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Rabbis taking a leading role in discussion of addiction in Jewish community

Rabbi Allan Finkel

By MYRON LOVE
According to Rabbi Allan Finkel, there has been a long-standing pattern of denying the existence of addiction within the established Jewish community.
As recently as 1995, Temple Shalom’s new spiritual leader reported, a study of addiction in England’s Jewish community concluded that the problem didn’t exist in the community. It has only been within the past 25 years that Jewish communities in North America have taken the problem seriously and been making efforts to help community members struggling with addiction.
Finkel addressed the issue at a presentation on Tuesday, January 14, at the Asper Campus Adult Lounge as part of a series of Rady JCC-initiated monthly talks featuring local rabbis speaking about contemporary issues.

 

 

 

 

To begin with, Finkel provided an overview of addictive symptoms including increased usage over time, inability to cut back, withdrawal issues and deleterious effects on your work and family and social relationships.
And while substance addiction – to alcohol, narcotics and prescription drugs – may be what first comes to mind when thinking about addiction, Finkel pointed out that there are many other forms of addiction – such as gambling, sex, Internet use, shopping and food to name some others.

Finkel cited a 2011 study that suggests that almost of half of all Americans (and, most likely Canadians) struggle with some form of addiction. He referred to other recent studies that indicate that not only are there biological and psychological factors that predispose individuals to become addicted, but also social and environmental issues.
He referenced the findings of Dr. Gabor Mate who, while working with patients in Vancouver’s downtown East Side, concluded that 100% of female addicts were sexually abused as children.
Finkel quotes Mate as writing that “all addictive behavior can be traced back to childhood trauma. Not everyone who is traumatized becomes an addict, but everyone who is addicted was traumatized.”
Finkel quoted a second unnamed author who wrote that “most addicts, no matter what kind, have experienced some sort of trauma when they were young”.
And where Jews are concerned, he listed several unique factors that may be factors in addiction, such as the effects of the Holocaust on children of survivors (as is Finkel himself), also the huge pressure on children from peers and parents to excel in school and become professionals.

Finkel cited a 2018 study of drug addiction in the Orthodox community which noted factors such as “failing to live up to parental expectations, as well as sexual, physical, verbal or emotional abuse” and “failing to fit into the mainstream yeshiva structure.
And for years, addictive behavior, he added, has been kept out of sight in Jewish communities in part because of Jews’ long history of exposure to anti-Semitism and the resulting desire not to give the anti-Semites any more ammunition.
There are also cultural and social pressures to keep the family together at all costs.

Finkel noted that the first rabbi to speak publicly about addiction in the community was Chassidic Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski in the early 1970s. He is the founder and Medical Director Emeritus of Gateway Rehabilitation Center, a not-for-profit drug and alcohol treatment system in western Pennsylvania, cited nationally as one of the 12 best drug and alcohol treatment centers in America, and one of the top 100 rehab centers for alcoholism and drug abuse.
Finkel added that the Reform movement began raising awareness of addictive behaviours within the Jewish community in the early 1980s. It was only two years ago, though, he noted, that the Conservative movement’s Rabbinical Assembly agreed with the thesis that “modern science and medicine has demonstrated that addiction is a chronic relapsing brain disease rather than a moral failing” and came out in support of the 12 step program.
As to overcoming addiction, Finkel described “five uniquely Jewish approaches for spiritual healing”. For example, Reform Rabbi Kerry Olitzky, in partnership with Dr. Stuart Copans, created “the 12 Jewish steps to recovery “to demonstrate the Jewishness” behind the 12 steps to encourage Jews struggling with addiction who may be concerned that the 12-step program is too much a Christian program.

Finkel also talked about the Jewish concept of “tshuva” (or spiritual change), the focus on healing in our synagogue services (where we pray for “refuah sh’lemah”, a complete recovery in body and spirit for friends, loved ones and ourselves).
Then there is JACS (Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons and Significant Others) which helps people recovering from addiction in a nurturing Jewish setting. JACS was founded in 1975 and grew out of the work of the Commission on Synagogue Relations of the Federation of Jewish Philanthropies.
JACS (which has been active in Winnipeg – 204 478-8591- for several years) “encourages and assists Jewish alcoholics, chemically dependent persons and their families, friends and associates to explore recovery in a nurturing Jewish environment.
JACS also promotes knowledge and understanding of the disease of alcoholism and chemical dependency as it involves the Jewish community and the effects of alcoholism and drug dependency on Jewish family life.
Finkel cautioned that addicts can’t be forced to seek help. “We can’t cure or control other people,” he pointed out. “We can only heal ourselves.
“We were all born into this world in God’s image. It is our experiences with the world around us that has moved us off that special place.”

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Shalom Residences Foundation to host third annual donor appreciation evening

Shalom Residences treasurer Elaine Paul

By MYRON LOVE On Tuesday, June 16, Shalom Residences  Foundation Inc (SRFI) will be hosting its third annual Donor Appreciation evening.  Donors and other Shalom Residences  supporters can look forward to chilling to the music of local singer/songwriter David Grenon (aka Soul Bear), who will be performing songs by Billy Joel, Elton John and other well-known artists.
For readers who are not yet familiar with Shalom Residences, the organization was originally created to care for intellectually challenged Jewish young adults.  The vision was to provide them with a Jewish environment – strictly kosher group homes where all the Jewish holidays are observed and celebrated.
One of Shalom Residences’ objectives has always been to develop a community in which individuals with intellectual disabilities are fully included, self-actualized, and valued in all aspects of life.
The concept has been a remarkable success.
Shalom Residences was founded in 1980 by six far-sighted couples, including Thelma and Ernie Bronstein, Dolly and Zivey Chudnow, Min and Joe Fromkin, Roberta and Larry Hurtig, Elaine and Bobby Paul,
and Sybil and Frank Steele. The original Shalom Home was a converted house on Cathedral Avenue.

“Thelma Bronstein’s determination and dynamism contributed to making it happen,” says Elaine Paul, currently Shalom Residences’ treasurer (and for the past 20 years, the organization’s leading fundraiser).
I remember the home’s official opening.  This was shortly after I started writing for the Jewish Post.  Rabbi Charles Grysman affixed the mezzuzah  to the door frame.
Today, the organization operates six group homes housing 19 residents as well as 12 residents in supported independent living arrangements.
While the operations today are largely funded by the provincial government – which means that the residences have to be open to accepting non-Jewish clients as well (just over half of the residents are Jewish) – the Shalom Residences Foundation funding supplements the  government contribution – providing financial support for increasing staffing levels when needed, as well as extraordinary expenditures and contingencies. The Foundation has also provided the down payment for the purchase  of new housing when necessary. .
The necessity of fundraising was evident right from the beginning.   Elaine Paul recalls that the first Manitoba Marathon –  in which all the founding parents were involved –  provided the funding for the mortgage at 175 Cathedral Ave.
“We worked with Helen Steinkopf and John Robertson to develop the marathon,” Paul remembers. ”For several years,  Hy Kravetsky and I worked handing out water to the runners.”
Paul relates that it was Zivey Chudnow who was instrumental in starting up Shalom Residences’ annual fundraising. “Three of Zivey’s friends,:Norman Tatleman, Sam Ostrove, and Gary Levinson, asked how they could help,” she recalls.  “Their idea was to have a fundraising dinner.  We combined the dinner with a lottery. We sold 60 tickets at $1,000 a piece and paid out $15,000 to the winning ticket and lesser amounts to other lucky winners.”
The organization also held annual well attended fundraising teas.   
 
Paul reports that, for years, Chudnow was Shalom Residences’ best fundraiser – with honourable mention to Avrum Katz, Frank Steele, and the late Joe Elfenbaum.  Paul took over the role 10 years ago – again with honourable mention to SRFI board members, Dr. Allen Kraut, Peter Leipsic, Donna Chudnow, Jon Feldman, and Mickey Rosenberg. 
  
In addition, the goal was, and remains empowering adults with intellectual disabilities to live meaningful, dignified lives in community-based homes in Winnipeg, enriched by Jewish values.
Charles Tax, the SRFI’s long time president, notes that in 2017, the organization created an endowment fund with the Jewish Foundation of Manitoba. “At the time, we transferred more than half of our assets to the JFM,” he says.  “We continue to make contributions to our fund.”
 
He notes that the annual dinners came to an end with the 20230 Covid lockdowns.  The donor appreciation evenings were started in 2023. 
“One of our goals is to acquire one or two more houses in the south end,” Tax adds.
 
Readers who may be interested in attending the donor appreciation evening or otherwise supporting SRFI can contact the office at 204 582-7064 or via email (admin@shalomresidences.com).
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Debbie Maslowsky playing lead role in upcoming Dry Cold Productions musical

By MYRON LOVE For the past 40 years Debbie Maslowsky has been entertaining Winnipeg audiences – both Jewish and non-Jewish, with her acting and singing.  Arguably Winnipeg’s queen of musical theatre is returning to the stage on May 13 in a lead role in Dry Cold Productions’ upcoming “Kimberly Akimbo”.
Maslowsky is enthusiastic about the Tony-winning production, which debuted on Broadway in November 2022.  “It’s a gem of a musical,” she says of the production crafted by the musical team of  composer Jeanine Tesori and lyricist David Lindsay-Abaire.
 
The subject itself is not – on the surface – uplifting. As Maslowsky describes it,  “Kimberly Akimbo” is the story  of a teenager suffering from a very rare condition – progeria – also known as the aging disease.  The genetic condition causes children to age at an accelerated rate causing them to die of old age while still in their teens. For those readers who may recall Rabbi Harold Kushner’s book, “Why Bad Things Happen to Good People” – written years ago, Kushner was responding to the death of his own son from progeria.

In the hands of Tesori and Lindsay-Abaire though, Maslowsky notes, the show is about mindfulness and living day by day.  In the production, Maslowsky explains, “Kimberly is trying to live as normal a life as she can despite her illness. Her life is further complicated by a dysfunctional family. Her parents are dealing with their own issues. Then there is the madcap aunt who develops a complicated and hilarious plan to make money for a family road trip, raise funds for choir costumes – with some left over for herself.

“The play is very funny,” Maslowsky comments, “but also poignant.  Kimberly knows that she most likely won’t live much beyond 16.  Therefore, she wants to live every day to the fullest. She wants to live every day in the now.  At the same time, she doesn’t want to hide from reality. She doesn’t want special treatment. She also doesn’t want people – such as her parents – trying to pretend that everything will be okay.”

Maslowsky last appeared on stage in Winnipeg Jewish Theatre’s one-woman production of “A Pickle” in the spring of 2023. That was the true story of a Jewish pickle maker living in Minnesota who had to fight to get her pickles included in the state fair pickle competition, which tried to disqualify her because her pickles were made the Jewish way through a  brining process that the non-Jewish judges refused to accept. 
In the interim, Maslowsky has been focusing on her longstanding business as a trade show, conference  and event manage,r as well as picking up some singing gigs. She reports that she began winding down her business last fall.

She speaks highly of her younger cast mates. “They are an amazing group of young people,” she says. “For some of them, this is their first show.  I myself am still learning new things after all these years.”
Maslowsky will next be appearing in the joint Winnipeg Jewish Theatre-Rainbow Stage production of “Fiddler on the Roof” in September.  “I played one of the daughters years ago in an earlier Fiddler production,” she recalls.  “I feel like I am coming full circle.”
 
Dry Cold Productions was founded by Donna Fletcher and Reid Harrison (now retired) more than 25 years ago. The company stages a yearly musical theatre production – sometimes edgy – which has played on Broadway and is new to Winnipeg audiences.
The Dry Cold website cautions that “Kimberly Akimbo” contains “strong language (with frequent profanity), mature humour, and references to sexual activity”.
“Kimberly Akimbo” is scheduled to run May 13–17, 2026 at the Prairie Theatre Exchange. Tickets can be purchased by contacting  Dry Cold productions online.

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The second Bar Mitzvah: Better than the first

Gerry Posner and Ted Lyons

By GERRY POSNER As we pass down the corridor of life, there are certainly times we can identify as moments we will never forget. I had such a moment on April 11 at my second Bar Mitzvah, at the Shaarey Zedek Synagogue, shared with Dr. Ted Lyons, or E. A. as I called him over the years. We were celebrating this life cycle event at the very same synagogue as the first one, that is – the Shaarey Zede. For me, it was some 70 years ago or 25,557 days – from April 21, 1956 to April 11, 2026. The notion of returning to the original place of Bar Mitzvah 1.0 was too powerful a force, causing me to abandon my plan to do this in Toronto where my wife, Sherna and I have lived for the last 13 plus years.

It was quite the weekend. We started just before Erev Shabbat with photos of our two families on the bimah. Ted had his whole family there, including his daughter Mara, her husband Sheldon, and their two daughters, as well as his son Sami, his wife Rose, and their three kids, all of whom live In Calgary, not to forget his sister Ellen and her husband Howard Goldstein, from Toronto. Our three kids: Ari, Rami and Amira, all of whom live in Toronto, along with two of my grandchildren, as well as my brother Michael from Toronto were also present.

After the Shabbat service, we stayed on in the building for our Shabbat dinner. There were 23 of us, including Michael’s partner, Ruth Grubert, (formerly Mozersky), also a former Winnipegger, as well as Rabbi Mass,his son Ranan, Rabbi Carnie Rose and his wife Pauline. It was a warm group and the dinner was gobbled up and appreciated by all of us. We were all surprised when independently, the respective grandchildren of the Bar Mitzvah “bochers” presented both of us with a kind of tribute – funny and sincere in their affection for their Zaidas.

Then came the big day. It lived up to and even exceeded my expectations. It was a sell-out crowd. I was overwhelmed just at that fact. The only thing missing from the building was the electronic ark. The respective families all participated with aliyahs and indeed Torah readings by Sami Lyons and the 83-year-old Bar Mitzvah boy Ted Lyons. Now, “leyning” from the Torah was not something Ted had done at the first go-round 70 years ago. (In fact, almost all of us were deficient in that area).
One particular moment during the service was especially meaningful for Sherna and me. In the first part of the service, there is a prayer called “Mi Chamocha.” My son Ari had written music for that prayer several years ago and now he was at Shaarey Zedek, where he had his Bar Mitzvah long ago. This time though the clergy had arranged to use his music and to sing his melody. (It had been used many times previously, but without Ari. ) Not only that, he was invited to play his composition at the service as Cantor Leslie Emery sang it. Those few moments – as we watched and listened, at this – my second Bar Mitzvah, at a place where my parents had been members for years and whose names are on the memorial plaque in the chapel, well, that was powerful, to put it mildly.

Ted and his family had various honours as did my family. I was given the Haftorah to chant. Now, I have few talents, but I can chant a Haftroah (not the most marketable skill), so that was not that much of an obstacle for me. In fact, I rather enjoyed doing this part of the service. Rabbi Rose had also given me permission to deliver a D’var Torah on the portion of the week, “Shemini”, and to discuss the meaning of this, my second Bar Mitzvah. Once I had the mic and the stage, I was ready to go in spite of my wife’s protestations that it was too long. And, in fact, as I rolled along into my Haftorah, after about 10 minutes, my parter in the double Bar, Ted, came up from behind me where he was sitting, and nudged me gently, or to put it more accurately, gave me the hook, announcing that it was time to wrap up. It was kind of comical, in fact. I got a large charge from that sudden intervention. To top it off, as I had been speaking, I noticed a congregant on my left near the front who had apparently passed out. It was alarming to me at first, but the medics came and were able to revive this person. I was told later that other first words out of the mouth were “Has he finally finished?”

We concluded the day with a rather large kiddish luncheon highlighted at least for me by traditional party sandwiches, which were a staple of the kiddishes of my youth. I met with so many people of my past, which was a treat and a half for me. I was so into the moment that It was hard to get me out of the building.

As I reflect on the day and the service, I recognized that for all of us, we have times in our lives, whether it be an hour, a day or a week, that we will never forget. This day was for me one such moment. It is etched in my memory to be relived through the Youtube video now in my possession. The gift that keeps on giving, I say.
My first Bar Mitzvah was good, for sure. This one was far better. I knew what I was doing.

Post script (After Gerry had sent us his story, he sent us something else that he said should have been included in the story): True, Ted and I had the Bar Mitzvah no 2. But we only had it because there was one person who did the real work and yet received no credit. She made all the arrangements with the synagogue for both the Friday night Shabbat dinner and the kiddish lunch after the service. She dealt with various people in the synagogue and basically took charge of our simcha. I speak, of course, of Harriet Lyons. That I failed to mention her was due to my excess focus on the eating of the party sandwiches and not enough on the reason we had them in the first place. Harriet teaches the weaving of tallits, but she stands tall in the arranging of Bar Mitzvahs.

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