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‘I wanted to be more me’: Teens propel a trend toward gender-neutral mitzvah ceremonies

This article was produced as part of JTA’s Teen Journalism Fellowship, a program that works with Jewish teens around the world to report on issues that affect their lives.

(JTA) — Like many Jewish teens, Ash Brave was nervous for their b’nai mitzvah. Memorizing the Torah portion, sending invitations, planning a party: It’s a lot for a 13-year-old to think about during what can already be an anxiety-filled age. 

Despite the typical stress involved with preparing to enter the adult Jewish community, Brave cheerfully described their gender-neutral b’nai mitzvah last summer, recalling feeling “really supported [by] the whole synagogue.” For teens like Brave, an eighth grader from Boulder, Colorado who uses he and they pronouns interchangeably, gender-inclusive b’nai mitzvahs (often termed “b’mitzvahs”) offer an opportunity to come of age as their full selves. 

Across the country, there is an expanding list of Jewish community centers, day schools, Hillels, organizations and more that include and celebrate LGBTQ+ identities. Many synagogues are following suit with the ceremonies they offer and the language they use. Some congregations are initiating these changes on their own; in other cases, the teens themselves are propelling the shifts. 

Traditionally, most synagogues hold gendered b’nai mitzvah, with bar mitzvahs for boys and bat mitzvahs for girls (“b’nai” is the Hebrew plural form meanings “sons and daughters,” although it is technically masculine). Increasingly, many Jewish congregations are moving towards gender-inclusive b’nai mitzvah ceremonies. Synagogues like Har Hashem, a Reform synagogue in Boulder, have been offering these ceremonies for years at the request of their congregants. Because of these shifts, many gender nonconforming Jewish teens feel a deeper sense of belonging in their religious communities. 

According to Rabbi Fred Greene of Har Hashem, the synagogue holds approximately 25 b’nai mitzvah ceremonies annually. In the last year, three of those were gender-neutral. Although the congregation has offered the option for almost five years, this is the first year they have had teens opting for the inclusive version. Greene said that the congregation also has teens who have transitioned after their b’nai mitzvah. He estimates that they have 5-7 teen congregants who identify as trans or genderqueer, meaning they do not identify with the gender they were assigned at birth. 

B’mitzvahs at Har Hashem mirror the traditional gendered ceremonies in everything but language. “We have folks that don’t feel like a ‘ben’ or a ‘bat,’” said Greene, using the Hebrew words meaning “son” and “daughter.” “So we come up with other Hebrew terms, [such as] ‘beit,’ which is from “the house of [parent name].” He said that a number of changes can be made to the Hebrew to increase inclusivity, ranging from the creation of new terms to using the infinitive version of words that would otherwise be gendered. “We’re not treating anybody any differently, other than being sensitive to their needs,” he said. 

Ruby Marx, a 16-year-old who uses she/her pronouns, had a gender-neutral b’mitzvah with Temple Beth Zion in the Boston area in early 2020, pre-pandemic. “I always knew that I was gonna have to have [a b’nai mitzvah]. But when it came time to start thinking about it, I was like, ‘I really don’t feel comfortable having a bat mitzvah.’ But I wasn’t comfortable [having a bar mitzvah], either. So someone suggested that I do something in the middle. And that felt right for me.”

Marx, who describes herself as gender-fluid, was the first teen in her congregation to have a ceremony that didn’t fall within either the bar or bat categories. In the years following, several other teens in her community have had gender-neutral ceremonies, including one having an upcoming ceremony in mid-March. 

“I don’t think anyone else had done something like that before,” said Marx. “I think a lot of other kids started to feel comfortable being like, ‘oh, maybe that’s something I would want to do,’ or incorporating different things that they’re passionate about [into their ceremonies].” 

For her ceremony, she wore a prayer shawl featuring rainbow trimming and various rock n’ roll patches from her favorite bands. Marx said that the most rewarding part of her experience has been being a trailblazer for inclusion in her congregation. “It definitely feels good to know that I can help other kids feel comfortable being who they are, because I know that sometimes I’m not always comfortable being who I am. It’s nice to know that kids can look up to me,” she said. 

Gender inclusion in b’nai mitzvahs has been expanding for decades, beginning with the American introduction of the bat mitzvah in 1922 for the daughter of Rabbi Mordecai Kaplan, the founder of Reconstructionism, in New York City. Before that, only boys were allowed to engage in the important coming of age tradition. After Judith Kaplan’s ceremony, the custom slowly spread across the country in non-Orthodox synagogues. For decades, however, the ceremonies for girls differed from those offered to boys: In many synagogues, girls were not allowed to read from the Torah, and their services were held on Friday nights rather than Saturday mornings. Orthodox synagogues were slow in accepting the bat mitzvah, and still maintain strict gender roles in synagogue.

Ruby Marx playing the guitar during a benefit concert they held for their mitzvah project. (Courtesy Pamela Joy Photography).

As feminism progressed both outside and within Jewish communities, girls pushed to be allowed to read from the Torah and to be counted towards a minyan, the 10-person quorum required for public prayer. Full bat mitzvahs became an accepted norm. A similar pattern is now occurring for b’mitzvahs. 

As a coming of age ritual, b’nai mitzvahs occupy a unique role in Jewish life. Their goal is to integrate young Jews into the broader community, signaling that they have the knowledge and maturity to take on adult ritual responsibilities. Because of this, many young trans Jews wish to have a ceremony that will fully reflect them as they become more involved in their community and beyond. 

Brave, the Colorado teen, chose to have their ceremony gender-neutral to ensure it still fit them down the road. “I don’t really know what I’m going to identify as in the future, because identity is fluid. And while I may be comfortable right now with being closer to a male identity, [later] I might be less comfortable with that,” they said. 

Marx, the gender fluid teen outside of Boston, said entering the community as her authentic self was an integral part of her choice. “I had grown up watching all my cousins, and then my sister, have [ceremonies]. Afterwards, they were a lot more independent in their Jewish identity. That was something that appealed to me, because I wanted to be connected to the Jewish community, but I wanted to do it in my own way,” said Marx. 

B’mitzvahs aren’t the only gender-inclusive ceremony offered now. Many Reform congregations have also created ceremonies for gender transitions, Hebrew name changes, and coming out, often based on a curriculum offered by the Central Conference of American Rabbis. “These are holy moments of growth and transformation, and we want to be supportive in their journeys,” Rabbi Greene of Har Hashem said. Brave also had a ceremony with Har Hashem to change their Hebrew name, and the synagogue made them an updated yad — a pointer used in reading Torah — to match.

Teens who were not able to do their ceremony gender-neutral say having access to inclusive ceremonies would have increased the enjoyment and meaning of their b’nai mitzvahs. “I would have felt more like I was stepping into my own skin, instead of the skin [of someone] that I was pretending to be,” said Mica Newmark. The 17-year-old, who uses they/them pronouns, had a gendered ceremony at Nevei Kodesh, a Renewal synagogue in Boulder, before coming into their identity more. Since their ceremony, Newmark has grown apart from religion. “I don’t really relate anymore,” they said. 

Even teens who were more clear on their identity struggled with having gendered ceremonies. Jay, a 15-year-old from Boulder, came out immediately following their ceremony. (Jay, estranged from a parent who has a leadership role in their synagogue, asked that their last name be omitted.) They found the ceremony “pretty stressful” and their coming out experience difficult, explaining that they wanted everyone to understand the concept of existing outside of the gender binary, but didn’t feel that was possible at the time. “I had really long hair then, so I wanted to cut it, and just be more me,” Jay said. “But I was really stressed, because I knew I was going to get misgendered at the ceremony.” 

Keshet publishes a guide to “design and support affirming b’mitzvah celebrations.” (Keshet)

In the following years, Jay helped to institute the use of pronoun pins at synagogue events, as well as generally making an effort to educate community members on transgender issues. “I think [gender-neutral ceremonies] allow queer Jewish people to embrace their religion and continue to flourish within Judaism without feeling gendered,” they said. 

Keshet, a national Jewish LGBTQ+ organization, published a guide for b’mitzvah ceremonies. “Celebrating the Age of Mitzvah: A Guide for all Genders” includes information from what to call the ceremony to what the dress code should be, all aimed at helping communities create inclusive and meaningful traditions. 

The need for the resources came from synagogues and young congregants, said Jackie Maris, the Chicago education and training manager for the organization. “It’s not just Jewish boys and girls becoming Jewish men and women, it’s Jewish kids of all gender identities becoming Jewish adults,” said Maris. “Having a tool that helps guide everyone through that process, with gender-expansive language and rituals that include folks beyond the binary, is very needed.”

Keshet recently updated the resources. “Adjusting practices to make them more inclusive is what has always been done in Jewish tradition,” said Maris. “Even ancient practices and rituals have evolved over time, and because they are human constructed, we continue to humanly evolve them.”

However, a number of communities still mainly offer gendered ceremonies. Orthodox synagogues and others that are non-egalitarian have not made widespread shifts towards gender-neutral ceremonies.

Despite the strict gender separation in Orthodoxy, there is also a growing push for inclusion of LGBTQ+ individuals in these spaces. Organizations like Eshel, a nonprofit based in the United States and Canada, work to provide LGBTQ+ Orthodox jews and their families with resources for living and thriving in Orthodox Jewish spaces. Other organizations are targeted specifically at teens, such as Jewish Queer Youth, which engages queer youth from Orthodox, Hasidic and traditionalist Sephardi/Mizrahi communities.

“LGBTQ youth who live in a community that is accepting of LGBTQ people reported significantly lower rates of attempting suicide than those who do not,” reports The Trevor Project. For both Brave and Marx, their communities, families and friends were largely supportive of their decision to have non-gendered ceremonies. “It definitely felt like the community showed me a lot of love to be able to do that,” Marx said. “I was really able to be myself.”

By expanding inclusion, Jewish institutions are expanding their reach and impact, as well as creating more engaging communities. “I don’t think that God creates in vain. And so, while there’s a lot of people that are still learning, including myself, about issues relating to gender and identity, our role as a sacred space and a Jewish community is to have an open tent where folks can enter in any doorway they want, because there are no doors,” said Rabbi Greene of Har Hashem. 

Brave said that their ceremony made them feel fully included in their synagogue.It felt good to officially be a part of a community that I can’t really get taken away from,” they said.


The post ‘I wanted to be more me’: Teens propel a trend toward gender-neutral mitzvah ceremonies appeared first on Jewish Telegraphic Agency.

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Women Wage Peace to hold Toronto event in memory of Vivian Silver

By BERNIE BELLAN (Posted MAY 11) In December 2023 we reported on a new fund that was being established in the name of the late Vivian Silver, who was a victim of the Hamas massacre on October 7, 2023.
The announcement of that fund came at a memorial event that was held here in Winnipeg on December 14, 2023. Among those in attendance were Vivian’s two sons: Yonatan and Chen Zeigen.
Vivian Silver was also one of the founders of “Women Wage Peace,” which has recently opened a Winnipeg chapter. Here is how Vivian’s role is described in information provided by Women Wage Peace: “A Canadian-born peace activist, Vivian dedicated her life to pursuing gender equality and fostering dialogue and partnership between Israelis and Palestinian communities. In 2014 she co-founded Women Wage Peace — Israel’s largest grassroots peace movement with recently developed chapters in Australia, Europe, South America, and here in Canada.”

At that December 14, 2023 event in Winnipeg, both of Vivian’s sons spoke of their mother. Here are some excerpts from their remarks:
Chen Zeigen said: We have seen our mother transformed into a symbol, but for us she will always remain a loving mother and grandmother.”
Chen noted that  no matter what his mother was doing to help others, family was always important to her. “We’ll keep remembering her for the person she was, in all of her political activities and achievements.… They were part of it. But to me they were kind of secondary,” Chen said.
“She would march for her causes at noon and tuck us into bed at night,” he said. “She would orchestrate international peace rallies during the week and bake elaborate cakes for her grandchildren’s birthdays.”
“Winnipeg was a home away from home for our mother,” he added. “We would come here summers to be with our bobe and zaide” (the late Roslyn and Meyer Silver).
“To us, her sons, it didn’t matter what path we chose in life so long as it was meaningful to us. No matter what we did, she always had a hug for us.”
Yonatan Zeigen added: “It is said that the older you get the harder it is to make meaningful friends. That was not the case with our mother….She served as an unending source of energy and enthusiasm…She saw a mission in remaining involved in kibbutz responsibility.
“Her memory reminds us to keep hoping for a peaceful future,” Yonatan said.

In her name, he added, he and his brother were establishing a fund to recognize those working towards a shared society between Jews and Arabss.The Vivian Silver Memorial Fund. The proceeds will go towards recipients in Israel selected by her sons that exemplify her activism.


On Wednesday, June 4 in Toronto, Women Wage Peace Canada East, sponsored by the New Israel Fund Canada, will be presenting “In her Voice – the Vivian Silver Legacy Event.” The event will be raising funds for the Vivian Silver Impact Award.
We spoke with one of the organizers of the event, Lynne Mitchell, who grew up in Winnipeg with Vivian, having attended Peretz School with her and later, when they were both teens, were involved as president (Vivian) and vice president of Red River Region BBYO.
Lynne was at that December 2023 memorial event in Winnipeg and she recalls discussing – after the event, with Chen and Yonatan, what might be the most appropriate way they could honour Vivian’s legacy
Eventually, as Lynne describes it, the people organizing the Toronto event are sort of a “hodge podge…of Women Wage Peace Canada East, my family, and some grass roots people who wanted to be involved in it, including a Palestinian women – who remembers Vivian.”
“Our lead sponsor is the New Israel Fund of Canada,” Lynne explained, “because Vivian was on their board years ago and their executive director (whose name is Ben Murane) was captivated by her message also.”
“In Her Voice” will feature a variety of different media, including “music and art to create opportunities for reflection, inspiration, and hope.”
There will also be presentations by Vivian’s sons and a number of other speakers, including from a Palestinian woman who worked with Vivian in Israel for many years in NISPED-AJEEC Negev Institute for Peace and Economic Development)
The first recipients of the Vivian Silver Impact Award will also speak on video – one a Palestinian and the other an Israeli Jew.
Lynne Mitchell added that there are two things that the organizers of the event are hoping attendees will take from the event: “What makes a peacemaker and what can I do?”


One of the speakers,, recently arrived from Ramallah, has also long been dedicated to finding a peaceful path forward between Palestinian and Jewish Israelis. Lynne said that he was quite “astonished at how polarized our respective societies are here in Toronto.”
I asked her whether she thought it was any different in any other city and she admitted that it isn’t
But, just to put a more hopeful tinge to the ongoing tension between Canadian Jews and Palestinians, Lynne mentioned something else that is reflective of the willingness of at least some members of both communities to engage in a more meaningful dialogue.
“There are going to be two MCs for the evening,” Lynne noted. One will be her daughter, while the other will be a Palestinian Canadian woman .
There will be at least two members of the Winnipeg chapter of Women Wage Peace coming from Winnipeg to the event: Chana Thau and Esther Blum. In addition, Vivian’s sister Rachelle, along with her husband and one of her grandsons will be coming, along with Vivian’s brother Neil (who lives in Calgary), as well as many cousins of Vivian’s who live in Toronto.
Toward the end of my conversation with Lynne I referred to the terrible rift that had developed within our own Winnipeg Jewish community over BB Camp and said that there are many who have said we should remain silent about everything that’s gone on – to which Lynne responded: “No, we need to learn from it and not condemn each other and silence each other. That was Vivian’s perspective.”
If you are interested in attending or “donating to In Her Voice,” tickets can be purchased online at nifcan.org/inhervoice.

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JACQUELINE HOCHMAN JUNE 7, 1938 – APRIL 1, 2025

Jacqueline “Jackie” Hochman passed away peacefully on April 1, 2025 at the Simkin Centre in Winnipeg at the age of 86.
Jackie was born on June 7, 1938. She is predeceased by her husband Sam, daughter Robyn, parents Samuel and Bertha “Birdie” Niznick, and brother Allyn.
Jackie will be deeply missed by her remaining children, Marshall and Shawn (Karen), her grandchildren, Hannah, Daniel (Jodi), and Freya (and her partner, Spencer), and her great-granddaughter, Haisley.
Her children and grandchildren were her world. Jackie will be remembered for her fierce love and unwavering devotion to family. Sam, her husband of 65 years, loved her with every fibre of his being. May her memory be a blessing. In lieu of flowers, the family kindly requests that donations be made to the Saul and Claribel Simkin Centre.

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Samsung Washing Machine Repair: Frequent Issues and Professional Fixes

When your Samsung washing machine begins acting up, it can throw your entire laundry routine into chaos. Even with cutting-edge technology and sleek designs, these appliances can develop issues that range from minor glitches to major malfunctions. This comprehensive guide will take you through the most common problems encountered with Samsung washers, walk you through initial diagnostic steps, and explain when and why professional repairs become essential. For more detailed repair insights, Discover more here.

Understanding the Challenges

Samsung washing machines are celebrated for their innovative features, energy efficiency, and robust performance. Yet, like all complex machinery, they are susceptible to wear and tear. Users often report issues such as:

  • Error Codes: Cryptic digital messages indicating malfunctioning sensors or control board errors.
  • Water Drainage Problems: Incomplete draining leading to wet clothes or water pooling in the drum.
  • Excessive Vibration or Noise: Unusual sounds during spin cycles, often a sign of imbalance or mechanical wear.
  • Leaking Water: Water escaping from the machine, which can damage floors and other nearby surfaces.
  • Door Lock or Latch Failures: Problems with door sensors or locking mechanisms that prevent the machine from starting.
  • Motor or Pump Issues: Malfunctions that affect the washer’s ability to agitate, drain, or complete cycles properly.

Each of these issues may have different root causes, and understanding them is the first step to determining whether you can fix it yourself or need professional assistance.

Step-by-Step Diagnostic Process

Before jumping into repairs, it is wise to perform a systematic diagnostic check. Begin by noting any error codes displayed on your machine’s control panel. Samsung models typically provide codes such as “4E” (water inlet issues) or “5E” (drainage errors), which can guide your troubleshooting efforts.

Initial Checks:

  • Power and Settings: Ensure the washer is properly plugged in and that the selected cycle includes the drain phase.
  • Water Supply: Verify that the water inlet is unobstructed and that water pressure is sufficient. Low water pressure can sometimes trigger fill errors.
  • Drainage System: Inspect the drain hose for kinks or blockages. Remove any debris that may hinder the water flow.

Advanced Checks: For more persistent issues, consider:

  • Cleaning filters and pump components to remove lint or foreign objects.
  • Checking sensor contacts and wiring for signs of corrosion or loose connections.
  • Observing the machine during a test cycle to listen for unusual noises that might indicate a failing motor or pump.

These steps can help determine if the problem is a simple fix you can handle on your own, such as clearing a clogged hose, or if it indicates a more severe fault.

When Professional Repairs Are Necessary

While basic troubleshooting can resolve many issues, there are cases when professional repair is the safer and more effective route:

  • Complex Electronic Failures: If your washer is displaying persistent error codes or the control board seems unresponsive, professional diagnostics are crucial to avoid further damage.
  • Mechanical Breakdowns: Problems with the motor, pump, or internal transmission often require specialized tools and expertise to repair correctly.
  • Warranty Considerations: If your Samsung washer is still under warranty, attempting a DIY repair could void it. Authorized technicians use approved parts and methods to maintain your warranty’s validity.
  • Safety Risks: Any repairs involving electrical components or high-voltage parts should be handled by professionals to prevent injury.

When in doubt, it’s best to consult a certified repair service. Professionals have access to manufacturer-specific repair manuals and diagnostic tools that increase the likelihood of a lasting fix.

Professional Fixes: What to Expect

A reputable service technician will start by running a complete diagnostic test on your Samsung washing machine. Once the issue is identified, they may take actions such as:

  • Replacing faulty sensors or electronic control boards that trigger error codes.
  • Cleaning or replacing clogged filters, drain hoses, and pump components to restore proper drainage.
  • Rebalancing or repairing motor assemblies to reduce excessive vibration and noise.
  • Fixing or replacing door locks and latches to ensure safety and proper operation.

The goal of a professional repair is not only to fix the immediate issue but also to provide preventive advice to reduce the likelihood of future malfunctions. Technicians often inspect related components that might soon wear out, recommending part replacements as needed to avoid recurring problems.

Preventive Maintenance: Tips for Longevity

Keeping your Samsung washing machine in peak condition requires a blend of regular maintenance and occasional professional check-ups. Here are some effective strategies:

  • Regular Cleaning: Clean the filter, drain hose, and pump area at least once a month to remove lint and debris.
  • Descaling: In areas with hard water, mineral deposits can affect performance. Use a descaling agent as recommended by the manufacturer.
  • Proper Loading: Avoid overloading the washer, which can strain the motor and pump, and always use the appropriate amount of detergent.
  • Periodic Professional Inspections: Schedule an annual service call to ensure that all components are functioning correctly and to replace any parts showing signs of wear.
  • Follow the Manual: Always refer to the user manual for specific maintenance recommendations tailored to your model.

By adopting these habits, you not only prevent common issues but also extend the overall lifespan of your appliance.

Case Studies: Real-World Success Stories

Consider the experience of Emily, who noticed her Samsung washer repeatedly displaying a “5E” error—indicative of a drainage problem. After a thorough DIY inspection revealed a partially blocked drain hose, she still encountered intermittent issues. Emily then called a professional repair service, which discovered a worn-out pump impeller. Replacing this part not only resolved the error but also improved the machine’s overall efficiency.

In another instance, James’s Samsung washer started to vibrate excessively during spin cycles. What began as a minor annoyance quickly escalated into a concern about potential damage. Professional technicians found that the machine’s suspension system was compromised, and they rebalanced the unit while replacing worn-out shock absorbers. The result was a quieter, more stable machine that James could rely on for years to come.

Samsung washing machines are built to offer convenience and efficiency, but even the best appliances need proper care and occasional expert attention. Whether you’re a DIY enthusiast or prefer to call in the professionals, understanding the common issues and their solutions is key to keeping your machine in top shape. With proactive maintenance and timely repairs, you can ensure that your washer not only lasts longer but also continues to perform at its best.

Embrace preventive practices, know when to take matters into your own hands, and don’t hesitate to seek professional help when needed. In doing so, you safeguard your investment and enjoy the seamless, stress-free operation of your Samsung washing machine for years to come.

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