where Israeli flags were on display.
Vermont State Police said they are investigating the vandalism in the Windsor County town of Cavendish as a possible hate crime and will inform the Attorney General’s Office of the incident. Officers who responded to the crime scene reviewed security footage and saw an individual vandalizing the store with purple spray paint during the early hours of Wednesday morning. Police released a photo of the suspect, a white male who wore a cap and covered his face while spray-painting the messages.
Shop owner Denise Gebroe said that her store was targeted because she is Jewish and that while she was “shaken” to discover the graffiti, “I am OK and will not be broken.”
“This was an act of intimidation directed at me because I am Jewish,” she added, in a statement shared with The Algemeiner by Vermont Friends of Israel. “I made Vermont my home because I love it here, but it does not feel the same as it once did. Incidents like this are happening more than many people realize, and most go unreported. I fear for the future of the Jewish community here, and Jewish friends of mine have already left.”
In a statement given to The Algemeiner, Mark Treinkman, president of Vermont Friends of Israel, also called the vandalism an anti-Jewish hate crime and said such an incident “is the predictable consequence of a political campaign in Vermont that demonizes Israel and pressures local communities to treat Jews and Zionists as equivalent to Nazis.” He referenced an Apartheid Free Community campaign active in Vermont, promoted by the Palestine Solidarity Coalition, that is marketed locally as “grassroots activism.”
“When anti-Zionist activists tell people that Jews with deep spiritual, cultural, and familial ties to Israel are ‘baby killers’ and ‘genocide supporters,’ it sends a dangerous signal that intimidation against them is understandable, deserved, or even justified,” Treinkman noted. “History teaches us where this goes. First come campaigns of dehumanization, slogans, pledges, and public shaming. Now a Jewish woman’s storefront has been vandalized in rural Vermont.”
“Synagogues in Vermont have been sent death threats. Swastikas are found on Vermont school walls,” he added, referring to threatening letters sent to several local synagogues and antisemitism graffiti discovered at an elementary school last year. “Jewish students are bullied. What comes next if this is not confronted?”